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Washington Wizards Offseason Report Card

The Washington Wizards have been the most active team in the NBA this offseason, as their new front office has gone to work taking things apart in the team’s first real rebuilding effort in more than a decade.

While you can question how successful they’ve been (we’ll get to that momentarily), what has to be applauded is that they have finally picked a direction for this franchise. This is a team that has not won 50 games since the late 1970s and while they enjoyed some success early in the John Wall-Bradley Beal era, things had deteriorated recently to where they were the poster child for mediocrity in the NBA. What the future holds for Washington could very well be determined by lottery balls, but for now the Wizards at least seem to have a long-term plan in place. This offseason has been a wild ride, but they do come into the 2023 season with an interesting roster. It isn’t a full teardown to the studs in Washington, but more an aggressive remodel (that likely takes them towards the bottom of the East) with some mild swings on young players they hope just need a change of scenery to thrive.

Here, we’ll grade out the Wizards’ effort this summer in the Draft, free agency, and on the trade market.

Draft: B

The Wizards took one of the bigger swings of the lottery when they moved up a pick with the Pacers in order to take Bilal Coulibaly, who flew up draft boards as teams got a look at him while watching Victor Wembanyama. Coulibaly is a defender first, with a ton of length and athleticism on the wing. On a team with some strong offensive players, adding a strong defender makes sense even with it being a high risk-reward pick, as our Brad Rowland explained on Draft night giving Washington a B for the selection.

This is an aggressive move and choice from Washington. While this range of the draft is perceived as relatively flat, Coulibaly was seen as a fringe first-round pick only a few weeks and months ago before a meteoric rise. His athletic and physical tools are outstanding, and Coulibaly could be a tremendous defender as a result. The questions come more on offense, where he has operated in a very small overall role playing with Metropolitans 92.

Free Agency/Contract Extensions: B

The Wizards made most of their moves on the trade market, which we’ll get to momentarily, but they did make one major signing, bringing Kyle Kuzma back on a 4-year, $102 million deal. It was a great deal for Kuzma, who got a nine-figure deal in one of the flattest free agent markets we’ve seen in some time. I also think it was a perfectly solid deal for the Wizards, who can pair Kuzma with Jordan Poole and Tyus Jones for something approaching a functional young core — albeit, time will tell if they stick together. Kuzma has steadily grown into being a very solid starting wing and should they spin the tires the next few years and not take the strides forward Washington wants, that contract will be very movable in the final couple years. I don’t think this was some steal for the Wizards, but it was solid work both in the short- and long-term.

Trades: C-

It’s certainly been an active trade summer for the Wizards, and this grade is less a reflection on the work this new front office has done and more with the position the old regime put them in. Giving Bradley Beal the only true no-trade clause in the NBA was malpractice, as they weren’t bidding against anyone else when signing him to the supermax (a contract only they could offer him). By allowing him to dictate where he was traded, they cratered his trade value (which was already questionable on a deal that big as is) and the result was only being able to extract Chris Paul, Landry Shamet, six second round picks, and some first round pick swaps from the Suns — which includes the 2024 pick that I have to assume is worthless for the Wizards to have). Again, that’s the best this front office could do under the circumstances, but it’s far below the value Bradley Beal should have in a trade.

Then they traded Kristaps Porzingis to the Boston Celtics, ending up with Tyus Jones from the Grizzlies as the centerpiece of the deal. I actually liked this deal pretty well for all three teams involved, as Jones will give the Wizards a very solid point guard who has proven he can run a young team in his time with Memphis where he’s filled in admirably in Ja Morant’s various absences. They’ll get a chance to find out if Jones can be a high-quality starter in the NBA or if he’s better served as a very good sixth man, but that’s a worthwhile swing for a team trying to figure out what their core will be in the future. Not being able to get a single first round pick for Beal or Porzingis is rather jarring, but more a matter of circumstance than anything — and it’s clear they valued still putting a somewhat decent product on the floor, just one that’s considerably younger.

The final major trade was flipping Chris Paul into Jordan Poole, Ryan Rollins, a future second, and a protected first rounder in 2030 from the Warriors. While I’m not particularly high on Poole, I do think this is the exact kind of move the Wizards should be making. I’m not sure a player has needed a fresh start more than Poole, considering he literally got punched in the face by a teammate and then the team chose the guy that punched him in the face over him (which, to be clear, I also understand why the Warriors made that choice). Poole has shown considerable upside as a scorer, but did have a dreadful shooting year last season. His contract is very large, but in a starring role, placed between a solid point guard in Jones and a good wing in Kuzma, this is Poole’s best chance to prove he’s worth that. He has obviously wanted a larger role than he had with the Warriors, and now he should be motivated to prove Golden State wrong for moving him. It’s a high-upside swing on a young player, which is exactly what the Wizards should be doing with their money right now. If it doesn’t work out and he continues to struggle with efficiency, his deal isn’t so unwieldy it’ll block them from making moves down the road, but if he does pop, they’ll be accelerating their rebuild with him already in position.

Flipping Monte Morris into a future second was also definitely a trade that happened. Overall, the Wizards offseason has been very active and not every deal has looked particularly good, but given the circumstances the former regime put them in, I think this new front office has done a perfectly fine job. The hard part of the rebuild is still to come and they weren’t able to fully stock up on draft assets, but you can pretty easily explain why they made all the moves they did. Whether they work out in the way they want is an entirely different question.

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Mexican dad wears pink tutu to ‘Barbie’ screening after being dared to by his daughter

There’s no doubt that pink is the official color of the summer of 2023. Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie,” starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, has people dressing up in the iconic doll’s favorite color to attend screenings across the country and sharing their fabulous snaps on social media.

Andrew Liptak, author of the new book “Cosplay: A History,” says it’s all about having fun and expressing yourself. “By dressing up,” Liptak told Yahoo Entertainment, “you’re able to bring that story to life a little bit.”

“It’s a form of play, and it’s a form of entertainment, and I think that… we sort of overlook the importance of play and to have fun and to relax and just enjoy ourselves,” Liptak continues. “And this is an outlet to do that.”


Eleazar Rodríguez Hernández, a dad in Mexico, is making fans across the world after going viral for a hilarious picture of him dressed up to see “Barbie” in a pink leotard and tutu combo, complete with a cowboy hat and boots. The photos were taken at the Cinépolis cinema in Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas, México, on Friday, July 2023.

He says it was all because of his daughter.

“My daughter said, ‘Daddy take me to the premiere of ‘Barbie,’ but wear something pink or are you too embarrassed?” he wrote on Facebook. “I think the one who’s going to be embarrassed is her!” he joked.

In another photo of Hernández and his daughter, the two stand at the ticket counter, and he accompanied the post with a mock conversation.

“’What movie do you want to see?”

“The Super Mario Bros Movie, idiot!’

“Barbie” is a big hit at the Mexican box office. It pulled in $23 million in the first four days of its release, more than five times more than second-place “Oppenheimer.” Needless to say, “Barbenheimer” isn’t quite the phenomenon in Mexico as it is in the U.S.

Hernández wasn’t a bit ashamed to proudly wear his tutu into the movie that Alicia Gilstorf from Eulalie Magazine calls “a healing cinema experience that explores the psyche of not being enough while delivering an infectious performance that makes us feel like we could do anything.”

“Believe me, wearing pink clothes and a tutu does not make you any less of a man,” he wrote on Facebook.

Hernández’s posts have received a lot of love, if not for his fashion sense but for his bravery and commitment to his daughter.

“Respect to my buddy Eleazar Rodriguez Hernandez. You are exemplary, and the best of all is that you love your princess. You have all my respect and admiration,” Jorge E. Sanchez wrote in response to the post.

“What a beautiful memory. Your daughter will value it very much in the future. He is a dad worth millions,” Enit Fabiola Solis added.

But in the end, it was all about a father’s love for his daughter. “I made these posts without wanting to highlight myself. I just did what my daughter wanted,” Hernández said. “I would do anything for her. She was so happy.”

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Elon Musk’s Twitter Rebranding Keeps Getting More Chaotic, As Indonesia Has Blocked ‘X’ Due To Anti-Pornography Laws

On Saturday night, while most people were out and about, Elon Musk was announcing yet another major change to Twitter: It would soon rebrand as something called “X.” Was it a decision he made impulsively? Maybe not, but the move has been anything but smooth. Musk failed to make certain basic preparations before the shift. That includes checking on whether or not it violated a major rule in a certain country.

As per The Daily Beast, on Tuesday Twitter (or whatever it’s called now) was suddenly banned in Indonesia. Why? Because it’s new domain, X.com, used to belong to a site devoted to adult content. The nation has very strict anti-porn laws, which meant that the 24 million citizens who use Twitter were suddenly locked out.

That probably won’t be permanent. The Indonesian government reportedly reached out to Elon Musk to clarify that X.com will be used for tweeting, not disseminating hardcore material. One reason for the law is that Indonesia has the largest Muslim population on the planet.

Twitter/X isn’t the only major online service to have run afoul of Indonesia’s strict laws. Last year authorities threatened Netflix, Facebook, Google, and Instagram if they didn’t detail what content appeared on their sites. Twitter was also part of the same round-up. Each site managed to comply by their rules.

In the meantime, it could be worse for those currently Twitter-less in the southeast Asian country. They could work at the social media service’s headquarters, where conference rooms have been cringingly renamed to reflect the name change, with such examples as “eXposure” and “s3xy.”

(Via The Daily Beast)

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Aaron Rodgers Signed A New, Smaller Contract With The Jets To Create More Space

As training camps open around the NFL, we’ve seen a number of players working with teams to restructure their deals to open up more cap space to make signings and moves to upgrade the roster. While this usually involves converting salary into bonuses and other cap magic (because, as the Saints and others have made clear for years, the salary cap in the NFL is mostly a myth), on occasion a player will straight up take a pay cut for the betterment of the team.

On Wednesday, we learned Aaron Rodgers was doing just that, as he worked out a new deal with the New York Jets worth $75 million over the next two years, a serious drop off from the $110 million he was guaranteed on his old deal from the Packers, in order to maximize the Jets chances to add some more talent around him.

The deal shifts his base salary to just under $2 million this year with $35 million in bonus coming his way shortly, per Tom Pelissero.

One would think the Jets and Rodgers have someone specific in mind to sign if he’s taking a pay cut, and we’ll have to wait to see who they add to the roster during camp that makes this worth it for Rodgers. It’s quite the commitment to the Jets from their new quarterback, who seems to be putting his full faith in the New York front office to add the players around him to make this a contender.

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NBA Summer Vacation Watch: The Stars Are Away, Not Renewing Their Contracts

Sunseekers, hello! After a little bit of a gap to attend, and subsequently recover from, the great summer vacation destination of the NBA world in NBA Summer League – and then, more refined, WNBA All-Star – we’re (I’m) back!

It’s been a busy few weeks since we last caught up here and got each other’s backs with sunscreen. Most notably, some of the league’s biggest stars finally went on vacation! A few to the chagrin of their waiting fan bases, and salivating hopeful future fanbases, because their names are tied up in trade rumors. However, as you know, we don’t give a good beach pergola to that kind of stuff here. So please, sit back, imagine you’re on a lazy river, and let’s dive in.

Damian Lillard

Dame Time said it’s Break Time and whisked his beautiful family away for some fun in the sun that included infinity pools, jet skis, golf carts, palatial green lawns in full view of the ocean, and zip lines. I can’t and don’t ever want to stop watching this video of Lillard slowly rolling (how is he going so slow, isn’t the point of those things to go fast? The sheer physical mastery of this man!) down a zipline in sunglasses like he’s casually dropping into the most impossible mission of all – having the time of his life.

Rating: Come for the slow zips, stay for the shadow boxing to get himself amped for the slow zips.

Jimmy Butler

https://www.instagram.com/jimmybutler/?hl=en

Jimmy China
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Jimmy dragon
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We love our coffee king turned communist king, don’t we folks! Jimmy Butler has been in China for what feels like weeks now, as part of his Li Ning partnership. There have been plenty of red flags whipping in the wind, meeting fans, good food, Jimmy dancing as a traditional dragon, and shoes getting thrown at Jimmy’s head. Jk, that only happened once and it just seemed like someone got too excited.

Rating: Zhù nǐ yǒu gè yúkuài de xiàtiān! I think.

Devin Booker

Booker buggy
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Booker buggy 2
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Booker continues his flair for rustic ass trips unbated. This time, he hopped in a dune buggy and trundled around some dirt trails, recording it all the while in a filter that made it look like he was in a Nirvana music video.

Rating: Smells like gasoline fumes and probably pine needles.

Paul George

George helicopter
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Podcast P was vacationing in and around Perast, in Montenegro. There, he took a helicopter ride.

George cat 2
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George cat
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Then met a little cat at dinner.

Boban beer
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Then, and most importantly, met up with Boban! If there was ever a photo that made you want to believe in a simplified concept of heaven, that is, where people are just waiting for you somewhere nice and smiling when you get there, this one is it.

Rating: Why is the bread box so big and the glasses so small? Who cares, it’s heaven!

Donovan Mitchell

Mitchell Spain
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Mitchell was taking part in the NBPA’s The Sanctuary program, but once school was out, he took to the Spanish countryside with real emocion.

He made stops in Barcelona, Madrid, got on stage with Arcángel, and has since bopped over to Milan.

Mitchell Italy
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Rating: This is really making the most out of a work trip, and we applaud him for it.

Ben Simmons

Simmons fish
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Simmons fish 2
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Nothing like a batch of “Ben Simmons is fishing” photos to let us know that while the natural world may be crumbling around us, the NBA universe is balanced.

Rating: “Catch n cook kind of day” feels like an ominous Bumble caption, but he’s put it over the ubiquitous Bumble photo to save everyone some time.

D’Angelo Russell

DLo and his cute fam went to Croatia, and a lot of Lakers fans got upset because he didn’t sign his deal yet. Like, DoN’T tHey HaVe DoCuSigN? Like, I’m sure they do but I hope they don’t. I hope they’ve never heard of it. I hope the concept of digitizing a contract and signing it with a generic signature that isn’t even your own doesn’t exist here and never does. But if they, and by extension D’Angelo Russell, finally do hear about it, this is the photo of him before he launches himself into space because you ruined his vacation.

Russell goggles
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Rating: Hope you’re happy.

Bam Adebayo

Birthdays themselves don’t typically make it into SVW, but when you live in Miami and your birthday happens on a boat, where you happily sway toward your birthday cupcake tower and spend a very picturesque hangover the next day, they do.

Rating: The puke emoji really is the icing on this cupcake tower.

Trae Young

Trae Young got married! Quavo performed! His public photos aren’t that wild so let’s move onto his teammates who were in attendance!

Rating: Trying to decide if a Knicks fan could still do the F Trae Young chant here, but sincerely, like, choking up?

Clint Capela

Capela boat
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Clint Capela did go to the wedding but before that he also took a cruise around on a boat with Bogdan Bogdanovic. Then posed and caught up with friends and work colleagues at the wedding, like De’Aaron Fox.

Capela wedding
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And then he cut a fuuuuuucking rug (captured by Dejounte Murray).

Capela dance
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Rating: Look at those goth boots! One unsung hero of summer vacation colliding with a summer wedding is just pulling out the wildest outfits that time, space and occasion would otherwise never allow.

Furkan Korkmaz

I don’t really know what to do with this sunglasses dump by Korkmaz other than to say POV: you reading NBA SVW.

Rating: So thanks, Furk, and merry Korkmaz!

Jeremy Sochan

Sochan Cayman
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Sochan ocean
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Sochan took a trip to the Cayman Islands and unselfconsciously filmed himself walking into the ocean, which as far as filming yourself walking into the ocean goes, is probably 2nd or 3rd on the list.

Rating: For the full draft, and redraft, you’ll have to read this column every summer for the rest of your life.

Pascal Siakam

Siakam moon
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Frankly I think it’s pretty smart to just straight up extend your summer vacation when the franchise you belong to starts tossing your name around in trades, and your best friend and longest running teammate decides to leave the country and go play, basically, at the bottom of the same continent you’re on.

Rating: Ladies, we know a introspective full moon pic when we see one, don’t we!

Boban Marjanović

Boban zip
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Other than making a cameo in Paul Geroge’s vacation and making me briefly consider the concept of heaven, Boban Marjanovic is having a pretty sweet summer unto himself. He went ziplining too, and while it’s unfortunately not a video I have to think he went a bit faster than Dame.

Boban jet ski
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He piled on a jet ski for a Banana Boat Euro remix (yes, the guy driving is bleeding from the head).

And he, a fellow sun seeker, took in the sun.

Boban boat
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Rating: And it’s not even August!

Reggie Bullock

Bullock pool
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Thank you Reggie.

Rating: I’m glad he didn’t extend this to “vacation”, because the lames need them to be shared.

Serge Ibaka

Serge Seoul
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Serge is in Seoul! Not sure why but you know he was looking good and mysterious and probably figuring out how to up his skincare regime.

Rating: If that’s even possible????

Myles Turner

Turner comiccon
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Big news: Myles Turner went to his first ComicCon! Turner, who is a self professed huge nerd, loves lego, Star Wars, and I think some to most of Marvel, so I’m not sure why he dressed up like a goth mime, but it looked like he had a wonderful time.

Rating: I know this character must have something to do with puzzles etc., and while I’ll spend way too long geolocating a specific stretch of turquoise waters to figure out where a guy is roving around on a borrowed yacht, I won’t look this one up.

Norman Powell

The boy’s trip we brought you last dispatch was still going strong, which is great because it gave Powell a chance to bust out all the matching vacation sets he packed.

Rating: Truly nothing worse than not having enough occasions on vacation to wear all your little vacation outfits on!

Jusuf Nurkic

Nurk alert! The big fella was chilling, most likely, on the Adriatic Sea, or else on the shores of a gorgeous Bosnian lake. Look at this sherbert set! Look at this tan! Look at that tiny car and picture him getting into it!

Rating: Tell me it’s Leo season without telling me it’s Leo season!

Terry Rozier

Terry crown
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Scary Terry, whomst???

Rating: New NBA heaven is missing one angel.

Frank Ntilikina

May I please draw your attention to slides 2, 5, and 8. If the Tour de France could turn into whatever blissed out bucolic straight out of an Agnès Varda film scene this is, I would start to build bicycles.

Rating: Fun in the grind Positive energy only

Marco Belinelli

Yeah yeah, he’s not in the league anymore but is there anyone, anywhere, who doesn’t want to know what Marco Belinelli is getting up to in his summers? And can you imagine that person, how bummed out they would be if they found out it was THIS and nobody told them??

Rating: Just happy for them they have this column, and happy for this column that we have Marco Beinelli, shark boy.

Dwyane Wade

Wade waterski
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Admittedly I watched this one with a bit of a strained smile, like when you watch your parents doing an adventurous (for them) activity and you don’t want to betray your concern, because you don’t want them to accidentally catch you and go, “What, what?!” and them to take a tumble.

Rating: I know Dwyane Wade can’t see me.

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Barbenheimer Diaries: We Did The ‘Barbie’/‘Oppenheimer’ Double Feature And Lived To Tell About It

Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, so too does a viral meme, delighting in the dichotomy of two antithetical blockbusters, boost the summer box office. She may be Barbie, he may be “just Ken Oppenheimer” but together, Greta Gerwig’s Barbie and Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer (both cinematic triumphs) have done something even Tom Cruise couldn’t: It’s made moviegoing an experience again.

Over the weekend, crowds flocked to theaters, dressed in all things pink, glittering and giddy to see Margot Robbie transform into a plastic doll on a feminist journey to sentience. But before (or after) that visit to Barbie Land, plenty of moviegoers dined on the profound, philosophical musings of Nolan’s historical biopic. Whether watching Cillian Murphy torture himself as the father of the atomic bomb was the amuse bouche to Barbie’s flat-footed walkabout in the real world, or a sobering shot of espresso to help better digest the sugary sweetness of witnessing Ryan Gosling play a horse-loving himbo, the outcome was the same. Barbie made Oppenheimer more fun, Oppenheimer made Barbie more interesting.

And because these two bombshells are inextricably intertwined, it’s only right that they be enjoyed together in a one-day viewing filled with stale popcorn, themed mimosas, and hastily bought merch to commemorate the occasion. This is D-Day for introverts, an event as significant as the moon landing for people with no hobbies and a love for cinema.

This is Barbenheimer. And these are the musings from one critic on the front lines of the action who took the double-feature phenomenon almost too seriously – prepping for it the way an endurance athlete might train for a triathlon. (Or, at the very least, the same way that guy who eats 60+ hot dogs at Coney Island every year does.) One day, our grandchildren will thank us for preserving this account of history.

Friday, July 21, 2023

7:42 p.m. – People who claim to “enjoy” their workouts are not to be trusted. But, I’ve suffered through and my reward is pizza followed by a gas station trip to purchase cigarettes with my best friend, J. I don’t smoke, something that becomes readily apparent when I misname American Spirit as “a pack of Arizona cigarettes.” To be fair, their packaging colors are desert-hued.

7:43 p.m. – J laughs at my blunder but applauds my choice. “At least they’re organic.”

9 p.m. – We watch a documentary about J. Robert Oppenheimer on Peacock. This guy had the cheekbones of a god. I see why Nolan was fascinated by him. Also, Joseph McCarthy – what a hater.

10:53 p.m. – Time to anxiously spiral over the world’s growing nuclear arsenal before tomorrow’s morning showing of Oppenheimer. I eventually doze off and sleep surprisingly well. The threat of a world-ending war just doesn’t hit like it used to.

Saturday, July 22, 2023

10:29 a.m. – J and I pick up our friend Y who has agreed to partake in this cinematic experiment. We’re wearing the Barbenheimer T-shirts I bought for us weeks ago. Each is slightly different but we’ve all got pink mushroom clouds and plastic children’s toys littering our fronts so we’ll be easily recognizable to the Mission Impossible crowd. If there is one.

10:43 a.m. – We’ve chugged our coffees in the car. I wanted to go full method and drink it hot, black, and with little sugar the way a rail-thin Jewish genius like Oppenheimer might, but I’m too soft. I cave and add oat milk.

10:46 a.m. — Inside you are two wolves, I think as I smoke a cigarette in the parking lot, holding a Barbie in one hand and a pocket lighter in the other. Y surprised us by bringing over the dolls last night. They’re technically Chelseas, but we don’t tell him that.

11 a.m. – We’re seated in a crowded theater … on a Saturday … at 11 a.m. Zack Snyder could never. We’ve met a few fellow Barbenheimer participants and make plans to see them at the 3:30 p.m. showing of Barbie. They spotted us in the lobby and sought us out. Our shirts are working.

11:04 a.m. – Nolan launches into things with the recitation of Prometheus stealing fire from the gods and giving it to mankind. So, you know, we’re rawdogging this thing.

11:30 a.m. – From here, the timeline gets a bit murky. I’m engrossed in the minutiae of academic life – the lectures, the failed lab experiments, the poisoned apples. I know the takeaway should be that Oppenheimer was a tortured genius who struggled to find his place amongst his peers early in his career. Instead, I come away with this observation:

Watching Cillian Murphy stare despondently into a camera for three hours is really the best advertisement for buccal fat removal. I don’t believe that man could’ve killed hundreds of thousands of people – or pulled off a pork pie fedora – with jowls.

11:43 a.m. – Y, J, and I have all commented on the number of thirst traps in this movie. Nolan told these boys they were going to wear tweed vests, flowy pants, and frameless spectacles like little scientific sluts and we must thank him for that.

11:51 a.m. – Y leans over to ask whether Albert Einstein really knew Oppenheimer. “I thought he was alive during Shakespeare’s time.”

12:15 p.m. – Internally, I’m begging Christopher Nolan to never attempt a sex scene again. Externally, I’m praising Florence Pugh, who looks terrific and saves those intimate scenes from being total embarrassments.

12:57 p.m. – Some time ago, the scientists in the film discovered they could split atoms. It reminds me of another life-changing epiphany I scrolled across on Twitter yesterday. Watermelon really is just summer pumpkin.

1:12 p.m. – Josh Hartnett renaissance, when?

1:14 p.m. – Emily Blunt has been a drunk baby-hater this entire film and I love that for her. Her interrogation scene is so good, it reminds me to start a petition later to send to Hollywood once the WGA and SAG win this strike: Let Emily Blunt Act In Movies Again.

1:39 p.m. – There’s so much to love about this film but above all, its use of sound is what sets it apart. The quiet before the bomb’s detonation reaches the bunker rattles your bones. The atoms fissuring feel like a rat’s claws scratching your brain. It’s terrible and lovely. I look up the film’s composer to thank him. Of course, his name is Ludwig.

1:45 p.m. – No tongue that rises against Alden Ehrenreich shall prosper, I whisper quietly to myself as Young Han Solo smirks while watching Robert Downey Jr. choke on his own haterade.

2:08 p.m. – The movie ends. We wait another five minutes for the senior citizens seated below us to file out while affirming each other’s opinion that yes, movies these days just don’t have enough real bombs in them. Take note studios.

2:16 p.m. – We walk over to a spot called Brunches for, well, brunch. It’s Barbie-themed so we ordered sparkling mimosas and milky pink shots with whipped cream before chowing down on eggs benedict and blueberry waffles. As the historical expert of the group – I watched that Peacock documentary, remember – I explain McCarthyism, the Red Scare, why Communism and Fascism aren’t the same thing, and, less confidently, the difference between atomic bombs and hydrogen bombs. So many teachers said I wouldn’t amount to much. Their silence now is deafening.

2:45 p.m. – As our waitress brings the check, J says, “I think I want to get into Hitler. What was this dude’s deal?” We make sure to tip well.

3:15 p.m. – We’ve put bomb talk away and are now toting our Barbies to the 3:30 showing of Greta Gerwig’s soon-to-be Oscar-winning masterpiece. The place is even more crowded. Moms are with daughters. Groups of Gays loiter in the lobby. Even some cis hetero white men are here! Barbie really is of the people, for the people.

3:42 p.m. – I’m delighted the Stanley Kubrick homage made it into the film. Smash those baby dolls girls!

3:50 p.m. — “All problems of feminism and equal rights have been solved” – Men, you do not have permission to laugh with the rest of us here.

4:10 p.m. – It’s kind of Cronenbergian how good Margot Robbie is at playing a perfect, lifeless doll. How dare she not have an Oscar.

4:30 p.m. – We’re an hour into the film and as of yet, no Barbies have scissored each other. I feel like Tyra Banks screaming at an America’s Next Top Model contestant. Greta, we were rooting for you!

4:32 p.m. — Ken doesn’t want to be with Barbie, he wants to BE Barbie – and isn’t that the most succinct summation of societal inequality we could glean from this movie? He’s now discovered patriarchy – and horses. This won’t end well.

4:41 p.m. — Depression Barbie, Anxiety Barbie, OCD Barbie – where’s the Barbie that has all three? That’s real representation.

4:45 p.m. – Sure, America Ferrara’s empowering monologue is Feminist Lite, but tell that to the movie theater that just erupted in cheers after she gave voice to the paradoxical existence that is womanhood.

4:53 p.m. – When brainwashed Physicist Barbie Emma Mackey enthusiastically accepts an offer to wear pants after being freed from a skimpy maid uniform, it felt like Betty Friedan’s “problem with no name” might have been solved.

4:58 p.m. – Mojo Dojo Casa Houses. Mini fridge meltdowns. Singin’ in the Rain-style dance-offs. It’s almost chauvinistic how good Ryan Gosling is in this movie. He did not have to Ken that hard.

5:05 p.m. – The entire theater is a blubbering mess as a montage of little girls and women plays on-screen so that Barbie can understand her choice to be human. I might have uttered Bob Odenkirk’s iconic line, “My little women …” out loud. “Achy but good,” is how I will now describe every Greta Gerwig film.

Final thoughts:

I learned more watching Oppenheimer but I thought more watching Barbie. I was the idea in one, I did the imagining in the other. But this experience was never meant to pit the two films against each other. In a weird way, watching both in one day added context and meaning to each movie. It was a slog, five hours of sitting in a thinly cushioned seat staring at bright lights, surrounded by darkness, the sniffling proof of housewives and mothers finally feeling seen, and one poor soul who gave up halfway through Nolan’s epic by stretching out across three chairs and taking an expensive nap. But, it was worth it.

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Memphis Storyteller AR The Mermaid Talks Anime, Yoga, And Her Debut EP, ‘Watt We Doingg’

From its inception, rap music has been about telling stories. 50 years ago, in those park jam freestyles, the participants rhymed about their lives and circumstances, either in gritty detail or in exaggerated, larger-than-life self-mythology. They rhymed to entertain and to inform – and occasionally, to battle, to sharpen their skills, or prove their dominance.

So much has changed in the 50 years since hip-hop’s codified introduction at that house party in the Bronx. But one thing remains constant; rap is a storytelling genre. You could be the wittiest rapper in the world, with enough breath control to recover the wreckage of a downed submersible and a photographic memory of every word in the thesaurus. But if you have no story, you’re nobody.

AR The Mermaid describes herself primarily as a storyteller. Hailing from Memphis, the launching pad for horrorcore trap and triplet flows, AR (her real name’s Ariel, hence the nickname) does her city history proud, but always approaches her music from the standpoint of relaying a narrative to get her point across. “That’s what we do in Memphis,” she says. “We tell stories.”

During a Zoom call to discuss the impending release of her debut EP for 300 Entertainment, Watt We Doingg, AR details her wide-ranging influences and unique look, as well as the impact of her first two singles, “Sneaky Link” and “Suki.” Those influences include not just the Memphis rap standards of Three 6 Mafia’s Gangsta Boo and La Chat, but also contemporary inspirations such as thrash rapper Rico Nasty and Houston indie rap icon Sauce Walka.

Those influences are readily apparent across the EP; AR utilizes a distinctive Southern drawl, but her flow is regionless. On first hearing “Sneaky Link,” I couldn’t shake a mental comparison to Gucci Mane – until, that is, she mentioned Sauce Walka during our interview. The parallel clicked into place like a pair of 2×2 Legos. Combine that with a signature, impish look inspired as much by anime as by anything in hip-hop, and there were plenty of compelling reasons to try to learn more about AR.

The elements that make an AR song an AR song, according to the rapper herself are: “My lingo, my flow, it’s going to be very much Memphis, regardless. I saw my voice raspy already, so it’s like it wasn’t no type of ‘put on a voice’ type of shit.” Meanwhile, that look, which includes microblading her eyebrows into little horns – like the ones you’d see on the devil emoji – comes from her favorite Pokémon, the ghost type Gengar.

This has led to some confusion among fans about what the rapper actually stands for – after all, not every rap fan is an anime fan, despite the increasing overlap between both in recent years. In past interviews, she’s expressed annoyance with the misunderstandings – which have been common to fellow punk-inspired artists like Lil Uzi Vert and Doja Cat – especially since her true interest might come as a surprise.

In addition to devouring comedy and horror movies and far-out anime such as the action-packed but fairly gruesome High-Rise Invasion and Tokyo Ghoul, AR is an avid practitioner of yoga. “I started yoga just for my mindset and just my attitude,” she explains. “Just controlling that. Also, for working out, that was my way to start getting into meditation. I love doing yoga because for one, that’s my morning routine anyway. That’s my way of waking myself up, getting active, getting my day started, and thinking about what I’m going to do for the day.”

She even has some advice for those of us who have a little trouble with our own practice. “First off, you start off with stretching,” she tells me. “That’s probably where you going wrong. You trying to go straight into poses, but you got to stretch first, or you’ll be sore.” She isn’t shy about sharing her love for the practice. On Instagram, you can find her relating her “Mermaid Mantras,” like this one: “Hustle don’t come with instructions.”

“It’s in you,” she elaborates of her philosophy on hustle. “It ain’t no shit that you just wake up today and, ‘Oh, I’m hustling.’ But it’s some shit that’s born within you. Every day you getting this cake, you going to think of a way to get this cake.”

When listeners check out “Sneaky Link” and “Suki” – and by extension, the rest of AR’s music when Watt We Doingg drops – one thing they’re liable to notice is that she doesn’t mind directing her bold come-ons as much to the ladies as the fellas. She’s as unapologetic about her sexuality as she is about anything else. And yes, “Suki” is named after fellow raunchy rapper Sukihana, who makes a feature appearance in the video for the song (“I cannot shoot the video without Suki in it,” she enthuses).

But the real goal of the EP is to set a vibe – because what she stands for, more than anything else, is having a good time and making sure listeners do, too. “It’s going to be a mixture, basically we doing little bit of everything,” she says of the sound on the EP. “ I use ‘What We Doing’ for everything. Oh, you ready to party? What we doing?”

AR The Mermaid is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Craft Beer Experts Name The IPAs They Drink All Summer Long

If you took a peek into our coolers this summer, you would find a ton of lagers, wheat beers, pale ales, but mostly IPAs. When it comes to summer beer drinking, we tend to head towards the IPA before any other beer style. The IPA just hits better than most beer styles during the hazy summer months.

West Coast IPAs, milkshake IPAs, New England-style IPAs, we love them all. Maybe it’s the pine and hops. Or, in the case of hazy IPAs, maybe it’s the juicy, citrus, and tropical fruit flavors. Regardless, opening up the cooler at a campsite or backyard barbecue and finding a few IPAs to pick from makes us really happy.

To find the best IPA choices for the remaining summer days, we went to beer professionals for their insight. We asked a few well-known craft beer experts and brewers to tell us the one IPA they drink all summer. Keep scrolling to see all of their warm-weather picks.

Firestone Walker Mind Haze

Firestone Walker Mind Haze
Firestone Walker

James Bruner, certified cicerone and brewing supervisor at Irwindale Brew Yard in Irwindale, California

ABV: 6.2%

Average Price: $12 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Hazy IPAs offer beers with higher hop flavors and aromas leaving behind all the bitterness of traditional IPAs, yielding a smooth, almost creamy mouthfeel from high amounts of wheat and oats in the grain bill. And while some of the best hazies come from brewers like The Alchemist, Treehouse, Trillium, Monkish, and WeldWerks, I think something that is more widely available makes for the perfect summer crusher. You don’t need to waste any time waiting in line or trading with your cousin in Boston when you can easily go to the store and grab a six-pack of Firestone Walker Mind Haze.

Tasting Notes:

It is amazingly hoppy, with stone fruit, citrus, and tropical aromas over bready wheat malts, with none of the bitterness that turns some people away from IPAs. Because of their quality control measures, you are pretty much guaranteed to have a fresh beer in your hands too. What’s not to love?

Bell’s Two-Hearted

Bell’s Two-Hearted
Bell’s

Katie Muggli, founder and executive director of Infinite Ingredient in Minneapolis

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $12 for a six-pack

The Beer:

If I could only drink one IPA for the rest of my life, it’d be the one that made me fall in love with craft beer in the first place. Bell’s Two Hearted first made me swoon as a college student. Every time I revisit it, I find something new to revel in, and its consistency is like a great big hug from an old friend.

Tasting Notes:

It’s beautifully balanced, with a malt backbone that distinctively cradles the bright pine and citrus from the Centennial hops.

Zero Gravity Conehead

Zero Gravity Conehead
Zero Gravity

Joe Mashburn, head brewer of Night Shift Brewing in Boston

ABV: 5.7%

Average Price: $12 for a six-pack

The Beer:

The best IPA that I enjoy drinking in the summer is Conehead by Zero Gravity – a nice and balanced IPA that isn’t overly juicy, isn’t overly bitter, and just right in the middle. Easy to drink a few.

Tasting Notes:

This hoppy, summery beer is highlighted by lemon zest, grapefruit juice, and a ton of pine. A sweet, malty backbone makes this a well-balanced summer IPA.

Offshoot Relax

Offshoot Relax
Offshoot

Neil Willcoxson, head brewer at 8 Bit Brewing Company in Murrieta, California

ABV: 6.8%

Average Price: $16 for a four-pack

The Beer:

Relax by Offshoot Beer Co. It’s a perfect balance of robust hop flavor/aroma and simplicity, not overwhelming, but still very flavorful.

Tasting Notes:

It is very tropical and citrusy which makes for great summer drinking. It’s hazy, juicy, and perfect on a hot day.

Outer Range Into The Steep

Outer Range Into The Steep
Outer Range

Matthew Miller, co-founder and head brewer of Sunroom Brewing in Englewood, Colorado

ABV: 6.9%

Average Price: $16 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

Having spent the majority of my childhood in Upstate New York, New England IPAs will always be my favorite style of summery IPAs. Into the Steep from Outer Range is in my opinion the best Hazy IPA in this style that I have had.

Tasting Notes:

The palate is sweet, juicy, and filled with peach, mango, and citrus fruits. There’s a nice malt backbone and just a hint of bitter, floral, grassy hops.

Wren House Spellbinder

Wren House Spellbinder
Wren House

Jan Chodkowski, head brewer and co-owner at Our Mutual Friend Brewing Company in Denver

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $19 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

The best IPA this summer for me has to be Wren House’s Spellbinder. It has to be the best Citra, Mosaic hazy out there. Cloudy, juicy, and surprisingly well-balanced, it’s the kind of IPA I’ll drink until fall.

Tasting Notes:

Super citrus and tropical aromas with a smooth body keep you reaching back for more. It’s as close to perfection as a summery IPA gets.

Cannonball Creek Trump Hands

Cannonball Creek Trump Hands
Cannonball Creek

Fred Rizzo, lead brewer for Call to Arms Brewing in Denver, Colorado

ABV: 4.6%

Average Price: Limited Availability

The Beer:

I think it would be Trump Hands from Cannonball Creek. Making lower ABV IPAs that drink like “normal” IPAs is very challenging and the gents at CBC have continued to nail this style over many years (as the medals they’ve won prove it).

Tasting Notes:

This beer hits all the IPA marks that I appreciate (citrus, fruit, dank, mildly bitter finish) all while being full-bodied and low ABV.

Russian River Blind Pig

Russian River Blind Pig
Russian River

Skip Schwartz, head brewer at WeldWerks Brewing in Greeley, Colorado

ABV: 6.25%

Average Price: $8 for a 510ml bottle

The Beer:

I would have to say that Blind Pig is always the IPA I choose to drink whenever I see it on a menu. In my opinion, it is the perfect IPA due to its excellent balance of malt sweetness and body, which complements its level of bitterness perfectly.

Tasting Notes:

The combination of pine and citrus flavors meld together seamlessly, creating a delightful taste experience. Additionally, its 6.2% ABV makes it an ideal beer to enjoy a few without feeling overly full, and it pairs exceptionally well with meals.

Lawson’s Finest Sip of Sunshine

Lawson’s Finest Sip of Sunshine
Lawson’s Finest

George Hummel, grain master of My Local Brew Works in Philadelphia

ABV: 8%

Average Price: $18 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

Lawson’s Sip Of Sunshine is one of the early trailblazers for the hazy style and it’s the one I gravitate towards as my personal favorite. It’s hazy, but not chunky. I find it truly amazing the layers of flavor being pulled from one kind of malt and one hop variety.

Tasting Notes:

Crisp pilsner malt and citrusy hops tied up in a pretty yellow bow. The only negative is it may be a little too crushable for a brew that weighs in at 8% ABV.

Pinthouse Electric Jellyfish

Pinthouse Electric Jellyfish
Pinthouse

Garth Beyer, certified Cicerone and owner of Garth’s Brew Bar in Madison, Wisconsin

ABV: 6.5%

Average Price: $19 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

Electric Jellyfish from Pinthouse Brewing is my summer IPA go-to after a recent recommendation from a friend. It’s a great, well-balanced hazy IPA for the summer months.

Tasting Notes:

It’s beyond juicy without getting high up in the ABV. Notes of citrus, pineapple, mango, and lychee make it incredibly refreshing against the heat.

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An Ex-Navy Fighter Pilot Blew Minds When He Told Congress About His Encounters With UFOs: ‘These Objects Were Completely Stationary In Category 4 Hurricane Winds’

How do you convince a panel of House representatives that intelligent life is, in fact, out there? By giving a detailed account of how extraterrestrial pilots put even Tom Cruise to shame.

Today, Congress held a hearing to learn more about the existence of UAPs — unidentified aerial phenomena, or what we would call UFOs. They want to know which government agencies and contractors have been spying on and studying alien aircraft, and what proof of contact they might have. After retired military officer Major David Grusch confirmed that the government has had knowledge of extraterrestrial activity since 1930 and has also recovered crashed aircraft with non-human biological pilots, another whistleblower gave a mindboggling account of how advanced alien technology might be.

When former Navy fighter pilot Ryan Graves was asked how he knew the UAPs weren’t American, or even human, made, he gave this answer:

“These objects were staying completely stationary in Category 4 hurricane winds. These same objects would then accelerate to supersonic speeds. They would do so in very erratic and quick behaviors that I don’t have an explanation for.”

Why extraterrestrial pilots might be taking to the skies during hurricanes is still unclear, but given that even the tiniest drop of rain causes major delays when you’re flying Delta or American Airlines, we’re pretty miffed that the aliens have one up on us when it comes to air travel.

Watch the full interaction below:

And here’s his full opening statement.

And if you’ve never seen this 60 Minutes segment on this subject, it’s worth a watch.

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You’ll Need These Gin & Tonic Riffs To Get Through The Hottest Days Of Summer

This summer, we’ve covered some classic warm-weather cocktails and the various riffs on them that bartenders have created. We’ve already seen takes on the paloma, margarita, and even the daiquiri. But we’re definitely not done yet. No summer cocktail series is complete without the warm weather, thirst-quenching classic known as the gin & tonic.

Not only is the gin & tonic perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day, it’s also one of the simplest classic cocktails ever conceived. If you really want to go no frills, you can simply mix together gin and tonic over ice. That might be enough for you. If you want to turn it up to eleven, you’ll add a squeeze of lime and a lime wedge.

Here’s the bare-bones recipe:

Ingredients

2 oz. gin
4 oz. tonic water
Squeeze of lime
Lime wedge garnish

Preparation

Add gin to an ice-filled glass. Top with tonic water and stir until combined. Add a squeeze or two of lime and add a lime wedge. drink

Now, if that’s good enough for you, you’re all set for an epic last two months of summer. But if you really want to get wild, we asked a handful of bartenders to share their takes on the iconic drink. The cocktails below go well beyond the simplicity of the original drink and we think that’s a great thing. Bartending is an art form so why not let the professionals add intriguing ingredients and flavors to bring this drink to a new level?

Koppi Tonic

Koppi Tonic
Donnie Massingale

By Julia Petiprin, owner and Michael Nauer, beverage director at Homemakers Bar in Cincinnati

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz. Five Stories Winter Gin
  • 1 oz. *Coffee infused Meletti
  • 1 dash absinthe
  • 4 oz. Fever Tree Indian Tonic
  • Garnish: Grapefruit Zest

Coffee Meletti:

25g whole light roasted beans (Deeper Roots), 1- 750ml Meletti. Infuse for 24hrs, strain.

Preparation:

Add gin, coffee meletti, and absinthe to a chilled glass, add ice, and top with tonic. Express the grapefruit over the top, and place it in the glass.

“This cocktail is inspired by our love for a great coffee and amaro. With the craze of the espresso martini, we wanted something that could scratch the itch without being overly complicated. It is named after Koppi Roasters, said to be the inventors of espresso and tonic. Five Stories Winter Gin brings forward notes of cinnamon, winter mint tea, and other warming spices that pair perfectly with the orange peel and saffron notes of Meletti and coffee. The absinthe highlights the anise but with only one dash it’s not overpowering and adds depth.” Julia Petiprin, owner of Homemakers Bar in Cincinnati

Bramble Gin & Tonic

Bramble Gin & Tonic
Valerie

By Marshall Minaya, beverage director at Valerie in New York City

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Brockmans Gin
  • .25 oz. Giffard Crème de Cacao
  • .25 oz. Lemon Juice
  • 6 oz. Q Spectacular Tonic

Preparations:

Add Gin, cacao, and lemon to a goblet, fill with ice, and garnish. Serve and pour approx. six ounces of tonic for a topper. Serve in a goblet and garnish with two lemon wheels and three blackberries.

“Countless cocktails poured in the ’80s and ’90s have come and gone, but some are still called for from time to time. The Bramble, for example, is one of those cocktails: It’s made its way into the pantheon of classics bartenders know and riff off of. At Valerie, we have a gin-focused cocktail program with a list of house-crafted gin and tonic creations. I wanted to curate a refreshing Bramble variation while leaving the additional sugars behind—and Brockmans gin was the perfect base. Because of the berry-forward notes of the gin, there’s no reason to add any additional blackberry liqueurs. Q Spectacular tonic is my go-to tonic when I want the guest to truly be able to experience the botanicals of the gin. Carbonated at a higher pressure than other tonics (with fewer botanicals) allows the botanicals in Brockmans to shine.” Marshall Minaya, beverage director at Valerie in New York City

Gin Blossoms

Gin Blossoms
Wequassett Resort & Golf Club

By Rene Votteler, food & beverage director at Wequassett Resort & Golf Club in Harwich, Massachusetts

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz Hendricks Neptunia Botanical
  • 1 oz Strawberry Puree

Preparation:

Build in shaker, add ingredients, shake, pour into a rocks glass, and top with tonic water. Garnish with an edible orchid flower

“Using the Hendricks Neptunia Botanical gives it that refreshing taste to the palate with the compliments of strawberries and a special look with a beautiful orchid flower.”– Rene Votteler, food & beverage director at Wequassett Resort & Golf Club

Audrey’s Tonic

Audrey’s Tonic
Little Rascal

By Keith Larry, beverage director at Little Rascal in Brooklyn, New York

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Boatyard Gin
  • .75 oz. Oloroso sherry
  • .25 oz. freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • Top with London Essence Indian Tonic
  • Garnish with Lemon zest and rosemary

Preparation:

Add the gin, sherry, and lemon juice to a shaker tin with ice and shake. Pour over a highball glass filled with ice and top with London Essence Indian Tonic. Garnish with lemon zest and a sprig of rosemary.

“Audrey’s Tonic features my favorite high-quality tonic, London Essence, and oloroso sherry, which you can find for an affordable price at most liquor stores. The sherry adds a nice crisp quality to the cocktail, complementing the traditional G+T ingredients nicely. For an easy way to bring it up another notch, use a lighter to smoke your rosemary for an aromatic finish” – Keith Larry, beverage director at Little Rascal in Brooklyn, New York

Trunk Texts

Trunk Texts
Stratus Rooftop Lounge

By Patrick Banko, lead bartender at Stratus Rooftop Lounge in Philadelphia

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Peaflower-Infused Hendrick’s Gin
  • .5 oz. green tea syrup
  • .5 oz. lime juice
  • Topped with Fever Tree Mediterranean Tonic

Preparation:

Combine gin, syrup, and lime juice in a shaker tin, shake, and strain into a highball glass over ice. Top with tonic water and garnish with a lime wheel.

“I really enjoy this cocktail due to the citrus and syrup components leveling out the harsh floral notes from the gin and the tonic water. It is a go-to for guests who are not typically gin and tonic fans, and also provides an entry into the vast gin cocktail universe.” — Patrick Banko, lead bartender at Stratus Rooftop Lounge in Philadelphia

Glendalough Rose G&T

Rose G & T
Glendalough Distillery

By Ciarán “Rowdy” Rooney, head distiller for Glendalough Distillery in County Wicklow, Ireland

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz. Glendalough Wild Rose Irish Gin
  • Tonic Water
  • Lime wedge garnish
  • Mint sprig garnish

Preparation:

Add Wild Rose Gin to an ice-filled wine glass. Top with tonic water and garnish with a slice of lime and a fresh sprig of mint.

“The best gin for a G&T is a small batch distilled gin with a juniper-forward flavor that includes other botanicals that are ideally locally sourced. This will ensure you get a classic G&T that tastes fresh, flavorful, and unique. Glendalough is a craft-produced gin that is slowly distilled in our small 500-liter copper pot still using the finest, best quality botanicals available — including over 30 locally foraged wild fresh botanicals. I have to say that the Glendalough Rose Gin is my favorite, because I developed it to honor my Mum whose name was Rose, and each bottle contains roses from my late mother’s garden.” – Ciarán “Rowdy” Rooney, head distiller for Glendalough Distillery

G&T+

G & T +
Tattersall Distilling

By Kodi Satra, beverage director of Tattersall Distilling in River Falls, Wisconsin

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz. Tattersall Gin
  • 1 oz. sweet vermouth
  • .5 oz. lemon juice
  • .25 oz. agave syrup
  • 2 oz. tonic water

Preparation:

Combine all ingredients in Collins glass filled with ice. Top with tonic water and garnish with an expressed lemon peel

“This recipe has some non-traditional G&T ingredients. They play well with the gin without overpowering the drink or making it too far from the original flavor profile. You can leave out the agave if you prefer your G&T on the drier side. You can also add herbs like basil or rosemary and some dried spices like cardamom or cinnamon sticks as a garnish to play on the Spanish style gin and tonics that have gained popularity lately.” – By Kodi Satra, beverage director of Tattersall Distilling in River Falls, Wisconsin