High schools are a perfect breeding ground for weirdness. First of all, you have a bunch of teenagers who are starting to deal with adult problems but they don’t have the experience or the brain development to figure out how to navigate complex feelings and relationships.
Then you add sex, drugs, learner’s permits, the stress of trying to get into college and really bad facial hair to the situation and you have all the ingredients for people and situations to go completely sideways.
Then there are the teachers. High school teachers tend to be a bit more eccentric than those in the younger grades because they are hired as specialists in a given field, such as history, math or science. Whereas teachers in younger grades have to be nurturing and have a more holistic approach to child development.
Also, hindsight makes a lot of things that seemed normal at the time begin to seem a bit strange. As we get older and have a firm grasp on the realities of being an adult, there are some things that we can’t believe we lived through as teenagers in high school.
When I was in high school we had a drama teacher that sat in the gym and chain-smoked while we rehearsed the play and we didn’t think anything of it. I’m pretty sure my home economics teacher hit the cooking sherry during lunchtime, and we got a day off from school due to the L.A. riots in 1992.
Everyone dealt with some amount of weirdness while they were in high school, so Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share their stories with #MyHighSchoolWasWeird and he read some of his favorites on his show.
We took a look at the hashtag and picked some of the responses we liked the most. Here are 19 of them. Why was your high school weird? Tell us in the comments on Facebook.
Itu2019su00a0Hashtagsu00a0time! Tell us something weird or funny about your high school, and tag it with #MyHighSchoolWasWeird. Could be on the show!
We had a kid nicknamed Johnny Appleseed ( JohnA for short) who placed marijuana seeds in any available place they could grow. Our school had pot plants popping up so often they had to get rid of all the potted plants in classrooms and offices . #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
#MyHighSchoolWasWeirdnOne teacheru2019s bathroom pass was an actual toilet seat that you had to carry with you to the restroom. pic.twitter.com/tesVLEpKe9
This is the mascot at the high school i went to. nPart anthropomorphic sugar beet part food processing machinery. nn#MyHighSchoolWasWeirdpic.twitter.com/2R42p5zCYu
#MyHighSchoolWasWeird because Grimace won every student vote by a landslide. If you werenu2019t writing in Grimace on your ballots you were a narc. Youu2019d think Mayor McCheese would make more sense, being an actual politician, but I guess enough kids couldnu2019t spell it or something.pic.twitter.com/N6CrLw4v7r
One time a swim meet was canceled at my friend’s high school because the pool “caught on fire.” Still have no idea how that’s possible. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
My high school had the mayonnaise bandit who would put mayo on the under side of the stair railings from the cafeteria making them useless or risk getting a handful of slimy mayonnaise on your way to class #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
My Junior year of high school there was a competition for one of the teachers to kiss a cow. Of course the most disliked teacher ended up kissing the cow. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
There was this kid that would run around during highschool and hiss at people. He was really smart but he would just randomly hiss lol #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
Got a new principal in my senior year who decided to enforce the dress code with bright orange “Dress Code Violator” t-shirts. They became badges of honor instead of the intended punishment… 🤦♀️ #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
Our cafeteria’s chicken fries were such a rare and glorious experience, once people GRADUATED, they would still come back to buy them. #myhighschoolwasweird
#MyHighSchoolWasWeird because we had a bring your tractor to school day, those who brought one in got to skip all classes and just talk with others about their tractors. It always causes traffic delays because there was one main road into the school.
If you look back at how you acted, dressed and behaved in high school and have a little bit of shame, that’s probably a good thing. If you cringe a little when you think about your former self, that shows that you’ve grown as a person.
But wouldn’t it be great if you could go back to high school knowing what you know now? How much easier would it be to approach that special person you wanted to ask to the dance but couldn’t muster up the courage? How much more would you appreciate those carefree days when all you had to worry about was a bio test or who had a crush on whom in homeroom?
Personally, if I went back to high school I’d have a lot more appreciation for my teachers knowing just how hard of a job they have. Now that I’m an adult I have a lot more sympathy for what we put them through and I can totally understand why teaching at a high school can turn someone a little weird.
Here’s Jimmy Fallon reading off some of his responses to #MyHighSchoolWasWeird.
Kayla Berridge had been walking her normal 9-mile delivery route in Newmarket, a small town in New Hampshire, when she noticed something unusual.
The mail she had been delivering continued to pile up over a matter of days at one resident’s home. The resident was an elderly woman in her 80s, and would occasionally share a chat with Berridge, according to CNN.
Berridge told CNN that after noticing the unattended mail pile, she got “a little concerned.”
“I just had this gut feeling and wanted to make sure,” Berridge told WMUR 9 News, explaining that “most people put a hold in if they’re not there, so when people pick up their mail every day, you start to notice their habits.” Not to mention, the woman’s car was still in the driveway.
Berridge followed her instincts and called the local police department for a wellness check, and in the process saved the elderly woman’s life.
CNN reported that officers found the woman trapped on her bedroom floor under heavy artwork and frames. The theory is she tried to use her bed for support, and in the process these items on the bed fell onto her, pinning her down for three full days. Though she was suffering from hypothermia and dehydration, Police Lt. Wayne Stevens confirmed she was stable and recovering.
I can only imagine the agony and fear this poor woman was in, lying in the cold and not knowing if help would come. Luckily, help was on the way, and this story has a happy ending.
In this instance, the familiarity that comes from living in a small town really paid off. “Everyone has each other’s backs,” Berridge told CNN.
But Officer Stevens wanted to give credit where credit was due. He agreed that Berridge’s quick thinking was “part of being a letter carrier in a small town,” he added that her actions were “taking your job to the next level.”
While wellness or welfare checks have historically been associated with the elderly, they are seen as an equally “critical tool” for the safety of many young people as well, especially with the “rise of suicide rates among adolescents and young adults.”
An example of this is when “Saturday Night Live” star Pete Davidson received a wellness check back in 2018. The comedian posted an alarming message to Instagram, saying “I really don’t want to be on this Earth anymore. I actually don’t know how much longer I can last.” This was after breaking off his engagement with Ariana Grande.
Though it certainly didn’t happen in a small town, the interconnectedness of social media helped raise some red flags and prompted authorities to make a visit.
If there’s anything to make you question someone’s well-being, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Many great comedians have sat at the helm of the “Weekend Update” desk on “Saturday Night Live” over the show’s 48 seasons. Chevy Chase was known for his cool deadpan. Dennis Miller was the hip intellectual. Norm Macdonald will go down in history for his endless OJ jokes that eventually got him removed from the desk. Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon were a great double act that was a fun mix of high-brow and low-brow humor.
The current anchors, Michael Che and Colin Jost, will probably best be known for making fun of each other. Over the years, one of the duo’s signature bits has been writing jokes for each other and reading them live for the first time. It seems like every time they do that bit, Che finds a new way to embarrass Jost.
On Saturday, April 1, Che was at it again, this time with a brutal April Fool’s prank where he secretly asked the audience not to laugh at any of Jost’s jokes.
Che and Jost opened their segment with jokes about the indictment of former president Donald Trump, but the audience laughed much harder at Che than at Jost. A few minutes into the bit, Jost made a joke at his own expense and it received only a smattering of laughter.
“At this point, it feels like even pro-Trump people have moved on,” Jost said, referring to the trial before a superimposed image of him wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat and a sign that read, “LET OUR BOY GO!” appeared on the screen.
The gag was met with an audience member screaming, “You stink!” The heckle was the last straw for Jost, who hung his head in his hand in shame. At that point, Che gave up the gag.
“I told them not to laugh at you for April Fools,'” Che told Jost, and the two couldn’t keep it together. “That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me. I’m covered in sweat,” Jost told Che through fits of laughter.
“I was truly like, ‘Am I not mic’d?’ And then I was like, ‘Oh, I just suck,” Jost joked.
The crowd broke out in applause for Jost, but he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of acknowledging them after they refused to laugh at his jokes. “No, no! Don’t even dare! Don’t you even dare try now.”
When it was Jost’s turn to tell his next joke, a bit about Florida Ron DeSantis, Che said, “They’ll probably laugh at this next one.” And the audience did.
The episode was hosted by Abbot Elementary’s Quinta Brunson, who shined in “Traffic Altercation,” a sketch where she and Mikey Day played motorists screaming at each other in traffic. The crux of the bit was that they couldn’t hear what each other was saying, so they had to argue using hand signals.
Our dear friend Caroline Polachek is unfortunately not in good enough health to join us at our Dublin show today. We wish her all the love in the world and a speedy recovery and we look forward to seeing you all this evening. pic.twitter.com/cJoGd2SLZb
But The 1975 didn’t leave Ireland before sharing the stage with Polachek, who joined the band during their outdoor show at Musgrave Park in Cork on Tuesday, June 13. Of course, they played “Oh Caroline” from The 1975’s October 2022 album, Being Funny In A Foreign Language.
Polachek posted an Instagram video of the performance, and fan videos were also circulating on Twitter.
On June 13, The 1975 announced another North American tour leg in support of Being Funny In A Foreign Language. Their Still At Their Very Best Tour is scheduled to begin on September 26 at Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, California. It will include 30 more dates before concluding on December 2 at Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle, Washington. Notably, the band will play New York City’s famed Madison Square Garden on November 14.
The Still At Their Very Best pre-sale is slated for Wednesday, June 21, beginning at 10 a.m. local time. The general public sale will take place on Friday, June 23, at 10 a.m. local time.
Check out all of the dates below, and find all ticketing information here.
James Cameron takes his sweet time making movies, but it did appear that he was getting his stuff together when it came to the many Avatar sequels he almost didn’t make. Or so it seemed. Suffice to say if you were hoping to be done with the series by the end of this decade, think again. On Tuesday, Disney revealed that they were reshuffling some of its release calendar. The most prominent changes were its three Avatar sequels, the last of which has been delayed a whopping three years. And one of its stars can’t believe how old she’ll be when it finally comes out.
As per Entertainment Weekly, Zoe Saldana — who has played Na’vi princess Neytiri since the first, which came out all the way back in 2009 — took to her Twitter Stories with some weary sarcasm after learning the fifth Avatar won’t come out until 2031.
“Great,” Saldaña wrote. “I’m gonna be 53 when the last Avatar comes out. I was 27 when I shot the very first Avatar.”
The Avatar delays are broken down thusly, courtesy of EW:
While Avatar 3 was only pushed back by a single year, moving from Dec. 20, 2024 to Dec. 19, 2025, the final two installments in the franchise were delayed by a few years. Avatar 4 went from Dec. 18, 2026 to Dec. 21, 2029, while Avatar 5 moved from Dec. 22, 2028 to Dec. 19, 2031.
Cameron began working on Avatar in 1994, when he penned an 80-page treatment. He didn’t start in earnest until 2005, when technology was beginning to make the project more of a reality. Should the fifth outing really emerge in 2031 — and, given Cameron’s history, that’s a big, big if — and if he doesn’t decide to make even more than the currently planned quintet, then he would have been actively working on the series for 26 years. If you include the initial treatment, that’s 37 years.
For now, though, fans can expect to return to Pandora in two-and-a-half years…unless Cameron pushes it back further…which he very well could.
Karl-Anthony Towns has had a very solid career for a former No. 1 overall pick, winning Rookie of the Year, making three All-Star teams, a pair of All-NBA third teams in his eight seasons in the league thus far.
However, Towns has never been able to get the Timberwolves beyond the first round of the playoffs — where he’s made three appearances — and as the center position sees a renaissance of sorts with Nikola Jokic and Joel Embiid winning the last three MVP awards, Towns has faded to the periphery when it comes to discussions about the league’s very best big men. Well, at least that’s the case for most people.
On Wednesday, Patrick Beverley had Towns on his podcast and called him the best center in the league, which is a wild take on its own after Jokic just dominated the playoffs en route to a title, beating Towns along the way — and, secondarily, Towns now plays power forward next to Rudy Gobert, which is a whole other conversation. Later, Towns decided to puff his chest out a bit and proclaimed that when he’s done playing, people will say he “changed the game.”
“When my time is up and I retire… there’s gonna be people who are gonna say that I changed the game.” – Karl-Anthony Towns
Where would you rank KAT right now amongst the best players in the NBA?
That quote gained some traction on Twitter, raising plenty of eyebrows, as Towns certainly has a unique skillset as a big man who is incredibly efficient at shooting three-pointers, but few would consider him a game-changer in the way of, say, even a Jokic. Among those to be taken aback by Towns’ comment was Draymond Green, who posited that Towns just meant going on Patrick Beverley’s podcast was changing the game.
Draymond hasn’t shied away from calling Towns out in the past, whether that be when Towns said Russell Westbrook chases stats or when Green said Towns needed to stop trying to trash talk and “just be yourself.” Towns, for all his many talents, has not made such an impact on the league in his eight years that you’d hear many speak of him as someone with a legacy that figures to extend for generations. There’s still time for him to do that, but there needs to be another considerable leap before that happens. Until then, Big Purr will end up on the wrongside of punchlines from Green and others.
Wiz Khalifa is busy preparing for his High School Reunion Tour with Snoop Dogg, but not too busy to share his surprise mixtape, See Ya. The mixtape arrived today featuring 25 new songs with guest appearances from Chevy Woods, Lil Vada, and Young Deji. Wiz had been teasing a project for a while, dropping songs such as “Peace And Love,” “Why Not Not Why,” “What Would I Do,” and “Close Frame,” all of which are included on See Ya.
While See Ya constitutes Wiz’s first brand-new release of the year, in February, he reissued his 2008 mixtape Star Power for DSPs following three releases in 2022: Stoner’s Night with Juicy J, Full Court Press with Girl Talk, Big KRIT, and Smoke DZA, and Multiverse, as well as a deluxe edition of the latter.
See Ya is out now via Taylor Gang Ent. You can check out the video for “Close Frame” above and the High School Reunion Tour dates below.
7/7 –- Vancouver, B.C. @ Rogers Arena
7/8 -– Ridgefield, Wash. @ RV Inn Style Resorts Amphitheater
7/9 –- Auburn, Wash. @ White River Amphitheatre
7/11 -– Salt Lake City @ USANA Amphitheatre
7/12 -– Denver @ Ball Arena
7/15 -– Rogers, Ark. @ Walmart AMP
7/16 -– St. Louis – Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre @ St. Louis
7/18 -– Burgettstown, Pa. @ The Pavilion at Star Lake
7/20 -– Noblesville, Ind. @ Ruoff Music Center
7/21 –- Tinley Park, Ill. @ Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre – Chicago
7/23 -– Clarkston @ Pine Knob Music Theatre
7/26 –- Toronto @ Budweiser Stage
7/28 –- Mansfield, Mass. @ Xfinity Center
7/29 -– Hartford, Conn. @ XFINITY Theatre
7/30 -– Camden, N.J. @ Freedom Mortgage Pavilion
8/1 -– Bristow, Va. @ Jiffy Lube Live
8/2 -– Holmdel, N.J. @ PNC Bank Arts Center
8/4 -– Brooklyn, N.Y. @ Barclays Center
8/5 -– Virginia Beach, Va. @ Veterans United Home Loans Amphitheater at Virginia Beach
8/6 -– Raleigh, N.C. @ Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek
8/8 -– Charlotte @ PNC Music Pavilion
8/9 –- Atlanta @ Lakewood Amphitheatre
8/11 –- West Palm Beach, Fla. @ iTHINK Financial Amphitheatre
8/12 -– Tampa @ MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre
8/15 –- New Orleans @ Smoothie King Center
8/18 -– Austin @ Germania Insurance Amphitheater
8/19 -– Houston @ The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
8/20 -– Dallas – Dos Equis Pavilion
8/22 –- Albuquerque, N.M. @ Isleta Amphitheater
8/23 -– Phoenix @ Talking Stick Resort Amphitheatre
8/25 -– Sacramento, Calif.@– Golden 1 Center
8/26 -– Concord, Calif. @ Concord Pavilion
8/27 –- Irvine, Calif. @ FivePoint Amphitheatre
When you look through the list of “Hotels we Love,” there are certain aspects that surface in every piece — the scenery, the scene, the food and beverage program, the “bed game”… standard hotel stuff. But the goal is always to highlight places with an x-factor. Spots that subvert expectations and surprise us a little by bringing something fresh to the table.
The Ranch at Laguna Beach is just that sort of place. Mostly because it’s nothing like what you likely expect from a Laguna Beach hotel (eg. all beach everything), while still doing the beachy thing pretty wonderfully.
Much of what’s so cool about the hotel has to do with its setting, which I’ll elaborate on below and is sure to be the star of your stay. But coming in a close second are the guest offerings — which are innovative yet intuitive. Or, to put it another way, creative without trying too hard. Check out why this stunning hideaway deserves your attention the next time you head to Laguna Beach, CA, below.
WHY IT’S AWESOME
Uproxx
A big part of the magic of Laguna Beach is that it’s relatively inaccessible, especially considering it’s a coastal town in the 5th most populous county in the United States. This is due to the fact that there’s no direct freeway access. Newport Beach to the north and Dana Point to the south both have major arteries that dump out within a mile of the sand. In Laguna, you have to either drive along PCH from one of those aforementioned neighbors or travel 15 minutes down the CA-133 and another five minutes down Laguna Canyon Road.
Driving into town via the 133 offers a stunning view of the rugged canyons that have buffered Laguna, relatively speaking, from the outside world. Right now, after an incredibly wet spring, the vegetation is Hawaii-level lush — making the name of the conservation project that protects this land, “the Laguna Green Belt,” feel very fitting. The Ranch at Laguna Beach sits nestled at the south end of this green belt, nestled in these exact same sorts of creek-carved canyons. Having lived for quite some time in town and taken plenty of visitors to the property, the first thing you hear is “I had no idea Laguna Beach could look like this.”
Which… I get it. Even for me, a verified local, the hotel grounds feel like a portal to another time and place. Giant sandstone boulders pepper the hillsides, surrounded by bougainvillea and California poppies. A creek slips gently toward the sea. Deer and birdlife are abundant. It is the most un “SoCal” scenery in Orange County and, as such, a truly welcome surprise.
The Ranch
As you can see above, The Ranch is home to a golf course that winds through the canyon. To be perfectly honest, I’ve spent my career being very resistant to golf and have declined to play at famous courses all over the world. But this course drew me in with three factors: 1) the fact that it’s GEO Certified, meaning that it’s had an outside party score its water usage and other environmental impact elements for sustainability, 2) it fits naturally into Aliso and Wood canyons, which is more like the golf courses I observed in Scotland and less like the “pave paradise to put in 18 holes” approach that I’ve often witnessed on my travels, 3) it’s only nine holes made up of all par 3s and 4s, meaning that being terrible is a lot less miserable than playing 18 holes full of par fives, where a bad player might need ten strokes and leave people waiting.
The result is golf that is fun for everyone — not a selling point that many courses I’ve ever visited lay claim to. I hadn’t touched a club in 25 years and managed to get par on one hole, which is saying something.
There there are The Ranch’s new “cultural offerings” — which they just rolled out this spring and I had the chance to experience firsthand. The first is the opportunity to create a plein-air painting with John Cosby, one of the icons of Laguna’s plein-air painting community. The term mostly just refers to painting outside — which doesn’t really seem like it needs a term — but the result is a genre of landscape paintings that conjure those unforgettable beach days while still being figurative enough to inspire the imaginative viewer. Cosby’s work has been incredibly well-regarded in the local scene for decades, so the chance to have him as an instructor is truly a next-level get for the right sort of guest. It’s also sort of puts the “hey, I could paint that!” knee-jerk reaction people have when they see figurative artwork to the ultimate test.
But for me, even painting with someone as esteemed as Cosby can’t compete with the second new offering: shaping a surfboard from scratch (or “from foam,” to be more accurate) with Gary Larson of Hobie, who trained under shaping legend Terry Martin and shapes the majority of Hobie’s boards. After my most recent visit to The Ranch, I met up with Larson at his nearby shaping bay (built into Hobie’s Dana Point location). We spoke for a long time about what sort of surfer I am, what sort of board I’m looking for, what I want out of a ride, etc.
Then, gradually, Larson started offering ideas for how we could create my perfect board. He set a blank on his shaping table and laid out a few different templates. Before long, he flipped on the planer and began dancing forward and back along the length of the board, shaving away foam to get a general shape to work from. He even let me have a go at it. I was terrible, naturally, but just the idea of actually working on my own surfboard was truly a life goal unlocked.
For my personal board, I actually visited Larson’s shaping bay a half dozen more times and then worked with the glasser directly to plan how it would look. But for the typical hotel guest, Larson will take over the shaping after that first meeting. In a month or so after their stay, they’ll have a brand new, custom-made, hand-shaped surfboard out of it. It’s an amazing opportunity and a true chance to understand the sport in a new way (I know superb surfers, way better than me, who have only ever bought boards off the rack).
The fact that The Ranch is offering it to guests and integrating it within their hotel stay is pretty brilliant. It’s not cheap — $2500, to be exact — but for the right surfer, it’s most certainly worth it (for me it definitely was). Because it’s not just a board, it’s a piece of art. Best of all, it’s one you get to ride.
IN HOUSE FOOD + DRINK
The Ranch
Every cinnamon roll on earth is judged against Cinnabon. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. And the fact of the matter is that 99% of all cinnamon rolls I’ve ever eaten have left me saying: “I wish I’d just gone to a mall or airport and gotten a Cinnabon.”
But the cinnamon roll at The Ranch’s in-house restaurant, Harvest, is the exception. I’m sure that will annoy the team at the restaurant because everyone talks about the cinnamon roll when they actually boast an incredible farm-to-table* dining program that composts waste and grows food on-site. But still… that cinnamon roll is lit. It’s layered — soft on the inside, crunchy around the rim — and the flavors balance sweet and salty in a wonderfully gaudy, maximalist-type way. Unlike most sweet breakfasts, which are just disappointing enough to leave you feeling regretful that you scarfed down so many calories at 10 am, this treat leaves you very happy with your life choices.
With that out of the way, there’s actually a lot to love among chef Kyle St. John’s dishes. A few highlights for dinner:
Duck Wings: Ever since Pok Pok, chefs have played with their own versions of fried wings, caramelized in a pan with sticky, Asian-inspired sauce. Often, the result is out of balance with many a wing ending up overly sweet. But Harvet’s wings, which you can get at the restaurant and on the patio, are savory and have a perfect degree of warming spice. At a recent meetup on the patio to see live music, my table of eight ordered three rounds of wings, at three different times throughout the night.
Braised Short Rib: Short rib is often rich and this one is rich AF. But that’s not to its detriment. In fact, it’s a perfect representative of the farm-to-table comfort food that Harvest is known for. The whipped potatoes that come with the dish are a must anyway, so consider this your way to ensure you get to try them. That said, I would make your starters ultra-light if you plan on ordering this. It’s not so heavy to leave you feeling like going to bed is your only logical next option but veers dangerously and deliciously close.
Sweet Corn Agnolotti. Corn or squash agnolotti or ravioli have become seasonal standards among SoCal Italian-leaning restaurants. I’m good with that proliferation on the dish — it’s one of my favorites. What I’m not good with is how overly sweet this dish often ends up being. It’s supposed to be sweet, not a dessert. Harvest’s version is sweet, to be sure, but doesn’t cross the line. The basil oil helps keep it tasting garden fresh and balances things out. A wonderful starter.
I’d also wholeheartedly recommend the salmon, oysters, and scallops. Across multiple visits, I’ve tried most of the menu — the only item I really didn’t care for is the Forbidden Fried Rice, which was busy and bursting with ingredients in a way that didn’t do it any favors. The berry butter cake is my favorite dessert but the whole dessert menu is great. With that said, you might want to save your sugar for another cinnamon roll the next morning.
A fair bit of Harvest’s menu is available at The Porch, outside, where musicians play nightly and golfers unwind after finishing their rounds. The flatbreads are surprisingly good, as is the hummus, but it’s hard to deny the aforementioned wings. This is the closest the property has to a true hangout spot. The bar inside is beautiful and has a great staff but since a fair number of people eat at the bar, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a spot to linger.
The real move, if you’re looking to hang for a while, is to start at The Porch, move to Harvest for dinner, then slide over to the couches in front of the roaring fire for a nightcap.
The Ranch
*I haven’t had a chance to talk a lot about the farm at The Ranch, but truly it is so cool. I saw them using compost that came from bar waste to fertilize veggies that would later go to the restaurant — one of the most “closed circuit” foodways I’ve seen in recent memory. The Ranch allows you to stroll down and take a farm tour, so one great play is to do exactly that, find out what was sent over to the restaurant, and then impress your group at the table by sharing that insight and letting it shape your meal.
AMENITIES
THE RANCH AT LAGUNA BEACH
Beach access
15,000 acres of local trails
Farm-to-table on-site restaurant
Beach cafe
Free summer trolley to Laguna Beach
9-hole golf course
On-site spa & fitness center
Sauna
Daily free live music
Outdoor pool & hot tub
Plus the cultural experiences I shouted out before. It’s a great lineup and also not so over the top that you’d want to stay on the property for the whole weekend. That’s a good thing — the town is right at your fingertips and you should explore it!
ROOM TYPES
The Ranch
The Ranch at Laguna Beach offers 97 rooms and covers 87 acres, but it doesn’t have an excess of room breakdowns like so many properties these days:
Canyon Room – King bed with an outdoor furnished patio.
Creekside Studio Suite – King bed + full-size sofa bed, outdoor furnished patio or balcony, creek + canyon views.
Creekside One Bedroom Suite – King bed + full-size foldout couch + separate living space, outdoor furnished patio or balcony.
Cottage Two Bedroom Suite – Two-level, upstairs bedrooms (king and queen), downstairs patio, upstairs balcony.
The Treehouse – Two bedrooms, three bathrooms, wraparound deck, full gourmet kitchen, living and dining space, floor-to-ceiling windows, Treehouse Gazebo, dedicated butler.
The selection of rooms and suites highlights the property’s signature bedding and Italian linens paired with Tuvalu-designed coastal ranch furnishings. All of which I’ll cover shortly.
BEST THING TO DO WITHIN A 15-MINUTE WALK
The Ranch
The crazy thing about The Ranch’s property is that though it feels very much outside of the typical Laguna Beach hustle, the sand is just steps away. Just a short walk down a creekside path. And it’s not just any beach — it’s one of Laguna’s best: Aliso Creek. Our last remaining beach with firepits. One of the best skimboarding spots on earth. With plenty of real estate to spread out a blanket on (one of the wildest phenomena of this region is that you can have a whole lot of space to yourself if you’re only willing to walk 200 feet away from the beach access point).
So do that. Take a stroll, hang out on the beach, and when the sun or crowds overwhelm you, retreat to your shady canyon hideaway. The Ranch also operates Lost Pier Café at Aliso Beach and the food is excellent. Far better than you’d ever expect from on-the-sand dining. Try the chowder fries or the churros or the short rib burrito — there are some real crowd-pleasers on the menu.
THE BEST THING TO DO/EAT/DRINK WITHIN A $20 CAB RIDE
Literally, all of Laguna Beach is at your fingertips for a $20 cab ride so… you have options. With that said, I have to highlight the incredible work that local creative Scotty Wise and his crew are doing with Club 222 Productions. Wise and his partners are Laguna’s first club promoters in at least 10 years and they are truly crushing it — allowing residents a spot that’s legitimately popping while also attracting attention from wider Orange County and some of LA’s more committed club kids.
For the past six months or so, Club 222 has had a standing Friday and Saturday night engagement as “Club Sueños” at the restaurant of the same name, right downtown. With the property undergoing a quick revamp they’ve been roving but are likely to settle back there when the dust clears. Check their IG for updates.
BED GAME
THE RANCH
Italian linens? I’ve very into it. The best are big and the blankets aren’t heavy and the pillows are strong. The sheets are excellent for cooling you off if you’re a little sunburnt from the beach or a little sweaty from your post-party activities.
Rating: 9/ 10
SEXINESS FACTOR
THE RANCH
The Porch is very sexy. Seductive even. The pool and hot tub are open relatively late — 10 pm — also very sexy. The hideaway feel of the entire property is definitely sexy. The only downgrade is that the rooms aren’t necessarily sleek in a way that screams sex. And of course, by allowing kids every property loses a point.
Rating:8/10
THE VIEWS & PICS SPOTS
THE RANCH
This isn’t an influencer haven. The pics coming out of the many on-site weddings are superb but it’s not a place that people are constantly filming themselves at. That’s a good thing — it feels more private this way. Plus there are literally endless IG spots in Laguna Beach for #content.
With that said, get a pic of yourself playing golf — it might be the best way to fully encapsulate the beautiful scenery.
Rating: 6/10
BEST SEASON TO VISIT
You want the real secret for Laguna? September 7th to October 7th. Kids are back to school. Summer is over. But no one has told the weather that.
With that said, if you’re not going in the ocean, year-round is great. Be warned, Laguna Beach is famous for a dense marine layer from May to July — “June Gloom” — which keeps the sun covered most of the day.
IF I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ONE THING
The room decor is new and well done and fits thematically within the setting. But if they consulted me, I’d have gone more ’70s Cali BoHo. It just feels cooler and younger to me. That said, it’s certainly not a major distraction.
BOOK HERE
Rooms start at $599 per night. The resort is currently offering two special offers, both valid through September 4th.
Arrive Sunday through Wednesday and stay three or more nights to save 20%. Or stay two nights and receive $50 resort credit towards dining or golf and waived overnight parking.
On Tuesday, Donald Trump was booked and processed before pleading not guilty to 37 counts of mishandling classified documents. He then jetted from a Miami courthouse to his golf club in New Jersey to give a speech invalidating our country’s justice system, accusing government officials of conspiring against him, and basically arguing he can show Top Secret documents to anyone he wants because he used to be commander-in-chief.
Just before 9 p.m. ET on Tuesday, the network showed a split-screen image that came with a chaos-causing chyron. On one side, Trump, vomiting his paranoid delusions to a crowd of JFK, Jr. resurrectionist believers who ate it up like pigs at the slop trough. On the other, Biden, delivering a speech at the White House marking the national holiday of Juneteenth. Underneath both the words, “Wannabe dictator speaks at the White House after having his political rival arrested,” floated on the screen. It was a truly dumb choice — to publicly malign a sitting president after recently losing a defamation case that cost the network $787 million. But then again, it’s Fox News!
Today, the “news” channel’s official response to the controversy was this deflated balloon of an apology from a Fox spokesperson who said, “The chyron was taken down immediately and was addressed.”
I wrote Fox News last night asking for comment on it airing an alert last night calling president Biden a “wannabe dictator.” The company just responded with the following statement and zero additional explanation:
The latest gaffe comes after Fox News was the only major network to air Trump’s speech in full with rivals like CNN wisely choosing to de-platform the accused since he has a tendency to spew lies every time he opens his mouth. No one at Fox News has explained exactly what happened with the chyron debacle, but surely something will leak in the near future (it almost always does).
June is Pride Month, and you know what that means: Conservatives getting triggered over the very existence of LGBTQIA+ people. This year they’ve been been worse than usual, spurned on by a dramatic uptick in discriminatory laws from the likes of second place presidential candidate Ron DeSantis. They’ve gotten mad at Bud Light, at Target, at Walmart. Now they’re mad at — you guessed it — Tony the Tiger.
As per Washington Examiner, the longtime Frosted Flakes mascot attended Sunday’s Tony Awards. He made some friends. One of them was Dylvan Mulvaney, the trans actress, and TikTok influencer. On the red carpet before the show, Tony surprised Mulvaney, causing her to stumble.
“Oh, my God,” Mulvaney exclaimed. “That scared the hell out of me.” They then posed for photos together. It was nice.
Alas, conservatives didn’t think so. Mulvaney has become a scourge of right-wing prejudice ever since she dared team up with Bud Light, prompting beer drinkers to do things like pour booze they paid money for down their sink — or in Kid Rock’s case, shoot them up with an automatic rifle.
Once that crew heard that Tony the Tiger was hanging with a trans person at the Tonys, they went off. “Folks, we have a new boycott to add to the list and I’m truly sorry to say it because I love this brand,” announced one such person on Twitter, who said their mornings are dedicated to either Frosted Flakes or Froot Loops. “That’s always been my line. You associate with Dylan Mulvaney and you’re done with me.” (It gets pretty gross from there.)
“GO WOKE, GO BROKE,” thundered another. “Is Dylan Mulvaney dating Tony the Tiger? Will Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes pay Dylan to leave Tony alone?”
Some companies have placated far-right boycotts over their associations with the LGBTQIA+ community. Looks like Frosted Flakes isn’t one of them. Kellogg’s senior director of marketing told Fansided, “Tony is thrilled to celebrate all the amazing talent and present them with a new ‘Tony’ moment after the curtain falls.”
Will Frosted Flakes see their sales decline sharply, as Bud Light has? Or will sales go up after Kellogg refused to kowtow to far-right prejudice? Either way, it’s the biggest news in the cereal’s history since that time the Tony the Tiger Twitter account got so inundated with risqué social. media requests from furries that he had to start blocking people.
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