Kanye West’s Paris Fashion Week show for YZY season nine was already controversial thanks to his confusing and infuriating fashion statement but as it turns out, it gets worse. Not only did Kanye make the appalling choice to wear a shirt reading “White Lives Matter” on it but the decision got even more heinous when new photos emerged online showing who Kanye was matching with: conservative commentator Candace Owens, who Kanye previously accused of “using” him to promote her problematic “Blexit” campaign.
The duo’s previous run-in lead to Kanye’s name being attached to the “Blexit” clothing line, which encouraged Black voters to leave the Democratic Party (y’know for the other party that has pained us as criminals and “welfare queens” for the past 50 years). However, just a couple of days later, Kanye backpedaled on the Blexit gear, writing on Twitter, “My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative!!!”
Of course, just two years later, he ran a sloppy, unhinged, probably-technically-illegal Presidential campaign as a spoiler candidate backed by Republicans who probably overestimated his popularity with “the Blacks” after two-plus years of MAGA hat-embracing shenanigans. As for his ongoing association with Owens, it seems they’ve made up after their falling out in 2018, and his previous concerns about being used to make disingenuous political messages didn’t stop him from doing the exact same thing, six years later.
The word “fictional” is writer/director Andrew Dominick’s sword and shield when it comes to Blonde (which you can now stream on Netflix), an adaptation of Joyce Carol Oates’ novel about the icon Marilyn Monroe. Through the grace of that magical term, there is an implication that the truth need not be followed as a guide. As such, the texture of Monroe’s actual life doesn’t matter much here, not when put up against creative ambitions.
I bet, at the outset, that it feels bold, exhilarating, and empowering to play with an audience’s institutional memory of an icon, skillfully recreating the moments most familiar, and then twisting it all to try and say something profound about fear, abandonment, and the public’s insatiable lust for celebrities to give more than they should or even can. But somewhere along the line, the thread gets lost with Blonde. Somewhere along the line, it becomes clear that ambition should have been tempered by curiosity, flexibility, and above all else, empathy (this is, after all, a real person who has been historically misrepresented and misunderstood), making way for a fuller story that might have felt less exploitative and mean.
As revealed in Christina Newland’s much-discussedinterview for Sight And Sound, Dominick wanted to tell a story about the effects of childhood trauma on a person’s life and he found Oates’ book and Monroe’s life to be a helpful vessel. Monroe’s triumphs were of no interest or use, something you can sense when you sit through the film and which is made abundantly clear by his own comments in the interview when asked about specific missing moments of triumph, tenacity, and guts in this telling.
“That stuff is not really what the film is about. It’s about a person who is going to be killing themself. So it’s trying to examine the reasons why they did that. It’s not looking at her lasting legacy. I mean, she’s not even terribly concerned with any of that stuff. If you look at Marilyn Monroe, she’s got everything that society tells us is desirable. She’s famous. She’s beautiful. She’s rich. If you look at the Instagram version of her life, she’s got it all. And she killed herself. Now, to me, that’s the most important thing. It’s not the rest. It’s not the moments of strength.”
As should be clear by now, in this portrait of Monroe, it is not useful to present her as anything more than frazzled, damaged, and eventually defeated by a life wherein she was ceaselessly objectified and basically tortured by everyone she met, everything she did, and especially the unfulfilled promise of ever meeting her father.
The thing is, it really is crude to contort a real person’s life for the act of telling a preordained story that benefits from putting on blinders to nuance, no matter how long ago or publicly they lived. Creative license should be granted, but this is a question of should, not could.
What’s the point of the imagined and poisonous three-way relationship with the adult sons of Charlie Chaplin and Edward G. Robinson? How can you profess that this story is about why someone killed themself when you completely make up an action that necessitated that? Another Dominick quote from that amazing interview is relevant here: “Nobody really knows what the fuck happened. So it’s all fiction anyway, in my opinion.” How freeing, how cynical.
What about the guilt-filled dialogue delivered by a fetus to Monroe over the forced abortion she had had earlier in the film (one of two such scenes filled with physical restraint, assault, and a choice to show the procedure from inside Monroe’s vagina), or the traumatic blowjob scene with JFK and its violent conclusion? At what point do these big stylistic choices veer from the artistic to a violation and even a seeming finger wag at the subject?
The criticism of actress Ana de Armas for occasionally slipping out of her breathy Monroe voice into her own natural sound is legitimate but also telling. In every other way, de Armas embodies the icon, holding our attention while matching the film’s overall visual fidelity to Monroe’s life which was born from copious amounts of research. But that one failing (and it is a slight failing, to be clear) is magnified while some have glossed over Dominick’s decision to put his actress into a story wherein she seems as though she is constantly in a field trying to escape a lightning storm that she can’t quite comprehend.
This is a story devoid of credit for Monroe’s talent, wit, and hard work — no surprise considering Dominick’s feelings about her work as expressed in that same Sight And Sound interview. Assumptions, torture traps, omissions, negative focuses, and distracting visual choices and gimmicks made to stand in for actual character depth, that’s what Dominick layers atop an astonishing life filled with extraordinary heartache, complexity, accomplishment, and turbulence brought on by a world that struggled to see her as more than a 2D object of desire. Rather than showing her work through her frustration before ultimately succumbing, we see her frailty and fear as she circles the drain on a punishing life. Here, Monroe is a 2D object of sorrow whose also made to be naked, violated, and smudged with blood and tears, crying out like a child for her Daddy, whom she sees in every man who drains a little more light from her with savagery and broken promises. This is a brutal interpretation, too free of guardrails for its and our own good.
I get it, the word fictional protects all of this from being taken too literally as a true biopic and examination of Marilyn Monroe’s iconography and existence, but who will remember to hold onto that label when shown such vivid recreations of the highlights and lowlights of a historic life? Like Monroe, this film is flashy and attention-getting. To some, it’ll serve as a spark to dive deeper, but it’ll be enough to satiate the curiosity of many, many others who might see this version and lazily accept it as fact. Whether that is, ultimately, on the audience or the filmmaker is, I suppose, a matter of perspective, but the end result is still a disservice to the legacy of a real person (the newish Netflix doc on her is way more illuminating about who she actually was).
If the world can’t remember Marilyn Monroe without perverting her memory, then perhaps we owe her the blessing of being forgotten. That might be better than whatever this is.
At this point, Vladimir Putin’s war on Ukraine isn’t going well, and that appears to be something that he won’t accept. He recently persisted in mobilizing a vast chunk of fighting-aged Russian men, a move that Putin eventually sort-of admitted that he botched, but from there, he hasn’t decided to stand down. Instead, Putin’s proud that (seven months on) his army’s been able to gather enough Russian villages to annex four regions of Ukraine, but the cities appear to evade capture. Russia was forced to withdraw from the Eastern stronghold of Lyman, and that’s sparked two of Putin’s biggest allies to drag Putin to his face. And on Monday, Ukrainian forces made a stunning Southern advance, which is a development that follows Russian soldiers declaring that there’s no way that Kiev will fall to Putin’s troops.
In other words, this war is in no way guaranteed to go Putin’s way in the end. However, Elon Musk sent unsolicited advice to Ukraine on how to seek peace with Russia:
– Redo elections of annexed regions under UN supervision. Russia leaves if that is will of the people.
– Crimea formally part of Russia, as it has been since 1783 (until Khrushchev’s mistake).
– Water supply to Crimea assured.
– Ukraine remains neutral.
Ukraine-Russia Peace:
– Redo elections of annexed regions under UN supervision. Russia leaves if that is will of the people.
– Crimea formally part of Russia, as it has been since 1783 (until Khrushchev’s mistake).
Musk also made this statement into a poll, and as of this writing, 63.2% of respondents have chosen the “no” option. He continued to argue (in terms of sheer population numbers) that Ukraine has no chance “in total war,” which assumes that the rest of Russia won’t head to the borders if Putin eventually chooses a “full war mobilization.” The Tesla CEO then argued that peace is the only option to save the Ukrainian people.
Russia is doing partial mobilization. They go to full war mobilization if Crimea is at risk. Death on both sides will be devastating.
Russia has >3 times population of Ukraine, so victory for Ukraine is unlikely in total war. If you care about the people of Ukraine, seek peace.
From there (via Mediaite), Musk received a choice response. Andrij Melnyk, who is Ukraine’s ambassador in Germany, declared, “F*ck off is my very diplomatic reply to you.”
Fuck off is my very diplomatic reply to you @elonmusk
Diplomacy ain’t dead. Russia might have sheer population numbers, but citizens are fleeing to neighboring countries because they don’t want to fight Putin’s war. Whereas Ukraine’s citizens are all-in, and they have Molotov cocktail-wielding grandmas, so it doesn’t sound like peace will be happening anytime soon.
Whoopi Goldberg took a moment on The View to call out a rogue piece of film criticism that caught her attention. The longtime actress/daytime talk show recently starred in Till, a film about the 1955 lynching of 14-year-old Emmett Till in Mississippi. However, as the reviews started coming in following Till‘s premiere at the New York Film Festival, one critic saw fit to accuse Goldberg of wearing a “distracting” fat suit. Here’s the thing though: Whoopi wasn’t wearing one.
While discussing the powerful film with her co-hosts, Whoopi called out the fat suit remarks and noted that she had been on steroids at the time during a well-documented bout with pneumonia.
.@WhoopiGoldberg speaks on the importance of her film ‘Till,’ which premiered at New York Film Festival, and she addresses a claim that she wore a fat suit in the film.
“I don’t really care about how you felt about the movie,” Goldberg said this morning. “But you should know that was not a fat suit, that was me. That was me. That was steroids. Remember last year? I assume you don’t watch the show, or you would know that was not a fat suit. It’s OK not be a fan of movie, but you want to leave people’s looks out. Just comment on the acting. And if you have a question, ask somebody. I’m sure you didn’t mean to be demeaning.”
Despite not being thrilled with the situation, Goldberg didn’t mention the outlet that ran the fat suit accusation by name. However, Mediaite reports that the review in question was published by The Daily Beast. Following Goldberg’s on-air statement, an editor’s note has been added to the end of the piece, which reads: “This story has been updated to reflect that Whoopi Goldberg says she was not wearing a fat suit.”
Melissa Villaseñor might have left Saturday Night Live at the end of last season, but she is still going the fans what they really want: more impressions!
Villaseñor was known for doing various spot-on impressions of celebs like Lady Gaga and Owen Wilson on the late-night show from 2016 until earlier this year. This week, she stopped by The Kelly Clarkson Show and happened to have an impression of singer and TheVoice host Gwen Stefani ready to go, as Stefani herself sat alongside to watch. Some would think this is a weird, parallel universe-inspired Black Mirror episode, but Stefani found it charming!
The comedian casually slipped in an impression while acting out what it’s like for her to drive while listening to Stefani’s band No Doubt. “So, you know, No Doubt comes on the radio, or Gwen, you come on the radio, and I’m driving — it is dangerous because I get so into your impression, and it’s not safe, you know?” Villaseñor said. “I can’t drive!” She added before belting out “Underneath It All.”
Stefani, who has been the lead singer of No Doubt since the band began performing in 1987, was delighted by the impression, and even asked Villaseñor to do it again, almost as if meeting another version of yourself isn’t slightly creepy at all! “I mean, I always say you’ve made it if somebody like, dresses up for Halloween as you or makes fun of you,” Stefani laughed.
Though Villaseñor won’t be on this season of the sketch show, the comedian can clearly make people laugh. Not everyone from SNL can say that!
A little more than two weeks after receiving a formal apology from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the abuse she suffered at the 1973 Academy Awards, Native American rights activist Sacheen Littlefeather has died at age 75.
Littlefeather is a Native American civil rights activist born to an Apache and Yaqui father and a European American mother. Littlefeather made history at the 1973 Academy Awards by forcing Hollywood and America to confront its mistreatment of Native Americans by rejecting Brando’s award on his behalf.
Dressed in traditional clothing, she explained that Brando “very regretfully cannot accept this generous award, the reasons for this being … the treatment of American Indians today by the film industry and on television in movie reruns, and also with recent happenings at Wounded Knee.”
Littlefeather was courteous and nonconfrontational in her brief speech, but still wound up the target of jokes that night. “I don’t know if I should present this award on behalf of all the cowboys shot in all the John Ford westerns over the years,” Clint Eastwood said later in the evening while presenting the award for best picture. Presenting best actress, Raquel Welch cracked: “I hope they haven’t got a cause.”
Littlefeather later said that John Wayne attempted to assault her backstage.
“A lot of people were making money off of that racism of the Hollywood Indian,” Littlefeather told KQED. “Of course, they’re going to boo. They don’t want their evening interrupted.”
“I felt there was an opportunity,” Brando told Cavett. “Since the American Indian hasn’t been able to have his voice heard anywhere in the history of the United States, I thought it was a marvelous opportunity to voice his opinion to 85 million people. I felt that he had a right to, in view of what Hollywood has done to him.”
“The abuse you endured because of this statement was unwarranted and unjustified,” former Academy President David Rubin wrote in a letter to Littlefeather, CNN reported. “The emotional burden you have lived through and the cost to your own career in our industry are irreparable. For too long the courage you showed has been unacknowledged. For this, we offer both our deepest apologies and our sincere admiration.”
On September 17, the Academy hosted an event honoring Littlefeather at the David Geffen Theater for more than 800 people, nearly half of which are Native American. Littlefeather asked them to stand before she formally accepted the apology.
“I am here accepting this apology, not only for me alone but as acknowledgment, knowing that it was not only for me, but for all of our nations that also need to hear and deserve this apology tonight,” she addressed the crowd. “Look at our people. Look at each other and be proud that we stand as survivors, all of us. Please, when I’m gone, always be reminded that whenever you stand for your truth, you will be keeping my voice, and the voices of our nations, and our people, alive.”
Littlefeather was also part of the Native American occupation of Alcatraz Island in 1969 and began acting with San Francisco’s American Conservatory Theater in the early ’70s. Her career in show business was derailed after the Oscars controversy and she claims she was “red-listed” from the business.
But that didn’t stop her from being a vocal activist for Native American rights throughout the rest of her life. She also worked with Greenpeace and served on the board of directors for the American Indian AIDS Institute of San Francisco.
Littlefeather’s niece confirmed that she died peacefully from breast cancer with her loved ones at her home in Marin County, California, on Sunday, October 2. The Academy’s apology in the final months of her life brought a sense of closure.
“It feels like the sacred circle is completing itself before I go in this life,” Littlefeather told the Academy. “It feels like a big cleanse, if you will, of mind, body, and spirit, and of heart. It feels that the truth will be known. And it feels like the creator is being good to me.”
At the start of 2022, Brockhampton shocked the hip-hop world by cancelling their more than 40 tour dates for 2022 and announcing that the band was breaking up for a while. They played Coachella and a pair of London shows and then called it quits. “From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for being on this journey with us,” a statement from the band read. “We would not be here without our fans. We hope we’ve been able to inspire you as much as you have these past eight years.”
But at that final Coachella performance, as Brockhampton was about to leave the stage, a message flashed on a video screen saying that a final Brockhampton album would be out in 2022. The band teased the album later that week with a trailer, but there hasn’t been a word about it since besides Merlyn Wood’s solo single and a track by the collective on the Minions soundtrack. Well, de facto leader Kevin Abstract just ended the silence in a major way. sharing the album title, No Cap, and confirming that the album will indeed be released in 2022. “BROCKHAMPTON ALBUM BEFORE YEAR IS OVER F*CK I AM EXCITED THANK U FOR BEING PATIENT,” he tweeted.
BROCKHAMPTON ALBUM BEFORE YEAR IS OVER FUCK I AM EXCITED THANK U FOR BEING PATIENT
But Abstract also looked to be having a little fun. He tweeted out what he said was the No Cap album cover, but it’s a picture of him with the hair/hat airbrushed out saying, “Official Album Cover 4 Final Bh album.” Time will tell if it’s a gag or not; You never know.
Fans have been clamoring for news — any news — about SZA’s new album for a while now but the singer has been cagey with details regarding the project. She’s given announcements that went nowhere, she’s released singles that failed to materialize into a full-length collection, and in the introduction of a new cover feature for Complex, she even says she doesn’t want to talk about her new album. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t talk about it. After all, if there’s one thing SZA loves to do, it’s contradicting herself.
For instance, one detail she reveals is that she’s been working with R&B hitmaker Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins — which dedicated fans already knew thanks to her long-awaited single “Shirt” — and that the duo turned out to be incredibly prolific. She explains that her desire to collaborate with Jerkins stemmed from his already legendary list of works with turn-of-the-millennium icons like Amerie and Brandy and boasts that they completed a week’s worth of work in just one day.
“That was always my dream,” she said. “To work with him based on his work with Brandy and Amerie. We did like seven records in one day.” Jerkins praised SZA’s songwriting, saying, “Her pen game is arguably one of the best pen games in the game right now. It’s almost like she’s a rapper tied up in a vocalist… There’s no fear in her writing. She’s gonna say whatever she wants to say, and that’s what it is. And to me, that’s the X factor.”
Unfortunately, the one thing the feature doesn’t reveal is the release date of SZA’s long-awaited album. It looks like we’ll have to keep waiting.
Karol G recently brought out Mexican banda act Grupo Firme as special guests on her Strip Love Tour. On Saturday night (October 1), the Colombian superstar sang her hit “Tusa” with the top-selling group.
Karol G kicked off her Strip Love Tour last month. On her first arena tour of the US, she has brought out many special guests in the reggaeton genre, like Ozuna, Arcángel, and Maldy. For her concert in Hidalgo, Texas, Karol G switched it up with by inviting guests from the regional Mexican music genre. After performing at the Coachella main stage in April, Grupo Firme is currently selling out stadiums across the US on tour. The band’s lead singer Eduin Caz is a big Karol G fan. He visited her last year when she toured the US with the Bichota Tour.
Now on the Strip Love Tour, Grupo Firme shared the stage with Karol G. First, Karol G joined the band in a rousing rendition of their breakthrough hit “Ya Supérame.” She then sang a banda version of her her hit “Tusa” (that originally featured Nicki Minaj) alongside Grupo Firme. Caz’s brother and bandmate, Jhonny Caz, also performed an impromptu rap during the song. Karol G was all smiles while singing with Grupo Firme.
Karol G later reflected on her experience with Grupo Firme in an Instagram Story post. “Yesterday, another incredibly special night singing regional Mexican music, THAT YOU GUYS KNOW I LOVE, together with my friends from Grupo Firme,” she wrote in Spanish. “Wow Wowww WOW!”
Karol G is no stranger to regional Mexican music. She embraced the sound of Mexican corridos in the boozy “200 Copas” from last year’s KG0516 album. Karol G’s Strip Love Tour will continue to visit arenas across the US throughout this month.
French fries are the greatest single-menu item in all of fast food. Put simply, there’s a reason they’re served as the default side on most fast food combo meals. Part of that is because potatoes are dirt cheap and French fries are incredibly easy to make but a larger part is that French fries are undeniably delicious. If you don’t like French fries, we seriously question your taste in food. Sure, there are a lot of fad diets out there that will try and cut fries out of your life, and hey, do what you got to do… but there is no denying that French fries always hit.
They’re crispy, salty, and buttery soft molten potatoes, what’s not to love?
Sometimes, a fast food chain’s fries are so damn good that the thought of eating them is more exciting than eating the main course itself. So in celebration of all the great French fries across the fast food universe, we’re shouting out the best French fry order at each of the big chains! Some of these options will be standard while others will be off-menu gems that you may not have even heard of yet. Enjoy!
Arby’s — Loaded Curly Fries
Arby
Why It’s The Best Fry Order:
Arby’s Curly Fries are already an easy choice over their regular French fries but getting them “Loaded” takes it to a whole new level. Featuring chopped bacon bits, cheddar cheese, and sour cream, the Loaded fries are salty, tangy, smokey, and way more savory than a simple order of fries.
Arby’s uses a combination of shredded cheddar cheese and some sort of sharp cheese sauce and while generally, cheese sauces tend to taste cheap and overly salty, something about the way it combines with the onion and garlic powder heavy flavor of the curly fries just hits in this really satisfying way.
Once you have these, a regular order of curly fries will suddenly taste like it’s missing something.
The Bottom Line:
This will single-handedly turn your order of fries from a side to a full-on meal. Don’t let that stop you from also ordering a Roast Beef and Cheddar though.
Burger King doesn’t give you a whole lot of options when it comes to French fries. They have French fries, chicken fries (which aren’t fries) and onion rings (also not fries). No curly fries or bacon topped fries or anything interesting, unfortunately. But few people are aware that you can order “Frings” and get a mix of crispy onion rings and fries which makes the experience of eating at Burger King a lot more enjoyable.
Burger King’s fries are over-salted, so cutting an order with onion rings allows a break from the salt and introduces some sweetness into the mix, while still being perfectly dippable in a side of BBQ sauce or ketchup.
The Bottom Line:
Burger King clearly needs more French fry options but, as the menu stands, this is the most enjoyable way to enjoy fried potatoes at the chain.
At one point Carl’s Jr. had three different French fry options, Thick Natural-Cut fries, shoe-string natural cut, and crisscut. They’ve ditched the thick boys (which is a shame) but thankfully kept the crisscut — which essentially serves as Carl’s Jr.’s version of the curly fry.
The crisscut has this slightly breaded crispy exterior, that helps it stay crunchy even after it has been sitting in the bag for a while with an onion, garlic powder-forward flavor with a hint of paprika and black pepper on the backend. With the wide flat shape of the Crisscut, it’s easy to slip a few of these into your burger to add some extra flavor and crunch.
The Bottom Line:
Zesty, flavorful, and easy to add to any of Carl’s Jr’s sandwiches, Carl’s Jr’s Crisscut fries are a game changer.
Chick-fil-A’s waffle fries are mediocre at best. I know a lot of people love these potatoes, but I think most of that love comes from the novelty of the waffle fry form factor. As far as flavors go, these fries are incredibly bland and when lukewarm, near inedible without some sort of dipping sauce.
That’s why I always order the fries with a side order of nuggets, this way I can sandwich a nugget between two fries and create a waffle fry chicken sandwich. It’s not nearly as good as an actual Chick-fil-A sandwich, but it’s a fun way to eat these other tasteless waffle fries.
The Bottom Line:
Crunchy, crispy, and the perfect order when you can’t decide between nuggets or a sandwich.
Five Guys — Salted Fries + Pepper + A Side of Cajun Seasoning
Five Guys
Why It’s The Best Fry Order:
If you want to order the best fries at Five Guys you need to get an order of the Salted Fries and then grab at least five pepper packets and ask for a side of cajun seasoning.
Considering Five Guys offers Cajun Fries on the menu, this seems like a very convoluted way of ordering fries, but trust me, this is the best way to do it. Five Guys’ whole vibe is chaos, they love to throw too many fries in a brown paper bag and bomb it with Cajun seasoning to the point of it being inedible. I don’t know why they do this.
Ordering the seasoning on the side allows you to portion the seasoning in a much more balanced way. Here’s what you do: Open the bag, rip the top portion of the bag off, and sprinkle at least five pepper packets over a bed of fries. Then open your cajun seasoning and give it a gentle sprinkle. Close the bag, shake it up, and continue seasoning to taste.
The Bottom Line:
Not only is this the best way to order Five Guys’ fries but this is also the way to get the best French fries in all of fast food. Guaranteed.
I used to be pretty down on KFC’s Secret Recipe Fries because they replaced the potato wedges, which I thought were excellent, but over the years I’ve come back around on these fries — I have to say, they’re pretty damn delicious. They’re slightly breaded, give them a nice crunch with butter molten potato on the inside.
In the batter, I’m getting a bit of black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and celery power. I wouldn’t say it tastes exactly like KFC’s Original Recipe chicken but it’s pretty close. Unfortunately for us, this is KFC’s only French fry option. The colonel also has mashed potatoes but these are better in every way — the mashed are way too dry and smashed to the point of being whipped.
The Bottom Line:
KFC’s only French fry option but at least it’s a good one.
For many an In-N-Out fan, Animal Style is a must. But as popular as these fries are, it blows my mind that more people don’t know you can ask for chopped chilies on top which totally changes the flavor profile and makes this already special order even more appetizing.
The Animal Style fries take In-N-Out’s admittedly bland French fries and douse them in house-made special sauce, grilled onions, and melted American cheese, resulting in a forkful of flavors that bounce between salty, sweet, savory, and rich. And with those added chilis you get some added tangy, vegetal, and spicy notes. The chilis are brined in salt and vinegar, which sometimes results in a juicy burst of earthy umami flavors when you bite into them.
To complete your order, make sure you order a Double Double (animal style or just with grilled onions, always grilled onions), which you can also get chopped chilis in.
Straight up, the bacon cheddar potato wedges deserve this spot. But Jack in the Box quietly discontinued them last year so now the most exciting French fry option at Jack in the Box are the curly fries.
The curly fries are great, they’re incredibly greasy but in a decadent and satisfying way with a zesty black pepper and onion-forward flavor. They’re almost soggy with grease but they still have a nice snap and crunch to them thanks to the batter around the fry. But Jack in the Box still has bacon and they still have cheese to melt… so why can’t we get Bacon Cheddar Curly Fries?
Would that be copying Arby’s? Absolutely, but who cares, we want the flavor!
The Bottom Line:
RIP to the Bacon Cheddar Wedges, God Save the Curly Fries!
McDonald’s isn’t very imaginative with their French fries, but they don’t have to be. For many people, McDonald’s French fries are the absolute best, and even if you’ve permanently cut fries out of your diet, you’ve probably snuck a few orders of these in because they’re that good.
My theory is that McDonald’s sprinkles these fries with just a hint of sugar under all that salt, making them so addictive that even the strongest amongst us can’t resist. But just think of what could happen if McDonald’s decided to crumble some bacon and melted cheese on these things (I guess I want all the chains to do this!)?
Until that day, the OG are pretty amazing!
The Bottom Line:
Not exciting or fun or even really that interesting. But hands down, these are some of the best-tasting fries in fast food and flavor beats inventiveness.
Popeyes Cajun Fries are some of my favorite fast food fries. They’re battered, extra crispy (so long as they’re fresh) and have a tasty blend of cajun spices that include paprika, oregano, chili powder, and onion. Popeyes doesn’t really need to do anything extra to elevate these fries, they’re perfect as is.
That doesn’t mean we’d fault them for creating some type of cajun fry spicy chicken hybrid dish. Maybe a box of fries with one of Popeyes chicken sandwich filets chopped on top with a drizzle of honey. Make it happen Popeyes!
The Bottom Line:
Not only some of the best fries in the fast food universe, but these are also hands-down Popeyes’ best side order.
Now see, this is what I’m talking about! Rally’s seasoned fries have a very similar flavor profile to Popeyes Cajun Fries (they’re a little less spicy, but way more crispy) but unlike Popeyes, the flavor scientists over at Rally’s decided to make them taste even better by throwing garlic parmesan sauce, bacon bits, melted cheddar cheese and more parmesan on top — creating this decadent and satisfying, salty, nutty, cheesy flavor bomb of a meal.
If parmesan isn’t your thing, Rally’s also makes chili cheese fries, but I find the chili to be pretty lacking in terms of flavor and portioning. You’ll get a lot more bang for your buck and more flavor with the garlic parmesan.
The Bottom Line:
Cheesy, salty, nutty, and sharp… what’s not to love?
I won’t ever stop talking about how subpar Shake Shack’s crinkle-cut fries are until they make something that is truly delicious. The new Hot Ones Bacon Cheese Fries are the closest they’ve come so far, even though I think these could be a bit better.
These cheese fries feature a dusting of barely spicy Aleppo peppers, with thin strips of bacon, and salty cheese sauce. On their own, they’re just fine, but when you dip the fries in Spicy ShakeSauce, which is a tangy and spicy version of the Shack’s famous ShakeSauce, they become a lot more palatable and delicious.
To take it up a notch, be sure to use the Last Dab packet Shake Shack currently has — it’s legitimately one of the spiciest things you’ll ever eat but features an earthy and complex flavor that makes the burn worth it. This is going to add a lot of excitement to this order. It’s not going to make it much better… but at least you’ll have a story to tell.
The Bottom Line:
Shake Shack’s best fries so far, but they still need a bit more work to be truly delicious.
Sonic’s Chile Cheese Fries are the real deal! Unlike most fast food chili cheese fries, there is no salty radioactive cheese sauce here, just real cheddar cheese, shredded and melted by the heat of fries and chili.
The chili is meaty, spicy, and savory, and the French fries have some of the skin still on, adding a rustic and earthy flavor that pairs really nicely with the fragrant chili. Sure, it lacks a special and unique ingredient, but it doesn’t need one, because the chili is solid, the fries are solid, and the cheese is nutty, complex, and sharp with a depth of flavor that cheese sauce just doesn’t have.
If you really need to elevate these, Sonic allows you to add jalapeños and diced onions on top free of charge, which you should totally do.
If you want the best fries from Wendy’s, it’s not the Hot and Crispys, and it’s not the Baconator Fries — it’s the potato wedges. Meaning you’re going to have to roll up at breakfast time for the best fried potatoes the outlet has to offer.
You can argue that potato wedges aren’t fries at all but I mean come on, do we really need to change the title of this article to “best fast food potato order” just for one instance of wedges? I think not.
The flavor is a mix of black pepper, garlic, and onion seasonings, very similar to most chain’s curly fries, but the potato inside the wedges is much fluffier and more buttery than anything you’re going to get from a thinner form factor.
The Bottom Line:
Legitimately better than McDonald’s French fries. Yes, they’re that good!
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