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To paraphrase Gomez Addams, they say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, Donald Trump is inching closer to being that fool.

During a speech at the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster in Bedminster, New Jersey on Thursday, the scandal-ridden former president claimed that he’s turned down some of the “biggest” lawyers in the country from representing him while he faces dozens of federal criminal charges. “I tell all these people, they all come in — they want to help,” Trump rambled. “The biggest, some of the biggest people, the biggest law firms, the biggest lawyers, I say listen, ‘I don’t need any help. I don’t want any help in campaigns.’”

Earlier this month, two of the former president’s top lawyers resigned from his defense team after the DOJ announced it would charge Trump with 37 counts related to his handling of classified material at his Mar-a-Lago estate. Jim Trusty and John Rowley, who previously led Trump’s legal team in Washington, D.C., indicated they would no longer represent him in the Jack Smith probe and his $475 million defamation suit against CNN.

If Trump is sentenced to 536 years in prison after representing himself in court, every minute since he was elected in 2016 will have been worth it. (OK, not really, but it would be very funny.)

(Via Mediaite)

One of the many pleasant surprises from the freshly dropped second season of The Bear is a pop-in by comedian John Mulaney who plays an amused Chicagoan in the midst of a chaotic Bear family Christmas. It’s great, specifically his exchanges with Sarah Paulson. I want a companion podcast where their two characters provide a searing running commentary about everything happening. I also want snackable videos of him paying Matty Matheson money to execute a series of dares and poorly thought-out financial schemes.

Since we’ve already taken it upon ourselves to plot out Mulaney’s career as it pertains to The Bearverse, let’s also expand into other shows he should cameo on. Because it’s nice when he shows up — as in The Bear, or Bupkis, Crashing, and Dickinson — and because we want to see him both play into and against type in shows as tonally diverse as Yellowstone, Jury Duty, and Billions. So, with that said, here are our pitch.

Yellowstone

We’re starting off with what might be the biggest swing. Yellowstone is the most-watched show in existence but many regard it more as a heartland hit than something in the mainstream (an idea that doesn’t necessarily scan, but I digress). You know what would shake that perception as we head into the show’s end run? Adding the Mulaney bump. Open the tent and bring in urban comedy nerds, Taylor Sheridan.

We’re not talking about a one-off. We want an arc, perhaps one where Mulaney plays a wasp-y big city transplant turned dude ranch operator who, it is eventually revealed, is actually John Dutton’s illegitimate child. And then what if, (gasp) he’s the one who gets the ranch in the end! (I haven’t watched this show in a couple of seasons, there’s still a ranch, right?)

Jury Duty

Now, the creative direction for this idea hinges on whether Mulaney has had time to peek Freevee’s surprise reality hit. If he’s been too busy – being a dad, putting out comedy specials – to catch why a normal bloke named Ronald Gladden is now being fan cast as the next Superman and hamming it up with J.Law at premiere afterparties, well, great. Let’s drop Baby J in season two as the unassuming nice guy a group of professional actors troll to the brink and see how long he lasts. But, if Mulaney happens to know what the words “chair pants” and “soaking” mean, well then cast him as the next James Marsden but with more power. John Mulaney as the foreperson of a fake murder trial? The jokes write themselves.

Yellowjackets

Two ways to go here. #1, John Mulaney plays a grizzled Canadian wilderness tracker who stumbles upon the survivors and leads to their eventual rescue (but he gets eaten in the interim between when he radios for help and when help arrives. These children are very hungry). Or, Mulaney plays the webmaster for the Citizen Detectives who gets suspicious about Walter and Misty and gets a little too close before getting a lot over his head. Your choice, Yellowjackets producers. These ideas are free.

Mrs. Davis

The main premise is John Mulaney as a magician-hating, Nazi-fighting nun – in full regalia atop a majestic steed. I don’t care what plot sorcery must be conjured to deliver that image. Maybe he plays Betty Gilpin’s little brother who must battle an evil AI successor? Perhaps he’s the next Mother Superior, training under Margo Martindale’s tutelage to clean up the mess made when Mrs. Davis was taken offline? I’ll suspend belief for just about anything as long as I get Mulaney in a brightly colored habit.

Abbott Elementary

A lot of ways in here but we’re fixated on the idea of John Mulaney as an extreme helicopter parent and ultra-demanding head of the PTA who makes Ava’s life a living hell while intimidating Jacob to the point of near tears. This feels like Mulaney’s best shot at an Emmy.

What We Do In The Shadows

Nandor has Guillermo. Nadja has her creepy little doll. Where’s Matt Berry’s lackey? Why, he’s right here – a tall drink of water with elocution as recognizable as that of an 18th-century English dandy-turned-vampire. Berry’s already proven his pronunciation of the words “New York Citaayyy” contains melodies more complex than a Beethoven symphony. Add in Mulaney’s signature 1930s radio-broadcaster impression and, well, imagine the phonetic chaos these two could wreak together.

Billions

I just want John Mulaney to play a character who is as confused, annoyed, and fascinated by crypto as I am. I think he’d do well as a nepobaby investor who feels like he was wronged by Dogecoin and so now he’s come to Axe Cap to rebuild his portfolio and his faith in the market. The show turned fellow comic Mike Birbiglia loose to great acclaim earlier in its run. Time to let Johnny eat too.

Secret Invasion

I’ll be honest, I have no idea what the plot of this show is, but here’s the pitch: Skrull Mulaney. If we want to get really meta, maybe we can have his extraterrestrial alter-ego bomb during a comedy set. Not a must, just a suggestion. Do with it what you will, Feige.

Following reports that the Titan submersible most likely imploded after rescue efforts discovered a debris field, the BBC has published emails in which OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush repeatedly rebuffed the warnings from a deep sea exploration specialist.

In the messages dating back to March 2018, Rob McCallum implored Rush to cease using the Titan submersible until it was “classified by an independent body.” Instead, the OceanGate CEO responded with bluster and rage.

“[I’m] tired of industry players who try to use a safety argument to stop innovation,” Rush wrote to McCallum before eventually threatening legal action. However, not before the two men had an exchange that would certainly prove to be regrettable.

Via BBC:

In the messages, Mr Rush, who was among five passengers who died when the Titan experienced what officials believe was a “catastrophic implosion” on Sunday, expresses frustration with the criticism of Titan’s safety measures.

“We have heard the baseless cries of ‘you are going to kill someone’ way too often,” he wrote. “I take this as a serious personal insult.”

As the two men continued to exchange emails, Rush continued to rail against regulations that he believed were put into place by “industry players” who want to prevent “new entrants from entering their small existing market.”

Realizing his efforts were going nowhere, McCallum ended their back and forth with a warning.

“It will be sea trials that determine whether the vehicle can handle what you intend to do with it so again,” McCallum wrote. “Take care and keep safe.”

(Via BBC)

During a recent Fox News segment, host Sandra Smith — a person likely earning a high six-figure salary (or more) who can afford to live comfortably in one of the most expensive cities in the country — opened up about how the housing insecurity crisis in San Francisco has affected her.

While sitting on a The Five panel discussion about the growing community of unhoused people on the West Coast, Smith shared a personal anecdote about witnessing a person defecate on the street in New York City — a traumatic event that we assume she has yet to fully unpack with her therapist.

“The comment about defecating, it gets to me because this has recently happened to me here in New York City,” Smith began. Her co-host Greg Gutfield — as obnoxious and crude as ever — interrupted Smith to crack a joke at her expense. “You were defecating?” he asked.

“No, but I saw someone defecating,” Smith replied. “It was like within three feet of a police car, and it changes you. It’s awful. It’s really awful to see.”

You know what else is really awful? Having to live on the streets because you can’t afford even the sh*ttiest studio apartment in Staten Island on a low wage income.

Smith went on to say she “feels for” people trying to hang on and live in the city they love, but argues things have gotten out of control, i.e., she’s tired of having to ask the Walgreens attendant to unlock the toothpaste case.

“These people who are committing these crimes aren’t even from there, first of all, and now just to go shopping you’re gonna have to walk through metal detectors. I mean what is happening?” Smith asked. “And then once you get through the metal detector, they’re shutting off the second exit — God forbid there’s a fire — and then you get there and you have to go find an employee to open up the locked store shelf to get your toothpaste. I mean, it’s a mess.”

Hopefully, America can solve the housing crisis soon … for Sandra’s sake. Also, NEWSFLASH, people poop outside everywhere, even in Ron DeSantis’ state!

(Via Mediaite)

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s latest presidential campaign tactic seems to be focused on giving Russian President Vladimir Putin some much-needed good press.

The longtime anti-vaxxer who plans to challenge President Joe Biden’s 2024 Democratic nomination gave an interview on SiriusXM’s The Briefing with Steve Scully in which he laid the blame for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine squarely at his own country’s feet. In fact, RFK, Jr. bizarrely claimed that Russia was …wait for it… “acting in good faith” when they invaded their neighboring country, and any talk of war is actually America’s fault since Putin “has repeatedly said yes” to attempted peace talks.

“In fact, he negotiated — two times he agreed to agreements. He agreed to the Minsk Accords, and then he agreed in 2022 to an agreement that would’ve left Ukraine completely intact,” Kennedy said. “It was us who forced Zelensky to sabotage that agreement. It was already signed. So, you know, the Russians were acting in good faith. … So, no, I think we’re the ones who have not been acting in good faith.”

Naturally, publicly simping for a blood-thirsty, civilian-killing, warmongering dictator has some questioning RFK, Jr.’s patriotism.

But really, did we expect anything more from a guy content to be the far right’s puppet against Biden in his attempt at a second term? Larry David was right. This guy is the worst.

(Via RawStory)

It’s a busy and exciting time in the NBA right now. Over the past few days, there were major trades involving Marcus Smart, Kristaps Porziņģis, Bradley Beal, and Chris Paul. All that was leading up to yesterday’s NBA Draft, the headline of which was the unsurprising decision by the San Antonio Spurs to draft Victor Wembanyama with the No. 1 pick.

Gradey Dick also made headlines for his dazzling red outfit before getting selected at No. 13 by the Toronto Raptors (a pretty good pick, in our opinion). After donning his Raptors hat and shaking Adam Silver’s hand, Dick’s mind was on Drake.

In a post-draft press conference, Dick was asked about Drake and he said, “Gotta get out there, see Drake. I haven’t seen him a bunch, but I’m looking forward to that. [Becoming boys with Drake], that’s the goal. I need him to wear my jersey. That’s how I know [I’ve made it]. That’s my priority.”

Now, it appears their friendship is off to a good start: a video shared by the Raptors shows an excited Dick smiling shortly after getting followed on Instagram by Drake.

Drake will surely be happy to see Dick suit up for Toronto: Per our draft analysis, “This is a good value and a good fit. Dick is one of the best shooters in the class with good size for a wing and the ability to move off the ball and shoot on the move. Defensively, he probably won’t be a big plus, but Dick improved as the season went along, and Toronto’s roster could use the infusion of floor spacing.”

Yevgeny Prigozhin, leader of Vladimir Putin’s private army of mercenaries (the Wagner Group), is not known for holding back on his feelings. He has trashed Putin on numerous occasions for leaving the group twisting in the wind without adequate ammo, although nonexistent ammo might be preferable to degraded ammo that could “explode in your face.” Prigozhin has also trashed Putin for essentially turning the Wagner Group into hamburger meat in Ukraine, and Putin’s also doing the same thing to his own army, which is why he has to replenish troops by pardoning convicts.

What Putin and Prigozhin do surprisingly agree on (at least for the moment) is that Russia is performing abysmally, but Prigozhin appears to have finally had it. Via The Moscow Times, the mercenary leader lamented, “We are washing ourselves in blood. No one is bringing reserves. What they tell us is the deepest deception.” On that note, Prigozhin accused the Russian Defense Ministry and Russian leadership of “deceiving the public” by claiming that Russia defensively attacked Ukraine, which is incredible. The rant continued:

“The Armed Forces of Ukraine were not going to attack Russia with the NATO bloc,” Prigozhin explained in the half-hour tirade released by his press service.

“The mentally ill scumbags decided ‘It’s okay, we’ll throw in a few thousand more Russian men as ‘cannon fodder.’ ‘They’ll die under artillery fire, but we’ll get what we want’,” Prigozhin continued.

“That’s why it has become a protracted war … The task was to divide material assets in Ukraine. There was widespread theft in the [industrial eastern Ukrainian territory of the] Donbas, but they wanted more.”

One wonders how long Prigozhin will hang in there before declaring that the Wagner Group is out. And as Newsweek also reports, he’s growing more popular with the Russian public by the day. Some have even speculated that he might run for president, if Putin gets the boot. Well, reports have suggested that a military coup might be possible against Putin, so in all likelihood, there are more related developments to come.

(Via The Moscow Times & Newsweek)

We haven’t gotten a Coen Brothers Film in 5 years, but in the meantime we’ve gotten a heady take on MacBeth from Joel and a documentary on Jerry Lee Lewis from Ethan. It’s nice to try new things.

But if you’ve been jonesing for the real deal, Ethan has graced you with a fresh fix of quirky dialogue, misunderstandings that lead to violence, and a wacky caper involving damaged people. Drive-Away Dolls stars Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan as two friends in way over their heads just because they rented the wrong vehicle. Wackiness ensues.

Here’s the official synopsis:

“Written by Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke, this comedy caper follows Jamie, an uninhibited free spirit bemoaning yet another breakup with a girlfriend, and her demure friend Marian who desperately needs to loosen up. In search of a fresh start, the two embark on an impromptu road trip to Tallahassee, but things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals along the way.”

A little bit of classic Hitchcock. A little bit of people not speaking like any normal people have ever spoken. Yup. It’s a Coen movie. Qualley and Viswanathan look excellent here, with a ton of chemistry, and a clear understanding of the outlandish assignment. Drive-Away Dolls also stars Pedro Pascal, Annie Gonzalez, Beanie Feldstein, and Matt Damon. What are the odds Damon’s character gets shot in the head at the most surprising possible moment? We’ll see when it hits theaters on September 22nd.

Just about everyone gets those scam emails, whether it’s a Nigerian prince promising you hundreds of thousands of dollars if you just send him money first or someone asking you to click a link to claim a prize you didn’t actually win. The scams are intricate and sophisticated, often savvy enough to fool someone who has grown up with the internet. But not every email in your spam folder is from someone attempting to scam you.

At least that’s what one man discovered. Ben Taylor decided to dig a little deeper into a suspected scammer that contacted him, but instead of just doing a Google search, Taylor responded to the man. After some back and forth, Taylor learned the man, Joel, did in fact live in Liberia and was reaching out to people for help with business advice.

Now, Taylor didn’t just hand over money to a previously thought-to-be scammer. He did something even more unexpected. Taylor helped Joel make a booklet about his life and sold it online so his new friend could make his own money.

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Eventually, Taylor went to visit Joel in Liberia after the booklet earned enough money for the man to put a new roof on his home. But Joel wasn’t the only person Taylor helped.

A few years after meeting Joel and being inundated with help requests, the inquisitive helper responded to another email that had been declared a scam years ago. Once again, the “scam” turned out to not be a scam at all, and Taylor was once again on a mission to help a stranger. Watch the remarkable story below.

Cinema might be the epitome of commercial entertainment and a juggernaut of capitalism, but it is also a valuable art form. Since screening “Gone With the Wind” back in 1994, the television network Turner Classic Movies has celebrated the craftsmanship of filmmaking by airing timeless classics, foreign films and renowned art-house movies—all without a barrage of commercials, no less.

Despite being a brand associated with the past, TCM impressively appeals to both young and old audiences. This is due in part to focusing on education with guest introductions, documentaries, their Criterion Collection, and even their “Reframed” series that addressed problematic issues in certain Hollywood staples like “The Jazz Singer” and “My Fair Lady.”

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The network also creates authentic connection with fans through annual film festivals, a dedicated cruise, and even an official wine club. Heck, TCM even has a TikTok account and the clips are like tiny sips of delicious, comforting nostalgia.

@tcm “I’m not like other guys!” 🤪 #oldhollywood #pickme #filmtok ♬ original sound – Turner Classic Movies

Unlike other cable channels (and even commercially successful streaming apps) TCM has helped countless viewers not only consume their content, but truly fall into love with what the content represents—history, romance, art, culture, fantasy, and the serenity of slowing down.

With all the inspiration TCM has provided to cinephiles over the years, it’s no wonder why the news of possibly losing such a sanctuary is hitting people—real people, not just Hollywood heavyweights—so hard.

The basic gist is this: The Warner Bros. Discovery corporation, which TCM is a part of, underwent another round of job cuts, which included a departure of five major TCM executives. This decision adds to the growing list of questionable choices made by WBD David Zaslav which seem to indicate a loyalty towards the bottom line over…well, anything else, really. And while the effects of this leadership shakeup have yet to be revealed, TCM loyalists fear it signals impending doom for the network.

With the apparent burnout of superhero blockbusters and overabundance of reality TV shows, some view TCM as perhaps the last place to escape into something pure on the screen.

TCM is an oasis in a broadcast desert. Instead of cheap-to-produce home improvement shows and real housewives, it celebrates the visual story telling and the American art form, film. Please, WBD, #SaveTCM! pic.twitter.com/GqIO6T86qf

— LaurieH118 (@LaurieH118) June 22, 2023

Turner Classic Movies is a Technicolor spot in a bleak, grey world. Why would you take away one of the few wholesome sources of joy left? #SaveTCM

— Jennifer Ann Redmond (@JA_Redmond) June 22, 2023

Whenever I get tired of (gestures wildly) *everything* I like to put on TCM. It’s an escape, in a way. #SaveTCM https://t.co/hKnYYH9H4V

— Screaming into the void (@jersey8934) June 22, 2023

Others feel the potential loss of such a rich database of history.

I’m catching up on the @tcm news. Without @tcm, the world loses oral history from film in addition to the films themselves.

Many of these films would be lost to the ages without the film historians at @tcm keeping them alive both through the channel and the festival.#SaveTCM

— Andie Redwine 🟧 (@AndieRedwine) June 21, 2023

And if there’s any doubt as to the fearsome devotion folks have to their beloved network, one fan declared, “I will call out of work and picket. If there are gates to chain myself to, I will. TCM is more than a channel, it’s a community and an invaluable historic archive.” The folks aren’t messing around.

Of course, major filmmakers like Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese have also shared concern, even having a meeting with Zaslav to discuss TCM’s future. According to Deadline, both directors were “heartened and encouraged by the conversations thus far.” Perhaps people won’t have to resort to the picket lines to keep this cultural benchmark alive. Hollywood already has enough of those going around these days.

History is a valuable teacher. Simple comfort is sacred. Art is priceless. This is wisdom the human heart intuitively knows, that corporations can never comprehend. And while this news is alarming for many, the good thing to be gleaned from it all is that we haven’t fully given in to pure consumerism just yet. By and large, people will still choose that which inspires. And clearly, they are even willing to fight for it.