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Yoga can be both a relaxing and athletic pursuit, and generally speaking, the last pose of a session is Shavasana. That is, of course, often the most meditative pose of a yoga practice, and it’s known as “corpse pose” because the goal is to lie perfectly still like, well, you know. Some people [cough] actually consider this to be one of the most challenging poses in existence, but most yoga students I know relish those few minutes at the end of class.

However, one London yoga class inadvertently went off the rails when a couple walked by a window and assumed that a ritual murder had taken place during Shavasana. Really. There weren’t even any goats around, which would at least make a smidgen more sense for mistaking the scene for someone doing evil deeds. Perhaps the world has been watching too much true crime, which happens. Seascape Cafe (which is inside North Sea Observatory in Chapel St Leonards) found themselves in the odd position of posting this on Facebook:

If any one heard the mass of police sirens in Chapel St Leonard’s at 9:30pm last night then please be reassured….
They were on their way to the Observatory after someone had reported a mass killing in our building. Having seen several people laying on the floor….
Which actually turned out to be the Yoga Class in meditation
Thank you to Lincolnshire Police for their prompt response. I can’t imagine for one moment what would have being going through their minds on the way….
Dear General Public, please be mindful that the Observatory has lots of Yoga classes happening in the evenings. We are not part of any mad cult or crazy clubs.

Additionally, the instructor involved told BBC News, “I guess from the outside view it could look like that, because they’re all really still, very nice and relaxed.” Yet the 22-year-old yogi was only playing a little drum while people enjoyed a quick little rest. The teacher did characterize the mishap as “surreal and funny,” but I still think it would have been a better story with goats.

(Via Seascape Cafe & BBC)

2023 marks the 30th anniversary of the groundbreaking Wu-Tang Clan debut album Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers). With that in mind, the group’s de facto leader RZA has something special planned to celebrate the anniversary: A run of shows at New York’s Gramercy Theatre turning the kung-fu-obsessed rap recording into a straight-up symphony.

Considering the original’s orchestral components, which were drawn from a variety of sources including ’70s soul records and actual classical compositions, it’s a reworking that makes a lot of sense. Other rappers, such as Nas, have done similar things with some of their most pioneering works, and RZA himself even produced a ballet earlier this year called 36 Chambers Of Shaolin And A Ballet Through Mud.

The shows will take place November 7th, 8th, and 9th, with tickets going on sale Friday, September 8th at 10 am. You can get more info here. Meanwhile, the Wu-Tang Clan as a crew kick off the next part of their North American tour alongside De La Soul and Nas next Friday, September 15th at Madison Square Garden. See below for the full schedule.

09/15 — New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
09/20 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena *
09/22 – Hollywood, FL @ Hard Rock Live *
09/23 – Jacksonville, FL @ Daily’s Place *
09/24 – Tampa, FL @ Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino *^
09/26 – Washington, DC @ Capital One Arena *
09/27 – Brooklyn, NY @ Barclays Center *
09/29 – Atlantic City, NJ @ Jim Whelan Boardwalk Hall *
10/01 – Toronto, ON @ Scotiabank Arena *
10/02 – Laval, QC @ Place Bell *
10/04 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center *
10/07 – Minneapolis, MN @ Target Center *
10/08 – Chicago, IL @ United Center *
10/10 – Winnipeg, MB @ Canada Life Centre *
10/13 – Edmonton, AB @ Rogers Place *
10/14 – Calgary, AB @ Scotiabank Saddledome *
10/16 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena *
10/17 – Portland, OR @ Moda Center *
10/18 – Seattle, WA @ Climate Pledge Arena *
10/21 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Garden Arena *
10/22 – Highland, CA @ Yaamava Theatre *

^ = Daytime Pool Party Performance
* = w/ De La Soul

When we recognize kids’ unwelcome behaviors as reactions to environmental conditions, developmental phases, or our own actions, we can respond proactively, and with compassion.

Here are 10 ways kids may seem like they’re acting “naughty” but really aren’t. And what parents can do to help.

1. They can’t control their impulses.

Ever say to your kid, “Don’t throw that!” and they throw it anyway?

Research suggests the brain regions involved in self-control are immature at birth and don’t fully mature until the end of adolescence, which explains why developing self-control is a “long, slow process.”

A recent survey revealed many parents assume children can do things at earlier ages than child-development experts know to be true. For example, 56% of parents felt that children under the age of 3 should be able to resist the desire to do something forbidden whereas most children don’t master this skill until age 3 and a half or 4.

What parents can do: Reminding ourselves that kids can’t always manage impulses (because their brains aren’t fully developed) can inspire gentler reactions to their behavior.

2. They experience overstimulation.

We take our kids to Target, the park, and their sister’s play in a single morning and inevitably see meltdowns, hyperactivity, or outright resistance. Jam-packed schedules, overstimulation, and exhaustion are hallmarks of modern family life.

Research suggests that 28% of Americans “always feel rushed” and 45% report having “no excess time.” Kim John Payne, author of “Simplicity Parenting,” argues that children experience a “cumulative stress reaction” from too much enrichment, activity, choice, and toys. He asserts that kids need tons of “down time” to balance their “up time.”

What parents can do: When we build in plenty of quiet time, playtime, and rest time, children’s behavior often improves dramatically.

3. Kids’ physical needs affect their mood.

Ever been “hangry” or completely out of patience because you didn’t get enough sleep? Little kids are affected tenfold by such “core conditions” of being tired, hungry, thirsty, over-sugared, or sick.

Kids’ ability to manage emotions and behavior is greatly diminished when they’re tired. Many parents also notice a sharp change in children’s behavior about an hour before meals, if they woke up in the night, or if they are coming down with an illness.

What parents can do: Kids can’t always communicate or “help themselves” to a snack, a Tylenol, water, or a nap like adults can. Help them through routines and prep for when that schedule might get thrown off.

Image via iStock.

4. They can’t tame their expression of big feelings.

As adults, we’ve been taught to tame and hide our big emotions, often by stuffing them, displacing them, or distracting from them. Kids can’t do that yet.

What parents can do: Early-childhood educator Janet Lansbury has a great phrase for when kids display powerful feelings such as screaming, yelling, or crying. She suggests that parents “let feelings be” by not reacting or punishing kids when they express powerful emotions. (Psst: “Jane the Virgin” actor Justin Baldoni has some tips on parenting through his daughter’s grocery store meltdown.)

5. Kids have a developmental need for tons of movement.

“Sit still!” “Stop chasing your brother around the table!” “Stop sword fighting with those pieces of cardboard!” “Stop jumping off the couch!”

Kids have a developmental need for tons of movement. The need to spend time outside, ride bikes and scooters, do rough-and-tumble play, crawl under things, swing from things, jump off things, and race around things.

What parents can do: Instead of calling a child “bad” when they’re acting energetic, it may be better to organize a quick trip to the playground or a stroll around the block.

6. They’re defiant.

Every 40- and 50-degree day resulted in an argument at one family’s home. A first-grader insisted that it was warm enough to wear shorts while mom said the temperature called for pants. Erik Erikson’s model posits that toddlers try to do things for themselves and that preschoolers take initiative and carry out their own plans.

What parents can do: Even though it’s annoying when a child picks your tomatoes while they’re still green, cuts their own hair, or makes a fort with eight freshly-washed sheets, they’re doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing — trying to carry out their own plans, make their own decisions, and become their own little independent people. Understanding this and letting them try is key.

7. Sometimes even their best traits can trip them up.

It happens to all of us — our biggest strengths often reflect our weaknesses. Maybe we’re incredibly focused, but can’t transition very easily. Maybe we’re intuitive and sensitive but take on other people’s negative moods like a sponge.

Kids are similar: They may be driven in school but have difficulty coping when they mess up (e.g., yelling when they make a mistake). They may be cautious and safe but resistant to new activities (e.g., refusing to go to baseball practice). They may live in the moment but aren’t that organized (e.g., letting their bedroom floor become covered with toys).

What parents can do: Recognizing when a child’s unwelcome behaviors are really the flip side of their strengths — just like ours — can help us react with more understanding.

Image via iStock.

8. Kids have a fierce need for play.

Your kid paints her face with yogurt, wants you to chase her and “catch her” when you’re trying to brush her teeth, or puts on daddy’s shoes instead of her own when you’re racing out the door. Some of kids’ seemingly “bad” behaviors are what John Gottman calls “bids” for you to play with them.

Kids love to be silly and goofy. They delight in the connection that comes from shared laughter and love the elements of novelty, surprise, and excitement.

What parents can do: Play often takes extra time and therefore gets in the way of parents’ own timelines and agendas, which may look like resistance and naughtiness even when it’s not. When parents build lots of playtime into the day, kids don’t need to beg for it so hard when you’re trying to get them out the door.

9. They are hyperaware and react to parents’ moods.

Multiple research studies on emotional contagion have found that it only takes milliseconds for emotions like enthusiasm and joy, as well as sadness, fear, and anger, to pass from person to person, and this often occurs without either person realizing it. Kids especially pick up on their parents’ moods. If we are stressed, distracted, down, or always on the verge of frustrated, kids emulate these moods. When we are peaceful and grounded, kids model off that instead.

What parents can do: Check in with yourself before getting frustrated with your child for feeling what they’re feeling. Their behavior could be modeled after your own tone and emotion.

10. They struggle to respond to inconsistent limits.

At one baseball game, you buy your kid M&Ms. At the next, you say, “No, it’ll ruin your dinner,” and your kid screams and whines. One night you read your kids five books, but the next you insist you only have time to read one, and they beg for more. One night you ask your child, “What do you want for dinner?” and the next night you say, “We’re having lasagna, you can’t have anything different,” and your kids protest the incongruence.

When parents are inconsistent with limits, it naturally sets off kids’ frustration and invites whining, crying, or yelling.

What parents can do: Just like adults, kids want (and need) to know what to expect. Any effort toward being 100% consistent with boundaries, limits, and routines will seriously improve children’s behavior.

This story first appeared on Psychology Today and is reprinted here with permission.

You wear extra chunky sweaters. You’ve never met a mitten you didn’t like. You may even keep a lap blanket at work.

You’re one of those people who is always cold. And you are not alone.

— (@)

Inside or outside, you just can’t seem to get warm. This characteristic of yours manifests itself in extra blankets, wild heating bills, and enough complaints that you start going hoarse.

But surely there’s a scientific reason as to why some people are always cold, right?

It can’t just be random chance that has doomed you to a life of perpetual shivers. I reached out to an expert to learn more.

Dr. Christopher Minson is a professor in the department of human physiology at the University of Oregon. One of his primary research interests is thermoregulation, that’s how the brain and body interact and adapt as we heat and cool. Plainly put, he is the perfect guy to answer a few questions from #TeamCold.

(This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.)

Upworthy (UP): So what is actually happening in the body when a person gets chilly?

Dr. Chris Minson (CM): In the simplest of terms, feeling either cold or warm means that the temperature “set point” of the body is being challenged by thermal inputs throughout the body, including in the brain, the blood, the spinal cord, our organs, our muscles, and our skin. Part of our brain collects all of those thermal inputs and essentially compares them to what body temperature it wants to hold. So if your skin temperature is lowered, even though the rest of your body is still at a comfortable set-point, you will feel cold — in some cases, cold enough to make behavioral changes like putting on a sweater.

UP: Is there a reason this seems to largely impact women?

CM: The people who feel “always cold” will typically have lower muscle mass relative to body surface area (typically, women and older people). Their actual body core temperature may not really be below normal, but they feel cold because their body is telling them to conserve heat.

There have also been limited reports that women have a higher density of blood vessels at the skin surface, which would make them more sensitive to cold. However, there hasn’t been enough good data collected on this theory to confirm or disprove it.

This also explains a frequent frustrations about women and men in relationships…

CM: A common complaint by women and men in relationships is that women’s feet are often very cold, especially in bed. That goes along with the lower body mass to surface area relationship in women. As their body works to conserve heat, it vasoconstricts blood vessels in the extremities (hands and feet) to keep the core warm. This reduced blood flow results in cold hands and feet in women more than men.

So there you have it: Your brain is simply an overworked project manager trying to keep you alive. But there are a few things you can do about it.

UP: If you are a person who is always cold, is there anything you can do to “retrain” your body, so to speak?

CM: One of the best things someone can do is to increase their fat-free mass (muscle). This will increase overall metabolic rate (although it’s not easy to do.)

Another thing a person could do is undergo cold-stresses, such as allowing themselves to be exposed to very cold temperatures for short periods of time. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s been suggested that this could decrease the sensation of feeling cold. An example is putting the shower on ‘cold’ for a short period of time in the shower. Not easy to do, and you would want to build up to a full minute each day, but in some people it can help them to decrease the feeling of being cold.

UP: There are a lot of jokes at the expense of people who are always cold, but at what point does it go from “I’m always cold, and it’s a quirky thing about me” to “I’m always cold and I should probably see my doctor”?

CM: There is the possibility that someone’s perpetual coldness could be caused by abnormally low thyroid hormone levels, and that can be verified with a blood test. That is by far the rarer condition, but taking hormone supplements if medically needed can help. If a person is quite lethargic, has low motivation, and is always cold, it might be worth having thyroid hormones evaluated.

So if you are a lap-blanket wearing member of #TeamCold, don’t fret.

You are strong. You are capable. And unless you have pain or some of the symptoms Minson mentioned, there is likely nothing wrong with you. Our bodies just require different things of us, and yours requires that you have to deal with an overly-air conditioned-society. My sincerest apologies. On behalf of #TeamHot, your next cocoa is on me.

This article originally appeared on 02.13.18

Adrienne Osuna is a fitness blogger with a focus on weight training. After years of struggling with her weight, this mother of four finally got serious about her health, adopting a rigorous schedule of power lifting, cardio, and intermittent fasting to lose weight, gain muscle, and kick ass.

And while her personal regimen might be a little too ambitious for most of us, she’s still inspiring—because she keeps it real.

An image she posted on her blog is going viral for pointing out that focusing on your weight is a misleading goal. The before-and-after pic shows her before she started lifting and after—a complete physical transformation which resulted in a staggering one pound of weight loss.

After she went viral she made another Instagram post revealing she was actually a pound heavier in the after photo. Unfortunately, that post has since been made private.

She would later explain that she felt it was important to reclaim her image because it had been used in advertisements for weight loss products, and that’s not what she’s about.

“But I DID NOT use anyone’s products to do this,” she wrote in a post which since been made private. “This was all hard work in the gym lifting heavy weights and intermittent fasting.

Kudos to Ms. Osuna for getting the word out—fitness isn’t about a number, it’s about having awesome muscles you could use to punch a hole through a plaster wall.

This article was originally published by our partners at someecards and was written by Matt Nedostup.

From 1940 to 1945, an estimated 1.3 million people were deported to Auschwitz, the largest complex of Nazi concentration camps. More than four out of five of those people—at least 1.1 million people—were murdered there.

On January 27, 1945, Soviet forces liberated the final prisoners from these camps—7,000 people, most of whom were sick or dying. Those of us with a decent public education are familiar with at least a few names of Nazi extermination facilities—Auschwitz, Dachau, Bergen-Belsen—but these are merely a few of the thousands (yes, thousands) of concentration camps, sub camps, and ghettos spread across Europe where Jews and other targets of Hitler’s regime were persecuted, tortured, and killed by the millions.

The scale of the atrocity is unfathomable. Like slavery, the Holocaust is a piece of history where the more you learn the more horrifying it becomes. The inhumane depravity of the perpetrators and the gut-wrenching suffering of the victims defies description. It almost becomes too much for the mind and heart to take in, but it’s vital that we push through that resistance.

The liberation of the Nazi camps marked the end of Hitler’s attempt at ethnic cleansing, and the beginning of humanity’s awareness about how such a heinous chapter in human history took place. The farther we get from that chapter, the more important it is to focus on the lessons it taught us, lest we ignore the signs of history repeating itself.

Lesson 1: Unspeakable evil can be institutionalized on a massive scale

Perhaps the most jarring thing about the Holocaust is how systematized it was. We’re not talking about humans slaying other humans in a fit of rage or a small number of twisted individuals torturing people in a basement someplace—this was a structured, calculated, disciplined, and meticulously planned and carried out effort to exterminate masses of people. The Nazi regime built a well-oiled killing machine the size of half a continent, and it worked exactly as intended. We often cite the number of people killed, but the number of people who partook in the systematic torture and destruction of millions of people is just as harrowing.

It has now come out that Allied forces knew about the mass killing of Jews as early as 1942—three years before the end of the war. And obviously, there were reports from individuals of what was happening from the very beginning. People often ask why more wasn’t done earlier on if people knew, and there are undoubtedly political reasons for that. But we also have the benefit of hindsight in asking that question. I can imagine most people simply disbelieving what was actually taking place because it sounds so utterly unbelievable.

The lesson here is that we have to question our tendency to disbelieve things that sound too horrible to be true. We have evidence that the worst things imaginable on a scale that seems unfathomable are totally plausible.

Lesson 2: Atrocity can happen right under our noses as we go about our daily lives

One thing that struck me as I was reading about the liberation of Auschwitz is that it was a mere 37 miles from Krakow, one of the largest cities in Poland. This camp where an average of 500 people a day were killed, where bodies were piled up like corded wood, where men, women, and children were herded into gas chambers—and it was not that far from a major population center.

And that was just one set of camps. We now know that there were thousands of locations where the Nazis carried out their “final solution,” and it’s not like they always did it way out in the middle of nowhere. A New York Times report on how many more camps there were than scholars originally thought describes what was happening to Jews and marginalized people as the average person went about their daily lives:

“The documented camps include not only ‘killing centers’ but also thousands of forced labor camps, where prisoners manufactured war supplies; prisoner-of-war camps; sites euphemistically named ‘care’ centers, where pregnant women were forced to have abortions or their babies were killed after birth; and brothels, where women were coerced into having sex with German military personnel.”

Whether or not the average person knew the full extent of what was happening is unclear. But surely there were reports. And we know how the average person responds to reports, even today in our own country.

How many news stories have we seen of abuses and inhumane conditions inside U.S. immigrant detention camps? What is our reaction when the United Nations human rights chief visits our detention facilities and comes away “appalled”? It’s a natural tendency to assume things simply can’t be that bad—that’s undoubtedly what millions of Germans thought as well when stories leaked through the propaganda.

Lesson 3: Propaganda works incredibly well

Propaganda has always been a part of governance, as leaders try to sway the general populace to support whatever they are doing. But the Nazis perfected the art and science of propaganda, shamelessly playing on people’s prejudices and fears and flooding the public with mountains of it.

Hermann Goering, one of Hitler’s top political and military figures, explained in an interview late in his life that such manipulation of the masses isn’t even that hard.

“The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders,” he said. “That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.”

Terrifyingly true, isn’t it? This is why we have to stay vigilant in the face of fear-mongering rhetoric coming from our leaders. When an entire religion or nationality or ethnic group is painted as “dangerous” or “criminal” or “terrorists,” we have to recognize that we are being exposed to the same propaganda used to convince Germans that the Nazis were just trying to protect them. Safety and security are powerful human desires that make it easy to justify horrible acts.

Hitler was also great at playing the victim. While marching through Europe, conquering countries and rounding up millions of innocent people to exterminate, he claimed that Germany was the one under attack. Blatant anti-Semitic rhetoric surely fired up Hitler’s core supporters, but the message to the average German was that this was all being done in the name of protecting the homeland, rather than a quest for a world-dominating master race.

Lesson 4: Most of us are in greater danger of committing a holocaust than being a victim of one

I had to pause when this realization hit me one day. As fairly average white American, I am in the majority in my country. And as strange as it is to say, that means I have more in common with the Germans who either committed heinous acts or capitulated to the Nazis than I do with the Jews and other targets of the Nazi party. That isn’t to say that I would easily go along with mass genocide, but who’s to say that I could fully resist the combination of systematic dehumanization, propaganda, and terrorism that led to the Holocaust? We all like to think we’d be the brave heroes hiding the Anne Franks of the world in our secret cupboards, but the truth is we don’t really know what we would have done.

Check out what this Army Captain who helped liberate a Nazi camp said about his bafflement at what the Germans, “a cultured people” allowed to happen:

“I had studied German literature while an undergraduate at Harvard College. I knew about the culture of the German people and I could not, could not really believe that this was happening in this day and age; that in the twentieth century a cultured people like the Germans would undertake something like this. It was just beyond our imagination… – Captain (Dr.) Philip Leif – 3rd Auxiliary Surgical Group, First Army

Some say that we can gauge what we would have done by examining what we’re doing right now, and perhaps they are right. Are we speaking out against our government’s cruel family separations that traumatize innocent children? Do we justify travel bans from entire countries because we trust that it’s simply our leadership trying to keep us safe? Do we buy into the “Muslims are terrorists” and “undocumented immigrants are criminals” rhetoric?

While it’s wise to be wary of comparing current events to the Holocaust, it’s also wise to recognize that the Holocaust didn’t start with gas chambers. It started with “othering,” scapegoating, and fear-mongering. We have to be watchful not only for signs of atrocity, but for the signs leading up to it.

Lesson 5: Teaching full and accurate history matters

There are people who deny that the Holocaust even happened, which is mind-boggling. But there are far more people who are ignorant to the true horrors of it. Reading first-hand accounts of both the people who survived the camps and those who liberated them is perhaps the best way to begin to grasp the scope of what happened.

One small example is Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower’s attempt to describe what he saw when he visited Ohrdruf, a sub-camp of Buchenwald:

“The things I saw beggar description. While I was touring the camp I encountered three men who had been inmates and by one ruse or another had made their escape. I interviewed them through an interpreter. The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were so overpowering as to leave me a bit sick. In one room, where they were piled up twenty or thirty naked men, killed by starvation, George Patton would not even enter. He said that he would get sick if he did so. I made the visit deliberately, in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to ‘propaganda.'”

And of course, the most important narratives to read and try to digest are the accounts of those who survived the camps. Today, 200 survivors of Auschwitz gathered to commemorate the 75th anniversary of its liberation. They warned about the rise in anti-Semitism in the world and how we must not let prejudice and hatred fester. Imagine having to make such a warning seven decades after watching family and friends being slaughtered in front of you.

Let’s use this anniversary as an opportunity to dive deeper into what circumstances and environment enabled millions of people to be killed by one country’s leadership. Let’s learn the lessons the Holocaust has to teach us about human nature and our place in the creation of history. And let’s make darn sure we do everything in our power to fend off the forces that threaten to lead us down a similarly perilous path.

This article originally appeared on 01.27.20

Artist Haley Morris-Cafiero describes herself on her website as “part performer, part artist, part provocateur, part spectator.” Her recent project, titled “Wait Watchers” has elements of all her self-descriptors.

In an email to us, Morris-Cafiero explained that she set up a camera in the street and stood in front of it, doing mundane activities like looking at a map or eating gelato. While she’s standing there she sets off her camera, taking hundreds of photos.

Later, she looks through them and sees what is happening around her. Morris-Cafiero finds that people are often looking at her body, or commenting on it with their gaze or body language, at times even appearing to mock her.

“I then examine the images to see if any of the passersby had a critical or questioning element in their face or body language.”

“I consider my photographs a social experiment and I reverse the gaze back on to the stranger and place the viewer in the position of being a witness to a moment in time. The project is a performative form of street photography,” she writes.

Her work has been exhibited across the U.S. and abroad.

She also published her book, The Watchers, which shows her photo collection and includes comments made to her about her body from passerby.

You can see that even people in positions of authority, like this police officer, feel comfortable mocking her just for being out in public.

Though she’s not looking at the people around her, Morris-Cafiero’s photographs capture a split second in time that really crystalizes how people relate to one another on the street and the judgment she receives from strangers.

In galleries, with the words beside them, the photos are even more pointed. She also includes the positive words she receives from people who have experienced discrimination for their size or any other aspect to their body that is consistently bothered by the dominant culture.

Though we all theoretically know that people, women in particular, are discriminated against for their size, seeing it captured in photographs is gut-wrenching:

The project has gone viral as people identify with Morris-Cafiero’s experience, which means a lot of people relate to being stared at and commented on by folks who should mind their own business. Does that include you? You can check out more of her incredible work here.

This article originally appeared on 11.28.22

Becca Moore is a popular TikToker with over 800,000 followers who’s known for her funny, laid-back takes on dating. Like any influencer-type she was at the Coachella music and arts festival in Indio, California recently. While she was at Coachella, she was robbed of her phone, rental car keys and wallet.

“I went to Coachella this weekend and I thought this guy was kinda hitting on me but then he just robbed me,” Becca says at the beginning of her three-minute TikTok video with over 3 million views. After the festival, she was left with no ride, money, or means to get in contact with friends and family. She was stranded in the desert.

Becca’s friend’s hotel called her an Uber so she could get to a local store to buy a new phone. The driver she was incredibly lucky to be connected with was a lot more than a guy with a car in a time of need, he was a guardian angel named Raul Torres from Fresno, California, six hours north of Indio.

“A normal Uber driver takes you to a place and then drops you off. He insisted on coming in with me and making sure that I was going to have a ride after that,” Becca said.

The store wasn’t able to get her a new phone because she didn’t have access to her current plan. But Raul wouldn’t give up, so he took her to the local police station where they were able to locate the Airbnb where the thief was staying. The police let them into the room and they searched it but couldn’t find the phone.

@becccamooore

the uber driver that saved me from going missing is @buds4u559!! 😭 after spending the day w him he told me his daughter is a senior in high school & is having a hard time going through chemo. i made a gofundme, he could’ve left me and didn’t have to help me the way he did! I’d love to help his fam give his daughter a normal end to her senior year of high school this year (prom!!) i’m putting it in my bio!!

After the big let-down, Becca and Raul decided to take a break from their quest and refresh their spirits with some margaritas, on Raul. “Just because he’s an angel on this Earth,” Becca said in her TikTok video.

While the two bonded over drinks, Raul told Becca his daughter had been battling cancer and that’s why he’s been working as an Uber driver. “He told me all he wants is for his daughter to have a normal end to her senior year, and to be able to go to big events like prom and graduation,” Becca said.

Raul also revealed that his father had cancer as well.

His revelations put Becca’s troubles in perspective and made his decision to drop his driving for the day to help Becca all the more incredible.

@becccamooore

thank god he refused to leave me 😭 raul’s tiktok is @buds4u559. also you can donate to the fam in my bio!! thank you all for your donations and generosity. you today, me tomorrow!! #TipsForRaul

After the final slurps of their margaritas, Becca still wasn’t sure how she’d get home. But Raul wouldn’t give up. “We’re getting your phone,” he exclaimed. He drove her back to the thief’s Airbnb where she found the phone sitting on top of the outside gate. Becca believes the robber abandoned the phone after realizing the police were involved. Then, Raul helped Becca get a rental car so she could get home. Before saying their goodbyes, the two had spent eight hours together.

“Raul ended his Uber shift that morning to spend his day helping me, expecting nothing in return,” she said in her TikTok video. So she used her considerable audience to ask followers to help contribute to a GoFundMe page for Raul and his family. Over the first 4 days, the campaign has raised over $144,000.

“When I was in the car with him it seemed like we were both so focused on my situation. We were only talking about me getting a phone and like things that did not matter. And he completely glazed over the fact that his daughter and his dad were the ones that needed help,” she admitted.

On Friday, April 29, Raul’s dad passed away from cancer.

The story of Becca and Raul is a great reminder that no matter how big our troubles seem, it’s always important to put them in perspective.

This story originally appeared on 05.03.22

There are some people who just don’t like to be told what to do. I myself fall into this category, and there’s really no rhyme or reason to how irrationally stubborn it makes me to be told to do something. Giving an order for me to do something that I was about to do anyway is a surefire way to ensure I don’t do it out of spite. It’s nonsensical.

But one woman on Reddit has taken that level of irrational irritation at being told what to do and cranked it up a notch by doing exactly as she was told. Exactly. This is malicious compliance on a level that just might leave her husband in tears. The post was shared by u/Livy5000, titled, “Husband demands me to tell him everything that happens in my day.”

Can you guess where this is going? It didn’t result in an argument as most would think. In fact, Livy didn’t argue at all, but what she did probably made her husband wish she yelled at him instead.

The irritated wife simply did as she was told. According to her post, she began telling her husband everything that happened throughout her day. It was malicious compliance at its peak.

Malicious compliance is “strictly following the orders of a superior despite knowing that compliance with the orders will have an unintended or negative result. It usually implies following an order in such a way that ignores or otherwise undermines the order’s intent, but follows it to the letter,” according to Wikipedia.

It’s clearly a way to make the person giving the order regret their decision, sort of like Livy’s husband did, almost immediately.

“I told him everything from waking up, to walking to the bathroom, breathing, doing number 1 and 2. Washing hands, drying hands ect.,” Livy writes. “You get the point. I will give him credit he lasted 3 days, then begged me to stop.”

It’s strange that he asked for her to tell him everything that happens in her day but then changed his mind. Maybe he didn’t mean everything? Livy pointed out that he apologized profusely and begged for forgiveness when her very detailed play-by-plays continued.

Commenters were quick to jump in to not only laugh but to tell their own stories of malicious compliance.

“It really sent me how you told him not only about washing your hands but about drying them,” one person says.

“My niece, in a fit of anger, told her parents to never speak to her again. They complied. Thing is, she loved being the center of attention and could not stand being ignored. She finally asked them why they weren’t talking to her and they told her they were complying with her wishes. She got the point,” another writes.

There were some commenters who were concerned about Livy’s safety as she used the word “demand,” but she reassured people that she did not mean for it to sound as if he was controlling. She clarified that they’ve been working on communication and she is thankful that he’s a best friend to whom she can feel comfortable telling anything.

But this goes to show that demanding anyone do anything is a quick way to jump to extreme passive-aggressive responses. Maybe next time he’ll just ask for more detail in certain parts of their conversations.

On one hand, parenting a toddler is like wrangling a tornado—it’s loud, messy, prone to destruction and totally unpredictable. On the other hand, toddlers are tiny beacons of non-stop, hilarious, heart-squishing adorableness that make you wish you had a camera on them 24/7.

But what if the toddler was the one behind the camera? What would we see through their eyes?

Mom Ally Dore gave us an inside peek at a 2-year-old’s perspective when she handed her daughter her phone and told her to take pictures of things that she loves. The results were adorable, of course, but also surprisingly moving.

Seeing the world through a child’s eyes is so simple and so wonderful. Her first beloved things of note were her parents, shortly followed by a half-eaten chicken nugget. Sounds about right. She took a photo of her favorite movies and shows, her xylophone, her foot in a sandal (Does she love the foot or the sandal or both?) and a bunch of other family members.

Then finally, a selfie that put some folks straight into their feelings. Watch:

See on Instagram

Many adults struggle to love themselves—not in a narcissistic way, but in a healthy self-worth kind of way. The simple boldness of this little one taking a photo of herself in a collection of things she loves is just lovely. She has not yet experienced the world telling her in a million ways she’s not worthy. She hasn’t been taught or trained or conditioned to think of herself as unlovable, and it’s refreshing to see.

“I absolutely love that she took a picture of herself! Well done little one!” wrote one commenter.

“[I don’t know] why but that made me tear up 🥹🥹 I just hope that cutie loves herself like that forever (which people tend to forget as they grow) 🥹,” shared another.

“Never let her stop loving herself… Including her foot 😂,” wrote another.

People loved that she included the chicken nugget—because of course—and were impressed with her photography skills. One person also pointed out that this exercise is a great way to get to know your kids better (perhaps especially kids who aren’t particularly verbal).

It’s beautiful to see the world through a young child’s eyes, and if nothing else, it’s a good reminder to maintain our sense of wonder and appreciation for the small joys in life.