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12 hilariously relatable comics about life as a new mom.


Embarrassing stains on your T-shirt, sniffing someone’s bum to check if they have pooped, the first time having sex post-giving birth — as a new mom, your life turns upside-down.

Illustrator Ingebritt ter Veld and Corinne de Vries, who works for Hippe-Birth Cards, a webshop for birth announcements, had babies shortly after one another.


In the series “#ThingsOnlyMomsKnow” Ingebritt and Corinne depict the reality of motherhood — with all the painful, funny, and loving moments not always talked about.

1. Pee-regnant.

pregnancy, family, bathroom breaks, comedy

2. How (not) to sleep.

sleep habits, body changes, hormones, relationships

3. Cry baby.

mood swings, empathy, relationship advice, funny

4. The new things that scare you…

maternity, prenatal care, postpartum depression, raising kids

5. …and the new things that give you the creeps.

gender roles, social issues, respect, pregnancy

6. Being a new mom can get a little … disgusting.

pregnancy test, birth control, moms, relationship advice

7. And every mom has experienced these postpartum horror stories.

bladder control, body transformation, human miracles, body positivity

8. There are many, many memorable firsts.

infants, adults, baby poo, intestinal gas

9. Getting to know your post-baby body is an adventure.

lactation, friendship, me time, breast pump

10. Pumping ain’t for wimps.

convenient pregnancy aids, pumping, breast feeding, baby formula

11. You become very comfortable with spit-up. Very comfortable.

possetting, infancy,

12. Your body, mind, and most importantly, heart, will expand in ways you didn’t know possible.

body and mind awareness, love, family, mothers

This story first appeared on Hippe Birth Cards and is reprinted here with permission.


This article originally appeared on 09.13.17

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3,700-year-old Babylonian stone tablet gets translated, changes history

Dr. Daniel Mansfield and his team at the University of New South Wales in Australia have just made an incredible discovery. While studying a 3,700-year-old tablet from the ancient civilization of Babylon, they found evidence that the Babylonians were doing something astounding: trigonometry!

Most historians have credited the Greeks with creating the study of triangles’ sides and angles, but this tablet presents indisputable evidence that the Babylonians were using the technique 1,500 years before the Greeks ever were.


Mansfield and his team are, understandably, incredibly proud. What they discovered is that the tablet is actually an ancient trigonometry table.

Mansfield said:

“The huge mystery, until now, was its purpose – why the ancient scribes carried out the complex task of generating and sorting the numbers on the tablet. Our research reveals that Plimpton 322 describes the shapes of right-angle triangles using a novel kind of trigonometry based on ratios, not angles and circles. It is a fascinating mathematical work that demonstrates undoubted genius.”

“The tablet not only contains the world’s oldest trigonometric table; it is also the only completely accurate trigonometric table, because of the very different Babylonian approach to arithmetic and geometry. This means it has great relevance for our modern world. Babylonian mathematics may have been out of fashion for more than 3,000 years, but it has possible practical applications in surveying, computer graphics and education. This is a rare example of the ancient world teaching us something new.”

The tablet predates Greek astronomer Hipparchus, who has long been regarded as the father of trigonometry. Mansfield’s colleague, Norman Widberger, added:

“Plimpton 322 predates Hipparchus by more than 1,000 years. It opens up new possibilities not just for modern mathematics research, but also for mathematics education. With Plimpton 322 we see a simpler, more accurate trigonometry that has clear advantages over our own.”

“A treasure trove of Babylonian tablets exists, but only a fraction of them have been studied yet. The mathematical world is only waking up to the fact that this ancient but very sophisticated mathematical culture has much to teach us.”

People were understandably excited by the news.

Some mathematicians actually think studying the Babylonians back then could help us improve the way we do trigonometry today.

Of course, there were the haters…

But all in all, Twitter users were pretty impressed with the Babylonians’ skills.

And they figured it out 3,700 years ahead of me…and counting.— Marty (@Marty) 1503631905

Congratulations to Dr. Mansfield and his team on their incredible discovery… and for making trigonometry exciting!

This article originally appeared on 07.10.21

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Instacart delivery person followed her instincts and ended up saving the life of a customer

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This “sixth sense” isn’t something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn’t right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn’t do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

“I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something,” Higgs said.


She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn’t shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he’d get them. That’s what Higgs would usually do.

“I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out,” she said. “He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You’re not supposed to go into someone’s house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You’re not supposed to, but I did. And you’re supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave.”

@jessicahiggs3

TikTok · Jessica Higgs

Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, “You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess.” Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man’s daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn’t doing well. “There’s a propane tank in there,” she told the woman. “I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There’s got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak.”

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

“Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking,” she wrote. “You definitely saved my dad and my younger son’s life!!!”

Through tears, Higgs said, “I’m just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I’m so happy I did.”

Higgs’ TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. “Cause even heroes need a vacation,” the company wrote.

@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 – cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy

Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, “You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕” Even TikTok itself wrote, “You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us.”

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she’s not “just an Instacart worker.” Her work is important, she’s providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn’t been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs’ heartfelt story touched millions, and she’s being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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Watch a rescued beaver meticulously build an indoor ‘dam’ out of random household items

The fact that beavers build dams is one of nature’s coolest features. Gathering and stacking tree branches, rocks, grass and mud across a river so they can build their homes underwater is a unique instinct among the animals—and a strong one.

Apparently, it’s so strong that beavers will build dams anywhere, including inside a human’s house using whatever items they can find.

A video shared by Dr. Holley Muraco, director of research at the Mississippi Aquarium, shows a female beaver named Sawyer busily gathering stuffed animals, blankets, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper and more to build a dam in a hallway, and it’s seriously the most delightful thing ever.


Sawyer pauses once in a while to assess her work, which is adorable. And her ongoing struggle with SpongeBob SquarePants’ legs is a must-see.

If you’re concerned about seeing natural animal behavior like this in an unnatural habitat, don’t worry. Muraco explains that Sawyer spends most of her time outdoors with other beavers, but also likes to come in the house occasionally. More on Sawyer’s life story below, but first, behold her adorableness at work:

Sawyer is one of three orphaned beavers Muraco is rehabbing at her home with the help of Woodside Wildlife Rescue.

“Sawyer is one of a kind,” Muraco tells Upworthy. “Very opinionated and, as crazy as it sounds, intelligent. I raised Sawyer on a bottle in our home and then introduced her to Huck and Finn who are a bit older. All three were orphaned separately when their parents were killed. The three were sent to Woodside Wildlife to be raised as siblings.”

Sawyer, Huck and Finn. Perfection.

Muraco says Sawyer started building dams in her kennel as a tiny baby and then moved on to building bigger dams in the hallway. She lives outside with Huck and Finn, but she walks to Muraco’s back door when she wants to go inside to check on things and build a new dam.

Muraco says beavers are very social creatures and do better living in a group, but are also one of the most difficult animals to rehab. They have to spend up to two years with rehabbers, which is how long they would spend with their parents in the wild, and caring for them is challenging due to their complex and sensitive digestive needs. They are also prone to illness and there’s a lot that’s still unknown about vet care for them. Muraco says beavers are also considered a nuisance animal, especially in Mississippi, so it can be hard to find a safe place to release them.

In Muraco’s care, Sawyer, Huck and Finn get ample opportunities to practice instinctive behaviors, which is a vital element of rehabilitation. The ultimate goal is for them to return to the wild once they meet key milestones.

Raising beavers is a lot of work, but Muraco is dedicated to preparing these young ‘uns for life after rehab, both for their own good and for the environment. “Beavers are a keystone species and are often critical for healthy wetlands,” she explains. They are misunderstood creatures and are sometimes killed by people who simply see them as pests, which is one reason Muraco publicly shares her adventures with Sawyer, Huck and Finn.

“We are so excited that people are enjoying watching the beavers and falling in love with this unusual, quirky rodent,” she says.

If anyone wants to support these beaver rescue efforts, Muraco invites people to donate to Woodside Wildlife Rescue.

This article originally appeared on 01.13.23

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Clever woman figured out how to get the name and address of the person who stole her credit card

There was a massive jump in credit card fraud in America in 2021 due to the pandemic. According to CNET, fraud involving credit cards jumped 69% from 2020 to 2021, affecting 13 million Americans and costing $9 billion.

In a world where online transactions are part of everyday life, it’s hard to completely protect your information. But, by staying vigilant and monitoring your accounts you can report fraud before it gets out of hand.

A TikTok user by the name of Lauren (@absolutelylauren) from San Diego, California, got a notification that there was a $135 charge on her card at Olaplex’s online store that she hadn’t made. Olaplex sells products that repair excessively damaged hair. Before reporting the charge to her credit card company she asked her family members if they used her card by mistake.

“I don’t wanna shut my card down if it’s just my mom ordering some shampoo,” Lauren said in the video. “Definitely not my two younger brothers, they’ve got good hair but they don’t color it.”


After realizing the charge was fraudulent, most people would have called their credit card company and had their card canceled. But Lauren was curious and wanted to know who stole her information and used it to buy hair care products. So she concocted a plan to get their information. She called Olaplex’s customer service line asking for the name and address of the purchaser to see if it was made by a family member.

“Hey, can you help me with something?” Lauren asked Tanya, the Olaplex customer service agent. “If I can give you the time and date, purchase amount and card number and whatever could you let me know who placed an order?”

Tanya had no problem helping Lauren with her request.

@absolutelylauren

olaplex customer service is top tier 😤 #creditcardscam

“At this point, I’m willingly giving Tanya enough info to steal my card as well — she could have very well taken advantage of me in that moment but she didn’t,” Lauren said. “She comes back — tell me why she gave me the little scammer their full government name and address.”

Tanya revealed that a guy named Jason in a modest suburb in Texas used her card to buy a gift for his wife. “They also did it on Black Friday so at least they got a deal I guess, it was the gift set,” Lauren continued.

Lauren then called her credit card company and shared the information she had on the fraudster. The card company is currently investigating the situation.

One commenter thought that Olaplex wasn’t supposed to share that information with Lauren. “For some reason, I don’t think olaplex was supposed to give that info,” Arae270 said.

“I definitely gave them the option, but I explained that it was an unauthorized purchase, and if the name did not match anyone that I knew that I would just tell them to cancel the order and refund me, I told the girl that they would probably save everyone, a headache!” Lauren replied.

People should use utmost caution before deciding to track down a credit card thief. But kudos to Lauren for being clever enough to track down the person who stole her card information to help the authorities with their investigation. She didn’t put herself in harm’s way and if someone follows up on the tip, maybe they can prevent the same thing from happening to someone else.

This article originally appeared on 1.11.23

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These dancers can decipher choreography by sound only and it’s mind-boggling

If there’s one thing people have collectively learned from shows like “So You Think You Can Dance?,” it’s that everyone is not born a dancer. When people who were gifted with rhythm and talent dance, it’s like poetry, with movements so fluid that you question if they’re somehow floating in water and choreography so complex and precise that you wonder if they’re actually robots. It’s beyond watching people move their bodies to the sound of music; it’s watching an artist paint a masterpiece with ease.

The LA Clippers dancers, Clippers Spirit, has turned things up a notch by challenging their dancers to copy the previously learned choreography by only using sound.

It sounds easy enough, but the catch is they’re not using the music associated with the choreography. The dancers are also not able to look at the dancer behind them, who is giving them the expected moves. They can only go by the sounds the hidden dancer’s feet and body are making.


It’s one heck of a dance exercise that requires a keen ear and extraordinary dance talent. The Clippers Spirit posts these choreography challenges to their Instagram page where you see some dancers knowing their limit and opting out. But for the ones that don’t, their ability to jump right in with the right moves is mind-boggling.

“I LOVE THE MOMENT WHEN THEY KNOW THEY HAVE THE CHOREO SO THEY GO 1000%,” one person says.

“Who’s the girl in blond at the end. Her moves (praise hands emoji),” someone writes.

“PLEASE Keep ’em coming because these are my favorite videos on this app,” another fan reveals.

It’s obvious these girls know their stuff because this challenge has to be one heck of a mental exercise. What an amazing skill level they have, and what a fun way to get the dancers warmed up before practice.

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Dirk Nowitzki Explained How He Developed His Iconic Fadeaway So He Could Score Easier As He Got Older

dirk nowitzki
Getty Image

Dirk Nowitzki is one of the greatest scorers the NBA has ever seen, as the Hall of Famer is sixth on the league’s all-time scoring list at 31,560 points, positioned on that list between Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain.

A whole lot of those points came by way of what became his signature shot, a one-legged fadeaway that he made famous and constantly drove defenders insane because it was just about unblockable. However, it wasn’t a shot he came into the league with, but was something he developed in the middle of his career. As he explained it recently on the All The Smoke podcast, he felt he’d lost a step and was getting crowded more, and didn’t want to deal with the physical grind of trying to rip through contact and work his way to the free throw line and tough buckets.

So, around 2010-11 — the Mavs championship season — he started tinkering with the one-legged fadeaway that would eventually become known simply as “the Dirk” and it worked well enough that it stuck and eventually got him immortalized doing that shot outside the Mavs arena.

I do always enjoy hearing all-time greats talk about these things as if they’re so simple and not really a big deal. It’s funny hearing Dirk give an “aw, shucks” routine about how one of the NBA’s most unstoppable shots was really just him being lazy and not wanting to fight through crowds anymore, so he just figured out how to shoot over them and create some space with his legs. Most great shooting big men now have “the Dirk” in their arsenal, but no one’s ever quite mastered the same touch that Dirk had with it. As he noted, it’s not a shot most coaches would encourage someone to take, but when done well and by the right person, it’s the kind of thing that can drive defenders crazy.

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No One Knows What Was Going On With Denise Richards During A Weed-Packed ‘Real Housewives’ Dinner

Denise Richards
Getty Image

Everyone knows that dinner parties in the Housewives universe are never a good sign, so the fine folks at Bravo decided to throw together some friends, enemies, weed edibles, and enough alcohol for a small army, just to see what would happen!

On a recent episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies were treated to some edibles, which Denise Richards refused. “I don’t wanna eat that stuff. I’ve smoked weed twice in my life, and I’m good. I’m not gonna say who I did that with,” she explained. So, in an effort to get on everyone else’s level, it seems like Richards substituted may have substituted alcohol for weed, and fans were… concerned? Or entertained.

Richards appeared to be going through the motions of a demonic exorcism and/or a lot of alcohol throughout these moments. As with any dinner table confrontation, things quickly got heated between two other attendees, and Richards continued with the silent but chaotic facial expressions.

The Tammy and the T-Rex actress was a regular on the show before exiting the series in 2020. Fans were a little disturbed by Richards antics, but who says you can’t sit at a table with a few of your enemies and act up? This is Bravo! She’ll be fine.

After the episode, Richards revealed she had a “cuckoo” time at dinner, so she seems over it by now.

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Why Are People Freaking Out About The Bathtub Scene From ‘Saltburn?’

Saltburn
MGM

Reactions to writer/director Emerald Fennell‘s Promising Young Woman follow-up, Saltburn, have been interesting, with The Guardian asking if it’s the most divisive film of the year and The Mary Sue wondering why so many men seem to hate it. To some, this upstairs/downstairs satire with Talented Mr. Ripley vibes hits the mark with a mix of obsession, outrageousness, and obnoxiously wealthy and pretty people. To others, the film comes off as a self-satisfied mess with an obvious twist that they totally saw coming. They really want you to know that they saw that twist coming.

The one scene everyone is talking about, whether they like or loathe the film, is the bathtub scene. What is its significance to the larger story and is it an over-the-top device conjured to spur controversy and attention for the film? We’re going to dive into those questions, but first let’s break down the scene in question, which starts with Jacob Elordi’s Felix Catton helping himself to, well, himself, during an oh-so-steamy and solitary soak in the tub while home for break with his ultra-rich family (Saltburn is the name of the English countryside manor where they reside), some hangers-on, and his much poorer friend and school mate, Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan).

Peering through the doorway of their shared bathroom (it’s a literal castle with 30 servants, but sure, there are shared bathrooms), Oliver is obviously captivated by the vision of Felix in the throes of self-love, but he’s been nursing an all-consuming obsession with more than a few obstacles in his way, so the voyeuristic pleasure of spying on Felix in the most private of moments must suffice. Until it can’t.

Once Felix is done with his splish-splash-splosion and out of range, Oliver enters the bathroom and begins to hover over the drain before pressing his lips to the cast iron tub (a guess) to get a taste of Felix’s bathwater, et al.

The implication is, of course, that tasting Felix (who is kind and flirty at times, but otherwise not interested) is as close as Oliver can get to being with him.

Fennell is doing a few things here: tagging an exclamation point onto Oliver’s consuming desires and asking the audience to be a voyeur and question any stirrings it unlocks as we watch this erotic act of total submission to Oliver’s sad, unfulfilled longings – slow and then complete.

It’s so easy to feel bad for Oliver in this moment (despite the obvious violation), even if you’re not quite able to conjure memories of unrequited love’s desperate influence or envision going to such slurpy lengths. There’s something in there you can relate to.

In Mike Ryan’s interview with Fennell for Uproxx, she spoke to the way the pandemic-prime era of isolation influenced this film that’s set in 2006: “[the] sort of longing to touch and what happens when you can’t touch the thing you want to touch, what that does to you. It makes you completely insane.”

Still, could you accomplish the same thing if Oliver had picked up Felix’s sweater and given it a whiff? No, Fennell clearly wanted to put us in a specific lane of thought with an act that, later, might have some more significance. But for that dissection, we need to throw up a big shiny spoiler warning for anyone who has not seen the film yet. Sorry.

For everyone else, let’s throw on some tiny demon horns and party.

As you know, this whole movie drives towards the realization that Oliver has been pulling strings and drugging angelic richlings to death. Lined up all nice and in a row, Felix, his sister Venetia (Alison Oliver), father Sir James (Richard Grant), and mother Elsbeth (Rosamund Pike), are all buried in the yard while Oliver has a dick-swinging dance fest in his freshly inherited castle, the product of burrowing into the family like some kind of parasite a little before and a lot after Felix was the first Catton to fall.

The preceding flashbacks tell the whole story about Oliver’s plan, how long he’d been working Felix, and the strings he pulled to get this result. A confession to Elsbeth on her deathbed is one more twist of the knife: Oliver both loved and hated Felix.

Jumping back to the bathtub scene, that act of slurping someone’s bathwater (+) feels more in the love/desire column, but when paired with the scene where Oliver luxuriates in fingering and going down on Venetia during her period and you see that he literally wanted to devour these people in every possible way. Actually shocked Fennell didn’t dive into literal cannibalism, but ya gotta save something for the sequel.

The scene with Oscar at Felix’s grave is another recurring point of discussion, and I kinda get it on the surface. It’s visually and emotionally powerful, a man denied the man he most desired and desperate from grief, pulling down his pants and having sex with the pile of dirt atop his would-be lover’s grave. But it’s also kinda confusing with what we know about Oliver’s actual wants.

As with the other supposedly over-the-top scenes, there are reasons that justify that (albeit big) choice. Maybe Fennell wants us to question the hierarchy between love and hate with regard to Oliver’s feelings toward Felix at the end while also waving a big red flag that indicates that Oliver is fully insane. Maybe she wanted to add a tinge of sadness to the triumphant naked dance party of one at the end. Or maybe that scene and the bathtub scene really are shocking for the sake of being shocking and sparking people to leave the theater with something to talk about. Either way, I’m good.

So many filmmakers paint by numbers, giving us what they (a big word encompassing many people) think we want. But it’s absolutely wonderful to be pushed out of our comfort zones either for narrative purposes or even just to drop a few jaws.

These sharp turns push some people out of the story, but it pulls others in closer. Because now we’re off the rails and less likely to slip into that mode. You know, the one where we lazily watch things thinking we already know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to happen because of how zapped our attention spans are and how samey our stories are. It feels like a loveless marriage between us and art, going through the motions, a murder-suicide with time. I hate that mode.

But Emerald Fennell gets it. All evidence from her work shows she’s more for the people who want to feel something — love, rage, befuddlement, whatever — when leaving a theater, enlisted in an army whose mission is to defend or even tear down a film. She’s willing to take chances and risk making you want to tear down her films because the story matters, not the response or what the response does for her career. It’s fantastic.

Being a provocateur and a good filmmaker aren’t mutually exclusive titles, sometimes they can be the same thing.

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‘Only Murders In The Building’ Is Getting The ‘Yellowstone’ Treatment On ABC

Only Murders In The Building
Hulu

After CBS struck ratings gold by airing old episodes of Yellowstone to fill gaps in its Fall lineup from the writer and actor strikes, ABC is pulling a similar move with Only Murders in the Building. The mystery series starring Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez has been a breakout hit for Hulu, so why not create some of that magic on ABC?

As of now, the plan is to only air Season 1 of Only Murders in two hour blocks consisting of three episodes, with the exception of the finale. Here’s the broadcast schedule:

Episodes 1-3: January 2, 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.
Episodes 4-6: January 9, 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.
Episodes 7-9: January 16, 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.
Episode 10: January 23, 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.

Both Hulu and ABC are owned by Disney, in case you were curious how any of this works. However, there will be a little bit of finagling to adjust for time slots and network codes.

Via Variety:

According to insiders, ABC will follow broadcast standards and practices rules on the episodes, and the network has been working with the show’s producers on edits that need to be made (likely, mostly language that runs afoul of FCC rules). In terms of timing, episodes will not be edited down. To fit the timeslot, credit windows will only air once a night, and recaps will only appear at the top of the night’s first episode after week one.

Of course, CBS only planned on airing the first season of Yellowstone until it became a ratings hit. With entertainment companies leaning back into the older, ad-based broadcast model, there is a chance Only Murders’ next two seasons could air on ABC, too. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing. Network television viewers deserve to see Paul Rudd eat a cookie, too.

RUDD
HULU

(Via Variety)