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House of the Dragon is serious. It is an HBO drama, holding the coveted Sunday night 9pm eastern slot. The cast includes some of Britain’s best thespians who didn’t appear on Game of Thrones. The show also includes battles and dragons, dragons more intricately designed and meticulously detailed than the three dragons we saw on Game of Thrones. Because of the dragons and a lot of other things, House of the Dragon costs a serious amount of money.

So far, the first season of the series has boomeranged between serious fantasy family drama and absolute chaos. In the fifth episode, “We Light the Way,” which adds to the canon of Westeros Weddings Gone Wrong, it embraces the melodrama and the chaos and fully transforms into a very expensive soap opera.

House of the Dragon gleefully accepts its melodramatic core during a feast to kick off Princess Rhaenyra’s wedding to Laenor Velaryon. The scene starts off normally – normal for a wedding feast in Westeros, at least. The royal family, minus the missing queen, sit at a table while lords of Westeros who wish they were the ones marrying Rhaenyra suck up to her and congratulate her.

In the midst of this, Daemon Targaryen, who is not exactly on good terms with anyone in the room as a result of his kinky night on the town with his niece in episode four, arrives at the feast late and uninvited. King Viserys’ speech is interrupted by the late arrival of his wife, Queen Alicent Hightower. Daemon is accused of murdering his wife. Rhaenyra and Daemon have a tense conversation on the dance floor but also maybe make out. Rhaenyra’s paramour Criston Cole gets into a fight with her future husband’s paramour, killing him. And all along, King Viserys is secretly suffering from his ongoing health problems and just trying to eat in peace.

Rather than one shocking wedding event like the massacre of the Starks at the Red Wedding or the poisoning of King Joffrey at the Purple Wedding, this wedding is drama after drama with no breathing room for the characters or the audience. The episode combines the awkward family drama and love triangles reminiscent of a teen soap like Gossip Girl (the original) with the uncomfortable, nonstop anxious energy of Uncut Gems. Or, really, any Safdie Brothers film.

Comparing House of the Dragon to a campy soap might sound like an insult, but this is the best possible outcome for the Game of Thrones spin-off. Rather than making things complicated, the series is absorbing itself in melodramatic chaos and as a result, makes Westeros fun. Essentially, House of the Dragon is a Game of Thrones show for people who want to understand what they’re watching but don’t have the energy to inadvertently peruse the A Song of Ice and Fire Wikipedia until 2 am trying to figure out who everyone is, where everyone is, and who is related to whom.

The series could have gone the self-serious route – it has already and it likely will again – but having the audacity so early in the series to have some fun and be a little dumb already makes it more subversive than its subversion-obsessed predecessor.

What a year it’s been for the Jackass boys (and Rachel Wolfson).

Jackass Forever was the second best theatrical experience of the year after Top Gun: Maverick; director Jeff Tremaine is working on a documentary about 30 years of “wrongdoing and debauchery” at Walt Disney World; and to cap things off, most of the crew — minus Steve-O — reunited on the Celebrity Family Feud season finale.

In one corner, you had Team Tremaine: Jeff Tremaine, Chris Pontius, Wee Man (who Harvey affectionally referred to as “my man”), Compston “Dark Shark” Wilson, Eric “Butterbean” Esch, and Zach Holmes. In the other, Team Knoxville: Johnny Knoxville, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy, Jasper Dolphin, Dave England, and Rachel Wolfson. It was chaos. Beautiful, beautiful chaos.

Knoxville, wearing the same suit as the immaculately-dressed host, tasered his own teammates; England grossed the audience out by replying to “tell me something you’d hate to have happen while you’re making love in an airplane bathroom” with “you accidentally went number two in the wrong direction” (it’s a good answer); and Harvey, who was equal parts delighted and confused, made this face at the end of the episode.

I won’t spoil who won the game, but in a way, we’re all winners.

You can watch more Celebrity Family Feud clips with the Jackass crew below:

Bob Dylan’s The Philosophy Of Modern Song is set to be an audiobook, with the superstar lineup of readers just getting confirmed by Variety. Actors including Steve Buscemi and Helen Mirren will be among the famous voices reading on Dylan’s upcoming essay collection. Other notable stars reading will be Oscar Isaac, Sissy Spacek, Rita Moreno, John Goodman, Jeff Bridges, Renée Zellweger, Alfre Woodard, and Jeffrey Wright.

Dylan’s book is being released on November 1. It will include essay pieces about 66 songs that Dylan himself considers exceptional examples of songwriting, with picks from legendary artists like Jimmy Reed, Willie Nelson, Little Richard, Nina Simone, Elvis Costello and Townes Van Zandt. Dylan himself will also be reading throughout the audiobook version. In addition to Audible, readers can listen on Google Play, Apple Books, and other audiobook companies.

According to the book’s official website page, it will find Dylan as “he analyzes what he calls the trap of easy rhymes, breaks down how the addition of a single syllable can diminish a song, and even explains how bluegrass relates to heavy metal.”

“These essays are written in Dylan’s unique prose,” it notes. “They are mysterious and mercurial, poignant and profound, and often laugh-out-loud funny. And while they are ostensibly about music, they are really meditations and reflections on the human condition.”

Bob Dylan’s The Philosophy Of Modern Song is out 11/01 via Simon and Schuster and available for pre-order here.

Ted Cruz is a slippery little man. Back on September 12, he did an interview with KAMC, an ABC affiliate based in Lubbock, Texas, where he celebrated the government actually doing something: passing the Ports-to-Plains Highway Act, a new highway project that Cruz boasted would bring millions of dollars and new jobs to Texas.

For weeks, Cruz has been patting himself on the back about getting bipartisan support for this bill, which he sponsored. But earlier this week, as The Guardian reported, we learned that Cruz had actually voted against his own bill — the one he’s been going on and on about — a fact made public by the White House Twitter account, which brilliantly trolled the Texas senator.

Ryan Chandler, the anchor seen in the clip that Cruz had originally tweeted, joined the chorus when he shared additional footage from his interview — footage that Teddy, for some reason, decided to leave out.

Following Cruz’s little victory lap, Chandler, who had clearly done his homework, asked the senator why he would shepherd a bill and then “vote against the actual legislation that put it into law?” Cruz had a response ready, which basically amounted to: Shit happens!

“Well, listen, that happens frequently in the United States Senate,” Cruz Senate-splained. “Where you end up working to get agreement and to pass a particular piece of legislation. But then it gets rolled into a giant bill that has a whole bunch of good things and bad things. For a decade now, there have been dozens of different pieces of legislation that I wrote, that I got support for, that I got passed into law. But the ultimate vehicle that they got stuck into had other elements that were bad and wasteful and didn’t make sense.” Sort of like, well, Ted Cruz.

(Via The Guardian)

This afternoon (September 23), Grimes shared a new selfie. This comes a few days after the photo of herself seemingly in a post-surgery state. The primary interpretation of that was Grimes went ahead and had her ears surgically modified to be more elf-like, as she has recently said she’d like to do. Assuming the latest photo was taken after the bandaged one, though, it’s clear that Grimes has not yet actually gotten elf ears. She does seem to be planning a different facial modification in the near future, though.

Alongside the new photo, Grimes wrote, “R selfies obsolete yet? I am very seriously considering getting a white ink tattoo on my face next week. Any thoughts? It feels like it’s time.”

Somebody asked Grimes what she has in mind in terms of a design and it doesn’t seem like she’s sure yet, as Grimes responded, “I don’t know my friend who does tats is just coming here so I want to take advantage.” She added in response to a different tweet, “What tho? Is moon way too basic? Don’t wanna seem@too hippy ish.” Somebody else suggested Grimes look into Nordic symbols and she replied, “Where can I find such things ? Or good resources ? Yeh have been thinking either some ancient languages or fictional language.”

Grimes wouldn’t be the first musician to get a face tattoo this year, as Cardi B recently showed off one she got on her jaw.

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Glorilla is generating major buzz today (September 23) for “Tomorrow 2,” her remix track with Cardi B that had been teased since Wednesday. “Poppin’ sh*t, you would think I went to school for chiropractin’,” the CMG signee raps on the first verse. Glorilla returned to her actual former high school on Thursday (September 22) and she didn’t show up empty-handed.

“God has been so good to me,” Glorilla captioned an Instagram video showing her unveiling a check for $25,000 for Martin Luther King College Preparatory High School. “Blessing me back to back so I decided to be a blessing to the students from my alma mater Mlk preparatory high school in Memphis, TN. FRAYSER BABY 4L.”

According to Billboard, the funds will be dedicated to the fine arts program, and Glorilla treated the excited students to a performance of her breakthrough single “F.N.F.”

Glorilla was signed to CMG Records by Yo Gotti in July after the success of “F.N.F. (Let’s Go)” with Hitkidd. “Tomorrow” arrived in mid-July as part of CMG’s compilation project Gangsta Art. Glorilla’s original single blew up to the tune of over 11 million YouTube views and 2.6 Spotify streams. The Cardi-assisted “Tomorrow 2” figures to cast an even wider net of influence.

Glorilla’s philanthropic trip back home comes just over a week after Cardi visited her former middle school and donated $100,000 toward arts education and after-school programs.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Traveling on a plane when you’re physically larger than the seat itself can be a downright stressful experience. Questions like, “Will I fit in my seat?” “Will my neighbor be annoyed?” “Do I really need to purchase an extra seat?” and “How long are the seatbelts?” can turn someone off from taking a trip altogether. Plus it’s confusing — as just about every major airline has a totally different set of policies for dealing with, what the airline industry calls “customers of size.”

We don’t want concerns about your body (and how that body fits in an airplane seat) to dissuade you from seeing the world, so we’ve looked up all the major airlines’ policies and broken them down. Before we get into that, shout to Twitter user Shea Wesley Martin whose tweet about his experience went viral last weekend.

We never thought we’d see anyone celebrate Southwest Airlines for anything (shots fired!) but we applaud the airline for looking out for the larger folks. Here are the major airline policies, including armrest width, seatbelt length, and seat pitch (the distance from the back of your chair to the chair in front of you).

Let’s dive in!

Alaska Airlines

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Armrest Width: 17 inches for Coach, 21 inches for First Class.

Seatbelt Length: 46 inches + 25 inches with seatbelt extender.

Seat Pitch: Main Cabin seats feature 31-32 inches of leg room, Premium Class seats feature 35 inches of leg room.

The Policy:

As far as policies go, Alaska Airlines is one of the more understanding. The airline requires the purchase of an additional seat for any customer who cannot comfortably fit between the armrests. However, if the flight departs with an open seat available, customers of size will be eligible for a refund for the second seat — note: refunds must be requested within 90 days of travel.

If a second seat isn’t purchased in advance, you may be asked to purchase an additional seat before boarding the aircraft. In the event you need to change your reservation, you’ll only be charged one change fee.

Read the full policy here.

American Airlines

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Armrest Width: American Airlines has different air crafts with small variations in seat width, but for the most part Main Cabin seats measure between 17.3-18 inches, and First Class seats are approximately 21 inches.

Seatbelt Length: Information not available.

Seat Pitch: On the A319 Airbus, Main Cabin seats get 30 inches of leg room, 34 inches for Main Cabin Extra, and 38 inches for First Class. The Boeing 737-800 and 737 Max feature 30 inches in the Main Cabin, 33 inches for Main Cabin Extra, and 37 inches in First Class.

The Policy:

For customers who need extra space, American Airlines requires an extra seat to be purchased. AA strongly suggests you plan for this when booking.

If you forget to book an extra seat in advance, an airport agent will try to find out if they can find you two adjacent seats available on your flight, in the event that that means you’ll have to sit in a higher class, you’ll be responsible for the fare difference.

In the event that AA can’t find seats to accommodate you, you can purchase seats on a different flight at the same price as your original seats. It’s not great but far from the worst.

Read the full policy here.

Delta Airlines

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Armrest Width: 17.3 inches for Main Cabin and Delta Comfort + seats, 20.9 inches for First Class on Boeing 737 planes. 17.4 inches for Main Cabin and Delta Comfort +, 18.5 inches for Delta Premium Select, 20.46 inches for Delta One Suites

Seatbelt Length: 40 to 45 inches + 25 inches with seat belt extender.

Seat Pitch: The Main Cabin features 31-32 inches of leg room, Delta Comfort + gets you 34 inches, and First Class has 38-39 inches of leg room.

The Policy:

Delta Airlines’ Customer of Size Policy is a bit confusing because… well, the airline doesn’t really have one. Delta does not require passengers to purchase an extra seat if they need seatbelt extenders or are unable to lower the armrest. However, if a passenger “impedes” on another passenger they may be asked to move to another location that provides additional space or in some cases, will be asked to take a later flight with more available seating.

That’s pretty embarrassing, so Delta recommends passengers purchase an additional seat if they feel they might need one. To make a reservation for an extra seat, Delta suggests you create a New Passenger Name Record using your last name and “EXST” as the first name.

Itinerary change charges will only apply to the passenger’s ticket, not the extra seat.

Read the full policy here.

Frontier Airlines

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Armrest Width: For all 319 aircrafts you’ll get 17.4-18 in aisle seats, 17.8-19.1 inches for middle seats, and 17.1-18 inches for window seats. For 320 aircrafts you’re looking at 17.4-19 inches on the aisle, 17.8-19.1 inches for middle seats, and 17.1-18 inches on window seats. For the 321 aircraft you ave 16.7-18 inches on the aisle, 16.5-19.1 inches on the middle seat, and 16.5-18 inches at the window.

Seatbelt Length: Frontier is, for whatever reason, one of the few airlines that doesn’t list seatbelt lengths or extension lengths on their website. Extenders are available on all seats aside from seats located in Row 1.

Seat Pitch: Most seats on Frontier aircrafts feature 28-31 inches of leg room, with limited Stretch Seating options offering 33-35 inches.

The Policy:

The more budget-friendly airlines generally have the weakest policies. Customers who cannot lower both armrests or who compromise a portion of an adjacent seat are advised to book two seats. Frontier won’t charge you for change fees 60+ days before your departure but will charge you $49 for all seats purchased 59-7 days before departure, and $99 6 days or less.

Read Frontier’s full customer of size policy here.

Hawaiian Airlines

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Armrest Width: 18 inches for Boeing 717, 19 inches for First Class, and 17.5 inches for Exit Row seats. 18 inches for Airbus A321neo, 21 inches for First Class, 16.8 inches at the rear of the plane. 18 inches for Airbus A330, 20 inches for First Class, 16.5 inches for rear seats.

Seatbelt Length: 51 inches, no specified length for the seatbelt extension.

Seat Pitch: Boeing 717 has 30-31 inches of leg room in Economy Class and 37 inches in Business Class. The A321neo features 30-35 inches of legroom in Economy Class, and 39 inches in First Class. The Airbus A330 has 31-36 inches in Economy Class and a whopping 76 inches in First Class.

The Policy:

In addition to having the widest seats of any airline, Hawaiian is pretty understanding and accommodating to fliers who need a bit more room. If you’re unable to sit comfortably with the armrests lowered, Hawaiian airlines will try its best to find a suitable alternative to help ensure your comfort, though if no alternative is available, you’ll have to book another flight.

If you know you’re going to need extra room, Hawaiian suggests you call their web support center so they can help you book two adjacent seats, and they’ll even charge you the lowest available fare for the two seats, which is pretty helpful. To uses this feature, you’ll need to call 1-866-586-9419.

Read Hawaiian Airlines’ full customer of size policy here.

JetBlue Airways

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Armrest Width: 18.4 inches

Seatbelt Length: 45 inches + 25 inches with seat belt extender.

Seat Pitch: JetBlue has nine aircraft in its fleet, all of which have different specs but generally you’re looking at a generous 32-34 inches of legroom in Economy Class, with lie-flat options and 45 inches of space for Mint Studio Suites on the A321neo. Check out JetBlue’s full fleet specs here.

The Policy:

Like Delta, JetBlue doesn’t have an official customer of size policy, but the seats are about an inch and a half wider than typical airline seats. JetBlue does not require customers of size to purchase an additional seat but encourages the act if it results in a more comfortable flight for you.

JetBlue requires you to book extra seats at the time you purchase your initial seat. JetBlue’s website, unfortunately, does not list any details on whether you have to pay for change fees for your extra seat if you make an itinerary change, so if you’re making travel plans that might change, it’s probably best to hit up JetBlue’s customer service chat.

Read the full Extra Seat policy here.

Southwest Airlines

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Armrest Width: Southwest’s narrowest seat width is 15.5 inches on the B737-700, B737-800 and B737-Max 8 aircraft. The Maximum seat width is 17 inches on the B737-700 and 17.8 inches on the B737-800 and B737-Max 8.

Seatbelt Length: 39 inches + 24 inches with seat belt extender.

Seat Pitch:737-700 features 31 inches of legroom. B737-800 and B737-Max 8 feature 32 inches of legroom.

The Policy:

Ah, the very airline that inspired this article. If you’ve ever flown on Southwest you’re probably aware that it’s a tight squeeze, and the airline’s customer of size policy states that any passenger encroaching on an adjacent seat will be required to purchase an additional seat. Luckily, Southwest allows you to request a refund for the cost of the additional seat after travel.

In the event you haven’t purchased an additional seat in advance, you can speak to a Customer Service Agent at the departure gate and be accommodated with a complimentary additional seat if you need one, assuming the seat is available.

Southwest has come a long way since making headlines 12 years ago when they famously ejected director Kevin Smith from a flight from Oakland to Burbank.

Ready Southwest Airlines full customer of size policy here.

Spirit Airlines

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Armrest Width: 17 inches (window and aisle seat) 17.8 inches (middle seat), Big Front Seat 18.5 inches

Seatbelt Length: Information Not Available, though Spirit does contain seat belt extenders. Guests who need an extender may not sit in any seat equipped with an inflatable seat belt.

Seat Pitch: Standard Deluxe (an oxymoron if we’ve ever seen one) Leather Seats feature 30 inches of leg room with the Big Front Seats getting 36 inches.

The Policy:

Spirit’s policy states that any guest who encroaches on an adjacent seat or is unable to sit with the armrests lowered must purchase an additional seat at full cost. Luckily, for just $25 extra, you can purchase a Big Front Seat, which should give you the sort of room you’d expect in a typical first-class flight.

Read Spirit’s Big Front Seat policy here.

United Airlines

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Armrest Width: 16-17 inches on United Economy, 17 inches on United Economy Plus, 20 inches on First Class

Seatbelt Length: 39 inches + 25 inches with seat belt extender

Seat Pitch: United Economy features 30-31 inches of legroom, while United First enjoys 37 inches.

The Policy:

United Airlines has pretty much the worst policy for customers of size. If you’re unable to sit ‘safely and comfortably’ (meaning you’re able to sit with the seatbelt, an extension, and with your armrests down) in a single United Economy seat you’ll have to purchase an additional seat. The additional seat will be the same price as your initial seat so long as you purchase it on the same day. If you don’t and United decides you need more space, you’ll be charged whatever the fare level is on the day of departure.

United absolutely will not budge on being able to put those armrests down, even if you’re sitting with a family member or friend who doesn’t mind you encroaching on your seat.

In the event you need to change your flight, you’ll need to pay change fees for every seat you purchase, no exceptions. If you decline to buy an additional seat and United determines that you need one, you won’t be boarded.

If you need an additional seat, United will not relocate another customer to accommodate you, if an additional seat is not available, you’re required to rebook. In this case, United will waive the fees for flight changes.

If another passenger sits in your extra seat, United expects you to be an “active participant in preserving your extra seat.” Yeesh.

Read United Airlines full customer of size policy here.

As Andor continues to rack up rave reviews following its premiere, creator Tony Gilroy is opening up about the filmmaking process for the Star Wars series that takes a markedly different approach to the galaxy than previous streaming entries like The Mandalorian and Obi-Wan Kenobi. According to Gilroy, the trick is capturing a real experience despite the science fiction settings. However, that wasn’t always the easiest task given the mammoth imprint that Star Wars has had on pop culture.

Despite working with seasoned actors, Gilroy noticed right away that performers couldn’t help but change their approach to the material because it’s, well, Star Wars.

“We have this experience all the time,” Gilroy told The Hollywood Reporter. “In every department, we’ve had all kinds of people come in, and they know it’s Star Wars, so they change their behavior. They change their attitude. They change their thing.”

As he explains, it was a bit of process to overcome the Star Wars reverence issue, but he fully appreciates that it speaks to the “power” of the fictional universe:

An actor will come in off a Ken Loach movie or something, they’ll put on a Star Wars [costume], and all of a sudden, this great actor, who auditioned for you and didn’t know what it really was, starts acting differently. And you go, “Wait, no. Do your thing. You’re here because we want you to be real.” So it’s a testament to the potent power of Star Wars. It really gets into people’s heads, but to change the lane and do it this way, it takes a little effort.

Gilroy’s approach appears to be working. Andor is being praised for its detailed writing and lived-in feel that brings a fresh approach to Star Wars that moves away from its space opera/Saturday matinee serial style of storytelling.

The first three episodes of Andor are now streaming on Disney+.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

Rising Panamanian singer Boza travels to Medellín, Colombia with Beéle in their music video for “Qué Prefieres?” The song is a part of Boza’s EP bundle of the same name that was released today (September 23).

Boza has become of Panama’s biggest stars. In 2020, he released his breakthrough hit “Hecha Pa’ Mi,” which has amassed over 484 million streams on Spotify. A year later, Boza dropped “Ella,” which added another 304 million streams to his count. Considering that reggaeton music has roots in Panama that are often overlooked, Boza is proud to see his music hitting around the world.

“It’s an honor for me to represent my country, and I’m proud to have the opportunity to do so. It inspires me to continue taking my music to all corners of the world,” Boza told Uproxx.

Boza is keeping the momentum going with his EP bundle Qué Prefieres?. On the sultry title track, he regrouped with Colombian singer Beéle. Both artists take turns singing about getting caught up in romances that have mixed signals. The music video was filmed in the Colombian city of Medellín where Boza and Beéle’s complicated relationships play out.

“Beéle is a good friend and an incredible musician and artist. We’ve always had great chemistry together, and when we work things just flow. He’s always supported me throughout my career, and it was time that we came back together to produce another gem. I’m thankful for his support,” Boza said.

The EP also includes the new songs “Talismán” and “Pa’ Que Tú Me Vea.” The former flows like a hip-hop freestyle while the latter sees Boza embraces elements of Afrobeats, showing there’s no limits to his artistry. “Each of the tracks have a different message and a different sound, however, they mesh perfectly together,” he said.

Qué Prefieres? is out now via Sony Music Latin. Listen to it here.

As M. Night Shyamalan illustrated early in his career, there are two main types of “big twist” reveals: the kind that reveal an entire world of possibility and hidden meaning that you didn’t notice the first time around, like Bruce Willis being dead the entire time in The Sixth Sense (spoiler?); and the kind that explain the action coming before and reduce it down to something a little more disappointing, a little more mundane, like finding out the village in The Village wasn’t actually a 19th century settlement menaced by supernatural creatures, but a facsimile of it existing in modern times, with nary a creature to be found. There’s a reason people loved The Sixth Sense and not The Village. One introduced the supernatural, the other killed it.

In Don’t Worry Darling, Olivia Wilde and her screenwriters (Katie Silberman; Carey and Shane Van Dyke*) introduce possibly a third kind of big twist reveal, a kind that exposes a previously engaging story as pure artifice. Watching Don’t Worry Darling (which at least gave us an entertaining press tour, God bless it for that) is like some kind of reverse Pleasantville situation, where after the twist comes, rather than suddenly exposing you to a world of vivid color, it’s like all the town’s buildings are suddenly revealed as movie set facades and the landscapes become painted backdrops. Pinocchio turns back into wood and collapses to the floor, and the movie keeps going for another 30 minutes while Geppetto unconvincingly throws his voice.

Florence Pugh (who may or may not have been feuding with her director on the set) plays Alice Chambers, devoted sorta Stepford wife to Jack (British pop star Harry Styles), who’s so obsessed with his hotwife that when he comes home from work to find a nice roast beef dinner, he throws Alice on the table instead, yanks off her underwear and has himself another sort of nice roast beef dinner (I’m so sorry for this). The two live in a planned community full of bungalow-style houses in what looks like Palm Springs, where all the men work on a mysterious, Cold War-era-esque defense project, and all the women spend their days drinking martinis, going to ballet classes together, and talking about their husbands.

Project Victory, the project and the town are called, which are led by Frank (Chris Pine), who, supported by his mostly mute wife played by Gemma Chan, gives the men vaguely intimidating pump-up speeches and generally doles out patronage like a king at court (or like a tech executive with much better clothes). Other than that it seems like a pretty nice life — impeccably-styled mid-century modern home furnishings, great soul music always on the turntable, rampant generally sanctioned alcoholism — and yet Alice can’t shake the feeling that something is amiss. Like the time she goes to crack some eggs to make her famous deviled eggs** and they’re all revealed to be empty shells. What the f*ck?

Not once does the movie trouble itself to attach some meaning to those hollow eggs. Wilde only seems capable of illustrating Alice’s growing unease through these types of visual conceits, repeating hallucinatory music video-style montages that convey only the vague sense of psychological trauma and nothing specific.

The Chambers’ Mad Men paradise keeps getting weirder by degrees until finally Alice’s “technical engineer” husband gets a promotion, which he celebrates by doing a full Scatman tapdance routine onstage at the company outing at a moodily lit speakeasy. This is the last straw. We all know engineers can’t tap dance! And they definitely don’t have perfect hair and sympathetic doe eyes like Harry Styles (you can understand how Olivia Wilde fell in love with him — ALLEGEDLY — which, if she could admit it, she could point out male directors have been doing for years).

Alice once again runs off to Camp Victory’s “forbidden zone” where the hallucinations happen (the film really isn’t much more specific than that), and an hour and 15 or so minutes into the movie, Don’t Worry Darling finally lays its cards on the table. Without spoiling anything, the cards essentially say THANKS FOR PLAY CARD GAEM in crayon.

Don’t Worry Darling is sort of like The Matrix, if after The Matrix was revealed, the movie did nothing to explain how The Matrix actually works, or how Neo was supposed to bring it down, and only kept shouting what it was supposed to be a metaphor for at you for a while.

We know the movie is about gaslighting. Which is already a term so overused it threatens to become meaningless. A finale in which the heroine essentially screams “stop gaslighting me!” for 20 minutes is not an interesting way to explore the phenomenon, let alone develop these characters. It feels like the movie skipped from pitch (here is the premise, here are the themes, here’s why it will be timely to tell it) to production before it had a chance to become a story.

Which is a shame, because the cinematography looks great and the cast (Pugh, Styles, Pine, Nick Kroll, Kate Berlant, Kiki Lane…) are mostly acting their butts off. It’s all very alluring and sexy and intriguing right up until the point when it reveals that it has nothing to say.

*Dick’s grandson
**I’m genuinely unsure whether the movie knows that you have to boil eggs to make deviled eggs.

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‘Don’t Worry Darling’ opens September 23rd in theaters nationwide. Vince Mancini is on Twitter. More reviews here.