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Michael Malone Set A Record For Drunkest Coach In Championship Parade History

Championship parades are incredibly fun to watch because you get to see athletes and coaches let loose in a way you rarely would otherwise.

In Denver on Thursday, that meant you got to see things like Kentavious Caldwell-Pope Stone Cold beers on a bus, or Michael Malone set a new record for the drunkest coach in recent championship parade history. Now, we’ve seen some strong contenders, as Mike Budenholzer in 2021 had enjoyed more than a few and Sean McVay was torched at the Rams parade that same year, but Malone was on another planet.

Let’s take a look at the highlights of our friend Michael, as he put on a performance for the ages.

He started off strong, hopping off the buses to spray champagne into the crowd, wearing sunglasses and a hat that got steadily more askew as the day wore on and the drink count piled up.

He also called himself “Mikey Malone” while doing a hit with Denver’s TV affiliate, which is wild considering he once got mad at a sideline reporter for calling him Mike instead of Michael, before proclaiming the Nuggets are some “greedy bastards” and are going to win another one.

However, he really hit his stride once the Nuggets took the stage for the championship rally, as he very drunkenly told the crowd that “Brucey B” wasn’t going anywhere because Denver is “running this shit back.”

He then split half a small bottle of Fireball with DeAndre Jordan, and I’m gonna break out the telestrator and really break this video down.

That is textbook hammered guy focus. Watch how his entire head moves up and down as DeAndre takes his swig, absolutely lasered in on that sweet, sweet cinnamon whiskey nectar.

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He then takes his half down in one gulp, and look at the right wrist as Jordan gives him a hug, that is a man without full control of his motor skills.

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Bruce softly caressing the Larry O’Brien also really makes this moment, but Malone is truly in rare form. He’s not at Jack Grealish’s level at the parade, but a strong 7.5 on the Grealish Scale, which is simply unheard of for a coach. I hope Mikey’s got some Gatorade stocked up and ready for tomorrow.

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Jennifer Lawrence’s Used Toilet Was For Sale On Craigslist (And She Knows Who Bought It)

If you’re in the market for a used bathroom appliance, I’m sorry but you missed your chance on a toilet that belonged to an Oscar-winning actress. Try again tomorrow? Maybe Meryl Streep is selling her Squatty Potty.

Jennifer Lawrence told People that years ago, “Lee Eisenberg bought a toilet on Craigslist from my mom. My toilet.” The actress isn’t doxxing some random dude (unlike her middle school bully); Lee Eisenberg is the writing partner of Gene Stupnitsky, who directed Lawrence’s new movie, No Hard Feelings. Why was Lawrence’s mom selling her toilet? “I don’t know,” she said. “I’m like, ‘I broke it.’ My mom sold it for me.”

She adds that Eisenberg knew the identity of the seller at the time he purchased the bathroom fixture. “That’s how we know the story now,” she says. “So thanks, Mom.”

The Craigslist toilet came up because No Hard Feelings is based on a real Craigslist ad. “The director’s a good friend of mine, and we’ve been friends for a long time. And, we were getting dinner, and he showed me the Craiglist ad,” she told Good Morning America. “And I just thought it was hilarious. I, in no way, thought I was going to be in the movie… There was no movie. It was just the ad, and we laughed about it. And, four years later, he sent me the script.”

If No Hard Feelings gets a sequel, it should be about the used toilet. The title: No Hard Peelings (sorry).

(Via People)

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It’s Reportedly Unclear If The Weeknd’s HBO Series ‘The Idol’ Will Return For A Second Season After Its Controversial First

The Weeknd and Sam Levinson’s HBO show The Idol has aired a few episodes now and the reception has not exactly been glowing. It has the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score ever for an HBO show, some choice scenes have proven to be controversial, and the ratings have been a bit of a mixed bag. So, will there be a second season? According to one report, that’s not really clear at the moment.

Today (June 15), Page Six reported that a source suggested there will not be a second season, adding, “This was never meant to be a long-running show, it was always […] a limited series.” They also noted that HBO was not surprised by the reaction to the show, saying, “It’s a Sam Levinson show, and you know what you’re getting with a Sam Levinson show.”

A “source inside HBO” did reportedly say, though, “The door is definitely still open — it’s definitely not a decision [yet]. At this point, this is normal in our process. […] We’re only two episodes in.”

Meanwhile, the publication is also reporting that some found the experience of working with The Weeknd in character as Tedros to be difficult. One source said it was “not an ideal experience […] and not one I am eager to repeat,” while another source described him as “egomaniacal.” Another source, though, described him as “beloved,” saying, “He literally opened up his home for the cast and crew. Almost the entire show was shot inside his home.”

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Putin’s Largely Untrained Army Is Forcing Ukrainians To Repair Their Broken-Down Equipment Because They’re Clueless

Vladimir Putin might be starting to see the writing on the wall. He recently admitted that Russia is performing terribly in his abysmal war on Ukraine. Then again, he’s still referring to his invasion as a “special operation,” and I’m starting to wonder if that “lesser” term is a strategy to paint an inevitable loss in a less severe light. Whatever the case, we’ve heard that Putin’s army has been failing to provide ammo to the Wagner Group, and Russian soldiers are already using ammo that’s so degraded that it could blow up in soldiers’ faces when a weapon is fired. Not ideal!

Now, Business Insider is reporting that Putin’s current army (because he’s had to rush to replace so many dead or injured troops) is so untrained that they don’t know how to repair their own broken-down stuff. As a result, Ukraine reveals that Russian soldiers are forcing Ukrainian techs to do their dirty work:

The Ukrainian Defense Ministry’s National Resistance Center said in a statement that Russian forces are bringing aged military equipment back into service, but “lack mechanics who can repair damaged or outdated vehicles.”

“Therefore, the enemy is forcibly engaging specialists,” it said. The allegation, which Insider was unable to independently corroborate, comes as both militaries in the conflict face a squeeze on equipment and ammunition.

As well, CNN recently compiled a gathering of Russian accounts that describe advances by Ukraine’s counter-offensive amid heavy fighting. Ukraine has also vowed to whoop ass and “fight Putin’s forces bare-handed” if it comes down to it, so Putin had better get his ultimate bunker ready.

(Via Business Insider, CNN & The Independent)

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Nikola Jokic, Who Didn’t Want To Go To The Nuggets Parade, Calls It ‘The Best Day Of My F*cking Life’

Nikola Jokic made one thing clear after the Denver Nuggets won the first championship in franchise history earlier this week: He really did not want to stay for the team’s championship parade on Thursday. Jokic expressed on multiple occasions that his strong preference was to simply go home, and when he was informed that the parade would not happen until Thursday, he briefly turned into the most upset person in the history of the world despite winning a championship, like, an hour earlier.

But getting to celebrate a championship around teammates, coaches, and staffers of various levels of drunkenness changes things a bit. Jokic stepped up to the microphone and addressed the fact that he didn’t want to be there, and told the crowd that he’s changed his mind.

“You know that I told that I didn’t want to stay on parade, but I f*cking want to stay on parade, this is the best day of my f*cking life,” Jokic said. “This is amazing, you’re all gonna remember this our whole life, and to see you guys that came out on the street — actually, this one is for you. We love you, Denver, this one is for you.”

It is unclear if Jokic will be able to make it back to Serbia in time to watch his horses on Sunday, but if he can’t he seems like he gets that this parade is worth it.

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Trump’s Campaign Is Reportedly ‘Relieved’ That He Got Indicted Because His Donations Needed A ‘Boost’

The general consensus is that Donald Trump is in a world of legal trouble after being indicted on federal charges, with some going so far to say that the former president is “scared sh*tless.” However, Trump’s campaign is reportedly having a very different reaction to the indictment. That reaction: Cha-ching!

According to CNN’s Kristen Holmes, Trump campaign insiders were growing concerned as donations began to lag. However, just like with Trump’s indictment in Manhattan, the new charges brought a much-needed boost. Sure, there’s a possibility Trump could die in prison, but look at all that sweet cash.

Via Raw Story:

“When I was talking to someone about this potential federal indictment, I actually had someone say to me on the campaign, ‘Well, I hope it comes before the fourth quarter meaning that they were hoping that they could get that fund-raising boost again if there was a federal indictment, and now we see they actually have.”

“I’m told they were a little bit concerned about it, that there had been a lag in those fund-raising numbers and they weren’t sure if there is going to be some kind of fatigue,” she continued. “He’s already been indicted; the shock, the surprise, is it gone, is the outrage gone? Clearly it’s not.”

With Trump facing even more indictments down the road, including his involvement in the January 6 attacks as well as more federal charges for mishandling documents at his New Jersey golf club, the former president could have quite the racket here.

“Whether or not this is a sustainable model to have lagging fundraising in the middle and then have an indictment, which his team does believe there are more indictments are coming, obviously has yet to be seen like most things with Donald Trump,” Holmes said.

(Via Raw Story)

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Doja Cat’s Latest Transformation Is For Her — And That’s A Good Thing

Doja Cat is back. The mercurial artist announced the release date for her return single “Attention” earlier this week after what appeared to be a mix-up with the pre-save link. This came after several months in which the mischievous rapper/singer appeared to waver on her upcoming fourth album’s title, genre, and even seemingly whether she wanted to even continue making music. She went through a half-dozen extreme makeovers — some temporary, others more permanent — and trolled her fans.

And yet, all those changes are actually true to Doja Cat’s character. She has always cycled through aesthetics, personalities, and sounds throughout her career; that she continues to do so just proves that she remains true to herself, despite fans’ concerns that she “switched up.” For Doja, switching up is core to the persona that she’s cultivated from the very beginning. With a new album on the way, no one knows what to expect — not even, it seems, Doja herself — but considering how things have been going so far, that’s probably a very good thing anyway.

From the beginning, Doja Cat has demonstrated a chameleonlike ability to transform to suit either the needs of the song she’s making or her own, often esoteric whims. Take her breakout song, “Mooo!” for instance. Doja had already been signed and releasing music for some years before the jokey track skyrocketed her to national notoriety. But “Mooo!” was obviously a huge departure from the spacey, bohemian vibe of “So High,” released three years before, or the lighthearted, poppy sensibility of the cunnilingus anthem “Go To Town” from the year before.

Instead, “Mooo!” was Doja at her goofiest; in the homemade video, she morphed into an anime cowgirl, showing that she didn’t take herself too seriously and wasn’t exactly married to either image of herself as an incense-burning hippie or a latex-clad pop vixen. And when the backlash against “Mooo!” from hip-hop traditionalists grew from a dull roar to a loud insistence that the accomplished but relatively unknown performer didn’t have anything else to offer, she transformed again.

On Doja’s next album Hot Pink, she embraced a truly bewildering variety of both genres and looks, while also insisting that she was taking music more seriously. That promise paid off with the embrace of a pop-punk aesthetic in the video for “Bottom Bitch” and couture looks in the one for “Rules.” Meanwhile, Doja’s musical experimentation broadened, from the glitchy techno of “Addiction” to the rhythm-n-bass of “Like That” featuring Gucci Mane to the nu-disco of “Say So,” Doja’s first-ever No. 1 hit single.

With the onset of the pandemic and the shutdown of live entertainment, Doja showcased her gift for metamorphosis with a string of live performances of her smash, reimagining “Say So” as a heavy metal rocker and an orchestral ballad. She attributes this to her boredom with performing the same song over and over again in mostly empty rooms, but where many stars would get by with adding a live band and reshuffling some choreography, Doja let her imagination run wild.

Since then, we’ve seen a lot more examples of Doja Cat’s penchant for reinvention throughout the rollout and tour for her third album Planet Her, and in the run-up to her next album. At first, she proclaimed it would be a double album, with one half entirely produced by 9th Wonder. Then, it was just one album, leaning more heavily into the hip-hop proclivities she gleaned from coming up in LA’s Project Blowed-inspired underground rap scene.

Of course, then Doja says her ADHD kicked in, prompting her to envision the album as a collection of R&B songs, then as punk. In the meantime, she underwent dramatic physical changes as well, shaving her head and eyebrows and railing against industry standards that demand women look “f*ckable” at all times. She adorned herself with a litany of tattoos, from 15th-century grotesqueries to anatomical diagrams. With her new aesthetics, she seems very much to be challenging the expectation of polished perfection that accompanied her prior pop-oriented efforts.

She changed the speculative title of her album from Hellmouth to Scarlet (at least, that’s what fans believe it’ll be called after some cryptic social media posts from Doja), implying a rebellion against traditional femininity either way. The term “Hellmouth” comes from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer franchise, which satirized horror conventions positioning women as frail victims or traumatized final girls with its high-indestructible, valley girl vampire killing machine.

And “scarlet woman” is a term that has long been bandied by the patriarchy to slander women who enjoy their sexual freedoms. It also evokes blood, like the cover art for “Attention” — a fluid whose association with women has always been one known to make men feel a little squeamish. Those wimps. So, it looks like Doja Cat is once again aiming to mutate into a new form, the consummate shapeshifter. This time, though, her new guise, whatever it is, will be for her and not for us. Even so, everybody wins.

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Iceland Airwaves Reveals The Rest Of Its 2023 Lineup, Including Anjimile, Daði Freyr, Hatari, And Many More

In February, Iceland Airwaves revealed a lot of its 2023 lineup: Blondshell, Balming Tiger, Cassia, ClubDub, Daniil, Fetish, Fran Vasilić, Gallus, Kneecap, Kristin Sesselja, Lime Garden, LÓN, Love’n’Joy, Myrkvi, Nanna, Neonme, Squid, The Goa Express, The Haunted Youth, Trentemøller, Whispering Sons, and Yard Act.

More acts have been announced today (June 15). This includes Anjimile, Daði Freyr, Hatari, Elín Hall, GKR, Axel Flóvent, JFDR, Caleb Kunle, Dustin O’Halloran, Mick Strauss, and slowshift.

Last month, Anjimile announced his new album The King arriving in September on 4AD. He shared the title track at the time, too.

The second wave of artists were also announced recently, including Andy Shauf, Anna Gréta, Árný Margrét, Ásdís, Ash Olsen, Bombay Bicycle Club, Celebs, Cyber, DOMi and JD Beck, Donkey Kid, Eydís Evensen, Faux Real, Ghostly Kisses, Greyskies, GRÓA, Jelena Ciric, JJ Paulo, Jonathan Hultén, Kári Egilsson, Kónguló, Kusk & Óviti, Kvikindi, Madmadmad, Markéta Irglová, Monikaze, Mugison, Sandrayati, Sigrún Stella, SKAAR, Soffía, Sprints, Superjava, Superserious, and Tilbury.

The festival will take place from November 2 to 4 in Reyjavík. The venues include Reykjavík Art Museum, Gamla Bíó, Iðnó, Fríkirkjan Church, Gaukurinn and Húrra.

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Kendrick Perkins Torched Karl-Anthony Towns For Saying He ‘Changed The Game’

On a recent podcast appearance with Patrick Beverley, Minnesota Timberwolves big man Karl-Anthony Towns said people will consider him as someone who “changed the game” once he retires. Towns adds onto that lofty declaration by saying kids rising through the ranks will be able to play a different way because of how he thrived in the NBA. That quote went viral, as many folks interacted with Towns’ quote, including Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green.

The backlash didn’t end there, when ESPN’s Kendrick Perkins’ addressed Towns’ comments during Thursday’s episode of First Take.

“How can you change the game when at times we don’t even know you exist?” Perkins said. “I feel like with Karl-Anthony Towns, just stop with the interviews at this point, bruh. And who are the people that are gonna say you actually changed the game? You haven’t done it yet.”

As harsh as Perkins’ words may come across, his critiques seem quite measured and reasonable. Towns is a tremendous player and talent. He’s garnered three All-Star honors and two All-NBA nods since entering the league in 2015-16. Yet he also touts a history of going quiet offensively for too long in games and committing undisciplined fouls, and has been inconsistent during his three first-round playoff appearances.

He’s one of the greatest outside shooting big man ever, but needs to avoid those dormant stretches and clean up his decision-making before he enters the utmost echelon of bigs around the league, headlined by champions and two-time MVPs, Nikola Jokic and Giannis Antetokounmpo. If he ever reaches that level, his hopes of changing the game will certainly be much more attainable.

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‘Rick And Morty’ Is In The Process Of Recasting All Of Justin Roiland’s Characters

Earlier this year, Adult Swim parted ways with Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland after he was charged with felony domestic abuse. “Adult Swim has ended its association with Justin Roiland. Rick and Morty will continue. The talented and dedicated crew are hard at work on season 7,” a tweet posted to the show’s account read. The charges were later dropped due to “insufficient evidence,” but Roiland is not coming back (he was reportedly barely involved with the show, anyway).

In a translated interview with the French publication Première, Adult Swim channel president Michael Ouweleen discussed how Rick and Morty will move forward without Roiland.

“He will be replaced in dubbing,” Ouweleen said. When asked if that means imitators, he replied, “No, not imitators… In any case, the idea is that we feel that they are the same characters. Listen: voices are obviously super important in an animated series. And, of course, none of us wanted to go through what we went through. But I’ve been in animation for a long time, and I know that what makes a series is its different parts coming together. If the voices are obviously a big part, there is also the writing of the characters, their design… I have reason to believe that the transition will go well.”

A Rick and Morty executive producer said that they’re “still in the recruitment process” of finding a replacement — or replacements, as Roiland voices both Rick and Morty, and many other characters, adding, “It’s a rather unique situation… I’ll take an example: there have been several great Bugs Bunny voice actors, and I love what Jeff Bennett has done with them. But it’s not Mel Blanc! And yet we recognize the character. I even think that for Rick and Morty we will do even better… It will be fine. It’ll be great.”

Rick and Morty season 7 premieres later this year.

(Via Première)