Now, Beabadoobee is back with another stripped-down earworm: “The Way Things Go,” whose lyrics are much more serious and impactful than “Glue Song.” It’s a soft breakup song, expressing the inadequacy of words in such a situation: “And there’s so much left to say / I guess I’m just the bigger guy / And there’s too much on my mind / That I don’t even want to try.” However, what she does admit holds a lot of power: “I’m happy now, I ought to let you know / But I guess that’s just the way things go.”
In an interview earlier this year, Beabadoobee divulged her excitement about opening for the “Anti-Hero” pop star on the massive tour. “I remember telling an interviewer that my dream support was Taylor Swift, and then I got a call from my manager saying she wants you to go on tour with her,” she told The Times. “I messaged all my girlfriends: ‘Guess f*cking what…’”
It’s that time again when even though it feels like summer is just kicking into full swing, the back-to-school section pops up at your local Target. It’s a grim reminder that life will soon return to the stress of homework, shuttling kids to and from extra-curricular activities and the dreaded school drop-off line.
The good news is that first grade teacher and content creator Katie Alburger wants parents everywhere to know they don’t need to break the bank when shopping for school supplies. In fact, she says that teachers actually prefer it when parents purchase the standard supplies instead of going overboard with funky-scented markers and pencil boxes that do more than just hold Ticonderoga No. 2s.
Alburger drove the point home by filming her school supply video while walking through the aisles at Target.
PSA: when school supply shopping, pls pls pls get standard items! Save the fancy for home and they can use that for homework and free time🤪 (dont mind me walking all around target to record this.. it was so crowded and I get camera shy, thx) #teachersoftiktok #momsoftiktok #teacherlife #schoolshopping #schoolsupplies #teacherlife #targettok #targetmom
“As a teacher, I’m here to tell you that the more basic you go, the more your teacher will appreciate it,” she said before sharing some examples.
“For example, if your child’s school’s file list has a ruler, this is what they’re talking about,” she said while holding a basic, old-school wooden ruler. “Not a snap bracelet ruler that is going to end up hurting someone.”
“Almost every school’s file list is going to have glue sticks, right? We don’t need colored, scented glue sticks because for 40 more cents, you can get 12 of the regular glue sticks—and chances are your child’s teacher probably does community supplies, which means that would come in handy to have 12 more than four,” she explained.
She also warned against getting too creative with pencil boxes.
“OK, they need a basic pencil box,” she said. “It can have a character on it if they want to get a little bit more personalized, but a fidget pencil box is going to become a toy and your teacher’s worst enemy. So, please don’t do that to them. I completely understand that Pop Its are a fidget that some children need. They just don’t need it on their pencil box.”
“I appreciate you for letting us parents know. I wouldn’t want to send my child to school with distractions and take away from her learning time,” Norma Jeronimo replied in the comments section.
The video comes at a time when many parents are stressed out over the cost of back-to-school supplies. In 2022, the average parent spent $661 per child on ensuring their child was equipped and dressed for the school year. But this year, parents are looking to spend an average of $597. They expect to spend less on clothes and tech and more on necessities like school supplies to compensate for the cost of living increases due to inflation.
The high cost of school supplies also shifts an even bigger burden to school teachers, who already have to spend hundreds of dollars on school supplies every year. Studies show that the average teacher expected to spend nearly $820 on their classrooms during the 2022-2023 school year, nearly double what they paid eight years ago.
Have you ever wondered what happens at the dry cleaners? Or are you like me, who just assumed the people at the dry cleaners were wizards and never questioned their magic? Turns out, dry cleaners aren’t magic and there’s actually a pretty interesting explanation of how they came to be and what they do.
Melissa Pateras is known on Tiktok for her laundry knowledge. Seriously, her ability to fold laundry is hypnotizing. This time, she created a video explaining what actually takes place at the dry cleaner and the internet is aghast.
Before Pateras explained what happens in the mysterious world behind the counter of a dry cleaner, she asked a few of her friends what they thought dry cleaning was. Their answers were…interesting to say the least.
One friend surmised, “You put it in a box, right…and then you let some wind, really fast wind, blow around on your clothes and it wipes off all the dirt.” The friend, whose username is @unlearn16, continued with her working hypothesis, saying that the clothes are then blasted with infrared heat to sterilize the garments. While that is certainly an interesting theory, that’s not what happens.
Another friend guessed, “Dry cleaning is when they take all of your dirty clothes into this big dryer with a clean sheet that sticks all of the dirt to it from your dirty clothes.” This friend was also incorrect, and Pateras finally explained why after her friends dug deep into their brains for their best guesses.
Turns out dry cleaning was invented by accident when Jean-Baptiste Jolly spilled a kerosene lamp on his tablecloth, which dried cleaner than it was previously, according to Pateras.
The laundry guru explained that while it was dangerous, the practice of cleaning things with kerosene continued until a less flammable method was discovered. But even the safer method is still fairly harsh, which is why dry cleaners take buttons off of clothing before running them through, she says.
This prompted one commenter to ask, “They really take the buttons off of every shirt?” to which Pateras replied that it only occurs if the buttons won’t withstand the chemicals.
If you’ve ever been curious about what happens at the dry cleaner, watch the video below. She takes you through each step.
Over the past 40 years, a sea change has occurred in how kids get to school. Throughout most Western countries, an increasing number of children are driven to school instead of walking or taking a bike. In a new video called “Why did kids stop walking to school?” About Here’s founder, Uytae Lee, cites the U.S. Department of Transportation statistic that in 1969, 48% of kids walked or biked to school, and that number has plummeted to just 11%.
Uytae Lee is an urban planner and videographer passionate about sharing stories about our cities. The video was produced in partnership with TransLink, Metro Vancouver’s regional transportation authority.
The video makes a compelling case that more children should walk to school. It’s better for children’s health and reduces congestion and pollution from car exhaust. In a world where we are pushing for people to be greener, flooding the road with cars every morning to take kids on a short drive seems counter-productive.
Some parents drive their kids to school because they fear they could be abducted or hit by a car while walking to school. But Lee doesn’t believe that those fears should be a reason for parents to change their behavior over the past few decades. “As terrible as [kidnappings and car accidents] are, the statistics behind those risks haven’t changed significantly over the decades,” Lee says.
The video is a great reminder that reevaluating how kids get to school may be a good idea. When they take a bike or walk, it’s better for their health and that of the planet as well.
Earlier this month, amid a wave of ESPN layoffs, it was reported that the company would be parting ways with longtime broadcaster and analyst Jeff Van Gundy, who served alongside Mike Breen and Mark Jackson as the network’s leading broadcast team, most notably during the NBA Finals over the past many years.
In the ensuing weeks, there have been some speculation and reports about who could succeed Van Gundy, including Doris Burke and former NBA head coach Doc Rivers to form a revamped ensemble with Breen. According to Michael McCarthy of Front Office Sports, however, J.J. Redick appears to be a premier option to replace Van Gundy.
“Redick has zoomed to the top of the contenders’ list to join ESPN’s top NBA game broadcast team, sources tell Front Office Sports,” McCarthy wrote. “Redick, fellow ESPN analyst Doris Burke and Richard Jefferson, and four-time NBA head coach Doc Rivers are all in play to possibly succeed the laid-off Jeff Van Gundy, said sources.”
Since joining ESPN shortly after his retirement following the 2019-20 season, Redick’s been a mainstay on talk shows, namely “First Take,” and secondary broadcasts. He brings a blend of insightful commentary and witty banter with his partners. Should this move materialize, he’d be a beneficial addition to ESPN’s foremost broadcast team.
So, as I was watching Greta Gerwig’s Barbie (written by Gerwig and Noah Baumbach) I couldn’t help but wonder what the Mattel executives were thinking the first time they were watching it. Mattel, the maker of Barbie and other toy lines like Masters of the Universe, obviously want to start competing with their rival, Hasbro (Transformers, G.I. Joe), at the box office. In particular, there’s a scene set in the “real world” as Barbie (Margot Robbie) tries to find her owner, when a young woman named Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt) explains in no uncertain terms to Barbie that she is a menace: That everyone hates Barbie, she has set feminism back 50 years, and has set the standard for unrealistic body expectations. I truly wonder if Mattel signed up for “shrewd, biting, and hilarious cultural commentary about their product.” Or, if they even realized, of course, that’s what they were going to get with Gerwig and Baumbach involved. (I could list 30 filmmakers right now off the top of my head who would be, from Mattel’s point of view, “safe” choices. These two are not on that list.) To the point, throughout the film’s running time, I just kept thinking to myself I can’t believe this exists and I can’t believe they got away with it.
I also keep imagining parents taking young children to this movie and just being delighted by this idea. For instance, there’s a scene where the Kens wage war against each other over the control of Barbie Land. Ryan Gosling’s Ken wages a Saving Private Ryan-type beach invasion against the other army of Kens, using tennis rackets and volleyballs as weapons, that leads to a huge, trippy choreographed dance number against the leader of the other Kens (Simu Liu). I’m just imagining the, “Hmmm, this isn’t quite what I expected,” face who may have assumed there wouldn’t have been an all-out beach invasion that leads to a dance number. Or direct references to Robert Evans.
Honestly, I’m kind of in awe of Barbie and I would love to read the meeting notes of every conversation Gerwig had with someone at Mattel.
When we first meet Barbie she’s living in Barbie Land and everything is perfect. She lives in her Dream House and spends her day on the beach hanging out with all the other Barbies, who, together, run the government and day-to-day operations of Barbie Land under President Barbie (Issa Rae). The Kens primarily exist to win the attention and affection of the Barbies. One particular Ken, the one played by Gosling, his entire purpose in life to to impress Robbie’s Barbie. However, Barbie begins to have an existential crisis and doesn’t understand why this is happening to her. She visits the wise “Weird Barbie” (Kate McKinnon, who owns this role) who explains Barbie is feeling this way because of the relationship with her owner. She must travel to the real world and find her owner.
Along with Ken, they do travel to the real world and Barbie does find her owner, Gloria (America Ferrera), who now works at Mattel and has handed Barbie down to her daughter, the aforementioned Sasha. But at the same time, Ken is exploring the real world and, excitedly, discovers that men seem to be mostly in charge and starts reading books about the patriarchy and discovers he really likes all of this. So Ken sets back off to Barbie Land to tell the other Kens what he’s learned and to also rule Barbie Land himself. Barbie, Gloria and Sasha travel back to Barbie Land, too, setting up a showdown with the Kens. Gosling plays this all with such glee. Gosling as, let’s say, “confident” Ken is just a delight. There’s a scene in which he asks Barbie if he can play a song “at” her. Then breaks out a four-hour version of “Push” by Matchbox 20.
Make no doubt about it, Barbie is a very weird movie. One I enjoyed very much. And quite possibly the weirdest studio movie I’ve ever seen based on a product that another company is very much still hoping to sell. (I truly imagine some sort of urgent phone call at some point, “Um, yeah, so we have some notes about the CEO of Mattel character?”) I can’t get over the fact that Will Ferrell plays the CEO of Mattel as a bumbling oaf who loves tickle-fights. I’ve already seen the comparisons to Ferrell’s Lord Business from The LEGO Movie, but Lord Business is not the actual CEO of LEGO, proudly introducing his all-white guys Board of Directors. I would suspect this was the trickiest of characters, considering the corporate gymnastics involved. This results in Ferrell’s character being a big fan of Barbie (which, alright, she does make him a lot of money), but it’s also clear Barbie needs to stay in Barbie Land, so this does allow the movie to have a chase scene.
Again, I can’t believe Gerwig got away with this. And that’s not to say there’s no love for this character – there obviously is – but it’s not often we get this amount of social commentary squeezed directly from the company that licensed the movie. And I don’t want to make it sound heavy-handed. I saw this movie somewhat early in the morning after a night of little sleep and I legitimately laughed out loud at least ten times. I truly don’t know what audiences expecting a straightforward Barbie movie will make of all this. But I, for one, hope Warner Bros. and Mattel let Gerwig and Baumbach make five more of these.
‘Barbie’ opens in theaters everywhere this week. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.
When it comes to refreshing beers, it’s pretty difficult to beat an ice-cold Gose. Pronounced “Gose-uh”, this beer style (like many) comes from Germany. Specifically, the city of Goslar. It’s a top-fermented wheat ale known for its tart, citrus flavor that’s accentuated by the addition of salt and (often times) coriander. Traditional Gose beers from the city got their salty flavor from the high level of salinity in the water — these days it’s added later.
Whether or not additional fruit flavors are added, Gose-style beers are crisp, tart, and perfectly salty. Exactly the type of beer you want to drink on a hot summer day.
To prove it, we selected eight of the best, summery Gose-style beers we could find and ranked them for you. We were looking for complex, balanced flavors profile featuring nice levels of tartness, salinity, and overall thirst-quenching ability. Keep scrolling if you want to see where your favorite beer landed on this list (or if it didn’t make it at all).
If ever there was an official beer for summer, it would be Neshaminy Creek Summer Dollars. This homage to the first summer blockbuster ‘Jaws’, it’s a fruited Gose brewed with pilsner malts, white wheat that is conditioned on blood oranges. Sea salt adds a little bit of ocean brine to this brew.
Tasting Notes:
This gose is loaded with ripe orange aromas, funky acidity, wheat, and raspberry. The palate is slightly less exciting with juicy orange flavor as well as some pilsner malts, a tart acidity, and a gentle hint of sea salt throughout. Salt, citrus, and summer.
But… a bit of a one-trick pony.
Bottom Line:
This is a decent summer sipper. It’s just salt and orange and not much else though.
When you crack open a beer called a “Margarita Gose,” you should have a pretty good idea about what you’re in for. This 4.2% ABV summer sipper is a German-style Gose with orange peel, lime essence, and salt. It was crafted to taste like a tart, salty margarita.
Tasting Notes:
One sniff and you’d assume you were about to indulge in a margarita and that’s the point. There’s a ton of lime, orange peel, and salt. All it’s missing is the aroma of tequila. The palate continues this trend with more lime, orange, some cracker-like malts, and a ton of sea salt. It’s tart, refreshing, but feels like it’s missing something.
Bottom Line:
If you enjoy margaritas, you’ll really like this beer. But since it’s missing the tequila element, it might simply make you want to drink a real margarita instead.
If you only turned to one brewery for your Gose fix this summer, you can do much worse than Anderson Valley. One of our favorites from the Boonville, California-based brewery is its Briney Melon Gose. Brewed with Chinook, pale two-row malt, malted white wheat, rice hulls, and Chinook hops, it gets its summery elements from the use of watermelon and sea salt.
Tasting Notes:
Before your first sip, you’ll be treated to aromas of cereal grains, honey, ripe watermelon, salt, and gentle spices. Sipping it reveals more watermelon, freshly baked bread, citrus peels, slightly tart acidity, and a ton of salinity.
Bottom Line:
This beer is like biting into a ripe, juicy piece of watermelon with a dash of salt on it. It might seem strange at first, but it’s surprisingly refreshing.
When it comes to envelope-pushing breweries, it’s difficult to beat Denmark’s Mikkeller. It’s a brewery unafraid of trying new things. A great example is Passion Pool. Instead of the usual citrus based Gose, Mikkeller made a banger of a sour ale with passionfruit and sea salt.
Tasting Notes:
The beer smells like a tropical paradise. Not surprisingly, the top aroma is that of passionfruit. Afterward, you’ll find mango, peach, orange peel, and ripe grapefruit. There’s also a faint aroma of sea salt. Sipping it only adds to the experience with more passionfruit mingling with ripe peach, pineapple, mango, floral hops, and more sea salt. It’s a very complex, flavorful summer beer.
Bottom Line:
If you’re the kind of person who makes a fruit salad and adds every single tropical fruit you can find at your local supermarket, this is your beer. Sea salt only adds to the experience.
When it comes to tart pie hierarchy, you’d have a hard time dethroning the iconic key lime pie. This complex beer version is brewed with CTZ hops, American ale yeast, acidulated pale malts, and wheat. It gets its key lime pie flavor from the addition of cinnamon, coriander, sea salt, vanilla, and key limes.
Tasting Notes:
You’d assume that a Gose that was supposed to smell and taste like pie wouldn’t really live up to the hype, but this one does. The nose is all graham crackers, key limes, and spices. The palate is more tart lime flavor that’s tempered by graham crackers, vanilla, coriander, and a nice kick of sea salt.
Bottom Line:
This Gose absolutely tastes like a key lime pie in beer form. Yet, it still manages to be light and crushable enough for the summer heat.
To say this is a unique beer is a major understatement. Brewed with new-growth spruce tips, Chinook hops, white oak, and sea salt, this is the kind of beer that needs to be tasted to be believed. Pine, citrus, oak, salt. This is a different beer in the best way possible.
Tasting Notes:
Complex aromas of orchard fruits, citrus peels, dank pine, ripe grapefruit, and sea salt pave the way for the palate to follow. On the palate, you’ll find grapefruit, orange zest, lime, wine tannins, floral hops, and a ton of summery pine and salt. It’s a citrus, pine, and salt-forward beer you’ll come back to again and again.
Bottom Line:
This isn’t your usual Gose and that’s what makes it so exciting. The spruce flavor is so perfectly matched with the other flavors in this epic beer.
Creature Comforts Tritonia is a beer we look forward to drinking every summer. While it’s available year-round, we all know that summer is when this tart, salty Gose shines. Brewed with cucumber, lime, sea salt, coriander, and Creature Comforts’ proprietary blend of lactobacillus, it’s refreshing, tart, and memorable.
Tasting Notes:
Cucumber, lime, sweet wheat, floral hops, and sea salt are prevalent on the nose. Taking a drink, you’ll find flavors like ripe cucumber, coriander, wheat malt, and lime zest. The palate is tart and refreshing and there’s a background of sea salt throughout.
Bottom Line:
Crisp, tart, salty, what’s not to love? Creature Comforts Tritonia is an absolutely flavorful summer crusher if ever there was one.
Another unique beer, The Veil’s Never Again is a fruited Gose you’ll want to keep in your fridge all summer long. Brewed with almost 100 gallons of raspberry puree and pine Himalayan Sea salt, this is a berry-filled, tart, salty flavor explosion of a beer.
Tasting Notes:
There’s no disputing that this is a raspberry-centered Gose. Ripe berries are big on the nose along with tart green apple, citrus peels, and a hint of salt. The palate is fruity, salty, and highly refreshing. Raspberries, blackberries, citrus zest, wheat malt, and a ton of sea salt make this a highly memorable beer.
Bottom Line:
While it might not seem overly complex, we assure you this raspberry Gose is something special. All of the flavors are tempered perfectly to make for an outstanding, crisp, tart, refreshing beer.
Since SAG-AFTRA joined the WGA on the picket lines last week, some truly horrifying stories have emerged about one of guild member’s biggest complaints: comically paltry residuals. In the pre-streaming glory days, actors could once upon a time expect payments from re-runs of popular shows. Now, not so much. Indeed, one very famous star said she’s received some checks so small they needn’t have even bothered — and heard of ones that are even punier.
The Hollywood Reportercaught up with Mandy Moore, who was Emmy-nominated for This is Us, on the Disney picket line in Burbank, California. She had some things to say, namely that she’s received residual checks that were comically low: “very tiny, like 81-cent checks.”
That’s nothing. “I was talking with my business manager who said he’s received a residual for a penny and two pennies,” Moore added.
“The residual issue is a huge issue,” Moore said. “We’re in incredibly fortunate positions as working actors having been on shows that found tremendous success in one way or another … but many actors in our position for years before us were able to live off of residuals or at least pay their bills.”
At the time, Moore was picketing next to former Scandal star Katie Lowes, who told THR she’s never gotten much from her show, despite it getting streaming deals with Hulu and Netflix.
“If you are someone who has been fortunate enough in our positions to do 120-plus episodes of a successful show in previous years — 10, 15, 20 years ago — that re-airing would be the thing that could sustain you on years where I did this smaller project or I wanted to go do a play or you have kids and you have a family to provide for,” Lowes explained. “And that just not a reality anymore. The entire model has changed.”
It’s not just residuals that are the problem. Actors for streamers have long been paid terribly even when filming their shows and movies. Last week, The New Yorker ran a surprising story about the Orange is the New Black supporting cast’s tiny residuals despite their show exploding in popularity. Incidentally, last year the streamer’s current co-CEO Ted Sarandos saw his pay jump 32% to a whopping $50.3 million.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is staying busy despite (involuntarily?) leaving the House Freedom Caucus earlier this month. The MAGA congresswoman is also known to stretch the truth, even when she’s not inventing terms like “gazpacho police and “peach tree dish.” At times, she will purposely or not flub a few numbers, too, but she pulled a new one during a congressional hearing on Tuesday.
As you can see in the below clip (via @acyn on Twitter), Greene claimed to be reading a very recent article (from a source that she did not name) in her argument that the U.S. needs to prioritize border walls.
Greene: Walls a very important for most countries… Security fears and a widespread refusal to help refugees have fuelled a new spate of wall-building around the world. They include Israel’s apartheid wall… pic.twitter.com/Atlccd3JxF
She was, as the below response from @MeidasTouch pointed out, reading from the top excerpt portion of a 2015 Daily Mail article, which publishes content (often fun, too) on a wide variety of topics but was surely never intended to be source material for a lawmaker.
Marjorie Taylor Greene claimed to be reading an article from earlier this month.
“Security fears and a widespread refusal to help refugees have fuelled a new spate of wall-building around the world,” Greene read aloud. “They include Israel’s ‘apartheid wall’, India’s 2,500-mile fence around Bangladesh and Morocco’s huge sand ‘berm.” Curiously, however, Greene omitted the last line from the excerpt, which points out the following about border walls: “Their main function is theatre. They provide the sense of security, not real security.”
Never a dull moment with Marjorie Taylor Greene. She already dropped an LBJ-Biden earlier this week, and you know, the week is still young.
Spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a single bottle of whiskey is truly a wild prospect. That’s clear. Is it ever worth it? Yes. If you love whiskey, then eventually you’ll learn of Scotch whiskies (or any whiskey variety, really) that are so rare and fleeting that they cost a whole hell of a lot. But you might still want them and if you get them you might just say “I’m glad I invested in that experience.” It all really depends on what you value, how much money you have, and how you feel the universe is constructed (your philosophy will dictate how you feel about spending on yourself vs. saving, etc.).
An extremely rare cask of whisky — one that’s maybe twice as old as you — is going to cost dearly. But remember that it’s kind of a miracle that it even exists. Imagine how many hands have touched it and how long it’s waited for a chance to be sipped by you. And recall also that whisk(e)y evaporates as it ages. After 20, 30, or even 50 years all of it can be (and often is) gone. I’ve been in warehouses where a 25-year-old barrel is dry as dirt. Then the 30-year-old barrel right next to it will be half full of delicious whiskey. So finding a barrel of, say, 40-year-old whisk(e)y that not only has whiskey still in the barrel but is also delicious is like finding a single four-leaf clover in a field the size of Rhode Island.
What would really suck in all this is spending the coin on a rare whisky only to hate it. To help on that count, I’m going to blindly taste some extremely rare Scotch single malt whisky and recommend a few that you should consider trying too. I grabbed bottles that all have extremely high age statements and even higher price points. Some of these whiskies were filled into the barrel back in the 1970s, maybe even the 1960s. This is extremely rare stuff that’s the epitome of premium.
Glenfiddich Suspended Time Aged 30 Years, Time Re:Imagined Collection
Glenglassaugh Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky 46 Years Old
The Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Sample Room Collection 25 Years Of Age
The GlenDronach Grandeur Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 28 Years
The BenRiach Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Forty
World Whiskey Society 31-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky Distilled by Macallan Distillery
The Singleton of Glen Ord Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 40 Years
The Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Tale of the Dog Aged 42 Years
After the blind tasting, I ranked these based on taste alone. It was not easy. Cards on the table — these were all spectacular. There is really no other way to cut it so let’s dive right in.
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months
Nose: Soft hints of stewed plums cut with sweet cinnamon, bitter clove, and salted dark chocolate mingle with a sense of old but very soft suede, dusty oak beams in an old wine cellar, and this fleeting sense of old honey stored in stone pots of eons with an echo of orange blossom.
Palate: The palate builds on that mild floral vibe with and aura of rose-water-laced moist marzipan dipped in creamy dark chocolate with an edge of cinnamon bark and dried apple bushels countering everything.
Finish: The end has another note of that old honey and stone pots with a lingering sense of pipe tobacco dipped in apple honey and rolled with dry strings of cedar bark and strips of musty leather.
Initial Thoughts:
Delicious. Deep. Divine. I want this whisky in my life every day.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This is almost … fresh on the nose with a sense of tart and woody black currants, fresh plum, mango juice, and red grapes that then veers into the abyss with a sense of old boot leather, maple wood dipped in varnish, and waxy sense of ambergris (I swear) — think boot cream, fresh tobacco, and sandalwood with a hint of salt.
Palate: The taste takes the fruit and tosses it into a fruit salad that’s cut with seawater and nori that’s then countered by menthol tobacco and sharp citrus oils with a whisper of cherry-flavored cream soda.
Finish: A twinge of grapefruit oil drives the finish toward this fleeting sense of cellar dirt, more ambergris, and mint chocolate chip ice cream that’s laced with pipe tobacco and black currants.
Initial Thoughts:
This is wildly delicious with a hint of bourbon lurking deep in the profile. It also kind of just keeps going and I have no desire for it to end.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Imagine the best, most bespoke dark chocolate-covered raisins from an expensive chocolate shop and you’ll be on the right track next to soft ginger candy, sweet oak, and malted cookies dipped in fresh honey.
Palate: Those sweet notes are the foundation for burnt orange peels, Almond Roca candies, and sweet caramel malts over a mix of smoked cinnamon bark wrapped around black-tea-soaked dates and a hint of moist marzipan.
Finish: The finish is so long that you might still be thinking about it on your deathbed, thanks to an orange/spice/nutty matrix of silky whisky smoothness.
Initial Thoughts:
This is so good. I guess it’s a tad lighter than the last two, but … who cares when it’s this goddamn tasty?
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose opens with a sense of black-tea-soaked dates blended with Saigon cinnamon and freshly ground nutmeg next to blackstrap molasses, walnut cake, old oak staves soaked in floral honey, moist marzipan laced with orange oils and dipped in salted dark chocolate, and a little twinge of bourbon vanilla cherries.
Palate: The palate pops with dark cherry cordial on the palate next to stewed plums with anise and clove, old leather tobacco pouches, and a touch of creamy espresso.
Finish: The end is a mix of dark chocolate and brandy-soaked cherries next to spent oolong tea leaves, walnut shells, and salted black licorice with a bold warmth of heavily spiced caramel malts.
Initial Thoughts:
Wow. This is bold whisky. The end is almost hot but just pulls back to hold onto an incredible balance. That said, I can see this being a little hot for some palates.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Old fruit leather — think dried plum and fig skins — mingle with burnt grapefruit pith, caramelized orange sauce, and salted dark chocolate covered dried cranberry with a deep sense of buttery walnut cake cut with cinnamon and clove and drizzled with spiced cherry syrup.
Palate: That spiced cherry drives the palate toward apple pie filling, grilled white peaches drizzled with honey, and lychee with a hint of kiwi and star fruit leading to spice barks and tobacco boxes.
Finish: The chocolate comes back on the end with more of that walnut cake and cherry driving the finish toward a moist and soft finish full of spice, orchard fruits, and soft tobacco.
Initial Thoughts:
This is just incredible. The depth. The balance. It’s … perfect.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose opens with the softest marzipan (Niedderegger) dipped in fruity and beautiful brandy next to almost savory pear, apple taffy, and pomelo skins over Sicilian cannolis filled with orange-kissed cream and touched with pistachio and brandied-cherries.
Palate: That malted oak cake gets soaked in cognac with a floral fruitiness and a bright summer’s breeze as a hint of rye bread crusts just kissed with sweet anise brings the taste back toward clove and nutmeg sweet Christmas mincemeat pies and a twinge of dark mulled wine.
Finish: That rye and anise counter the soft malted spice cakes with a deep almond marzipan nuttiness that’s accented with pear brandy, orange oils, and vanilla cream with a deeply old wine cellar echo lingering underneath it all.
Initial Thoughts:
This ends in a dusty old wine cellar and it 100% works for me. I guess if I was being very picky, it does feel kind of all over the place like a rollercoaster through the hits of Scotch whisky. But it’s a rollercoaster I want to be on.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Soft orchard fruit — plums, pears, quince — mingle on the nose with a light sense of roasting sage, thyme, and rosemary — all fresh and oily — before a mild note of old cellar oak and dried prosciutto skins arrive.
Palate: The taste leans into the orchard fruit before curing everything with salt, creating a tart yet salted plum/apricot/pear vibe that leads to soft yet dry cacao with a hint of spice barks.
Finish: Those spice barks get sharp and peppery on the finish as the chocolate mellows toward salted figs, plums, and pears that have just been kissed with cherry smoke.
Initial Thoughts:
This feels classic and fresh at the same time. Maybe it’s too “classic” but that’s me really stretching to not just say “it’s amazing.”
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a classic sense of old and sweet malts on the nose that leads you to sweet and floral perfume that’s so subtle and enticing before a hint of sticky toffee pudding and geranium bound toward old mint rolled into chocolate malts.
Palate: The palate has a soft and salted toffee with honey nut cluster dusted with light notes of sweet winter spice and floral orchard blossoms before a hint more of honey and sweet old oak arrives.
Finish: That sweet oak drives the finish toward nutty creaminess, old orchard wood, and a sense of soft summer flowers with a hint of malt cookies cut with raisin and cinnamon.
Initial Thoughts:
This is incredibly succinct while delivering an incredible depth and overall experience. This is wildly good whisky.
Part 2 — The Ultra-Rare Scotch Whisky Ranking
Zach Johnston
8. World Whiskey Society 31-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky Distilled by Macallan Distillery — Taste 6
The World Whiskey Society bottled this amazingly rare whisky this year. The whisky in this very bespoke bottle is from a single 31-year-old sherry cask that The Macallan had in its warehouses. It was bottled at cask strength, which means only 71 bottles were filled.
Bottom Line:
This felt like the most wide-reaching pour and lacked a little bit of focus. There was just a lot going on and it almost started to feel overwhelming. That said, I kind of wanted to be overwhelmed because everything was amped up to 11 and delicious.
I’d reach for this if I wanted to think about the whisky I was drinking and really ponder it. This is a thinkin’ whisky!
7. The GlenDronach Grandeur Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 28 Years — Taste 4
The GlenDronach Grandeur Batch 11 was created by Dr. Rachel Barrie (who also created the BenRiach above). Dr. Barrie hand-selected a tiny number of rare Pedro Ximénez and oloroso Sherry casks that were filled with The GlenDronach malt almost 30 years ago. Those barrels were vatted and bottled with a touch of water into just over 3,000 bottles.
Bottom Line:
That bold warmth and deep woodiness is a lot. This is not for the passive whisky drinker. This is for something looking to be challenged. I’d pour this over a single large rock and be very happy.
6. The Singleton of Glen Ord Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 40 Years — Taste 7
This new release from The Singleton of Glen Ord is a well-aged masterpiece. The malt spent 12 years aging in old bourbon casks before being re-barreled into fresh used oak for another 37 years. Finally, those barrels were vatted and that whisky was re-filled into a mix of rum casks which were ex-solera rum casks of Zacapa XO Rum and Zacapa Royal Rum. Finally, the whisky was vatted and bottled as-is.
Bottom Line:
If you’re looking for the best “classic” unpeated single malt experience that will not challenge you, this is the pour for you.
5. The Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Sample Room Collection 25 Years Of Age — Taste 3
This masterpiece from Glenlivet is their iconic whisky that’s left to mature for 25 years. That whisky is finished in first-fill Pedro Ximenez sherry and Troncais oak cognac casks for that final chef’s kiss before going in the bottle at an incredibly accessible 80 proof.
Bottom Line:
This was more than classic unpeated malt. This felt (and tasted) quintessential. It’s so deep and satisfying while feeling like going home again for the holidays.
4. Glenglassaugh Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky 46 Years Old — Taste 2
Glenglassaugh is a reborn distillery in Scotland — having operated from the 1800s to the 1980s before getting mothballed for over two decades before its resurgence in 2008. This is important to know in that the whiskey in this bottle was made in 1975 during the last years of the distillery’s 20th-century heyday. Living legend Master Blender Rachel Barrie found this barrel (a bourbon cask) in the stocks, and by some sort of whisky miracle, there was juice in the barrel. That whisky was bottled as-is at barrel strength and sent exclusively to the U.S.
Bottom Line:
This is great whisky. If you’re looking for a killer single malt with a hint of Kentucky bourbon lurking in the profile, give this a shot.
3. The Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Tale of the Dog Aged 42 Years — Taste 8
This whisky was named after a famed whisky thief — or “dog” — that was flattened to stop too much whisky being thieved back in the day. The actual whisky in the bottle is from two casks that were put on the racks in 1974 and 1978 and left alone.
Bottom Line:
This is an incredibly delicious whisky. And at this point in the ranking, I’m splitting hairs so microscopic that you’d need a NASA-grade microscope to see them.
2. Glenfiddich Suspended Time Aged 30 Years, Time Re:Imagined Collection — Taste 1
This new line from Glenfiddich is all about slow and steady aging over decades. In this case, this ultra-rare whisky was aged for three decades in ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks until it hit a perfect point for batching, proofing, and bottling this year.
Bottom Line:
This has the perfect balance of being incredibly deep but still 100% accessible. You feel like you’re being nourished with every sip. The word “perfect” actually pops into your head when you sip it.
1. The BenRiach Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Forty — Taste 5
Legendary Master Blender Rachel Barrie assembled this from a few select barrels that survived to 40 years. The peated malt rested in both bourbon casks and Port casks. Those barrels were batched and just kissed with water for this amazingly rare bottling.
Bottom Line:
This stuff is amazing. It’s just… amazing. Get me a thesaurus — I’m at a loss for words.
Part 3 — Final Thoughts on the Ultra-Rare Scotch Whisky
Zach Johnston
I’m going to be honest here. The top four whiskies on this list are all basically tied for first. The difference between them quality-wise or taste-wise is so minuscule that it’s silly. Then the bottom four are all there because they offer something a little different from each other. But they’re all incredible pours, too.
Look at it this way, go back through the tasting notes and find the whisky that speaks to you. Then hit up the best whisky bar you know and maybe you’ll get to try one of these too. Or hit those price links and see if you can score a bottle in your neck of the woods. These are truly amazing whisky experiences that will deliver something special in every single nose and sip.
Moreover, these whiskies feel like you’re getting a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience. You can’t put a price on that.
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