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How do you fairly blind taste test fast food double cheeseburgers? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself ever since my editor first tasked me with what he considered to be a great idea. He’s not entirely wrong, by the way [rarely is, tbh. -ed] — blind taste testing fast food cheeseburgers is an interesting experiment. In theory. But the logistics of how to get it done while still being as comprehensive as our original double cheeseburger ranking from two years ago just don’t check out.

So over the past months, I have steadily ignored him on this matter, hoping the assignment would go away. It hasn’t.

That original ranking consisted of 15 different double cheeseburgers and took weeks to put together. A blind taste test has to all happen at the same moment, so doing 15 is straight-up impossible. Sure, we could round up all the cheeseburgers in question but they’re all going to be cold and if you’ve ever eaten fast food you’ll know that time is the enemy of flavor. Especially when it comes to burgers.

Luckily, an opportunity revealed itself. Along Pacific Coast Highway in Long Beach California there is a Five Guys, In-N-Out, and Shake Shack all within a half-mile radius of one another. So while I can’t round up all 15, I can at the very least do our current top three while still being able to enjoy them in optimal conditions.

In our 2021 piece, the double cheeseburgers were ranked as follows:

3. Five Guys
2. Shake Shack
1. In-N-Out

So without further ado, here are our top three favorite double cheeseburgers, blind taste tested and re-ranked.

• The Single Best Cheeseburger From All The Big Fast Food Chains (Hacks Included!)
• We Blind Tested Ketchup Brands On Fries And Hot Dogs And Picked The #1 Best
• We Blind Tested Every Mayo On The Market To Find The #1 Best
• The #1 Most Boneheaded Error Made By 16 Major Fast Food Chains
• The 20 Most Popular Hot Sauces In America, Blind Tasted And Ranked

PART I — Methodology

For this blind taste test to be as fair as possible, I needed each burger to have the same build: double meat, double cheese, lettuce, tomato, and onions. All burger sauces were ordered on the side (I’m aware the proper sauces aren’t in front of their respective burgers in the above photo, which was remedied during the tasting) so that the burgers wouldn’t become soggy in transit. I also needed them to be ordered at the same exact time and arrive to me within minutes of each other, so I asked two friends to meet me in separate cars at a parking structure in Long Beach and tasked each with picking up a burger (I picked up the burger from Shake Shack).

They were confused and had all sorts of questions. But once I offered to buy them each a burger, the questions stopped.

I placed three identical orders at In-N-Out, Shake Shack, and Five Guys at the same exact time and dispatched the team for the pickup. When the burgers arrived I wore a blindfold, knowing I’d be able to recognize which burger was which by sight alone (even without their wrappers), had my friends unwrap the burgers, cut them in half, taste tested all three, took notes, and then photographed the remaining halves once the tasting was done.

Sure, maybe this was a lot of trouble for a fast food blind taste test– but I take my job seriously dammit!

PART II — The Tasting

Taste 1:

Melt in your mouth good! What a way to start a tasting!

Everything about this burger just works. The beef has this wonderful depth of flavor, it’s meaty and savory, with a noticeable crisp and crunch to it and a salty component courtesy of the cheese. The tomatoes offer a burst of flavor that compliments and accentuates the savory qualities of the beef with a nice balance of onion that doesn’t overpower. I can’t really taste the lettuce all too well but it does add to the mouthfeel.

With a dollop of the sauce, I’m getting a nice sense of tangy complexity. The bun is soft, airy, and subtly sweet.

Taste 2:

Really dry compared to Taste 1, the onion massively overpowers the tomato and the lettuce has a watery flavor that I find off-putting. The beef is good but isn’t quite as complex as Tasting 1 with a much drier texture. I’m getting a lot more meat here though, it’s almost laborious to chew through. This one is definitely thicker than Tasting 1, too. Not sure you need a double from this place because the ratio of meat to bread weighs heavily on the meat side.

The bread isn’t anything to write home about, it’s dense, dry, and flavorless. With a dollop of sauce, I’m getting a more savory bite but it tastes like straight mayo.

Taste 3:

A step up from Taste 2… but not by much. The beef patties are considerably thin here but the ratio of meat to cheese offers a nice balance. It feels gooey on the palate with a pronounced salty flavor. The onions are a bit sharp, but the tomato and lettuce are juicy and refreshing. Of all the burgers, the tomato and lettuce are best represented here. The bun is way over-toasted though. It has a hard, toast-like texture to it.

The sauce makes all the difference, it makes the whole thing much more palatable but still not quite as good as Taste 1. Where Taste 1 had a depth and complexity to its meat, this one just tastes like salty beef.

Part 2: The Ranking

3. Five Guys

Five Guys retains its bronze medal! The beef was just too dry here to really wow me and the sesame seed bun was easily the least flavorful of the bunch. The mayo also couldn’t compare to Five Guys and Shake Shack’s house-made burger sauces, but that’s the problem with Five Guys, it’s not fair to consider the chain a regular burger spot. Five Guys is at its best when you add things like grilled jalapenos, bacon, A1 sauce, and any other creative topping you’d like to the mix. With the strict parameters of this particular build, it never had a chance so it doesn’t surprise me it came in third.

If this was a bacon cheeseburger blind taste test, this might’ve clinched the top spot.

The Bottom Line:

Five Guys is delicious, but when it comes to a classic universal burger build, it just can’t compete with In-N-Out and Five Guys.

Find your nearest Five Guys here.

2. In-N-Out

This took me a little bit by surprise. In-N-Out was my top burger on our 2021 ranking and although a lot of people sounded off in the comments that it won because as a Southern Californian, I have some sort of bias towards In-N-Out, I still stood by my choice and still think that, for the price, this is the best fast food double cheeseburger you can buy. But that’s the thing, for the price.

I can’t deny our number one choice, even if it is almost twice as expensive. In-N-Out is great, and while its greatness doesn’t always translate to people who come from other states hearing stories of this burger chain serving the best burgers, only to have their expectations not met, that doesn’t mean In-N-Out doesn’t make a truly delicious burger. There is a reason it has the reputation it has in the first place.

The Bottom Line:

Consider the crown stolen. In-N-Out makes a great burger, but it doesn’t compare to today’s number 1.

Find your nearest In-N-Out here.

1. Shake Shack

Without question, Shake Shack makes the best fast food double cheeseburger, period. Done.

You can actually taste that Maillard crust, it adds a whole new sensation to the mouthfeel of this burger and locks in the juices of the beef so that they explode across your palate once you bite into this baby. Everything single component of this burger is expertly sourced, nothing comes across as superfluous, the tomatoes are vibrant and juicy, the sliced onions add complexity without overpowering, the bun is a work of art, the cheese is perfectly melted, salty, and creamy, each bite is perfection.

Right now Gavin Newsom is trying to revoke my California citizenship but I have to call it like I see, er, taste it, and Shake Shack’s burger is simply the best.

The Bottom Line:

Our new champ, Shake Shack easily makes the best fast food double cheeseburger in the game.

Find your nearest Shake Shack here.

Recess is one of the most coveted times of day for elementary school students. It’s a time when they get to run, climb and talk as loud as they like to get all of their sillies out before heading back into the classroom. But several students at Glen Lake Elementary School in Hopkins, Minnesota, noticed not everyone was getting a chance to play.

The school has multiple students that have physical disabilities that keep them from being able to play on the available playground equipment. Because the equipment isn’t wheelchair accessible, the children who use wheels to get around have to sit on the sidelines and watch their classmates play.

This reality didn’t sit right for the other students at Glen Lake. They asked their teacher, Betsy Julien, how they could make it so the other kids got a chance to play alongside them during recess. When they learned that new, more accessible equipment would cost $300,000, the kids didn’t let it deter them. They committed to raising the funds however they could, and got to work with the help of their teacher.

The kids started collecting spare change, holding bake sales and even cold calling businesses in an effort to raise the money for the adaptive playground equipment. For months, the students worked to raise the money and they recently reached their goal with the help of the community. Rhys Riley, a student from Julien’s class, told CBS News through tears, “I was just really happy that we made it.”

One of the students who would get to use the new playground equipment told CBS, “First time I set foot on this playground, I’m probably going to start crying from seeing the effort all the school has made.”

Now that the goal has been reached, these kiddos aren’t stopping. They’re focusing on raising enough money to get adaptive playground equipment for other schools in the district so no kid has to sit out during recess. The empathy and determination of these kids is absolutely inspiring.

Watch the interview below, but be prepared—you’re going to need tissues.

Michael B. Jordan is getting another stab at the Tom Clancy universe. After Without Remorse saw its theatrical release get ported over to Amazon during the pandemic, the film didn’t exactly light up the charts with stellar reviews. However, Paramount is willing to give Jordan another chance to reprise his role of CIA operative John Clark in a sequel that’s already packing some serious power behind the camera.

John Wick director Chad Stahelski will helm Rainbow Six, an adaptation of one of Clancy’s more popular titles that became a fan-favorite title in the world of gaming. Via The Hollywood Reporter:

Jordan will once again be playing Navy SEAL-turned-CIA operative John Clark, one of Clancy’s more popular characters, who appeared in the late author’s Jack Ryan spy books. Clark also headlined two novels, Without Remorse and Rainbow Six, with the latter spawning a line of video games.

It should be noted that Rainbow Six was always part of the plan when Jordan was announced in the John Clark role all the way back in 2018. Paramount is apparently committed to seeing that plan through and willing to chalk up Without Remorse‘s lackluster debut as a victim of COVID. Also, bringing in the John Wick guy certainly can’t hurt. Stahelski is an incredible get for a franchise that nobody thought was still happening. Not to mention, Jordan is most likely looking at another major boost to his star power when Creed III hits later this year.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

The Cincinnati Bengals were in a whole lot of trouble in their Wild Card game against the Baltimore Ravens. While Baltimore went into the game without Lamar Jackson at quarterback, Tyler Huntley got the Ravens down to the doorstep with a chance to make it 24-17 early in the fourth quarter. Huntley tried to sneak it in, but instead of going low and through Cincinnati’s defense, Baltimore’s QB attempted to jump over the line and had the ball poked out of his hands.

Bengals defensive lineman Sam Hubbard managed to scoop it up, head 98 yards in the opposite direction, and scored what ended up being the game-winning touchdown. It was one of the best moments of the weekend, and it became slightly better when the Bengals’ communications folks posted the following on Twitter:

On Tuesday, the team released the video of Hubbard taking off and making the biggest play of his career. While there was no audio of Hubbard while he was running, the aftermath of the play was pretty spectacular.

Hubbard saying he was terrified of getting caught is, of course, very funny, but in the moment, Ravens tight end Mark Andrews really was booking it in an effort to chase him down. He was ultimately unsuccessful, and as a result, the Bengals have a showdown with the Buffalo Bills this weekend with a spot in the AFC Championship Game on the line.

Today, Madonna announced The Celebration Tour, a trek that will see Madonna playing hits from across her four-decade career. Madonna, ever the shock-friendly performer, unveiled the news with a wild new video featuring Jack Black, Lil Wayne, Diplo, Judd Apatow, Eric Andre, Amy Schumer, Bob The Drag Queen, Kate Berlant, Larry Owens, and Meg Stalter.

The five-minute clip features a truth-or-dare game between the celebrities as they sit around a table. Madonna kicks things off by daring Schumer to simulate how she would lick her husband’s butt, which she does by not doing it. Andre then dared Diplo to dip his balls in his margarita and drink it, and he obliged. Diplo then turned the tables back on Madonna, who he instructed to “tongue-kiss” Black, and indeed, she did just that.

There are some more shenanigans from there — including Madonna, Wayne, and Black posing for a racy photo — but the whole thing ends with one final dare, from Schumer to Madonna: to go on a world tour. Of course, given the purpose of the video, Madonna accepted.

In a statement, Madonna said of the upcoming trek, “I am excited to explore as many songs as possible in hopes to give my fans the show they have been waiting for.”

Check out the video above and find the tour dates here.

Madonna is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Sometimes a news story comes along that is so layered and multifaceted that it requires an expert to sort through it all and explain it to the people. The 2008 financial crisis was like this, with all of its various stock and investment terminologies that only made sense to people familiar with the world of finance. Same with the various political and election-based controversies of the past few years, where it helps to have an actual Constitutional scholar on hand to separate fact from fiction. This next thing is… okay, actually it’s not like those other things. It’s pretty straightforward if I’m being honest about it. But it does allow me to say and type things like “Michael Bay may or may not be at the center of an international incident involving a dead Italian pigeon,” so I am going to explain it all anyway. This one is really more for me than it is for any of you.

Anyway, here are some of the things we have already in this story, all of which I will be covering below. I think you can see why I am so excited.

• A dead pigeon on the set of the Netflix movie 6 Underground
• Famed action film director Michael Bay
• The Italian courts and possibly the European Union getting involved
• Claims of defamation and slander
• An Italian lawyer named Fabrizio Sigma

It’s beautiful. I could not possibly ask for more. But I will get more. You really need to stick around to the end of this. There’s a pretty incredible twist coming. But let’s start at the top…

What is happening here?

Okay, last week The Wrap published an article titled “Michael Bay Fights Charges in Italy Over Killing a Pigeon, Denies Allegations,” which I clicked on so fast I almost knocked over a glass of iced tea. The short version goes like this: Back in 2018, on the set of 6 Underground, a pigeon may or may not have perished as a result of various crew members moving heavy machinery around. The longer version goes like this:

According to an insider with knowledge of the production, a homing pigeon was allegedly killed by a dolly in the middle of a take in Rome. An unnamed individual who happened to be on set apparently witnessed the incident, took a picture and reported it to Italian authorities, the insider added. A second individual with knowledge of the shoot said the scene involved a large group of pigeons and a wind machine.

As the person in charge of the shoot, Bay was charged with failing to supervise the crew members responsible for handling the animals, according to his Italian lawyer, Fabrizio Sigma.

Lots to digest here, starting with the thing where some unnamed person allegedly stumbled across a Michael Bay film set, saw a dead bird, snapped a picture, and then called the police. That is already fascinating to me. I need to know more about this person at once. I need them interviewed on-camera for the 8-part McMillions style docuseries I need someone to make about this. Call Agent Doug. Get him on the case.

Also of note: Michael Bay has an Italian lawyer named Fabrizio Sigma. This is… wonderful. I refuse to Google this man. The image in my head is too perfect to ruin. I picture him in a stunning white suit with a fancy hat. Do not take this from me.

Okay, but how serious can all of this be if it’s just over one pigeon?

Oh ho ho, my friend. Pretty serious! Apparently!

Pigeons are a protected species in Italy. Italy has a national law that makes it illegal to harm, kill or capture any wild bird, including pigeons. Pigeons are also protected in the E.U. under the Birds Directive.

This is why you call in Fabrizio Sigma.

Would you watch a Michael Bay movie titled The Birds Directive?

Buddy, you know I would.

What is Michael Bay saying about all of this?

A lot! Starting with this quote in which he denies killing the pigeon and reveals — in an extremely on-brand and aggressive addition — that Michael Bay is the kind of guy who would rather risk an international incident and public relations crisis than pay a small fine to make something go away.

“I was offered by the Italian authorities a chance to settle this matter by paying a small fine, but I declined to do so because I would not plead guilty to having harmed an animal,” Bay added.

Two things are worth noting here:

• Michael Bay is a man of principle
• In a 2011 GQ oral history about working with and/or being Michael Bay, Michael Bay gave the following quote about his directorial prices: “I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”

That second thing isn’t, like, super relevant here but I just really wanted to remind you about it.

Be honest, you are loving this a little bit right now?

I mean…

Yes.

So… that’s about the end of the story then?

Nope!

Turns out Michael Bay is not only a “loudly fight charges instead of making them go away with a small fine” guy, he’s also a “send off a legal letter demanding a correction or retraction of the pigeon murder story.” Variety obtained a letter his team sent to The Wrap after that story was published and… yeah. Michael Bay is not happy about any of this. He’s very unhappy.

Now, in a legal letter, Bay’s attorney writes that the filmmaker was “never accused, much less ‘charged,’ with ‘killing’ an animal.” Rosengart writes that ahead of publishing the story, TheWrap was made aware of “video evidence rebutting these allegations and demonstrating that at no time was any animal harmed, let alone ‘killed.’”

This is one of those situations where two things appear to be true at once. The first thing is that I have no clue if a pigeon died on the Italian set of the Netflix movie 6 Underground. I was not there and have not seen the evidence in either direction and do not especially want Michael Bay’s legal team to send me a letter about any of it. Let me be very clear about all of that.

The second thing is that I kind of want Ryan Murphy to sink his teeth into an entire season of American Crime Story about this, complete with Bobby Cannavale as Fabrizio Sigma and Nicolas Cage as Michael Bay, like… oh let’s say Justin Long or maybe Aubrey Plaza as a journalist who is sinking his or her teeth into the story.

I am available to play myself in this.

Your story is particularly harmful and malicious because, contrary to its implications, Michael Bay is an animal rights activist; he passionately loves animals, as his track record shows. As a result of your story, however, his name is now associated with “killing” or “murdering” an animal, connoting intent. He is therefore being unfairly maligned and attacked. Indeed, there are now numerous articles and countless social media images associating Mr. Bay with “killing” or “murder,” which have gone around the world.

Uh…

[looks at the headline of this very article]

… whoops?

Sorry!

Is there any way we can work elephants into this somehow?

Surprisingly, yes! Also from the statement Variety got their hands on:

Your story is therefore extremely damaging to Mr. Bay personally and professionally (he has publicly discussed his love of animals and his desire to make a film about saving African elephants, another fact of which you had prior notice but ignored) and has tarnished his reputation as someone who fiercely supports animals, financially and otherwise, causing him extreme anguish.

Okay, I know that this movie they are talking about is probably a documentary or some sort of serious grown-up drama about the plight of the mighty elephant, which is fine, but…

What if it’s a regular Michael Bay action movie?

Like Bad Boys or Ambulance…

With explosions and gun fights and car chases and every cliche you’ve ever seen in your standard Michael Bay action movie…

But it’s about saving elephants.

Maybe one of the elephants has a rocket launcher in its trunk.

What if that’s the movie he’s discussing here?

Because we can’t rule that out either.

Think about this one a little or a lot over the next few days or months or for the rest of your life.

Is there some small chance that the pigeon in question faked its own death in an attempt to frame Michael Bay or maybe to escape suspicion on its own ongoing criminal case involving millions of dollars of stolen art and is now living under an assumed name on some tropical island?

I am pleased to report that there is, based on this single sentence from the original report.

But it’s not entirely clear whether a pigeon perished, or not.

What an incredible twist.

Wouldn’t this be a great plot for that movie titled The Birds Directive that we were joking about earlier?

Hmm.

Yes.

Let’s start production immediately. Or at least after the docuseries and Ryan Murphy show and elephant movie.

But hurry.

Please.

For me.

It’s not often when the third movie is the best movie in a trilogy. I spent 10 minutes trying to think of an example, and the finest I could come with is The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Or maybe A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. The point is, trilogy cappers are tough, but Mia Goth believes MaXXXine, the third installment of Ti West’s X trilogy after X and Pearl, will be more The Godfather Part II than The Godfather Part III.

“It’s the best script of the three by far. It’s going be the best movie of the three,” the actress told Variety when asked if there’s anything she could tease about the Los Angeles in the 1980s-set film. “We’re all so tight now. This is going to be our third movie we’re working on together and everyone’s coming back together, so it’s bringing the band all back together again… We know how everybody works and we’re all so excited.”

Goth (who deserves an Oscar nomination for her performance in Pearl) called MaXXXine the “biggest story of the three with the highest stakes and Maxine has gone through so much at this point. So when we find her in this new world, she’s just a force to be reckoned with and she goes through some pretty wild adventures.” Wilder than feeding a corpse to an alligator and having sex with a scarecrow? Look out, LA!

MaXXXine does not currently have a release date.

(Via Variety)

The UConn Huskies are 15-2, sit fifth in the latest AP Top-25 poll, and are just getting going as injury issues have caused head coach Geno Auriemma to get creative with rotations in the first half of the season. The Huskies are without star Paige Bueckers for the season, starting center Dorka Juhasz has only played 10 games, and key reserve Caroline Ducharme has missed time, as well. Star guard Azzi Fudd has been likewise in and out of the lineup with injury, but when she’s been healthy, it’s undeniable that the Huskies have been at their best.

Missed time has quieted Fudd’s case for National Player of the Year (it was screaming at us pre-injury), but her return to the court has brought the same verve and tenacity — Fudd’s early exit from the Huskies’ recent game against Georgetown was deemed to not be serious and was precautionary according to Auriemma.

Putting Fudd’s season into context gives an illuminating image of how incredible of a season she’s having. When filtering her season through Her Hoops Stats’ database for usage (24 percent usage or higher), field goal attempts (10 or more per game), and scoring efficiency (1.3 points per scoring attempt or greater), Fudd is the only player among the eight to hit those benchmarks this season who is not a frontcourt player, shorter than 6’1, and the only high-volume three point shooter in the group.

Fudd’s efficiency as a high-volume lead guard is part of what makes her stand out, but it’s also how she gets her buckets that separates her from other prospects. She’s not the typical spread pick-and-roll high volume guard, quite the opposite. While UConn has high level guards who can operate out of ball screens, they mainly operate out of the high post, as the aforementioned Juhasz and Aaliyah Edwards are versatile bigs who can both step outside and put the ball on the floor. By inverting their spacing to operate outside-in, they open up cutting lanes and opportunities to take advantage with intuitive movement.

UConn will often operate out of a horns set, which is shown above before the action starts. Notice how St. John’s is guarding Fudd, denying any opportunity for her to receive the ball. As a built-in part of UConn’s offense, they take advantage of this, utilizing Fudd to set a back screen for Edwards. Juhasz then goes into an empty corner two player game with Nika Muhl and it’s an easy basket with the back cut out of the slot.

Fudd’s gravity in this play sets the table. Where does that gravity come from? Her blend of shooting, movement, and court vision. Fudd is shooting 43.4 percent from deep on 5.9 attempts from deep. When considering the difficulty and variety of her looks, it’s astounding.

She’s seemingly always on balance as a shooter. Her rhythm and shot preparation is rarely bothered. Fudd’s release looks the exact same every single time, the mark of a great shooter; it’s snappy, it’s quick, and the energy transfer from her lower body through her arms is seamless. She often gets her shot off from reception of the pass to out of her hands in less than a second.

The shot itself matters greatly to what Fudd does, but it’s that timing aspect that sticks out routinely.

Fudd bends the corners of the game and creates windows few players have access to because of her quickness. You’d be remiss to call Fudd fast; she likely wouldn’t light it up in a 40-yard dash against her teammates or opposition. But, in watching her, you can’t help but notice the swiftness and quickness with which she plays.

She processes the court, defenders, and her own gravity at the highest level, a supreme awareness and court-mapping. In an offense that’s predominantly read and react, Fudd thrives by reading the game faster than just about anyone. She creates separation with her decision-making and extremely fluid ability to change directions. She doesn’t necessarily blow defenders away with acceleration or burst, but she gains routine advantages with how her transmission hums. Fudd is constantly moving in multiple planes of motion, and moving with a purpose.

Everything in this play is about reading the court, reading defenders, and changing direction fluidly. This basket and opening is created by Fudd’s fluidity in combination with UConn’s scheme and versatile post-hubs. Her counter to pressure and adjusting coverages; movement, relocation, and moving the ball.

Watch this play and note how UConn works to empty out the weak side (before the ball is there) and isolating a big.

Fudd’s back-and-forth movement keeps the St. John’s defenders on their back foot and a step behind. Enter Edwards, who steps up for a screen right as Fudd receives the ball. Every single defender has their eyes on Fudd as she catches the ball. The big defending Edwards steps up to deter a shot and Fudd automatically is reacting and lofting a well-placed lob to the now rolling Edwards, who is fouled and Fudd deserves an assist for the ensuing free throws.

The threat of Fudd’s shooting and movement creates chaos for defenses, as UConn routinely deploys her as a screener to bring added confusion for help defenders. Her versatility is borne out of her effectiveness and she unlocks a level of offense that few teams in basketball can envision. This kind of efficiency from a shooting guard/wing is just uncommon, and, oh hey, the shot chart is just about the same last season.

As UConn looks to build off of last season’s national championship game appearance and runner-up finish, Azzi Fudd’s health and availability is key. While she is still a few seasons away from pro eligibility, Fudd is one of the brightest young stars in the sport. Basketball is better with Fudd healthy and playing, and hopefully for UConn and basketball fans as a whole, she’ll stay healthy and have a chance to shine on the biggest stage in March.

Indie music has grown to include so much. It’s not just music that is released on independent labels but speaks to an aesthetic that deviates from the norm and follows its own weirdo heart. It can come in the form of rock music, pop, or folk. In a sense, it says as much about the people that are drawn to it as it does about the people that make it.

Every week, Uproxx is rounding up the best new indie music from the past seven days. This week we got new music from Neutral Milk Hotel, M83, Tennis, Paramore, and more.

While we’re at it, sign up for our newsletter to get the best new indie music delivered directly to your inbox, every Monday.

Paramore — “C’est Comme Ça”

On, “C’est Comme Ça,” Hayley Williams’ has a radiant, Dry Cleaning-esque wit that aligns with the previous singles: “I’m off caffeine on doctor’s orders / Said it was gonna help to level out my hormones / Lucky for me I run on spite and sweet revenge / It’s my dependence on the friction that really hinders my progression,” she deadpans to infectious guitars.

Neutral Milk Hotel — “Little Birds”

2023 has already done the impossible: It’s given us a new Neutral Milk Hotel song, the first since the 1998 release of the iconic In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. This track is a part of a new career-spanning box set, and it possesses the haunting charm of the band, with Jeff Mangum’s scratchy vocals and eerie lyrics.

US Girls — “Futures Bet”

US Girls are coming back with a new album called Bless This Mess, and “Futures Bet” is a compelling, pulsating preview with hypnotic vocals and a sticky melody: “When nothing is wrong / Everything is fine / This is just life, this is just life,” she sings in the chorus.

M83 — “Oceans Niagara”

“Oceans Niagara” by M83 is a sparkling, immersive return that immediately hooks the listener into its world. It’s atmospheric and colossal, only getting bigger as the song moves forward. It comes from their forthcoming record aptly titled Fantasy, and it’s sure to be an enticing listen-through.

Fenne Lily — “Lights Light Up”

Fenne Lily’s new song “Lights Light Up” is a twangy earworm that’s warm and soothing like a hot bath. Her vocals are clean and delicate against calm chords; it’s a stunning ballad, and it’s a great preview of her forthcoming LP Big Picture, which is definitely going to be an emotional experience.

Tennis — “Let’s Make A Mistake Tonight”

Tennis is prepping to unveil their new album Pollen next month to follow up 2020’s stunning Swimmer. “Let’s Make A Mistake Tonight” is a great dose of their memorable, glittering sound that’s heavily influenced by the ’70s. “I can feel it in my body / Hand on the wheel / Hand on my thigh / Closing our eyes / Let’s make a mistake tonight,” Alaina Moore sings entrancingly.

Pierce The Veil — “Even When I’m Not With You”

Pierce The Veil’s forthcoming record The Jaws Of Life is looking like an alt-rock adventure so far. “Even When I’m Not With You” is the newest single, and it’s a fuzzed-out, sprawling song that moves at a surprisingly slow pace yet it hits as hard as the other tracks.

@ — “Where’d You Put Me”

Yes, their band name is @. And their music is as weird as you’d expect. “Where’d You Put Me” is a hallucinogenic, quirky track that seems to reach for transcendence. It’s only a little over a minute but every second is a miniature adventure.

Xiu Xiu — “Maybae Baeby”

“Maybae Baeby” by Xiu Xiu is an all-encompassing, trippy ride that feels like a movie. “In ‘Maybae Baeby,’ the singer’s viewpoint is of a young person hiding in a fantastical conversation with a tarantula in order to escape a physically abusive parent,” bandleader Jamie Stewart explained. The song has that rough, dissociative texture, putting the listener into the headspace of the character.

Vagabon — “Carpenter”

Vagabon has finally returned with her first music in three years. She’s coming back strong; “Carpenter” is a jittery anthem bursting with energy and life. Reflecting on growth, she sings refreshingly: “I wasn’t ready to hear you out / I wasn’t ready to move on out / I wasn’t ready for what you were saying / But I’m all ready now.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

At long last, Lil Yachty has finally shared the release date for his long-anticipated fifth studio album. Today, the “Poland” rapper revealed that his new album, called Let’s Start Here will release later this month.

Yachty announced the news today via posts on his social media accounts.

“Thank You for the patience,” he said in an Instagram caption with the album’s artwork. The seemingly AI-generated artwork features several people in a Congress-like setting, with their faces distorted.

He shared a similar post on Twitter, but shortly after, shared a follow-up post, saying, “I have so many things to say.”

Last month, a project of Yachty’s called Sonic Ranch leaked to the internet in full. He didn’t directly address the leak, however, he had taken to Twitter shortly after to express his sadness by way of a frowning emoji.

Earlier this month, he announced via since-deleted Instagram and Twitter posts that he was holding tryouts for an all-women band, though it was unclear whether this was for an upcoming album, or for a tour.

This time last year, Yachty spoke to Icebox and revealed he wants to take a new approach to his creative process.

“I’ve changed my dynamic,” he said. “I’m telling you, this album and on, I’m creating music a whole lot differently.”

Let’s Start Here is out 1/27 via Quality Control/Motown.