GoneTrending

This article originally appeared on 06.29.18

Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship material.

He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. I was honest when I met him that I was looking for something more than just sex, and he led me to believe that was what he wanted, too.

Between mind-blowing sex sessions, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies — couple things but without the label. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused. My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him.

---

“Why don’t we ever go anywhere?”

“We have everything we need here,” he answered while simultaneously distracting me by caressing my shoulder blades.

“We actually don’t,” I said. “I’m hungry, let’s check out that new Indian place around the corner.”

“No! We might run into one of my buddies,” he said, moving his body further away from me. The underlining meaning was clear — he couldn’t take the chance that someone he knew would see him with me.

He needed to keep our relationship on the DL so that no one would ever suspect that he enjoyed spending time with me — a fat woman.

He was super fit, so obviously that’s the kind of woman he wanted to be associated with, the kind he could be seen with at the Indian place.

When I realized he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach — a place where much of my pain already resided.

To him, I was fuckable but not dateable. He dumped me soon after that conversation.

He did me a favor by not continuing to lead me on. Otherwise, I might still be trying to prove to him that I was worth any shit he might have gotten from other people. If I was still his secret shame, I might not have met my next boyfriend, so thanks, athletic asshole.

I had hoped that, in this age of body positivity, men would no longer need to hide their desires when it comes to fat women.

But I was wrong.

It’s just a sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it.

They’re OK with banging a fat girl, but they don’t want to hang out with her — someone might judge them for it.

It’s one thing if you’re not into fat women — everyone has their preferences, and not every body type appeals to everyone. But if you find larger women hot and you want to have sex with them without being associated in public with them, that’s emotionally abusive.

Everyone should have the freedom to express their desires openly (as long as there’s consent from both parties). If you modify your behavior and wants to what you think will protect you from criticism and/or ridicule, then you need help because that kind of self-loathing will only grow until it has destroyed you.

Don’t act like we’re in a relationship if all you really want is to experience what sex with a fat woman is like.

I’ll tell you what it’s like: It’s as amazing and fun as having sex with anyone who’s into having sex with you. We don’t have magic vaginas, and our breasts don’t do any special tricks — well besides the usual, like feed or comfort people.

Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. Being fat doesn’t mean we’re so hungry for attention that we’ll put our own needs aside and do whatever we can to rock your world.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t make you feel beautiful or who isn’t proud to have you on their arm, you need to dump their ass.

Being alone is far better than compromising on what you deserve or being made to feel as if you’re someone’s big dirty secret.

You’re not only dateable, you’re lovable and worthy of being treated with respect and love.

I regret not standing up for myself when I discovered the athletic guy was only using me for sex. But at least I learned, as we all should learn, that I’m responsible for being my biggest advocate and to never accepting anything less than what I need.

This article originally appeared on 01.20.16

Privilege can be a hard thing to talk about.

Oftentimes, when it’s implied or stated that someone is “privileged,” they can feel defensive or upset. They may have worked very hard for what they have accomplished and they may have overcome many obstacles to accomplish it. And the word “privilege” can make a person feel as though that work is being diminished.

The key point about privilege, though, is that it doesn’t mean that a person was raised by wealthy parents, had everything handed to them, and didn’t have to do much other than show up.

---

Privilege means that some of us have advantages over others for any number of reasons we don’t control — like who we are, where we come from, the color of our skin, or certain things that have happened in our lives.

Even when things haven’t come easy for some people, they can still have privileges that others don’t have.

Illustrator Toby Morris did some thinking about the concept of inequality and privilege, and he found one major problem.

He did a lot of research to learn about it, but as he started to really understand privilege, he found that a lot of the information about privilege felt very academic and technical. He felt it was important to “talk about this heavy stuff in a really simple and clear way,” Morris explained to me in an email interview.

That’s what led him to create and illustrate this incredible comic on privilege for the The Wireless.

He did an amazing job. Check it out:

This comic is property of The Wireless, where it originally appeared. It’s shared here with permission.

This is a great way to explain privilege to someone who’s having a hard time understanding — or someone who doesn’t want to recognize it.

“Comics are very human and accessible — they’re non-threatening and quite inviting to a reader,” Morris said. “It’s a lot less daunting than picking up a giant book or trying to decipher a really long or really dense article.”

True story.

Make no mistake: Morris isn’t taking away from hard work in his comic.

“I’m not trying to say I’m against that idea that if we work hard, we succeed,” he said. “I would like to think that is true, for the most part, but I just think people often forget or don’t realise that our starting points, or our paths to success, aren’t all even. Some people have to overcome more obstacles in the path to succeeding than others.“

He was also quick to point out that this isn’t about anyone needing to feel bad or guilty for the privileges that they have, but rather it’s about honesty and understanding — because maybe that’s what could lead us to a better place.

“Acknowledging the issue is one step towards addressing it hopefully,” he said.

Ultimately, success — or lack thereof — can be about hard work and other factors, some of which are beyond our control.

A lot of people have been able to relate to this comic — both sides of it — and have reached out to Morris to share.

“Personally, I’ve grown up somewhere in the middle,” he said. Because his dad was in the army, Morris moved around a lot as a kid. “I experienced a lot of different neighbourhoods and schools and friendship groups — some well off, some not so much — and that experience lead me to this belief that ultimately people are all pretty similar wherever you go, we just don’t all have the same chances in life.”

The Tennessee Titans entered Sunday needing a win to stay two games up on the Jacksonville Jaguars in the AFC South after the Jags pulled off a wild comeback win over the Cowboys in overtime on a pick-six to close things out.

Tennessee’s job was equally as difficult on the road against the Chargers as a three-point underdog, made even harder after Ryan Tannehill suffered an ankle injury in the first quarter that took some mobility away. That shifted further pressure on the defense to make plays and they did just that at the end of the half to preserve a 7-7 tie with one of the most impressive interceptions of the season as Roger McCreary caught a ball leaping out of bounds and was able to toss it back to Joshua Kalu in the end zone for a turnover.

It’s unbelievable awareness and body control from McCreary to high point the ball, realize he was drifting out of bounds, spot Kalu, and pitch him the ball before coming down.

That play helped keep Tennessee tied at 7-7 going into the half as they look to keep Jacksonville at arm’s length in the division, which figures to be the only path to the playoffs for AFC South teams this year.

One of the biggest blockbusters of the summer were the Jan. 6 hearings, where a House select committee made public numerous jaw-dropping revelations about Donald Trump’s antics before, during, and after the storming of the Capitol. What’s next? That remains to be seen. On Monday, the committee will hold its final meeting, during which they’ll issue any criminal referrals they see fit. At least one of their members is all for going for the big guy himself.

Adam Schiff, the Democratic California congressman and of Trump’s most relentless critics, appeared on CNN Sunday. He told host Jake Tapper that he “can’t comment” on specifics of what’s in store. But he could tell him what he thought should happen.

“I think that the evidence is there that Trump committed criminal offenses in connection with his efforts to overturn the election,” said Schiff, the committee’s chair. “And viewing it as a former prosecutor, I think there’s sufficient evidence to charge the [former] president.”

The committee can’t itself bring about any convictions. But they can pass on their recommendations to those who can.

“Well, I don’t know what the justice department has. I do know what’s in the public record. The evidence seems pretty plain to me, but I would want to see the full body of evidence, if I were in the prosecutor’s shoes, to make a decision,” Schiff explained. “But this is someone, who in multiple ways, tried to pressure state officials to find votes that didn’t exist. This is someone who tried to interfere with a joint session, even inciting a mob to attack the Capitol.

“If that’s not criminal, then – then I don’t know what it is.”

If Trump is the subject of a criminal referral, it will only add to his Scooby Doo-sized sandwich of woes. The former president’s third presidential campaign has gotten off to a rocky start, plagued by scandals over his dinner guests, his legal woes, not to mention his, well, many other legal woes. But at least he made a couple bucks off some crappy ass NFTs that even his die-hards think are lame.

(Via The Guardian)

Plastic has been taking over our world for a while now.

You may not think too much about it, but plastic is a global crisis. A recent rundown in The National Review reveals that more than 8 million tons of plastic is regularly deposited in the ocean. It’s killing sea life, endangering coral reefs, and affecting the fish we eat because of the toxins they ingest.

So much for a happy, carefree day, right?

But there’s some good news on the horizon: Scientists have found a mutant bacteria that eats plastic.

Of course, this mutant bacteria isn’t exactly like the kind of mutants you see in movies and comic books. Although, I’ll admit I initially thought, “Good! Someone’s finally getting Storm to handle this whole climate change business.” How cool would that be?

So maybe Professor X isn’t coming out of hiding to help us with our global problems, but the reality of this news is just as exciting. According to The Guardian, an international team of scientists have mutated a bacteria’s enzyme to fully break down plastic bottles.

The plastic-eating bacteria was first discovered in 2016 in Japan. Researchers studying plastic pollution — specifically polyethylene terephthalate or PET — discovered a colony of bacteria that fed on the plastic, breaking down strong chemical bonds as a means of survival. The bacteria back then, though, was eating through highly crystallized PET — the material plastic bottles are made of — at a slow rate. Researchers knew it would take a while for the bacteria to evolve into the environmental savior we need.

Scientists started studying the bacteria’s evolution and discovered they’d unintentionally made it stronger.

“It’s alive! It’s alive!” they screamed. That’s how I imagine the discovery of this mutated bacteria enzyme went, with all the blinking lights and klaxons of a superhero movie. That’s what happens in labs, right?

Well, that’s how it should have gone. Because this is exciting! After viewing a 3D model of the bacteria, scientists discovered that small modifications could make its enzymes much more effective. The BBC reports that PET takes “hundreds of years” to break down on its own, but with the modified enzyme, called PETase, the same process begins within a matter of days. The enzyme breaks down PET to its original building blocks, meaning that the plastic can be reused again without losing quality.

Here’s why this is important: You may think plastic bottles are recycled into new plastic bottles and that every bottle you drink from had a rich and beautiful life before it came to you, but that’s not true. In 2017, BuzzFeed reported that Coca-Cola sourced only 7% of its plastic from recycled material and only 6% of Nestle’s bottles were made from recycled plastic. The rest of all that single-use plastic being dumped is turned into other fibers like carpet and clothing.

This is because plastics degrade as they’re recycled. “Bottles become fleeces, then carpets, after which they often end up in landfill,” the BBC notes.

But PETase makes it possible to use PET in its original form over and over again.

We’re only at the beginning of this development.

On one hand, PETase could bring us closer to true recycling (producing much less plastic and using much less fossil fuel) than ever before. But the research has only started. The breaking down process still needs to be made faster, so it could be years before PETase or anything like it is used on an industrial scale.

While scientists keep working to make PETase a worldwide plastic problem-solver, we can all do our part by reducing our reliance on plastic. Little things — like a reusable bottle for the gym, keeping metal utensils at work, and reusable bags and totes for trips to the store — can help keep the Earth clean, save animals, and make us a little less reliant on mutants (er, mutant enzymes) to save the day.

This article originally appeared on 04.30.18

Goodness, have our views on the internet changed!

When I first got dial-up, I was 14, it was 1998, and AOL was all about taking over the world (if not with connectivity then at least with the 700 CDs they sent to your house each month). My parents had two rules: Don’t tie up the phone lines (broken immediately), and never meet someone from online that you don’t already know.

Years later, as an adult with a cable modem, their advice seems pretty dated. In fact, society’s gone from never meeting strangers online to doing all our dating on Tinder and asking people we’ve never known to give us rides from one place to another. Our only requirements? That they be nearby and have at least a 4.7 driver rating. (This is only for adults, though! Don’t let your kids meet strangers from Minecraft!)

---

Friendships have changed as well.

For years, everyone debated whether the people you talk to online — in chat, in games, on Skype — were actual friends or just people behind a computer screen. Now, some of our best pals are those we know from online, proving that humans can connect across states, countries, and oceans.

Want more (very adorable) proof? Here’s a video of two lifelong friends who are meeting in person for the first time.

This story, which started on Reddit and has now gone viral nearly everywhere, goes something like this: Reddit user Core330 (Corey Walker) and his best friend live hours and hours away from each other. So they Skype. And since they both have daughters, they’ve introduced the kids — Kylie and Jalyssa — via internet as well. The result? A four-year friendship that’s been screen-only.

Then something amazing happened. After years of trying to make a real-life meeting happen, Walker and Jalyssa drove down to meet Kylie for her birthday. The twist? Neither Jalyssa nor Kylie knew it was happening. What followed was an adorable surprise that — well, just have some tissues handy.

Look what happened:

See on Instagram

Just kidding: Here’s the real, heart-warming video. Note how it starts with the most important question: “Are you real?” (Always ask that! You never know when it’s just a lizard person trying to fool you into a state of false security!)

You ever see a hug that long? I gotta take off early and go sit in a park and contemplate life or something.”

Kylie and Jalyssa got to spend the night together, and it appears that their friendship has only grown stronger. They found (nice, friendly, platonic) love in an online place, and it seems like the recipe for a lifelong friendship. They even wore matching pajamas!

See on Instagram

Never underestimate the power of friendship.

Of course, the internet loves Kylie and Jalyssa. They’ve made it onto “Today” and both regular folks and luminaries have been loving it (Marc. A Cherry said it was the best thing any of us would see today). One Reddit user even talked about how they’d been questioning how hard their life had been before they saw the video. Watching two little girls have their dreams come true, though? It made it all worth it. “I needed this,” the user wrote. Didn’t we all?

In the spirit of this adorable video, maybe take a second to reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while today. Or call up someone who you love. After all, if there’s anything these best friends should inspire, it’s a reminder to tell the people in your life how wonderful and important they are. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something in my eye. (It’s tears, OK? It’s tears.)

World Cup fans (and sports fans in general) can finally sigh in relief: Argentina has broken the “Drake Curse” and won the 2022 FIFA World Cup. But that’s where Drake‘s luck ends.

After it was announced that the Canadian rap star would be betting around $1 million on Argentina in their game against France for the World Cup finals, fans were immediately put on edge. But have no fear. Argentina beat France, which would be great for the rapper. Unfortunately he still wound up losing due to a technicality: Drake bet the Latin American country would win before halftime, but he lost thanks to France’s Kylian Mbappé’s last-minute goal before the penalty shootout.

The match ended 3-3 after extra time as Argentina went head to head in a dramatic shootout, winning it 4-2.

For years, a curse has seemed to follow the rapper whenever he expresses his love for certain athletes or teams. He has a terrible track record for making sporting bets — one of the few things he doesn’t appear to be good at.

There have been quite a few notable moments in sports history where specific teams and athletes have fallen victim to the “Drake curse,” including The University of Alabama, who lost 44-16 to the Clemson Tigers after the rapper shared a video working out while wearing a hoodie in Roll Tide support. Then there’s Conor McGregor, who lost his fight in a fourth round submission to Russian fighter Khabib Nurmagomedov after McGregor shared a picture with him in 2018.

How was your weekend? Did you relax before the holiday rush? Did you mourn the sudden departure of Cecily Strong from SNL? Or did you spend it making your already chaotic social media service even battier? If it was the latter, then congrats: You’re Elon Musk, the second richest person on the planet. The Tesla/SpaceX dude is a month-and-a-half into his headache-inducing tenure as lord of Twitter, and over the weekend he was evidently in a pissy rage, briefly suspending yet another journalist’s account and enacting a new rule even his predecessor thought was weird.

First up is Taylor Lorenz, the Washington Post tech reporter who’s become the scourge of the far right, as well as the increasingly right-ish owner of Twitter. Last week, Musk temporarily suspended a number of reporters’ accounts, accusing them of doxing the location of him and his family. (They didn’t.)

One person spared was Lorenz — but turns out he was saving her ban for later. On Saturday her account was frozen without explanation and despite her not having shared any links that could even be interpreted as doxing. Lorenz had even wiped her feed clean of all but a few anodyne posts. Musk later explained he had it banned due to her past doxing, specifically revealing the identity of the rightwing extremist account “Libs of TikTok.” The next day, however, Lorenz was back on Twitter.

So that was fun. But even more fun was this: On Sunday, the Twitter Support account unveiled a new rule prohibiting users from linking to other social media services, including Facebook, Instagram, Donald Trump’s rink-dink Twitter clone, and places that have become popular Twitter alternatives, like Mastodon and Post. Even Nostr, the new decentralized service set up by Twitter founder Jack Dorsey, is now verboten.

It’s a pretty severe new rule, and it even takes into account clever workarounds. For instance, if a tweet spells out a link — e.g., Mastodon dot com — said tweet can be deleted. Ditto posts that include screenshots. (If you’re wondering if this will affect the aforementioned “Libs of TikTok,” whose entire gimmick is linking to another social media service, the answer is no, as TikTok is not one of the outlawed services, yet.) He’s also reportedly planning on removing accounts he feels exist solely to link to now restricted rivals.

Like almost all of Musk’s decisions, the move was widely dragged by users of Twitter. Among them was Dorsey himself, who had two comments: “Why?” and “doesn’t make sense.”

Perhaps the reason for the move is because Musk wants to make it harder for people to flee elsewhere, especially given all the people he’s been recklessly banning then un-banning. One good way to stop a potential mass exodus, of course, is for Musk to stop acting the way he has been.

(Via Time and The Verge)

The Cowboys went on the road to face the Jaguars on Sunday, looking to keep slim hopes of winning the division alive as they needed a win to keep pace with the Eagles (who escaped a tough test from the Bears.

Early on it looked like they might be on their way to another dominant win, taking a 21-7 lead into halftime, but Trevor Lawrence led a furious second half comeback to force overtime. After the Jags were unable to do anything on the opening possession of overtime after winning the coin toss, Dallas found itself with a chance to win on a field goal. After moving the ball out near midfield, Dak Prescott looked to hit Noah Brown on a 3rd-and-4 crossing route at the sticks, but the ball bounced out of the hands of Brown and directly into the waiting arms of Rayshawn Jenkins for his second interception of the day and the game-winning pick-six as there were no Cowboys able to get between Jenkins and the end zone.

It was a wild finish to a crazy game that say Lawrence throw three touchdowns to Zay Jones, Prescott lead the Cowboys back in front on a late touchdown march, and then Lawrence set up the game-tying field goal with an impressive one-minute drill. With the win, the Jaguars move to 6-8 and pull to 1.5 games back of the Titans for the AFC South lead, keeping their playoff dreams alive for another week. The Cowboys, meanwhile, see the Eagles move to three games ahead with three games to go, all but assuring them of a Wild Card spot and a road game to open the playoffs.

It looks likeH.E.R.’s trademark shades aren’t the only thing the Grammy-award-wining singer is shedding. During a recent interview, the singer revealed that she is in a “new chapter “of her life and has plans to shed her musical alias. H.E.R., whose real name is Gabriella Wilson, stopped by Good Morning America to discuss her recent role as the bookish Belle in ABC’s Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration and how the part has allowed her to redefine herself.

“I’ve been re-finding my voice,” the singer said. “Now I’m not wearing glasses. I can’t be acting and wearing glasses, so I think it’s time for people to really get to know the person behind H.E.R.”

“H.E.R. is me, but at the same time, it’s a new chapter of my life, and I think I’m really finding that connection, and I’m allowing people to see under the layers a little bit,” she continued.

Later in the clip, Wilson, who is Black and Filipino, opened up about the significance of being a woman of color cast as Belle, who has historically been portrayed as white in the cartoon.

“I never thought I could be a Disney princess,” she said. “Of course, every little girl wants to be a Disney princess, but I’ve never seen one that looks like me — so I get to be that to little girls now.”