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This story originally appeared on 06.17.22

There are many traditional staples of fatherhood—love, support, protection, security, providing an example—but there is, of course, that other not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feeling that dads can provoke in their kids at any given moment … sheer, utter embarrassment.

Usually in a father’s humiliation tool belt is the infamous dad joke. These corny puns have been around since 2003, and let’s face it, they’ll never leave. Of course, no dad needs one to make your eyes roll. They can do that most of the time simply by being themselves.

For his well-known #Hashtags segment, Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share “funny, weird, or embarrassing” stories about their dads. Fallon, a father himself, is no stranger to the cringeworthy power of a dad joke. In a 2020 interview with TODAY, Fallon admitted, “I’m starting to get the eye rolls now where Daddy’s not the funniest person in the world.”

Don’t worry Fallon! Clearly you’re not alone, because people replied with some truly hilarious comments. Dads might be silly, but we’ll gladly put up with it for the love they give us.

Enjoy 20 of the very best #DadStories. As usual, Fallon went first:

1.

“Instead of buying a smoker my dad just grills in the garage with the door closed.” – @jimmyfallon

2.

“At my aunt’s wedding reception, my dad ran out from the bathroom when he heard You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees play, and proceeded to do John Travolta’s routine from Saturday Night Fever.” – @MJ_Rose88

3.

“My Dad will call me sometimes when he wants me to bring him food. He refers to me as ‘GrubDash.'” – @FalPalAMF828

4.

“My dad likes to play a very morbid game called ‘guess who died’, which consists of him gossiping about someone I probably haven’t seen in 20+ years and can’t remember at all, who died recently. Bonus points for guessing the cause of death.” – @jon_jonz

5.

“My dad used to drink his morning coffee with his dentures in his hand while reading the newspaper. When we asked him why, he said his teeth also wanted to read the newspaper.” – @FallonHolic_

6.

“When my dad took my sister to her first Jr. HS dance, she asked to be dropped off a block before the school. My dad proceeded to take her all the way up to the main entrance, got out of the car and loudly announced her arrival!” – @77BroncosFan

7.

“Asked my dad if he knew who Taylor Swift was…he said, I don’t care who he is!” – @JessyKrupa

8.

“My dad whistles really loud. He sticks his head out the window and whistles back to birds. But when the lady next door heard him, she called 911. The cops told her, ‘Lady, he didn’t whistle at you. He only flirts with birds.'” – @tostianascripts

9.

“When my dad would leave a message on my answering machine, he would end the message saying, ‘This is dad signing off.'” – @RealRobFindor

10.

“We were on vacation and the gift shops selling fudge called plain fudge ‘chocolate no nuts.’ A guy walked up to my dad with some samples and offered him some saying ‘chocolate no nuts?’ And my dad said ‘what did you just call me?'” – @lauraceciliaOT

11.

“My Dad laid a new floor in my brother’s house. It was all finished so we couldn’t understand why he was taking up the boards again. Turns out he had seen a spider run underneath and was worried it would be trapped.” – @Sohnzie

12.

“Whenever my dad would try to talk us into trying something new to eat he’d state, ‘It’s so good it’ll put hair on your chest.’ He had 3 daughters.” – @Bookelew

13.

“My mom once bought a 6 ft Santa statue at a yard sale without telling dad. When he got home and parked, we heard banging, crashing and swearing. We went to look and the Santa was laying face down on the curb. Dad thought someone was trying to jump him.” – @dknessfalls

14.

“My dad couldn’t decide if he wanted to be called ‘grandpa’ or ‘papa’ so he just told all of us to call him ‘Coach.’ He’s not a coach.” – @iPopEditor

15.

“My father went to the McDonalds drive thru and asked for a whopper. When they said ‘they didn’t have whoppers’, He just drove off without placing an order.” – @Marisa_Rosie22

16.

“One day we went out to eat at Pizza Hut and sat in front of an empty table with some pizza left on it. My dad, being the penny pincher he is, grabbed some and started eating it. A few minutes later the couple comes back from the bathroom asking ‘where’s our pizza?'” – @Alex_Erickson3

17.

“My dad let a bee land on his hand and watched it closely as it stung him because he ‘wanted to see the process up close.'” – @TrippyPsycholo1

18.

“My dad once tried to tell a lady she had a Big Bug on her, but accidentally told her she had a Really Big Butt. She was not amused.” – @Sallyjo25

19.

“My dad thinks it’s funny to introduce my mom as his ‘first wife’….my parents have been married for 58 years and are in their late 80’s.” – @annMcD87

20.

“My dad entered Canada by swimming across the Niagara from the US under the cover of night.” – @albertduic

This article originally appeared on 06.04.22

A common criticism gun rights activists levy toward gun legislation advocates is that many people who push for stricter gun laws don’t know a lot about guns themselves. That’s not wholly accurate—there are plenty of gun enthusiasts who support reasonable gun laws—but it’s true that many people who are horrified by our nation’s gun culture are not well-versed on the specifications of our nation’s 393 million guns.

Not every American is an active part of American “gun culture.” Some of us have never shot a firearm, for fun or otherwise. Some of us really are ignorant about guns themselves.

That can’t be said for anyone in the military, however. And it definitely can’t be said for a former Major General of the U.S. Army.

That’s why an explanation of the difference between an AR-15 and military-style firearms from retired Major General Paul Eaton has gone viral. Major General Eaton was the commander in charge of training Iraqi soldiers during Operation Iraqi Freedom, so he definitely knows what he’s talking about when it comes to weaponry.

He wrote:

“As the former Commanding General of the Infantry Center at Fort Benning and Chief of Infantry, I know a bit about weapons. Let me state unequivocally — For all intents and purposes, the AR-15 and rifles like it are weapons of war. A thread:

u201cThose opposed to assault weapon bans continue to play games with AR-15 semantics, pretending thereu2019s some meaningful differences between it and the M4 carbine that the military carries. There really arenu2019t. 2/u201d

— Major General (ret) Paul Eaton (@Major General (ret) Paul Eaton)
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Those opposed to assault weapon bans continue to play games with AR-15 semantics, pretending there’s some meaningful differences between it and the M4 carbine that the military carries. There really aren’t.

The military began a transition from the M16 to the M4, an improved M16, some years ago. The AR-15 is essentially the civilian version of the M16. The M4 is really close to the M16, and the AR-15.

So what’s the difference between the military’s M4 and the original AR-15? Barrel length and the ability to shoot three round bursts. M4s can shoot in three round bursts. AR-15s can only shoot a single shot.

But even now, you can buy AR-15s in variable barrel lengths with Weaver or Picatinny rails for better sights and aiming assists like lasers. Like the military, but w/o the bayonet.

But our troops usually use single shot, not burst fire. You’re able to fire a much more accurate (deadly) shot, that way. Note: you can buy our Advanced Combat Optical Gunsight on Amazon. So troops usually select the same fire option available on AR-15.

That is why the AR-15 is ACCURATELY CALLED a ‘weapon of war.’ It is a very deadly weapon with the same basic functionality that our troops use to kill the enemy. Don’t take the bait when anti-gun-safety folks argue about it. They know it’s true. Now you do too.”

Eaton is not the only former military leader who has spoken out in support of gun legislation. In 2019, a group of 13 influential retired military leaders wrote a letter to Congress, pushing it to pass the Bipartisan Background Check Act.

“Each of us has, at some point in our lives, made the choice to risk our lives for our fellow citizens and place ourselves in harm’s way,” they wrote. “We were trained, we were coached, and we were prepared for the dangers that we chose to face. This is not the case for most Americans, yet they continue to face danger on the sidewalk, in their homes, at school, and at work. It is in the same spirit that led us to serve in the armed forces that we ask you, our elected leaders, to help protect the American people from gun violence here at home. We urge you to support this legislation.”

Police leaders have also voiced strong support for gun legislation, which makes sense considering how much harder and more dangerous our free-for-all gun culture makes their jobs. The International Association of Chiefs of Police, the largest professional association of police leaders in the world, has a position paper that outlines the gun safety laws it supports, including firearm offender registration, waiting periods, closing the gun show loophole, banning semiautomatic assault weapons, armor-piercing ammunition, bulletproof body armor and more. The IACP states that these are “common sense policies that would assist in reducing gun violence, while upholding the second amendment.”

Yep, the largest police leader association supports banning semiautomatic assault weapons like the AR-15. Here’s what it has to say about that:

“First passed in 1994, the assault weapons ban required domestic gun manufacturers to stop production of semi-automatic assault weapons and ammunition magazines holding more than ten rounds except for military or police use. While the ban was in place, it was remarkably effective in reducing the number of crimes involving assault weapons. In the period of the ban, (1994-2004) the proportion of assault weapons traced to crimes fell by a dramatic 66 percent.”

If those who oppose gun legislation don’t want to listen to people who don’t know enough about guns to speak authoritatively on them, that’s fine. Perhaps they should listen to these military and police leaders who not only know guns inside and out, but who also have the firsthand experience on both sides of the barrel to speak authoritatively on what can help minimize America’s gun violence.

It hasn’t even been three months since SZA released SOS, and it’s already proven itself a commercial success.

The TDE singer’s long-awaited and critically acclaimed sophomore album debuted at No.1 on the Billboard 200 chart and has spent at least nine weeks atop the charts following its December release. The album was also certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) within weeks of its release. Additionally, the project helped the “Snooze” singer break the record for the US’s largest streaming week for an R&B album.

Recently, the singer’s album reached a major milestone on streaming giant Spotify with nearly 3 billion streams. This would be her second album to do so following her 2017 debut project, Ctrl.

“‘SOS’ by @SZA has reached 3 billion streams on Spotify. It’s her second album to achieve this,” Pop Crave reports.

https:/ twitter.com/PopCrave/status/1629681707203829760?s=20

To help promote the album (not that it’s necessary at this point), the singer kicked off her tour earlier this month, kicking off at The Jerome Schottenstein Center in Columbus, Ohio.

Joining her on the road as support is Grammy-nominated singer Omar Apollo. The tour is expected to go on until the end of March, with its final show at The Kia Forum in Los Angeles.

Omar Apollo is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Karol G’s flaming red hair must come with a set of music superpowers. The recording artist’s fourth set album, Mañana Será Bonito, which dropped on Friday (February 24), is already breaking records. Featuring guest appearances by Sean Pual, Romeo Santos, Quevedo, Justin Quiles, and more, to some, this news may serve as no surprise.

However, according to Pop Base, the singer’s latest album, Mañana Será Bonito, earned the biggest debut by a woman Spanish album in Spotify history.

During an interview with our very own Lucas Villa, Karol revealed that the album is the product of her recent emotional obstacles. “I had a very dark moment in my life where the only thing I could do was turn to my family and my friends,” she said before adding, “I understood after that life wanted to show me that what I should value the most is having my family and my friends by my side. That was a very hard and difficult process to go through. I was disappointed by what was happening to me. It was a blow in many ways to my personal life.”

Karol closed with, “I always have a phrase that I repeat to myself when things are going wrong: ‘It doesn’t matter. We’re going to get through this. Tomorrow will be another day. Tomorrow will be beautiful. Tomorrow is going to be great.’”

This isn’t the first time the singer broke records on Spotify, in fact, last year Karol G was the most streamed Latin woman artist revealed during the streaming giant’s Wrapped data release.

All in all, given how much of her personal life she’s poured into the project, Karol G is surely proud of this professional accomplishment.

Don Toliver is in major-label album mode right now. The “After Party” rapper’s Love Sick album, produced with hitmakers like Boi-1da and James Blake (with whom he also shares a song on the album called “Let Her Go”), has finally dropped. The project features guest appearances from some of music’s biggest acts— GloRillla, Lil Durk, Brent Faiyaz, and more. On Friday (February 24), the Cactus Jack artist released a visualizer for the track “Private Landing,” featuring Future and Justin Bieber.

“I don’t know why these h*es can’t stand me/I guess I’m too demanding,” he raps. “Wanna hit the double Coke, the candy (Candy)/I’m so high, no landing (Landing).”

In the visualizer, Toliver can be overheard rapping as a special package is being delivered in what seems to be the “Love Sick” restaurant. This fictional food joint serves as the inspiration behind the project. A beautiful woman is seen putting away stacks of cash, with two armored guards standing by while the chef is busy whipping up some food.

The 16-track album also features popular acts such as WizKid, Kali Uchis, Charlie Wilson, and more. The project is also accompanied by a short film titled Love Sick: The Short Film, released on Prime the same day as the album release.

Check out the visualizer above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Disgraced singer and songwriter R. Kelly received yet another hefty prison sentence earlier this week. On Thursday (February 23), Kelly was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for child pornography charges which will run concurrently with his 30-year sentence for sex trafficking and racketeering. Kelly’s former manager, Donnell Russell, was also sentenced to serve one year in prison for making a threat to shoot someone at a Lifetime screening of the Surviving R. Kelly documentary.

With it being such a sensitive topic, you’d think comedians wouldn’t attempt to tackle that even in a padded suit, but not SNL’s Coin Jost and Michael Che. During last night’s Weekend Update skit, the pair took it a step further, making the sentencing the butt of the joke in Che’s newly introduced segment, What Did They Even Do Wrong. The miniature skit aims to comedically define wrongdoings by public figures.

When the pair reached the pair discussed the recent sentencing of Harvey Weinstein and R. Kelly, Che, says, “I mean mainly they’re guilty of loving too much, right. A player’s gotta play,” before turning it to the audience for laughter, “Am I right, ladies?”

The YouTube comments were filled with viewers praising the new addition to the segment, writing, “OMG on Michael Che’s new segment – what did they even do wrong – too funny. Looking forward to them posting the whole Weekend Update in its entirety on Monday morning. Even funnier that way.”

However, on other social media sites, such as Twitter, users were not pleased by the joke. One user wrote, “When will they take Michael Che off Weekend Update? He’s not funny & neither was that Weinstein/R. Kelly ‘joke.’”

Watch the full skit above.

Nas’ New York state of mind stretches far beyond his native Queensbridge neighborhood. While the “One Mic, One Gun” rapper recently revealed that he’d love to collaborate with Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen during his appearance on The Late Show hosted by Stephen Colbert, his love for New York musicians runs deep.

As the mogul’s tour made a stop at Madison Square Garden on Friday (February 24), Nas took a moment during his set to pay homage to Trugoy The Dove (real name David Jolicoeur) of De La Soul. The Long Island native passed away early this month.

The sold-out crowd joined us as Nas played the opening verse on De La Soul’s hit single “Buddy” before proclaiming, “Make some noise for Trugoy, De La Soul. Rest in Poetry!”

When the news first broke of Trugoy’s death, Nas took to Instagram to share a touching note. In the now archived post, Nas wrote, “‘Trugoy The Dove. You showed us it’s ok to have fun, not sad or too too deep or fight the power, tho it was very much fight the power what u did so genuis. Thank you.’”

Nas isn’t the only figure in music to pay their respect to the late rap trailblazer. Quest Love, Busta Rhymes, Common, as well as Trugoy’s surviving groupmates Maseo And Posdnuos, also broke their silence with a heartfelt message on social media, writing, “You were the heart of our group. You brought so much creativity, energy, and passion to our music, and your influence will be felt for years to come.”

Last week brought some bad news: Succession’s forthcoming fourth season will be its last. On one hand, in an age of endless spinoffs and revivals, it’s good to be reminded that some things can just come to an end, before they slide into a sad decline. On the other, Succession is really freaking good and it will be sorely missed. Among the many people sad about the news is its creator, Jesse Armstrong. He’s even open to some kind of spinoff. Problem is, HBO brass is not.

In the same New Yorker interview in which Armstrong confirmed the show was ending (in a bit caught by The Guardian), he also lamented the idea. “I feel sad, and I have the circus-has-left-town feeling that everyone gets who works on a production that’s good, and this one particularly so,” he confessed. “I imagine I’ll be a little bit lonely, and wandering the streets of London in a funk.”

Still, while Armstrong admitted he “never thought this could go on forever,” he’s not against the idea of reviving it in some fashion, saying “there could be something else in an allied world, or allied characters, or some of the same characters.” He added, “Maybe there’s another part of this world we could come back to, if there was an appetite?”

Problem is, should Armstrong one day wish to follow through on this idea, whatever form it should take, he may have to convince the powers that be. When asked by Variety if Succession could get some spinoff, HBO and HBO Max content CEO Clay Bloys wasn’t optimistic.

“I don’t think so,” Bloys responded. He did add, “I always say ‘never say never.’” However, he remained practical. “It doesn’t seem to me that there’s something in Succession where you would go, ‘Let’s follow just this kid’ or whatever. It doesn’t seem like a natural thing to me.”

That being said, Bloys added, if [Armstrong] said I want to do this, then I would follow Jesse’s lead.”

So there you go! There may or may not one day be more Succession in some form. Who’s to say. In the meantime, the fourth season debuts on March 26 on HBO.

(Via New Yorker, Variety, and The Guardian)

In 2021, Doja Cat released her third studio album, Planet Her. The album, which centers on the fictional planet that the “Say So” hitmaker created, not only launched her into pop superstardom but earned several chart-topping hits. It’s been nearly two years since its release, and now, Planet Her has surpassed six billion streams on Spotify, making it the most streamed album by a female rapper in the streaming platform’s history.

“‘Planet Her’ by Doja Cat has surpassed 6 BILLION streams on Spotify. It is the most streamed album by a female rapper in history,” Pop Base reports.

The album featured guest appearances from some of music’s biggest acts —Young Thug, Ariana Grande, The Weeknd, and SZA — showcasing her growth as an artist. Doja was no longer the “Mooo!” girl known for her quick-witted internet humor. Instead, she was a certified hitmaker. The project even helped the rapping songstress nab a Grammy nomination for Best Album at the 64th Grammy Awards.

While she didn’t walk away with the top award that night, she still got the Grammy for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for her mega-pop hit “Kiss Me More,” featuring SZA.

Regarding new music, what Doja Cat has under her sleeve is unclear. She noted that the album could be influenced by rap or maybe even “rave culture.” Most recently, she’s said she wants to take a more “masculine direction” with the album.

Either way, Doja has proved herself as more than a meme star, and the world will be waiting with its ear to the ground for her next project and whatever direction she takes it.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Woody Harrelson hosted SNL for the fifth time on Saturday night, which puts him in the august company of the “Five Timer’s Club.” Good for him! He celebrated the milestone with a rambling monologue that went on for over six minutes. For the most part it was affably meandering. He even started telling a story before taking numerous detours, returning to it only at the end — at which point it was revealed he seemed to be telling a weird anti-vax joke.

Harrelson began by addressing how divided America has become. Calling himself a “redneck hippie,” he said, “You know, the red in me thinks you should be allowed to own guns. The blue in me thinks – squirt guns. So, I’m red and blue which makes purple. I’m purple.”

He talked about his famous weed habit, as well as how he didn’t drink for seven months (then enjoying it again for “five glorious months”).

Harrelson eventually settled on a story about a script he’d read after hosting the show in November of 2019. What was it about?

“The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes, and people can only come out if they take the cartels’ drugs, and keep taking them over and over,” he explained. “I threw the script away. I mean, who is going to believe that crazy idea?”

No one laughed at that, but they did at his second punchline: “Being forced to do drugs? I do that voluntarily all day long.”

So is Harrelson anti-vax? Was he just joshing? He’s a pretty kooky guy, so it’s a little hard to tell, although the anti-vax contingent on social media quickly turned him into a hero. Others may have forgiven him by the time he got to a pretty funny send-up of Brendan Fraser’s movie The Whale.