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Content warning: This article contains explicit descriptions of sexual assault.

Guns N’ Roses lead vocalist Axl Rose is alleged to have committed sexual assault in New York in 1989, according to a lawsuit filed by former Penthouse model Sheila Kennedy in New York Supreme Court on Wednesday, November 22. Rolling Stone obtained the lawsuit.

As per the lawsuit, Kennedy recalls meeting Rose when she was around 26 years old in 1989 at a New York nightclub. Rose is alleged to have “violently sexually assaulted” Kennedy in his hotel room on the night they met.

Rolling Stone provided additional details from that night from Kennedy’s lawsuit:

“At Rose’s hotel room, according to the suit, Rose plied the guests with cocaine, champagne, and other alcohol. After Kennedy went to the bathroom, Rose was allegedly waiting outside the door, and when she exited, Rose ‘pushed Kennedy against the wall and kissed her.’

‘Kennedy found Rose attractive and did not mind this encounter. She was open to sleeping with him if things progressed,’ the suit said. However, she says she did not consent to the alleged sexual encounter with Rose that would happen later that evening.”

The lawsuit goes on the give a blow-by-blow of what allegedly happened before the alleged sexual assault, including Kennedy witnessing Rose have sex with another model in an “aggressive” way that “appeared painful for the model” and made Kennedy “uncomfortable.”

At one point, Rose allegedly “was encouraging group sex” and got visibly and vocally angry at the model he’d had sex with, calling her a “wh*re.” Rose found Kennedy in Ricki Rachtman’s room and “allegedly pushed Kennedy down to the floor.”

Again, Rolling Stone provided the full context:

“‘While Kennedy was on the ground, Rose grabbed her by the hair and dragged her across the suite back to his bedroom,’ the suit said, adding that her knees were bleeding after they scraped the rug. When they got to his room, the suit alleged, Rose threw her on the bed onto her stomach, grabbed pantyhose and tied her hands behind her back.

“At that point, Kennedy, with her hands tied behind her back, was locked in the bedroom, bleeding, and vulnerable with Rose alone while he was in a sexual, volatile rage,’ the suit alleged. ‘Kennedy had just witnessed Rose violently have sex with another woman. He dragged Kennedy to his bedroom like a caveman and acted with uncontrolled fury. Rose had physically stopped her from leaving and locked her in. Kennedy was trapped.’ Rose then forcibly penetrated Kennedy’s anus with his penis, the suit alleged.”

As per People, Rose denied all allegations via a statement from his attorney, Alan S. Gutman.

“Simply put, this incident never happened,” Gutman said in a statement. “Notably, these fictional claims were filed the day before the New York State filing deadline expires. Though he doesn’t deny the possibility of a fan photo taken in passing, Mr. Rose has no recollection of ever meeting or speaking to the Plaintiff, and has never heard about these fictional allegations prior to today. Mr. Rose is confident this case will be resolved in his favor.”

As alluded to in Gutman’s statement, New York’s Adult Survivors Act expires at midnight (November 23). The law was enacted by New York Governor Kathy Hochul in May 2022 and, as explained by Billboard, “created a one-year window for alleged survivors to take legal action over years-old accusations that would typically be barred under the statute of limitations.”

The New York Post reports that “more than 2,600 lawsuits” have been filed under The Adult Survivors Act.

Also on Wednesday, a summons for Jimmy Iovine was filed in the Supreme Court of the State of New York County — alleging “sexual misconduct and abuse” dating back to August 2007 (as first reported by Pitchfork). Last week, Cassie filed a multi-pronged lawsuit against Diddy in Manhattan Federal District Court. Diddy denied the allegations but settled with Cassie within 24 hours.

A summons for Jimmy Iovine, who co-founded Interscope Records in 1990, was filed in the Supreme Court of the State of New York County on Wednesday, November 22. Pitchfork broke the news, relaying that Iovine is “being sued over sexual misconduct and abuse.” So far, only a summons has been filed, but a lawsuit will presumably follow. Iovine is being sued by a woman identified publicly as Jane Doe.

“Doe claims that she was ‘sexually abused, forcibly touched, and subjected to sexual harassment and retaliation’ in August 2007,” Pitchfork wrote. “The lawsuit against Iovine is for assault and battery, as well as violations of the New York City Victims of Gender-Motivated Violence Protection Act and the New York City Human Right Law.”

Billboard additionally reported that Jane Doe’s filing attorneys were Douglas Wigdor and Meredith Firetog of Wigdor Law. While sexual misconduct in August 2007 is specifically noted, Billboard clarified that Iovine is alleged to have engaged in “multiple instances” of abuse, and Jane Doe is “seeking economic and compensatory damages, punitive damages, attorneys’ fees and costs.”

Iovine headed up Interscope until leaving his post as chairman and CEO of Interscope Geffen A&M in August 2014 to join Apple later that year (as per Billboard at the time). In May 2014, Apple had announced its acquisition of Beats Electronics and Beats Music “for a total of $3 billion” from Iovine and Dr. Dre. Iovine departed Apple in 2018.

Last November, Bruce Springsteen inducted Iovine into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame as the recipient of the Ahmet Ertegun Award.

In November 2022, Jimmy Iovine was riding high — as he had mostly done since co-founding Interscope Records in 1990 — when Bruce Springsteen inducted him into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame as a recipient of the Ahmet Ertegun Award. Much can change in a year, as startling allegations against Iovine, 70, have surfaced this evening (November 22).

As first reported by Pitchfork, a summons has been filed in the Supreme Court of the State of New York County on behalf of a woman publicly identified as Jane Doe. The publication relayed that “the lawsuit itself is forthcoming,” but Iovine is being sued for “alleged sexual misconduct and abuse.”

Pitchfork‘s Evan Minsker continued, “Doe claims that she was ‘sexually abused, forcibly touched, and subjected to sexual harassment and retaliation’ in August 2007. The lawsuit against Iovine is for assault and battery, as well as violations of the New York City Victims of Gender-Motivated Violence Protection Act and the New York City Human Right Law.”

Shortly after Pitchfork broke the news, Billboard provided additional details:

“Though the full complaint is not yet available, a summons with notice was filed by the woman’s attorneys, Douglas Wigdor and Meredith Firetog at Wigdor Law. The case includes an accusation of ‘multiple instances’ of abuse along with a specific incident of sexual misconduct that occurred in New York in 2007. The woman is seeking economic and compensatory damages, punitive damages, attorneys’ fees and costs.

The case against Iovine is just the latest in a string of sexual misconduct lawsuits filed over the last month against men in the music industry, including industry executives like L.A. Reid and superstar artists like Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs and Axl Rose. The spike in cases is due to the looming expiration at midnight Thursday [November 23] of New York’s Adult Survivors Act, which created a one-year window for alleged survivors to take legal action over years-old accusations that would typically be barred under the statute of limitations. The summons effectively extends the deadline to submit a complete lawsuit.”

Iovine acted as Chairman and CEO of Interscope Geffen A&M until departing in August 2014 (as per Billboard at the time). Earlier that year, he and Dr. Dre sold their Beats Electronics and Beats Music to Apple “for a total of $3 billion,” Apple announced in May 2014. The acquisition “helped launch Apple Music,” as The New York Times put it in a December 2019 profile of Iovine.

Iovine retired from Apple in 2018.

Our family of five just got back from a nearly 3-week European vacation—three different cities in three different countries—and we only paid $149 cash per person for all of our flights combined.

It sounds too good to be true, but it’s not. It sounds like there’s got to be a catch, and there is, but not like you might think.

Welcome to the world of travel hacking, where if you learn to play the points and miles game well, you can take vacations you (or at least I) never thought possible.

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I started learning about the points and miles game in the fall of 2021 via the 10xTravel free course, and I started playing in earnest myself in February of 2022. As a result, in the past year and a half, our family has taken multiple flights and stayed at multiple hotels within the United States—including some schmancy resorts—for free or very close to free. (Certain taxes and fees on flights have to be paid in cash, so there’s no such thing as a 100% free flight.) But this trip to Europe was our first foray into international travel with points.

The one “catch” to travel hacking? It’s a complicated, strategic long game that takes time and effort to learn. But it’s totally worth it. The basic gist is that you maximize credit card sign-up bonuses to accumulate transferable credit card points or loyalty points/miles with hotels and airlines, all without spending any more money than you normally would. Then you learn how to redeem those points for travel, which makes them way more valuable than simply getting cash back.

I wrote an overview of how the game works in a previous article (which you can read here), but I figured a real-life example is the best illustration.

For this trip to Europe, I transferred 362,500 Chase Ultimate Rewards credit card points to United Airlines. (My husband and I have accumulated over 1.2 million points and miles in the past year and a half, so this trip was barely a third of our points.) That’s what all of our flights to, from and around Europe cost, plus one more flight paid for with Southwest points to get all the way home. The taxes and fees for all flights came out to $149 for each of us.

Our original itinerary was actually US > London > Athens > Tel Aviv > US, but obviously the Israel plans changed when the war began. We switched from Tel Aviv to Vienna for our music-loving kids just a couple of weeks before we departed. The flight from Vienna back to the US cost fewer points than the Tel Aviv to US flight, which made it so our added Athens to Vienna flight was covered by points we’d already spent. (We’d originally booked a one-way cash flight from Athens to Tel Aviv. That got refunded when the flight was canceled.) And thanks to United’s Excursionist Perk, our London to Athens leg also cost us zero points—we only paid taxes.

So what you see here are the fees we paid out of pocket for three flights—Spokane to London, London to Athens, and Vienna to Chicago (where we stopped to see family and friends for a few days on our way home). The Oct 15 “date of purchase” was actually the date we changed our Tel Aviv flight to Vienna—we purchased the original tickets months ago.

As you can see, the fees for these flights were $112 per person:

Here are the taxes and fees for the Athens to Vienna leg we added after the Israel changes, which were $31.40 per person:

Finally, to get back to Spokane from Chicago, we booked flights on Southwest. We have a ton of Southwest Rapid Rewards points accumulated from playing the game as well as two Southwest Companion Passes, which means two of our kids traveled with us for free (only paid fees on their flights—no points needed). So we paid 14,345 Southwest points x 3 (43,035 points total) and the fees were just $5.60 each, which brings us to our grand total of $149 per person.

To reiterate, we didn’t pay anything beyond our normal spending for the points we used to get these flights. We just strategically utilized new credit cards for all of our expenses every few months. Accumulating points is actually the simpler part of the game. Figuring how to find the best redemption deals for the points is where it gets complicated and the real work comes in.

It’s not like I just went on the United website, put in our dates and destinations, transferred the points and got the tickets. I spent many hours poring over different airline websites and different city combinations and dates to see where the best deals were. (We weren’t tied to particular cities or dates other than our religious pilgrimage to Haifa, which didn’t end up happening anyway.) It took a lot of time to find these tickets for the price we did, but again, totally worth it to save thousands of dollars.

If there weren’t as many of us, we could also have gotten hotels on points, but with a family of five it was more affordable to book Airbnbs where we were Europe. So it’s not like this vacation cost us nothing—we still had accommodations, public transportation, a car rental in Greece for exploring outside of Athens for a few days, food (pretty cheap in Greece, more expensive in the U.K. and Austria), and any museums, attractions and events we enjoyed.

But getting the flights for a song enabled us to do the rest. The cash price for the exact same flight itinerary would have cost between $6,000 and $9,000 for the whole family, especially since most of our flights were direct and at desirable times. Even if we were to see the 362,500 Chase points we used for their straight cash back value ($3,625), we still got a good deal. But those points didn’t cost us anything. And our family got to take the trip of a lifetime. Travel hacking for the win.

The curated perfection of social media—where every room, outfit and activity feel plucked straight out of a Pinterest board—can be a soothing escape from the messiness of real life.

But let’s face it—it’s easy to get oversaturated in this type of content. And after being constantly inundated with spotless kitchens and flawless faces and endless matcha-favoring morning routines, the aspirational easily becomes aggravating.

The rise of momfluencers can be a prime example of this. Sure, many mommy bloggers offer really helpful tips, product suggestions and doses of inspiration to their followers. But at the same time, they do push an ideal that doesn’t acknowledge the messy, chaotic reality that most moms experience everyday.

And that is exactly what one mom is fed up with.

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A woman named Elle (or @elledotmo on TikTok) recently shared how she was particularly tired of scrolling through her TikTok feed and finding nothing real, especially considering the app used to “be for people just being themselves and telling the truth about their lives.”

Here is what she’d like to see more of instead.

“I, as a mom, want to see people doing realistic mom things. I want to see what it’s like for you to like conquer the mountain of laundry that has been you know piling up for weeks, and you have literally no idea how you’re going to do it. Maybe you don’t even finish it, but that’s relatable because most of us don’t,” she said.

Another request: non aesthetic kitchens. Why? “Because even though we like to be minimalist there’s stuff everywhere all the time. Because who has time to wash the dishes, dry them, and actually put them away instead of just letting them sit on a dry mat on your counter for like a day and half?” Preach.

@elledotmo #stitch with @Nikki | inner thoughts only totally agree. #deinfluencing #nonaesthetic #nonaestheticmom #momvibes #momsover30 #momsbelike ♬ original sound – ✨ Elle ✨

Also: parents who have to get “creative” with their date nights since they don’t have family members to watch the kids, chaotic mornings of trying to get the kids ready for school and minivans covered with cracker crumbs.

The reason behind Elle’s desire isn’t to see “struggle or negativity” instead she explains. Rather, she feels that having relatable content is just as important.

“Most of us — due to the economy or just due to life stage that we’re in — are … not living these aesthetic perfect lifestyles where everything’s all soft and cozy and sounds nice and looks nice and smells nice all day. Most of us are just trying to figure out how to, like, survive in our routines the way that they are,” she says in the clip.

To that end, Elle doesn’t want to do away with mom influencers entirely, nor does she think they will ever go away. But she does think there can be a compromise.

“It would be great to see like people realistically showing us how that they’re doing that in ways that maybe we can make small tweaks in our lives to do it too or so that we can just like relate to one another and encourage one another,” she posits.

She definitely has some valuable points. And she’s clearly not the only one to want this type of content. Messy house tours have gone viral just as easily as videos of professionally designed homes. People want to be able to be inspired, but also feel seen. Luckily the internet is vast, and can cater to both needs.

According to an October 2023 Pew Research Center report, 61% of adults in the U.S. say that having close friends is an essential part of living a fulfilling life—a far higher percentage than those who say the same about being married (23%), having children (26%) or having a lot of money (24%). The research also found that having more friends is linked to being more satisfied with friendships in general. Approximately 81% of people with five or more close friends share they are “completely” or “very” satisfied with their friendships, while 65% of those with one to four close friends say the same.

But what does being satisfied with friendship even mean? What earns someone the label of “friend”? Or more importantly, what does it mean to be a good friend?

We asked our audience what makes someone a good friend, and the responses were interesting. Naturally, there were some common themes, but people also had some diverse ideas about what’s important in a friendship.

Some people shared short, sweet lists of traits that are essential in a friendship:

“Caring, loyal, kind and completely non-judgemental.” –Annika B.

“Trustworthy, loyal, supportive, flexible, patient, understanding. Caring.” – Jonathan S.

“Kind, helpful, supportive and honest.” – Marjorie M.

“Conversation and laughter. Kind and caring.” – Kathleen M.

“Unconditional love, laughter, and honesty.” – Molly H.

“When you are a better person with them than by yourself. And kindness ” – Gillian N.

“They know how to really listen without judging.” – Bernadette C.

Others offered a bit more detail:

“Being able to pick up where you left off even if some time has passed and it feels like no time has passed. Someone who will give you straight advice, but love you even if you don’t follow it.” – Melissa O.

“Someone you can talk honestly with, belly laugh with, but also just sit in silence with…knowing they just get you.” – Lori T.

“Someone non judgemental who loves you even when you’ve struggled to love yourself. Someone who loves you unconditionally despite your flaws.” – Sue H.

“Kind, supportive, dependable, wants to spend time together, someone you can laugh and cry with. There on your important days, and in your time of need. And you have to be all those things for them in return.” – Della D.

“They get you, allow you to be who you are, laugh with you, cry with you, no matter time or distance – you just pick up where you left off, they back you up – even when you’re not there to defend yourself.” – Zan M.

“Honesty, kindness, understanding, ability to disagree without anger, trust, willing to tell each other hard truth with love, forgiveness.” – Deborah H.

“They fill a need you have. There are many different kinds of friends. Childhood friends ,School friends, work friends, church friends etc…they all play a special role in your life.” – Elizabeth B.

And finally, some people offered specific details and personal anecdotes about their friendships:

“Sharing common interest and really caring about each other. listening is very important not just speaking to each other. My best friend of 60 years passed away a couple of years ago and I cannot tell you how much I miss her and her nonjudgmental friendship.” – Carole J.

“Someone who supports you publicly and tells you hard truths privately, who cheerleads your successes and empathises your lows, who trusts you and you them. Who loves you flaws and all – but all of this you reciprocate in being a good friend. Time flies together and even after months apart you pick up like it was yesterday. Who you want to tell your big news too and your bad news too first.” – Elsa P.

“Has great sense of humour, shared interests & values, compassionate, empathic, kind, doesn’t try to ‘fix’ me, doesn’t minimize my lived experiences as ‘not so bad,’ able to listen without judgment, and allows me to be there for them.” – Linda H.

“I don’t know, sometimes they just love you, even when you don’t want them too. You have to acknowledge them, they don’t ask for anything just want to be with you. I have a 30 yr friendship because she didn’t give up on me. I came to realize she was more forgiving and accepted me for just me. She’s not too kind, sometimes selfish but she’s there, when you get older you also accept and understand no one is perfect and if you get mad at everyone you might wind up without friends we start dying off or in old age homes. We are who we are, just love each other flaws and all. Annoying things find a way to keep friendship, not awful bad things. You guys know what I mean.” – Ney C.

“Someone who knows they can call you at 2 AM, and you can do the same. Someone you house and dog sit for, whose dogs come to greet you when they hear the garage door open and who happily sit on you. Someone that refused to let you pay for Lyft to get to chemotherapy appointments, but took you each time, checked on you afterwards, brought food knowing that you didn’t feel like cooking, visited to talk about all kinds of things, and just was there for you when you were feeling the considerable side effects of chemotherapy.” – Yaca A.

We all need people in our lives we can depend on, share our joys and sorrows with, and support in return. And if we have a hard time making friends, we can always rely on the wisdom of preschoolers to remind us of the basic building blocks of friendship.

On Wednesday evening, November 22, Pitchfork reported that Jimmy Iovine, co-founder of Interscope Records, is facing allegations of “sexual misconduct and abuse.” A summons was filed earlier in the day in Supreme Court of the State of New York County. The publication specified, “Only the summons has been filed; the lawsuit itself is forthcoming.” The woman filing is publicly identified as Jane Doe.

“Doe claims that she was ‘sexually abused, forcibly touched, and subjected to sexual harassment and retaliation’ in August 2007,” Pitchfork‘s Evan Minsker wrote. “The lawsuit against Iovine is for assault and battery, as well as violations of the New York City Victims of Gender-Motivated Violence Protection Act and the New York City Human Right Law.”

Billboard additionally relayed that the filing attorneys on Doe’s behalf are Douglas Wigdor and Meredith Firetog of Wigdor Law. Because only a summons has been filed, “the full complaint is not yet available.” However, Billboard was able to confirm the following: “The case includes an accusation of ‘multiple instances’ of abuse along with a specific incident of sexual misconduct that occurred in New York in 2007. The woman is seeking economic and compensatory damages, punitive damages, attorneys’ fees and costs.”

Iovine co-founded Interscope in 1990 and remained at the head of the label until his departure from Interscope Geffen A&M in May 2014 (as relayed by Billboard at the time). In 2006, Iovine and Dr. Dre co-founded Beats By Dr. Dre (more commonly known as Beats). They sold to Apple for a reported $3 billion in 2014 “and helped launch Apple Music,” as reported by The New York Times in December 2019.

Iovine retired from Apple in 2018. The 70-year-old was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame last November — receiving the Ahmet Ertegun Award.

The week around Thanksgiving is usually filled with stuff on the sports calendar. Wednesday, for example, features a metric ton of action in the worlds of the NBA and college basketball, while Thursday is traditionally viewed as the NFL’s day in the spotlight.

For now, though, there’s a ton of hoops happening, including some of the early season tournaments that are a staple of the college basketball calendar. The Bahamas are playing host to the annual Battle 4 Atlantis tournament, and on Wednesday, this meant that Michigan and Memphis squared off in a quarterfinal matchup. It’s a game that is going to end up being pretty notable because it included what might go down as the meanest things I’ve ever seen in my life on a basketball court , all thanks to Tigers guard Caleb Mills.

Mills brought the ball up the floor, where Michigan forward Olivier Nkamhoua was waiting for him. Mills decided to toy with him and got him off balance before he went between the legs and stepped back into a long two, all while Nkamhoua got crossed up and hit the deck. Poor Nkamhoua could only sit there and watch as Mills hit a jumper. But even if this shot didn’t go in, I feel like he should have been credited with two points, because this is nasty.

Hello, Thanksgiving! As always, Thanksgiving is not only a time for food and family, but also a time for NFL action. Three games are on the slate on Thursday and, for the first time ever, the NFL is also taking over Black Friday with a game in a national window. Of course, you are not legally required to bet on every single game (I know, I know), but we strive to bring value wherever it can be found. That often takes us to some ugly places, but Week 11 was profitable and, well, it would’ve been more profitable if not for the work of Cade Otton.

I digress but, before diving into the five picks for Week 12, let’s take a glance at the overall landscape.

• Week 11: 3-2
• 2023 Season: 29-23-3

Come get these winners.

Washington Commanders (+12.5) over Dallas Cowboys — Widely Available

Well, this is the only play we’re listing on Thanksgiving, and it may not be fun. However, the look-ahead number was 9.5 and it has ballooned all the way to 12.5 after Week 11’s results. I do understand why it happened, but that kind of move is unwarranted in my view. Washington is happy to sneak into the backdoor with a meaningless late score if needed, and this is just too many points.

TEASER: Cincinnati Bengals (+7.5) over Pittsburgh Steelers and Cleveland Browns (+7.5) over Denver Broncos — FanDuel

I’m mortified by the inclusion of Jake Browning in a teaser, but bear with me. The Steelers haven’t won a game by more than seven points all season, and while Pittsburgh did (finally) move on from Matt Canada, that doesn’t fix everything in less than a week. It’s a division game with a total in the mid-3o’s for good measure. From there, Cleveland is facing a Denver team that is walking through the rain drops with insane turnover luck as of late. The Browns have the best unit in this game with their defense and, again, this is a line moving through key numbers with an extremely low total.

Indianapolis Colts (-2.5) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Widely Available

The Colts are coming off a bye, and the Bucs got banged around by the 49ers last week. Tampa Bay has also played six straight weeks, and the underlying metrics solidly favor Indy in this matchup. As noted above, we almost got home with the Bucs last week, but it’s time to fade in a tough spot for Tampa.

Buffalo Bills (+3.5) over Philadelphia Eagles — DraftKings

I’ve already seen this referred to as a “fishy” line in multiple places this week. After all, the Eagles are 9-1 and the Bills are 6-5, so how does this line make sense in Philadelphia? Well, the oddsmakers are seeing the same thing that I’m seeing in that Buffalo remains undervalued. Make no mistake, Philadelphia is quite good, but they’ve been quite fortunate in two or three of their victories. If you can nab the hook, take it.

TEASER: Los Angeles Rams (+7.5) over Arizona Cardinals AND Kansas City Chiefs (-2.5) over Las Vegas Raiders — FanDuel

We’ve had the Rams a few times of late, and I remain higher than the market on Los Angeles. Now, they are facing an Arizona team that I’m having trouble buying. Kansas City is the only favorite I like as a teaser leg this week, and despite a short week, the Chiefs should take care of business in the desert.

Pumpkin pie is one of those Thanksgiving dinner dishes that can get pretty divisive. The whole pumpkin spice craze of the last 20 years (yes folks, it’s been that long) hasn’t helped either. Pumpkin pie — at its core — is a celebration of a roasted gourd spiced up by fall/winter spices with a creamy and soft texture. Then there’s a pie crust with a nice crunch, savoriness, and butteriness to it, adding more flavor and texture.

Sounds good, right? It is… when it’s done right.

Sadly, it’s a very easy pie to screw up — especially when corners are cut for efficiency and cost. Case in point, prepared grocery store pies have massive swings in quality. Even in our blind taste test and ranking of grocery store pies, the winning pumpkin pie didn’t seem to be that great. Uproxx’s Dane Rivera had this to say about the current champ, “My only real knock against this pie is the crust. It’s a bit too soft and doesn’t serve as a big enough contrast to the silkiness of the filling.”

The gist is that when you’re not baking from scratch at home, you’re going to have to be okay with some shortcomings. Nothing Dane ranked seemed to leave him blissed out.

If you have time, we think you should take the hour to bake a pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving (oh, look — here’s a great recipe to do just that). But what if you don’t have time? Well, after Dane’s ranking, we got a whole lot of emails and comments about Costco’s colossal pumpkin pie. People wanted to know where it lands in the grand scheme of things. So I dutifully purchased Dane’s favorite grocery pumpkin pie from Trader Joe’s and pitted it in a side-by-side tasting with Costco’s truly huge pumpkin pie.

The results were striking — let’s dive right in.

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Part 1 — The Battle: Costco Vs. Trader Joe’s

2. Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pie

Price: $6.99 (27 oz.)

The Pie:

Trader Joe’s pumpkin pie has a brownish hue with a clear sense of spices in the filling (you can see the dark brown dots). The crust is fancy on the edges and very thick. I want to call this pie “small” but that’s only because it’s sitting next to a massive Costco one.

The pie also has a bold aroma of pumpkin spice. The moment you take it from the box, it hits you with a lot of pumpkin spices — kind of like a pumpkin spiced latte from Starbucks. I don’t think this is an accident.

Overall, you should be able to get six slices from this pie, which is a good size overall.

Tasting Notes:

Pie Filling: The filling really smells of pumpkin spice lattes. The texture is softer at first but then gets a little gummy on the third and fourth chew. The actual taste is pumpkin spice only. There’s no sense of pumpkin at all on the palate. By the end, the filling was like chewing pumpkin spice creamy gum.

Crust: Crust? What crust? I’m only half kidding. The crust was dense yet gummy and almost completely blank of flavor besides a whisper of salt. The crimped rim had a bit of a crunch to it but that’s me being very generous. The underlayer of crust was just gummy to the point of almost being annoying to chew.

Bottom Line:

If this is the best “grocery store pumpkin pie” … the others must have been complete dumpster fires. Poor Dane, what have me made him submit himself to! There’s no taste of pumpkin whatsoever.

1. Costco Pumpkin Pie

Price: $5.99 (58 oz.)

The Pie:

Fifty. Eight. Ounces. That means that you can easily get 12-16 servings from this pie. So right out of the gate, this pie wins major points for feeding a big crew or family.

Okay, let’s get into the pie. The color is a nice brownish orange — a burnt orange if you will. The crust isn’t overly fancy or crimped but it’s there.

The key is that when you pop the container open you get a nose full of roasted pumpkin that has been spiced. Like real, actual pumpkin.

Tasting Notes:

Pie Filling: The filling is moist and has a little give to it. It’s kind of halfway between a flan and crème brûlée in consistency thanks to a moment of airiness. The actual taste is roasted pumpkin forward with a nice layer of savory pumpkin that’s been spiced with nutmeg, allspice, and cinnamon. There’s nothing as bold as clove or anise but there is a mild sharpness to the spice.

Plus, it feels real. I mean that in that it feels like real pumpkin and actual spices were used instead of a mix (or can).

Crust: The crust is thinner, which works here. There’s a nice butteriness to the crimped rim with a good pinch of salt countered by a moment of white sugar. The under crust is thin and kind of gets lost for the most part. It does provide a faint textural layer but not much. At the very least, it tastes like real pie crust with butter and salt and not just white flour.

Bottom Line:

Overall, this tastes like real-deal pumpkin pie. And that’s why Costco’s Pumpkin Pie runs away with this battle. There’s almost no comparison between the two.

Part 2 — Final Thoughts on the Pumpkin Pies

Okay, while I am dragging Trader Joe’s pie pretty hard, I do get it. It’s made for folks who want “pumpkin spice” pie. It’s a latte in a neutral pie crust. And I fully appreciate that it beat a whole mess of middling pies in the blind tasting. But there’s still little to no “pumpkin” in that equation. Then there’s the mouthfeel. The Trader Joe’s pie is gummy. The Costco pie is lush by comparison.

In the end, the Costco pie wins on every front and that’s before you even get to how much more you’re getting for one dollar less in price. I think it might be time for y’all to pull that trigger and get a Costco membership if you want to buy the best storebought pumpkin pie. Or, y’know, just bake your own and make this conversation moot in an instant.