Losing a baby is a tragedy at any stage when it’s the one thing that you’ve hoped for but losing a baby later in pregnancy can feel even more devastating. Getting pregnant after loss can be filled with anxiety so when Chrissy Teigan cautiously announced she was pregnant with her 4th child, mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss collectively shared her apprehension.
In 2020 Teigen excitedly announced that she and her husband, singer John Legend were expecting their third child and much of the internet was elated for them. But sadly the pregnancy ended at 20 weeks and the famous couple bravely shared the pictures of their beautiful son Jack with the world. The experience was understandably traumatic for the couple but their bravery in sharing the news allowed for others to open up about their own losses while offering support to the couple.
Now, two years later, the pair are expecting again and Teigen shared her apprehension on telling the world she was pregnant saying in part, “Every appointment I’ve said to myself, “ok if it’s healthy today I’ll announce” but then I breathe a sigh of relief to hear a heartbeat and decide I’m just too nervous still.” The supermodel continued, “I don’t think I’ll ever walk out of an appointment with more excitement than nerves but so far, everything is perfect and beautiful and I’m feeling hopeful and amazing.”
Teigen isn’t alone in her experience. Danielle Campoamor shared her own story in an essay on Today sharing her own experience with losing a baby at 19 weeks. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and about 1 in 100 end at or after the 20 week mark. Each year 24,000 babies are still born in America. The number feels staggering and it’s a subject that is not talked about enough as it’s a club no one wants to join. Teigen sharing her story and photos of losing her son Jack helped catapult the reality of infant loss into the spotlight.
So when the mom of 3 shared she was expecting again, Teigen’s comments on Instagram were filled with people wishing her well and sharing their experiences. One commenter, Hilari Seagears wrote, “Girl! After 4 miscarriages im 7 months pregnant with no medical intervention. Can we say MIRACLE!? 😭 i feel you 100000000000%.” While Robyn Oyung said, “CHRISSY MY EYES ARE IMMEDIATELY FULL OF TEARS I AM SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY CONGRATULATIONS LOVE YOU 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹.”
The positive enveloping of the expectant mom did not stop there, LiShelle Trembath told the model, “Well done. The struggle to let yourself be happy and confident, is real and valid. You’re doing all the right things to honor Jack. He’d be so proud.” While Ruth Kennedy sent her well wishes gently saying, “Gentle congratulations ❤️ I’m also pregnant after loss and can absolutely relate to the nerves and anxiety xx.”
Of course there were celebrities in the comments as well, but the amount of mothers that are showering Teigen with love and well wishes were overwhelming. We are wishing Teigen and all the people experiencing pregnancy after loss healthy and smooth pregnancies.
When we think about elections, so many of us focus on presidential elections and forget about congressional, statewide or even smaller, local elections. The documentary film, “A Run for More,” focuses on Frankie Gonzales-Wolfe as she runs for one of those local positions—city council member in San Antonio, Texas. Focusing on Gonzales-Wolfe as the first openly transgender woman to run for such office, the film shows how the campaign gave Gonzales-Wolfe a deeper sense of self. I was lucky enough to chat with her and the film’s director, Ray Whitehouse, about their friendship, the campaign, making the film and Frankie’s future political plans.
The pair met in 2016 when Whitehouse was working on a project about political campaign volunteers. At the time, Gonzales-Wolfe was working as a volunteer on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. She has worked on dozens of campaigns over the years—her first was Bill Clinton’s re-election campaign in 1996 while still in high school.
“The film [“A Run for More”] really came from the relationship we built in 2016,” Whitehouse explained. “I came to Frankie with this idea about exploring ideas around who was qualified to run for office, who is not qualified and what are the lived experiences that fit into those categories.”
In 2018, after growing tired of politicians using diversity and inclusion as a running platform but not an actual practice, Gonzales-Wolfe decided that she was going to run for city council. Of course, Whitehouse suggested filming the whole experience and turning it into a feature-length documentary. For Gonzales-Wolfe, allowing the process to be filmed would allow it to stand as a living document and testament to what it’s like to run for political office when you’re trans, especially in a place that is traditionally conservative, like Texas.
“The kind of conversation I wanted to generate was this kind of conversation around the two worlds that Frankie had to navigate: one world was sort of like ‘hey I’m just Frankie and I’m running for office,’ she didn’t necessarily get taken very seriously. But then when she tried to foreground her identity as a trans woman trying to do this groundbreaking thing, then you get into the flipside. By highlighting her visibility, the unfortunate reality is that’s what leads to attacks,” Whitehouse said.
The National League of Cities describes city council members as “legislators of a municipality who are democratically elected to decide which services will be provided and how to pay for them, among many other tasks.” Because of the nature of the work, the position is elected, but is nonpartisan, meaning you don’t have to be affiliated with a particular political party to run. Council members serve their most local constituents on local matters, which means they’re serving a diverse group of people with equally diverse needs and interests.
A native Texan, you can see that Gonzales-Wolfe really cares for the people where she’s from and believes that she can have a hand in creating a better place for her neighbors and herself. Much of her platform revolves around local changes she can make, like protecting small businesses and giving them space in the local airport. She’s also a caring and loving wife and daughter—you see a lot of her time at home with her husband Jeff. “A Run for More” gives you a look at how a regular person can make a difference. But also, it reveals that politics can teach you a lot, especially about yourself.
“For me, it wasn’t so much of a balance as it was telling Ray, ‘if we’re going to do a documentary and you’re going to be shooting about me, about my life, what it is to be a trans woman—a trans person in Texas, you have to be all in,’ which means you’re going to see me at my worst, my best, stressed, not wearing makeup. I wanted to be able to capture the true sentiment of ‘I’m not different than anyone else’ when it comes to family,’” Gonzales-Wolfe told me.
“A Run for More” is not without its heavy moments. During one scene near the middle of the film, Gonzales-Wolfe tells the story of her sexual assault in striking detail. It’s not in the film for shock value—it shows her resilience, and how it takes time to get to a point where it doesn’t define her.
“That situation didn’t define who I am as a woman, even though those men wanted to make it a point to let me know it would define me as a woman,” she shared.
In another scene, she and her volunteers are tasked with door-to-door canvassing. While a typical part of campaigning, it’s not without its own challenges. But this particular moment will highlight something many of us don’t think about. The campaign consultant she’s working with (who is a successful advisor and friend) has them working from a list of exclusively Republican and conservative constituents. It’s a nonpartisan race—Gonzales-Wolfe and her team are well aware that they have to appeal to voters on both sides of the political table.
We see her walking up to doors and knocking…most doors don’t even open. A few do and take a flier. But then there’s one house where the resident is clearly one of the angry Republican types we have seen on television. He berates Gonzales-Wolfe for only listening to CNN and other “left wing” news and not watching Fox News or listening to the other side. She calmly assures him that she is listening and will fight for everyone. When the door closes, she is clearly rattled by the interaction and makes the decision that the team will switch to phone banking the rest of the list.
Later that same day, a visibly upset Gonzales-Wolfe tells her team about a phone call she has just ended. During the call, the voter she was speaking with calls her a “f***ing tranny,” which understandably upsets and enrages her. Talking to her campaign consultant later (who is upset that the team deviated from the plan of in-person canvassing) she relays the conversations again, still very upset by the interactions.
Sending a trans person into interactions like that can have multiple outcomes. It could be the ones that Gonzales-Wolfe encountered, where people just said things that were unkind or spoke in a tone that was rattling. But things could have escalated to violence, especially during the in-person interaction. By canvassing in person, she was opening herself up to physical violence. You never know what’s in a person’s mind. There are multiple scenes in the film where we see Gonzales-Wolfe and her team repairing campaign signage around town that was torn down because she is trans.
The most positive moments in the film come from her interactions with other trans people. She touches on it in the film, but it’s clear that connecting with her transness has been challenging to her in her transition. Running for office forced her to interact with local transgender activists in her community to truly understand what trans people in Texas are fighting for. As a result, it deepened her understanding and connection to the local community and to herself.
“I’m embarrassed right now,” Gonzales-Wolfe tells her husband at home after a trans lobby day. “For the past 20 plus years, I’ve stayed away from…I’ve never been an activist. I’ve been in politics, but I’ve never been an activist within the LGBTQIA community—especially on trans issues. I can’t lie about it.”
Ultimately, Gonzales-Wolfe lost the election, coming in third. Of course the loss was disappointing, but not discouraging. Currently, she is working as the chief of staff for the county commissioner, but she’s absolutely not ruling out another run for office in the future.
“Now is not the time, I believe I will be given a sign when the time comes,” Gonzales-Wolfe said. “But yeah, I do see myself running again, but I don’t see myself running in a nonpartisan race. It’s not local government that has written laws against me or shun who I am as an individual. It has been people at the state level and I feel that is where I’ll best be able to use my skill set as a voice for the voiceless.”
When we debate guns and gun violence in this country, we tend to get bogged down in statistics and often argue over semantics.
There is zero question that the U.S. is a complete outlier among developed nations when it comes to gun deaths, and even more of an outlier when it comes to mass shootings. No other high-income nation puts their children through active shooter drills at school. None of our peer countries have firearms as the leading cause of death for children and teens like we do. (In fact, it’s not even in the top five causes of death in any other high-income nation.)
And yet, no matter how many times we experience gunmen massacring schoolchildren, no matter how many shocking or sobering stats we see, a not-insignificant portion of our country either denies that there’s a problem or denies that there’s anything we can do about it.
Because our debates over this issue can get unnecessarily complicated, it’s good to be reminded of the simple truth that guns cause unnecessary loss, grief and pain. And nowhere has that been made more clear than in Corey Hixon’s brief testimony at the trial for Nikolas Cruz, the murderer who shot and killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, on Feb. 14, 2018.
One of those killed was Corey Hixon’s father, Chris Hixon. He was the athletic director at the school and was shot and killed while trying to disarm the gunman. According to Florida ABC affiliate Local 10, Hixon was one of the last to speak before the court. Rather than have him read a victim impact statement, the judge asked Hixon, who lives with Kabuki syndrome, what he wanted to share about his father.
In just two sentences—each of which was followed up by an emotional hug with his mom—Hixon distilled the emotional reality of our nation’s gun problem and brought home what gets lost when we keep doing nothing.
Watch:
u201cOh my! Cory Hixon, son of #ParklandSchool victim Christopher HIxon gives victim impact statement. He’s darling! #heartbreakingu201d
The whole room felt that “I miss him!” But the simple description of walking to get donuts together and walking back home every Saturday is just gut-wrenching. It’s those little things, the everyday connections and joys and time spent together, that gun violence rips away.
This isn’t the first time Corey Hixon has touched people’s hearts. A video of him giving Joe Biden a hug at his father’s funeral when Biden was vice president went viral during the 2020 election season.
u201cI’d never seen this clip, or heard this story, before this evening. nnJoe Biden hugging Corey Hixon at the funeral of his father, Chris Hixon. nnChris was a teacher who died in a school shooting, attempting to disarm the gunman.nnhttps://t.co/TIwEcO2hLOu201d
People try to say that gun control won’t stop mass shootings, but can’t we at least try? Nikolas Cruz legally purchased the AR-15-style rifle he used to terrorize and slaughter students and faculty at that high school. He was a legal gun owner, right up until he wasn’t. Though he had no criminal record, red flag laws—which Florida enacted in the wake of the Parkland shooting—could have prevented him from being able to legally purchase or own a firearm.
We have plenty of statistical evidence that gun laws do work. But unfortunately, statistics aren’t likely to change people’s minds. At this point, if appealing to emotion by sharing the grief families have to live with is more effective to persuade, fine. The emotions are real and the stats are sound, so if that’s what it takes to get people to accept reality and do something about it, so be it.
No child should have to go through what Corey Hixon has. And no American should look away from his pain when he truly could be any of us.
Recently, blogger Jen Hatmaker had a funny conversation with a friend about parenting:
“My girlfriend told me the greatest story. Apparently her 11-year-old also wanted to be a grown up this week and, in fact, not only did he treat his siblings like despised underlings, but when asked what he wanted, he said: ‘I want the authority to be in charge of them and tell them what to do, because they deserve it!’
Well. My girlfriend and her husband are NOT AT ALL MESSING AROUND with parenting. Calmly, evenly, they granted his request to be a grown-up for a week by pulling him out of camp (the underlings still got to go, because they are ‘such children’) and sending him to work ALL DAY EVERY DAY with his dad. He has to get up early and shower and make breakfast for everyone. He has to kiss the underlings before he goes to work and tell them to have a great day and that he loves them. He has to work on a typing project during his office hours. He only gets to eat what his dad eats, because eating like a grown-up is not nearly as fun as eating like a kid.
Want to be an adult? Fine.”
Photo via iStock.
Hatmaker’s post went viral, with thousands of parents chiming in with their own stories of tough love, both giving and receiving.
The responses were hilarious, poignant, and a sign that the next generation is being parented by extremely capable, if not a little bit diabolical, hands.
Here are five of my favorite stories from the comments about parenting-gone-absolutely-right:
1. Jill Duff’s mom used an embarrassing outfit to teach her sister an important lesson:
“My sister was snotty to my Mom. She called her and pretty much demanded, ‘Bring my band uniform to the high school!’ She’s the one who forgot her uniform in the first place. Then she told my Mom ‘Do not come in the school, that would be so EMBARRASSING. Just wait for me by my car.’
So my Mom did just that. She stood by my sister’s car, in the Texas heat, WEARING my sister’s band uniform. All the kids walking out for the day saw it.
Parenting GOLD.“
And Mom was like…
2. Jessica Klick got her sons new shoes … but not the ones they wanted.
“Our 11 and 12 year olds at the time were complaining and whining and being ungrateful, saying how ‘hard their life was.’ For boys, the big thing is wearing those cool Steph Curry shoes and our boys LOVE their Currys!
So after hearing the last complaint my husband went to Walmart to buy white maypop leather shoes (the kind you see in geriatric centers) and high white socks. He brought those bad boys home, set them on the boys’ dresser, and made them wear those things everywhere we went. Those devastated boys told us we were ‘ruining their lives.’
I may or may not have laughed like a little girl when I dropped them off at school and watched them do the walk of shame.“
3. Marisa Rodriguez Byers says she wished her mother was dead. And boy, did she regret it.
“I was a wretched, hormonal teenager. At the age of 13 I told my mom, ‘I wish you were dead!’ And at that moment, she ‘died,’ but to me only. (I had younger sisters).
She completely ignored me, didn’t speak at me, didn’t look at me, wouldn’t cook for me, set my place at the table, wash my clothes, take me to school, NOTHING. After 8 days, I broke down in the middle of the night, went to her room, clutched her tightly while sobbing how sorry I was and how much I loved her and that I would NEVER say those words again. I’m 41 years old now, I have NEVER uttered those words or anything remotely like them after that incident.“
After tough love, you gotta hug it out.
4. Jessica Hill gave her daughter a good scare — and, in turn, a new appreciation.
“I was grocery shopping with my three year old when she decided to start screaming for ice cream. There was no reasoning with her in this hulk-type rage. I swear she had super human strength as I struggled to get her out of the cart full of groceries.
I was completely unaware of the two police officers who were witnessing this wrestling match. She was still hitting, kicking, and screaming when I was stopped by the police officers in the parking lot. They thought I had abducted her. This happened long before we had smart phones full of our children’s photos. They tried questioning her but she was still too busy throwing a fit, so I handed her over. I told them she could ride with them because I really needed a break and they could follow me home to see her birth certificate, baby book, etc. They started chuckling as one officer said, ‘Spoken like a true mom!’ I think they were more relieved than I was when she finally cried out, ‘Mommy?’
The officer handed her back to me while the other went back inside the store to ensure there wasn’t a distraught mother looking for her missing toddler. That evening my daughter told her dad she almost went to jail because she threw a fit, and I let her believe it. She didn’t throw a fit in public again.”
“Uhh, ma’am?”
“I didn’t mean to scare her, so after this experience, I wanted to ensure my daughter had a healthy respect and appreciation for first responders. Today, I’m happy to say she is highly aware and appreciative of the police, firemen, paramedics, and military personnel who serve to protect her.”
5. Erica Goodnight taught her son an incredible lesson that he carries to this day.
“My kid was whining over not having anything to play with. So, without a word, I went to the garage and got a black 50 gallon trash bag and started putting in all the toys that he obviously didn’t even realize were in our home to play with.
I loaded them AND him into the car and we drove to our local homeless shelter and gave every. single. toy. in the bag away. To a child who TRULY had nothing. And you know what? He didn’t even cry. His eyes were opened to the ones who have nothing. He actually enlarged his heart that day. And, we still do it. We still take toys to kids with nothing at least once a year.”
Parent win. Life lesson score.
There’s a fine line between teaching your kids a tough lesson in a funny way and engaging in “humiliation parenting.”
Making children wear a sign that says, “I sneak boys in at 3 a.m. and disrespect my parents and grandparents” or otherwise berating them publicly is a good way to erode trust between the two of you and seriously damage your relationship.
But calling their bluff on a ridiculous demand? Or having a little fun with how you choose to correct their bad attitude? That’s just plain survival.
And that’s what parenting is really all about.
You can read the whole hilarious exchange over on Facebook.
In the meantime, what’s your favorite tough-love story?
In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.
Image via iStock.
My husband and I were in shock but thrilled at the news after dealing with infertility for years. And it didn’t take long for the comments to begin. When people found out, the usual remarks followed: “Triplets?! What are you going to do? Three kids at once?! Glad it’s not me!”
After mastering my response (and an evil look reserved for the rudest comments), I figured that was the worst of it. But little did I know I would be facing far worse comments after two of my triplets passed away.
On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.
My daughter, Abigail, passed away that same day; my son, Parker, died just shy of 2 months old. Before then, I didn’t know much about child loss; it was uncharted territory. Like most people, I wouldn’t know how to respond or what to say if a friend’s child passed away.
Image via iStock.
But two years later, I have found that some things are better left unsaid. These comments come from a good place, and I know people mean well, but they sure do sting.
Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.
1. “Everything happens for a reason.”
It’s a cringeworthy comment for those of us who have lost a child. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen in life. A parent should not outlive their child. I don’t know why my body couldn’t handle my pregnancy or why I went into labor at 22 weeks.
This phrase goes along with another I often hear: “God only gives us what we can handle.” I remember talking with my childhood rabbi the night before my son passed away, and I asked her, “Why me?” Her response is something I now live by every single day. She said, “God doesn’t give us only what we can handle. He helps us handle what we’ve been given.”
2. “They are in a better place.”
Instead of comforting, this is a phrase that makes me feel down in the dumps. I longed to be a parent for so many years. And children are meant to be in the loving arms of their parents.
I think I speak for every grieving mother and father when I say, we would give anything to hold our babies again.
3. “At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings.”
I like to think of myself as a positive person. But even two years later, my heart still aches for Parker and Abby. And on the most difficult, dark days of grief, it’s hard to “count my blessings.”
Yes, I am blessed. I have a gorgeous miracle child who is the light of my life. But Peyton should be playing with her brother and sister in our home, not just waving to their pictures and blowing kisses to heaven.
4. “You are still young. You can have more children.”
It doesn’t matter whether or not our biological clock is ticking. Many people have no idea what couples go through to have a child: Some can’t have children of their own; others may face years of infertility or miscarriages. And for people like me, trying for more children may be something too scary to even think about. I came close to death after delivering my children — that’s enough to scar me for life.
5. “I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t imagine losing two children.”
Some days I don’t know how I do it either. But we learn how to live with it. We learn a “new normal,” and in those tough moments, we celebrate that we survived the day. This comment is a difficult reminder of our grief and the children who were sent to heaven.
So, what should you say to a grieving parent?
There are no words to take the pain away, of course, but simply letting that person know you are there for them is more than enough.
For me, the best thing someone can do is to talk about my angels. Say Parker and Abby by name, and don’t be afraid to ask questions about them.
While they were only here for a short time, they left a huge imprint on this world. I love talking about my angels, and simply hearing someone else mention them by name is enough to wipe away the grief and warm my heart for days.
The Hollywood Reporter shared that a live-action Pac-Man movie is in the works. Based on a video game that debuted in 1980, the movie will apparently revolve around an endlessly hungry yellow sphere that will somehow be filmed with real live humans. As the report notes, a pair of TV shows have been made about Pac-Man over the years, and the gaming franchise is legendary. But those were cartoons, which certainly fit the concept of the game itself a bit better considering its main character is a vaguely anthropomorphic sphere.
Retro games have had an interesting history at the cinema, and it’s hard to get more retro than Pac-Man. Which is sort of why a live-action adaptation of pixelated ghosts chasing after pixelated circles seems so odd. The Hollywood Reporter story did include an intriguing note about the project: it will be an “original” idea from someone who has previously worked on the Sonic films.
The project will be based on an original idea from Chuck Williams (Sonic the Hedgehog) of Lightbeam Entertainment. Baldoni, Manu Gargi and Andrew Calof will produce on behalf of Wayfarer Studios; Williams and Tim Kwok will produce on behalf of Lightbeam.
Whether that means a truly Pac-Man-based origin story for the film or something more like Pixels or Free Guy — i.e. movies set in video game-line universes but not necessarily adherent to any particular game-specific plot points — seems up in the air right now. As is who will play any Pac people or the vibrantly colored ghosts.
There was a three-year gap between seasons 3 and 4 of Stranger Things, a delay caused by the pandemic. You might have heard about it. That break allowed the Duffer Brothers and the rest of the writers for the record-breaking Netflix series to fine-tune the scripts, and it gave the VFX team more time to conceive the Upside-Down.
They needed it. One scene, in particular, took nearly two years to perfect.
“There’s a fun fact, we started before the pandemic on this show, we started to work on it more than two years ago. We actually started to develop a few looks, started to work on the assets before the pandemic. And when it stopped, we kept working on one or two shots,” VFX supervisor Julien Hery told Collider. One of the scenes was the red-and-black Upside-Down flyover through Hawkins, Indiana, where Stranger Things is set.
He continued, “To follow the bats over Hawkins, and then you land onto the Creel House. And this shot took us almost a year and half or two years of making it happen, changing the animation, and there was plenty of time, so we took like such a long time to develop that shot. So it was pretty cool.”
Ogi actually had no plan to be a full-time singer. That’s the most shocking part about the Chicago-born Nigerian-American singer. Prior to everything that’s occurred for her over the last four years, Ogi had plans to pursue a career in law as a student at Northwestern. However, all it took was one cover she shared on Instagram to change everything for her. “It was just something that I did for fun on the side,” she tells Uproxx over a Zoom call. “It all really came to a head senior year, like this doesn’t make any sense. To this day I’m still confused.”
Amid the slight confusion and reality shock that Ogi is still sorting through, the young singer has been putting out great music. She received co-signs form PJ Morton and No I.D. while also signing a deal to the latter’s Atrium Recordings imprint, a place that Snoh Aalegra and Jhene Aiko also call home. This past spring, Ogi released her debut EP Monologues and it struck as a beautifully constructed project carried by her rich vocals and textured production.
Monologues earned her plenty of attention from the music industry. She performed at Pharrell’s Something In The Water Festival as well as at the 2022 BET Awards. Ogi has toured with The Marias and Snoh Aalegra, and now, she’s getting ready to hit the road again, this time with British singer Mahalia.
Before things pick up again for Ogi, she took a moment to speak with Uproxx about Monologues, her rise towards success, her Nigerian background, and what she wants to do next.
I’m really drawn to your music because of how rich, textured, and just full it is. As a Nigerian born and raised in the Midwest, what influences did you have growing up that helped you make the kind of music you make today?
I think it came from a lot of things, but primarily, it started from my parents — I mean, that’s how it starts with everybody. They had the aux cord, so to speak, for my childhood. My mom played a lot of Nigerian hymns growing up [and] a lot of gospel. She introduced me to people like BeBe & CeCe Winans, John P. Kee, J. Moss, Smokie Norful, people like that. My dad played a lot of reggae, a lot of Highlife right? So it was people like Cardinal Rex Lawson. My dad is Igbo, so he played that Highlife from that tribe and a lot of reggae, a lot of Fela Kuti. I think all of that kind of culminated into what I listened to. Once I got old enough, I started listening to hip-hop and rap. My sister introduced me to like 106 & Park, so all the R&B of that time. I think that plays a role in my cadences, a little bit, and the way that I write lyrics. But yeah, my parents influenced the way that I create the sound, but lyrically, I think 106 & Park [and] things a little bit more recent influenced how I speak.
Pursuing a career in music or art altogether isn’t the first thing our parents want to hear. What were those early discussions like, and how did the level of support change or grow as time went on?
So, I had the conversation with my mom first and she was obviously like, not about it at all. She’s like, “This is nonsense, you’re wasting your time.” I was in my senior year, I was right there, it felt like a distraction there. It wasn’t until one of the people who were interested in me flew us out to LA. He took me and my mother to LA and really showed off what being in this industry can do [and] the money. I think that was the moment she was like, “Okay, there’s security here, she could maybe do well.” Then, she realized it was a business. My mom is a very shrewd businesswoman, she’s very on it. Once she realized that perspective, I think she was a little bit more about it.
My dad, I think he’s just realizing what’s going on. When I told him that the music stuff was happening, he wasn’t as upset, but I think he didn’t take it as seriously. He was like, “Okay, this is your passion project, you’ve been in school. Go ahead, just do it, and like a year later, you’re gonna go to law school as we planned.” I think he’s now realizing that that’s not what’s happening. So he’s been kind of looking back on my life to wonder how did we get to this point. He’ll say, “I got a piano for the house, and you would play it, but I didn’t think it would become this,” that kind of thing. Now he’s kind of onboard. He realizes that I’m good at what I do and he wants me to do a jazz song, things like that. So I think the parents are onboard.
Now that we’re a bit removed from its release, what would you say you’re most proud about Monologues?
I’m proud of the response in the sense of like, I’ve seen people do covers of the songs on the EP. Which is like… That gets me because [that means] you found something that you felt enough like you that you wanted to take it and then use those words as your own sort of expression, like something resonated in that. The first time I saw someone do a cover of my song, it made me cry, that’s huge. I mean, that’s how I came up, that’s the only reason why I’m here. I did PJ Morton’s “Alright,” which is a song that I would sing to myself when I was studying LSAT books. I was comforting myself and singing that song, so to see somebody else do that, felt like a real full circle moment.
Aside from the success Monolouges has brought you, what would you say the EP has personally helped you with?
I think it’s been a positive affirmation of vulnerability is power. Being afraid of something that would alienate you, like in music, is actually the thing that brings people towards you. The song “Bitter” is about me being like, “Dammit, nobody wants me. What’s going on?” Having that moment, which in other contexts would be like, “Ew, you want people to know that about you?” people use those words as something that they understand and feel. It’s encouraged me to be even more vulnerable in the way that I express myself, and just to dig deeper. I think the things that resonate the most are the things that people don’t think other people are going through. To show that I’m going through it too, I think that’s what brings people together.
You’ve toured with The Marinas and Snoh Aalegra, and now you’re hitting the road with Mahalia. What excites you the most about these next string of performances?
I’m really interested in just meeting because her EP is so dope. I mean, to talk about vulnerability, like the story of her EP is about her trying to save another girl from the mistake that she made in being within with a guy that is also pursuing her. That’s a big thing to do, you know? I’m curious to see what that story is gonna look like onstage. I listened to it, and I’m a fan. I’m also excited about my growth as a performer. I strive to be better and better each time and I look at this as another opportunity to grow in my craft. I want to be more energetic and more expressive. I have the opportunity to perform my whole EP now, so I want to create a story with that, like what can I do next? So I think that’s what I’m excited about.
Looking back, what about your heritage and/or childhood do you think contributed the most to your success now?
My name honestly. I’m from Wisconsin, so there weren’t a lot of people that had a name like mine. There used to be times when I was kind of ashamed of it. I would tell people that it translates to Michelle… like no it doesn’t, it never did. I would just lean into it, but like, I’ve been Ogi since I was three years old. Now, it’s contributed to what my name is as an artist and it points to my heritage, who I am, and the things that made me who I am. I’m very proud of my name, I like it when people ask me, “Is that your real name?” and I get to say yes, that is my name. The thing that I felt alienated me, fills me with pride now.
When would you say that you started to embrace everything about your culture?
It was always a kind of love/hate relationship because I always loved it when my mom would come and wear her dresses, and everyone would be like, “Oh wow!” you know what I mean? I think it was in high school and college when I finally kind of claimed it for myself. That’s when I started seeing people like me. College was the first time that I refused to start straightening my hair all the time. Stylistically you can do whatever you want, but for me, it was tied to “my hair isn’t beautiful unless it’s straight.” I just started accepting my blackness and looking at myself and being like, “I’m African and I love it.” That’s also gonna make its way into my music eventually. I mean, it’s still there in terms of Highlife influences, but I think I want to lean into that part of my identity in the future.
Looking ahead, what’s something else you’d like to accomplish within the next 12 months?
I’d like to release some more music for sure. I just want to travel, I want to go to different places through tours and shows, just to see where I am. One thing that I regret from college is never studying abroad, and I feel like this is my moment to go wherever I want — or I guess wherever people want me. So I guess that means I just gotta work hard. I’m trying to go to Tokyo and Seoul and I want to go to Lagos for sure, I gotta go. Rio de Janeiro would be so dope. I want to go to South America, Africa, and Asia. I’ve been to places in Europe because I have aunts and uncles that live out there, but yeah.
Monologues is out now via Artium Entertainment LLC/Atlantic. You can stream it here.
Ogi is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
As Hollywood continues to churn out bloated superhero movies (and cancel others without warning) it seems like audiences are a little burnt out when it comes to their favorite powerful beings. That, and the fact that several VFX artists have been speaking out about being overworked, seems to signify a shift in how we look at the superhero industry. So now would be the best time to create a satirical workplace comedy about the people who are actually making these franchises, right?
HBO has ordered a new series from the mind of Armando Ianucci, the creator of Veepand the less-loved but still fun Avenue 5. Director Sam Mendes, known for 1917, Skyfall, and once being married to Kate Winslet, will direct and executive produce the series. The Franchise will follow a crew who makes superhero movies and the subsequent obstacles they are forced to face when millions of dedicated fans are breathing down their necks to over-analyze every shot. The plot description, according to Variety:
The half-hour project takes a wry look at superhero movie-making. It follows a hopeful crew trapped inside the dysfunctional, nonsensical, joyous hellscape of franchise superhero movie-making. If and when they finally make the day, the question they must face — is this Hollywood’s new dawn or cinema’s last stand? Is this a dream factory or a chemical plant?
Iannucci is also a noted superhero fan, making his comic debut earlier this year with an issue of Spider-Man, so he likely knows the ins and outs of the superhero game. Mendes on the other hand was originally asked to direct The Avengers but never got around to it (he’s a busy guy). Now is his chance to get into the industry!
To this point, we hadn’t heard much about the specifics of Durant’s frustration with the Nets — although it was assumed to be partially related to the lack of an extension agreement being reached with his friend and co-star Kyrie Irving — as Durant has been unusually tight-lipped about his situation on social media and his own podcast. However, on Monday, word broke from Shams Charania that Durant and Nets owner Joe Tsai met again in London, with the future Hall of Famer once again making clear that he wanted a trade away from Brooklyn, but with a very interesting subplot.
Apparently, Durant told Tsai to choose between him or the team’s GM-coach combo of Sean Marks and Steve Nash.
In a face-to-face meeting with Brooklyn Nets owner Joe Tsai over the weekend, All-NBA star Kevin Durant reiterated his trade request and informed Tsai that he needs to choose between Durant or the pairing of general manager Sean Marks and coach Steve Nash, sources tell The Athletic.
Durant stated he does not have faith in the team’s direction, sources said.
It’s a rather incredible move by KD, made all the more interesting considering Nash was hired in part because of his relationship with Durant from their days in Golden State when Nash was a player development coach — and because Durant and Irving wanted Kenny Atkinson fired for a more star-friendly coach. One would think that if it was just about Nash, that move would’ve been made immediately and this whole thing would be handled, but Tsai has given Marks the keys to the franchise and allowed him to wield an incredible amount of power over the basketball side of things.
Charania also notes that Tsai and the Nets have been fully detailed of Durant’s reasoning for the request, with Shams simply noting the star wants “a change of scenery,” so it seems that this might go a bit beyond the leadership of the basketball operations department. There will be plenty of people who think it’s not a hard decision to pick KD over a first-time coach who has not exactly excelled in the role and the GM, but Marks is highly respected around the league and the Nets would be hard-pressed to get a top executive to join their team if it’s clear that the star of the team has hiring and firing power over executives.
This adds just another fascinating layer to the Nets saga, and if anything it only puts more pressure on Marks to get this right because now if the trade goes through the story becomes Brooklyn choosing him over KD. If that’s the case, it’s incumbent on him to succeed in the post-KD/Kyrie/Harden rebuild and reward that decision with at least a conference finals run, which would top the furthest this group has gone with their stars.
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Photo via iStock.
Image via iStock.
