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On Saturday, King Charles III was formally crowned at Westminster Abbey. It was, as promised, a lavish to-do, as befitting a monarchy that’s ridiculous in more ways than one. There were over 2,000 guests from around the world. There were throngs of spectators and thousands of troops. There were hats. There wasn’t Ed Sheeran. And there was the coronation regalia, which included such funky items as scepters and what many on social media thought looked like an iconic item from an iconic Monty Python film.

That item was the Royal Orb, one of the flashier things handed to Charles during his coronation. According to Vox:

It was made in the 17th century, and it symbolizes the sovereign’s power over the Christian world. It’s topped with a cross and divided into three sections with bands of jewels, symbolizing the three continents known at the time of its manufacture.

But what many online chuckleheads saw was the “holy hand grenade of Antioch,” a weapon employed during a key scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s what Graham Chapman’s ever-flustered King Arthur and gang use to fell the Rabbit of Caerbannog, a creature that looks like a typical woodland critter…until it’s approached, at which point it can brutally dismember people with shocking swiftness.

And so, while many were celebrating the coronation of the 13th monarch in British history, others were quoting one of the most quotable films in British history.

Others were simply helping make the words “the holy hand grenade of Antioch” trend.

Anyway, Anthony Bourdain wouldn’t have been amused by any of this.

King Charles III and Queen Camilla’s coronation took place on Saturday, May 6, at Westminster Abbey in London. Katy Perry and Lionel Richie were among celebrities in attendance (as relayed by Vanity Fair).

Perry, Richie, and Andrea Bocelli were announced as performers last month after The Daily Mail reported that the likes of Adele and Ed Sheeran were “unable to perform.”

Ed Sheeran cleared up the reason behind his absence.

“I want to clear something up actually because there was loads of stuff in the press that I turned down the coronation, and no one ever asked me — ever,” Sheeran told SiriusXM’s The Morning Mash Up (as noted by People).

He added, “I assume if they went online and went, ‘What’s Ed doing on May 6?,’ they would’ve been like, ‘Oh, he’s playing in Dallas.’ I think that’s what happened, but obviously, [the] press had the negative story of loads of people turning down the coronation. But I never ever turned it down.”

Sheeran noted he was “excited to tune [in]” because the coronation is “historic.”

The UK-born global pop star is scheduled to begin the North American leg of his Mathematics Tour tonight, May 6, at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. Sheeran also recently revealed dates for his Subtract Tour in support of his album by the same name, which arrived on Friday, May 5.

– (Subtract) is out now via Asylum and Atlantic. Find more information here.

Ed Sheeran is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

On any other night of Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour, Phoebe Bridgers joining Swift for the live debut of “Nothing New” would have been the prevailing takeaway. With everything Swift pulled during her first of three Nashville shows last night, May 5, it’s a footnote.

The headline from Friday’s tour stop is that Swift announced Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) will be her next re-recorded release due out July 7. There was also an alleged Matty Healy sighting, which is relevant because The Sun claimed earlier in the week that Healy and Swift are dating and were “ready to go public with their romance in Nashville.” Oh, and Bridgers used her first night as one of Swift’s The Eras Tour openers to bring out her Boygenius band members Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus.

But back to Bridgers with Swift. The two performed “Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault],” their collaborative track from Swift’s 2021 re-recorded album, Red (Taylor’s Version). Of course, this came within the Red era of Swift’s sprawling three-plus-hour set.

Red (Taylor’s Version) is the most recent of Swift’s re-recorded albums. Swifties have been convinced for months that Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) would be next, especially after Swift dropped Easter eggs in the video for her Midnights track “Bejeweled” last October.

The evidence became almost undeniable when the wristbands handed out for The Eras Tour lit up in purple at the end of last Sunday’s (April 30) show in Atlanta. Once Swift confirmed Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) mid-show in Nashville, the city’s John Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge turned purple.

“It fills me with such pride and joy to announce that my version of Speak Now will be out July 7 (just in time for July 9th, iykyk) I first made Speak Now, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. The songs that came from this time in my life were marked by their brutal honesty, unfiltered diaristic confessions and wild wistfulness,” Swift posted across her socials.

Her post continued, “I love this album because it tells a tale of growing up, flailing, flying and crashing… and living to speak about it. With six extra songs I’ve sprung loose from the vault, I absolutely cannot wait to celebrate Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) with you on July 7th.”

Swift and The Eras Tour is scheduled to be in Kansas City, Missouri on July 7-8.

So, while Bridgers’ song with Swift is titled “Nothing New,” it felt like everything was new in Nashville on Friday night. Catch up on it all below.

Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) is out 7/7. Find more information here.

For one reason or another, NBA players getting hit in the nuts seems to be at an all-time high during the 2023 playoffs. On Friday night during Game 3 of the Western Conference Semifinal series between the Denver Nuggets and the Phoenix Suns, Nikola Jokic became the latest player to have to deal with a shot below the belt.

Jokic came up to set a screen on Cameron Payne, who was guarding Jamal Murray. Nothing unusual happened here — Payne ran into Jokic, while Murray decided to go to his left instead of using the screen — but as Payne bumped into the former NBA MVP, his left arm got acquainted with Jokic’s groin, which led to the big fella hitting the deck in some serious pain.

Interestingly, unlike some other nut shots we’ve seen this postseason, Payne benefitted from this getting reviewed by the officials. Prior to this getting reviewed, Payne was hit with a technical foul for the contact with Jokic. But after the review, that ended up getting rescinded, and Payne was only called for a personal foul on Murray for the contact that happened after he ran into Jokic. Regardless of the penalty, we must insist that NBA players stop hitting each other below the belt.

Drop everything now! Taylor Swift‘s show has been quite the chaotic one tonight, as the pop star kicked off the first of her three Nashville dates. Between an appearance from rumored boyfriend Matty Healy of The 1975 and bringing Phoebe Bridgers out for “Nothing New,” it seems Swift had even more tricks up her sleeve — as she promised earlier in the night.

During her surprise song segment, Swift mentioned her love for planning, tossing in a subtle “speak” reference before telling the audience to direct their attention to the screen. The backdrop then changed to announce Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) will be out July 7. She then performed “Sparks Fly” and “Teardrops On My Guitar” as the two song selections.

“I first made Speak Now, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20,” Swift shared to social media. “The songs that came from this time in my life were marked by their brutal honesty, unfiltered diaristic confessions and wild wistfulness. I love this album because it tells a tale of growing up, flailing, flying and crashing… and living to speak about it.”

She has also revealed that this version will have six new vault songs.

In the days leading up to the show, fans had speculated it was coming, as a lot of the bracelets at her previous shows were blinking purple (the era’s color), and the official Taylor Nation account was making a lot of song references from the record. Her website has also updated, seemingly revealing the album’s cover, which features a present-day Swift in an updated purple dress.

Swift’s last re-recording was also Red (Taylor’s Version) back in 2021, so fans had hoped for a while that another was on the way. And now it is.

Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) is out 7/7. Find more information here.

Gucci Mane is back with his brand new song, “Pissy,” and it features none other than Roddy Ricch and Nardo Wick to help deliver the attitude. The track is also produced by Avo No Sleep, Koncept-P, and Will No Sleep.

“Grandma raised me, I’m from the Westside where it get sticky, and my four wheels come with road kits / I got Elliott like I’m Missy, stack my bread up, cut the corners off, it ain’t no way you could diss me, b*tch / I got the yellow gold / I got the yellow stones and my wrist and ring / It look pissy,” Gucci raps alongside Roddy for the second chorus.

Throughout the track, the three rappers continue to showcase their extravagant possessions, women, and other vices. “Hey, put on them Daisy Dukes / Show me what that new Mercedes do / Real trap house, all the pots and pans come with residue,” Roddy adds in his verse.

Meanwhile, Nardo joins Gucci later in the track, as the two add, “They say we litty, uh, I say, ‘We ain’t lit enough’ / They say we did it, uh, I say, ‘We ain’t did enough.’”

Gucci Mane’s last project was his compilation record last year, so fans have been waiting for a possible new album — with this adding to the anticipation.

Check out Gucci Mane’s “Pissy” with Roddy Ricch and Nardo Wick above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Well. Fans at Taylor Swift‘s first of her Nashville shows tonight have reportedly spotted The 1975’s Matty Healy in the VIP tent, just days after the two were reportedly dating, according to The Sun. He’s also next to what appears to be Gracie Abrams and Julien Baker, who were also at Swift’s show this evening.

Healy had wrapped up a tour with The 1975 this week, leading many Swifties to suspect a confirmation if he actually showed up at her shows after it ended.

Then, earlier Friday night, The 1975’s manager Jamie Oborne posted a Swift-related mural to his Instagram story, adding fuel to the theories — even before Healy was spotted.

During Swift’s set at the very start, she had mentioned, “I’m not wearing sleeves but I have some tricks up them.”

Swifties on social media are now wildly reacting to the Healy spotting. “delete, a lot of people asking you to delete, its triggering for so many people, there are people that faint and feel sick, please im begging you to delete it, delete post right now, its forbidden and iIIegal in many countries to post something like that, people are crying,” one fan wrote, prompting the regular meme joke when seeing something chaotic.

“THIS WASN’T THE SURPRISE WE WANTED TAYLOR WTF,” another wrote.

Check out the photo of Matty Healy at Taylor Swift’s concert above. Continue scrolling for some more fan reactions.

Friday night’s game between the Boston Celtics and the Philadelphia 76ers was a hotly-contested affair, and in the game’s fourth quarter, a scary looking incident occurred between Joel Embiid and Grant Williams. Both Williams and Jaylen Brown tried their best to corral a loose ball, but were unsuccessful in their efforts, as both players hit the deck and couldn’t reel it in.

The two players dove for it right near Embiid, who tried his best to hop over the pair of Celtics players. That didn’t quite happen, because when Embiid went to land, his right foot connected with the back of Williams’ head, which sent the Boston forward’s face right into the hardwood.

It did not look good at all and there was a little bit of blood, which led to Williams briefly coming out of the game to get medical attention. But somehow, this must not have been nearly as bad as it looked, as Williams was able to come back into the game shortly after. The two actually discussed the moment, with Embiid apologizing and Williams saying he knew the league MVP was going for the ball.

We’ll have to wait until after the game to find out if anything happened to Williams — who Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla trusted to battle with Embiid for stretches of the game — that he was able to play through.

For Toosii‘s brand new remix of his already Top 20 hit, “Favorite Song,” he brought Khalid along for the ride this time.

“I’m on the stage right now / Singing your favorite song,” Toosii notes in the chorus, which they sing together. “Look in the crowd / And you’re nowhere to be found as they sing along.”

“Now you’re right back where you started / And it hit me the most / ‘Cause I care for you and that’s how it goes / And I’m there for you like nobody knows / Since the day I met you, I told you, I won’t turn back / I’m locked in forever and, baby, I promise that,” Khalid adds in his individual verse.

“I’m excited to have Khalid join me on this track,” Toosii said about the collaboration, according to Hypebeast. “He has such a dope and unique voice and I think it really takes an already amazing song to the next level. I’ve been wanting to collab with him on the right track for a while and I think we picked the perfect one.”

Toosii’s new album, Naujour, is also set to drop this summer — with this remix potentially finding its way onto the tracklist.

Check out Toosii’s new remix of “Favorite Song” with Khalid above.

Naujour is out 6/2 via South Coast Music Group/Capitol Records. Find more information here.

It’s not uncommon to hear something outside of your house, especially if it’s close to trash pick-up day. Raccoons and stray cats treat an overflowing trashcan like a holiday dinner, and even if you weren’t sure if you heard something or not, the torn trash bags confirm your suspicion.

This is a pretty universal experience in America, so hearing a rustle under your house typically conjures images of a trash panda that got stuck. But for one family, the noises weren’t coming from a raccoon at all. In a viral video on TikTok that has over 10 million views, a couple is outside looking for the source of the noises they’ve been hearing. The woman is filming at a fairly safe distance, while the guy investigates their crawl space.

Everything is going well. They hear what sounds like a hiss and with relief exclaim that it’s a raccoon.

They were wrong. Like pee your pants, everyone for themselves, wrong.

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As the man tries to move whatever is blocking access to the crawl space, he stands back and sprays something into the small opening. Another man is seen holding a broom to help shoo the little mask-wearing friend on its way, when the panel that closes the area starts to move, right before it busts open from the inside.

In that moment, the man forgot he had a wife and a friend. He ran as he yelled, “Oh, it’s a bear!”

If you live in an area that frequently has bear sightings, it’s important to remember that bears like to hide in dark cool places, like crawl spaces or under a pool deck. So secure your crawl spaces and other areas around your home that might make a bear think it’s a good place to take a long nap. No one wants to explain why they hurdled their kids and stiff-armed their grandma to get back into their house.

Watch the video below:

@badthingswithfunnypeople

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