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When it comes to beer, there are none quite as divisive as the fall seasonal infused with pumpkin. Whether it’s an ale, lager, stout, or something else, pumpkin-flavored beer is either beloved and eagerly awaited or derided and despised, without much in-between. This probably has something to do with the phenomenon whereby pumpkin beers seem to either be lightly flavored with pumpkin and have just a hint of spice, and have just enough complementary flavors to even everything out, orrrr they’re the flavor palate equivalent of a pumpkin spice candy exploding in a beer can.

Regardless of how you feel about it, breweries all over the country release their versions every fall. That means that when late summer and early autumn arrive, there’s a veritable cornucopia of options for pumpkin beer almost anywhere beer is sold.

We found eight of these pumpkin-fueled brews and instead of simply kicking back and drinking them while we watched early-season NFL games and waited for fall to arrive, we decided to nose them, taste them, and rank them. Yes, we tackled pumpkin beer. Keep scrolling to see how everything turned out.

Today’s Lineup:

• Southern Tier Pumking
• Dogfish Head Punkin Ale
• Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale
• Elysian Night Owl
• Brooklyn Post Road Pumpkin Ale
• Schlafly Pumpkin Ale
• Two Roads Roadsmary’s Baby
• New Holland Ichabod

Part 1: The Taste

Taste 1

Tasting Notes:

Aromas of butterscotch, cinnamon, ginger, caramel malts, and a healthy dose of baked pumpkin greet my nose before my first sip. The palate was more of the same with ginger, cinnamon, vanilla, and sweet, cooked pumpkin taking center stage. Even with all of the various flavors, everything seemed to be in proper balance. Overall, a decent example of the style.

Taste 2

Tasting Notes:

Complex aromas of dried fruits, pumpkin, cinnamon, allspice, oak, and sweet caramel met my nose before the first sip. The palate is filled with flavors like raisins, vanilla beans, caramel, bready malts, and ripe pumpkin. It’s surprisingly complex and flavorful for a pumpkin ale. This one is something special for sure.

Taste 3

Tasting Notes:

This doesn’t smell like any pumpkin beer I’ve ever had. In fact, it barely smells like pumpkin beer. There’s maybe a hint of cooked pumpkin and some cinnamon, but not much else. Overall, a very boring nose. Drinking it revealed more muted pumpkin and maybe some cinnamon and nutmeg. While I don’t like overly spiced, sweet pumpkin beers, this one almost had no flavor at all.

Taste 4

Tasting Notes:

Immediately a parade of wintry spices hit my nose. Allspice, cinnamon, ginger, the whole game was there. But they left little to no actual beer or even pumpkin aroma to be found. The taste was more of the same with a cavalcade of spices as well as an overly sweet caramel flavor. Overall, this beer doesn’t know if it wants to be spicy, sweet, or even taste like pumpkin.

Taste 5

Tasting Notes:

This beer smells like you just got trapped in a closet filled with pumpkin spice candles at Yankee Candle. It’s heavy on cinnamon, ginger, and vanilla. But those aromas were so strong that I didn’t notice anything else. The palate is a little better with a decent malt backbone, but it was more of the over-the-top wintry spices like allspice and cinnamon. It was just too much.

Taste 6

Tasting Notes:

This beer literally smells like a pumpkin pie. There’s a hint of graham cracker, sweet pumpkins, fall spices, and maybe a little nutty sweetness. Sipping it revealed more biscuity malts, toasted vanilla beans, cinnamon, and more pumpkin. While it seems more like a dessert beer than a regular sipper, it’s a well-balanced, memorable seasonal brew.

Taste 7

Tasting Notes:

This beer smells like a pumpkin pie that was put into a blender and then mixed with a water beer. Allspice and cinnamon are dominant. The flavor is a different story altogether. While there are notes of cinnamon, pumpkin, and other spices, it’s all very thin, watery, and weak. This is one of the least exciting pumpkin beers I’ve ever tried.

Taste 8

Tasting Notes:

Another overly spiced pumpkin beer. The nose is dominated by allspice, cinnamon, and even a hint of pepper. No noticeable pumpkin though. The palate had more spices but also had a nice hint of fresh pumpkin flavor and a bit of malt flavor in the background. Still heavily spiced, but not uncomfortably so like some I’ve tried.

Part 2: The Rankings

8) Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale (Taste 7)

ABV: 4.5%

Average Price: $9.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This popular wheat ale from Shipyard out of Portland, Maine is surprisingly low in alcohol (4.5% ABV) for a pumpkin beer. It’s light, crisp, and brewed with Willamette and Saphir hops as well as Pale Ale, Whole Wheat, Munich Light malts, and pumpkin and spice flavors.

Bottom Line:

This is watery, thin, and surprisingly bland for a spiced pumpkin ale. It’s an absolute snooze-fest of a beer.

7) Schlafly Pumpkin Ale (Taste 5)

ABV: 8%

Average Price: $12.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This is a surprisingly complicated fall seasonal beer. It’s made by fermenting pounds of pumpkin with brewer’s wort and sugar before everything is filtered with a spice infusion of nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon. This is pumpkin spice to the maximum.

Bottom Line:

This is the type of beer for those fall fanatics who are obsessed with anything pumpkin spice. It’s loaded with everything you love. For the rest of us, it’s a no-go.

6) Brooklyn Post Road Pumpkin Ale (Taste 3)

ABV: 6.7%

Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This is one of the first pumpkin beers I ever tried more than a decade ago. This 5% ABV pumpkin ale is supposed to taste the way a similar beer would have tasted during colonial days. They do this by adding a massive number of pumpkins and spices during the brewing process.

Bottom Line:

Brooklyn does a lot of things well. Its pumpkin beer isn’t one of them. This beer is the capital of Flavorless City in the country of Bland.

5) Elysian Night Owl (Taste 4)

ABV: 6.7%

Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

The most well-known of Elysian’s fall lineup, Night Owl is a pumpkin ale brewed with pumpkin puree and juice. It gets its spiced flavor from the addition of nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon, and ginger. On top of that, the pumpkin is cranked up even high by the addition of roasted and raw pumpkin seeds in the mash.

Bottom Line:

This beer is all over the place. It’s over-the-top spiced, it’s weirdly sweet, and it doesn’t taste enough like pumpkins. I’m sure it has its fans. I’m just not one of them.

4) Dogfish Head Punkin Ale (Taste 8)

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $12.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Dogfish Head’s popular pumpkin beer is technically a brown ale. It’s brewed with real pumpkins, brown sugar, and various seasonal spices. It’s named for a Delaware fall event referred to as “Punkin Chunkin” in which people build contraptions to throw pumpkins as far as possible.

Bottom Line:

Still a little more spiced than I’d prefer, Dogfish Head’s pumpkin seasonal at least leans in the right direction. There’s slightly more going on with this beer than simply pumpkin spice.

3) New Holland Ichabod (Taste 1)

ABV: 4.5%

Average Price: $12 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Named for the protagonist in the Washington Irving fall classic story “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” this pumpkin ale is brewed with real pumpkin, malted barley, nutmeg, and cinnamon. It was created to taste like fall in a can.

Bottom Line:

New Holland’s Ichabod is loaded with fall spices and fresh pumpkin, but it also has enough of a malt backbone to even everything out.

2) Southern Tier Pumking (Taste 6)

ABV: 8.6%

Average Price: $15.99 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

This bold, high-ABV imperial pumpkin ale is eagerly awaited every fall by its fans. Brewed with ale yeast, two hop varieties, two different malts, pumpkin, and spices, it’s been an autumnal favorite for years.

Bottom Line:

This is a complex, surprisingly well-balanced, bold pumpkin beer. It’s so flavorful you’ll want to go back to it again and again. Especially on chilly fall nights.

1) Two Roads Roadsmary’s Baby (Taste 2)

ABV: 6.8%

Average Price: $12.99 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Named for the iconic horror film Rosemary’s Baby, this seasonal favorite from Two Roads begins as your classic pumpkin ale. But the folks at Two Roads decided that wasn’t good enough as they aged it in former rum barrels to add a sweet, oaky, rich flavor.

Bottom Line:

This is the best of the bunch by far. It’s easy to add too many spices and make pumpkin ales one-dimensional. But this one has it all. Warming spices, dried fruits, sweet malts, and a nice pumpkin flavor.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

Pumpkin ales are really tricky. When done wrong (in my opinion) they can end up as overly-spiced, cloyingly sweet pumpkin soda-tasting garbage. When done right, they’re complex, balanced, and give you a great, warming fall feeling. The beers that landed higher on my list fall into the latter category. Bring on fall. I’m ready now.

In the past few weeks, Nicki Minaj has seen a huge resurgence in prominence following a relatively quiet few years, thanks in part to the 2022 MTV Video Music Awards honoring her with a Video Vanguard Award. She’s also got a new single, “Super Freaky Girl,” out, along with an all-female remix featuring BIA, JT, Katie Got Bandz, and Maliibu Miitch. But as much attention as she has received for her music, she’s gotten even more for the drama being caused by her latest episode of Queen Radio.

In addition to apparently shading Latto for positing that there is more balance among women in rap, Nicki also spotlighted an artist that she worked with she says encouraged her to get an abortion. “Imagine telling someone you didn’t want a drink… you know, because you were, at the time, possibly pregnant, because you were actively trying to have a baby,” she said. “Imagine that person saying, ‘Oh girl, you can go to the clinic!’”

Naturally, fans were quick to speculate, with some latching onto Megan Thee Stallion as a possible target. The two women collaborated in 2019 on the song “Hot Girl Summer” and one of Meg’s signature moves at the time was encouraging friends to “drive the boat” — aka, let her pour a shot directly into their mouths. However, Meg was quick to shut down those accusations.

Brie Larson loves to shut down any Marvel haters, and she’s honestly pretty good at it. We all know how powerful Brie is — she can pick up Thor’s hammer after all. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the female Marvel crew takes over.

While at the D23 Expo over the weekend, Larson joined forces with fellow Marvel women Nia DaCosta, Teyonah Parris, and Miss Marvel herself, Iman Vellani, for an iconic photo of the four of them. She captioned the pics “*trolls combust*” as a nod to the very, uh, vocal Marvel fans who are often criticizing the women of the superhero franchise.

Photos via Getty Images

The quartet is leading the next phase of Marvel as their movie The Marvels will help kick off Phase Five of the MCU next year. It is also the first Marvel movie to be directed by a Black woman and will serve as a sequel to 2019’s Captain Marvel.

Larson has received massive amounts of criticism and trolling for much of her career and even more so once she joined the MCU. But she’s not one to back down or keep quiet, hence the pretty monumental tweet. That didn’t stop people from sending hateful replies anyway!

Still, for every incorrect hater, there are also supporters of the women.

The Marvels hits theaters on July 28th, 2023.

This article originally appeared on 02.04.21

One of the greatest parenting milestones is the day you get to explain to your children the basics of sex. Sometimes that day arrives because a kid bluntly asks how babies are made, sometimes parents bring it up so their kids to hear it from them before they hear it from other people, and sometimes it’s a result of an unexpected encounter (like a kid walking in on their parents doing the deed).

However you arrive at it, that initial conversation is always interesting. No matter how prepared you think you are, some awkward hilarity is inevitable as you navigate those new waters. Sex is pretty simple on the one hand, but quite complicated on the other, and figuring what details to share at what stage is a tricky balancing act.

Some kids are open and curious and ask a million questions. Some kids are quiet and reserved and process it all in their own sweet time. But the first reaction of most pre-pubescent kids when they first hear about the mechanics of sex, even if you introduce it in a sex-positive way, is something along the lines of “What?? Are you serious? EW.” And when they connect the dots that their parents had sex in order for them to be alive, the reaction gets even funnier.

A thread on Twitter illustrates how true this is as parents share their children’s reactions to hearing about the birds and the bees.

Reaction from my kids after explaining how sex works:

“You’ve done this THREE TIMES?”

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

Clearly, Megan has three kids. Logic.

Some kids let questions slip out before thinking about whether they really want to know the answer. Once you know it, you can’t unknow it. Sorry, kiddo.

Parents have to be prepared for awkward questions, but sometimes you really can’t predict what a kid might want to know. Kids aren’t exactly known for having boundaries, and that’s doubly true for a topic that’s totally new for them.

@Kezfromchadders @meganmuircoyle My daughter (6 at the time) asked if we need to have a doctor watch us do it since… https://t.co/JA5Dfy2BbA

— Laura Zaugg (@Laura Zaugg)
1612383591

@AnnieTook @meganmuircoyle I remember asking my mom how you’d know “ when you inseminated a woman”. I was like 9 an… https://t.co/g11TnU7zBv

— Space Nerd 🚀🚀🚀 #BLM (@Space Nerd 🚀🚀🚀 #BLM)
1612373726

Most of us don’t like to imagine our parents having sex, so this is one area where kids who are adopted have somewhat of an advantage (until they learn that procreation isn’t the only reason people have sex).

@meganmuircoyle My kids are adopted, and I once heard, “Well, at least you guys didn’t have to do THAT!”

— Wendy Gassaway (@Wendy Gassaway)
1612369531

It’s not just the questions, but the declarations that come along with kids learning about sex that can take parents by surprise.

@meganmuircoyle My kid learned about it in the backseat at Target in a spur of the moment conversation. We got home… https://t.co/aqRtY79sEP

— long story short, we survived 🌊🪩 (@long story short, we survived 🌊🪩)
1612360219

@meganmuircoyle @bames_jrolin My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he sponta… https://t.co/S7Fl4RNZcC

— Nana JPG (@Nana JPG)
1612381203

It’s always entertaining to see a kid’s understanding move from innocence to reality.

And even more entertaining when you realize that you were the one who inadvertently introduced your kid to a sexual concept you may not have been prepared to discuss.

@fitz_lorie @meganmuircoyle @JoJoFromJerz I asked my mom the same question around the same age. She wanted to know… https://t.co/GT1G1MaL46

— Rebecca (@Rebecca)
1612398714

And then there are the unintentional misunderstandings that occur when kids don’t get quite enough information.

@BH_Kohn @meganmuircoyle https://t.co/eta3Thsl5s

— Chad (@Chad)
1612398959

Perhaps the funniest part about talking about sex with kids is how actually kind of weird the physical act really is when you think about it. Of course it seems absurd to children who haven’t sexually developed yet.

@JessicaReens @meganmuircoyle Wow, they have it SO backwards! 😂

— Dr. Gemma Angel 🍞🌹🌏🏳️‍🌈 (@Dr. Gemma Angel 🍞🌹🌏🏳️‍🌈)
1612367869

In fact, some kids find it so weird, they literally don’t believe it.

@KathlynClore @meganmuircoyle I used to think that people got pregnant by kissing, the baby would grow and eat in y… https://t.co/7JXLHhXwLA

— . (@.)
1612378055

Like, what the heck with this design? And they don’t even know at this point about the nitty-gritty details that you only really know once you’ve done it.

@hobwas @meganmuircoyle Kid is like: 🤣 https://t.co/2BPeT1JKjB

— Trey Felder (@Trey Felder)
1612367104

As funny as these stories are, the fact that parents are having open and honest conversations with their kids about sex is seriously awesome. Some people do their kids a disservice by being too creeped out to talk about it, or maybe worrying they’ll give too much info, so they don’t talk about it.

Whatever your moral perspectives on the topic, sex is part of life. It’s basic health and biology. It’s a human reality that everyone learns about one way or another, and it’s generally better for kids to learn about sex from their parents than from their peers, who might give wrong information. Starting early by answering kids’ questions matter-of-factly, giving age-appropriate details (which admittedly can be hard to discern), and bringing up the topic occasionally if your kids don’t can help kids ease into a healthy understanding of sex.

While the basic mechanics conversation is indeed a parenting milestone, the best parent-child conversations about sex are ongoing and ever-expanding. Making consent and boundaries part of the conversation is vital as well. Some uncomfortable moments may be inevitable, but keep the line of communication wide open will go a long way toward helping kids prepare for what’s to come.

u201cReaction from my kids after explaining how sex works:nnu201cYouu2019ve done this THREE TIMES?u201du201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

A thread on Twitter illustrates how true this is as parents share their children’s reactions to hearing about the birds and the bees.

“@Kezfromchadders @meganmuircoyle My daughter (6 at the time) asked if we need to have a doctor watch us do it since he is putting something inside my body. Then she asked if she could see how far it goes inside. 😬 We then explained privacy.”

u201c@Kezfromchadders @meganmuircoyle My daughter (6 at the time) asked if we need to have a doctor watch us do it since he is putting something inside my body. Then she asked if she could see how far it goes inside. ud83dude2c We then explained privacy.u201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

Clearly, Megan has three kids. Logic.

Some kids let questions slip out before thinking about whether they really want to know the answer. Once you know it, you can’t unknow it. Sorry, kiddo.

@meganmuircoyle On a summer walk my 1 boy(9) was asking ? about sex & I explained everything. My husband was away f… https://t.co/0hHQQxUFgt— arlene geerlinks (@arlene geerlinks) 1612372163.0

Parents have to be prepared for awkward questions, but sometimes you really can’t predict what a kid might want to know. Kids aren’t exactly known for having boundaries, and that’s doubly true for a topic that’s totally new for them.

“@AnnieTook @meganmuircoyle I remember asking my mom how you’d know “ when you inseminated a woman”. I was like 9 and I still remember the look on Her face.”

u201c@AnnieTook @meganmuircoyle I remember asking my mom how youu2019d know u201c when you inseminated a womanu201d. I was like 9 and I still remember the look on Her face.u201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

Most of us don’t like to imagine our parents having sex, so this is one area where kids who are adopted have somewhat of an advantage (until they learn that procreation isn’t the only reason people have sex).

“@meganmuircoyle My kids are adopted, and I once heard, “Well, at least you guys didn’t have to do THAT!””

u201c@meganmuircoyle My kids are adopted, and I once heard, “Well, at least you guys didn’t have to do THAT!”u201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

“@meganmuircoyle My kid learned about it in the backseat at Target in a spur of the moment conversation. We got home and she goes up to her Dad, “YOU STUCK YOUR PENIS IN MOM’S VAGINA TWICE!!!””

u201c@meganmuircoyle My kid learned about it in the backseat at Target in a spur of the moment conversation. We got home and she goes up to her Dad, u201cYOU STUCK YOUR PENIS IN MOMu2019S VAGINA TWICE!!!u201du201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

It’s not just the questions, but the declarations that come along with kids learning about sex that can take parents by surprise.

“@meganmuircoyle @bames_jrolin My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he spontaneously stood up on his chair, flexed his biceps and loudly announced, “I am strong and healthy and full of sperm!””

u201c@meganmuircoyle @bames_jrolin My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he spontaneously stood up on his chair, flexed his biceps and loudly announced, u201cI am strong and healthy and full of sperm!u201du201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

It’s always entertaining to see a kid’s understanding move from innocence to reality.

@meganmuircoyle when he got older I told him about the cervix, contractions, labour etc and he was like “oh. okay.… https://t.co/u7mnCiVYUg— L. (@L.) 1612384726.0

And even more entertaining when you realize that you were the one who inadvertently introduced your kid to a sexual concept you may not have been prepared to discuss.

“@fitz_lorie @meganmuircoyle @JoJoFromJerz I asked my mom the same question around the same age. She wanted to know where I had heard such a word from. Ummm from you and my aunt talking the other day. 😂😂😂😂 She never asked that question again! It’s important to know I was raised Southern Baptist! 😂”

u201c@fitz_lorie @meganmuircoyle @JoJoFromJerz I asked my mom the same question around the same age. She wanted to know where I had heard such a word from. Ummm from you and my aunt talking the other day. ud83dude02ud83dude02ud83dude02ud83dude02 She never asked that question again! Itu2019s important to know I was raised Southern Baptist! ud83dude02u201d

— megan (@megan)
1612314141

And then there are the unintentional misunderstandings that occur when kids don’t get quite enough information.

Perhaps the funniest part about talking about sex with kids is how actually kind of weird the physical act really is when you think about it. Of course it seems absurd to children who haven’t sexually developed yet.

In fact, some kids find it so weird, they literally don’t believe it.

Like, what the heck with this design? And they don’t even know at this point about the nitty-gritty details that you only really know once you’ve done it.

As funny as these stories are, the fact that parents are having open and honest conversations with their kids about sex is seriously awesome. Some people do their kids a disservice by being too creeped out to talk about it, or maybe worrying they’ll give too much info, so they don’t talk about it.

Whatever your moral perspectives on the topic, sex is part of life. It’s basic health and biology. It’s a human reality that everyone learns about one way or another, and it’s generally better for kids to learn about sex from their parents than from their peers, who might give wrong information. Starting early by answering kids’ questions matter-of-factly, giving age-appropriate details (which admittedly can be hard to discern), and bringing up the topic occasionally if your kids don’t can help kids ease into a healthy understanding of sex.

While the basic mechanics conversation is indeed a parenting milestone, the best parent-child conversations about sex are ongoing and ever-expanding. Making consent and boundaries part of the conversation is vital as well. Some uncomfortable moments may be inevitable, but keep the line of communication wide open will go a long way toward helping kids prepare for what’s to come.

One of the best things about Drake — or worst, depending on how you look at it — is how he romanticizes practically everything about his life. His son’s finger painting is the next Picasso, he envisions himself as a smooth player from the 1970s complete with a shag cut, and he treats his rec league basketball championships like the NBA. In short, he does what I fully believe most of us would do with his kind of money. The real sticking point is that he chooses to show it all off, which is pretty revolutionary, in its way.

And when I say he celebrated his back-to-back Sanctuary Basketball League championships as if they were NBA ones, I mean he really went all-out. According to Complex, Drake apparently had championship rings made for his team at $100,000 per ring. He’s shown them off via his Instagram Story, while the jeweler, Jason Arasheben of Beverly Hills, provided the details, as well as a statement:

As someone who wishes I could play ball professionally I respect Drake for making his dream a reality with his own league. We always have a good time when we work together and it has been fun working on these championship rings with him for the last three years. Drake had a clear vision of what he wanted and we worked really well together to make that happen. I enjoy the challenge of telling the story of the season and incorporating everything into the design and onto a ring, while still using as many diamonds as possible.

Drake contracted Jason for his rec league previous championship in 2020, paying $50,000 per ring, as well as one for the Toronto Raptors’ 2019 NBA championship. Check out this year’s rings below.

Ahead of the 2022 Emmy Awards airing tonight on NBC and Peacock, a second wave of nominated celebrity presenters have been added to the lineup last-minute. Hosted by Saturday Night Live comedian Kenan Thompson, the show will be held at Los Angeles’ Microsoft Theater. “About Damn Time” singer Lizzo is joining the show, as she is up for six awards for her Amazon Prime show Lizzo’s Watch Out For The Big Grrrls.

The competition series was set around Lizzo seeking out new background dancers for her tour. Her category nominations include outstanding competition program, outstanding directing for a reality program, outstanding casting for a reality program, outstanding cinematography for a reality program, outstanding editing for a competition program, and outstanding sound mixing for a variety series.

“My grrrls. We didn’t do this for awards, we did this for ourselves. For the lives we touched making this… To shake up the industry.. and show the world how BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED WE AREEEEE!” Lizzo shared on Instagram, following the nomination announcement in July. Outside of producing her competition show, Lizzo has continued her powerful music career, releasing her album Special that same month.

A few additional celebs presenting at tonight’s Emmy Awards include Only Murders In The Building stars Steve Martin and Martin Short, The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White and Ayo Edebiri, Inventing Anna creator Shonda Rhimes, American Crime Story’s Sarah Paulson, and many more. Selena Gomez (OMITB) and Daytime Emmy winner Kelly Clarkson will also appear, as they were among the first wave announcees. John Legend will perform during the In Memoriam segment and Zedd is the event’s DJ.

Continue scrolling for a complete list of the second wave Emmy Awards presenters, with nominees available here.

Anthony Anderson (Black-ish)
Gael García Bernal (Station Eleven)
RuPaul Charles (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
Ismael Cruz Córdova (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power)
Rosario Dawson (The Book of Boba Fett; Dopesick)
Ayo Edebiri (The Bear)
Taron Egerton (Black Bird)
Regina Hall (Honk for Jesus: Save Your Soul)
Paul Walter Hauser (Black Bird; Cobra Kai)
Freddie Highmore (The Good Doctor)
Mindy Kaling (Never Have I Ever; The Sex Lives of College Girls)
Markella Kavenagh (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power)
Jake Lacy (The White Lotus)
Juliette Lewis (Yellowjackets)
Lizzo (Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls)
Kumail Nanjiani (Welcome to Chippendales)
Steve Martin (Only Murders in the Building)
Shemar Moore (S.W.A.T.)
B.J. Novak (The Premise)
Chris O’Donnell (NCIS: Los Angeles)
Sarah Paulson (American Crime Story)
Shonda Rhimes (Inventing Anna)
Martin Short (Only Murders in the Building)
Sofía Vergara (America’s Got Talent)
Jeremy Allen White (The Bear)
Chandra Wilson (Grey’s Anatomy)
Bowen Yang (Saturday Night Live)

Lizzo is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

To the surprise of no one, Donald Trump reportedly told aides and administration staff that he was simply going to not leave the White House after losing to Joe Biden in the 2020 election. The revelations come from New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman‘s upcoming book, Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America, which details the chaos in the Oval Office following Trump’s loss.

According to an excerpt provided to CNN, there was a brief moment when Trump acknowledged that he lost to Biden and appeared to be embarrassed by the outcome. “We did our best,” Trump reportedly told junior aides, “I thought we had it.”

However, the situation quickly turned as Trump committed himself to his election fraud narrative and started telling people, “We’re never leaving. How can you leave when you won an election?”

Trump began soliciting advice from anyone and everyone on how to reject the results of the 2020 election including his personal soda valet (who he summoned via a button). Via CNN:

Haberman writes that Trump’s post-election period was reminiscent of his attempts to claw his way back from dire financial straits three decades earlier, in which he tried to keep all options open for as long as he could. But Trump couldn’t decide which path to follow after his 2020 defeat. Haberman writes that he quizzed nearly everyone about which options would lead to success — including the valet who brought Diet Cokes when Trump pressed a red button on his Oval Office desk.

Haberman also revealed that Jared Kushner refused to confront Trump about the election loss and told people that those conversations were like visiting someone on their deathbed. “The priest comes later,” Kushner would say when asked to talk some sense into Trump.

(Via CNN)

Like a groundhog in rural Pennsylvania, Ray J appears once a year. Except instead of informing us how many more weeks of winter to expect, he popped up to talk about his sex tape with Kim Kardashian.

Last week, Kris Jenner appeared on The Late Late Show, where she was hooked up to a lie detector and asked by host James Corden whether she helped her daughter release her sex tape, Kim Kardashian, Superstar. A very normal thing for a mother to do. “No,” Jenner firmly replied. Kardashian’s scene partner, Ray J, isn’t convinced.

“YOU f€Cked with THE WRONG BLACK MAN krisjenner @kimkardashian — I DONT GIVE A F*CK HOW OLD THIS SH*T IS!! WHAT YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME IS ALMOST INHUMANE AND FOUL AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL— F*CK THIS BEING JUST RACIST — THIS IS WRONG TO DO TO ANYBODY— YOU THINK YOU. CAN JUST F*CK PEOPLE OVER AND GET AWAY WITH IT FOREVER!!!” he wrote in a rambling Instagram post. Ray J also called out the guy who administrated the lie detector test, John Grogan, calling him a “fake” and a “polygraph parasite.”

IT WAS YOUR MOMS IDEA — YOU WANNA TAKE A FAKE LIE DETECTOR TEST WITH JOHN.GROJAN — ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GOGGLE HIM AND LOOK AT WHAT COMES. UP! — CLOWN SH*T!! John Grogan is a fake. He is not a polygraph examiner. He is quite accurately known as the polygraph parasite. He’s been convicted of twenty-six counts of fraud and had his P.I. license pulled from him, and he simply became a world-known polygraph examiner. It’s all B.S. He never graduated from a polygraph school, and everyone knows him for what he is, and I can’t believe he has the things to go on a radio show, have people like me listen, and expect not to be disclosed. THIS IS THE DUDE KRIS JENNER HAD TAKENHER LIE DETECTOR TEST TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A LIAR! AND WHATS MORE SAD IS THE NETWORK ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN!! EVERYBODY IS GETTING SUED BC 4 DEFAMATION!! YOU THOUGHT KIM AND KRIS STORIES WAS TRUE SO YOU RAN THE STORY!! FACTS ARE ITS COMPLETELY FALSE

Ray J ended the post by claiming that “no one CAN STOP ME IM OVERSEAS AT A VILLA IN #dominicanrepublic,” which I’m going to co-opt as my personal sign off, the way Tom Hanks signs tweets with “hanx.” You can read the Instagram message below because no one CAN STOP ME IM OVERSEAS AT A VILLA IN #dominicanrepublic.

“In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.” [Dun dun!] – Dick Wolf’s Law & Order: SVU

Everyone knows that introduction, but as it turns out, most real-life investigations of sexually-based offenses (or any offenses) aren’t neatly tied up in a narrative that runs about an hour. That doesn’t stop the Law & Order universe from being so wildly popular that the three current running series are holding a massive crossover event this month. I dig the shows as much as anyone else and very much enjoy Organized Crime bringing back Elliot Stabler, who’s deftly nabbing the bad dudes and receiving comeuppance at the same time. Yet as it turns out, there’s a lot of dark fantasy (including House of the Dragon, Lord of the Rings: The Rings Of Power, and The Sandman) on TV right now, but the literal dark fantasy might be taking place in the Dick Wolf TV universe.

For example, an overwhelming percentage of Law & Order episodes sees the perp being readily apprehended and put to swift justice. Here’s how John Oliver sums things up (with a swing at the Dragnet-obsessed Dick Wolf) on the most recent Last Week Tonight episode:

“[I]t blasts that fantasy at you in endless reruns and marathons in the guise of very well-produced, extremely entertaining TV. But underneath it all, it is a commercial (a commercial produced by a man who is, in his own words, unabashedly pro-law enforcement.”

And everyone who’s tangled with the real-life justice system knows that the wheels get caught in molasses. Hearings get continued, dockets are crowded, law enforcement isn’t perfect (nor is anyone else), and there are a million circumstances outside of everyone’s control. Oliver’s not really having it, though, and he explained why:

“Obviously, Law & Order cannot reflect that reality. It would be unwatchable. Nobody wants to watch a show where 97 percent of episodes end with two lawyers striking a deal in a windowless room and then you get to watch the defendant serve six months and struggle to get a job at their local Jiffy Lube… the person who is responsible for Law & Order and its brand is Dick Wolf, and he knows exactly what he wants his shows to do and, importantly, not to do.”

A fair point. However, that won’t stop anyone (even those who are frustrated by the slow, overwhelmed justice system) from watching the Law & Order crossover event on September 22. Yet maybe we can watch these shows with a more critical eye, like the Last Week Tonight deep dive does, as seen above.

One thing about Cardi B is she keeps a finger on the national pulse and always has a response that reflects how the average person might be feeling about current events. Although she has stopped talking about politics, she’s still a news junkie at heart, just as likely to ask for empathy in the wake of a heartbreaking tragedy as she is to illuminate fears of an impending global pandemic.

Naturally, the “WAP” rapper had a pretty salient take on a pair of related crises in a live stream over the weekend. Taking on inflation and the housing crisis, Cardi gave a pretty apt breakdown of the problem while sharing her relatable response. Clicking her signature nails on her table, she recalled how she helped two cousins get apartments months apart, only to discover that rent prices had skyrocketed in the time since. “The way that the prices soared up… how are people surviving?” she wondered. “I wanna know!”

She pointed out how not everyone has a Cardi B in their life to help them out. She also flexed a little bit, shutting down critics who want to blame this global crisis on US President Joe Biden. “I wanna tell y’all that I get it,” she stressed. “Don’t ever think I’m one of these rich people that don’t get it and don’t give a f*ck… but I can’t do sh*t about it.” You can check out Cardi’s full video below.

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.