For some, life’s starting to feel ominous, like that scene in The Menu where they lay out the tarp for “The Mess.” It also feels like that infamous moment in The Matrix when Morpheus offers the blue pill or the red pill. Those that have taken the red pill might know what I’m talking about — Chat GPT and the dawn of AI.

The smartest and soon-to-be most powerful technological entity ever to exist, right here in its infant stage, is available to everyone. With full access to humanity’s lexicon of knowledge before 2021, it’s able to summarize, elaborate, brainstorm, optimize, plan, code, and perform virtually any task that requires text. So naturally, what happens when humans have access to an all-mighty, versatile, obedient supercomputer assistant?

They test it by asking absurd questions. What they didn’t expect was to get funny and accurate answers generated in five seconds.

If you haven’t tried it out, definitely tinker around while it’s still free. From the launch of Chat GPT, version 3, on November 30th, millions have signed up and have taken to Twitter to show off some comically amusing answers they’ve gotten. This chatbot is what one might call, a “Jack of all trades, master of all.” Here are ten hilarious answers that prove it.

1. Scientific MC (The Quantum Fate – FT. Chat GPT)

“Don’t be scared little homie.”

2. Deep AF Poet (Sinking Ego)

“A castle of sand that the tide will bring.” Damn…

3. Suspicious Wizard Consultant

“It’s important to not blindly follow advice, even if they are a wizard.”

4. GOAT Love Guru

“I promise to always be loyal, honest, and supportive.” Works every time.

5. A Model Student

“Whether it was volunteering at the soup kitchen or simply lending a listening ear” – Accepted

6. Political Philosopher (The Bounce House Theory)

“This would make the voting process much more exciting.” Genius way to get everyone voting.

7. LinkedIn Influencer

“As a LinkedIn influencer, it’s important for me to set an example.”

8. Rising Screenwriter

“That’s not good enough Morty.”

9. Social Climber

“Have you tried that new farm-to-table restaurant?” Pretty sure Chat helped write “The Menu.”

10. Biased Activist

As you can see by the last post, while Chat GPT is quite brilliant, it’s still got some tweaks to work out, such as being a two-faced gas lighter. But remember, this is only the beginning. If you haven’t checked out this new technology, get on it, and take the pill. This is here to stay and things are about to get nuts.

On December 21, 2012, as the sun disappeared one last time to end the Mayan calendar, many feared we had reached the end of life on earth. Well, that didn’t happen. Instead, it inspired the inception of one of the world’s most acclaimed and transformative parties, Day Zero.

And on January 9th 2023, the enchanting jungles of Tulum were once again alive with some of the most hardcore partiers and artists on the planet. Day Zero founder, Damien Lazarus, chose the Yucatan Forest as the perfect stage to kick off the twenty-year anniversary of his always evolving, genre-defying label, “Crosstown Rebels.” Looking at the photos below, it’s no wonder why one of house and techno’s most prolific outfits arranged things this way.

The festival tapped into a unique usage of production and performance — splicing together ancient Mayan mythos with contemporary music. Authentic cultural performances with costumes and fire paired with lights bursting through the tree canopies offered Lazarus’ entourage of forward-thinking artists an incredible opportunity to send their audience off into another dimension of sonic experience. The fact that the lineup featured the likes of Sidartha Siliceo & Gajda, Paradise and Hot Creations founder Jamie Jones, desert house duo Bedouin, global trio Major Lazer Sound System, Joseph Capriati, and NYC house veteran Danny Tenaglia certainly helped too.

The extravaganza concluded with a performance from Damien Lazarus himself to signal the start of his label’s new endeavors. It was all smiles and the perfect place to strut some memorable fashion while howling and chirping through the night. A great balance of environmental sustainability and unrestrained excitement made this musical experience truly something memorable. This is one you really need to see firsthand to fathom, although these photos below certainly strive to do it justice.

January is a slower month for bourbon releases. Still, there are two drops that absolutely dominate the discourse this month thanks to Heaven Hill dropping their barrel-proof expressions from Larceny and Elijah Craig. And we were lucky enough to get each for a bourbon review.

Below, I’ll be giving you my professional opinion on both Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A123 and Larceny Barrel Proof A123. Don’t get put off by the numbers here. Heaven Hill — which makes these brands — puts out three editions of these bottles every year. “A” denotes the first release of the year. “1” stands for January. “23” refers to the year, naturally. The next releases of these two whiskeys will come in May and September.

Generally speaking, these are two of the most sought-after bottles of bourbon in January of any given year. High-proof bourbon heads love these bottles for their bold flavors that truly do ebb and flow flavorwise with each release. So do they live up to the hype this season?

That’s what I’ll tell you below.

• The 100 Best Bourbon Whiskeys Of 2022, Ranked
• We Put A Whole Bunch Of Bourbons To A Giant Blind Test And Discovered Some Absolute Gems
• The Affordable Vs Expensive Blind Bourbon Bottle Battle
• The Best-Known Basic Bottles Of Bourbon, Blind Tasted And Ranked
• The 30 Best Bourbon Whiskeys For Fall, Blind Tasted & Ranked

Larceny Barrel Proof A123

ABV: 62.9%

Average Price: $69 (MSRP)

The Whiskey:

This year’s first Larceny Barrel Proof is made with Heaven Hill’s standard wheated bourbon mash bill of 68% corn, 20% wheat, and 12% malted barley. The batch is made from a combination of six to eight-year-old barrels from Heaven Hill’s rickhouses. The final blend is bottled as-is.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Chili pepper spice and almost damp masa come through on the nose with a hint of mustiness next to nut loaf cut with a twinge of apple cider juice and some orchard tree branches with a hint of apple caramel candy lurking underneath.

Palate: Sweet vanilla cake leads to a hint of cinnamon bark and creamy eggnog with plenty of nutmeg before a light ABV heat rises and leads to apple cores and soft leather.

Finish: A sharp winter spice dominates the end with a sense of old apple bushels, broken-down used bourbon barrels, and a hint of caramel vanilla creaminess.

Bottom Line:

This is a subtle and warming bourbon. It’s on the sweeter side but really benefits from the sweet/hot balance. It feels like something that’d make an amazing Manhattan.

Ranking:

88/100 — This is a solid B+ bourbon. It’s a nice sipper but really feels more like a cocktail base.

Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A123

ABV: 62.8%

Average Price: $69 (MSRP)

The Whiskey:

This year’s first Elijah Craig Barrel Proof is hewn from Heaven Hill’s classic bourbon mash bill of 78% corn, 12% malted barley, and 10% rye. That hot juice is loaded into charred American oak barrels and left to rest for 12 long years before batching and bottling as-is.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This has a classic nose that leans towards toasted chocolate beans, dried chili pepper flakes (and maybe even some fresh green chili), burnt vanilla pods, singed cherry bark, and old leather dipped in caramel.

Palate: Bold! The palate opens with a sense of sweet stick toffee pudding (dates, cinnamon, nutmeg, salted caramel sauce) before hitting a high note on the ABVs with a spicy heat that’s immediately countered by a rich cherry syrup and caramel sauce.

Finish: Another wave of heat arrives late and ushers in a light sense of old oak staves and cinnamon bark with a mild sense of apple tobacco and maybe some cedar kindling with a fleeting sense of leather and cherry stems.

Bottom Line:

This is a classic bourbon dialed up to 11. It’s brazen with the heat but balances nicely with the deep and dark caramel and cherry notes. This is really good bourbon. This will certainly benefit from a little water or a rock to let it bloom a little more in the glass as a sipper.

Ranking:

90/100 — This is a very solid and quintessential bourbon with some serious heat.

Rap fans might be used to older artists finding fault with contemporary stars, but at least one of hip-hop’s early pioneers had some high praise for rap’s reigning hitmakers. Big Daddy Kane, who is often credited alongside Rakim for sparking one of hip-hop’s earliest stylistic shifts, introducing complex, multisyllabic rhyme schemes and punchlines into slower tempo grooves, called out two names in particular when he was asked about the modern class of artists by Houston radio station 97.9 The Box: J. Cole and Migos.

Calling J. Cole his “hero,” he also gave credit to Kendrick Lamar and Rapsody, as well as battle rapper Lady Luck. He then laments the loss of Takeoff, saying, “I was so hoping to see another Migos album.” He explained his enjoyment for Migos, comparing them to some of his own peers. “Their style reminded me of The Funky Four Plus 1 More with their in-and-out thing. I’m a fan of their music and their fashion.”

Kanye previously praised Cole in 2021, calling him his favorite MC. “This is the brother right here that makes me feel like hip-hop is still alive and it’s here to stay when I listen to this here brother spit and listen to his music,” he said.

Preston Smiles found out he had a genetic heart condition when he was 25 years old. The diagnosis of an irregular heart beat shook his world but at the same time set him on an incredible journey. What followed was a restructuring of his life’s priorities. Through that process, he found a more enlightened state which he now shares with the world through social media and YouTube.

“I want everyone out there to know that real change is possible as long as your heart is open and you are ready to do the work,” says Smiles. “Chasing a goal is difficult work… but we have all done difficult things before. It’s important to remember that we are stronger than we believe ourselves to be.”

For Smiles and his clients, the message is clear: Once you’re ready to dedicate yourself to the process, it is only a matter of taking the first step. To help you take that step, Uproxx reached out to Smiles to get five keys that will set you on the fresh path for 2023. (All wisdom to follow from Smiles.)

1. Answer The WWW

“The ‘WWW’ stands for three questions. Where am I? Where am I going? Why? This step starts with taking inventory of who you are and where you are currently. For this to work, it requires you to be brutally honest. There are things that we tell ourselves, without really thinking what they mean. Or perhaps we say we are doing something without actually doing it. That can cause a delay in our success as well.

“From there you need to decide where you want to go and where you are going. That will give you that inner GPS system that you are going to need to move forward in the right direction. Perhaps that first goal might be to impact 100,000 people. That is a big goal, but it is one that you can move towards and see progress. Finally, the why is just as important as everything before because it fuels the fire. That is the impact you are going to feel immediately, with those first steps in the right direction.”

2. Elevation Requires Separation

“There are many instances where you might find yourself held back from your success by an idea, habit, or individual. That doesn’t always mean they are bad ideas or individuals, but they just aren’t helping you fulfill your purpose. One of the critical points in my life is when I went about letting those things go that were delaying me. I cut out alcohol. I cut out coffee. There were a few people that I had to cut out as well.

“I went beyond that though. I let go of my apartment. I needed to put myself in an environment that would support what I was doing. I let go of my ego. I let go of the need to look good and wanting to look good. I even had to cut my communication with my father. I had a conversation where I told him how I loved him, but I couldn’t talk to him every day because I required focus. I told him that I would return to him and our talks, but I needed to go away to accomplish what I needed. This process is addition by subtracting.”

3. Find The Who, Not the How

“For many people who want to achieve a dream, the first thing that they start to ask themselves is how they are going to do it. But what they don’t really consider is the fact that in many ways the path has been laid out before them. That is what I realized on my ascent, is that I couldn’t source what I wanted to do all on my own. I knew that there was someone out there that had done what I wanted to do or close to it. I knew that there was someone who had experienced what I wanted to experience.

“The ‘who’ in this case were all of the coaches, therapists, books, and seminars that I could find. I went directly to the source, to the ‘who,’ and I went out to connect with them. The books that I started with were The One Thing by Gary Keller, Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch. I went to seminars led by James Malinchak and Jonathan Sprinkles. I surrounded myself with the who, and the how presented itself.”

4. Make Aligned Committed Action

“This ‘aligned committed action’ is different, and better, than simple action. Rearranging your shoes inside of your closet could be considered an action, but it’s not the kind of action that will truly move the needle. During my growing phase when I truly wanted to be productive, I would decide on something that would usually take me a week and make it take a day. Then I found something that would normally take a month and get it done in a week. Then I would find something that would normally take six months and get it done in a month. Before long I had done what I would have considered impossible before.”

5. Celebrate Every Step Of The Way

“I have learned to let every cell in my body experience celebration. I believe and know that an unhappy journey will never lead to a truly happy ending. How many times have we as kids been asked who we want to be when we grow up? What effect do you think that would have on a person’s worth? What if we had been asked how did we want to become who we are now? Perhaps we would have been looking forward to that journey more. I knew that going into my own process. I knew that I had to enjoy the ride and every move I was making at every moment. That is also important because the true goal can take time and if you are beholden to the ‘when’ your happiness will always be waiting.”

Find more coaching from Preston on his site here.

Save the date. The Magic Man is coming.

After making stops in Asia and Europe last year, the MAGIC MAN World Tour is finally making its way to North America this spring. Making the initial announcement on his social channels today (January 13), multi-talented pop icon Jackson Wang will bring the tour to six North American cities — four in the US and two in Canada.

The tour will kick off in Los Angeles, California’s Shrine Auditorium on April 16 and will make its way east then conclude in Brooklyn, New York at the Barclay’s Center. Pre-sale for tickets begins next Wednesday, January 18, and will open to the public on Friday, January 20. For more information and updates, visit the tour’s official site.

In addition to his tour announcement, it was revealed Jackson Wang (as well as fellow 88rising artists DPR Live and DPR Ian) will bring the MAGIC MAN show to the desert at Coachella. Scheduled to perform on the Sunday lineup (April 16 and 23) of the annual music and arts festival, you can catch a glimpse of what Jackson Wang’s concert will look like at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California ahead of Frank Ocean’s set. This comes after Jackson made history as the first Chinese soloist to perform at Coachella as part of 88rising’s Head in the Clouds Forever set last year.

Jackson Wang is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The best new hip-hop this week column returns in 2023 after taking a couple of weeks off for the holidays. Although new releases were relatively sparse for the past couple of weeks, there were new projects from New York rapper MIKE, Houston mainstay Sauce Walka, and Baton Rouge menace to society YoungBoy Never Broke Again, as well as the latest installment in French Montana’s Coke Boys mixtape series (the release party for which unexpectedly turned tragic).

But as the year gets started in earnest, the hip-hop machine picked up steam, bringing a respectable crop of new releases from the likes of both rising rappers like BabyTron and Zelooperz and veterans like 03 Greedo and Skyzoo. Meanwhile, new singles popped up from all corners of the hip-hop map, with new tracks from the likes of Moneybagg Yo and GloRilla, Black Thought, Logic, Offset, and Armani White.

Here is the best of hip-hop this week ending January 13, 2023.

Albums/EPs/Mixtapes

03 Greedo x Mike Free — Free 03

03 free! The formerly incarcerated Watts native celebrated his impending release from prison with what is presumably the last of his pre-prison material, which features collaborations with BlueBucksClan and OhGeesy. Also featured is an unexpectedly poignant team-up between Greedo and his frequent partner-in-rhyme Drakeo The Ruler, who also outlasted an egregious sentence only to meet his untimely end less than a year later.

BabyTron — Bin Reaper 3: New Testament

The Detroit punchline pundit is quickly becoming one of the burgeoning Michigan scene’s most prolific producers — and one of its most provocative. If you’ve been following BabyTron — which you have been, if you’re a regular reader of this column — you know what to expect: More off-kilter humor and off-the-cuff sports references in service of proving he’s flashier than your favorites.

Skyzoo x The Other Guys — The Mind of A Saint

Brooklyn’s unofficial poet laureate seriously impressed with his last release, 2021’s All The Brilliant Things, and picks up right where he left off with his latest. Written from the perspective of Snowfall‘s conflicted protagonist Franklin Saint, Skyzoo’s new project is yet another intricate portrait of a figure he knows all too well, a player in a system he didn’t have a hand in creating but is willing to risk everything to master.

ZelooperZ — Might Not Make It

Fresh off his tour with Atlanta funnyman Zack Fox, the Bruiser Brigade member continues his crusade to make his name one of the first fans think of when the phrase “most unique rappers” gets tossed around. The five-song EP tries a bunch of new, interesting, unusual things sonically and your tolerance for them may hinge upon how badly you want hip-hop to move on from its current 808 obsession, but it’s hard to deny that at least it’s compelling stuff.

Singles/Videos

Buddy & Kent Jamz — “House Party”

The remake of the ’90s hip-hop cinematic classic hits theaters this week and with it, the soundtrack comes to streaming. Naturally, one of rap’s top modern dynamic duos makes for a perfect pairing on the title track, backed by the West Coast’s finest producer, the Inland Empire’s own Hit-Boy.

Fly Anakin — “Blicky Bop”

Fly Ani is a year removed from his warmly-received “debut” album Frank and is already plotting his next move — which, in this case, is a pair of EPs. Skinemaxxx will come with a side A and B, with the former dropping in April. The trippy “Blicky Bop” is the first offering.

G Herbo — “Shaderoom”

Herb is still promoting his 2022 double album Survivor’s Remorse, doing so this week with an uptempo selection whose video finds him enjoying the finer things in life. Just because he’s feeling the effects of the album’s title doesn’t mean he can’t have a little fun.

Jadakiss & Swizz Beats — “Hustle, Repeat”

Season 3 of Godfather Of Harlem returns to Epix this week, bringing a new soundtrack headed by Jadakiss, who’s well-versed in the appropriate subject matter. Swizz Beats gets some production backup from Avenue Beatz and Jada spits his usual brick-hard bars.

Westside Gunn, Rome Streetz, & Stove God Cooks — “BDP”

Gunn has been spending his past couple of projects setting up the next generation of talent from Griselda, and his most recent one, 10, is no exception. “BDP,” a standout from the project, showcases the lyrical talents of rising stars Rome Streetz and Stove God while bossman holds down the hook.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

There were a lot of no-shows at the Golden Globes this week, though some people had pretty good reasons. But when Amanda Seyfried didn’t show up to accept her award for her performance in The Dropout, the given reason was that she was “working on a musical,” and nothing more, which is the biggest cliffhanger you could ever offer to a room full of actors, honestly.

Seyfried then took to Instagram to explain, without really explaining: “It is a true honor to have been a part of [the Golden Globes], and I had to miss it because I am working on something that is magic, and it’s a musical, so I’m finally getting to do something that I’ve never really done.”

Naturally, when you think of the words “magic,” “Amanda Seyfried,” and “musical,” it wouldn’t be so absurd to hope that there is a Mamma Mia! threequel on the way. And that’s what everyone did think, quite frankly, because it would make sense. But it was revealed today that Seyfriend and Evan Rachel Wood are working on something together, though it doesn’t take place in the sparkling blue waters of Greece.

The duo is reportedly working on a musical based on Thelma & Louise. The film’s original screenwriter, Callie Khouri, is also on board, along with singer/songwriter Neko Case.

Thelma & Louise is a 1991 road trip comedy/drama starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon as two friends who take a weekend road trip in order to escape their lives but end up involved in some pretty heavy situations and have to stick together to see it through. There definitely is some magic here, though the musical part is a little daunting. If anyone can do it, a Mamma Mia! alum can. Or maybe ABBA.

(Via Variety)

Nine-year-old Molly Sampson has been searching for teeth in the water since before she could walk. In her young life, she’s found more than 400 shark teeth, some so tiny it takes a magnifying glass to identify them, and the largest measuring an inch or two—until now.

Molly’s father, Bruce, grew up on the bay in Calvert County, Maryland, and has been hunting fossils at Scientists Cliffs since he was a small child. Bruce has dreamed for decades of finding a “meg”—a large tooth from a megalodon, a massive prehistoric shark longer than a bus, which scientists estimate could have eaten a killer whale in five bites.

Sometimes our dreams end up coming true through our children—and that’s just what happened when the Sampson family went fossil hunting on Christmas Day, 2022.

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Molly woke up that morning eager to try out her new insulated chest waders—pretty much the only thing she and her older sister Natalie really wanted for Christmas, according to their mother—so she could go search for shark teeth in the bay with her dad and sister. It’s something the family has done countless times, but something about this outing was different.

“I’m looking for a meg!” Molly declared in the car on their way to the cliffs.

The three of them hit the water in 10-degree wind chills, spreading out to search in their own areas. And within 20 minutes, Molly emerged with a shriek—and a tooth the size of her hand. “Look what I found!” she screamed.

Molly’s mom, Alicia, says it’s as if she spoke the “meg” into existence that morning.

“In her head, she kept asking herself, ‘Am I dreaming?'” Alicia tells Upworthy. “She didn’t think it was real. She kept saying she couldn’t believe it.”

Bruce snapped a photo of Molly and her amazing discovery and sent it to Alicia, who had stayed home to avoid the cold weather. (A choice she says she regretted after seeing the smile on her daughter’s face as she held her huge find.)

Molly told her mom she had to dive in and get her arms wet to reach the 5-inch tooth, but it was worth it.

It’s rare to find such a treasure, even for avid fossil hunters. Megalodon literally means “giant tooth” and fossils that have been found so far have been dated from approximately 23 million to 2.6 million years ago.

Stephen Godfrey, curator of paleontology at the Calvert Marine Museum, told CBS News that the tooth was from the left side of a megalodon’s upper jaw and that the creature with this tooth would have been between 45 and 50 feet long—about the length of a humpback whale.

Calvert Marine Museum shared on Facebook that Molly had brought her tooth to the museum’s paleontology department, but she gets to keep it in her own collection at home.

“My husband is going to build a shadow box for her so she can display it safely,” says Alicia. “I am sure she will always keep this tooth. To her—and to us—it is priceless. The joy and excitement it has brought her could never be bought.”

Molly has said she’d like to dig for fossils when she grows up, and she’s certainly getting a strong head start in that department. She and Natalie have even started their own “Fossil Girls” Instagram page to share their love of fossil hunting.

Congratulations, kiddo, on your incredible find. Happy hunting, Sampson family!

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According to PETA’s website, “When she wasn’t being hauled around by a leash and forced to perform for human amusement, [Lisa Marie] was often relegated to a tiny cage in a cramped basement and made to wear a collar with a padlock on it.”

After learning about chimp Lisa Marie’s plight, OG Lisa Marie personally wrote to the chimpanzee’s owners to ask them to free her. Though that plea never got a response, the overall mission was successful—Lisa Marie was freed and taken home to a new family.

And Presley didn’t stop there. Lisa Lange, senior vice president of PETA, shared, “Early in the COVID-19 pandemic, when shelters were in desperate need of foster families, Lisa Marie and her twin daughters set a wonderful example by opening their home and hearts to two dogs. Though the ‘Lights Out’ singer has passed away, her bright vision for animals will continue to inspire all of us at PETA,” she wrote.

Presley’s family made the announcement of her passing only a few hours after she was rushed to the hospital due to a cardiac arrest. She was 54.

Her mother Priscilla Presley wrote in a statement, “It is with a heavy heart that I must share the devastating news that my beautiful daughter Lisa Marie has left us. She was the most passionate, strong and loving woman I have ever known.”

We never know how much time we have on this planet. But time spent trying to make the world a better place for those we share it with is never a waste. Lisa Marie left behind a legacy of great work and great deeds.