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This article originally appeared on 06.29.18

Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship material.

He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. I was honest when I met him that I was looking for something more than just sex, and he led me to believe that was what he wanted, too.

Between mind-blowing sex sessions, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies — couple things but without the label. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused. My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him.

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“Why don’t we ever go anywhere?”

“We have everything we need here,” he answered while simultaneously distracting me by caressing my shoulder blades.

“We actually don’t,” I said. “I’m hungry, let’s check out that new Indian place around the corner.”

“No! We might run into one of my buddies,” he said, moving his body further away from me. The underlining meaning was clear — he couldn’t take the chance that someone he knew would see him with me.

He needed to keep our relationship on the DL so that no one would ever suspect that he enjoyed spending time with me — a fat woman.

He was super fit, so obviously that’s the kind of woman he wanted to be associated with, the kind he could be seen with at the Indian place.

When I realized he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach — a place where much of my pain already resided.

To him, I was fuckable but not dateable. He dumped me soon after that conversation.

He did me a favor by not continuing to lead me on. Otherwise, I might still be trying to prove to him that I was worth any shit he might have gotten from other people. If I was still his secret shame, I might not have met my next boyfriend, so thanks, athletic asshole.

I had hoped that, in this age of body positivity, men would no longer need to hide their desires when it comes to fat women.

But I was wrong.

It’s just a sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it.

They’re OK with banging a fat girl, but they don’t want to hang out with her — someone might judge them for it.

It’s one thing if you’re not into fat women — everyone has their preferences, and not every body type appeals to everyone. But if you find larger women hot and you want to have sex with them without being associated in public with them, that’s emotionally abusive.

Everyone should have the freedom to express their desires openly (as long as there’s consent from both parties). If you modify your behavior and wants to what you think will protect you from criticism and/or ridicule, then you need help because that kind of self-loathing will only grow until it has destroyed you.

Don’t act like we’re in a relationship if all you really want is to experience what sex with a fat woman is like.

I’ll tell you what it’s like: It’s as amazing and fun as having sex with anyone who’s into having sex with you. We don’t have magic vaginas, and our breasts don’t do any special tricks — well besides the usual, like feed or comfort people.

Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. Being fat doesn’t mean we’re so hungry for attention that we’ll put our own needs aside and do whatever we can to rock your world.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t make you feel beautiful or who isn’t proud to have you on their arm, you need to dump their ass.

Being alone is far better than compromising on what you deserve or being made to feel as if you’re someone’s big dirty secret.

You’re not only dateable, you’re lovable and worthy of being treated with respect and love.

I regret not standing up for myself when I discovered the athletic guy was only using me for sex. But at least I learned, as we all should learn, that I’m responsible for being my biggest advocate and to never accepting anything less than what I need.

Adele‘s Weekends With Adele residency has proven to be one of the hottest Vegas mainstays of the year. But the show is nearing its end.

As Weekends With Adele heads toward its final days, Adele is tightening up on safety restrictions. Over the course of the residency, Adele has walked through the audience, and taken pictures and video selfies with fans. However, she said that she will be unable to continue this for the remainder of the show.

“Normally I would absolutely stop and chat and all of that and hear all about your life and be the nosey person that I am,” Adele said (per MusicNews.) “However, I’m hanging on by a thread trying not to get COVID”

She continued, noting that while she herself was not gotten COVID, many of the people she works with have, and she does not want to risk getting sick and having to cancel or postpone any of her shows.

“Everyone that I know that I work with has f*cking COVID, so it’s a miracle that I haven’t had it yet,” she said. “And I really do love chatting to you, but I don’t want to get sick, I’ll take selfies from a distance or shoot your vid. I might have symptoms and then I can’t do my show and I will be damned if I cancel any more of these shows. I refuse to cancel any shows. I just can’t risk getting ill. Honestly, my immune system is in the gutter and I want to be close to you and stuff like that, but I just can’t risk it.”

The final Weekends With Adele show will take place on November 4 at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

Maren Morris has learned the hard lesson in which if you love something that doesn’t love you back, you have to let it go. In Morris’ case, she makes a firm decision to leave country music.

This past Friday (September 15), Morris dropped a two-track EP called The Bridge, which features the song “The Tree.” On “The Tree,” Morris seems to reflect on recent events — which may include calling out Brittany Aldean, wife of country singer Jason Aldean, for transphobic comments and slamming Morgan Wallen’s use of a racial slur. While many praised Morris’ outspokenness, some country music fans labeled her a “lunatic” and outcasted her within the genre.

“I’m done fillin’ a cup with a hole in the bottom / I’m takin’ an axe to the tree / The rot at the roots is the root of the problem / But you wanna blame it on me,” she sings.

In the accompanying video, she is seen walking out of a country town, and literally cutting down a tree. A billboard reading “Welcome to our perfect small town, from sunrise to sundown” appears toward the end of the video, which seems to satirically allude to Jason Aldean’s controversial song, “Try That In A Small Town.”

It’s worth noting that the song is produced by pop go-to Greg Kurstin and Jimmy Robbins, and released through Columbia Records, instead of Morris’ previous label, Sony Nashville.

You can see the video for “The Tree” above.

Remember Brendan Fraser? 10 years ago, he was one of Hollywood’s biggest stars. Then, he suddenly disappeared.

If you were a kid in the late ’90s and early ’00s, chances are you saw a Brendan Fraser movie. The comedy and action star catapulted to fame behind blockbusters like “The Mummy” franchise, “George of the Jungle,” “Looney Tunes: Back in Action,” and the Oscar-winning film “Crash.”

But after 2008, he largely disappeared from major starring roles. His absence wasn’t due to drugs, a sex-scandal, or illness — despite memes and even reported articles speculating about his career arc, with many blaming it on poor career choices.

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Fraser revealed in a recent interview that an incident of sexual harassment led him to withdraw from his high-profile lifestyle.

Lately, the actor has gradually returned to more high-profile roles, and in an interview with GQ, he explained that the real reason he stepped back from the spotlight was because of being physically groped by Philip Berk, a former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

In his own book, Berk admitted to “pinching” Fraser in the buttocks after an event, but Fraser says the incident was much worse. “His left hand reaches around, grabs my ass cheek, and one of his fingers touches me in the taint. And he starts moving it around.”

“I felt ill. I felt like a little kid,” he told GQ. “I felt like there was a ball in my throat. I thought I was going to cry.”

He said it’s time to speak out, and other male victims of harassment are supporting him.

Berk has called the allegation a “total fabrication” but acknowledges he sent Fraser an apology letter after the incident when the actor complained to the HFPA. Fraser said he tried to bury his feelings about the incident, but he was moved into action after seeing actresses and actors speaking up at this year’s Golden Globes.

“Am I still frightened? Absolutely. Do I feel like I need to say something? Absolutely. Have I wanted to many, many times? Absolutely. Have I stopped myself? Absolutely.”

Despite his reservations, people seem to believe, and be genuinely moved by, Fraser’s claim. Once the target of jokes, Fraser has become a catalyst for moving praise across social media.

All these years and we discover that Brendan Fraser really is the guy you think he is, which means he’s too pure for this world and the world put some scars on him. I love him more than ever now.https://t.co/XGXV8FG5GK

— Geek Girl Diva (@geekgirldiva) February 22, 2018

I love Brendan Fraser and I am so proud of him for speaking his truth. https://t.co/Ev3seJavsf

— Mira Sorvino (@MiraSorvino) February 22, 2018

The Brendan Fraser story is a good reminder to always side-eye established, assumed narratives. So many people have been beaten up and spit out by our major institutions, forgotten until we cycle back around to empathy.

— A.B. (@AlannaBennett) February 22, 2018

He’s also earned some public support from actor Terry Crews, who has publicly discussed experiencing a similar incident years ago.

“Brendan is amazingly courageous in telling this,” Crews wrote on Twitter. “His assault experience is extremely similar to mine — ending with the assailant explaining away his actions. One man’s ‘horseplay’ is another man’s humiliation.”

Brendan is amazingly courageous in telling this. His assault experience is extremely similar to mine— ending with the assailant explaining away his actions.

One mans “horseplay” is another man’s humiliation. https://t.co/nNjtmKq5D7

— terry crews (@terrycrews) February 22, 2018

Victims of sexual harassment and assault often face deep shame and fear in speaking out. Speaking out takes courage.

Speaking out after experiencing harassment or assault can be an incredible challenge, often full of personal and professional risk. Though the majority of assaults are against women, men face their own similar challenges in overcoming shame, doubt, and repercussions for coming forward and speaking out. When men like Fraser and Crews speak out, they help clear the path for other men to come forward with their own stories.

This story originally appeared on 08.06.19

Somewhere in Salt Lake City, a Girl Scout is getting allll the good mojo from The People of the Internet.

Over the weekend, Eli McCann shared a story of an encounter at a Girl Scout cookie stand that has people throwing their fists in the air and shouting, YES! THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE. (Or maybe that’s just me. But I’m guessing most of the 430,000 people who liked his story had a similar reaction.)

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“I just saw the most wild thing!” McCann wrote on Twitter. “A man started walking toward the Girl Scouts cookie stand in front of the grocery store and he yelled ‘My bitches are BACK’ and this Girl Scout just yelled ‘No. Walk away.’ AND HE DID.”

So simple. So straightforward. But it gets even better.

McCann wrote out the full story on his blog, It Just Gets Stranger, offering some extra details to his tweets.

“It was truly jarring,” he wrote of the man’s exclamation. “Like, it was sort of the last thing I expected anyone to say. My mind suddenly rebooted. The six or so other people who were all standing around in front of the grocery store froze and looked at him. I opened my mouth to say something, but then really didn’t know what to say.”

“It was unclear who he was calling ‘bitches,'” he continued. “If it was the Girl Scouts, well obviously that was terrible. If it was the cookies, I mean that’s kind of funny (don’t @ me), but totally inappropriate to say to a bunch of 12 year olds (is that how old Girl Scouts are?). Either way, he shouldn’t have said it and I don’t know what could have possibly made him think this was a fine way to approach a group of Girl Scouts.”

McCann said the girl’s response was immediate, and it floored everyone. “Her tone was so full of confidence and sass,” he wrote. “It was the most perfectly delivered line I have ever heard.”

“This dude completely froze. He just stopped walking. His face went bright red. His mouth was sort of gaping open. He did this very awkward and stilted nod, almost apologetic, abruptly turned around, and shuffled back to his car at like 6-minute-mile pace. The girl just death stared him all the way through his walk of shame.”

I still can’t process what I just saw. I don’t understand it at all. It was like witnessing the worst miscalculation he was bright red and just went back to his car. Everyone just stood in silence. This girl death stared him all the way through his walk of shame.

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 7, 2020

McCann says it took him a bit to digest what he’d just seen.

“I ended up walking into the store and the entire time I was shopping I was just trying to process what had happened. I kept replaying it over and over and wondering if I had misheard or misunderstood something,” he wrote.

“Who was this guy? Did he just make the biggest miscalculation of his life? Is he going to move away and start a new life now? Is that girl going to be president one day? Can I adopt her? Can she adopt me? Can I start a cult to follow her?”

As he was leaving the store, he went up to the girl to compliment her—then got another perfectly delivered line from the intrepid Girl Scout.

“Two adult women were standing behind the girl (the troop leaders, I assume),” he wrote. “I said to the girl, ‘I saw how you handled that man earlier. That was really really impressive. Your troop is pretty lucky to have you.'”

“And this girl. This Goddess of a human. The one I’m for sure going to worship if ever she starts a religion. Without stuttering. With perfect comedic timing. She responded:

‘You gotta be pretty tough if you’re gonna go out in THIS outfit.‘”

OMG.

I just went and talked to her (tried to buy cookies but couldn’t because cash only). I told her I was impressed with how she handled that dude and she just said with perfect comedic timing “you got learn to be pretty tough if you’re gonna go out in THIS outfit!”

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 7, 2020

Let’s all give this girl a virtual high five for her gumption and wit. It takes a lot of courage to say something to an adult when you’re a kid, especially a man who is doing something inappropriate. The fact that she seemed to have been perfectly prepared for that moment, shutting him down so immediately and decisively that everyone in the vicinity stopped to take note, is so dang impressive.

This is what happens when you teach girls their true worth and encourage them not to accept anything less than respect and dignity. Gotta love it.

This article originally appeared on 03.09.20

There are few things as frightening to a parent than losing your child in a crowded place like a shopping mall, zoo, or stadium. The moment you realize your child is missing, it’s impossible not to consider the terrifying idea they may have been kidnapped.

A woman in New Zealand recently lost her son in a Kmart but was able to locate him because of a potentially life-saving parenting hack she saw on TikTok a few months ago.

The woman was shopping at the retailer when she realized her two-year-old son Nathan was missing. She immediately told a friend to alert the staff to ensure he didn’t leave through the store’s front exit.

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“Another friend searched the area he was last seen,” the mom wrote in a Facebook post.

The mother began looking for him by rummaging through clothes racks and running through the aisles.

It was the “scariest 10 minutes of my life” she later wrote.

But then she remembered a parenting hack she saw on TikTok by blogger Jess Martini. “If your child goes missing, screw the stares and start calling out their description,” the mother recalled.

“I’m missing a little boy, he’s wearing a yellow shirt and has brown hair. He’s two years old and his name is Nathan!” she called out to the rest of the store while reminding herself not to “break down” in tears.

“You need people to understand you loud and clear,” she said.

The mother’s calls immediately deputized everyone who heard them to begin looking for the child. It was like multiplying the search by a factor of 10. “I turned an aisle and heard ‘He’s here!'” she wrote. “I turned back the way I came and there he was. A man had walked past him after hearing me calling out.”

She immediately thanked the man, realizing that if she hadn’t called out he may have never known the child was missing. “Nate would have walked past him and he wouldn’t have blinked,” she said.

In November, parenting blogger Jess Martini posted a video sharing the best way for parents to locate a missing child. It’s great advice because the knee-jerk response is usually to just call out their name or silently run around looking.

@jesmartini PSA that I feel can save kids and I’ve used- if your child goes missing in public #momsoftiktok #PSA #nojudgement #fyp #4up #besafe #parentsoftiktok ♬ original sound – Jess martini

“To all parents out there, if your child goes missing, do not search in silence or just call out their name,’ Martini says in the video. “Shout out loud and clear. Say they’re missing, give a description and repeat, repeat, repeat!”

“Everyone will be on alert, and if someone is trying to take off with your kid, it will decrease the chances of them getting away,” she added.

The advice is a great reminder to make a mental note of what your child is wearing when you go out, so if they go missing, you can easily provide a description. It also proof that when a parent needs help, most people are more than willing to lend a hand.

This article originally appeared on 01.27.21

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her. The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

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It started when Megan’s grandpa texted her to ask if she’d like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

See on Instagram

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.” When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn’t forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

See on Instagram

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another. Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

See on Instagram

Megan’s time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

“I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent,” she wrote on Instagram, “so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live.”

This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

While a catchy hook might make a song go viral, very few songs create such a unifying impact that they achieve timeless resonance. Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” is one of those songs.

So much courage and raw honesty is packed into the lyrics, only to be elevated by Chapman’s signature androgynous and soulful voice. Imagine being in the crowd and seeing her as a relatively unknown talent and hearing that song for the first time. Would you instantly recognize that you were witnessing a pivotal moment in musical history?

For concert goers at Wembley Stadium in the late 80s, this was the scenario.

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The year was 1988. Seventy-two thousand people gathered—along with 600 million more watching along on their televisions—to see headliner Stevie Wonder as part of Nelson Mandela’s 70th birthday tribute concert.

However, technical difficulties (or perhaps some divine timing) rendered Wonder unable to perform his act. Chapman had already played a three-song set earlier in the afternoon, and yet she agreed to step up to the microphone.

Armed with nothing but herself and a guitar, the shy and stoic Chapman captivated everyone to silence. And the rest is history.

Watch:

Using just a simple story, “Fast Car” conveyed a million different themes—the challenges of class and poverty, seeking escape from a small town and yearning for freedom and new opportunity. It’s easy to see why some find the song heartbreaking, while others find it hopeful.

After the Mandela gig, the song became a worldwide hit, earning Chapman Grammy awards and shooting her to stardom. What’s more, she introduced a new wave of socially-conscious music filled with gentle, yet brutally truthful introspection. Since that fateful day, her name is forever synonymous with a quiet revolution. We are quite lucky to get to experience it so many years later.

This article originally appeared on 2.2.23

Friday evening Russell Brand posted an alarming video on social media. In it, he tried to get ahead of what he called “extremely egregious and aggressive attacks” he claimed were forthcoming. Brand didn’t go into specifics, but he said they involved his height-of-fame days when he admitted he was “very, very promiscuous.” However, he maintained the encounters were “absolutely, always consensual.”

On Saturday details of those allegations dropped.

Per The Hollywood Reporter, four women have formally accused Brand of sexually assaulting them between 2006 and 2013, in a joint investigative report by The Sunday Times, The Times, and Channel 4 Dispatches.

THR reports:

The first woman told the news outlets that Brand raped her against a wall in Los Angeles, where she was treated at a rape crisis center the same day. The investigation also found text messages between the woman and Brand. She messaged him, saying, “When a girl say[s] NO it means no.” The actor allegedly replied that he was “very sorry.”

Another woman alleged that the comedian assaulted her when he was 31, and she was 16. She explained that he called her “the child” during their emotionally abusive and controlling relationship that lasted for around three months. She claimed that he “forced his penis down her throat” and made her choke, only backing off when she punched him in the stomach.

A third woman told the outlets that Brand sexually assaulted her while she worked with him in L.A. and said he threatened to take legal action if she went public with what happened. The fourth woman also alleged the actor sexually assaulted her and was physically and emotionally abusive toward her.

In his pre-emptive video, Brand said that he was “always transparent about [his past behavior] then — almost too transparent — and I’m being transparent about it now as well.”

Brand, who’s leaned ever-rightward over the last few years, also denied claims that he was a “conspiracy theorist” or “right-wing” — while claiming that these accusations were part of a concerted effort to silence him.

“I’m aware that you guys have been saying in the comments for a while: ‘Watch out Russell, they’re coming for you. You’re getting too close to the truth. Russell Brand did not kill himself,’” Brand said, not getting into specifics about what “truth” he was unearthing or who “they” were. “It’s been clear to me, or at least it feels to me like, there’s a serious and concerted agenda to control these kinds of spaces and these kinds of voices, and I mean my voice along with your voice.”

(Via THR)

Dwayne Johnson has kept himself pretty busy over the last day. After making an appearance on The Pat McAfee Show in Boulder on Friday afternoon, Johnson appeared in his old stomping grounds on Friday night, as he joined McAfee and dropped a People’s Elbow on Austin Theory on WWE SmackDown.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this wasn’t the last time that The Rock made his presence felt in Colorado this weekend. The College GameDay crew is in Boulder ahead of the Colorado Buffaloes’ game against Colorado State, and prior to the game, Deion Sanders went on set to talk about the Buffs’ 2-0 start to the season. During his time on set, The Rock’s entrance theme hit, which led to Johnson joining Rece Davis, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard, McAfee, and Sanders.

Sanders was especially excited to have Johnson come on set, perhaps because he knew that The Rock would cut a promo about why he’s doing something special in the world of college football.

“What Deion is doing right now — let’s talk about this just for a second, because we are witnessing something that is not only game-changing in the face of college football, but also, something that’s very special,” Johnson said. “And what that special thing is, is passion mixed with love mixed with disruption mixed with swagger mixed with confidence, but also, there’s an undercurrent here that Coach Prime is doing, is he’s changing the face of college football, and he’s doing it his way. But he’s also doing it in a way — and this is the hard part — that is galvanizing not only a town in Boulder, Colorado, but also galvanizing an entire country.”

After admitting that The Rock nearly made him cry, Coach Prime did what any good college football coach would do in this situation: used it as a recruiting pitch.

“All recruits, did you hear what he said?” Sanders said while the rest of the desk laughed. “We ain’t hard to find.”