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You always stole my thunder. You gave them everything they wanted. You never said no when they asked for anything.

Tina Platamura

A second helping of dessert. Candy before dinner. A few more minutes in the bath. Money for the ice cream truck.

I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn’t spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into “selfish brats” by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.

You held each one of my babies long after they fell asleep. Didn’t you understand that I needed them to learn to fall asleep on their own?

You ran to them as soon as they made the tiniest sound. How would they ever learn to self-soothe?

I resented you for buying the best and most expensive gifts on their birthdays and on Christmas. How could I possibly compete with you?

“I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.”

And how they loved afternoons spent with you. You made their favorite things for dinner — three different meals for three different boys. And you always had a little surprise. A present, candy, or a special treat. I didn’t want them to associate you with gifts and sweets. I thought they should love you for you. I tried to tell you this, but you wouldn’t listen.

I spent a lot of time wondering why you did all these things and how I could get you to ease up. I know grandmothers are supposed to “spoil the kids” then send them home, but you were … ridiculous.

Until you were gone.

I had to hold my boys and tell them that their grandma died. It didn’t seem possible — you were supposed to be there for all the other special moments: proms, graduations, weddings. But they lost their grandma too soon and too suddenly. They were not ready to say goodbye.

During those years when I wished you’d stop spoiling them, I never thought about how much you loved them. So much that you showed it in every way possible. Your cooking. The gifts. The candy and sweets. Your presence. The way you could recount every detail of a special moment, whether it was a perfect catch in the outfield or a sweet and slightly off-key note sung at a school concert. Your grandmotherly love for them knew no bounds. Your heart poured love from every place possible — your kitchen, your pocketbook, your words, and your tireless arms.

It’s pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity.

My kids, now in their teens, miss you dearly. And they don’t miss your gifts or your money. They miss you.

They miss running to greet you at the door and hugging you before you could step in. They miss looking up at the bleachers and seeing you, one of their biggest fans, smiling and enthralled to catch their eye. They miss talking to you and hearing your words of wisdom, encouragement and love.

If I could speak to you one more time, I would tell you that every time a precious moment steals my heart, every time I watch them arrive at a new milestone, and every time they amaze me with their perseverance, talents, or triumphs, I think of you. And I wish that they could have you back.

Come back and love them one last time, like no one else in the world but a grandmother could. Bring your sweets and surprises. Reward them with gifts for the smallest accomplishments. Painstakingly prepare their favorite meals. Take them anywhere they want to go. All and only because you love them.

Come back and see how much they’ve grown. Watch each boy becoming his own version of a young man. Be in awe with me as we admire how family, friendship, time, and love helped them grow so beautifully over the years.

The more I long for you to come back, though, the more I realize that in a way, you never left.

I understand now. I know you loved them in every way you could. I know that being their grandma gave you joy and purpose. And of course I know that you can’t come back, but I do know that your love for them will always remain. Your love built them and sheltered them in ways that cannot be described. Your love is a big part of who they are and what they will become as they grow. For this, and for every treat and gift, and every time you held them too long or consoled them too much or let them stay up too late, I will always thank you.

And I will wish a million times that you could do it all again.

This article was written by Tina Plantamura and originally appeared on 04.14.16

Practical gifts for Christmas are underrated. There, I said it.

Sure, it’s great to receive fun clothes and knickknacks and whatnot, but have you ever felt the pure bliss of unwrapping something truly useful? Something that you might have even kept hovering in the amazon cart forever, but could never find a proper excuse to pull the trigger? That’s an emotional combination of excitement, relief and yes, joy, that simply can’t be beat.

And yet, many gift givers still feel the pressure to buy super sentimental or clever—not to mention expensive—items during the holidays, even when the recipient has asked otherwise.

While the intention is surely to show their loved one how much they mean to them, proceeding to choose indulgence over senseability could be a form of disrespect, and lose sight on what the meaning behind gift giving is in the first place.

This could especially be said of parents with adult or teenage children, argues a woman named Katie (@jaii.bee).

In a video posted to her TikTok, Katie offered a “reminder” that if parents ask their teen/adult kid what they’d like for Christmas (of their birthday) and their kids suggests they help pay for a bill, offer some gas or grocery money, or replenish some facial cleanser, and they reject the request by saying “that’s not a gift,” that they’re in the wrong.

Katie then doubled down on her point by saying that if parents feel this way, they’re actually buying a gift for themselves, not their children.

“And that is not how gifts are supposed to work,” she stated.

@jaii.bee agree or disagree? #adultchildren #psa ♬ original sound – JB | If You’re Mid, Stay Mad

She also stressed that it’s almost impossible to enjoy “something nice” when the basic necessities can’t be taken care of. And that honestly, no adult would ask their parents for this stuff unless they absolutely needed to. If parents are able to do both, then great. But otherwise, just get them what they asked for.

Lastly, Katie asserted that “if you give someone cash as a gift and they don’t use it in the way you want them to, that has nothing to do with you.” Once that person has the cash in hand, it’s theirs to do with as they see fit.

“Maybe it’s a little controversial,” she concluded, “but if someone is specifically asking you for something and you can get them that thing and you choose not to, you’re bad at giving gifts.”

Katie is apparently not alone in her stance. Several folks commented in support of practical gifts, including many whose favorite gifts ever received were everyday items. Others poked fun at the logic—or lack thereof—behind certain novelty gifts.

Here’s a small sampling:

“My mom bought me tires for my car and I literally sobbed. Best gift ever. Peace, safety, and a weight off my back. This is sooo true!”

“Parents be like, ‘cash isn’t a personal enough gift!’ And then get you some generic wall art.’

“My dad fills our freezer with meat every Christmas. My favorite gift.”

“I asked my 22-year-old what she wanted. She said food and cat litter and gas and shoes for work. She will get all of that for Christmas.”

“For 17 years I’ve been bought decor as gifts, not a single piece has ever been on display in my house because I don’t do decor.”

May this story serve as a gentle PSA to not succumb to the siren song of Christmas-time consumerism. Don’t buy kitschy things just to buy them, especially when something like a bill being paid for or groceries being taken care of can really, truly make someone light up for the holidays. Perhaps there is no gift more personal than exactly what a person asked for.

In a new interview with InStyle magazine, tennis star Naomi Osaka goes in-depth about motherhood, offering some insight into parenting and the adjustments she’s made since the birth of her daughter Shai with rapper Cordae. The interview comes about two months after breakup rumors emerged online in the wake of what some interpreted as some suggestive posts. InStyle‘s interview focuses mainly on the changes to Naomi’s life and only mentions Cordae three times, so fans looking for more info might still have some questions.

Are Naomi Osaka & Cordae Still Together?

According to E! the rumors of the couple’s breakup first surfaced in October, after Osaka deleted or archived every photo featuring Cordae on Instagram and apparently unfollowed him to boot. Instagram Story updates like “I just want someone that will watch the sunset with me” were interpreted by some fans as subtle admissions of a split, just a few months removed from Shai’s birth. At around the same time, Cordae released his single “Make Up Your Mind” with a music video depicting a complicated relationship.

Whatever their dating status at the very least, it sounds like they’re still on good terms, if not technically together (although InStyle‘s story still describes Cordae as Osaka’s boyfriend in the intro). All Naomi tells InStyle about Cordae is that they’ve “built a really good foundation” for co-parenting, adding, “I don’t know if it’s because he’s just an easygoing guy, but I think we just respect each other’s opinions. And if we disagree on something, we talk it out. At the end of the day, we both want what’s best for Shai.” So, until either comes out and just says it, there’s still no real answer, but it’s good to hear that their baby has a loving home, either way.

Would you pay eighteen dollars for a smoothie — in this economy!? Well, yes, if that smoothie came from Erewhon Market, the trendy Los Angeles grocery chain that rides the line between being a brial meme and the center of a cult. And if said smoothie came with “Vampire” singer Olivia Rodrigo’s co-sign. The “good 4 ur GUTS Smoothie” is named after the singer’s new album Guts, and like most Erewhon products, has a slew of supposedly heathful ingredients to help consumers live their best lives — making that $18 investment not so much of a “bad idea — right?” (It’s also far from the most expensive thing on the menu, if that helps).

How To Buy Olivia Rodrigo’s Erewhon Smoothie

According to Erewhon the “Guts” smoothie will be available beginning Friday, December 15. However, users of the chain’s mobile app can get it a day early (today, that is). Of course, you’ll probably have to be in LA to get ahold of it, unless you have someone willing to stick it in their freezer for you til you can come on out.

What Ingredients Are In Olivia Rodrigo’s “Good 4 Ur Guts” Smoothie?

Erewhon has posted the ingredients for the smoothie, which include “Minor Figures Oatmilk, Health-ade Pomegranate Kombucha, SIBU Sea Buckthorn, Ion Gut Support, Nate’s Pure Organic Honey, Sprout Living’s Epic Protein Chocolate Maca, organic strawberries, organic dates, organic blueberries, organic mango, organic coconut cream, and organic avocados.”

When it comes to Zack Snyder‘s burgeoning sci-fi franchise, Rebel Moon, the director has not been shy about his lofty goals for the series, which initially started as a Star Wars pitch to Lucasfilm.The first installment, Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire, arrives on Netflix next week. The second installment, Part Two – The Scargiver, is already locked in for 2024, but leave it to Snyder to already be teasing future films in the Rebel Moon series.

During Wednesday’s night red carpet premiere for A Child of Fire revealed that he has a dream cast in mind, and it involves one of the biggest NBA players in the game: Lebron James.

Via Variety:

I asked Zack and producer Deborah Snyder if they have any dream casting ideas for future film installments. “We have the dream cast,” Deborah said.

Zack added, “I have an embarrassment of riches. To dream bigger than that just seems rude.” But then, after I insisted he dream big, Zack said, “I think if I could get LeBron James in the movie … I know that sounds crazy. I’m just saying … but yeah, we’ll see as the story evolves.”

If Snyder somehow manages to lock down King James for a Rebel Moon, he better be prepared to film multiple versions. Despite having free rein from Netflix, Snyder is dropping director’s cuts for both Part 1 and Part 2. Those versions will be R-rated and “very hard, very like sexy, violent, crazy, everything’s all at 11.”

Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire hits Netflix on December 22.

If Ice Spice’s Dunkin Donuts drink was a little too unhealthy for your liking (or, like Uproxx’s own Dane Rivera, you just did not like the combination of textures), another music star has you covered.

Olivia Rodrigo has teamed up with LA’s favorite trendy grocery store Erewhon Market to offer the “good 4 ur GUTS Smoothie,” which is “packed with vibrant flavors and robust gut-healing support” according to the marketing.

Of course, no Erewhon shopper would ever put anything in their body without first knowing all of its ingredients (heh), so here are the ingredients:

What Ingredients Are In Olivia Rodrigo’s Erewhon ‘Good 4 Ur Guts’ Smoothie?

The product page reveals that ingredients include Minor Figures Oatmilk, Health-ade Pomegranate Kombucha, SIBU Sea Buckthorn, Ion Gut Support, Nate’s Pure Organic Honey, Sprout Living’s Epic Protein Chocolate Maca, organic strawberries, organic dates, organic blueberries, organic mango, organic coconut cream, and organic avocados.

I don’t know what any of that supposedly does for you (and be honest, neither do you), but if that sounds scrumptious, you can grab a smoothie tomorrow, Friday, December 15 for $18 — which sounds egregious for a blend of stuff that grows out of the ground (and possibly tastes like the ground it grew out of), until you realize that Erewhon has a bunch that cost even more than that. It’s not a cult, I’m sure.

This is YouTuber and makeup guru Manny Gutierrez.

Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for People.

He’s taking the beauty world by storm, one tweet at a time.

Maybelline just recruited Gutierrez to be the face of its new mascara campaign — the very first time the role has ever been given to a man.

From a promotional standpoint, the move was a smart one. Gutierrez has amassed millions of social media fans who follow him for his expert makeup advice and hilarious online presence.

But with all the extra fanfare lately, Gutierrez, who is openly gay, has attracted some unwanted attention too.

On Jan. 6, 2017, conservative blogger Matt Walsh tweeted out a photo of Gutierrez, writing, “Dads, this is why you need to be there to raise your sons.”

Dads, this is why you need to be there to raise your sons.pic.twitter.com/8ybirgppKi

Dads, this is why you need to be there to raise your sons.pic.twitter.com/8ybirgppKi

— Matt Walsh (@Matt Walsh)
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Needless to say, Walsh’s tweet — which racked up nearly 5,000 favorites and over 1,600 retweets — encapsulates a whole lot of bigotry and ignorance in less than 140 characters.

Walsh’s rhetoric wasn’t just harmful, though, it was factually incorrect too.

Gutierrez’s dad, “Manny Sr.,” has been there for the social media star.

In fact, he’s been one of Gutierrez’s biggest supporters.

After Walsh’s example of fragile masculinity went viral, Manny Sr. — who works for his son and is “so proud” of him — decided to throw in his two cents. He wrote a message addressed to Walsh and asked Gutierrez to share it on his social media accounts:

My dad is a fucken SAVAGE, I can’t with him pic.twitter.com/iWceEmZ6L4

My dad is a fucken SAVAGE, I can’t with him pic.twitter.com/iWceEmZ6L4

— Manny MUA (@Manny MUA)
1484434696

“Not only am I proud of what [my son] has accomplished, but I’m more proud of the person he has become,” Manny Sr. wrote.

“I know the words you speak are from lack of knowing anybody from the LGBT community,” he wrote. “If you did, you would soon realize they are some of the most real and kind hearted individuals that walk this planet of ours.”

Fortunately, Manny’s tweet with his dad’s message has spread much further than Walsh’s original hateful comment, garnering more than 12,000 retweets and nearly 60,000 favorites.

Gutierrez’s dad’s love for his son reflects a broader shift in parents who are accepting and supportive of their LGBTQ children.

While the popularity of same-sex marriage doesn’t necessarily indicate progress on all queer issues, it does serve as a general barometer to gauge Americans’ evolving attitudes on LGBTQ rights. And in that sense, we’ve come a long way.

Not only has national approval of marriage equality trended upward in recent years — surpassing 60% in 2016 — but, more specifically, parents of a certain generation are coming around to the idea too: A 2016 WedInsights study found that 60% of married same-sex couples reported having emotional support from their parents — up from 46% in 2013.

There are many more Manny Sr.’s out there.

In response to the letter, fans applauded Gutierrez’s dad.

Whether it was through an abundance of exclamation points…

…attempts to recruit Gutierrez’s dad for public office…

Can we have your dad for president?!

Can we have your dad for president?!

— Cheryl (@Cheryl)
1484446415

…or sending him a simple message of love via hug.

Fans loved Manny Sr.’s message of inclusion. And that message, of course, wasn’t lost on Gutierrez either.

“He’s the best,” Gutierrez wrote in response to one fan. “[I’m] so lucky to have him.”

This article was originally published on 1.18/17

Warning: The following video contains disturbing imagery.

Security camera footage out of Thailand is a warning to people everywhere about the importance of making sure children are safe around pools. It’s also a wonderful story about a toddler being brave and looking out for her younger sister.

Kana Kanuengnit, 3, and 2-year-old Kaning were hanging around their family’s pool in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand on Friday, April 1 when the incident happened. Their father, 29-year-old Apisit, was watching the kids while their mother was inside the house.

“I was sweeping near the pool and my wife was cooking in the kitchen behind the house,” he said according to Yahoo. “We weren’t planning for any pool activities so I didn’t notice what was happening. But after a moment of me sweeping with my back to the pool, my younger daughter fell into the pool.”

Kaning fell into the 4-foot-deep pool and immediately struggled to keep her head above water. Her older sister, Kana, realized she was in danger and immediately called out to her father, whose back was still turned while he swept near some patio furniture.

The girl screamed to her father that Kaning was in the pool and quickly sprang into action.

“I didn’t know what to do, I forgot to think about my phone and things in my pocket. I threw it all and just jumped in the pool,” Apisit said. The father was fast on his feet and pulled his daughter out of the pool before she sank to the bottom. We’re pretty sure the father could care less about his phone knowing that his daughter is safe.

Apisit hopes that the harrowing video serves as a warning for parents everywhere. “I think this is a great example to remind people that you cannot take your eyes off even for a split second when there are children and water,” he said.

“I want to stress this to parents with small kids and a pool to put up a barrier around the pool if not, they should always be careful,” he added.

The story brings to mind one that Upworthy covered in the 2020. A 3-year-old boy named Henrique in Rio de Janeiro snuck away from his parents and was playing poolside with another child his age named Arthur.

In the video, Henrique is seen stretching to grab an inflatable toy and then falls into the pool. For 10 seconds Henqriue struggles to keep his head above water until Arthur bravely extends his hand and pulls the boy up. If Arthur didn’t have the strength, he could have fallen into the pool and both boys may have died.

Summer is coming up and kids will be playing in or around pools. Every year, around 400 children aged 15 and younger die in a pool or spa incident. Three-quarters of those deaths involve children younger than 5, and 83% of those occur in residential pools.

Three rules every parent should follow:

1. Never leave a child in or near water unattended.

2. Make sure there are barriers around your pool or spa to prevent unsupervised children from getting into the water.

3. Learn how to perform CPR on children and adults.

This story originally appeared on 04.08.22

Chickens have been on the rise as pets or at the very least resident egg layers after the great egg inflation of 2022. Chicken coops have popped up in suburban backyards across America with no expectation other than for them to cluck around and provide breakfast. They even make chicken outfits and tiny hands you can place over their wings.

Owning chickens has really become mainstream. But for one chicken mom there was a few minutes where she wasn’t quite sure what was happening with her feathered friends. Brianna Antionette uploaded a video to TikTok of what appears to be her chickens glitching…or being frozen by an alien forcefield about to beam them up. The entire situation was strange.

It was time for the chickens to eat and they were happily clicking along trying to get coordinated to follow the human leading them to food. Suddenly the chickens go quiet and stop mid stride. No movement whatsoever to include breathing from what it looks like.

The text overlay on the video reads, “have you ever seen a glitch in the matrix.” It really does look like a scene from a sci-fi movie the way all of the chickens freeze in unison. Some of the chickens still had their feet lifted as they froze mid stride and since chickens can’t talk the woman was left freaking out calling them to eat as they were completely unresponsive to her voice.

Some commenters offered a very reasonable explanation to all of her chickens suddenly playing freeze tag while others alternated between saying she faked it and being creeped out.

“Y’all they probably saw a hawk,” one person writes with a sobbing emoji.

“Chicken Tender here. They seen a threat and froze. When you said ‘where you going’ one alerted with a ‘growl’ tone telling others to stop moving.

@brianna_antionette

What in the world happened to the chickens🤯😵‍💫🫨 #viral #fyp

See, totally normal chicken stuff assuming “Chicken Tender” means one that tends to chickens and not the finger food. The logical answers didn’t stop others from speculating or freaking out, including Brianna. When responding to a comment that says, “you too damn calm for me. I wud[sic] have ran over there and shook one,” Brianna revealed her fear.

“LISTENN!! I thought the RAPTURE WAS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE my mind was moving faster than my body,” she cries.

Thankfully for Brianna and her chickens, there was no rapture. There was no glitch in the matrix or aliens trying to beam them up and the chickens were not playing a cruel joke (people are giving tiny chicken brains too much credit). Nothing was wrong with her chickens, they were instinctively protecting themselves from a predator.

Hawks can easily carry away small animals so when animals are aware that they are prey for the large bird, they do what they can to minimize their risk. In this case, chickens know they can’t fly away nor can they out run the predator like a rabbit may be able to so instead they attempt to become invisible by freezing in place.

Childhood is the time for play and imagination, but in the modern era, that’s often translated into toys, toys and more toys. There’s nothing wrong with toys, of course—humans have been making toys of one kind or another across cultures for millennia. But in our age, endless aisles of consumerism means an overabundance of toy options that can easily overtake the playroom.

It doesn’t help that toys have gotten increasingly cheaper over the past 30 years. And with the holidays approaching, families often feel compelled to pile the presents high and deep, leading to an ever-greater accumulation of toys.

If you feel like it’s all too much, you’re not wrong. And thankfully, there’s research to back you up on this.

We all know that kids don’t need a ton of toys, but not everyone knows that having too many toys is actually bad for kids. And I don’t just mean in a too-many-toys-will-spoil-them kind of way. As child development expert Dan Wuori shared on X, “In a 2018 study, researchers observed two different toddler play settings—one with 16 toys and the other with only 4. What they found was that the children presented with fewer options actually engaged more deeply in play. They stayed focused longer and used the toys available to them in more imaginative ways. Which is just what we want, developmentally.”

He also pointed out that the parents participating in the study estimated that their children had, on average, 90 toys at home. That’s a whole lot of toys to choose from.

— (@)

For one, spaces with too many toys can be overstimulating and overwhelming for young children. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop that had dozens of flavors and tried to pick just one? Even adults can find their decision-making skills stymied by having too many choices, so imagine being a small child who is new to everything trying to decide what to play with.

Also, fewer toys helps kids focus and play more deeply, in addition to helping encourage problem-solving skills. If a child gets frustrated with a toy that they can’t figure out how to use, they’ll be tempted to move on to an easier one if there are tons to choose from. If they are limited by what’s available, they’re more likely to take the time to figure it out.

The good news is that having a lot of toys doesn’t automatically mean your kid is going to be hindered developmentally. There are several ways parents can make a big difference here:

– Establish a regular pattern of purging. Determine how many toys is “enough” toys, and set the expectation that when a new toy comes in, an old one goes out. Keep it positive by donating toys and explaining it as “sharing the toy joy” with other kids.

– Rotate the toys you do have. Keep a few toys out and stash the others away, out of sight and out of reach. When a child seems to have exhausted a toy, replace it with one from the stash. This way children only have access to a few toys at a time so they get the benefit of both a limited number of toys to play with and also the benefit of having a variety of toys to rotate.

– Remember that toys don’t need to be fancy or complex. Open-ended toys that can be used for lots of different kinds of play are often popular choices, but kids can make almost anything into a toy. Most parents discover that their toddler is more interested in the box than the toy that came in it—just go with it. Often the fewer toys they have, the more imaginative they will be in making everyday objects into playthings.

– If you’re concerned about your kid getting a deluge of toys for Christmas, maybe suggest some alternatives to well-meaning family members that can still be wrapped and unwrapped (which is most of the fun of giving and getting presents). There are practical options that kids actually get into, like a toothbrush set, bath towel, cup or other useful item in their favorite colors or characters. A watch or a sleeping bag or their own set of kitchen tools are also great options. Arts and crafts materials, depending on the age, can be a big hit, too.

A handful of toys is truly all kids need at one time, so give yourself permission to pare down the playroom. It will not only save a lot of mess but it’s actually a healthy choice for your child in the long run.