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This story originally appeared on 02.13.20

There’s a lot of men out there that shy away from discussing menstruation with women. But any man who’s ever taken a class in basic human biology or had a mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or any other woman in their life should know the basics of how it works.

That’s why a mother on the Mumsnet message board was completely “shocked” that her daughter’s teacher told her to “hold in” her period.

Does he think a woman can hold in her period like it’s pee?

Mumsnet is a UK website where parents come together to discuss anything from adoption to women’s rights. This post appeared under the “Am I Being Unreasonable” thread.

via Mumsnet

According to the post, the 15-year-old’s teacher prevented her from using the bathroom because he legitimately thinks women can hold back period blood. Or he knows a bit about biology but still decided to put her in the position to be mortally embarrassed.

The mother later said that the lessons last two hours so the girl had a long time to wait before being able to change her pad.

A few parents said that the teacher was correct to say no because students often lie about their periods to get out of class.

But most parents thought the teacher did the wrong thing and needs a lesson in basic biology.

One poster was irate but completely right about the issue.

Another believes the daughter should have disobeyed the teacher and gone to the bathroom.

This poster did a great job at re-framing the situation so that the teacher’s actions seem even more ridiculous.

Why should the mother even have to justify herself?

The $50,000 question: What subject does the instructor teach?

This article originally appeared on 07.21.17

When your toddler has a meltdown, it’s perfectly natural to want to fly off the handle.

There’s nothing more infuriating than a small human repeatedly demanding something that’s physically impossible for you to give them, or wailing because you had to punish them after repeatedly telling them to knock it off.

“I CREATED YOU, YOU LITTLE MONSTER. I CAN DESTROY YOU,” you might want to say (though you never would). You love your kids — of course you do — but damn if they aren’t the best at pushing you to your breaking point.

As tempting as it may be to raise your voice, yell, and keep ramping up the punishment to ridiculous levels, some parenting experts say there’s a much better option.

Vanessa Lapointe, a mom and professional psychologist, suggests something called “discipline without damage.”

Lapointe defines this practice, sometimes called “compassionate parenting,” as an intervention that reinforces connection, not separation — in other words, staying calm and kind while setting firm boundaries for kids in a way that doesn’t dampen their spirits or preach obedience above all else.

This isn’t just some new-agey, feel good stuff: Lapointe says it’s all based on science and the way children’s brains develop.

“Our job as parents is to grow up children who are hardy. Not children who are hardened,” she explained in an essay for The Huffington Post. “Children who are hardy can weather the storms of life. Children who are hardened cannot, and instead tend to shut down and have ineffective coping strategies.”

Lapointe recently released a nifty “Discipline Cheat Sheet” that offers some simple changes to the words we use when faced with a meltdown that can completely change the tenor of the situation for the better.

Here’s how this technique might play out.

Say your toddler colored on the wall with bright green crayon.

Instead of screeching something along the lines of “What were you thinking?!??!” Lapointe recommends using a kind and compassionate tone and saying something more like, “You know I don’t want you coloring on the walls. We need to get this cleaned up.”

“No!” your kid might respond, with a stomp of a tiny foot. “I don’t want to!”

“Come on,” you say, keeping your voice calm. “I’ll show you where the cleaning supplies are and help you get started.”

Now, ideally, that would be enough. Your toddler would calm down and gladly help you clean the walls. When it comes to toddlers, however, parents know things are rarely that easy.

What if by then he’s too upset and has thrown himself to the ground in protest, banging fists against the floor? Instead of finally breaking and losing your temper, it’s time to try a different tactic from the cheat sheet.

“I can see this is tricky for you. We’re going to solve this later. Let’s get a drink of water,” you can say.

He may agree or not. But eventually, he will calm down (every parent knows that they always do), and you can show him how to get the crayon off the wall.

When the wall is finally clean, turn to him and say, “Let’s find a better place to keep your coloring supplies so this doesn’t happen again.”

The whole conflict may take a while, and you may have to go back to the cheat sheet to try many of these different techniques, but in the end, you get what you want (a clean wall) without yelling at, frightening, or physically forcing your toddler to clean it up. At the same time, your kid learns that their actions have consequences.

The reality is that most toddlers are nearly psychologically incapable of impulse control. No amount of yelling or being a strict disciplinarian can change the wiring of their brains. And though the phrases in the chart above are best for young children, the same principles of compassionate parenting apply to older kids, too.

The chart has been shared far and wide across the web, though Lapointe’s approach isn’t without its critics.

Some parents worry that her recommendations feel an awful lot like “helicopter parenting” and isn’t strong enough to teach kids about independence and feeling the consequences of their actions.

Lapointe says these people are missing the point. She spells out the difference:

“The hoverer is worried, nervous, and uncertain, and prevents their child from ever having to come to terms with the things in life that simply cannot be. The provider is confident, all-knowing, and in charge, and supports the child in regulating around their upset in coming to terms with the things in life that cannot be. “

She urges parents to remember that kids are kids and not to expect them to understand the world as adults do.

Compassionate parenting is more than just a few handy phrases.

The phrases on Lapointe’s cheat sheet are a great first step for reframing the way we react when our kids start misbehaving, but they’re not the only tool a compassionate parent can keep in their back pocket. For parents looking for an alternative to punishment and escalating behavior, however, Lapointe’s cheat sheet could be just the help they need to stay calm in the face of a toddler tornado.

Though easier said than done, a simple, “Come here, I’ve got you,” could be exactly what your kid needs to hear.

This article originally appeared on 07.28.17

Parents — especially those with multiple kids — know the phrase: “Oof, you must have your hands full!”

It’s a common refrain from strangers who see us out and about.

Sometimes it even comes along with an “I feel sorry for you,” if you’re really lucky.

While it’s a mostly harmless comment meant to show admiration, it struck a nerve with one mom when a stranger in Walmart dished it out to her while she shopped with her three kids.

Courtney Lester took to Facebook to share how she wishes she had responded to the man who told her he felt “sorry” for her.

After all, dealing with those raucous kids (who were riding quietly in the cart) must be such a burden!

For starters, Lester wrote, never comment on the size of someone’s family — more than likely, you don’t know the whole story.

“What you can’t tell is that I lost 2 babies before being blessed with my last 2,” she wrote. “So if you want to feel sorry for me, there’s the only reason why you should.”

With as many as 20% of pregnancies ending in miscarriage, it’s best to never assume.

But the even bigger takeaway from Lester: Raising kids is hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s a burden.

In fact, quite the opposite. Doctors initially told Lester she likely wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again after having her first child, so she knows a thing or two about being appreciative of all the little moments, the ups and downs, the long days, and the laughs and the tears along the way.

“Some days, I can’t wait for bedtime. My children keep me on my toes and one of them always needs something, but I have never viewed them as an inconvenience or a reason for someone to ‘feel sorry’ for me. Even on days when they won’t listen, have meltdowns, and when it seems like nothing I do is good enough, I have never felt sorry for myself and I don’t expect others to either. If having 3 kids automatically makes my hands full, so be it… But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is more full than my hands could ever be.“

Judging by the overwhelming response to her post, which has gone viral with over 22,000 Likes on Facebook, she’s not the only parent around who wouldn’t trade her little rascals for anything.

Even a judgment-free stroll through Walmart.

This article originally appeared on 07.28.21

Simone Biles withdrawing from the team final in the Tokyo Olympics and subsequently withdrawing from the individual all-around finals after getting a case of the “twisties” has the world talking. She’s received overwhelming support as well as overwhelming criticism for the move, with some praising her for recognizing her limits and others blasting her for not persevering through whatever she’s dealing with.

Some people pointed to Kerri Strug, who landed on one foot after vaulting with a broken ankle in the 1996 Olympics to help the U.S. win gold, as an example of the kind of sacrifice an athlete should be willing to make for their country.

Byron Heath shared some thoughts about that fateful day in a viral Facebook post that has been shared more than 370,000 times in less than a day.

Heath wrote:

“This realization I had about Simone Biles is gonna make some people mad, but oh well.

Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug’s famous one-leg vault. It was a defining Olympic moment that I watched live as a kid, and my girls watched raptly as Strug fell, and then limped back to leap again.

But for some reason I wasn’t as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick. Maybe being a father and teacher has made me soft, but all I could see was how Kerri Strug looked at her coach, Bela Karolyi, with pleading, terrified eyes, while he shouted back ‘You can do it!’ over and over again.

My daughters didn’t cheer when Strug landed her second vault. Instead they frowned in concern as she collapsed in agony and frantic tears.

‘Why did she jump again if she was hurt?’ one of my girls asked. I made some inane reply about the heart of a champion or Olympic spirit, but in the back of my mind a thought was festering: *She shouldn’t have jumped again*

The more the thought echoed, the stronger my realization became. Coach Karolyi should have gotten his visibly injured athlete medical help immediately! Now that I have two young daughters in gymnastics, I expect their safety to be the coach’s number one priority. Instead, Bela Karolyi told Strug to vault again. And he got what he wanted; a gold medal that was more important to him than his athlete’s health. I’m sure people will say ‘Kerri Strug was a competitor–she WANTED to push through the injury.’ That’s probably true. But since the last Olympics we’ve also learned these athletes were put into positions where they could be systematically abused both emotionally and physically, all while being inundated with ‘win at all costs’ messaging. A teenager under those conditions should have been protected, and told ‘No medal is worth the risk of permanent injury.’ In fact, we now know that Strug’s vault wasn’t even necessary to clinch the gold; the U.S. already had an insurmountable lead.

Nevertheless, Bela Karolyi told her to vault again according to his own recounting of their conversation:

‘I can’t feel my leg,’ Strug told Karolyi.

‘We got to go one more time,’ Karolyi said. ‘Shake it out.’

‘Do I have to do this again?’ Strug asked. ‘Can you, can you?’ Karolyi wanted to know.

‘I don’t know yet,’ said Strug. ‘I will do it. I will, I will.’

The injury forced Strug’s retirement at 18 years old. Dominique Moceanu, a generational talent, also retired from injuries shortly after. They were top gymnasts literally pushed to the breaking point, and then put out to pasture. Coach Karolyi and Larry Nassar (the serial sexual abuser) continued their long careers, while the athletes were treated as a disposable resource.

Today Simone Biles–the greatest gymnast of all time–chose to step back from the competition, citing concerns for mental and physical health. I’ve already seen comments and posts about how Biles ‘failed her country’, ‘quit on us’, or ‘can’t be the greatest if she can’t handle the pressure.’ Those statements are no different than Coach Karolyi telling an injured teen with wide, frightened eyes: ‘We got to go one more time. Shake it out.’

The subtext here is: ‘Our gold medal is more important than your well-being.’

Our athletes shouldn’t have to destroy themselves to meet our standards. If giving empathetic, authentic support to our Olympians means we’ll earn less gold medals, I’m happy to make that trade.

Here’s the message I hope we can send to Simone Biles: You are an outstanding athlete, a true role model, and a powerful woman. Nothing will change that. Please don’t sacrifice your emotional or physical well-being for our entertainment or national pride. We are proud of you for being brave enough to compete, and proud of you for having the wisdom to know when to step back. Your choice makes you an even better example to our daughters than you were before. WE’RE STILL ROOTING FOR YOU!”

Many people shared Heath’s sentiment, with comments pouring in thanking him for putting words to what they were feeling.

We’re in a new era where our lens of what’s admirable, what’s strong, and what’s right has shifted. We understand more about the lifelong impact of too many concussions. We have trainers and medics checking on football players after big hits. We are finding a better balance between competitiveness and well-being. We are acknowledging the importance of mental health and physical health.

We are also more aware of how both physical and mental trauma impacts young bodies. Though Kerri Strug pushing through the pain has long been seen as an iconic moment in sports, the adults in the room should have been protecting her, not pushing her through an obvious injury.

And the way this fall of Dominique Moceanu at age 14 was handled is downright shocking by today’s standards. She said she never received an exam for it, even after the competition was over. So wrong.

u201cIn our sport, we essentially dive into a pool w/ no water. When you lose your ability to find the groundu2014which appears to be part of @Simone_Biles decisionu2014-the consequences can be catastrophic. She made the right decision for the team & herself. @bispingu201d

— Dominique Moceanu (@Dominique Moceanu)
1627483863

“@Carolinafan0279 @Simone_Biles Nope 👎🏻”

u201c@Carolinafan0279 @Simone_Biles Nope ud83dudc4eud83cudffbu201d

— Dominique Moceanu (@Dominique Moceanu)
1627483863

Athletes are not cogs in a wheel, and the desire to win a competition should not trump someone’s well-being. Elite gymnasts already put themselves through grueling physical and mental feats; they wouldn’t be at the top of their sport if they didn’t. But there are limits, and too often in our yearning for a gold medal—or even for a triumphant Olympic story—we push athletes too far.

Now we see some of them pushing back, and knowing what we know now, that’s 100% a good thing.

This article originally appeared on 02.24.21

It’s amazing to consider just how quickly the world has changed over the past 11 months. If you were to have told someone in February 2020 that the entire country would be on some form of lockdown, nearly everyone would be wearing a mask, and half a million people were going to die due to a virus, no one would have believed you.

Yet, here we are.

PPE masks were the last thing on Leah Holland of Georgetown, Kentucky’s mind on March 4, 2020, when she got a tattoo inspired by the words of a close friend.

“We were just talking about things we admire about each other and he said, ‘You courageously and radically refuse to wear a mask,’ like meaning that I’m undeniably myself. I thought that was a really poetic way of saying that,” Holland told Fox 13.

So, she had “courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask” tattooed on her left forearm. It’s a beautiful sentiment about Leah’s dedication to being her true self. It’s also a reminder for Leah to remain true to herself throughout her life.

However, the tattoo would come to have a very different meaning just two days later when the first case of COVID-19 was reported in Kentucky.

“It basically looked like I’m totally, you know, anti-mask or whatever, which is not the case,” said Holland.

Now, she was embarrassed to be seen with the tattoo for fear she’d be associated with the anti-maskers who either deny the existence of the virus or refuse to wear a mask to protect others. Either way, it’s a bad look.

So Leah started wearing long-sleeve shirts and cardigan sweaters whenever in public to cover up the tattoo.

On Monday, TikTok users asked each other to share their “dumbest tattoo” and she was pretty sure she had the winner.

In her video, she talks about how her tattoo was about “not pretending to be something you’re not,” but then revealed it to show how — after a historical twist — it made her out to be someone she isn’t.

“I just kind of wanted people to laugh with me because I think it’s funny now, too,” said Holland.

Plenty of people on TikTok laughed along with her with one user suggesting she update the tattoo with the phrase: “Hindsight is 2020.”

“I was dying laughing. I’m like, I’m glad there are people that find this as funny as I think it is,” said Holland.

“It will be a funny story to tell years from now,” she said. “I don’t think it will ever not be a funny story.”

Unfortunately, even when the pandemic is over, Leah will still probably have to explain her tattoo. Because most won’t soon forget the COVID-19 era in America and there’s no doubt many will still feel passionate about those who refused to wear a mask.

When the Nets fired Steve Nash last Tuesday, there was immediately speculation followed by firm reporting that former Nets assistant and currently suspended Celtics head coach Ime Udoka would be his replacement.

It wasn’t shocking considering his connections to Brooklyn, but given the Nets already are trying to put out one off-court fire with the now-suspended Kyrie Irving, adding Udoka to the mix with there still being a great deal of unknown about the specifics of the incident in Boston that led to his suspension seemed like an additional headache to deal with. At the time, it was expected for a Udoka deal to be done by the end of the week, but it’s now nearly a week later and no hire has been made.

As for what the hold up is, it appears Nets owner Joe Tsai has been asked to at least reconsider Udoka’s hiring by some “strong voices” according to Marc Stein, and he seems to be taking that to heart.

It would be a fascinating backtrack for a few reasons, not the least of which being the timing of Nash’s firing seemed to be coordinated with at least the understanding Udoka might take over quickly. Considering how quickly the reports came out about the Nets trying to finalize a deal, it’s hard to imagine that all just happened in an hour after Nash was fired. Instead, they’re now just going forward with Jacque Vaughn as the interim (again), and it’s possible their search drags on much longer than expected.

As for who the “strong voices” are asking Tsai to maybe take a different approach, the first thing that comes to mind is that this request is coming from the league office who probably are already very displeased with how the Nets handled the Kyrie Irving fiasco in the week between him posting the link to the antisemitic movie on Twitter to his eventual suspension. We’ll see if Udoka is eventually the choice, but the league and the Nets may not be looking to add another off-court storyline as his hiring would surely lead to more digging around about his suspension and his relationship with a woman on the Celtics staff.

Eminem dropped “Stan” featuring Dido on his 2000 album The Marshall Mathers LP, and the single chronicled “his biggest fan” named Stan trying to reach him and becoming increasingly unhinged in his efforts. In 2015, Ed Sheeran shared a story about his dad buying him The Marshall Mathers LP when he was nine and how memorizing it helped him with his stutter. But as big of a fan as Sheeran was, he never wanted to come across like one to Em.

Last year, Sheeran explained in an Apple Music interview that he declined Rick Rubin’s offer years ago to be introduced to Eminem because he wanted “to get to the point where Eminem wants to meet me,” as relayed by Billboard at the time. They were naturally drawn to each other, eventually collaborating on hits like “River” and “Remember The Name” and developing a pure friendship. It all came full circle at last night’s (November 5) Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame 2022 induction ceremony in Los Angeles when Sheeran joined Em on the Microsoft Theater stage to perform “Stan.” Em was separately joined by Steven Tyler during his electric performance medley.

Eminem was inducted into the Rock Hall by Dr. Dre. During Em’s speech, he thanked a long list of artists who helped mold him into a groundbreaking rapper. He also credited music for saving his life and reflected on his near-fatal drug overdose in 2007, according to HotNewHipHop.

The 2022 inductee class in the performers category was rounded out by Carly Simon, Dolly Parton, Duran Duran, Eurythmics, Lionel Richie, and Pat Benatar. An edited version of the ceremony will air on HBO on November 19.

Ed Sheeran is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Donald Trump once infamously declared that “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” and few people have ever thought to challenge the statement. Just one month before the 2016 election, audio leaked of the one-time reality TV star bragging about grabbing women “by the p***y,” yet he went on to win. Given the many atrocities the former president has inflicted upon the American people over the past several years — including allegedly inciting the January 6th insurrection that resulted in the deaths of nearly 10 people (not to mention at least 928 arrests) — many people assumed there was simply no line the former The Apprentice host could cross to alienate his followers… until now.

On Saturday, as Insider reports, Trump was in Pennsylvania stumping for fellow Republicans like senatorial candidate/New Jersey Boy Dr. Mehmet Oz when he debuted one of the childish nicknames he often likes to bestow on his enemies and opponents, and in this case that was Florida governor Ron DeSantis — or, in Trumpspeak, “Ron DeSanctimonious,” which: 1. He clearly didn’t come up with on his own, as “sanctimonious” is a five-syllable word and 2. Might not be the insult Trump intended as the “De” in front of his name seems to imply the negative. But we’ll assume that Trump doesn’t put this same sort of deep thinking into his cutesy little monikers.

If it sounded off-the-cuff to anyone in the audience, The New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has got news for you: He’s been testing it out for weeks, which to many is a sure sign that Trump fully expects to be facing off against DeSantis should he finally announce his intention to run for president again in 2024.

If it’s true that Trump has been beta-testing the appellation, one thing he may not have previously encountered — or expected — was the immense backlash he received from it. As The Daily Beast reports, within hours of Trump declaring the Florida Man “DeSanctimonious,” a number of longtime MAGA allies and supporters seemed to have turned on their former leader.

Piers Morgan took a few minutes away from obsessing over Meghan Markle to weigh in, calling it a “bizarre decision for Trump to mock DeSantis right before the mid-terms,” while others made their preference for Trump vs. DeSantis painfully clear.

Though a Trump spokesperson did not reply to The Daily Beast’s request for comment on Saturday night, the site previously reported — courtesy of a Trump adviser — that “Trump’s going to end up doing to DeSantis and his wife what he did to Cruz and his wife.”

(Via The Daily Beast)

The Los Angeles Lakers are hosting the Cleveland Cavaliers on Sunday afternoon (November 6), but LeBron James’ heart is with beloved Atlanta rapper Takeoff (real name Kirshnik Khari Ball), 28, who died in the early hours of Tuesday, November 1. The prominent Migos member was fatally shot while attending a private event with Quavo at 810 Billiards & Bowling in Houston. A suspect has yet to be identified in the shooting, which happened following an altercation.

James first changed his Instagram profile picture to Takeoff shortly after news of his tragic death broke. In the photo, Takeoff was donning dark sunglasses, a classic black suit and tie, and an icy chain. Sunday, James arrived to LA’s Crypto.com Arena wearing the exact same outfit.

“If you know me any then [sic] you know how much I love @yrntakeoff!!” James captioned his Instagram post. “Still doesn’t feel real to me . Rest in Paradise Rocket Man !!”

In September 2021, acclaimed broadcaster Taylor Rooks asked Quavo, Takeoff’s uncle, about James’ blatant Migos fandom and how the four-time NBA champion always seems to get unreleased music.

“It’s organic,” Quavo said. “And then, if we’re just feeling the vibe, I know he needs music — sometimes he needs that unreleased music because he in the lab when nobody see it. He in the lab when everybody thinking that he on vacation. So, same way with music. We got songs, we got records in our phone. You might think we doing a show. We got another hit ready to go. You just gotta get ’em geared up like that on some exclusive time.”

Last month, Quavo and Takeoff released their Only Built For Infinity Links album as it became clearer that they planned to move forward as a duo without Offset, the third Migos member. Offset honored Takeoff by changing his Instagram icon to a photo of his late cousin. He reportedly canceled a scheduled show in Boston in the wake of Takeoff’s death. Quavo’s 23-year-old assistant, Joshua “Wash” Washington, is reportedly one of two people who suffered non-life-threatening injuries during the shooting.

Tributes to Takeoff, especially in the music world, have been flooding the internet this week. Also on Sunday, Minnesota Vikings cornerbacks Cam Dantzler and Patrick Peterson wore customized graphic tees honoring Takeoff before the NFL’s Week 9 action kicked off.

The Chargers and Falcons are two franchises best known for their ability to find unique ways to lose football games, which is why Sunday’s meeting between the two was so intriguing for real NFL sickos.

The two teams managed to live up to the hype (if you can call it that) as neither team seemed to want to win the game. Each team had multiple hilarious turnovers, often in succession, including a third quarter sequence where Khalil Mack ripped the ball out of Drake London’s hands at the 5 and then the Chargers immediately threw an interception after hitting a wide open receiver in the helmet.

That was just the appetizer for one of the dumbest sequences of football you will ever see. L.A., simply trying to run clock and set up the game-winning field goal, handed it off to Austin Ekeler, who couldn’t help but try to reach out for the first down despite that really not being necessary with Atlanta unable to stop the clock and inside 40 seconds to play. As he reached the ball out, he fumbled and the ball rolled to Ta’Quon Graham, who scooped it and took off up the sideline, hoping to set up a winning field goal attempt for the Falcons, until he just straight up dropped the football at the 40, with the Chargers recovering.

It’s honestly unbelievable and if you wrote it into a script about these two teams it’d get thrown out for being too on the nose. The Chargers would take advantage of the reprieve, with Justin Herbert finding a receiver on a corner route to push L.A. back into field goal range, where Cameron Dicker punched home the winning kick to mercifully end a very dumb football game.