The Stars and Stripes, Old Glory, the Star-Spangled Banner — whatever you call it, the United States flag is one of the most recognizable symbols on Earth.
As famous as it is, there’s still a lot you might not know about our shining symbol of freedom. For instance, did you know that on some flags, the stars used to point in different directions? Or that there used to be more than 13 stripes? How about a gut-check on all those star-spangled swimsuits you see popping up in stores around the Fourth of July?
We’ll explore these topics and more in this fun list of 12 facts about the U.S. flag that you might not know about.
1. Betsy Ross, the woman often credited with sewing the first American flag, probably didn’t — or at the very least, there’s no proof that she did.
Legend has it that in 1776, a seamstress named Betsy Ross was approached in her shop by George Washington himself and was asked to help develop a flag for this soon-to-be-nation. Supposedly, she rejected the designs Washington presented to her and made a number of suggestions that would end up in the final version of the first American flag.
It’s a great story that humanizes Washington as a man humble enough to take feedback and gives Ross a boost as being uncharacteristically assertive for a woman in 18th-century America.
But the bad news is that this probably never happened. It was nearly 100 years before anybody spoke of Betsy Ross or her role in designing the flag. Most of what we know of this story came from her grandson, William Canby.
Unfortunately, though historians have long tried to verify any of the facts involved in Canby’s story, there’s nothing to suggest that Washington set out to commission a flag in 1776. In fact, it wasn’t until 1777 that Congress even passed a resolution ordering a flag to be made. Sure, it’s possible that Camby’s account of his grandmother’s story happened, but it’s more likely that this is simply an unverifiable piece of American lore.
2. It wasn’t until 1912 that the government standardized the proportions of the flag and the arrangement of its stars.
While most countries’s flags are rectangular, there are a few exceptions. In 1912, President Taft issued an executive order creating a uniform look for the flag — as prior to that, there were some interesting designs, with multiple flags sometimes in use simultaneously.
The executive order mandated that stars on the flag point upward, all in the same direction, and be placed in six horizontal rows of eight.
3. We all know the flag has 13 stripes, but for 23 years, it had 15.
Up until 1795, the flag had one stripe and one star for each of the 13 states. After Vermont and Kentucky were added to the union in 1791 and 1792, respectively, the flag was due for its first major redesign in the country’s history. Not only were two stars added to the blue field to represent the new states (a tradition that continues to this day), but designers also added two stripes.
The 15-star, 15-stripe flag existed from 1795 until 1818, when five more states were added. Designers realized that adding more stripes would quickly become unwieldy, so they dropped the stripe count back to 13.
4. We still honor the 15-star, 15-stripe flag today, as it’s the specific flag that inspired Francis Scott Key to write “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
The outcast of all American flags lives on through the power of song. Key wrote “Defence of Fort M’Henry,” a poem about his experience watching from the Baltimore harbor as an American fort took fire from British troops during the War of 1812. In 1916, more than 100 years after its first publication, Key’s poem became our national anthem.
5. Yes, the Flag Code is the law. No, there’s no penalty for breaking it.
The U.S. Flag Code was signed into law by President Roosevelt on June 22, 1942. While it’s filed under Title 18 of the U.S. Code (“Crimes and Criminal Procedure”), the Flag Code exists as more of an etiquette guide than anything else.
So if you leave your flag up past sundown, that’s technically illegal — but no one’s going to arrest you for it.
6. When it comes to showing respect for the flag, there are 11 specific instructions to follow.
There’s a whole section of the U.S. Flag Code on how to show respect for the flag. Since this is a topic that gets discussed quite a bit lately, it’s worth a quick review of some of the highlights:
Unless you’re trying to signal distress “in instances of extreme danger to life or property,” you shouldn’t display it with the union (the field of blue with white stars) facing downward.
The flag should never touch the floor and should never be carried horizontally or flat, but “always aloft and free.”
You’re not supposed to wear the flag nor print its image on “anything that is designed for temporary use” (napkins, for example). Don’t use it in advertisements, either.
“No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.”
7. You’re supposed to fly the flag on Christmas.
The Code says that “the flag should be displayed on all days,” but puts special emphasis on the following holidays: New Year’s Day, Inauguration Day, Lincoln’s Birthday, Washington’s Birthday, Easter, Mother’s Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day (the flag should be displayed at half-staff until noon), Flag Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Constitution Day, Columbus Day, Navy Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
The Code adds that states should display the U.S. flag on the anniversary of their admission to the union, on state holidays, and on any day observed by presidential proclamation.
8. If the U.S. ever adds a 51st state, the flag won’t be updated until the following Independence Day.
The flag won’t be getting any major redesigns in the near future, save for the addition of a star here and there. The Code reads:
“On the admission of a new State into the Union one star shall be added to the union of the flag; and such addition shall take effect on the fourth day of July then next succeeding such admission.”
9. Flag Day dates back to the 1880s but wasn’t made an official U.S. holiday until 1949.
It’s thought that schoolteacher Bernard J. Cigrand was the first person to celebrate Flag Day, commemorating the 108th anniversary of the 1777 Flag Resolution (which outlined the flag’s basic design) on June 14, 1885. The tradition caught on among schools and, eventually, states.
10. The design for the current 50-star flag came from a high school student’s U.S. history project — which initially got a B-.
In 1958, Bob Heft was a junior in high school. In a 2009 interview with StoryCorps, Heft recounted what happened when he turned in a history project featuring a 50-star flag. Heft’s teacher gave him a B-, noting that he had the wrong number of stars on the flag (at the time, there were only 48 states).
When Heft expressed disappointment, his teacher said, “If you don’t like the grade, get it accepted in Washington, then come back and see me.”
After Alaska and Hawaii became states, the U.S. adopted Heft’s flag. He got a call from President Eisenhower and, more importantly, an updated grade on his project.
11. The Pledge of Allegiance was, in part, created as a gimmick to sell U.S. flags to schools.
The pledge’s history is fascinating and filled with controversy. Many know that it wasn’t until 1954 that the words “under God” were added to the pledge in response to the Red Scare, but what’s less discussed is the origin and purpose of the pledge itself.
Socialist minister Francis Bellamy penned the original pledge for an 1892 issue of The Youth’s Companion as a way to mark the 400th anniversary of Columbus’ journey. The magazine offered U.S. flags to subscribers, and Bellamy and the magazine lobbied public schools to adopt his pledge as a show of patriotism. It was successful, too, selling tens of thousands of new subscriptions and flags. In hindsight, it’s a bit ironic that this lasting ode to America began as a socialist’s capitalist experiment.
12. No one is sure why we chose red, white, and blue as the color of our flag, but an explanation was made retroactively.
In 1782, Secretary of Congress Charles Thomson explained the significance of the colors red, white, and blue during the design of the official seal of the U.S.:
“The colours of the pales are those used in the flag of the United States of America; White signifies purity and innocence, Red, hardiness and valour, and Blue, the colour of the Chief signifies vigilance, perseverance, and justice.”
Pediatrician Alastair McAlpine gave some of his terminal patients an assignment. What they told him can inspire us all.
“Kids can be so wise, y’know,” the Cape Town doctor and ultra-marathon enthusiast posted to his Twitter account. He asked the young patients, short on time, about the things that really mattered to them.
What followed was a string of life advice that’ll make you want to be a better person, no matter how old you are.
u201cFor an assignment, I asked some of my terminal paediatric palliative care patients what they had enjoyed in life, and what gave it meaning. Kids can be so wise, y’know. Here are some of the responses (Thread).u201d
First, it’s worth looking at what wasn’t important to these kids.
“NONE said they wished they’d watched more TV. NONE said they should’ve spent more time on Facebook. NONE said they enjoyed fighting with others. NONE enjoyed [the] hospital,” tweeted McAlpine.
u201cFirst: nNONE said they wished they’d watched more TV nNONE said they should’ve spent more time on Face BooknNONE said they enjoyed fighting with othersnNONE enjoyed hospital n/1u201d
Many talked about the people and animals who would miss them when they were gone.
“I love Rufus,” one child told McAlpine about their dog. “His funny bark makes me laugh.” Others worried about whether their parents would be OK.
u201cMANY mentioned their parents, often expressing worry or concern:n’Hope mum will be ok. She seems sad.’n’Dad mustn’t worry. He’ll see me again soon.’n’God will take care of my mum and dad when I’m gone’n/3u201d
They all loved stories, and many wish they’d spent less time and energy worrying about what others thought about them.
“ALL of them loved books or being told stories, especially by their parents,” wrote McAlpine, who then shared a couple short anecdotes about Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, and literary adventures in space.
They also understood that people who treat you differently for superficial reasons, like your hair or a surgery scar, aren’t worth worrying about.
u201cMANY wished they had spent less time worrying about what others thought of them, and valued people who just treated them ‘normally’.n’My real friends didn’t care when my hair fell out.’n’Jane came to visit after the surgery and didn’t even notice the scar!’ /6u201d
What was important was having fun, being kind, and holding on to their sense of humor.
These kids loved swimming and playing on the beach, and they valued others who extended kindness to them along the way. “I like it when that kind nurse is here,” one patient told McAlpine. “She’s gentle. And it hurts less.”
u201cAlmost ALL of them valued kindness above most other virtues:n’My granny is so kind to me. She always makes me smile.’n’Jonny gave me half his sandwich when I didn’t eat mine. That was nice.’n’I like it when that kind nurse is here. She’s gentle. And it hurts less’ /8u201d
u201cAlmost ALL of them loved people who made them laugh:n’That magician is so silly! His pants fell down and I couldn’t stop laughing!’n’My daddy pulls funny faces which I just love!’n’The boy in the next bed farted! Hahaha!’nnLaughter relieves pain. /9u201d
Above all, they cherished their families (and favorite toys).
“They ALL valued time with their family,” said McAlpine. “Nothing was more important.”
u201cFinally, they ALL valued time with their family. Nothing was more important. n’Mum and dad are the best!’n’My sister always hugs me tight’n’No one loves me like mummy loves me!’ /11u201d
There’s a lot we can learn from these kids — and it’s incredibly easy to incorporate their lessons into our lives.
There are seven simple takeaways (well, eight if you count “eat ice cream”):
“Be kind. Read more books. Spend time with your family. Crack jokes. Go to the beach. Hug your dog. Tell that special person you love them.”
Easy enough, right?
u201cTake home message:nBe kind. Read more books. Spend time with your family. Crack jokes. Go to the beach. Hug your dog. Tell that special person you love them.nnThese are the things these kids wished they could’ve done more. The rest is details.nnOh… and eat ice-cream. /Endu201d
If you are going just by Billboard stats, the biggest song of 2022 wasn’t even released this year — great work, Glass Animals! And that’s often how the music world works these days, with artists finding long-tail success because of television syncs (Kate Bush), TikTok virality (Fleetwood Mac), and seasonal relevance (Mariah Carey, literally every year). But while catalog is booming in many aspects of the music industry, there was still a wealth of quality tunes sprouting up from all corners of the music landscape. And besides, we’re talking about the best songs of 2022 here, not just the biggest ones.
Some were inescapable, like Harry Styles’ omnipresent “As It Was” or Gunna’s massive “Pushin P.” Others might have been a little less underscored in pop culture, like great tunes from the likes of Ethel Cain, Fred Again.., and Vince Staples. But the thing tying together the following 50 songs is that they’re all living at the intersection of art and accessibility, where their creativity and inspiration are just as integral to their story as how people connected with it. Songs are nothing without someone to hear them, and the best songs of 2022 all encouraged passionate advocates and repeated spins.
But that’s enough from us, check out the best songs of 2022 below, and be sure to check out the best albums of 2022 while you are at it.
The 1975 – “Part Of The Band”
Our first taste of The 1975’s great Being Funny In A Foreign Language was less a preview of the album’s aesthetic and more a condensed look into the complexity at the heart of their music. The arrangement is as pristine as the melody is gorgeous, while the lyrics veer wildly from tongue-in-cheek to salacious to insightful. But for me, it’s the reflective closing moments, where leader Matty Healy looks at himself remarkably clear-eyed: “Am I ironically woke? The butt of my joke? / Or am I just some post-coke, average, skinny bloke / Calling his ego imagination?” The answer is plainly all of the above, which makes his notation of the days since quitting heroin all the more affecting. He’s also alive, one of our most provocative and interesting artists, and, you know, part of the band. – Philip Cosores
Anitta – “Envolver”
Though “Envolver” technically was released towards the end of 2021, the song made a big splash this year for Anitta. The song went viral on TikTok after the Brazilian superstar’s dance move of twerking to the ground while seemingly doing a push-up had everyone testing their physical strength on the dance floor. The sultry choreography embodied the alluring reggaeton romp’s powerful message of taking control in the bedroom. In the standout track on Anitta’s Versions Of Me album, she asserted herself as a global pop act who wasn’t afraid to push buttons or boundaries. – Lucas Villa
Armani White – “Billie Eilish”
Billie Eilish didn’t drop this year, and NORE’s “Nothin’” came out in 2002. Because of Armani White’s innovation, there are traces of both on our Best Songs Of 2022. “Billie Eilish” samples “Nothin’,” but White’s cocky flow adds the necessary original flavor. “Glock tucked, big T-shirt, Billie Eilish” is such a simple hook; the attitude in White’s delivery made it sticky enough for A-list TikToks by the likes of Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady. The West Philadelphia rapper told Uproxxhe wants to make “happy hood music.” After his “Billie Eilish” breakthrough, he’s earned the runway to experiment however he’d like. – Megan Armstrong
Bad Bunny – “Me Porto Bonito” Feat. Chencho Corleone
Reggaeton music’s past and present made an incredible collision in Bad Bunny’s “Me Porto Bonito.” The Puerto Rican superstar teamed up with ex-Plan B member Chencho Corleone for his freaky reggaeton romp on Un Verano Sin Ti. While singing the praises of the woman that he was lusting for, Bad Bunny also waxed poetic as a feminist with the Spanish lyric: “If you want me to, I’ll make you a baby or bring you the plan B.” He evoked millennial nostalgia and mentioned telenovela group RBD in the same breath as perreo. Bad Bunny at his baddest is what made this sexy collaboration so good. – L.V.
Becky G and Karol G – “Mamiii”
Becky G and Karol G brought the Latin g-force to pop music with their collaboration “Mamiii.” The breakup anthem pulled from influences of mariachi music from Becky G’s Mexican background and blended that with the reggaeton genre that both women are dominating at the moment. Becky G and Karol G lyrically cut their exes down to size while evoking Mexican icon Paquita La Del Barrio’s classic “Rata de Dos Patas.” The Latina girl power behind this fiery collaboration made it one of the most exciting moments on Becky G’s Esquemas album. – L.V.
The Beths – “Expert In A Dying Field”
Expert In A Dying Field by The Beths is a breakup album, the phrase itself referring to the act of getting to know someone so well just to end up departing from them and having nowhere to put the intimate information. Bandleader Elizabeth Stokes captures this particular, searing pain on the opening title track, singing, “And I can close the door on us / But the room still exists,” summing up in a single, striking image the urge to return to a past lover instead of moving on. –Danielle Chelosky
Beyoncé – “Alien Superstar”
When Beyoncé talks her sh*t — think “Bow Down / I Been On” or “Upgrade U” — the world stands still. Renaissance’s“Alien Superstar” is no exception. The track commands attention over all 16 tracks of Bey’s seventh studio album, serving as both a moment to flex for the veteran pop star and a rallying dance floor anthem. Outside of its confidence, Bey toys with texture creating a variety show on the 3-minute track. She pays homage to the Black ballroom, gives us a sermon from National Black Theatre founder Barbara Ann Teer and sprinkles a catchy adlib, “UNIQUE,” on top of it all. Kudos to Knowles for pushing past typical futuristic themes for her otherworldy-titled track and referencing the past for her new sound. If you’re looking for the spunk of Vanity 6’s “Nasty Girl” interwoven with Beyoncé’s floaty vocals, look no further than “Alien Superstar.” – Ellice Ellis
Bia – “London” Feat. J. Cole
BIA’s brilliance on her tongue-in-cheek, UK drill anthem “London” gave J. Cole imposter syndrome. The single marked the Massachusetts-bred MC’s first time rapping over a UK drill beat, but she was right at home. BIA cleverly rips through brand names she can afford and lame men she can’t be bothered with, while Cole shakes down anyone who’s forgotten he’s the man. They walk the walk in the video, galavanting around London and toying with British accents. All told, it’s an infectious bar fest. – M.A.
Big Thief – “Certainty”
Big Thief recorded 45 songs in 2021, 20 of which are included on their staggering double album, New Warm Dragon I Believe In You. Incredibly, all of those tunes are pretty great. One of the highlights is this mid-tempo strummer, which spotlights the easy chemistry these four musicians have. It sounds like a love song that Adrianne Lenker is singing to her own band in praise of their steadfast fidelity: “My certainty is wild, weaving / For you, I am a child, believing.” – Steven Hyden
Buddy – “Wait Too Long” Feat. Blxst
West Coast crooner Blxst has been on a roll the last few years and his hot streak continues here. While Buddy, who released his long-awaited second album Superghetto after a nearly four-year hiatus, handles the smooth verses, it’s Blxst’s yearning chorus that sets off this sunny serenade, which was a staple of LA house parties throughout the summer.” – Aaron Williams
Burna Boy – “Last Last”
For the second year in a row, afrobeats found its place in the song of the summer conversation. What was Wizkid and Tems’ “Essence” in 2021, became Burna Boy’s “Last Last” in 2022. Supported by a sample of Toni Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough,” Burna Boy detailed the struggles he endured following the end of a relationship. Still, the sad nature of the song meant little to many as they gleefully sang the song through the year’s hottest months. Even Burna’s pleas for “igbo and shayo” (“weed and alcohol” in Yoruba) to cop with heartbreak played more to fans’ desire for the aforementioned party favors as a boost to their outings. Nonetheless, you can’t blame many for not understanding Yoruba. In the end, “Last Last” did what music, in general, is supposed to: unite those from far and wide. – Wongo Okon
Charli XCX – “Beg For You” Feat. Rina Sawayama
Charli and Rina letting it all out on the same track set the British pop world on fire. This is the stuff that cotton candy-flavored dreams are made of. On the best moment from Charli XCX’s fifth album, Crash, the pair gush over a sizzling beat from producer Dance Farm Animals in an instant dance-pop classic. It’s everything that good pop music should have: an undeniable bounce, desire at its core, sheer thirst for romance, and two magnetic divas in their prime. Yes please. – Adrian Spinelli
Chlöe – “Treat Me”
Halfway into 2021, Chlöe kicked off her journey as a solo artist with her debut single “Have Mercy.” That journey continued into 2022 with the release of “Treat Me.” The high-paced single sees Chlöe take on the New Orleans bounce-inspired beat without issue as she puts her foot down with each bass drop to stand on her worth. Its accompanying music video saw Chlöe leave it all on the floor with her flamboyant spirit and high-octane dance movies. If “Treat Me” taught us anything, it’s that there’s no humbling or quieting Chloe Bailey. – W.O.
Claud – “Go Home!”
Buzzy indie artist Claud has been climbing the ranks since signing to Phoebe Bridgers’ label imprint and dropping their debut 2021 album Super Monster. Though they didn’t release an album this year, they still managed to drop their version of a song of the summer with the breezy “Go Home!” Accompanied by cascading keys and ballad-like lyrics, the song evokes the unmatched comfort of returning home after a particularly difficult day. – Carolyn Droke
The Dare – “Girls”
2022 marked the return of indie sleaze, so it only makes sense we had some coquettish music to go along with the revival of the era characterized by runny eyeliner and sweaty dance floors. Enter The Dare: the new musical project of NYC-based DJ Harrison Patrick Smith. With salacious lyrics about smoking cigs and hating cops, the electrifying song is a cheeky and catchy ode to New York’s thriving nightlife and evokes the chaos and fervor that ensues with it. – C.D.
When Doechii first released “Persuasive,” it was hard to fathom she could improve upon the seductive ganja-inspired single. Yet SZA’s soft and dramatic vocals command the second verse, which when paired with the track’s tinkering beat and Doechii’s self-confident but faded adlibs, force the listener to slow down — as any stoner anthem would. The house-inspired single plays SZA’s “spiritual baddie” aesthetic off of Doechii’s animated rap person, making “Persuasive” more than a dance anthem. It’s a stark reminder of the power, range, and talent held by the first ladies of TDE. – E.E.
Doja Cat – “Vegas”
With no time for games, Doja Cat refuses to put up with “hound dogs” on the standout track from the Elvis soundtrack. Sung in tandem with an interpolation of Big Mama Thornton’s “Hound Dog,” Doja is aware of her power and mystique, refusing to settle for men who aren’t on her level. Though much of her summer was spent recovering from tonsil surgery, Doja’s presence was felt through this empowering earworm, which was inescapable this year. – Alex Gonzalez
Dove Cameron – “Boyfriend”
From innocent childhood star to sexually liberated singer, Dove Cameron has had quite a transformative year. While former Disney darlings find it difficult to shed their preadolescence image, Cameron leaned into one of her tween roles for viral single “Boyfriend.” Co-written by Skyler Stonestreet and anchored by Evan Blair’s robust production, “Boyfriend” quickly became one of the newest queer anthems. The track’s use of theatrical finger snaps creates an ominous opening, followed by grandiose strings and strategic bass placements, building the perfect mold for the song’s flirtatious lyrics. “Boyfriend” is Cameron’s undeniably bold initiation into the mainstream. – Flisadam Pointer
Ethel Cain – “American Teenager”
Cain’s single, “American Teenager,” shines a light on the hedonistic underbelly of her perception of the patriotic dream. With the music video filmed on a high school football field, she details the passing of a neighbor’s brother and getting drunk at church to grieve — all while parading around in a cheerleading uniform. “It’s just not my year, but I’m all good out here,” Cain maintains in the chorus, keeping the positivity that matches the upbeat pop instrumental. –Lexi Lane
Fred Again, Romy, HAAi – “Lights Out”
Fred Again.. fired on all cylinders this year. No dance music producer built a fresh cult following during lockdown quite like he did, with his bedroom dispatch collaborations with vocalists from across the globe. Enter “Lights Out,” a beat he made on a train ride in Scotland, sent to HAAi to flair up with drum and bass bravado, before The xx’s Romy Madley-Croft gave it the emo-EDM pulse it needed. “Lights Out” teems with dancefloor sparks, instantly making you sweat as it builds into a triumphant release. Fred said it best: “Romy’s lyrics and voice are just like a hug from a rave angel.” – A.S.
Future – “Wait For U” Feat. Drake and Tems
On the poignant “Wait For You,” from Future’s I Never Liked You, he and Drake seek to stand by their loves, despite the occasional tumultuousness of their relationships. The two deliver their signature styles of rap-singing over a sample of Tems’ “Higher,” seemingly ready to move on from the “toxic king” ways that made them both household names. When Future and Drake link, it’s always a guaranteed hit, but “Wait For U” tapped into a side of them we hadn’t seen from either since the days of Pluto and Take Care – the records that made us love them in the first place. – A.G.
GloRilla and Cardi B – “Tomorrow 2”
If there was any doubt about GloRilla’s star power after “FNF” took over the airwaves and Yo Gotti signed her to CMG, it was removed when Cardi B lent her considerable co-sign to Glo’s thugged-out, weirdly optimistic banger. For someone who hasn’t put out an album for over four years, Cardi has certainly kept visible, and “Tomorrow 2” is a stellar, endlessly quotable example of how she’s been doing it. – A.W.
Gunna and Future – “Pushin P” Feat. Young Thug
Whether or not one is familiar with the southern colloquialism “Pushin P,” the song set the mood for 2022. Though the song clocks in at just over two minutes, the musical chemistry between the three ATL legends is evident, as they deliver bars reflecting Gunna’s explained “player mentality” over glimmery production. Everyone and their mother was pushing blue P emojis this year, and while some of the tweets from corporations may have been cringe, most would agree that the trio have delivered a timeless classic. – A.G.
Harry Styles – “As It Was”
Harry Styles penned “As It Was,” a three-time-Grammy-nominated chart-topper, about his personal evolution through the pandemic. It also undeniably transcended him into generational rock star status. There is no going back; we’re living in Harry’s world. The Harry’s House lead single dances between shimmering synth-pop melody and stripped-down introspection. “Answer the phone,” he softly sings. “Harry, you’re no good alone.” Styles has hardly been alone since launching his Love On Tour, including an unprecedented 15-date Madison Square Garden residency, with “As It Was” as a unifying staple on the empowering setlist. – M.A.
Hitkidd and GloRilla – “FNF (Let’s Go)”
Let’s Go! GloRilla and Hitkidd’s “F.N.F.” is an anthem for women to let go – whether it’s from shedding their fears and insecurities from their past relationships to devoting their time to their girl squad and, more importantly, themselves. More than anything, the song is an ode to self-love. With its bumping base and Big Glo’s raunchy lyrics, the track is both rachet and righteous — something for the streets to dance to and the perfect mantra to get through any breakup. – Alexis Oatman
Ice Spice – “Munch (Feelin’ U)”
Reminiscent of TLC’s “No Scrubs,” Ice Spice uses the drill-inspired track to call out a specific group of thirsty men, also known as a “munch.” With the help of social media, the Brooklyn rapper’s track became a runaway hit. Her gritty lyrics and adorable curly head of hair captivated the world and made everyone wonder what a munch is. Ice Spice would eventually reveal in an interview with Rolling Stone that song was not only meant to be a fun and upbeat record, but it helped to describe “the heaps of desperate men” who can’t stop thirsting after her. Additionally, the rapper noted that the song was a shot at her critics, particularly the men who were sex-shaming her online. – A.O.
Jack Harlow – “Churchill Downs” Feat. Drake
Jack Harlow dispelled “never meet your heroes” with the Grammy-nominated “Churchill Downs.” He challenged Drake back into his ruthless rap bag post-Certified Lover Boy and was rewarded with an explicit co-sign, as Drake plainly states in the hypnotizing track’s last line, “Shorty like, ‘You know that boy Jack is going places’ / I know.” Place is important to Harlow. Namely, all he craves is Louisville’s embrace — akin to Drake’s universal embodiment of Toronto. Their Kentucky Derby takeover felt like the official coronation of the city’s new king. – M.A.
Jamie xx – “Kill Dem”
Jamie xx’s knowledge of musical styles is second to none. Go see him DJ for a masterclass in global genre-hopping through his elite crate-digging moxie. For “Kill Dem,” The xx producer dug into his personal experiences growing up exposed to the Caribbean cultures and dub music of the Notting Hill Carnival every summer. The dancehall sound system tune, soaked with a heavy dose of Jamie’s signature steelpan drum sound, presented a long-awaited return to form for the sleeping giant. He’s back. – A.S.
Kendrick Lamar – “Die Hard” Feat. Blxst and Amanda Reifer
Kendrick Lamar’s long-awaited fifth album Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers features many uncomfortable and off-kilter records. These niche records make up half of Mr. Morale, with the remaining half being more digestible records like “Die Hard.” The Blxst and Amanda Reifer-assisted song touches on Kendrick’s passionate ways, and how it often aided his bad qualities as much as it did his good ones. The track’s West Coast feel, something aided by the presence of Blxst, brings Kendrick back to his roots, a place he needs to go in order to fix the many problems he details on Mr. Morale. – W.O.
Kodak Black – “Super Gremlin”
Kodak Black’s multiple run-ins with the law have prevented him from having a steadily rising and uninterrupted career. Despite that, Kodak has managed to release records that have placed him high on the charts: “Zeze,” “Tunnel Vision,” and “Roll In Peace.” The latest example of this came with “Super Gremlin,” the haunting and spooky track that captures Kodak’s disappointment with a former associate’s betrayal towards him. Kodak’s quick-timed punchlines and unforgiving bars are on full display for the record that peaked at a top-three position on the singles chart, the second of his career. – W.O.
Latto – “Sunshine” Feat. Childish Gambino and Lil Wayne
Latto‘s nostalgia-baiting megahit “Big Energy” may have garnered most of the attention early in the year, but the real gem from her sophomore album 777 turned out to be a more traditional rap song tapping a fellow Atlantan and one of her generation’s greatest influences. The result is an uplifting anthem that puts Latto’s full rapping ability on display while pushing the boundaries of her stylistic palette. – A.W.
Lizzo – “About Damn Time”
This year, it was “About Damn Time” Lizzo delivered another viral hit and she certainly did not disappoint. Lizzo returned with glitz and glamor on her feel-good track “About Damn Time,” which previewed her much-anticipated sophomore album Special. In true Lizzo fashion, the song is upbeat, infectious, and has some of the most quotable lyrics of the year. I mean, who can resist singing along to the line, “It’s bad bitch o’clock, yeah, it’s thick-thirty.” – C.D.
Megan Thee Stallion – “Her”
Meg’s time as a judge on HBO Max’s ballroom competition Legendary is evident in this viral track. On “Her,” Meg channels her inner dancing queen, as she delivers fiery bars over a house-inspired beat. With this fan-favorite from Traumazine, she takes over the dance floor, rocking high fashion and fully aware that all eyes are on her. And without hesitation, she will gladly “tell a hater, kiss both cheeks, ciao bella.” – A.G.
The National – “Weird Goodbyes” Feat. Bon Iver
It’s been more than a decade since the Dark Was The Night compilation, but these old friends still have a natural chemistry that lends itself to collaboration. On this song, they return to the electro-folk template of Sleep Well Beast and I Am Easy To Find, though Justin Vernon gives the chorus some understated soul when he harmonizes with the classically craggy Matt Berninger. – S.H.
NewJeans – “Hype Boy”
Not a day goes by where I haven’t played this song since its unofficial release over the summer. It’s dreamy Y2K pop with a blend of R&B, sung by five young and talented girls from ADOR and HYBE Labels who sound incredibly mature. “Hype Boy” checks off the qualities of a perfect K-Pop song with its addictive dance (a challenge done by almost everyone in the industry) and catchy hooks. – Lai Frances
Nilüfer Yanya – “Midnight Sun”
This buzzy British singer-songwriter was a breakout artist back in 2019, thanks to an eclectic amalgam of influences suggesting that Yanya ultimately wants to fuse the slinky grace of Sade with the sort of chunky and lovable punk anthems associated with Blink-182 and The Libertines. On her 2022 LP Painless, she detours into art-rock territory. Several tracks resemble Hail To The Thief-style rock bangers, though Radiohead hasn’t come up with a song as catchy as “Midnight Sun” in years. – S.H.
Oxlade – “Ku Lo Sa”
Afrobeats is the most refreshing genre that’s making a pop crossover. One of the songs that helped lead the charge for afrobeats this year was Oxlade‘s “Ku Lo Sa.” In the alluring love song, the Nigerian singer beautifully sings in Nigerian Pidgin English that’s typically spoken in his country. Oxlade’s voice soars with determination to get closer to the woman that he’s in love with no matter what obstacles are in the way. His slick charm and heartfelt performance made the world feel connected to this irresistible track. – L.V.
Post Malone – “Cooped Up” Feat. Roddy Ricch
Post Malone and Roddy Ricch do it again. After displaying some unexpectedly cool chemistry on the remix of “Wow.” in 2019 (before Roddy took over the world with “The Box”), they once again strike gold with “Cooped Up,” an angsty going-out song that somehow captures the anxiety of the last couple of years while giving listeners an irresistible urge to dance. Not bad for a track that Posty says he “probably” wrote “on the sh*tter.” – A.W.
Quavo and Takeoff – “Hotel Lobby”
It’s so weirdly unfair that Takeoff was killed just as Migos entered into this latest, unusual phase of their collective career. After years of “left off” jokes, the quietest Migo was finally getting his due as one-half of the Unc and Phew duo while they worked out whatever their beef was with Offset behind the scenes. “Hotel Lobby” offers the best summation of Quavo and Takeoff’s back-and-forth chemistry but it also leaves a pang knowing that any possibility of a true Migos reunion died with him. – A.W.
ROSALÍA – “SAOKO”
ROSALÍA ripped into her MOTOMAMI album with “SAOKO,” and it’s one of hell of a multi-genre ride. Though the song lasts a little past two minutes, the Spanish pop star makes every second count. She turns an interpolation of the classic “Saoco” by reggaeton pioneers Wisin y Daddy Yankee into a cyberpunk club banger. There’s even a jazz music detour thrown in the mix to show her influences are limitless. ROSALÍA evokes queer culture as well to describe her pop takeover. “Drag queen makeup, I transform,” she sings in Spanish. ROSALÍA’s drive to push her sound to new places is masterfully manifested in the rush of “SAOKO.” – L.V.
Saucy Santana – “Booty” Feat. Latto
Saucy Santana extended his run of hood hits with the Beyonce-sampling “Booty” after finally receiving recognition on the cover of XXL as one of its Freshman class of 2022. An undeniable twerk anthem, I’ve personally witnessed the inability of even the most stoic straight men to resist giving the tiniest of shimmies at this song, because it’s just that hypnotic. For years, we’ve been asking the wrong questions about hip-hop and gay rappers; the question was never “if” or “when” but “how” — and now, we’ve got our answer. – A.W.
Sorry – “Let The Lights On”
UK-based post-punk group Sorry took an off-kilter-yet-charming turn with their Anywhere But Here single “Let The Lights On.” It’s an amorous, hypnotic, and drum-driven track that captures the anxiety and excitement of new love, opening with vocalist Asha Lorenz repeating enamored lyrics. The song not only shows off the band’s songwriting chops, but it gives an honest portrayal of how difficult it can be to let go of love, even when it’s the right choice in the long run. – C.D.
Steve Lacy – “Bad Habit”
Every time I listen to “Bad Habit” is more exciting than the last. You see, it’s not just a ridiculously catchy pop song, it’s also an incredibly layered one. On every new spin, there’s another wrinkle to discover, whether it’s a vocal loop you didn’t realize was there before, a synth that jumps out of nowhere, or Lacy’s incredible range. The song somehow even managed to end Harry Styles’ historic run atop the Billboard Hot 100 with “As It Was,” and it’s a testament to the many, many flowers that Lacy is set to receive in his budding career. – A.S.
SZA – “Shirt”
There’s a history behind SZA’s “Shirt.” She first posted a snippet of the track on her Instagram story back in 2020; months later, the song was teased at the end of her March 2021 “Good Days” music video. After just under two years of TikTok challenges to the mystery audio and pressure from fans, she blessed them with 3 minutes of classic SZA. She lusts for love, digging into her rap-singing bag and refusing to shy away from addressing the despair that fame brings. The track is her premiere collaboration with industry vet Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins’ emotionally chilling sound, which is a fitting foundation for SZA’s commonly expressed relationship woes. – E.E.
Tate McRae – “She’s All I Wanna Be”
McRae struggles with self-comparison on “She’s All I Wanna Be.” Specifically, one that involves competing for a “stupid boy’s” attention and affection. While not gearing into internalized misogynistic tropes like predecessors of Paramore’s “Misery Business” might have, she instead makes a pop hit that plays into almost an admiration for the perceived other woman. McRae wants to be her while realizing the guy is the real problem. – L.L.
Taylor Swift – “Lavender Haze”
Taylor Swift didn’t release an advance single from Midnights. For Swifties listening to her record-breaking October album in order, the swirling opener “Lavender Haze” was the palate cleanser from the cottagecore of Folklore and Evermore — a synth spiral back into prime Pop Taylor. Swift borrowed the titular phrase from Mad Men, fiercely protecting her relationship with Joe Alwyn. Swift rejects the outdated fairytale “Love Story” or “Mine” was built upon. She’s not “a one-night or a wife.” She’s standing tall against “the 1950s sh*t they want from me.” Sprinkle in Zoë Kravitz’s songwriting credit, and “Lavender Haze” is a contender for the All-Cool Team. – M.A.
TWICE – “Basics”
Being one of the most artistically driven members of TWICE, Chaeyoung knew what she was doing when she wrote “Basics.” As this feel-good b-side track hails from the group’s 11th EP, Between 1&2, “Basics” highlights the members’ strengths and hidden talents in a perfect mesh of Korean and English lyrics. (Pay attention to the second verse where Chaeyoung and Momo go back-to-back in a thrilling rap cypher or when Mina and Jihyo perfectly show off their English pronunciation in the pre-chorus.) – L.F.
Vince Staples – “When Sparks Fly”
If you’ve been following my work for any amount of time, you know I’m biased when it comes to Vince Staples. But I will defy you to find a rap song from 2022 that grabs hold of your guts the way this standout from Ramona Park Broke My Heart does. Sure, the concept — personifying a controversial piece of cold steel — has been done, but where predecessors have focused on the technicality of the execution and the precise machinery of mechanical storytelling, Staples kicks you in the chest by making it a doomed love story. – A.W.
The Weeknd – “Less Than Zero”
Each song on Dawn FM seems like it cost $1 million to make and came out sounding like $10 million. Go beyond the extremely 1980s signifiers — the synth tones, the Thriller vibes of nearly every chorus, Jim Carrey’s ‘luded-out DJ (his best performance since Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind!) — and it’s this quality that makes the album feel like such a throwback. The record’s climax arrives with the penultimate track, which sounds like a lost A-Ha tune covered by George Benson. – S.H.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Sometimes during the holiday season you can’t help but splurge on a big gift that you don’t quite have the money for just yet, so you put it on a credit card (or layaway) and deal with it later.
That apparently is also how Colorado approached the hiring of Deion Sanders. Coach Prime is taking his talents from Jackson, Mississippi to Boulder, Colorado, making official what had been rumored for weeks late Saturday night after Jackson State won the SWAC title. While he didn’t give his buddy Rob Jay a ride to Colorado, he did arrive in style and had a press conference on Sunday where he talked about trying to open doors for other HBCU coaches at the FBS level, his expectations for the Buffs, and even introduced his son, Shadeur, as the new quarterback in Boulder, confirming the former 4-star recruit will transfer from Jackson State to Colorado.
However, the part of the press conference that made the most waves wasn’t anything said by Deion, but instead came from Colorado AD Rick George, who was asked about the 5-year, $29.5 million deal they gave Sanders which is the biggest in program history. George admitted they didn’t have all the money for the contract just yet, but that they would.
Colorado AD Rick George was asked how CU came up with the money to hire Deion Sanders. He said, “We don’t have the money yet, but I know we’ll have it, so I’m not worried about that piece.” #cubuffs
This raised a lot of eyebrows because you don’t often hear someone say they don’t have money for someone’s contract just yet very often, and while I’m sure he’s referring to the full five year amount — and it should be noted he was fully confident that the money was coming their way — it’s still very funny to hear. As such, folks from around college football had jokes about the Buffs putting Coach Prime’s contract on their credit card and worrying about it later.
I know this probably isn’t actually anything to worry about. I also know that this *sounds* like the last thing you want to hear your AD say. Like he’ll be able to pay his coaches just as soon as this NFT side hustle starts paying off or something. https://t.co/WGIrCRbLGO
As SI reporter Ross Dellenger noted, this is actually an oddly common process for college athletic departments, but still not one most ADs say out loud in public.
It is actually somewhat normal – and also alarming – how much athletic departments are fueled by *pledges* from donors and not actual cash on hand.
(I mean, you guys really don’t think these school collectives have $10-20 million in NIL *on hand* right?) https://t.co/La80K2Uisn
(Spoilers for The White Lotus will be found below.)
Someone (or someones) is gonna die next week on The White Lotus. Our own Brian Grubb has made his predictions, and there’s no telling who will die. Or who will be the murderer. Tanya’s possible death was a subject of much theororizing heading into this penultimate episode, and Ethan might be losing his mind with jealousy (and his paranoid imagination) over Cameron and Harper. There’s also the possibility that Albie decides to defend Lucia to her pimp and doesn’t walk out of the altercation alive. Valentina could feel spurned next week if her birthday present turns out to be “for charge,” and yes, lots of possibilities exist, including implications of that photo viewed by Tanya.
Heck, the angry Sicilian family members could descend upon The White Lotus resort and kill off the three-generation trio. Admittedly, that’s a super far-fetched suggestion, but let’s talk about how much people enjoyed this week’s episode. Tanya’s moment of staring at a certain photo could provide clues for how the season ends, but people are also loving/hating her cocaine moments.
Nooo don’t snort that coke Jennifer Coolidge they wanna kill u #whitelotus
Also, Ethan is seething, maybe even going crazy. People are concerned and noticing the call-out of a double standard.
This!!! This is what I was thinking the entire episode. Ethan gets a hint of something with zero proof and he’s losing his fucking mind. Meanwhile, he expects Harper to just take his word and be cool and move on. #WhiteLotushttps://t.co/eJxVoCbRrN
Fears for Albie also abound regarding Lucia’s motivations.
I can see Albie dying because he goes to confront that guy who was following Lucia and 1) the dude really is harassing her & he kills Albie or 2) Albie discovers that they are working to scam his family & they accidentally kill him. #WhiteLotus
All of that means that it’s time for our Best Scotch Whiskies of 2022 list. 50 whiskies from all across Scotland!
Over the last year, I’ve been lucky enough to taste around 1,500 whisk(e)ys across all categories. Though to be honest, the vast majority were bourbons, ryes, and Scotch whiskies. So for my list of the 50 best Scotch Whiskies of 2022, I’m pulling the absolute killers that crossed my palate this year. Then I’m ranking those by delectability, depth of flavor, nuance, and a category I’m dubbing… sheer splendor.
A quick reminder before we dive in, this list isn’t about what you can get or afford (how could I know that?). This is about the absolute best Scotch whiskies that I was lucky enough to taste this year via multiple trips to Scotland, judging spirits competitions, attending industry events around the world, and working in whisky media 24/7/365. This is about calling out the best of what’s out there right now (though I did omit any direct-from-the-barrel tastes I had over the last year — shout out Lagavulin’s Iain McArthur for cracking open some truly outstanding barrels for me in the damp, seaside cellars on Islay!).
Let me tell you, there were some astoundingly delicious Scotch whiskies that dropped this year. So let’s dig in!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months
This new release from a brand new distillery is aiming to put the Lowlands of Scotland back on the map. The juice is a 100% malted barley whisky (naturally) that’s aged for three years in a combination of first-fill bourbon and Pedro Ximénez sherry casks. Those barrels are blended and the result is proofed down with local spring water for bottling as-is.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a touch of black licorice with old peaches and honey but it’s all very light and malty. The palate leans into spiced malts with bruised banana and melon next to a hint of non-descript oak and maybe some dry oats. The finish has a nice peppery warmth with a hint of bourbon vanilla smoothing things out on the short and malty end.
Bottom Line:
This new whisky from a new distillery is fresh, young, and worth keeping an eye on as they grow.
Yes, Scotch whisky has celebrity white-labeled brands too. This one comes from Outlander star Sam Heughan. The whisky’s recipe/build is under wraps so there’s not much more to say.
Tasting Notes:
Lemon drops and Almond Joys drive the nose with a hint of honey, bourbon vanilla, and dried apricot. That apricot gets leathery on the palate as the malts arrive with plenty of honey and cinnamon-forward spice next to a hint of eggnog nutmeg. The finish is concise with a little cinnamon, honey, and almond rounding things out.
Bottom Line:
This is a steadfast blended scotch with a subtle sensibility that’s perfect for bespoke cocktails.
This single malt from the famed Loch Lomond Distillery is all about the aging process. The hot juice is loaded into ex-bourbon, re-fill bourbon, and re-charred oak barrels for 12 long years. Those barrels are then blended and the whisky is proofed down with Highland spring water.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is a mix of white summer flowers and a lot of fruit kind of like a fruit salad out of the can. The palate really amps up the fruitiness with overripe peaches, bruised pears, and plenty of grilled pineapple next to a rummy spiced cocktail vibe with a little bit of vanilla, allspice, and woody cinnamon. The finish keeps it easy with more canned fruit syrup, a hint of sweetgrass, and a bit of malty spice.
Bottom Line:
This award-winning whisky is a great introductory to the Highlands and fruity, unpeated whiskies.
This unpeated malt from Orkney starts its life on a barrel-shaped Lomond wash still. This still from the 1950s is super rare and only a few are left in operation. The whisky then spends an undisclosed amount of years mellowing in barrels from Tennessee and Kentucky. Those barrels are then vatted and proofed all the way down to 40% before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Old apple skins and floral honey lead the way on the nose with a hint of sour cream and roasted almond with a thin line of salt. The taste has a slight damp straw funk to it as more honey smooths out the mid-palate with notes of dry anise and licorice leading to a touch of lemon pepper spice. The finish has a note of old oak stave next to a lemon creaminess and that honey sweetness with a fair amount of that proofing water calming everything down.
Bottom Line:
Scapa Skiren is s funky, fun, and fresh example of old-school distilling mashing up with new ideas and flavors.
This Campbelltown whisky is a rarity, like most whiskies from the tiny region. After an initial maturation, the whisky spends a final 12 months maturing in 30% Pedro Ximenez sherry butts and 70% heavily charred American oak before bottling truly as-is — no proofing, no filtering, no coloring.
Tasting Notes:
The nose on this is thick with a lot of savory fruit — figs, squash — next to sweet oranges, overripe pineapple, and robust but fresh florals. On the palate, that floral nature takes in a nasturtium vibe with a layer of spice next to a thin line of saltwater taffy wax paper wrappers, rum-soaked cinnamon sticks, and a thin layer of creamy vanilla. The end has a vibe that’s kind of like malt-soaked tropical fruit next to spicy vanilla pudding with a whisper of singed apple bark lurking in the background.
Bottom Line:
This Campbelltown whisky is an insider’s pour that might get you hooked on the subtly of the mico-region.
45. Isle of Raasay Sherry Cask Finished Single Malt Whisky
This Island malt was aged in ex-Woodford Reserve rye barrels for an undisclosed amount of time before a finishing spell in Pedro Ximénez and Oloroso sherry quarter casks. Those whisky barrels were then vatted and bottled as-is.
Tasting Notes:
The whisky’s nose opens with dashes of green peppercorns next to a line of smoked almonds and plums with a hint of medicinal menthol in the background. The palate mixes freshly ground nutmeg with clove-spiked orange rinds as a creamy almond paste leads to a wintry mulled wine sour red fruit with a light sweetness and smoked plum vibe. The end is full of earthy and almost floral smoke next to more of that almond paste and mulled wine sour spiciness.
Bottom Line:
This is a fascinating pour that pushes flavor profiles to new and fun corners of your whisky palate.
This old-school brand just expanded into 18-year territory this year for the U.S. market. The whisky is made from malts and grain whiskies mostly pulled from the famed Cragganmore distillery. Those whiskies are vatted/batched, proofed, and bottled in this old-school stubby bottle.
Tasting Notes:
Dark and meaty dates and figs are countered by a hint of vanilla cream, woody cinnamon, and … I want to say … oyster or clam shell. The palate is a classic malty experience with a touch of sage over caramelized root vegetables with a touch of vanilla cake filled with spicy stewed plums. The end has a mild woodiness that’s attached to the spices with a hint of oak and mustiness.
Master Blender Stephanie MacLeod really hits it out of the park with these blends. This one starts with 32-year-old barrels of both single malt and single grain whiskies. Then all the single malts are blended and re-barreled in an “exhausted” barrel (meaning the barrel has aged its last whisky and would otherwise be repurposed). MacLeod does the same with the grain whiskies. Those grain and malt whiskies are then blended and put into another exhausted barrel for a spell. Finally, those barrels are blended and filled into an ex-Pedro Ximenez sherry barrel for a final maturation.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a rich sticky toffee pudding full of black-tea-soaked dates, sharp cinnamon, nutmeg, buttery toffee sauce, and vanilla ice cream with hints of orange zest, wicker, and an old leather tobacco pouch. The palate largely delivers on the nose’s profile with meaty dates, figs, and prunes countered by woody spice, dark fruit leather, and a touch of honey barrel staves. The finish is shorter than expected with all that dark and dried fruit leaving you with a sweetened and wintry vibe.
Bottom Line:
This is blended scotch at its best with true depth that’ll keep its hooks in you.
The “happy accident” that led to this whisky was Ardbeg’s boilers breaking down. Instead of throwing out the mash until those were fixed, Dr. Bill Lumsden (the mad-scientist distiller behind Ardbeg) decided to see what would happen if they let it be. The washback lids were opened and the mash was allowed to ferment with the sea-kissed Islay air for three more weeks. To put that in perspective, Ardbeg (and most whiskies) usually ferment for 72 hours before distillation. Once the boilers were back up and running, the whisky was distilled and then barreled in first-fill and re-fill bourbon casks. 13 years later, Dr. Bill decided it was ready and here we are.
Tasting Notes:
The nose starts off with this burst of fresh green grass just after the rain that melts into a summer herb garden (mint heavy), grapefruit seeds, and smoked butter with sweet lemon candy and orange trees that’s underpinned with a dark and rich soil that’s been turned with manure. Going deeper on the nose, you get fresh tires, mossy fir bark, and maybe a hint of fennel-heavy focaccia. The palate starts off incredibly soft with a toffee note before veering into burnt scones, hints of absinthe, what feels like powdered turmeric, and finally cigarette ash. The finish lets that sweetness stay while the cigarette ash builds towards a crescendo and leaves your senses feeling like you’ve licked an ashtray.
Bottom Line:
This is the quintessential love/hate whisky. I fall on the former side but totally understand if this is too much for the uninitiated in the bowels of hardcore peatiness.
This redesigned The Glenlivet is still a classic whisky. The hot juice is aged in a triple combination of first-fill Oloroso sherry, Troncais oak Cognac casks, and vintage Colheita Port casks. After 21 long years (at least), the barrels are vatted and proofed down before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Leather and winter spices lead the way on the nose with a hint of saffron-stewed pears, ripe peaches, and lush eggnog next to boiled beans with a bay leaf. The palate leans into the peaches and pears but puts them in a pie with plenty of cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg next to apricot jam and rum-raisin. The mid-palate hits a pine resin note before descending toward brandied cherries and dark chocolate with fresh ginger sharpens and a dash of cinnamon candy.
Bottom Line:
This is a subtly beautiful pour of whisky that’s perfect for anyone looking for deft unpeated whisky glory.
Johnnie Walker’s Green Label is a solidly crafted whisky that highlights Diageo’s fine stable of distilleries across Scotland. The juice is a pure malt or blended malt, meaning that only single malt whisky is in the mix (no grain whisky). In this case, the primary whiskies are a minimum of 15 years old, from Talisker, Caol Ila, Cragganmore, and Linkwood.
Tasting Notes:
Soft notes of cedar dance with hints of black pepper, vanilla pods, and bright fruit with a wisp of green grass in the background. The palate really delivers on that soft cedar woodiness while edging towards a spice-laden tropical fruit brightness. The finish is dialed in with hints of cedar, spice, and fruit leading toward a briny billow of smoke at the very end.
Bottom Line:
This blended malt is the high water mark of the standard Johnnie Walker line and seems to be getting better and better with each passing year.
This Viking whisky from high up in the Orkneys takes barreling one step further. Their 18-year expression is matured in casks made from American and European oak specifically for Highland. Those bespoke vessels are sent to Jerez, Spain to age sherry for three years. The same barrels are then sent back to Orkney to age this whisky for 18 years.
Tasting Notes:
This really feels like a classic scotch at every step. You’re greeted with notes of marzipan, dark berries, honey, and light lines of smoke on the nose. Those notes hold on as buttery toffee arrives with a dark chocolate counterpoint, leading towards ripe red cherries and floral honey. The end embraces distant billows of sweet smoke with a dry and earthy undertow on the slow, sweet, and berry-filled fade.
Bottom Line:
This is Highland Park at its most straightforward and, frankly, delicious.
This year’s Càirdeas release celebrates the Friends of Laphroaig and how they keep the brand going. The whisky in the bottle is made from Laphroaig’s high-phenol peated malt right next to the sea on Islay. The hot spirit was then filled in first-fill limited edition single barrel Maker’s Mark bourbon barrels. The barrels were then stored in the famed four-story Warehouse 1 right next to the crashing sea until they were just right and then bottled as-is after vatting.
Tasting Notes:
Here we go again. The nose opens with a huge note of smoked grainy malts next to an un-opened box of Band-Aids, peppery smoked brisket with plenty of smoked fat, and smoked sea salt counterpointed by vanilla sheet cake with a honey icing and dusted with cinnamon and nutmeg. The palate opens with burnt yet buttery toffee next to white wildflowers, dried fennel, and rich and creamy honey smoothness and sweetness. The end gets a little woody with a fatty smoked peppery vibe next to more toffee and a dash of seawater-washed granite.
This distillery-only Oban edition is made to celebrate the whisky makers of the past at Oban. The whisky in the bottle is made from Oban’s subtly peated malts. It’s then filled into ex-sherry casks, both first fill and refill. After a good rest, the barrels are pulled and vatted before being bottled as-is.
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a supple sense of pear candy, soft honey, smoked apple chips, burnt orange rinds, and a hint of white saltwater taffy with mild hints of woody spices tied to warm malts. Those warm and spicy malts open the palate toward dark and tart berries, pear Starbursts, orange oils infused into marzipan, and almost sour apple peels. The end slowly descends through the spiced malts toward the dried berries with a hint of honey and vanilla before the apple/pear vibe leans into a hint of orchard wood smokiness.
Bottom Line:
This special edition of Oban celebrates the tiny distillery’s massive impact on the scene and your palate.
Old Pulteney is a renowned Highland single malt. The unpeated whisky is aged in second-fill ex-bourbon casks for 18 years before being re-barreled into first-fill ex-Oloroso sherry casks for a final maturation. Finally, the whisky is vatted, proofed down, and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
Bright notes of floral honey greet your nose as yellow pears, orange blossoms, and tart apples mingle with a thin line of vanilla cream, winter spice, and chocolate-covered raisins. The palate leans into the chocolate while the taste gets slightly bitter like an espresso bean before a minced meat pie drops in with sweetness and meaty dried fruit with a good dusting of brown spices. The end has a nice hit of orange zest that leads to a holiday cake with tons of dried and candied fruits and a good measure of wintry spices.
Bottom Line:
This is one of those unpeated malts that’s just delicious from top to bottom.
Hailing from the Tobermory Distillery on Mull, this brand is all about the peat. The whisky was made to mimic the hardcore peated whiskies of the 1700s that were made in the Inner Hebrides. That heavily peated barley is mixed with local spring water for fermentation. Finally, the whisky spends 18 years in used oak before a finishing spell in Oloroso sherry casks.
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a nose full of smoked apple and pear chips with a woody underbelly next to dates and prunes swimming in dark spices and honey with a touch of sweet cherrywood. The palate leans into the spice with a mix of ground ginger, allspice, clove, nutmeg, and maybe some mace as fatty pork belly smokiness adds some serious depth and creaminess. The finish has a malty chocolate vibe that leads to more smoky fat, woody spice, and dark leather fruit on the very end.
Bottom Line:
This is one of those whiskies that if you know, you know. And if you know, you know how great it is. If not, it’s time to grab a bottle and dig in.
34. Bruichladdich The Organic Barley 2010 Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky
These special releases from Islay’s Bruichladdich are all about highlighting specific barley farms/farmers. In this case, the barley used is specifically from Mid Coul Farms in Inverness, Scotland, which was harvested in 2009 and distilled into this whiskey in 2010. After eight years mellowing next to the sea at Bruichladdich’s warehouse in ex-bourbon casks, the whiskey was vatted, proofed, and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is soft like soft-serve vanilla ice cream next to green apple skins, pear candy, and wet straw bails. The taste is malty and earthy with a sense of buttery brioche next to orchard wood with a hint of moss under apricot jam, stewed pear, and some saffron. The end has a malted vanilla milkshake vibe next to wet sweetgrass and a hint more of that sweet pear throughline.
Bottom Line:
Bruichladdich is doing some of the most interesting work in the game when it comes to sourcing and experimenting with barley.
33. Lagavulin Offerman Charred Oak Cask Aged 11 Years
This brand-new release is the third collaboration between Lagavulin and Nick Offerman. This time around, the team at Lagavulin took 11-year-old malt and finished it in heavily charred casks that used to hold bourbon and red wine. Those barrels were then batched and built around flavor notes that pair perfectly with a steak dinner.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a rich peatiness that’s tied to pecan chocolate clusters and dried cranberries with a dusting of sea salt, burnt orange zest, and fine nutmeg. The palate dips those red tart berries in dark salted chocolate with cinnamon bark and clove buds next to espresso cream and a whisper of malty vanilla wafers with fresh honey in between. The end has this enigmatic mix of smoked toffee, salted black licorice, and brandied cherries wrapped in cinnamon-laced tobacco and folded into an old cedar box.
Bottom Line:
This is a pretty great pour of Lagavulin that feels fresh, fun, and symbolic of the old-school shingle.
This Lowlands whisky is all about tradition and patience in a nearly-thousand-year-old abbey setting. The wash is made from Kingdom of Fife barley with an extra-long fermentation period. After distillation, the juice is loaded into ex-bourbon barrels, ex-wine barriques (casks from Bordeaux), and sherry butts. Those barrels are batched and blended before proofing and bottling as-is without filtration or coloring.
Tasting Notes:
A pile of grilled tropical fruits greets you on the nose with pineapple and mango being the most distinct alongside wintry spices, a touch of vanilla, old leather gloves, and a hint of sweet oak. The taste largely follows that path and layers in fresher orchard fruits, some dried-out dates, more dark spice, and a touch of dry vanilla tobacco. The end is a distillation of the sugars from the tropical fruits with a line of spicy malts tying it all together.
Bottom Line:
This is cool whisky with a cool story that also delivers on the palate in every way.
31. Springbank Local Barley 2022 Edition Aged 10 Years
This is as local as whisky gets. The locally grown Belgravia barley is malted in-house with a little bit of local peat from the Kintyre Peninsula. The whisky is then distilled two and a half times before barreling in used bourbon barrels. Those barrels then rest in the old, moldy warehouses for 10 years before this expression is built and bottled as-is at cask strength.
Tasting Notes:
Old oatmeal cookies with hints of nutmeg and cinnamon lead to a mix of a malting room floor with sweet barley warming up on your senses next to a hint of sultanas and dried cherry. The palate feels like a vanilla angel food cake drizzled with floral honey and served with a dusting of hot cinnamon and allspice as malty birch water rounds things out. The finish touches on sweet malts and heavily salted caramel.
Bottom Line:
This is a great way to get into the wide world of Springbank whiskey, albeit at a price.
A’bunadh (ah-boon-arh) means “the original” in Gaelic and the whisky in this Highland bottle represents that for Aberlour. The whisky is matured in old Oloroso sherry casks exclusively. The whisky then goes into the bottle at cask strength, unfussed with.
Tasting Notes:
That sherry plumminess is evident right up top, with hints of bright orange oils, clumps of dark chocolate, honey, and nuts, and a hint of oak. The taste shines with notes of dark, ripe cherries, prunes, more bright orange zest, dark chocolate, and a good measure of svelte vanilla. The slow finish leaves you with a creamy mouthfeel next to bitter chocolate next to sweet cherries and plums, all of which lead towards a warming spice on the tongue at the end.
Bottom Line:
This remains Aberlour’s true shining bottle of unpeated, cask-strength glory.
This Highland whisky is a no-age-statement version of The Dalmore. The juice is made from Golden barley that grows on the island in the rich and very coastal soils. The ground malted barley is mixed with pure water from the Cromarty Firth nearby during the mashing process. After a couple of times through pot stills, the hot whisky is loaded into ex-bourbon casks, 30-year-old Matusalem Oloroso Sherry butts, and former Cabernet Sauvignon from the Saint-Estèphe appellation of Bordeaux. After 10 to 15 years, those barrels are vatted, the whiskey is proofed, and it’s bottled.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is openly complex from the first inhalation with a matrix of sticky toffee pudding spices — cinnamon, allspice, and nutmeg — next to dried red berries with a slight earthiness, a touch of salted toffee candies, and a whisper of vanilla wafers. The palate opens with a chocolate maltiness next to a bowl of fresh and tropical fruits — pineapple, tart apples, sweet pears, plums, bruised bananas — with a mild nuttiness, sharp orange zest, and subtle winter spices. There’s a light mustiness on the back end that leads to soft and moist pipe tobacco with a thin layer of orchard fruits and stewed figs.
Bottom Line:
This is dark and stormy and The Dalmore almost showing off how skilled their team really is.
The 10th release from the most beloved The GlenDronach Cask Strength series is another instant classic. The whisky in the bottle is blended by Dr. Rachel Barrie from whisky aged in Pedro Ximénez and Oloroso sherry casks. The whisky is then vatted and bottled as-is with no fussing.
Tasting Notes:
Backporch wicker vibes with soft prunes and spicy holiday cake with a clove focus next to soft sultanas and berries with an echo of dead fall leaves lurking underneath it all. The palate leans into the holiday cake with a matrix of ginger sharpness, cinnamon, nutmeg, candied fruits and citrus peels, and a roasted nuttiness with a hint of dates and black tea with soft toffee drizzle just touched with salt. The end leans back into that wicker from the nose with a supple sense of toffee-covered shortbread and stewed plums.
Bottom Line:
The GlenDronach at cask strength is a wonderful pour of unpeated delights.
This is a classic single malt that also happens to hold the title of “Best Single Malt Whisky in the World” from the World Whiskies Awards. The iconic juice is rendered in Talisker’s bespoke stills and then spends nearly two decades resting in both ex-bourbon and ex-sherry barrels, like most of the true classic single malts.
Tasting Notes:
This is subtle. The nose has a light yet clear sense of ripe plums, orange oils, buttery toffee, and an almost sour apple next to a distant whiff of briny campfire smoke from one beach over. The orange oils remain on the palate as eggnog spices peek in gently, with hints of that butter toffee driving a rich silkiness. The smoke remains in the distance as the spices warm your senses and the meaty fruit takes the edge off on the slow and satisfying fade.
Bottom Line:
This classic whisky got a new look for 2022 and the whisky in the bottle has never tasted better.
This brand-new limited edition Octomore from Bruichladdich is all about Islay. The whisky is made from heavily peated malts grown on the island (most malts are shipping in from the mainland) back in 2015. In 2016, the whisky was distilled right by the sea at Bruichladdich and then loaded into first-fill, ex-American whiskey casks and second-fill European oak casks from the Rivesaltes region of France and the Ribera del Duero region of Spain. After five years, the casks were vatted and then bottled completely as-is.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is a subtle mix of salted caramel with sweet caramel malts, apricot jam, gingerbread, and a touch of nasturtium with a whisper of smoked apples and pears before the ashen peat starts sneaking in. The palate opens with smoked brown sugar next to rich marzipan with a hint of Almond Joy next to Kiwi boot wax, orange marmalade, dried roses, lemon pepper, and a hint of oyster liquor. The end has a caramel maltiness that’s just kissed with sea salt and potpourri cut with mild dark spices and more of that marzipan, finishing on a light fruit soda vibe.
Bottom Line:
Of the Octomore releases that we were blessed with this year, this is the one to get your hands on.
25. Caol Ila Single Malt Single Cask 13-Year Cask Strength Exclusive to Jack Rose
This Islay whisky is an iconic peated single malt. The juice is aged basically a stone’s throw from the briny and dark sea on the small island. Generally, Caol Ila releases a 12-year-old single malt that’s a blend of their best casks as an entry point to the brand. This is a year older and from a single cask that’s bottled completely as-is for Jack Rose in DC.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a subtle sense of the sea and runway tar on the nose that leads to a fruit orchard on a cool fall day when the fruit is fermenting in dead leaves on the ground and the bark is hardening on the tree with a hint of white moss and soft black soil. The palate has a sense of smoked floral honey with a dash of smoke prunes and pears next to a light sense of cold ash from the bottom of a Weber grill. The warmth on the palate is never overpowering and leads to a finish full of oily green herbs, dried pear chips, oyster pearls, and a sense of a pebble beach campfire on a rainy day.
Bottom Line:
This Caol Ilabarrel pick from the Jack Rose Saloon team in DC is rare excellence captured in a bottle and shipped over the pond to our shores.
This young whisky from the youngest distillery on Islay packs one hell of a punch. The juice is made from peated malts made in-house on Islay. The whisky then spends four years aging in Madeira casks before it’s bottled as-is at cask strength.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a clear sense of oaty malts next to sweet plums, Christmas spices, singed cotton candy, candied citrus peels, and a hint of new leather. The palate dives further into those notes while bringing about a spicy mulled wine vibe next to red berry leather and rock candy with a good dose of cinnamon and nutmeg rounding things out. The end is a lush slide into sticky berry tobacco with a dash of sharp cinnamon, an echo of old cellar beams, and a fleeting hint of mince meat pies with a sugar frosting.
Bottom Line:
Kilchoman is the whisky lovers’ insider distillery that’s poised to blow up even more as we get into 2023 and this stellar bottle is only one of the reasons why.
23. Benriach The Twenty Five Four Cask Matured Single Malt Scotch
This whisky is a masterclass in maturation and blending by Dr. Rachel Barrie. The whisky spends 25 long years in sherry, bourbon, virgin oak, and Madeira casks before Dr. Barrie finds just the right ones to make this superior blend of single malt whisky.
Tasting Notes:
This feels fresh on the nose with caramelized apple mingling with leathery smoked apricots, espresso macchiatos, and brandied cherries dipped into very dark chocolate. Saffron-stewed pears lead the way on the palate as woody winter spices mix with burnt orange peels, a hint of oily vanilla, and a silky layer of smoked salted toffee with smoky almonds. The thin whisper of smoke leans sweet as the leather apricot and brandied cherries dominate the finish with a sweet and subtle dark fruitiness with a thin line of cherrywood smoke and a creamy hint of something medicinal.
Bottom Line:
This expression is Dr. Rachel Barrie flexing hard as one of the true icons of whisky-making worldwide.
22. Talisker 11-Year-Old 2022 Special Releases Collection Whiskies
This classic lightly-peated Talisker is aged by the sea in American oak, ex-bourbon first fill, refill casks, and wine-seasoned casks. Those barrels are batched and then bottled as-is after 11 years of quiet mellowing.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a clear sense of seaside campfires far down a rainy beach next to a fruit orchard with a hint of nori sheets, old boat rope, and a dash of brown wintry spices on the nose. The palate leans into the oiliness of the nori with a slightly singed salmon skin vibe, smoked fish oils, and a touch of that distant campfire next to smoked plums and apricots with a hint of salted pear chips and dry red chili pepper. The end has a long meander through a pebble beach with sea salt, smoked pear, and briny seaweed salad next to a hint of fatty smoked salmon bellies with a black and red pepper crust.
Bottom Line:
This was a classic, funky, vivid pour of whisky that feels like coming home to an old house and cooking a new meal.
21. Aberfeldy 18 Finished in Tuscan Red Wine Casks
This year’s limited edition Aberfeldy 18 was finished in special red wine casks. Aberfeldy’s Stephanie Macleod hand-selected Tuscan red wine casks from Bolgheri, Italy to finish this whisky. Once those barrels hit the right spot, they were vatted, proofed, and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a cumin and chili powder essence on the nose with vanilla cream, cherry cake, spiced caramel malts, and maybe a fleeting hint of flour tortillas with a hint of lard. The palate Leans into the spiced and sweet malts with a dash of sharp green pepper next to lime leaves before moist marzipan and vanilla cake counterpoint the spice with sweetness. The end has a soft oakiness that leads to a hint of soda bread with a mild pepperiness to the malt.
Bottom Line:
Stephanie Macleod’s ability to choose just the right barrel to finish Aberfeldy every year is always a delightful surprise of perfection and deliciousness.
The Balvenie just added a new release to its core lineup last week. The whisky here is a masterful blend from whisky legend David Stewart. After around 15 years of aging, the whisky is transferred to Pineau des Charentes casks (a French fortified wine) for a final maturation, which is The Balvenie’s first foray into French oak finishing. The whisky is then bottled with a touch of water but as-is otherwise.
Tasting Notes:
Red geraniums and fresh honeycomb greet you on the nose with supporting characters of green grass, pear skins, apple cores, a hint of a cinnamon roll with vanilla frosting, and a dash of nutmeg. The palate leans into a lemon curd with a hint of grapefruit pith before layering in floral honey, ginger beer, vanilla-heavy shortbread, oatmeal raisin cookies, and a good dose of orange zest with a pinch of dark chocolate powder mixed in. The end is light and airy with a hint of savory fig next to ginger-infused rock candy dipped in creamy dark chocolate that’s just kissed with cinnamon spice.
Bottom Line:
When a legend like David Stewart makes a new whisky, folks pay attention. And this sophisticated pour is proof of that legendary status.
This brand-new whisky from Compass Box is part of the Extinct Blends Quartet they’ve been releasing. The blend is about 50% malt whiskies from Caol Ila and Glendullan distilleries and grain whiskies from Cameronbridge and Girvan distilleries and 50% malt and grain whiskies from seven other lots from all over Scotland. The end result is bottled as-is without coloring, filtration, or proofing.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a light sense of briny fruitiness on the nose with a sweet toffee candied malt, light pine varnish, and a hint of smoked pear and apple woods. The palate has a nuttiness that leans toward smoked pecans and marzipan with a light feel of minced meat pies cut with dark spices and just a whisper of vanilla that leads back to mild earthy peatiness with a whisper of smoked brisket fat. The end is all about stewed plums with a rum-raisin and winter spice feel.
Bottom Line:
Compass Box is always ready with a big and enticing and this whisky hits every high mark the blending house is known for.
Glenallachie’s Master Distiller Billy Walker hand-selected just five casks for this release. The barrels were ex-Pedro Ximenez and Oloroso sherry puncheons (a large barrel that’s around 100 gallons, give or take). Those whiskies were vatted and bottled as-is.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a note of grapefruit pith when you nose this dram that leads towards honeyed chocolate truffles with a touch of cinnamon and orange. The palate goes full Christmas cake with plenty of dried nuts, candied and dried fruits, rich wintry spice, and a touch of chocolate maltiness next to candied ginger, more orange, and a note of golden corn syrup. That sweetness attaches to the fruit and spice to create a stewed plum vibe on the finish that luxuriates in mild spice, sweet and meaty stone fruit, and a touch more of that chocolate.
The Bottom Line:
This unpeated malt really is just delicious, proving The GlenAllachie as one of the greats from Speyside.
17. Cardhu 16-Year-Old Diageo 2022 Special Releases Collection Whiskies
This Speyside unpeated malt was aged in refill and re-charred American oak bourbon barrels for 16 years. That whisky was then refilled into Jamaican pot still rum-seasoned casks for a final rest before vatting and bottling as-is.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a definite sense of aura of funky rumminess with a hint of barrel char and grilled tropical fruits with plenty of brown spices — clove, allspice, nutmeg — surrounded by creamy lemon meringue pie, mango lassi, and freshly washed sheets flapping in the summer breeze (it’s wildly engaging and kind of weird but I love it). The palate has a rummy toffee syrup mood with spiced rum cocktails cut with banana bread, walnuts, and brown butter with a hint of brandy-soaked oak staves. The end has a light black pepperiness with more of that rummy barrel funk and soft and sweet (not acidic) tropical fruit.
Bottom Line:
This might well be the best Cardhu of the year thanks to a truly deep flavor profile that’s comforting yet adventurous.
16. Gordon & MacPhail Tormore Distillery 1994 Singel Malt Scotch
Gordon & MacPhail get their hands on some of the best (and rarest) barrels in the whisky game and bottle them as-is. In this case, that was a 1994 barrel of Tormore, which is a very bespoke distillery in Speyside. For this bottling, Gordon & MacPhail chose a barrel that shines on its own without any fussing and at barrel proof.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a mix of orange candies with a hint of winter spice, dashes of clove, cuts of green grass, and a buttery toffee smoothness. The palate leans into dark chocolate laced with a light and almost woody chili pepper as bruised sweet apples (skins and all) counterpoint marzipan and dry cedar bark braids. The end combines those old apples with winter spices to create a spicy apple compote with a hint of vanilla beans and orange marmalade on the backend.
Bottom Line:
This very rare whisky is proof positive that Gordon & MacPhail remains one of the best bespoke bottlers working in the game right now.
This is Ardbeg’s yearly release of special batches of 19-year-old peaty malt. The whisky is Ardbeg’s signature, heavily peated whisky that’s bottled during a “haar.” That’s a thick and briny foggy morning on Islay, which imparts that x-factor into the whisky before it goes into the bottle.
Tasting Notes:
A soft smokiness comes from smoldering lime leaves that lead to a hint of sour cream bespeckled with fennel seeds and wrapped up in cold-smoked salmon with a hint of pine resin and black tea in the background of the nose. The palate has this soft and sweet hint of grilled pineapple that works the taste toward salted dark chocolate fudge, orange zest, and dried lavender with a whisper of wet granite and sea-soaked charcoal. The end has a slight sweet ash vibe that’s more fruity than peaty with a sense of seawater-soaked wood smoldering away and roasting some marshmallows.
Bottom Line:
Ardbeg hit a pinnacle this year with their 19-year Traigh Bhan masterpiece of peated audaciousness.
14. Oban 10-Year-Old Diageo 2022 Special Releases Collection Whiskies
This lightly peated Highland whisky from the tiny Oban Distillery is rendered from refill and new American oak barrels. That whisky is vatted and then refilled into Amontillado-seasoned casks for a final rest before batching and bottling as-is.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a lithe sense of lemon/lime saltwater taffy wrapped in white wax paper with a hint of lime leaves and wild sage next to salted smoked lemons and tangerines with a hint of really good and cloudy extra virgin olive oil speckled with smoked sea salt and freshly cracked red peppercorns. The palate is silken and full of layers of smoked grapes, smoked plums, and salted chili pepper candies with a fleeting sense of violet and lavender creaminess tied to a lush vanilla underbelly. The end has a mild woody chili pepper spiciness that’s dry and leads to a limber finish with warmth, lightly caramelized malts, and smoked apricot jam with brandy cream.
Bottom Line:
This new Oban expression is the perfect balance of delicate peat, nuanced sweetness, sharp spices, and just the right amount of eccentricity that makes for deep transcendence in the glass.
13. MaltyVerse First Edition 30-Year-Old Single Cask Whisky
The first-ever whisky released as a comic book — and available in the U.S. right now — is way more than just a gimmick. The whisky in this bottle is a super-rare 30-year-old whisky from the now-shuttered Cambus Distillery in Scotland. That means that you’re never seeing this whisky again. The actual juice was aged for three decades in first-fill ex-sherry butts (huge 500-liter barrels) and then bottled in 2021 with a touch of proofing water.
Tasting Notes:
The opens with a dried fruit salad brimming with brandy-soaked dried cherries with a hint of tartness to them, rum-soaked raisins, stewed plums, Earl Grey-soaked dates, and some prunes swimming in cinnamon syrup spiked with cloves, allspice, and star anise next to a hint of oakiness by way of an old dirt cellar floor. The palate leans into the dried fruit while layering in mulled wine spices with a sour yet sweet edge next to a hint of minced meat pie next to Christmas nut cake with plenty of fatty nuts and a hint of fig pudding. The end opens with a hint of red peppercorn spice next to dried vanilla pods, a twinge of date pits, and a whisper of huckleberry tobacco leaves.
Bottom Line:
Comic book tie-in aside, this is a superb pour of whisky that would stand up to any whisky pro’s palate and give them a new thrill.
This whisky was drawn from three 39-year-old casks. The first was an ex-red wine cask, the second was an ex-port cask, and the third was a re-seasoned European oak cask that held Pedro Ximinez and Oloroso sherry. The marriage of those three casks gave us only 1,695 bottles of this cask-strength expression.
Tasting Notes:
The nose on this reminds you of a hot day in wine country with rum-macerated blackberries that are countered by a decadent Christmas cake brimming with fatty nuts, dried figs, candied orange, brandy-soaked cherries, raisins, sultanas, prunes, and plenty of cinnamon-heavy spices with a hint of toffee and vanilla smoothing everything out. Moving onto the palate, the silkiness of the mouthfeel is off the charts. That creaminess leads to cloves, anise, and sassafras with hints of red peppercorns, bay leaf, and dark berry tobacco with a distant hint of sea salt. The finish circles back to the spicier edge of the Christmas cake that’s been soaked in cherry liquor (nearly cough syrup) next to that blackberry tobacco leaf with a whisper of mint to it.
Bottom Line:
The Singleton doesn’t get as much play in the U.S. as it does in East Asia, but releases like this are really starting to grab everyone’s attention as true gems.
Like many whiskies on this list, this is all about the casks. This whisky spends around 25 years aging in ex-bourbon casks and Tawny Port pipes and casks, some of which held Matusalem oloroso sherry for 30 years before they got to The Dalmore. Those barrels are married and then the whisky is proofed down before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a hint of lychee next to grilled papaya before veering more traditional with sticky toffee pudding, Earl Grey tea, salted toffee sauce, and a good dusting of dried orange blossoms. The palate amps up the vanilla to the point of rich and oily pods being squeezed in your hands as waxy cacao nibs mingle with soft wintry spices and plum pudding with plenty of dark stone fruit. The finish takes on a slight maple syrup vibe before hitting a soft cedar bark braided with a single leaf of ginger-infused tobacco.
Bottom Line:
This is The Dalmore’s sweet spot. This is the Highland malt at its categorical zenith.
Dufftown’s Mortlach is one of those distilleries that may just make you fall in love with scotch. The mash is distilled 2.81 times, according to Mortlach’s unique distilling methods. That juice is then loaded in sherry casks and left to do its thing for 20 long years. The results are vatted, brought down to proof with that soft Speyside water, and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
Freshly baked apple pie with cinnamon bark and nutmeg leads to black raisins, fatty walnuts, grilled pineapple, and sea-salt-infused dark cacao sauce with a hint of vanilla and pear on the nose. The palate leans into the lard pie crust under that apple pie with a hint of powdered sugar icing next to mint chocolate chip, old vanilla pods, and banana’s foster with a smidge of clove and allspice thrown in. There’s a light sense of caramel malts on the end that leads to a walnut cake full of raisins and cinnamon with a buttery vibe next to a savory note that’s part green herbs and part extra virgin olive oil.
Bottom Line:
This is a perfect whisky that you can still get, so get some while you still can.
9. Glenfiddich Suspended Time Aged 30 Years, Time Re:Imagined Collection
This new line from Glenfiddich is all about slow and steady aging over decades. In this case, this ultra-rare whisky was aged for three decades in ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks until it hit a perfect point for batching, proofing, and bottling this year.
Tasting Notes:
Soft hints of stewed plums cut with sweet cinnamon, bitter clove, and salted dark chocolate mingle with a sense of old but very soft suede, dusty oak beams in an old wine cellar, and this fleeting sense of old honey stored in stone pots of eons with an echo of orange blossom. The palate builds on that mild floral vibe with and aura of rose-water-laced moist marzipan dipped in creamy dark chocolate with an edge of cinnamon bark and dried apple bushels countering everything. The end has another note of that old honey and stone pots with a lingering sense of pipe tobacco dipped in apple honey and rolled with dry strings of cedar bark and strips of musty leather.
Bottom Line:
This Glenfiddich release is one of the most delicious unpeated malts of the year.
This collaboration between Islay’s Bowmore and Aston Martin is about luxury. The blend of this single malt follows the golden ratio to create an aesthetically pleasing vibe. The base is 61.8% of 21-year-old single malt aged in first-fill Pedro Ximenez and Oloroso sherry casks. The rest of the blend is equal parts of Bowmore’s other casks that are at least 21 years old ranging up to 35 years old.
Tasting Notes:
Creamy yet floral honey draws you in on the nose with fresh Grade-A maple syrup that has a little of the tree bark in it, alongside hints of peanut brittle, creamy Nutella, and fresh boot leather (almost creamy boot wax). Soft mulled wine spices and sugars open the palate as savory fruit — mostly papaya and gala melon — mix with vanilla lattes dusted with dark cacao, cherry bark, and toasted coconut. The mid-palate sweetness and creaminess give way to spicy woody tobacco, dark fruit leather, and a distant whisper of burnt marshmallows over a smoky backyard firepit.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the best Bowmore releases that highlight the true subtly peated whisky can have.
7. Johnnie Walker Masters of Flavour Aged 48 Years
This whisky is so rare that the casks it’s made from are from ghost distilleries. Those are the ones that no longer operate. In this case, that’s barrels from Port Dundas, Brora, Glen Albyn, and Glenury Royal. Though, the Brora distillery has officially reopened as of spring 2021 after a nearly 40-year closure. Regardless, single malt barrels from each of those distilleries that were a minimum of 48 years old came together to make a mere 288 bottles for this release.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a soft breeze on a misty pebble beach with a grill box smoking away somewhere in the distance with some oysters and salmon on the fire as dates wrapped in nori mingle with rum-soaked prunes, a hint of winter spice, and an old leather tobacco pouch that’s more old tobacco oil and old dirt than rawhide. The palate leans into the smoke but layers in dried cherries, blackberries, and slightly tart currants as the spice kicks in with sharp cinnamon with browned buttered layered into an apple fritter with a hint of vanilla and a touch of nuttiness. Hot fireplace coals, burnt toffee, and smoked berries round out the finish as a final note pulls in the beachside grill box smoke, berries, spice, and leather into a subtly soft end.
Bottom Line:
This is Johnnie Walker going so hard in the paint that it’s ridiculous, especially price-wise. But the whisky in the bottle delivers something truly extraordinary that we’ll never see again.
This ultra-rare single cask single malt from Speyside is a thing of beauty. The whisky is from a single barrel — a sherry cask — that was filled in 1978 and left alone for 40 long years. That barrel yielded 184 bottles, all of which were bottled as-is with no fussing.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with this mix of kiwi skins, sandy pear flesh, saffron threads, and creamy honey with a thin line of old vanilla husks. The palate layers orange and lime citrus into the honey as soft notes of black and green peppercorns mingle with a faint whisper of wet chili pepper, old lemon candy wrappers, and dark chocolate powder-laced tobacco. The end softens considerably toward a lush and silky finish full of chocolate malts, rich toffee, marzipan, and this almost invisible line of peaty yet sweet fireplace smoke.
Bottom Line:
This vintage barrel of whisky is one of those “ah-ha!” moment whiskies where the clouds part and the sunshine warmly hits your face while teaching you how truly great whisky can be.
This whisky is all about Malt Master David Stewart MBE — who basically invented special barrel finishes — finding the best 40-plus-year-old barrels and blending them into this miracle of an expression. The seven barrels are a mix of traditional ex-bourbon casks and sherry butts that somehow survived the four decades in the warehouse with something not only drinkable but delicious still in those casks. Those barrels ended up providing only 150 bottles.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a leathery dark fruit vibe on the nose with a clear sense of old honey barrels and maybe even dead honey bees (honey bee stew is an old-school delicacy) next to fresh cream and raspberries, orange marmalade with plenty of burnt zest, and a soft vanilla cream sauce. The palate leans into that orange with candied edges, kind of like a holiday fruit cake, with candied ginger, candied almonds, tea-soaked dates, and super mellow winter spices that lead back to that creamy vanilla with a hint of black licorice and a small whisper or soft cedar. The finish marries the burnt orange with the old and woody honey with a whiff of the moldy cellar, cobwebs, and a final brush of an old straw broom.
Bottom Line:
This was the best The Balvenie release, maybe of all time.
This Speyside distillery is for the whisky nerds out there. This particular release just dropped last summer with only 1,000 total. The whisky in those bottles was produced in 1981 and then spent four decades chilling out in old Oloroso sherry casks before going into the bottle as-is.
Tasting Notes:
This is soft on the nose with flourishes of plum puddings and mince meat pies next to candied ginger, lightly spiced malts, a hint of dark cacao powder, orange zest, and old brown sugar. The palate keeps that subtly as stewed apples with a hint of saffron dance with a dash of grapefruit pith, more orange zest, old maple syrup, and waxy dark cacao nibs freshly picked from a tree. The end has a twinge of tannic old oak stave with dry sweetgrass and cedar bark braids next to a thin line of black-tea-soaked dates and allspice.
Bottom Line:
This has been the year that Benromach went from a niche to a global powerhouse and this multi-award-winning is a big reason why.
3. The GlenDronach Grandeur Batch 11 Aged 28 Years
The GlenDronach Grandeur Batch 11 was created by Dr. Rachel Barrie (who also created the BenRiach above). Dr. Barrie hand-selected a tiny number of rare Pedro Ximénez and oloroso Sherry casks that were filled with The GlenDronach malt almost 30 years ago. Those barrels were vatted and bottled with a touch of water into just over 3,000 bottles.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a sense of black-tea-soaked dates blended with Saigon cinnamon and freshly ground nutmeg next to blackstrap molasses, walnut cake, old oak staves soaked in floral honey, moist marzipan laced with orange oils and dipped in salted dark chocolate, and a little twinge of bourbon vanilla cherries. The palate pops with dark cherry cordial on the palate next to stewed plums with anise and clove, old leather tobacco pouches, and a touch of creamy espresso. The end is a mix of dark chocolate and brandy-soaked cherries next to spent oolong tea leaves, walnut shells, and salted black licorice with a whisper of spiced caramel malts.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the best bottles of The GlenDronach out there.
This is a very rare whisky aged in 60% sherry casks and 40% bourbon casks for 25 long years. After that, the whisky is touched with a little local water and it’s filled into only 1,300 bottles.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a soft marriage between fresh raspberries and subtle rose petals with old cellar beams, cobwebs, and a dirt floor rounding things out, with a whisper of seaside air lurking in between. The palate veers from that nose pretty drastically with hints of rum-soaked overripe bananas next to wet brown sugar, rock candy, and a hint of large salt flakes. The end builds on that saltiness with a rush of malted barley and sweetgrass after the rain.
Bottom Line:
This is the apex of great whiskies from Campletown and Springbank. If you have a bottle of this, you have a bottle of greatness.
This whisky was bottled to celebrate the 175 years Caol Ila has been operating on Islay. 3,000 bottles were rendered from barrels of at least 24-year-old whisky, each of which highlighted the sophisticated brand’s nuanced peatiness and fruitiness.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a sense of a beach campfire far away as fresh brioche filled with nougat and dusted with nutmeg dries the profile toward raisins soaked in mulled wine with plenty of orange and clove. There’s a sense of that deeply ruddy mulled wine on the palate with star anise, allspice, cinnamon bark, and rum-raisin butter next to prunes, dates, figs, and tart dried red berries with a flourish of moist vanilla cake frosted with salted toffee and dusted with dark chocolate shavings. The end leans into the woody spices with mulled wine-soaked cinnamon bark and clove buds next to salted caramel tobacco leaves rolled with old cedar bark and strips of nori as that whisper of beach campfire smoke sneaks back in.
Bottom Line:
This is perfection from Caol Ila. Perfection. Perfection. Period.
Costco tends to release sleeper hits with their Kirkland Signature booze. Their bourbons this year all punched far above their weight class (with regards to price and name recognition), some of them by far. But how about their big ol’ bottle of añejo tequila? Does that 1-liter, $30 bottle also outpace the competition?
Before we dive in, a little context. Costco’s Kirkland Signature Tequila Añejo is from NOM 1173, which is the Corporativo Destileria Santa Lucia in Tesitán, Jalisco. The distillery is a pretty standard contract distiller that produces 18 other brands, give or take. They’re probably most famous for having made Tres Agaves Tequila, alongside Costco’s budget bottles.
For this tasting, I’m looking at the flavor profile and how the Costco bottle stands up in blind tasting against eight other añejo tequilas. I’ve selected some true icons of the style that win awards, get all the hype, and deliver classic añejo flavor notes. I’m really eager to see how Costco’s $30-ish bottle measures against some titans.
The nose on this one opens with a layer of dark chocolate spiked with black pepper and a touch of nuttiness before the roasted agave kicks in. The palate has a soft vanilla impression next to raisins and more of that pepper, a touch of cinnamon, and burnt chocolate-covered coffee beans. The end has a bit more of that roasted agave next to white pepper with a semi-watery finish.
This starts strong but ends a little weak.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a clear tannic note on the nose that leads toward a hint of burnt cacao nibs that are almost smoldering next to bold white pepper powder and a hint of sour crema. The palate has a sense of deeply roasted agave next to woody cinnamon sticks, allspice, and clove with a burst of burnt orange and singed vanilla pods. The end is soft and sweet with caramel and vanilla qualities leading back to spicy barks and wood tannins.
This was pretty nice with a solid beginning, middle, and end. The end was a tad sweet but not overly so.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a rush of deeply roasted agave with caramelized sugars over stewed plums, brandy-soaked raisins, and tobacco leaves dipped in salted dark chocolate cut with pink peppercorns and dried chili pepper. The palate has a deep and dark burnt orange spiked with clove and salted black licorice next to softer notes of stewed apricot and marmalade with a hint of brandy butter. The end sweetens lightly toward agave rock candy and sharp Tellicherry black pepper.
This is pretty delicious.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a bourbon aura of caramel and vanilla with a touch of cherry bark, singed marshmallow, and woody winter spices with a layer of roasted agave underneath. The palate has a cherry rock candy sweetness with a hint of winter spice cake full of dates and cinnamon with a touch of nutmeg and candied citrus. The end is fruity and spicy with a rich roasted agave base.
This was fine. It did feel like it was made for an American whiskey palate more than a classic tequila one though. Still, it was pretty tasty.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
The nose has a nice balance of roasted agave with a hint of caramelization next to woody cinnamon bark with a touch of mild chocolate and coffee lurking in the background if you really dig deep. The palate is pretty light with hints of choco-chili tobacco and white pepper powder next to a whisper of mango skins and rock candy. The end has a note of sweet agave candy and cracked peppercorns with a semi-watery finish.
This was fine as well. It feels a bit standard and really sweet.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a rich roasted agave and smoldering spice bark aura on the nose with a hint of butterscotch sweetness and vanilla smoothness. The palate has a slight nuttiness that leans into chocolate nut clusters with a shot of espresso on the side and a touch of vanilla just kissed with cinnamon and clove. The end has a mild almost musty oakiness with a rich salted caramel sweetness countered by bold white pepper and roasted agave.
This was pretty okay overall.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is earthy on the nose with a hint of garden-center potting soil next to butterscotch, sour red wine spiked with winter spices, and old vanilla pods. The palate has a sense of cinnamon and clove with a toffee sweetness and a touch of peach and vanilla cake. The end holds onto the dirty earthiness with a sense of whole peppercorns, caramelized agave, and charred cinnamon bark.
The was a little funky but fine otherwise.
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a medley of burnt orange rinds, chocolate-covered espresso beans dusted with salt and cinnamon, and a sense of roasted agave with a peppery base. The palate leans into the woodiness of the cinnamon with a hint of anise, marmalade, and white pepper. The end is a little watery but delivers a caramel and agave vibe next to smoldering cinnamon and burnt sugars.
This was perfectly fine but didn’t jump out at me.
Taste 9
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a sense of supple agave on the nose with a caramelization that leads to salted black licorice and dark chocolate with a mix of smoldering woody spice and fine white pepper powder with a whisper of sour cream. The palate has a deeply roasted agave flavor note that leads to smoked oysters and smoked apricots with a sense of mineral-forward sea salt, a dash more of those burnt spices, and rich toffee. The end leans further into the smoked nature with a dash of charred orchard wood and oyster shells over caramelized tropical fruits and agave with a white pepper sharpness.
This is by far the most complex tequila on the panel, and pretty damn tasty.
This tequila is a “single estate” product, meaning all the Weber agave comes from the farm around the distillery. The agave is roasted in brick ovens and then crushed with a roller mill to extract the sugary juices. After fermentation, the juice is twice distilled and then filled into ex-bourbon barrels for a 16-month rest. Finally, those barrels are vatted, proofed down, and bottled.
Bottom Line:
This tequila just never lands for me. There’s nothing really at fault here besides that it’s the thinnest flavor profile on this list. It just has a somewhat gaunt vibe.
This is pretty standard tequila from a process POV. Blue Weber agave, autoclave, and roller mill extraction. The juice is twice distilled, but in this case in a stainless steel pot still. There are additives involved, but it’s unclear how so.
Bottom Line:
This was a bit overly sweet but still delivered a standard roasted agave body. Still, this was pretty subpar.
Famously known as George Clooney’s billion-dollar tequila brand, Casamigos delivers the goods. The piñas are slow-roasted in brick ovens. The juice is then fermented for nearly four days, allowing the flavors to run deep in the juice. Finally, the tequila is aged for 14 months — resting through the hot highland days and cool nights.
Bottom Line:
Again, this was fine. It felt a little bourbon-forward, which made it feel more like something I’d mix with than sip neat.
This classic tequila — made with Blue Weber — is all about the slow aging process. The tequila is barreled in new French oak barrels for two long years before vatting, proofing, and bottling.
Bottom Line:
This had an interesting funkiness that didn’t really go anywhere interesting on the finish.
This version of Cazadores is made with classic Blue Weber agave, of course. The hot juice is aged for 12 months in small-format new American oak casks. Once those hit just the right spot, they’re batched and the tequila is proofed and bottled.
Bottom Line:
This was a pretty standard but well-made añejo. I can see mixing a tequila old fashioned with this one.
Kevin Hart’s new tequila is a collaboration with an 11th-generation tequila maker, Juan Domingo Beckmann. The agaves are roasted in traditional stone ovens and the juices are open-fermented. After double distilling, the tequila mellows in American and French oak for 12 months. Lastly, the tequila is batched and re-barreled into old cognac casks for a final rest before proofing and bottling.
Bottom Line:
This was nice all things considered. It felt like an easy sipper that’d also make one hell of a cocktail.
This tequila spends three years resting in American oak from the jump. Those barrels are then batched and re-barreled into Pedro Ximénez sherry casks using the solera method (never really emptying the casks before new juice goes in). Finally, those barrels are batched, proofed, and bottled.
Bottom Line:
This was pretty delicious overall. It had a great body with clear and concise flavor notes that told a story from start to finish. That makes this a nice sipper, especially with a rock or two and a twist of lime.
1. El Tesoro Añejo The Laphroaig Edition — Taste 9
This is the inaugural “Mundial” barrel release for El Tesoro. Their añejo tequila was vatted and then re-barreled into used Laphroaig barrels from Islay, Scotland for a final maturation. Then those barrels were batched and the tequila was proofed and bottled.
Bottom Line:
This had the most complexity by far. There was a mild sense of edging toward smoky mezcal that worked with the briny smoky peated aura of the Laphroaig barrel in play. Overall, this is the good stuff, folks.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
Zach Johnston
Costco’s tequila didn’t stand up — really at all — to this panel of tequilas. It wasn’t undrinkable but it was certainly overly sweet. To me, that screams that it’s really built for mixing into cocktails than sipping.
In the end, any of the top five would be a better buy than the Costco bottle (unless you’re making a punch for a party and want a tequila note in the mix). And if you want a solid añejo, the Gran Coramino, Lobos 1707, or El Tesoro are the way to go. They’re vibrant, deep, and all pretty goddamn tasty.
There are two things we know for sure heading into the season two finale of The White Lotus…
The first thing is that multiple guests end up dead. We know this because of the scene way back at the beginning of the first episode where a body is discovered in the ocean and everyone freaks out (understandable) and in the aftermath we hear that “other bodies have been found” and those “other” guests have been “killed.” We don’t have a specific number yet but we do know it is, at minimum, “a few.”
The second thing is that the following people are safe: Daphne (discovered the body on a swim, screamed a little); Valentina the Manager (received the news about the bodies and cussed about it); Rocco (delivered the news to Valentina and made a number of delightful little faces while doing it); and Salvatore (never on camera but told Rocco about the multiple bodies, presumably with that remarkably Italian little voice of his).
Everyone else is on the table. Or… in the water, I guess. Potentially. Some characters are more likely than others to die. No one is doing especially great at this scenic Sicilian resort, if we’re being honest. There’s one episode left in the season and a reasonable case could be made for any of them ending up lifeless in the sea. So… that’s what we’re going to do here. We’re going to break it down into groups, represented by skulls, from One Skull (least likely to die) to Four Skulls (most likely to die).
A few final notes before we start:
These will probably be wrong
If I end up being correct, no one will ever hear the end of it
It would be really funny if, like, Portia goes full John Wick and kills everyone on this list
Here we go.
ISTOCK
Albie
Albie is a sweet boy and I cannot believe the show would spend six episodes creating this innocent little forest creature and then bash his head on the rocks strewn about the choppy Sicilian seas they keep cutting to between scenes. It would be kind of funny, though, in a sick way. I picture him walking along the cliffs, deep in thought about how to offset the damage generations of men before him have done, and then just, like, slipping on a banana peel and falling to his death. A long shot, yes, but something to consider.
Portia
Portia’s trip has been a rollercoaster, from no fun at all to lots of fun with exciting English boys with sensitive nipples to no fun at all again when the aforementioned English boy drank too much and got very honest about the situation he and his “uncle” have created for themselves. It’s not great. I do not think Portia will die, in part because there are many more likely candidates and in part because it will make me very sad. Portia needs to come home and evaluate some things.
Tanya
ON ONE HAND: I refuse to believe this or any show will kill off a perfectly good Jennifer Coolidge character, especially considering she’s the one who has tied the first two seasons together so far. I want to see her back again for season three, maybe in a ski lodge.
Isabella probably lives for two main reasons: One, the discussion about the bodies in the first episode refers to them as guests, not employees; two, Rocco was the one reporting on this bloodbath and I think he would have heaved his body in front of a car if his beloved Isabella perished.
I could be wrong here but I suspect I am not.
ISTOCK
Mia
Quite a ride for Mia, from semi-reluctant escort to kind of poisoning a piano player during a tryst in a church to stealing his job to hooking up with the manager who hated her as recently as a few episodes ago. The smart money here is more on her getting discovered by a talent agent on vacation than her dying in the ocean, but we can’t rule out that Giuseppe takes her out with a revenge poisoning when he realizes she has replaced him behind the piano in the lounge.
Jack the Rowdy English Boy
More on him later.
Dominic
Tricky one here. Earlier in the season, back when he was miserable and hooking up with teenage prostitutes and getting hung up on by his wife, I would have had him way higher on a list like this. Now… I don’t know. It’s not so much that he’s improved his odds of survival as it is that other characters have tanked their own through relentlessly poor decisions. Lesson to be learned here. Sometimes you can win by letting everyone else lose.
Harper
I suspect Harper survives the season for a handful of reasons that are hard to quantify but I believe with all of my heart. That said, we simply cannot rule out a scenario where she and Ethan take a cruise with a number of other guests and a massively depressed Ethan grabs the wheel and crashes it straight into the side of a cliff. He’s not doing great. More on this later, too.
ISTOCK
Lucia
Three notes here:
Lucia also does not count as “a guest” of the hotel, so take everything below with a grain of salt
She said the thing at the beginning about sex workers always getting punished in the end, which, if you believe in foreshadowing more than you believe in characters growing and changing throughout a season, could be a thing
She does have an angry and possibly violent pimp with a number of aggressive piercings on his face chasing her around a bunch
So there’s that.
Giuseppe the Piano Man
Also not a guest, I suppose, but you can’t run around taking handfuls of mysterious pills given to you by sex workers and expect to live forever, you know?
Greg
I had forgotten about Greg in the last few weeks but it would be good to remember a few things before the finale:
Greg went home to continue an affair because he is a sleaze and a doof
He is allegedly coming back
It would be really funny if Tanya just, like, accidentally knocks him off of a boat, or even straight-up murders him for being a sleaze and a doof
Let Tanya do a murder.
Alessio the Pimp
ON ONE HAND: Not a guest.
ON THE OTHER HAND: I could see Albie just kind of snapping and doing a vehicular homicide by running Alessio and his henchman off of the road and into the sea. Anyone as nice as Albie has a dark side. I want to see it.
ISTOCK
Quentin and His Collection of Suspicious Hangers-On
My prediction for the finale:
Quentin uses Tanya’s cocaine-fueled night with a studly gigolo to blackmail her into giving him a huge chunk of money in exchange for not showing evidence to her husband that would cost her millions and millions in a divorce that is presumably no longer restricted by a prenuptial agreement due to the aforementioned cocaine romps with gigolos
OR he is working WITH Greg and plans to give him the evidence in exchange for a healthy chunk of the money Greg gets in the divorce
Quentin and his crew celebrate by going out on the yacht for a sea-based party
Someone — Tanya, probably not; Portia, no, but it would be funny; Jack, my favorite suspect, in a fit of revenge and morality — causes the yacht to crash or sink, killing everyone on board, including the adorable little captain we met a few episodes ago, which will make me really sad
Write this one down.
Ethan
Ethan is doing bad. He is doing so bad. I wondered a little bit if he was going to die at the end of the penultimate episode when he was doing his little depression breaststroke out into the horizon. He’s seeing visions of his wife cheating on him with his friends. He’s confronting both of them about it. He’s really just kind of sighing a lot and sitting around with his head in his hands and it is nowhere near outlandish to envision a scenario where he throws himself onto the rocks in the middle of his morning run.
Also, let’s consider…
Cameron
I do not necessarily think Cameron is the dead body teased at the very beginning, only because Daphne was the one who discovered it and her reaction would have been… bigger, I guess, if it had been her husband.
BUT
The body could have been Ethan’s…
AND
… Cameron could be one of the other bodies in the water…
BECAUSE
… maybe Ethan suggested they go out on those jet skis again and then rammed his into Cameron’s in a blind jealous rage, killing them both in a way that pays off the jet ski montage from earlier in the season…
AND
… allows me to shout “CHEKHOV’S JET SKI” at my television…
WHICH
I really want to do it now.
Bert
Bert is very old and concussed and just had his entire trip to discover his roots dashed by an old woman wielding an artichoke and a knife. There are literally dozens of scenarios where he ends up dead in the ocean. He had a good run.
Remember Greg (Jon Gries)? Tanya’s husband? He hasn’t been seen since episode three, when he tells Tanya that he has to cut their vacation short because he has a work thing in Denver that he needs to take care of. He claims he’ll be back in two days, but Tanya overhears him talking to someone on the phone. “Yeah, she’s clueless as usual,” he says. “I’ll be home tomorrow.” He even says “I love you” to the mystery caller. Tanya is verklempt after Greg leaves — until she meets the “high-end gays,” led by Greg, who after a day spent drinking and gossiping, invites her to a fancy palazzo in Palermo.
It’s important to remember something Cam said earlier in the season: “These European aristocrats, they have no money. Like, I sh*t you not. They have all these palazzos, and they got no cash.” Cameron might be a douche (OK, he’s for sure a douche), but he’s on to something here. Think about it: Jack, who travels with Quentin & Co., dines and dashes with Portia, partially for the thrill of it, but also maybe because he doesn’t have any money? Could the high-end gays be scamming Tanya? And — to go full Pepe Silvia — is Greg involved? Y’know, Denver isn’t far from Montana, where Quentin tells Tanya he fell in love with an American cowboy. It would also explain why Greg was so upset about Portia being there during the Sicily trip (or maybe he just didn’t want someone who wasn’t his wife around on a romantic trip, which would be understandable).
Fast forward to the episode that aired tonight (episode six) and, after snorting a bunch of cocaine, Tanya goes wandering around Quentin’s palazzo while she waits for her much younger (and “notoriously well-hung”) Italian drug dealer paramour to prepare himself to bone her, and then she comes across a photo featuring two dudes who look a lot like younger versions of Quentin and Greg (aka “the cowboy”.)
HBO
Yep, that’s definitely Greg and Quentin. All things considered, it seems like the aforementioned fan theory about Tanya’s storyline was pretty spot on and there seems to be nefarious business afoot here. Especially considering all the cocaine being fed to her.
HBO
Looking forward to the season finale next weekend to see what happens!
(Spoilers for The White Lotus will be found below.)
Murder is coming on The White Lotus. That’s part of the formula, which was confirmed after an early-on body bag in Season 1 and the death of Armond. In the opening moments of Season 2, we saw Daphne freak out over this season’s dead body (although there may be more than one), which floated right past her as she enjoyed some final vacation serenity. Who died, though, and who is the murderer?
Many possibilities exist in this tightly woven, satiric tapestry from Mike White. Sad socialite Tanya, for example, could be the subject of a plot to take her out, and that’s made people very tense. As well, the show’s angry pimp could take out Albie or Cameron or Lucia or maybe the whole hotel. Anything is possible! Don’t rule out Daphne as a possible suspect, either. Girlfriend is very good at faking contentment, and god only knows whether she’s finally had enough of Cameron’s cheating sh*t and has kept that hidden behind a saccharine smile. Daphne could want to run off with her trainer and live happily ever after.
From there, though, a very likely source of fatal animosity has surfaced. That would be coming from Ethan, who has already been dealing with tension in his marriage to Harper. Upon arrival in Sicily, he’s been further put into a pretty awful situation by his old friend, Cameron. Harper suspected him of cheating after finding a condom wrapper, and this week, she saw him talking to the two sex workers in question. Of course, Cameron is the cheater, and he slept with Lucia, but Cameron’s also been hitting on Harper over the course of this vacation. She has been encouraging the vibe (that leg rub) and might be motivated to egg Cameron on (or even sleep with him) for revenge.
Let’s just say that Ethan is pretty pissed off. He wanted to work on things with Harper despite their dead-ish bedroom, but it sure seems like Harper and Cameron may have hooked up. The locked front door to the hotel room and the open side door do not bode well. We also saw Ethan’s imagining (?) of the situation, and it’s clear that he’s in a very bad state of mind by the end of this week’s penultimate episode.
In fact, Ethan is seething, maybe even going crazy. People are concerned.
ethan isn’t making it home LMAO harper got that man’s mind going CRAZYYYY #WhiteLotus
Could Ethan actually fly off the handle and take out his old buddy? We should find out next week when this season wraps, and Season 3 will then pick up with a whole new set (unless Tanya is lucky enough to survive again) of miserable vacationers.
HBO’s The White Lotus airs on Sunday nights.
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i’ll worry about the money part later 
(@Blvck_Picvsso) 
(@lady_saane) 
Sierra
Avi 
(@itsme_AVRIL) 
(@kierxo) 