Warning: Spoilers for ‘Gen V’ episode six are below.
Gen V just revealed its endgame and boy, is the superhero community in trouble.
In episode six’s “Jumanji,” the group takes an unwelcome trip down Cate’s memory lane, navigating mind-wiping potholes and more than a few shocking revelations as they work to forgive her of her many trespasses and get the hell out of her head. Meanwhile, Sam and Emma reconnect in the strangest way possible while Dean Shetty enacts her ultimate evil plan — to give every supe a deadly case of chicken pox.
Here is where our f*cked up leaderboard sits after episode three.
6. Muppet Sex
Like man’s capacity for violence and the growing cost of ethically sourced avocados, Gen V’s appetite for weird, kinky sex scenes should not shock us at this point. We’ve witnessed cocksplosions, orgasmic marathons via human vibrators, and size differentials that defy the laws of nature – a woman turning into a Muppet mid-coitus is pretty on brand. It’s also a real mood killer, not for Sam or Emma who seem to enjoy their hook-up despite the doll transmutations, but certainly for us.
5. The Return Of Golden Boy
Luke Riordan’s blaze of glory going out party happened too soon in the season, so it was nice to get a glimpse of Golden Boy again – even if it’s just a figment of Cate’s collapsing psyche. His problems with Brink apparently ran deep, as did his knowledge of Andre’s sextracurricular activist with his girlfriend.
4. Cate’s Past
When it comes to misunderstood superheroes, there’s Wanda Maximoff, Cate Dunlap, and then everybody else. As her brain implodes, her friends are treated to a greatest hits montage of the most depressing, self-esteem-destroying moments in her young life. Her brother’s disappearance, her mother’s fear, abuse, and imprisonment, and Dean Shetty’s manipulation when she was at her lowest all play on a loop. It doesn’t absolve Cate of her role in what’s happened, but it does entitle her to go full Scarlet Witch in the Multiverse of Madness on Godolkin University and its crooked staff.
3. Jordan’s Betrayal
Jordan’s been reckoning with their duality all season long but when Cate’s memories hold a mirror to their own, the source of their inner conflict becomes clear. This is a gender-fluid supe raised to be extraordinary who constantly felt like they were disappointing the adults in their life because of their inability to exist in a binary construct. They’re a coward for helping Brink to sedate and irate Golden Boy, and they’re an opportunist for using the situation to advance their ranking at Godolkin, but when the nurturing is that emotionally abusive for that long, the nature just isn’t going to win out.
2. That Soldier Boy Cameo
The only thing better than witnessing a gruff-voiced Jensen Ackles return in a Soldier Boy costume is finding out just what the hell he’s doing in this episode of Gen V. As Cate’s imaginary boyfriend, he could be a guide to the group who are desperate to escape the crumbling ruins of her mind but, in true Soldier Boy fashion, he’s more concerned with making sure the f*cknuts appreciate his wide catalog of sex terms. “Diddle that skittle.” “Flick the bean.” “Find the man in the canoe.” However you want to put it, it was Soldier Boy who ushered in Cate’s sexual awakening and don’t you forget it. (Well, Soldier Boy, and the Jonas Brothers.)
1. Dean Shetty’s Endgame
Dean Shetty has been quietly puppeteering much of the chaos the students have been sorting through this season but “Jumanji” we finally understand the reason why: she wants to kill all supes. Her work in The Woods, her manipulation of Marie, maybe even her experiments on Sam and Golden Boy – they’re all in service of a greater purpose, to rid the world of super-powered individuals via a genetically modified plague that leaves them boiled, blistered, and very, very dead. If only we could look to pop culture history to see how epidemic-engineering scientists hoping to eradicate a particular species had fared.
The Yellowstone stable of shows sits in an unusual, somewhat ambiguous place at the moment, even as Peacock and CBS reap the benefits of reruns. Granted, Taylor Sheridan has many other shows on his current roster, and 1923 will be going strong for a second season, at least. That’s great news for those who love Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren together, but what else will happen for Dutton soap-opera addicts? 6666 is in the works and will bring us the stories of the cowboys who work at the 6666 Ranch in Texas. Obviously, these will be fictionalized and soap-opera-esque stories, although Sheridan does now own the legendary real-life ranch in question. As well, the back end of Yellowstone Season 5 will (eventually) conclude the flagship series while spinoff-mode continues.
The future is bright for Sheridan-land, but it’s also worth looking back on how he got here. The prolific writer and former actor previously told us how he “became fascinated with the development of story” during his time on Sons Of Anarchy, in which he “was friends with a number of the writers on that show.” Sheridan, of course, portrayed Deputy Hale, who was the more straight-nosed cop of the department, although he was found to have that nose in certain ATF-related places (under a desk) at times. Still, this was a gig that was not destined to last for the show’s full run.
Deputy Hale ended up unequivocally dead in Season 3 during Half Sack’s wake (RIP) when he got trounced by a van (RIP) during what was essentially a funeral shootout. This, as Sheridan told The Hollywood Reporter over the summer, was a “f*ck-you car crash.” He made this point in relation to how Kevin Costner’s John Dutton would be leaving the show, but it’s also worth digging a bit further into that SOA conflict. As part of Deadline’s “Disruptors” series, Mike Fleming once reported how Sheridan realized that he needed to leave Sons Of Anarchy after an attorney allegedly belittled him and said that being “11 on the call sheet” is “all he’s ever going to be.” Oh boy:
“When my attorney said, ‘Look, there are kids on the Cartoon Network making more than you’re offering this guy,’ this jerk business affairs attorney goes, ‘He probably deserves to make more, but we’re not going to pay him more, because guess what? He’s not worth more. There are 50 of him. He is 11 on the call sheet. That’s what that guy is and that’s all he’s ever going to be,’” Sheridan recalls. “That’s really when I quit [because] that’s how the business saw me: ‘Let’s replace him with someone cheaper.’ And I decided that I didn’t want to be 11 on the call sheet for the rest of my life.”
Well, Taylor Sheridan certainly managed to prove that he’s no longer low on a call sheet. In fact, he went on to pen Sicario and Hell Or High Water, which put him on the path he’s on now — in league with Shonda Rhimes and Ryan Murphy in terms of TV empires and being able to gleefully create whatever he wants at will and get it greenlit. And hey, there was obviously a vacancy in the cowboy-content market that Sheridan was particularly well-suited to fill.
At the time of his SOA departure, Sheridan did stay diplomatic on Deputy Hale’s death. The now TV king then declared to the LA Times, “As far as deaths on that show go, it was about as merciful as I can remember.” He also added, “It was fitting to Hale that he went out in battle without any regard or awareness.”
And the rest was glorious, horse-wrangling history for Taylor Sheridan.
The Conjuring franchise has been expanding for some time, and nine movies in, it seems like they have finally found their groove in the form of a demonic nun. Catholic guilt is really a driving factor in cinema these days.
The Nun II is the sequel to 2018’s horror filmThe Nun starring Taissa Farmiga, Demián Bichir and Jonas Bloquet, and Bonnie Aarons. The movie takes the spooky nun that was first introduced in The Conjuring 2, so you see how these all connect right? Not only that, but The Conjuring stars Taissa’s sister Vera Farmiga, so it’s a whole family affair.
The sequel hit theaters in September and takes place in 1956, four years after the events of The Nun took place. It follows Farmiga as Sister Irene who must stop the spooky nun from possessing a bunch of boarding school kids. Again!!
The Nun II is currently available on Amazon Prime for purchase or rental, but if you’re not that committed yet, you can stream the sequel on Max beginning on October 27th. It will be available just in time to be playing in the background of whatever Halloween shindig you’re going to. Even if that shindig is just you alone in your house afraid that there might be demonic nuns outside your window waiting to take you. These are normal thoughts.
Drake’s birthday is coming up and for the second year in a row, Mr. October’s Very Own is giving fans the gift of free food via the Dave’s Hot Chicken chain (in which Drake is an investor). The chicken chain, which started in California but has since expanded to Colorado, Florida, Illinois, New York, and more, has quickly become a fast food favorite, and Drake’s involvement has certainly been at least a factor in its growing popularity (check out Uproxx’s rating of their sandwiches here).
How To Get Free Dave’s Hot Chicken On Drake’s Birthday
On Monday, October 24, you can get a Dave’s Hot Chicken slider or tender at every Dave’s Hot Chicken from 11 am to 9 pm local time. You’ll just need to download the Dave’s Hot Chicken app and scan it at the counter. Unfortunately, you will have to go to the restaurant, as this offer isn’t available online or through third-party delivery apps like DoorDash, GrubHub, or Uber Eats.
It’s probably fair to say that Drake’s had a pretty solid year since last October 24, when he turned 36. He had a highly successful tour with 21 Savage, dropped another album, For All The Dogs, and even released a book of poetry. So what will he do for his 37th year? Take a break, apparently. He’s certainly earned one.
Jon Stewart fans got a hefty helping of bad news on Thursday. The comedian’s new series, The Problem with Jon Stewart, will not be moving forward with its third season. The show strived to do something than Stewart’s old gig at The Daily Show by taking a deeper dive into singular topics and only releasing episodes once every two weeks. While that approach took a while to catch on, The Problem did break through the cultural zeitgeist in its second season thanks to Stewart’s unrelenting interview style where he pushed back on anti-trans and pro-gun legislators.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, both Apple and Stewart had agreed to a more aggressive weekly episode drop for the third season. However, things went south when Apple started voicing concerns over the show tackling China and AI, which prompted Stewart to walk:
Sources tell THR that there had been tension between Apple and Stewart ahead of the show’s third season return over topics featured on The Problem. Those same sources note that Apple approached Stewart and informed the host that both sides needed to be “aligned” regarding topics on the show. Stewart, sources say, balked at the idea of being “hamstrung” by Apple, which threatened to cancel the series. Stewart, sources say, wanted to have full creative control of the series and, after Apple threatened to cancel the series, told the tech company that he was walking away from the show rather than have his hands tied.
Naturally, Stewart fans can’t help but notice the timing of the comedian walking away from The Problem. For the past few weeks, The Daily Show has been publicly having issues settling upon a new permanent host to replace Trevor Noah, and look who just became available.
I’m sure I’m not alone in the thought that it’d be pretty cool to see Jon Stewart announced as the new permanent host of The Daily Show. It’s probably better for all involved if he just does his own new thing, but seeing him at the desk for an election would be pretty awesome.
Of course, it should be noted that The Daily Show has been looking for a new host for an entire year now. The timing of Stewart leaving The Problem is almost definitely a coincidence.
That being said, is there a chance Stewart could come back to The Daily Show? Sure, anything is possible, but the comedian has repeatedly stated his intentions to do something different after feeling worn out by the grind of four episodes a week. We wouldn’t recommend holding your breath.
Meyers grilled John McCain’s daughter (a fun fact that she never brings up) over comments she made linking tweets made by Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, which she “unequivocally apologized” for after some deemed them to be anti-Semitic, to the Poway synagogue shooting. “Don’t you think other people who talk about her need to be a little more thoughtful, as well?” he asked the then-The View co-host. “Or do you stand by those comments of tying her rhetoric to the synagogue shooting?” McCain denied that’s what she was doing, later accusing a confused Meyers of working as Omar’s publicist.
Again, uncomfortable.
McCain brought up the interview this week on her Meghan McCain Has Entered the Chat podcast during a chat with Senator Ted Cruz, who definitely drinks beer like a normal human being. “Speaking of late-night stuff, I went on Seth Meyers and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, truly,” she said. McCain then brought up tweets made by her husband, Ben Domenech, calling Meyers an “untalented piece of sh*t” who, well, I’ll let her take it from here.
“My husband tweeted that the only reason he had a show was that he gargled [Late Night executive producer] Lorne Michaels’ balls,” McCain continued. “It was a horrific experience, and he can go to hell forever.”
It may be spooky season, but what’s really scary is we’re just a couple of months away from 2024, which means election season is right around the corner. The future sure does look anxiety-inducing, as well, with a field made up of conspiracy kooks, criminals, and a pack of old codgers who haven’t kept up with pop culture or technology for the past 30 years.
But there’s one bright spot; one of the more terrifying potential has just given up his presidential ambitions. According to Rolling Stone, Kanye West’s lawyer Bruce Marks recently confirmed, “[Kanye’s] not a candidate for office in 2024.”
If you’re religious, say a little prayer to whichever deity you desire giving thanks for small favors.
Apparently, West’s campaign committee filed an update with the Federal Election Commission that also shows that its treasurer has taken over from right-wing social media influencer Milo Yiannopoulos and the committee’s expenditures have all but dried up, with only $25,000 on hand. It sure looks like Kanye 2020 is closing up shop, with no intentions of rebranding for 2024.
Of course, West’s 2020 campaign was infamously slipshod, with required docs being filed days or even weeks late and shady sourcing for much of its funding. Kanye didn’t even appear to be all that engaged, aside from giving an impassioned — and concerning — campaign speech at a darn near impromptu rally.
Rolling Stone has a more in-depth profile of Kanye’s supposed plans for a 2024 presidential bid from the past three years, but honestly, it’s probably best if we all move on from this fiasco as quickly as possible and try to remember that celebrities generally make terrible heads of state when the time comes to choose our next one.
1989 (Taylor’s Version) is out 10/27 via Republic Records. Find more information here.
Tracklist
1. “Welcome To New York (Taylor’s Version)”
2. “Blank Space (Taylor’s Version)”
3. “Style (Taylor’s Version)”
4. “Out Of The Woods (Taylor’s Version)”
5. “All You Had To Do Was Stay (Taylor’s Version)”
6. “Shake It Off (Taylor’s Version)”
7. “I Wish You Would (Taylor’s Version)”
8. “Bad Blood (Taylor’s Version)”
9. “Wildest Dreams (Taylor’s Version)”
10. “How You Get The Girl (Taylor’s Version)”
11. “This Love (Taylor’s Version)”
12. “I Know Places (Taylor’s Version)”
13. “Clean (Taylor’s Version)”
14. “Wonderland (Taylor’s Version)”
15. “You Are In Love (Taylor’s Version)”
16. “New Romantics (Taylor’s Version)”
17. “‘Slut!’ Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]”
18. “Say Don’t Go (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]”
19. “Now That We Don’t Talk (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]”
20. “Suburban Legends (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]”
21. “Is It Over Now? (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]”
Swift hasn’t formally released any 1989 (Taylor’s Version) singles to radio, but there have been snippets and singles laying the groundwork for the album. In early 2022, “This Love (Taylor’s Version)” was debuted in the trailer for the Amazon Prime Video series The Summer I Turned Pretty. That came roughly a year after Swift lent “Wildest Dreams (Taylor’s Version)” to Spirit Untamed(and TikTok).
On top of the official 1989 (Taylor’s Version) cover art, Swift has unveiled several alternative covers and promotional photos. Check some of them out below, and see all of the options here.
Tour
While Swift’s Taylor Swift: The Eras Tourconcert film is smashing box-office records, Swift will resume its titular The Eras Tour on November 9 at Estadio River Plate in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Swift (and her opener, Sabrina Carpenter) will play nine shows in Argentina and Brazil in November, and then The Eras Tour will resume (again) in Tokyo, Japan on February 7, 2024. The international leg is scheduled through August 2024 before Swift stages a second North American leg next October and November. See all dates here.
We’re officially just one week away from Taylor Swift’s latest rerecorded album, 1989 (Taylor’s Version), which is set for release on October 27. As the project approaches, fans have plenty of questions, including:
What are the “From The Vault” tracks on 1989 (Taylor’s Version)?
Swift unveiled those in September, after fans solved thousands of puzzles on Google as part of the rollout campaign. The five “From The Vault” songs are “”Slut!”,” “Say Don’t Go,” “Now That We Don’t Talk,” “Suburban Legends,” and “Is It Over Now?.” In particular, fans got excited about “”Slut!”.”
Check out the full 1989 (Taylor’s Version) tracklist below.
1. “Welcome To New York (Taylor’s Version)”
2. “Blank Space (Taylor’s Version)”
3. “Style (Taylor’s Version)”
4. “Out Of The Woods (Taylor’s Version)”
5. “All You Had To Do Was Stay (Taylor’s Version)”
6. “Shake It Off (Taylor’s Version)”
7. “I Wish You Would (Taylor’s Version)”
8. “Bad Blood (Taylor’s Version)”
9. “Wildest Dreams (Taylor’s Version)”
10. “How You Get The Girl (Taylor’s Version)”
11. “This Love (Taylor’s Version)”
12. “I Know Places (Taylor’s Version)”
13. “Clean (Taylor’s Version)”
14. “Wonderland (Taylor’s Version)”
15. “You Are In Love (Taylor’s Version)”
16. “New Romantics (Taylor’s Version)”
17. “”Slut!”” (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)”
18. “Say Don’t Go (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)”
19. “Now That We Don’t Talk (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)”
20. “Suburban Legends (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)”
21. “Is It Over Now? (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)”
22. “Sweeter Than Fiction (Taylor’s Version)” (“Tangerine Edition” bonus track)
1989 (Taylor’s Version) is out 10/27 via Republic Records. Find more information here.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE – “Suits Universe” would also be a good name for a Men’s Wearhouse competitor but that’s not the point
The Suits thing is still strange to me. Like, there was this show I watched on USA a decade ago, and it was fine, and then many years passed, and then it slid over to Netflix, and now it’s the biggest show in the world. Like, it’s set numerous records for a streaming series. And one of its characters married an actual prince, like one of Princess Diana’s kids. It’s been a wild ride for all of us, really. Especially the cast of Suits, though, I bet. That’s gotta be a weird experience for them.
But yes, to the shock of pretty much no one who knows how these things work, there is now more Suits coming. The creator, Aaron Korsh, a former investment banker who became a television writer and has episodes of Just Shoot Me and Everybody Loves Raymond on his resume, and who has apparently not been doing much since Suits ended in 2019, signed a deal to expand the Suits universe pretty substantially. It’s probably been a weird summer for him, too.
But this is where it all gets fun. The new stuff isn’t going to take any of the old characters and update viewers on the various comings and goings. No, this is going to be bigger and odder than any of that. We really are creating a Suits Extended Universe.
This is not a revival or reboot and, unlike the 2019 Pearson, the new legal procedural is not a spinoff either — it would be a Suits universe series in the vein of the CSI and NCIS franchises featuring new characters in a new location, sources said. I hear Los Angeles is a backdrop considered for the workplace drama.
So, a few things worth noting here, all of them equally important to me…
The first is that this is all just very funny and kind of cool to me, for a lot of the reasons I already outlined in the intro. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the world became obsessed with Suits. Not Burn Notice. Not White Collar. Not Royal Pains. Suits. I am very happy for everyone involved. Good for them for striking while the iron is hot.
The second thing is that, while I don’t know what these new shows will look like, it is going to be fun to picture the other characters just, like, existing somewhere else while all the action is taking place. I hope they just casually reference them in the other show once or twice a season, just to maintain continuity. “Wow, this is just like the big case Harvey Specter is working on in New York.” And then, blammo, right back to work.
And finally, while writing this I remembered Katherine Heigl showed up in Suits for a bit and now I need her to show up in every show in the Suits universe just to deliver this line.
All Michael Schur has ever done is make cool stuff I like. He was a creative voice in the earlier seasons of The Office before things got sketchy and memed into oblivion. He created Parks and Recreation and The Good Place, two all-timer network sitcoms. He was the executive producer of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, another great network sitcom that introduced the world to Silly Andre Braugher, which I don’t think anyone even realized was possible until it existed and delighted us all. And before all or most of that, he was the main pseudonymous voice behind Fire Joe Morgan, still the greatest baseball blog ever created.
That’s why I was so excited when Peacock announced that he was making a comedy based on the movie Field of Dreams. And it’s why I was so bummed when Peacock announced that they were pulling the plug on the series, after the titular field had been constructed, which… I mean, it is a little funny that the movie that had “if you build it, they will come” as its most famous quote spawned a television show where they built it and then… nothing happened.
Anyway, good news and bad news. Good news: My goldfish brain had forgotten most of this until earlier this week. Bad news: Schur appeared on Pablo Torre’s very good podcast to discuss it all and now I’m a little mad again. Look at this. Or at least listen to it.
In 2021, Peacock hired writer/producer Mike Schur to create a seven-episode “Field of Dreams” reboot before it was eventually cancelled. The details:
“Andre Braugher was going to play James Earl Jones’ role, Kristen Bell was going to be in it. Nick Offerman was going to be… pic.twitter.com/mXlx2zJ5pY
To recap: One of our best and most creative television minds was making a show about one of our most beloved sports movies, and said it was the best thing he had ever written, and it was going to star William Jackson Harper and Kristen Bell from The Good Place, and it was going to feature Andre Braugher in a role inspired by an iconic performance by James Earl Jones, and Peacock killed it before it could get made but after they got my hopes up.
Torre interviewed the Iowans whose farm was used for the set and even they were excited about it all. Then NBC intervened, burning down the dreams if not the field itself.
“That’s the saddest part of this,” Schur said. “We went as far as you can possibly go without actually doing the thing that we set out to do.”
While emphasizing TV shows get axed all the time, Schur explained how the physical presence of the field and the symbolism of abandoning makes this story unique.
“We built it and they didn’t get the chance to show up,” Schur joked.
In lieu of further comment and in an attempt to keep my heart rate in the double digits, I will give the final word here to Andre Braugher’s character from Brooklyn Nine-Nine instead of typing a lot of swear words.
FOXFOXFOX
Dammit.
That didn’t work.
I’m just more angry now.
Nevertheless.
ITEM NUMBER THREE – Hey, speaking of baseball…
In other news involving both baseball and television… how about those Phillies? Regular readers know that I’m a passionate — read as “disturbed” — Philadelphia sports fan. The Phillies are currently making a fun little run through the playoffs. I convinced our very patient sports team to let me write about it a few weeks ago and, hey, look at this, I’ve found an excuse to jam it into my column about the world of entertainment, too. A great stretch for me.
Short version: The gang from Always Sunny, or at least 60 percent of it (Rob McElhenney, Kaitlin Olson, and Charlie Day) showed up at one of the playoff games this week. Look at these goofballs.
This is not the first time the show and the Phillies have crossed paths, as the video at the top of this section and a quick Google search of “always sunny chase utley” will reflect
Go Phillies
I’m just going to go ahead and sneak in this video of Eagles players D’Andre Swift and Terrell Edmunds at one of the games this week because I really can’t contain myself once I start talking about my Philly sports teams
Best-selling mystery writer Mallory Dearborn (Alex Camacho) wants to end her long-running detective franchise, against the wishes of her manager Michael (Matthew Pohlkamp). In a desperate move, he decides to take her prisoner. After convincing the world she’s died, he forces her to write a posthumous novel over the holidays.
This is really just an incredible job by everyone, starting with the title itself and plowing straight through those three beautiful sentences. I’ve never been more excited to watch a Lifetime original movie. The third act of it all almost has to be insane. I can’t wait to see how they fall in love and what happens when the public finds out it was all a ruse. Because that’s almost definitely going to happen.
We are all going to watch this movie. Or maybe just I will and then I will tell you about it. Either way, Merry Christmas to all of us. But especially me.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE – Ahhhhh crap
AppleTV+
It brings me no pleasure to report non-exclusively that The Afterparty has been canceled by Apple after two very fun seasons. The show was creative and silly and spoofed so many genres of film and employed Sam Richardson, all of which I support from any creative endeavor. It’s a bummer.
I wrote about the show a few times, as I do with most things I enjoy that I don’t think enough people are yammering about. Both seasons are still right there on Apple if you want to check them out. But here’s Deadline on the news.
While Season 1 of The Afterparty was a breakout with its unconventional structure, creating a pop culture moment and a guessing game who the killer was, Season 2 had a quieter run this summer and could not match the influence of the original installment. It also may have been hampered by airing directly opposite Season 3 of Hulu’s hit murder mystery comedy Only Murders In the Building.
According to sources, post-strike slate reevaluation played a part in Apple’s decision not to continue with The Afterparty.
Okay, two things are worth noting here…
ONE: I will gladly admit that the second season was a bit shakier than the first. The gimmicks were always going to be hard to sustain, just that a similar group of people were going to get wrapped up in a murder investigation at a party following a major event and the thing where it was all a very high-concept endeavor and they were going to run out of genres to spoof eventually.
TWO: I’m still sad the show was canceled without getting a little chance to reset and end on its own terms.
The producers are shopping it to other streamers, and crazier things have happened, but we still do have Only Murders in the Building to fill the cozy little murder mystery void. That’s not nothing. But it’s not everything, either. And I can be a little greedy.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Robert:
Please watch the following YouTube clip. It’s from a series called Letters Live, and has Matt Berry and Peter Capaldi reading letters between a Sultan of the Ottoman Empire and a leader of Zaporozian Cossacks. This is the best kind of insanity I need in my world, and proof of why Peter Capaldi and Matt Berry need to be in a buddy cop style movie.
Here is the video Robert sent along with the email…
… and here is the description provided on the YouTube page, which takes the very helpful words Robert provided and adds additional context.
Matt Berry and Peter Capaldi joined us to give an incredible, hilarious reading. In 1675, the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire instructed his army to attack a fortress belonging to the Zaporozhian Cossacks. They were quickly and heavily defeated. Rather than surrender, the Sultan then wrote to the Cossacks and demanded that they submit to him. This fiery exchange was the result.
This is just all extremely cool. Robert is correct. The deck is stacked a little bit because Matthew Berry has the kind of voice that could make “reading the DMV license renewal instructions” seem cool (NOTE TO MY LOCAL DMV: CONSIDER THIS), but still. Take a few minutes to watch this sucker. A wonderful little premise executed perfectly is always appreciated. It’s extra nice when it involves Matthew Berry and his voice.
A Connecticut man who found a bag containing nearly $5,000 in cash outside a bank and claimed “finders-keepers” had a criminal charge against him dropped Wednesday after he gave the money back.
God, I love that this guy really tried to cite Finders v. Keepers as a legal precedent like he’s Lionel Hutz. I would have let him keep the money just for that.
I would not be a good judge.
Withington found the bank bag containing $4,761 on May 30 outside a bank in his hometown of Trumbull, near Bridgeport. It turned out the money belonged to the Trumbull tax collector’s office, and a town employee had dropped the bag while walking to the bank to deposit the money, police said.
Hmm.
This should be allowed.
If the government loses money and you find it, without stealing or embezzling any of it, you should get to keep it.
That should be the deal.
Police said the bag had the bank’s name on the outside, and there were deposit slips inside indicating the money belonged to the town, authorities said. A police officer had escorted the town employee to the bank, but neither one noticed the bag being dropped, police said.
THEY LITERALLY FUMBLED THE BAG
NOT GUILTY
SOMEONE GET ME A GAVEL TO BANG
WAIT
WHY DON’T I ALREADY HAVE A GAVEL?
I SHOULD HAVE A GAVEL
LET’S ALL READ SOME QUOTES FROM THIS GUY WHILE I LOOK UP GAVEL PRICES
“I found it. There was no one there. I didn’t steal it. I didn’t take it from anybody,” Withington said in a phone interview.
“I come out of the bank. I’m just getting over COVID. I had my mask on. When I walked outside, there was no one out there, but there was a police officer parked to the left. He had sunglasses, looking at his cellphone. I just looked down, I was like, ‘there’s something there.’ So I just picked it up under my arm like no biggie and just walked back to my car.”
Let the man have his money. He said it himself, it was no biggie.
Justice must be served.
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LZ (@LZatYT) 
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