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Costco sells a lot of alcohol. Their sales of booze — beer, wine, and spirits — is in the billions of dollars annually. Part of that huge footprint is that Costco carries its own discount spirits under the “Kirkland Signature” brand name. One of the best deals on the spirits end of Costco’s Kirkland Signature is their 1.75-liter bottle of Irish Whiskey. Basically, you’re getting 2.33 bottles of triple-distilled Irish whiskey for $30, which is about $12.50 per bottle (standard 750ml size).

But is it any good? Moreover is it actually better than the world’s number one Irish whiskey, Jameson? Let’s find out!

METHODOLOGY:

For this blind taste test, I had one glass of each Irish whiskey poured for me and I nosed and tasted the whiskeys. The thrust of this blind tasting is whether or not a $12 bottle can beat a $30 one. That’s a tall order.

There are no fancy parameters here. This is based on taste alone. So with that in mind, let’s dive in and see if Costco’s famed Irish Whiskey is actually better than one of the most iconic whiskeys of all time, Jameson.

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Part 1: The Irish Whiskey Tasting

Taste 1

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose is a fairly classic yet light Irish whiskey with a hint of soft graininess, a drop of honey, and a little leatheriness with maybe some apple.

Palate: The palate is very neutral with hints of that grain and honey and a balance of mild malt spice, oak, and a touch of orchard fruits.

Finish: The end is pretty much vodka.

Initial Thoughts:

This is as basic as Irish whiskey gets. Yes, you can tell it’s “Irish” but only just.

Taste 2

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Light green chili pepper is accented by lemon candy, soft maltiness, a hint of sweetgrass, and honey-dipped almonds on the nose.

Palate: The palate opens with a hint of chocolate malt with a dash of vanilla next to creamy honey, nutty cakes, and a whisper of woody spice barks with a touch more of that dry sweet grass.

Finish: The proofing water comes through on the end but doesn’t overly mute the honeyed nuts and soft grassy maltiness.

Initial Thoughts:

This is so much more complex that it’s almost mind-blowing side-by-side. It’s like waking up and then having all that half-asleep fogginess clearing and seeing the world anew finally.

Part 2: Ranking Kirkland Signature Irish Whiskey Vs. Jameson

2. Kirkland Signature Irish Whiskey — Taste 1

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $29 (1.75-liter bottle)

The Whiskey:

This macro-whiskey from Ireland is triple-distilled and a blend of malt and grain whiskeys. The whiskey ages for at least four years before it is batched, proofed, and bottled for Costco.

As for who makes it? Costco will never tell. But it really, really feels like watered-down Jameson so I’d wager it’s likely Irish Distillers, which also happens to be one of the only distilleries that could handle the volume that Costco needs for this expression.

Bottom Line:

If you’re drinking whiskey and Coke or whiskey and ginger ale, then… I guess get this? It’ll be cheap and completely neutral with a fleeting sense of “Irish whiskey” buried deep under that sweet fizzy soda pop.

Or maybe if you’re making a big punch and need a cheap whiskey for it.

Or, you know, just skip it entirely. If you’re looking for quality, cheap Irish whiskey for this weekend’s St. Patrick’s Day festivities, this ain’t it.

1. Jameson Triple Distilled Irish Whiskey — Taste 2

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $29

The Whiskey:

The whiskey is a blend of single pot still (made from malted and unmalted barley) and single grain whiskeys. Those whiskeys age in ex-bourbon barrels and ex-sherry casks until they hit that classic sweet spot that makes Jameson Jameson. Those barrels are then blended, proofed, and bottled.

Bottom Line:

While this felt a million times better when tasted next to Kirkland Signature Irish Whiskey, this was still pretty basic. This will make a decent cocktail or mixer with ginger ale. You can also shoot it with a beer (Guinness, duh!) back. Other than that, this is entry-level stuff at an okay price point.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

I’m probably going to give that bottle of Kirkland Signature to my sink (the last thing I need is a bottle that big collecting dust on a shelf). Sorry, it’s just not that good.

And that’s kind of the issue with Costco’s Kirkland Signature spirits. Some of them are stellar, especially their latest bourbon releases. Then some bottles, like their tequila, are just okay. Some of it is absolutely undrinkable. This falls into the “meh” category, which is a pretty hard pass but not undrinkable. If you’re going to Costco for booze this weekend, get the vodka instead. Or just go to your local liquor store and pick up a Jameson.

Thanks to a calculated alignment with Kevin McCarthy where she served as biggest ally during the contentious Speaker of the House vote, Marjorie Taylor Greene has seen her political star rise from disgraced congresswoman to sitting on several key House committees. Heck, McCarthy even let her preside over Congress as Speaker Pro Tempore for a day. There’s seemingly no limit to Greene’s power, but there probably should be after her latest political stunt.

During a recent House Homeland Security Committee hearing in Texas, Greene reportedly revealed intelligence that may have been classified. While questioning U.S. Border Patrol Chief Raul Ortiz, Greene openly asked him about explosives that were found near the border and whether he was aware that they were planted by “cartels.” Ortiz refused to answer the question citing the confidential nature of the topic.

“I will tell you that some of this information that I receive, I receive in a confidential [sensitive compartmented information facility (SCIF)],” Ortiz told Greene. “So I’m going to be a little hesitant of briefing what I know and what I don’t know with respect to some of those, an event like that.”

Greene, however, defended her disclosure of classified intel. Via Raw Story:

“I understand, Chief Ortiz, but I’m not going to be confidential because I think people deserve to know,” Greene declared. “Our Border Patrol agents should not be in those type of conditions where they are at risk of being blown to pieces by the cartels, who, by the way, are criminals, and they should be treated as such.”

The Georgia congresswoman proceeded to grandstand even further by demanding America go to war with the cartels.

“As a matter of fact, I’ve co-sponsored legislation to declare war on the cartels because they are definitely declaring war on us, the American people, and our Border Patrol agents, and I’ve had enough of it,” Greene said. “And I know Americans have had enough of it.”

In Greene’s defense, former President Trump may have declassified the material with his mind, so we can’t confidentially say whether Greene erroneously divulged national secrets or not. You always gotta factor in the mind powers.

(Via Raw Story)

Last year, it was Better Call Saul. This year, it’s Succession. What hall of fame prestige drama will the TV gods take from us next?

Succession creator and showrunner Jessie Armstrong recently confirmed that the fourth season of Succession will also be its final season. “There’s a promise in the title of Succession. I’ve never thought this could go on forever. The end has always been kind of present in my mind,” he told the New Yorker. “From season two, I’ve been trying to think: Is it the next one, or the one after that, or is it the one after that?” Guess we know the answer.

Alan Ruck, who plays presidential laughingstock Connor Roy, agrees with Armstrong’s decision to end the show before it becomes stale. “The truth is, we’ve all known on the show since June,” he told Empire. “And I think it’s the right time to end it in terms of the struggle to see who’s going to take command of this empire. A fifth season would have been drawn out, and if it just faded away, that would have been a disgrace.”

As for what to expect from Connor in season four (the Conheads are gonna love this), Ruck teased, “I don’t think it’s far-fetched to say that this delusional man with unlimited resources could make it to the highest office in the land.”

Hm, whoever could he be referring to?

“We just went through what we went through with Trump, and nobody thought that would happen. And it did, and it was a mess.”

I guess that’s who. Succession returns to HBO on March 26.

(Via Empire)

The Louisiana-based rapper Hurricane Chris has officially been acquitted of his murder charges. He was previously indicted in October 2020 for a suspected connection to a fatal shooting of Danzeria Farris Jr. that happened earlier that year.

Yesterday (March 14), he was found not guilty of second-degree murder in the trial — even after only his team used two witnesses, compared to the prosecution’s 11.

“Tonight I was found not guilty of second degree murder and illegal possession of stolen things,” he shared in a statement to The Shade Room. “I wanna thank God, my attorneys at the Washington & Wells law firm, and my family for standing with me as my life was on the line.”

“They wanted to give me life if I was found guilty. Now I can hug my son and think about raising him to be a man,” he added. “This situation drained me and affected my health greatly. God, I give you all the glory. I got my life back and words can’t explain how I feel. Thanks to everyone who wished me well.”

Chris had also been out of jail, after being released on bail for $500,000. He claimed that Farris Jr. tried to steal his car and that he acted in self-defense.

Is Jack Daniel’s bourbon? It’s an age-old question that seems to keep coming up like a bad penny. Yes, Jack Daniel’s — created by Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel back in the 1870s — is labeled as a “Tennessee whiskey” and not a “bourbon whiskey.” But that’s not the whole story. To answer the question of whether or not Jack Daniel’s — and Tennessee whiskey more widely — is bourbon whiskey you need to look at what it takes to legally be called bourbon and Tennessee whiskey, the North American Free Trade Agreement, that extra step of charcoal filtration and what that means, and what whiskey brands choose to put on their labels.

I can totally understand if this is all a bit much.

At the end of the day, who cares what a whiskey is technically called as long as what’s in the bottle is good enough to enjoy, right? I wish we all lived in a world that was that easy. But there are tons of online rants about what Tennessee whiskey and Jack Daniel’s supposedly is and is not and how-dare-you-besmirch-Kentucky-bourbon-for-suggesting-Tennessee-whiskey-is-bourbon tirades. We’ve seen it in our comments over and over.

Look, there’s a very easy answer to whether Jack Daniel’s is bourbon or not.

Yes. 100%. If you think differently you’re wrong.

Now that you know the answer, I’m going to break down why. In the end, this really isn’t that complicated. To quote my friend Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller Chris Fletcher, “If I wanted to put ‘bourbon’ on every label of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Straight Whiskey tomorrow, I could without changing a single thing about what’s in the bottle.” Of course, Fletcher is talking about the Tennessee Straight Whiskey and not the Tennessee Straight Rye that he makes for Jack Daniel’s but you get the point. And just to drive that home, Jack Daniel’s not putting “bourbon” on their label is all about tradition more than anything else.

So why is that statement from Fletcher the cold hard fact of the matter? Let me show you.

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Part 1 — What Is Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey?

Let’s look at this from a legal point of view. There are concrete rules that define these whiskeys for both labeling purposes and trade. Tennessee whiskey has a set of rules that are enforced (sorta) by the state of Tennessee’s local legislative branch.

Here are the actual, real rules. To be labeled a “Tennessee Whiskey” the whiskey must…

• Must be made in Tennessee, USA
• Must have a mash bill of at least 51% corn
• Must be no higher than 160 proof/80% ABV when it comes off the stills
• Must be 125 proof/62.5% ABV or below when barreled
• Must be aged in charred new American oak containers (it doesn’t have to be a barrel)
• Must be bottled at 80 proof/40% ABV or above
• To be labeled as “straight Tennessee whiskey,” the whiskey must be aged at least 2 years
• Must be charcoal filtered before barrel aging ***

These rules are what make Tennessee Whiskey “Tennessee whiskey.” The big variable at play is that Tennessee whiskey needs to be charcoal filtered before barrel aging. Jack Daniel’s does this by slowly drip-dropping every single ounce of their hot-off-the-stills juice through 10-packed feet of sugar maple charcoal (that they make on-site) in old wooden Cyprus vats.

During that process, the grain and heavy oil notes from the corn, barley, and rye are partially stripped from the distillate, leaving a softer unaged whiskey that’s far more fruit-forward. If you want to get all science-y about it, the charcoal filtration is allowing the chemical compounds from the yeast — especially fruity sweet ones — to dominate the esters that eventually interact with the wood sugars during aging. That’s the main reason that Jack Daniel’s is so much sweeter and fruitier than some other bourbons. Big apple/pear, cherry, peach, and banana notes are pushed forward during that filtering that then attaches to spicier tobacco notes from the wood, creating Jack Daniel’s iconic profile.

Other Tennessee whiskeys that use charcoal filtration before barrel aging will tend to lean more fruity, but not always. It really comes down to the blenders and their target flavor profile from brand to brand. George Dickel tends to lean more toward earthiness and minerality via sweet fruits. Nelson Greenbrier aims for classic Kentucky bourbon notes with big spicy cherry leatheriness. Uncle Nearest also leans in that classic bourbon direction.

***Benjamin Prichard’s has the only exemption from this process in Tennessee wherein it can be labeled as a “Tennessee Whiskey” even though it is not charcoal filtered. That means it’s really just bourbon made in Tennessee at the end of the day.

Part 2 — What Is Bourbon Whiskey?

So how much does Tennessee whiskey legally differ from bourbon whiskey?

Here are the actual, real rules. To be labeled a bourbon, the whiskey must…

• Must be made in the USA
• Must have a mash bill of at least 51% corn
• Must be no higher than 160 proof/80% ABV when it comes off the stills
• Must be 125 proof/62.5% ABV or below when barreled
• Must be aged in charred new American oak containers (it doesn’t have to be a barrel)
• Must be bottled at 80 proof/40% ABV or above
• To be labeled as “straight bourbon,” the whiskey must be aged at least 2 years
• No rules concerning charcoal filtration

So, um, these whiskeys are the exact same thing with one key difference. There’s no rule about charcoal filtration when it comes to bourbon whiskey. Well, that and Tennessee whiskey needs to be made in Tennessee; but, hey, Tennessee is in the U.S.A so that still counts as bourbon country.

Still, by legal definition, Tennessee whiskey is just bourbon with one more step. This leads us to the next topic.

Part 3 — Does “Charcoal Filtering” Disqualify Tennessee Whiskey From Being A Bourbon?

Nope. Not even remotely.

In fact, there are plenty of whiskeys that are labeled “straight bourbons” that are not from Tennessee but are still charcoal filtered.

Here are a few examples…

• Wild Turkey Longbranch — filtered with Texas mesquite before aging
• Evan Williams — aged and then charcoal filtered
• Heaven Hill Old Style — aged and then charcoal filtered
• Ezra Brooks — charcoal filtered
• Cooper’s Craft — charcoal filtered and then aged

Moreover, it’s not like this is a secret thing. Every one of those bourbons points out the charcoal filtering clearly on the label. Further, all of those whiskeys are from Kentucky.

Then there’s the wider elephant in the room — All aged whiskey (bourbon, scotch, Irish whiskey, whatever) is charcoal filtered if it is aged in a charred barrel.

Again without getting too science-y, all whiskey is charcoal filtered in the barrel. Charring a barrel creates a carbon layer that is a filter. That carbon layer filters the whiskey as it processes in and out of the wood as it ages. Whiskey does not get any flavor from the char in a barrel. The char inside every single whiskey barrel on earth is a charcoal filter no different than the one in your Britta (technically speaking). Now, that level of carbon charcoal filtration is not legally considered “charcoal filtration” in the sense that a brand needs to put it on a label. It’s more of a universally accepted fact. The point is — bourbon is charcoal filtered on a fundamental level.

Part 4 — Is Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey Bourbon Or Not?

Yes, unequivocally.

Here is the exact wording from NAFTA, “Bourbon Whiskey and Tennessee Whiskey, which is a straight Bourbon Whiskey authorized to be produced only in the State of Tennessee, as distinctive products of the United States.”

The extra step of charcoal filtering before aging does not disqualify Jack Daniel’s or any Tennessee whiskey from being a bourbon whiskey. As Fletcher said, he could call Jack Daniel’s a bourbon tomorrow if he wanted to. In fact, Nicole Austin over at George Dickel Tennessee Whisky did exactly that with her 8-Year-Old Bourbon release, which is classic Tennessee whiskey (charcoal filtered first) that just happens to have more of a classic Kentucky bourbon flavor profile. That whisky could have been labeled an 8-Year-Old Tennessee Whisky without any legal ramifications. It was a choice available and Austin took it.

I’m not the only one espousing this information, check out his great video from my buddy Jason C. over at The Mash and Drum. He breaks it down and gives you that much-needed second/confirming opinion about how all of this is, indeed, the facts.

In closing, all Tennessee straight whiskey is straight bourbon but not all bourbon is Tennessee whiskey. It’s a rectangle-square situation. Period.

Marcus Smart is a paradox. He swiftly says he doesn’t own a connection to art. Yet immediately after, he deems basketball his artistic outlet, shares that he participated in choir and theater arts in high school, jovially bugs his agent to land him some movie cameos, and takes pride in the fact he dyed his hair Boston Celtics green for last year’s playoff run.

“Nobody saw it coming,” Smart says of his green locks.

Whether it’s the green hair, his passing panache, or his subtle pursuits as a rapper, Smart considers creativity a prominent component of his ethos. It’s part of why he elected to partner with Tres Generaciones Tequila and its “Get Up Tres” campaign, which aims to motivate artists, creators and fans as they progress through their respective journeys.

On behalf of Tres Gen, Dime caught up with Smart last week to discuss his relationship to art, how his upbringing shaped his basketball persona and a host of other topics.

What do you have going on with Tres Gen and why are you excited about it?

I was partnered with Tres Gen and we’re doing this platform, “Get Up Tres.” It’s kind of crazy because, as I was being introduced to the whole Tres Gen movement and the “Get Up Tres” platform, the perseverance, the grit, and the determination that goes into making the best of the best, the bottle, the way that you can tell the time that was taken to make it, it’s just funny because that’s everything that embodies me. Just the way I play, from the grit, my determination, my perseverance through my life, on and off the court. It’s ridiculously crazy, and I just feel it connected right away. And I wanted to be able to be a part of something that reminds me of myself.

I read that perseverance, creativity, and purpose are the pillars of your partnership. How are those things so integral to your identity?

Well, so, for me, and it’s crazy, like with the creativity, my hair is one of those things to be able to, just the way I came out last year in the playoffs and just dyed my hair green, also a Celtics color, it was like, nobody saw it coming. Nobody thought about it who played or plays for Boston to think about actually dyeing their hair. So, that creativity and the perseverance part was really one of the things that had drawn me to it. Because throughout my life, like I said, I’ve always had to persevere and overcome certain obstacles, such as my mom passing away, my brother’s passing away, injuries within basketball, losing in the Finals, all type of things. So, it was just a unique way for me to express myself the same way that it was a unique way for Tres Gen to express themselves as well.

Part of this movement is to help inspire artists, creators and all people, why is that inspiration important to you?

Because for me, growing up, when I was a little kid, being able to see people that you either looked up to, you wanted to look up to or that just intrigued you, I never really had that as much for me. Everybody’s going to the basketball camps, I wasn’t really going to these top basketball camps until I got into about my senior high school. And I felt I wanted to be that voice. I wanted to be somebody that can change the way a young kid looks at an artist, looks at a performer, looks at an athlete or looks at somebody who they idolize, and understand that we’re just like them. We’re human, we go through the same things that they go through. And we see them. We want to be able to connect with them in a way that they connect with us and what better way than actually getting out there, putting your face to something, and allowing them to hear and see you.

The art component is something I latch on to. Do you have a relationship or a background with with art? Is there a way that you try to connect with with art?

I actually don’t, besides basketball being the art of mine. And it’s funny. I’m not, I wouldn’t say as much as like art, but yes, at the same time, I took choir. I took theater arts when I was in high school, I love to act. I’ve been trying to tell my agent get me into some movies, things like that. I rap a little bit. So, it’s just a little bit of everything artistic-wise, the uniqueness of it, the simplicity of my art that I do. And some things that people probably wouldn’t even think I would, such as choir and things like that.

Yeah, I certainly had no idea, so that’s a cool tidbit. Thank you for the insight there. You mentioned perseverance in your life, one of which was going through that Finals loss last year. Both collectively as a team and individually, what did you learn from that experience that you’ve tried to apply this year?

I think for me individually, I learned what it took in the sense of, growing up, I’ve won high school championships, I won an AAU championship, but we’re talking about the world championship at the highest level of highest athletes, of players in the sports world. This is where every person in their field of the athlete world dreams of, is being here, in this championship. We played a team that knew exactly what it took, they’ve been there, and they understood it. For us, we understood it. But it’s a difference when you play somebody who’s actually been through it multiple times. And they taught us a good lesson that it can happen. But you just got to stay focused. You got to play it all the way out. We didn’t finish it. We had two games left. And we left two games on the table.

When you say they really understood it, what does that mean? Is that a sense of valuing every possession or what does that look like?

Every possession, they valued. They understood that when things didn’t go their way, that it was still OK. You can’t get too high or too low. They didn’t let the moment, I guess in a sense, seize them. They seized the moment and that’s why they’re champions. And that’s why they have what they have, the rings and the legacy that they got going.

What did you learn individually on the court, beyond some of the intangibles?

Just learned more and more about my teammates. Where they like the ball at, where they like to score at, their favorite positions on the court, and how to get them the ball and get them easier shots. That’s what that Finals run really taught me individually and I try to bring it to this year’s team, and I have. I’m leading the team in my career[-high] in assists, so I’m doing a good job there. So, just got to continue to work.

Yeah, I wanted to ask about your passing too. You obviously have a prominent ball-handling role and there’s some flair to your passing. Where does that come from? Was there anyone you watched growing up or study now that influences you?

I was always, as a kid, like a little daredevil. Like, I love tumbling. So like, I’m doing flips all kinds of flips. I’ve flipped off houses, I’ve flipped off swings, I’ve flipped off cars, I’ve flipped off other people’s back. I’ve flipped off almost anything. For me, when I get on the court, I like to try stuff. I like to try things. I love to try things that are unconventional at times. Obviously, we all watched Magic [Johnson] growing up. We’ve seen the way he passed the ball and the flair he had with him. You just take all that and bring it into your game and then make it your own. That’s kind of what I did.

With that risk-taking, you play with almost a reckless abandon, where you’re always willing to put your body on the line. You’re known for a lot of different hustle plays. Is there a certain type of hustle play that’s your favorite?

Yeah, a loose ball. So, if it’s like me and one other person for just a loose ball that we need, where I can go full speed and literally just lay out for it, if I can get it, that’s just one of the things that just gets me going, gets my team going. I think it’s fun. Some people might look at it as crazy, but I think it’s fun.

Do you have a favorite loose ball you’ve tracked down in your career?

Yeah, definitely. I’ll never forget. It was my first game, actually, first game, think it was a preseason game my first year against the [Brooklyn] Nets. Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce were just traded to the Nets and they came back and played. I remember it was a loose ball between me, Garnett, Jared Sullinger and, oh, I forgot his name. Ah! I forgot his name. And I was the first one to the ground. I beat KG to the ground. I made a pass to Jeff Green, he dunks it on the fast break. Nets call a timeout. [Garnett] gets up, taps me on my chest, and he goes, that’s the type of [expletive] I like to see, young fella.

That’s awesome, since you were kind of the torchbearer from KG as the heart and soul of the Celtics, so that’s a cool moment to hear. Defensively, one of the things that stands out to me is your ability to play bigger than your stature. Where does that stem from?

I think that originated from being the youngest. I’m the youngest of all boys. So, when you got all boys who play sports and everybody’s a competitor, competitive, you gotta really hold your own. I was always the last to get everything growing up. I didn’t have a bedroom. I slept on the couch. So, it was like, I’m the last in the bathroom. Everything’s last. So, for me, I always had to fight or it wouldn’t end well for me. So, I just, as I grew up, that confidence just stayed with me. And I think that’s what I can contribute the way that I play. Because I’ve always played against older guys, my brothers were always older. I’d play with them and their friends.

Oh, yeah, I can imagine how that shaped you. Is there a team you really enjoy preparing for defensively?

Probably the Bucks, just that team in general. That’s a really good team with some really good players. We have a lot of respect for those guys and what they bring to the table, and it’s always a bloodbath with those guy. It’s always fun playing them, so I’d probably say the Bucks.

Sitting in the No. 2 seed out East right now, what’s what’s worked so well for you all to allow for a fairly seamless transition, at least from the outside, from one head coach to the next?

Just our ability to lean on one another. We know things aren’t gonna be perfect. We know we’ve been in a drought. But we can bounce back quicker than anybody in the league. So, for us understanding that we are a good team, we are one of the top teams and just continue to play like that.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.

Pharrell Williams’ Something In The Water festival is coming back to Virginia Beach next month. Over the course of three days, festivalgoers will be able to see performances from Latto, Kehlani, Kaytranada, Grace Jones, Mumford And Sons, and more.

With all of these exciting acts, fans are eager to get their hands on tickets.

Where can fans buy tickets for Something In The Water?

According to a tweet from the festival’s official Twitter account, fans can purchase tickets from the Something In The Water website. However, it appears only “a limited number of passes are still available.”

Those who aren’t able to get tickets will be able to live stream full performances via Williams’ YouTube channel.

This year’s festival is presented by Walmart, who is committed to helping communities thrive.

“Strengthening local communities is core to Walmart’s DNA,” said Cedric Clark, executive vice president, store operations for Walmart US. “By investing in our associates and in the communities we serve, we help build a foundation where people can live their full potential every day. We’re excited to team up with Something In The Water, returning to a special place to Walmart, Virginia’s Hampton Roads, to help celebrate and empower this community we’re so proud to be a part of.”

Find the full lineup of performers below.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Chipotle has finally rolled out its first new protein option of the year! The brand spent much of 2022 dishing out new meat options, from the garlic guajillo steak, to the pollo asado, and it helped to keep its bare-bones menu interesting throughout the year. We were big fans of the new meats, but unfortunately, each was only available for a limited time. Which left us wondering, what does the brand have in store for us this year?

Well, three months into the year they’ve finally given us an answer (and a new delicious fajita quesadilla) with the new Chicken Al Pastor! We have to say we’re a little torn about this. On one hand, we’re happy Chipotle has brought us something new, but on the other hand… we really liked some of last year’s options and were hoping Chipotle would reintroduce them to the menu and give at least a few permanent menu statuses.

Maybe the Chicken Al Pastor will be delicious and that won’t matter, but it seems insane to have something as good as the Smoked Brisket locked away. Does Chipotle think they’re Prince or something? Hits this good shouldn’t sit in a vault!

The new Chicken al Pastor features grilled chicken marinated in adobo spices, seared morita chili peppers, ground achiote, and a splash of pineapple juice and finished with lime and cilantro. The new option is available at Chipotle’s worldwide, which is dope, because it means everyone can get it, but what’s not cool is… this isn’t exactly al pastor.

Aside from being chicken instead of the traditional shavings of pork shoulder slow-cooked and shaved off a trompo (the big spit you see at the taco stand) this is just… well, grilled chicken that’s chopped up. It’s not even chicken shwarma! Now, there is no rule that says al pastor has to be shaved pork or cooked on a rotating spit, in fact ‘al pastor,’ which translates to ‘shepherd’s style’ was traditionally made with roasted lamb and introduced to Mexico via Lebanese immigrants (which is why I mentioned shwarma), but there is an implication that comes along with ‘al pastor,’ and Chipotle isn’t quite meeting that.

The flavor profile is similar, but without the trompo and the unique seared edges it provides on the meat, I think the name is a bit of a stretch here, which means Chipotle’s worldwide will be introducing ‘al pastor’ to a vast audience while not at all capturing the magic of what people should expect from al pastor.

But that’s judging a book by its cover (and its name) — how does this stuff actually taste? We found out by testing it out in a burrito and fajita quesadilla, here is our verdict!

Chicken al Pastor

Tasting Notes:

For this taste test, I tried the Chicken al Pastor in a burrito (salsa, beans, rice, lettuce, cheese, chicken) and a fajita quesadilla (chicken, fajitas, cheese). In terms of versatility, the protein works great in both. The chicken has an initial burst of mild spicy flavors before bringing on some earthy smoked notes and finishing with a punch of sweetness that dances nicely on the taste buds alongside a hint of lingering heat. The pineapple notes are just barely there, but not in a tart or intrusive way, instead I think the pineapple’s main use is as a simple tenderizer. This chicken is incredibly tender, with a soft mouthfeel that is easy to chew through and bursting with flavor.

Instead, the majority of sweetness seems like it’s coming from the achiote, it has a certain floral and nutty characteristic that becomes incredibly addicting. For that reason, I think the Chicken al Pastor tastes better in the burrito, it needs more ingredients to distract from it, I found the quesadilla to be just a bit too sweet for my liking.

Dipping the quesadilla in sour cream, salsa, and guacamole fixes that issue, but it’s something to keep in mind if you don’t dip!

Now that I’ve had the Chicken al Pastor, my best guess is that this protein would serve a bowl incredibly well. That allows for maximum ingredient mixing with each forkful.

The Bottom Line:

Chipotle has done it again! The brand has no consistently released new protein options that absolutely dunk on what’s on the permanent menu. The Chicken al Pastor is more flavorful than Chipotle’s stock chicken and is absolutely worth a trip to your nearest Chipotle. We get it Chipotle, you know how to marinate meat, now give us some damn nachos!

Find your nearest Chipotle here.

2 Meats No Bun

KFC originally announced the KFC Double Down sandwich in a press release they put out on April Fool’s Day, which makes a lot of sense, being that it seems like a joke that people just sort of kept going for the novelty value of it all. The sandwich, featuring two fried chicken breast “buns” housing two pieces of cheese, two bacon strips, and sauce was the hot punchline during its initial run in 2010.

Before planking before the Ice Bucket Challenge before Kony 2012, there was the KFC Double Down, being eaten for laffs on YouTube by people who weren’t even yet known as “YouTubers.” Its status as a novelty pop culture phenomenon was cemented when Stephen Colbert ate one on his show on Comedy Central, which was a “channel” on a thing called “basic cable” back then, which we all had on our TVs, which was the style at the time.

“I don’t think there has ever been a more obvious sign of profound psychotic behavior than KFC’s new double down sandwich,” Colbert joke-ranted. “It is breaded insanity! It is a sandwich that lacks all sandwichness!…This is the warped creation of a syphilitic brain!”

This was clearly a food designed to be ridiculed all the way to the bank, even before “outrage bait” had been coined as a strategy. Presumably to be washed down with an original recipe Four Loko (which would first be banned in several states later that fall).

The Double Down was originally envisioned as a limited-time menu item but lasted much longer before quietly phasing out. It was basically gone by 2014.

That is… UNTIL NOW.

The Double Down returned to KFC menus on March 6th this month, supposedly for a limited run. I did have one 13 years ago, but I also used to regularly drink original recipe Four Loko so let’s be honest, those memories are fuzzy at best. We figured it was high time for a reappraisal of the KFC Double Down. Are punchlines still as funny 13 years later?

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I dutifully sat in the drive-thru lane just after noon at my local KFC on a rainy day in Fresno, California. The Double Down comes two ways, regular, which comes with mayo, and spicy, which comes with spicy mayo. I ordered one of each, plus fries and a drink.

It was a long(ish) wait for fast food, which actually gave me hope. If it took that much time to make, I figured, maybe it would be fresher? A man can hope.

I received my order and headed for home. The first bad omen was that the fries were very bad. Nicely seasoned, but stale tasting, like they’d been sitting there for a while and/or weren’t very good in the first place. Sort of like seasoned cardboard. I stopped after four or five, and believe me when I say that fries have to be pretty bad for me to stop eating perfectly available fries while driving. I could probably mow down a whole KFC bucket full halfway decent ones.

Five to 10 short minutes later, I was safely at home popping these bad boys out of the bag.

The Review:

They looked… honestly pretty appetizing. The breading looked crunchy, though not daunting. The cheese was nicely melted, and the bacon looked… well, like fast food bacon usually looks. Probably unnecessary, but I suppose I can’t really ding a KFC Double Down for being excessive.

I took a sniff, like I was nosing a fine wine or celebrating a loud fart in front of the kids. It smelled fried and good, like the Colonel’s blend of 11 herbs and spices.

As I bit in, yes, it was a little hard to get my mouth around, as compared to a normal sandwich, but it was doable. I think they cut the breasts in half horizontally rather than using two whole breasts, which seems like the right move. It’s a little rough on the roof of your mouth, without the soft bun to cushion all that breading. A little mayo squirted through a hole in the chicken onto my hand like I was eating a giant gusher candy, which added an element of surprise and disgust.

Taste-wise, it was… okay. There’s lots of smoky bacon flavor and creamy cheese, and the chicken is fine. It’s chicken breast, so it’s not particularly juicy, but it’s not too overcooked or overfried, so dryness isn’t really a factor. The more I chewed and the more bites I took, the more I realized what a salt bomb this thing is. While it has crispy breading, there’s also no fresh crunch — this thing was positively dying for some pickles or maybe some sliced onions in there. I actually thought the spicy sauce was pickles at first glance and I was immediately disappointed that it wasn’t.

The bacon flavor is slightly overwhelming at first, but it’s bacon, so that’s not so bad. The regular mayo is nice too (chicken and mayo being a solid combination) and the spicy sauce is surprisingly spicy. If I had to choose a worst component, it’d actually be the cheese. It tastes like that white American, which contributes little flavor beyond bland milkiness and there’s way too much of it. This definitely doesn’t need two slices, and they mostly seem to deaden the flavors, coating your mouth and neutralizing all the acids.

I understand why Stephen Colbert took one bite and thought “Hey, this actually isn’t bad.”

That was sort of my first thought as well. But then the more bites you take, the worse it gets and the worse you feel. There’s nothing fresh in there, just breading and bacon and mayo and cheese. It’s got no restraint, which is to be expected, but also no pizzazz. One bite is basically enough, there’s nothing else to discover.

I would have to be extremely drunk and/or stoned to finish an entire one of these, and I can’t even imagine the hangover. I got maybe a quarter of the way through the sandwiches and then I called it. This is still more of a prank than it is a meal.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t think fried chicken breasts as sandwich buns is that “out there” of an idea, or even so beyond the pale, nutritionally. In fact I think I’d rather put fast food fried chicken filets in my body than whatever is in the buns. That’s kind of a tough one.

In any case, the biggest issue with the Double Down is that these chicken filets are seasoned like they’re going to be the center of a sandwich (because presumably, they are, for KFC’s other sandwiches), surrounded by fresh and unsalted or not-very-salted ingredients. The Double Down loses all those fresh and unsalted ingredients, doubles the chicken, and adds bacon, cheese, and mayo. That’s too much salt, son! My capillaries were tumescent. I worried I would have to call over a young Mormon boy to read me an essay about Moby Dick. They could definitely improve this by cutting the seasoning level on the chicken in half.

The filling also feels like it isn’t really adding much. The bacon adds a smoky element (fun fact: the halal version subs bacon for a slice of smoked, processed chicken), but it also worsens the seasoning issue. The mayo is welcome, but the cheese doesn’t add anything but a binding. It also desperately needs something fresh in there, even if that’s pickles (which feature into most fast food joints’ chicken sandwiches).

All of which is basically to say: I believe in the potential of the KFC Double Down, but it doesn’t seem like the execution ever got beyond the “stunt food” phase.

Vince’s Fantasy World Galaxy Brain Remix:

If I were rethinking this, I’d cut the cheese (heh) to one slice and use swiss, cheddar, havarti… instead of whatever milky crap this is. I’d also definitely add pickles, and maybe onion and tomato. That’s going to make the sandwich too big, so I’m cutting out one of the chicken filets and wrapping the whole thing in lettuce so that you can hold it — holdability being a key consideration in sandwich artistry.

I’m keeping the bacon, just because.

So it’d be: fried chicken cutlet, melted (real) cheese, bacon, mayo, pickles, tomato, and onion in a lettuce wrap. Now, you might argue, that’s basically just an In N Out protein-style burger with fried chicken instead of a burger patty. To which I’d ask… is that a bad thing? You could even switch the bacon to ham and call it “cordon bleu style.” Remember chicken cordon bleu? Those were the days.

Read our Top Chef Power Rankings here. Vince Mancini is on Twitter.

An A24 film reigned over the 2023 Oscars. Could an A24 TV show do the same at the Emmys? If there’s one that’s going to do it, it’s Beef, a dark comedy series starring Steven Yeun and Ali Wong that will make you think twice about giving the finger to a stranger the next time you’re behind the wheel.

Here’s the official plot description for the A24/Netflix co-production: “A road rage incident between two strangers — a failing contractor and an unfulfilled entrepreneur — sparks a feud that brings out their darkest impulses.” You can watch the trailer above. Also, a note to TV and film editors everywhere, please set more trailers to Smashing Pumpkins songs. Thank you.

“Ali Wong, Steven Yeun, A24, and Netflix. It’s a dream team, and I’m honored to be collaborating with them,” Lee said in a statement. “I’m also grateful to the guy who yelled at me in traffic three years ago. I did not let it go, and now we have a show.” It’s unclear if the “bitch-ass handyman pissing on my hardwood floor,” as Wong fumes in the trailer, is based on someone, too.

Beef, which also stars Joseph Lee, Young Mazino, David Choe, Patti Yasutake, Maria Bello, Ashley Park, Justin H. Min, Mia Serafino, Remy Holt, Andrew Santino, and Rek Lee, premieres on Netflix on April 6th.