We’ve all done it. If there is one common human experience, it’s getting the lyrics wrong in a song. I refuse to believe that this isn’t a universal thing that transpires in all countries, cultures and languages, and if you tell me otherwise I’ll have no other choice than to believe you’re lying. But there’s something innocently hilarious about people learning that they’ve been singing the wrong words to popular songs. Someone in a Reddit community decided to ask the question that clearly a lot of people have been waiting to be asked: “What’s a song lyric that you completely misheard for a while?”
The results were gold, obviously, because lots of lyrics are misheard and sung incorrectly until it’s emblazoned into the part of your brain that’s responsible for holding song lyrics. I remember hanging out with a friend and we were blasting “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis but when the part came when they sing “so we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us,” my friend belted “so we put our hands up like the silly can holders.” When I told her those weren’t the words she insisted I was mishearing them, so I asked, “what the heck is a silly can holder?!”
Turns out my friend had no idea what a silly can holder was and we had a good laugh. The person on Reddit that asked people to share their misheard lyrics was likely just as entertained. Like when one user’s misheard lyrics gave Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved” a very dark turn, because they heard and sang “ask her if she wants to stay alive” instead of “ask her if she wants to stay a while.” Ma’am-sir, we’re going to need to see what’s in your trunk.
One person thought Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” said “Starbucks lovers” instead of “long list of ex-lovers” and honestly, it’s pumpkin spice season, so Starbucks lovers kind of works. A couple of cozy sweaters, laptops and white cups with a weird mermaid that seems to be holding two tails in her hands could make a great rom-com opening.
Some unfortunate person thought Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” lyrics were “I can’t believe you kiss your cock goodnight.” Now that’s either NSFW or someone has a really close relationship with their rooster. Either way, those lyrics are unequivocally wrong because the actual words are, “I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight.” Car! Sweet mother of pearl, I hope they weren’t singing that in public.
Who remembers Dido? “White Flag” was definitely a bop in the early 2000s but this person thought the singer said “I will poke my eyes out and surrender.” Let’s hope they do in fact still have their eyes because the actual lyrics are, “And I won’t put my hands up and surrender,” which obviously makes much sense—bonus points for getting to keep your eyeballs.
Some of these misheard lyrics are just hilarious and also confusing because I can’t quite figure out how this person heard “I got shoes, they’re made of plywood.” The words are, and as far as I know have always been “I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying” in the Grease song “You’re the One That I Want.”
But this last one has me wondering who is Jason and why does he get his own waterfall? This user thought TLC sang “don’t go Jason waterfalls” in their hit song “Waterfalls.” I mean, we probably shouldn’t be chasing waterfalls like the lyrics actually say, but Jason waterfalls might be a pretty cool dude. We’ll never know though.
If you’ve never known the hilarity and embarrassment of mishearing lyrics, consider yourself lucky. But I’m highly suspicious that you’re making that up. No one’s that perfect, people aren’t tacos. Now go forth and belt out “pour some shook-up ramen” while the rest of the crowd demands they be doused with sugar.
This article originally appeared on 09.24.22
(@giselleb1234) 
