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Spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a single bottle of whiskey is truly a wild prospect. That’s clear. Is it ever worth it? Yes. If you love whiskey, then eventually you’ll learn of Scotch whiskies (or any whiskey variety, really) that are so rare and fleeting that they cost a whole hell of a lot. But you might still want them and if you get them you might just say “I’m glad I invested in that experience.” It all really depends on what you value, how much money you have, and how you feel the universe is constructed (your philosophy will dictate how you feel about spending on yourself vs. saving, etc.).

An extremely rare cask of whisky — one that’s maybe twice as old as you — is going to cost dearly. But remember that it’s kind of a miracle that it even exists. Imagine how many hands have touched it and how long it’s waited for a chance to be sipped by you. And recall also that whisk(e)y evaporates as it ages. After 20, 30, or even 50 years all of it can be (and often is) gone. I’ve been in warehouses where a 25-year-old barrel is dry as dirt. Then the 30-year-old barrel right next to it will be half full of delicious whiskey. So finding a barrel of, say, 40-year-old whisk(e)y that not only has whiskey still in the barrel but is also delicious is like finding a single four-leaf clover in a field the size of Rhode Island.

What would really suck in all this is spending the coin on a rare whisky only to hate it. To help on that count, I’m going to blindly taste some extremely rare Scotch single malt whisky and recommend a few that you should consider trying too. I grabbed bottles that all have extremely high age statements and even higher price points. Some of these whiskies were filled into the barrel back in the 1970s, maybe even the 1960s. This is extremely rare stuff that’s the epitome of premium.

• Glenfiddich Suspended Time Aged 30 Years, Time Re:Imagined Collection
• Glenglassaugh Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky 46 Years Old
• The Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Sample Room Collection 25 Years Of Age
• The GlenDronach Grandeur Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 28 Years
• The BenRiach Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Forty
• World Whiskey Society 31-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky Distilled by Macallan Distillery
• The Singleton of Glen Ord Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 40 Years
• The Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Tale of the Dog Aged 42 Years

After the blind tasting, I ranked these based on taste alone. It was not easy. Cards on the table — these were all spectacular. There is really no other way to cut it so let’s dive right in.

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• The Best Scotch Whiskies Of 2023, According To The International Wine & Spirits Competition Awards
• The Full Core Line Of Johnnie Walker Scotch Whisky Bottles, Ranked
• The Best Whiskeys To Chase Down This July

Part 1 — The Ultra-Rare Scotch Whisky Tasting

Taste 1

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Soft hints of stewed plums cut with sweet cinnamon, bitter clove, and salted dark chocolate mingle with a sense of old but very soft suede, dusty oak beams in an old wine cellar, and this fleeting sense of old honey stored in stone pots of eons with an echo of orange blossom.

Palate: The palate builds on that mild floral vibe with and aura of rose-water-laced moist marzipan dipped in creamy dark chocolate with an edge of cinnamon bark and dried apple bushels countering everything.

Finish: The end has another note of that old honey and stone pots with a lingering sense of pipe tobacco dipped in apple honey and rolled with dry strings of cedar bark and strips of musty leather.

Initial Thoughts:

Delicious. Deep. Divine. I want this whisky in my life every day.

Taste 2

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This is almost … fresh on the nose with a sense of tart and woody black currants, fresh plum, mango juice, and red grapes that then veers into the abyss with a sense of old boot leather, maple wood dipped in varnish, and waxy sense of ambergris (I swear) — think boot cream, fresh tobacco, and sandalwood with a hint of salt.

Palate: The taste takes the fruit and tosses it into a fruit salad that’s cut with seawater and nori that’s then countered by menthol tobacco and sharp citrus oils with a whisper of cherry-flavored cream soda.

Finish: A twinge of grapefruit oil drives the finish toward this fleeting sense of cellar dirt, more ambergris, and mint chocolate chip ice cream that’s laced with pipe tobacco and black currants.

Initial Thoughts:

This is wildly delicious with a hint of bourbon lurking deep in the profile. It also kind of just keeps going and I have no desire for it to end.

Taste 3

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Imagine the best, most bespoke dark chocolate-covered raisins from an expensive chocolate shop and you’ll be on the right track next to soft ginger candy, sweet oak, and malted cookies dipped in fresh honey.

Palate: Those sweet notes are the foundation for burnt orange peels, Almond Roca candies, and sweet caramel malts over a mix of smoked cinnamon bark wrapped around black-tea-soaked dates and a hint of moist marzipan.

Finish: The finish is so long that you might still be thinking about it on your deathbed, thanks to an orange/spice/nutty matrix of silky whisky smoothness.

Initial Thoughts:

This is so good. I guess it’s a tad lighter than the last two, but … who cares when it’s this goddamn tasty?

Taste 4

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with a sense of black-tea-soaked dates blended with Saigon cinnamon and freshly ground nutmeg next to blackstrap molasses, walnut cake, old oak staves soaked in floral honey, moist marzipan laced with orange oils and dipped in salted dark chocolate, and a little twinge of bourbon vanilla cherries.

Palate: The palate pops with dark cherry cordial on the palate next to stewed plums with anise and clove, old leather tobacco pouches, and a touch of creamy espresso.

Finish: The end is a mix of dark chocolate and brandy-soaked cherries next to spent oolong tea leaves, walnut shells, and salted black licorice with a bold warmth of heavily spiced caramel malts.

Initial Thoughts:

Wow. This is bold whisky. The end is almost hot but just pulls back to hold onto an incredible balance. That said, I can see this being a little hot for some palates.

Taste 5

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Old fruit leather — think dried plum and fig skins — mingle with burnt grapefruit pith, caramelized orange sauce, and salted dark chocolate covered dried cranberry with a deep sense of buttery walnut cake cut with cinnamon and clove and drizzled with spiced cherry syrup.

Palate: That spiced cherry drives the palate toward apple pie filling, grilled white peaches drizzled with honey, and lychee with a hint of kiwi and star fruit leading to spice barks and tobacco boxes.

Finish: The chocolate comes back on the end with more of that walnut cake and cherry driving the finish toward a moist and soft finish full of spice, orchard fruits, and soft tobacco.

Initial Thoughts:

This is just incredible. The depth. The balance. It’s … perfect.

Taste 6

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with the softest marzipan (Niedderegger) dipped in fruity and beautiful brandy next to almost savory pear, apple taffy, and pomelo skins over Sicilian cannolis filled with orange-kissed cream and touched with pistachio and brandied-cherries.

Palate: That malted oak cake gets soaked in cognac with a floral fruitiness and a bright summer’s breeze as a hint of rye bread crusts just kissed with sweet anise brings the taste back toward clove and nutmeg sweet Christmas mincemeat pies and a twinge of dark mulled wine.

Finish: That rye and anise counter the soft malted spice cakes with a deep almond marzipan nuttiness that’s accented with pear brandy, orange oils, and vanilla cream with a deeply old wine cellar echo lingering underneath it all.

Initial Thoughts:

This ends in a dusty old wine cellar and it 100% works for me. I guess if I was being very picky, it does feel kind of all over the place like a rollercoaster through the hits of Scotch whisky. But it’s a rollercoaster I want to be on.

Taste 7

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Soft orchard fruit — plums, pears, quince — mingle on the nose with a light sense of roasting sage, thyme, and rosemary — all fresh and oily — before a mild note of old cellar oak and dried prosciutto skins arrive.

Palate: The taste leans into the orchard fruit before curing everything with salt, creating a tart yet salted plum/apricot/pear vibe that leads to soft yet dry cacao with a hint of spice barks.

Finish: Those spice barks get sharp and peppery on the finish as the chocolate mellows toward salted figs, plums, and pears that have just been kissed with cherry smoke.

Initial Thoughts:

This feels classic and fresh at the same time. Maybe it’s too “classic” but that’s me really stretching to not just say “it’s amazing.”

Taste 8

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a classic sense of old and sweet malts on the nose that leads you to sweet and floral perfume that’s so subtle and enticing before a hint of sticky toffee pudding and geranium bound toward old mint rolled into chocolate malts.

Palate: The palate has a soft and salted toffee with honey nut cluster dusted with light notes of sweet winter spice and floral orchard blossoms before a hint more of honey and sweet old oak arrives.

Finish: That sweet oak drives the finish toward nutty creaminess, old orchard wood, and a sense of soft summer flowers with a hint of malt cookies cut with raisin and cinnamon.

Initial Thoughts:

This is incredibly succinct while delivering an incredible depth and overall experience. This is wildly good whisky.

Part 2 — The Ultra-Rare Scotch Whisky Ranking

8. World Whiskey Society 31-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky Distilled by Macallan Distillery — Taste 6

ABV: 53.7%

Average Price: $9,999

The Whisky:

The World Whiskey Society bottled this amazingly rare whisky this year. The whisky in this very bespoke bottle is from a single 31-year-old sherry cask that The Macallan had in its warehouses. It was bottled at cask strength, which means only 71 bottles were filled.

Bottom Line:

This felt like the most wide-reaching pour and lacked a little bit of focus. There was just a lot going on and it almost started to feel overwhelming. That said, I kind of wanted to be overwhelmed because everything was amped up to 11 and delicious.

I’d reach for this if I wanted to think about the whisky I was drinking and really ponder it. This is a thinkin’ whisky!

7. The GlenDronach Grandeur Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 28 Years — Taste 4

ABV: 48.9%

Average Price: $800

The Whisky:

The GlenDronach Grandeur Batch 11 was created by Dr. Rachel Barrie (who also created the BenRiach above). Dr. Barrie hand-selected a tiny number of rare Pedro Ximénez and oloroso Sherry casks that were filled with The GlenDronach malt almost 30 years ago. Those barrels were vatted and bottled with a touch of water into just over 3,000 bottles.

Bottom Line:

That bold warmth and deep woodiness is a lot. This is not for the passive whisky drinker. This is for something looking to be challenged. I’d pour this over a single large rock and be very happy.

6. The Singleton of Glen Ord Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 40 Years — Taste 7

ABV: 45.9%

Average Price: $1,127

The Whiskey:

This new release from The Singleton of Glen Ord is a well-aged masterpiece. The malt spent 12 years aging in old bourbon casks before being re-barreled into fresh used oak for another 37 years. Finally, those barrels were vatted and that whisky was re-filled into a mix of rum casks which were ex-solera rum casks of Zacapa XO Rum and Zacapa Royal Rum. Finally, the whisky was vatted and bottled as-is.

Bottom Line:

If you’re looking for the best “classic” unpeated single malt experience that will not challenge you, this is the pour for you.

5. The Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Sample Room Collection 25 Years Of Age — Taste 3

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $499

The Whisky:

This masterpiece from Glenlivet is their iconic whisky that’s left to mature for 25 years. That whisky is finished in first-fill Pedro Ximenez sherry and Troncais oak cognac casks for that final chef’s kiss before going in the bottle at an incredibly accessible 80 proof.

Bottom Line:

This was more than classic unpeated malt. This felt (and tasted) quintessential. It’s so deep and satisfying while feeling like going home again for the holidays.

4. Glenglassaugh Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky 46 Years Old — Taste 2

ABV: 41.7%

Average Price: $4,800

The Whiskey:

Glenglassaugh is a reborn distillery in Scotland — having operated from the 1800s to the 1980s before getting mothballed for over two decades before its resurgence in 2008. This is important to know in that the whiskey in this bottle was made in 1975 during the last years of the distillery’s 20th-century heyday. Living legend Master Blender Rachel Barrie found this barrel (a bourbon cask) in the stocks, and by some sort of whisky miracle, there was juice in the barrel. That whisky was bottled as-is at barrel strength and sent exclusively to the U.S.

Bottom Line:

This is great whisky. If you’re looking for a killer single malt with a hint of Kentucky bourbon lurking in the profile, give this a shot.

3. The Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Tale of the Dog Aged 42 Years — Taste 8

ABV: 47%

Average Price: $18,799

The Whiskey:

This whisky was named after a famed whisky thief — or “dog” — that was flattened to stop too much whisky being thieved back in the day. The actual whisky in the bottle is from two casks that were put on the racks in 1974 and 1978 and left alone.

Bottom Line:

This is an incredibly delicious whisky. And at this point in the ranking, I’m splitting hairs so microscopic that you’d need a NASA-grade microscope to see them.

2. Glenfiddich Suspended Time Aged 30 Years, Time Re:Imagined Collection — Taste 1

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $1,399

The Whisky:

This new line from Glenfiddich is all about slow and steady aging over decades. In this case, this ultra-rare whisky was aged for three decades in ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks until it hit a perfect point for batching, proofing, and bottling this year.

Bottom Line:

This has the perfect balance of being incredibly deep but still 100% accessible. You feel like you’re being nourished with every sip. The word “perfect” actually pops into your head when you sip it.

1. The BenRiach Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Forty — Taste 5

ABV: 43.5%

Average Price: $4,500

The Whisky:

Legendary Master Blender Rachel Barrie assembled this from a few select barrels that survived to 40 years. The peated malt rested in both bourbon casks and Port casks. Those barrels were batched and just kissed with water for this amazingly rare bottling.

Bottom Line:

This stuff is amazing. It’s just… amazing. Get me a thesaurus — I’m at a loss for words.

Part 3 — Final Thoughts on the Ultra-Rare Scotch Whisky

I’m going to be honest here. The top four whiskies on this list are all basically tied for first. The difference between them quality-wise or taste-wise is so minuscule that it’s silly. Then the bottom four are all there because they offer something a little different from each other. But they’re all incredible pours, too.

Look at it this way, go back through the tasting notes and find the whisky that speaks to you. Then hit up the best whisky bar you know and maybe you’ll get to try one of these too. Or hit those price links and see if you can score a bottle in your neck of the woods. These are truly amazing whisky experiences that will deliver something special in every single nose and sip.

Moreover, these whiskies feel like you’re getting a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience. You can’t put a price on that.

Hard Knocks is headed to New York this training camp, and the team that is slated to appear on the show seems pretty upset about the arrangement. Last week, it was announced that the New York Jets were selected from the list of eligible teams — the Bears, Commanders, Jets, and Saints — to appear on HBO’s annual series that takes football fans inside of training camp.

The problem here is that the Jets have been pretty clear in their desire to avoid the show, with head coach Robert Saleh saying earlier this offseason that Hard Knocks is not for them and star quarterback Aaron Rodgers saying “they forced it down our throats” after the decision was made. And on Monday’s episode of Get Up!, ESPN’s Adam Schefter made clear that the Jets are going to take a more reserved approach to things.

“The Jets fought it all along,” Schefter said at the 2:50 mark of the above video. “They met with NFL Films, and told them clear as day: We don’t want to do this. And while you’re all talking about the last time the Jets did it with Rex Ryan and Mike Tannenbaum, they were along for the ride. This group is not along for the ride, and Hard Knocks will not be the same because they’re not gonna be given the same access. The Jets don’t believe it’s human to show players being released, so it would surprise me if we see them this summer.

“This is a partnership, this is a relationship, and the Jets are not interested in being partners with NFL Films, no matter what they say,” he continued. “So, they’re gonna go in there because it is, as Aaron Rodgers says, being forced down their throats. But the Jets are not going to provide the level of cooperation that the Lions provided last year or that other teams have provided in other years. And essentially, in the end, because the Jets were unwilling to go along with it, and because the Commanders don’t have the new owner approved yet and the league couldn’t go there, the league wanted to go to the Jets. The Jets didn’t want [it]. That’s why they waited until last week, because there was no other option and the league said, essentially, to the Jets, you’re doing it and that’s the way it’s gonna go down.”

The Jets certainly deserve some credit if they’re going to look out for guys who are getting cut by not making a big deal out of that, although that appears to be more speculation by Schefter than anything. Regardless, it seems pretty clear that few, if any, folks in New York want this, and we’ll have to wait and see what happens on Hard Knocks as a result.

The words “healthy” and “fast food” pretty much seem at complete odds with one another. But that doesn’t mean that just because you’re pressed for time, out of the house, and trying to get fed on the cheap, you have to subject yourself to total garbage, deep-fried food, and empty calories (ditch the soda… unless you really love it). Truth be told, underneath all the decadent double cheeseburgers, epic burritos, cheese fries, and spicy chicken sandwiches, there are some sensible well-balanced meals out there in the fast food landscape.

In the past, we broke down and ranked five of the most popular and healthiest fast food meals you can find right now, but that left a lot of different restaurants out of the picture entirely. If your favorite wasn’t included in that short list, we feel you — which is why now we’re shouting out the best-tasting healthy dishes at every major chain across the fast food universe.

Sadly, this is simpler/ shorter than it sounds — a lot of fast food joints have dropped any semblance of healthy eating from their menu.

Before we dive in let us say this: we’re not saying these are the healthiest dishes at each restaurant. Instead, what we’re looking for is something that is healthy and sensible from a caloric/sodium/fat content standpoint, but still tastes good and doesn’t feel like you’re compromising flavor in favor of nutritional stats. If a brand isn’t on this list — Arbys, Burger King, McDonald’s — it’s because they aren’t even trying to cater to the health-conscious anymore.

Let’s dive in!

Chick-fil-A — Grilled Chicken Sandwich

Calories: 390
Fat: 12g
Sodium: 770mg
Carbs: 44g
Protein: 28g

Tasting Notes:

It’s easy to overlook Chick-fil-A’s Grilled Chicken Sandwich because the chain is known for its fried chicken sandwich and it does that pretty damn well. But guess what? This just might be the best grilled chicken sandwich in the whole game!

Despite the way it looks, this chicken filet is incredibly juicy and well marinated with a lemon juice and black pepper-dominated flavor further seasoned by some grill-charred notes and a tender texture that is easy to chew through, no sauce required.

The sandwich is built on a multigrain bun with leaf lettuce and super ripe tomatoes which bring a nice fresh vibe to the whole sandwich. In fact, I think the lettuce and tomato work better here than on the fried version of the sandwich.

If you feel like cheating a little bit, go ahead and add cheese to this sandwich for an even better experience, your choices are American (gross), Colby Jack (delicious, creamy, and salty), and Pepper Jack (the best option).

The Bottom Line:

Good enough that once you have it, some days you’ll opt for this sandwich over its fried counterpart.

Find your nearest Chick-fil-A here.

Chipotle — Uproxx Custom Burrito Bowl

Calories: 670
Fat: 21g
Sodium: NA
Carbs: 78g
Protein: 44g

Tasting Notes:

This is probably the third or fourth time we’ve recommended four custom Chipotle Burrito Bowl build, but we’re not going to stop anytime soon because we have created, without a doubt, the best Chipotle Burrito Bowl ever.

We did extensive building to get this just right. Here’s the build:

• barbacoa
• pinto beans
• white rice
• extra fajitas
• tomatillo red salsa
• roasted corn salsa
• cheese
• lettuce
• a drizzle of jalapeño tabasco (which for some reason Chipotle keeps by the soda machine).

What you’ll get with that build is forkful after forkful of smokey, earthy, and spicy flavors that finish sweet courtesy of a mix of cumin, oregano, and other spices. Best of all, thanks to the fajitas, this dish is incredibly aromatic and the way the flavors soak into the rice is heaven for your palate.

We went with white rice for our build and we think the stats look great, but feel free to up the fiber by swapping white rice for brown.

The Bottom Line:

Just try it, you won’t be disappointed. If you’re going Keto, check out our keto bowl build here.

Find your nearest Chipotle here.

El Pollo Loco Classic Double Chicken Chopped Salad

Calories: 490
Fat: 14g
Sodium: 900mg
Carbs: 14g
Protein: 48g

Tasting Notes:

The best thing about El Pollo Loco is just about everything on the menu is healthy, it’s all based on flame-grilled chicken, so you can’t really go wrong with this entire menu. Having said that, if you want one of the healthiest dishes that doesn’t skimp on flavor, you have to go with the Double Chicken Chopped Salad.

It’s more chicken than you’ll need (which is a good problem to have) mixed with buttery slices of fresh avocado, earthy pumpkin seeds, creamy queso fresco, some admittedly forgettable greens, spicy and fresh pico de Gallo, and a nice creamy cilantro dressing that enhances the freshness of the salad with a cool peppery finish. But why stop at the cilantro dressing? Add avocado salsa to the whole thing for a sharp kick of heat.

It comes dangerously close to besting what Chipotle has to offer at less than half of the price.

The Bottom Line:

Hands down one of the best salads in all of fast food.

Find your nearest El Pollo Loco here.

Jack in the Box — Chicken Fajita Pita

Calories: 320
Fat: 9g
Sodium: 67-mg
Carbs: 34g
Protein: 27g

Tasting Notes:

Jack in the Box used to have a variety of delicious salads that were operating on the level of Wendy’s and then the pandemic happened and fast food brands started to ditch salads completely to simplify their menus. So unfortunately, while I would’ve liked to recommend the Southwest Chicken Salad from Jack in the Box, it’s not a thing anymore — so I’m going with the Fajita Pita.

This sandwich (wrap?) isn’t the best I’m not going to lie, it features bland grilled chicken, shredded cheddar cheese, lettuce, grilled onions, and tomato all mixed together and served in a whole grain pita with a side of roasted salsa. The salsa, grilled onions, and tomato do a lot of the flavoring for this thing — it’s savory and has a slight umami-backed flavor to it — but alas, it never really satisfies the way you want it to. It feels like it’s missing some crucial ingredient to wrap it all together.

So why did it make this list? Because it’s the only relatively healthy thing you can order at Jack in the Box, and that’s something right? Right?!

The Bottom Line:

Skip this one, but if you end up at a Jack in the Box and want something relatively healthy this is your best option.

Find your nearest Jack in the Box here.

Panda Express — String Bean Chicken Breast

Calories: 190 + 380 (White Rice)
Fat: 8g
Sodium: 840mg
Carbs: 34g + 87g (White Rice)
Protein: 19g + 7g (White Rice)

Tasting Notes:

Panda Express has a whole bunch of different delicious and sensible protein options on the menu, but the String Bean Chicken Breast is hands down our favorite, it also has the least amount of calories — so it really feels like a win-win.

Sampling this dish in preparation for this article made me realize that I’ve been sleeping on Panda Express, this is some deliciously flavorful food.

The chicken is tender and juicy with a soft floral ginger flavor and a touch of sweetened soy sauce, which works well with the vegetal qualities and wonderful crunch of the string beans and onions. It’s delicious enough that you could eat a bowl of just the chicken and veggies and be satisfied, no rice required.

But rice certainly makes it a meal, so we included the stats assuming you’re going to get rice.

The Bottom Line:

Delicious and incredibly flavorful without compromise.

Find your nearest Panda Express here.

Flame Broiler — Chicken Veggie Bowl with Avocado

Calories: 780
Fat: 4.5g
Sodium: 1250mg
Carbs: 102g
Protein: 53g

Tasting Notes:

If you’re looking for the best teriyaki bowl from a fast food chain restaurant, nobody does it like Flame Broiler (your local Japanese teriyaki bowl place is likely even better, but those are few and far between). The chicken is fresh, never frozen, and grilled to perfection.

Our favorite bowl is the veggie bowl which features steamed carrot and broccoli, white rice, and chicken cooked in what Flame Broiler calls “Magic Sauce,” which is a bold thing to call something that is essentially a cheap form of teriyaki sauce that goes heavy on the sweetness.

In addition to the magic sauce, Flame Broiler also provides Hot Sauce, Jalapeño hot sauce, and Seoul Scorcher. None of these sauces are quite as good as the magic sauce, but if you’re looking or some extra heat definitely grab the Seoul Scorcher — it tastes a bit like gochujang.

Flame Broiler’s flavors are simple, just heavily charred chicken over neutral white rice and bright steamed veggies with a touch of sweetness. Where the bowl really comes alive is by adding slices of fresh avocado, which adds a savory and buttery component that pairs really nicely with the flame-forward flavor of the chicken.

The Bottom Line:

The gold standard for fast food teriyaki bowls.

Find your nearest Flame Broiler here.

In-N-Out — Tomato Wrap Cheeseburger

Calories: 520
Fat: 39g
Sodium: 1160mg
Carbs: 11g
Protein: 33g

Tasting Notes:

The In-N-Out Tomato Wrap dunks on the Protein Style. Instead of wrapping your delicious salty cheeseburger in lettuce, which just creates a mess, opt to have it wrapped in tomato instead. You get four slices of juicy thick tomato serving as the perfect bun, best of all with four tomatoes this burger is so juicy that you don’t even need sauce, which will save you nearly 100 calories.

The combination of grilled onions, juicy tomato, and meat will provide a savory umami-packed flavor that is as mouthwatering as a burger with a bun.

The Bottom Line:

Better than lettuce wrapped — try it and you’ll never look back.

Find your nearest In-N-Out here.

Panera — Napa Almond Chicken Salad on Country Rustic Sourdough

Calories: 640
Fat: 25g
Sodium: 970mg
Carbs: 78g
Protein: 27g

Tasting Notes:

Chick-fil-a’s grilled chicken sandwich is what I call a “starter sandwich.” It gets you comfortable with the idea of a grilled chicken sandwich over a fried one, but if you want something that truly goes all out while still being healthy and sensible, you have to go with Panera’s Napa Almond Chicken Salad on Country Rustic Sourdough.

The sandwich features sliced chicken, celery, red grapes, toasted almonds, tomatoes, greens, and salt and pepper, all brought together with a sweet honey and vinegar-based sauce served over some tangy and wonderfully chewy sourdough.

This is a treat for the palate, it combines pleasing bitter notes with nutty tones, earthy and fragrant pepper notes, bright vegetal qualities, and a hint of sweet sour goodness. The sauce and tomato end each bite with a tangy and savory umami quality that makes this sandwich incredibly satisfying.

The Bottom Line:

An elevated fast food grilled chicken sandwich on delicious bread. Level it up (and up the calories) with some fresh avocado.

Find your nearest Panera here.

Starbucks — Spinach Feta and Egg White Wrap

Calories: 290
Fat: 8g
Sodium: 840mg
Carbs: 34g
Protein: 19g

Tasting Notes:

Here is the thing about the Starbucks Spinach Feta and Egg White Wrap — it is easily the weakest option on this entire list. My suggestion is to actually skip out on food entirely from Starbucks and just grab a pack of Madelines, but that’s not exactly healthy, is it?

As it stands, this wrap will have a small footprint in your overall daily intake of calories and fat while providing enough protein and energy to get you through a good chunk of hours. The wrap features egg whites mixed with spinach, feta cheese, and sun-dried tomato cream cheese in a wheat wrap.

The dominant flavors are a mix of dirty salty flavors with a bright and tangy aftertaste courtesy of the sun-dried tomato cream cheese.

The Bottom Line:

It’ll satisfy for a couple of hours, but it’s not the most exciting meal you’ll ever eat. Having said that, nothing at Starbucks is — people who buy food from Starbucks are weird!

Find your nearest Starbucks here.

Taco Bell — Black Bean Crunchwrap Supreme

Calories: 520
Fat: 18g
Sodium: 1100mg
Carbs: 77g
Protein: 13g

Tasting Notes:

Originally we were going to shout out the Power Bowl as the prime healthy option at Taco Bell but… have you ever had a Power Bowl? It’s awful. Mostly because it relies too heavily on rice and lettuce, two ingredients that Taco Bell straight-up sucks at.

So we’re going with the Black Bean Crunchwrap Supreme. Is it sodium and carb-heavy? Yes, but it’s delicious, and a meal that’ll satisfy as good as a burger with less than half the calories.

This Crunchwrap features a mix of black beans, nacho cheese sauce, tomatoes, reduced-fat sour cream, and lettuce, on top of a tostada shell wrapped in a giant flour tortilla. The black beans add texture and a heavy earthy flavor, while the cheese sauce brings in a strong salty component to this super crunchy meal. The rest of the ingredients are there simply there for texture.

The Bottom Line:

Watch your sodium intake, aside from that the Black Bean Crunchwrap is a hearty yet sensible meal.

Find your nearest Taco Bell here.

Waba Grill — White Meat Chicken Veggie Bowl

Calories: 710
Fat: 5g
Sodium: 2505
Carbs: 113g
Protein: 47g

Tasting Notes:

Generally, in a chicken teriyaki rice bowl, I’ll opt for dark meat because it’s significantly more flavorful and much juicier than white meat, especially white meat that has been flame grilled. But at Waba Grill I’m going to have to recommend the white meat, Waba’s dark meat is way too fatty and chewy. Calorically, it’s the same, but I saved you at least a couple of fat grams, so — you’re welcome!

This bowl features grilled white meat, steamed rice, broccoli, and carrot. The sauce, which is a simple teriyaki-style sauce (it lacks the complex and sweet mirin and sake blend that makes true teriyaki sauce have such a nice depth of flavor) is cooked on the chicken, which caramelizes really nicely and provides enough sweet flavor that you shouldn’t need any extra sauce. The broccoli supplies some bitter earthiness which works as a nice counterbalance to the sauce while the carrot enhances and deepens the sweet flavors.

My only criticism is that I would prefer a bit more char on the meat. You can order this bowl with brown rice, but I find Waba Grill’s brown rice to be very mushy.

The Bottom Line:

A delicious healthy meal that doesn’t sacrifice flavor in any way. It’s not quite as good as Flame Broiler, but it’s close.

Find your nearest Waba Grill here.

Wendy’s — Apple Pecan Salad

Calories: 450 + 90 (Dressing)
Fat: 25g + 3g (Dressing)
Sodium: 1230mg (Fried Chicken) + 190mg (Dressing)
Carbs: 28g
Protein: 32g

Tasting Notes:

Wendy’s is one of the few big fast food brands that still have salads, and that is thanks to the fact that Wendy’s is one of the few big fast food brands that can put together a decent salad in the first place. The Apple Pecan combines diced red and green apples, pecans, cranberries, and bleu cheese crumbles, and is topped with either Wendy’s spicy, homestyle, or grilled chicken served over some romaine and green leaf lettuce.

The flavors are a shifting mix of salty, sweet, fruity, and nutty sensations which are pulled together by Wendy’s pomegranate vinaigrette dressing — which helps to accentuate the sweetness from the apples and cranberry — and the tartness from the… cranberry and apples. It’s a really well-thought-out and considered salad and, unfortunately, you don’t see too much of that in fast food anymore.

The Bottom Line:

A delicious salad that actually tastes like someone somewhere thought really hard about how these flavors complement and elevate one another.

Find your nearest Wendy’s here.

Jeff Teague had a very solid 11-year career in the NBA, spending most of his time with the Atlanta Hawks before stops in Indiana, Minnesota, Boston, and Milwaukee (where he got a ring as part of the 2021 title team).

While in the league, Teague was not known much as a talker, as he was usually pretty quiet and didn’t tend to talk a lot in the media — I covered Jeff for 5 years in Atlanta and he was usually happier to talk about wrestling than he was basketball. As such, I would not have figured he would enter the podcasting space and be one of the best at it, but that has been exactly what has happened since retiring.

Teague’s Club 520 Podcast has become a viral sensation as clips of Teague telling incredible stories from his time in the league get passed around TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. What makes Teague’s podcast so funny is that he doesn’t use it to try and make his career seem better than it was, instead he actually tends to make himself out to be far worse than he really was. He’s constantly telling stories about run-ins he’s had with stars talking shit to him, including a hilarious story at the end of their episode with Glen Robinson III about Kevin Garnett following him into the tunnel after he airballed a game-winner — and then later got on all fours and barked at him during a game.

Teague’s ability to laugh at himself is quite rare for a professional athlete, and I really do love how so many of his stories, even that start off about his best moments, tend to be followed up with him talking about how he very quickly messed up or was terrified in the moment. In this one, it starts as him talking about his favorite dunk coming against Ray Allen and the Celtics, only for him to ruin it at the end of the game by pulling up for a game-winner that missed everything.

It’s a bad week for tour news. Just a day after Lil Baby unceremoniously dumped several dates from his upcoming It’s Only Us Tour — and saw tour opener The Kid Laroi jump ship in turn — Baby’s frequent collaborator Lil Durk has also canceled a slew of upcoming dates, per XXL. While Baby’s cancellations are being blamed on poor ticket sales, though, Durk’s Sorry For The Drought Tour dates were 86ed after the Chicago rapper was hospitalized with “severe dehydration,” according to TMZ. After a week-long stay, he was told not to travel, prompting the cancellations.

In a statement, he said, “My fans mean everything to me, you’re the reason why I do this. I was looking forward to touching all of my European fans, performing this week(end), attending the ESPYs and more but after performing and traveling daily I’ve become severely dehydrated and advised by my doctors not to travel due to exhaustion. Once I get my full energy back, it’s back to business which I’m looking forward to.”

Durk’s tour now consists of just five dates, including Tampa, a pair of Chicago dates, Indiana, and Houston. It’s unclear whether his opening acts DD Osama, Kodak Black, and NLE Choppa will join him.

“Do you guys ever think about dying?”

Analysts don’t agree on what Barbie will make when it lands in theaters this weekend, but they all think it’s gonna be pretty big. According to Variety, the estimates range from Warner Bros. claiming $75 million to exhibitors claiming $140 million, and a common sense average of around $100 million.

So far, this summer has been a season of missteps. Elemental, The Flash, and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny all underperformed, calling into question the bankability of blockbusters going forward. Greta Gerwig’s tongue-in-cheek adaptation of a famous plastic doll seeks to reset the narrative alongside it’s natural enemy/lover Oppenheimer, which analysts expect to see earn $50 million on far fewer screens.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One already earned a quarter of a billion international gross last weekend, so the prospect of another big Friday-to-Sunday run (you just pictured Tom Cruise running) combined with Barbie and Oppenheimer might make this the biggest box office weekend of the summer.

Sadly, AMC Theaters have reported that only about 40,000 people have bought double feature tickets for Barbie and Oppenheimer, a number that should be well into the millions. There’s only one shot at seeing them both in one go.

Until they’re both available to watch on a flight, and Christopher Nolan will slap you in the face if you do it that way. Probably Gerwig, too. Get it together, people.

(via Variety)

At exactly the same moment in the After The Bite trailer where it’s natural to think, “Oh, right. Like Jaws,” a voice jumps in to remind you that it’s frivolous to get distracted by the Jaws-iness of the situation.

The documentary from director Ivy Meeropol chronicles the aftermath of a deadly shark attack, listening to the voices of the community, and extrapolating out to the bigger climate picture of why so many sharks are in the waters in the first place.

Here’s the official synopsis:

“A 2018 fatal shark attack on a boogie boarder in the town of Wellfleet, Massachusetts rocked visitors and residents in the idyllic summer community of Cape Cod, forcing them to respond to the encroachment of apex predators. With the numbers of sharks increasing every year, After The Bite explores the far-reaching repercussions for this beach community when rapid changes in the natural world begin to clash with a cherished way of life.

After The Bite is a deep dive into how one coastal community is renegotiating their relationship with our rapidly changing environment. The changes are numerous: warmer waters, species interacting where they never had before, along with the rapidly increasing numbers of the shark’s favorite prey, the North Atlantic gray seal, whose population has rebounded since seals were protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act of 1972.”

With perspectives from lifeguards, conservationists, fishermen, journalists, paramedics, town residents, activists, and scientists, the documentary has every sharp angle covered.

After The Bite hits Max July 26th. Just in time to make us rethink our summer choices.

For the past 25-ish years, the murder of Tupac Shakur has remained hip-hop’s great unsolved mystery. But despite being nearly three decades old, the case has apparently never gone completely cold. Las Vegas Police recently sent out a press release notifying journalistic outlets that a warrant was served in nearby Henderson.

The statement reads, “LVMPD can confirm a search warrant was served in Henderson, Nevada on July 17, 2023, as part of the ongoing Tupac Shakur homicide investigation. We will have no further comment at this time.”

There’s not much to make of, there. After all, while the (possibly paired) murders of Tupac and friend-turned-enemy The Notorious BIG have been biopic inspiration and gossip fodder for the past 20 years, most of what’s out there has been speculation. The killings remain a subject of fascination largely due to the levels of celebrity involved, and the fact that two hip-hop icons were embroiled in a bitter war of words at the time of their deaths.

But much of the mythmaking has taken place after the fact; in 2021, Fat Joe claimed he’d worked with BIG on an album full of Tupac disses — a narrative subtly supported in 2022 by Busta Rhymes. Diddy also compared Jay-Z to the two late rappers. Meanwhile, FX recently aired a documentary about Tupac’s mom that generated a fair amount of buzz.

Ultimately, though, if police really found anything incriminating, they’d likely lead with that.

The View had a very animated panel discussion on Tuesday morning as the co-hosts tackled the latest controversy surrounding Miranda Lambert. The country music star recently made headlines after she scolded fans for taking selfies during a performance at her Las Vegas residency on Saturday night.

While new evidence has come to light that shows the selfie-takers were being pretty obnoxious, The View panel was notably divided on who was out of line: Lambert or the fans. Sunny Hostin argued that she’s “going to take as many selfies as I want if I paid $757 for tickets,” which did not go over well with Whoopi Goldberg.

Via Entertainment Weekly:

“You know what? Stay home,” the Oscar-winning Ghost actress said. “If you’re going to spend $750 to come to my concert, then give me the respect of watching me while I do my thing, or don’t come.”

After Hostin said that she likes to keep memories from concerts on her phone to rewatch, Goldberg got up from her moderator seat and said, “Turn on the television, girl.”

However, Goldberg then did something that completely contradicted her argument. In the middle of the panel discussion, the co-host got up out of her seat and walked off camera to the surprise of the panel. “I’m leaving y’all,” Goldberg said as she headed into the audience for a surprise twist.

“I want to take a picture with this marvelous woman, who is 91. So, we’re going to do a selfie. Just me and you,” Goldberg said while posing for the photo. “Will you push that button? We’ll be right back.”

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

Have you ever heard of Palessi shoes? It’s a luxury shoe brand that only sells its shoes in pop-up events in upscale malls. But if you want to buy these shoes, you have to be one of the chosen VIPs, since shopping at Palessi is by “invitation only.”

Palessi looks like what you’d expect a luxury pop–up to look like, with a sleek, modern feel and each shoe being highlighted in its own lighted space. And the shopping experience does too, with young, hip, model-gorgeous employees dressed to the nines showing off the unique, stylistic features of each shoe before casually mentioning their $645 price tag.

If you’re one of the fashion influencers invited to shop at this new luxury shoe store, you wouldn’t bat an eye at that price. After all, the Palessi brand means something, and that’s the going price for a high-quality, luxury shoe, right?

Right. Except Palessi isn’t a real brand, and that $645 pair of shoes actually cost $35 at Payless.

Yes, the exact same pair of shoes.

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The Palessi pop-up was a real social experiment run by now-defunct Payless ShoeSource in 2018 to make a point. “Luxury” items are far more about perceived value than actual value, and it’s not that hard to get people to buy into a brand simply through presentation and a hefty price tag.

All Payless did was create the Palessi “brand,” including a website and social media pages, and then invite a bunch of fashion influencers to a pop-up grand opening. The influencers were wined and dined them and then sold Payless shoes as “Palessi” with a markup of hundreds of dollars.

See on Instagram

One influencer said she would pay $400 for a pair of sneakers she was shown.

Another influencer said, “I can tell it was made with high-quality material.”

Watch how they reacted to finding out they’d been duped into believing Payless shoes were a fancy, luxury shoe brand.

Does this mean that all shoes are created equal? Not quite. But it does mean that how much we perceive something to be worth can be a far cry from what it’s actually worth, and it’s not terribly difficult for companies to convince people to pay far more than they should for an item simply through effective marketing.

Not to mention, so much of the justification for buying expensive brands is that they are of higher quality and will therefore last longer, but since fashion preferences change so quickly, is that longevity even worth paying for? While comfort and style may be worth paying for, is it really worth a thousand percent more to buy a luxury brand? Especially when the people who are supposedly in the know can’t even tell the difference?