Next summer, HBO Max and Discovery+ will be smushed together to form a single streaming service. They don’t have a name for it yet, but today’s Warner Bros. Discovery presentation said HBO Max had a “male skew” and Discovery+ had a “female” one, so the nameless 2023-set marriage is safe from the Supreme Court for now.
Leaving aside the WTF nature of that labeling and whatever “genredoms” are, this is a pretty big gamble that Warner Bros. Discovery is treating like the natural evolution of corporate number-crunching. They didn’t reveal what the price point would be for the service (which I’m calling DiscHBOvery+ for the time being), and WBD is aiming to boost the services’ combined subscriber numbers from around 92 million to 130 million by 2025.
At the same time, CEO David Zaslav was explicit in the company’s focus on theatrical releases for their films, which was part of the reasoning to shelveBatgirl; they didn’t feel it would do well in theaters and didn’t want to put something that’s supposed to be “big” directly onto a streamer. The new HBO Max Discovery + hybrid will maintain the ad-lite and ad-free subscription models, but it’s unclear what strategy the company is employing to bring so many new subscribers to the behemoth combined service or what kinds of exclusive deals and originals will survive the culling process.
To put it plainly, they have an ambitious goal, but there’s nothing unique about these services beyond the specific titles they have (which is the same thing every streaming service boasts).
Luckily, Warner Bros. Discovery executives have us covered with a clear explanation:
An iconic New Orleans event will not return next year. BUKU announced that the festival is not set to take place in 2023, despite receiving much anticipation. Though organizers didn’t cite any specific reasons for the cancellation, like the ongoing COVID-19 and Monkeypox pandemics, a statement indicated that in order to continue, a hiatus was necessary.
“From day one, BUKU was created to be something different… a gritty yet colorful event celebrating the progressive subculture of New Orleans,” said BUKU organizers in a statement. “It became a homecoming for the most amazing bunch of beautiful weirdos ever assembled and in 10 years we accomplished exactly what we set out to do: we created a community… a community that truly matters. But times are changing… and the current model of BUKU needs to take a break. For a myriad of reasons, we’ve decided that the festival will not take place in March 2023. We don’t know exactly what the future will look like – and that’s okay as there is freedom in the unknown– but we know that we will gather again someday, in some form, bursting with creativity and purpose.”
Organizers also confirmed that “This isn’t ‘goodbye’ – this is ‘see y’all down the road,’” for the festival, and encouraged festival-goers to keep visiting New Orleans and creating art.
After saving a few million dollars by not letting anyone see the Leslie Grace-led Batgirl, Warner Bros. Discovery has decided that Marvel might have been onto something with their whole superhero thing. Merger mastermind and CEO of the blended behemoth companies David Zaslav announced on an earnings call that the media corporation is pressing the reset button on their biggest superhero properties, cribbing straight from Marvel’s notes with a 10-year vision to build a cinematic universe worthy of Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, and more.
“It’s very similar to the structure that Alan Horn and Bob Iger put together very effectively with Kevin Feige at Disney,” Zaslav said. “We think that we could build a long-term, much stronger, sustainable growth business out of DC and as part of that, we’re gonna focus on quality.”
Thank goodness they’re going to focus on quality.
Cutting through the business jargon, you’ve got to give Zaslav at least a little credit for being upfront about copying Marvel’s wildly successful model of introducing characters, weaving them into each other’s movies, and then teaming them up for a major event. Granted, that’s also not specifically what he said, but it’s what we can hope he means. Plus, Warner Bros. and DC have been down this path before, convinced that Zack Snyder was shepherding a cohesive expanded universe that never felt connected.
The looming question is how big of a reset this really is. With Wonder Woman and Aquaman‘s popularity, can you really fully clear the slate? Will they recast the major heroes and genuinely start fresh? Or will it be a Frankenstein’s monster vibe where Gal Gadot and Jason Momoa buddy up with a brand new Batman and Supes? And how can we make sense of a cohesive DC universe when Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga are making Joker movies while Robert Pattinson’s Batman is somehow outside the greater DC continuity?
A pure reset is a pipe dream. The challenge, then, will be how to replicate Marvel’s technical schematics while already up in the air.
On the album closer, “Summer Renaissance,” the Houston artist proclaims “This Telfar bag imported, Birkins, them shit’s in storage” after listing off other brands such as Versace, Bottega, and Dior. Though Birkins have been popular within the culture for quite some time, Telfar has gained its own following over the last two years. With such a big figure in music placing one above the other, naturally, each side had strong feelings. Brand loyalty isn’t new, and throwing Beyoncé in the mix puts the contention into overdrive.
Beyoncé saying her Birkins are in storage really just cracks me up bc the girls be thinking they’re killing it with the birkin flex
Like. I may or may not own a Birkin in this lifetime but this whole conversation about the bag being out of style because of Beyoncé is wild to me…how can it be out when it’s so hard to attain in the first place?!
Funny enough, Beyoncé’s line and the subsequent hysteria did cause an impact beyond the timeline, as there was a spike in how much Telfar was searched according to reports from Vogue Business. Everyone may not be happy, but the independent Black-owned business definitely is.
Check out reactions to the controversial line above.
Renaissance is out now via Parkwood Entertainment. Listen to it here.
For many, gender expression really is a journey, not a destination. It’s an ever-evolving experience and therefore an ongoing conversation. However, having these kinds of conversations might not always feel easy.
Recently, singer Demi Lovato, who in 2021 came out as nonbinary and incorporated “they/them” pronouns exclusively, announced on an episode of the “Spout” podcast that they’d readopted the use of “she/her” pronouns in addition to “they/them.”
The way in which she explained her decision might help normalize the concept of gender fluidity and make conversations around the subject a bit more accessible. At the very least, it might help those who do want to use pronouns interchangeably feel more comfortable about doing so.
“I’m such a fluid person when it comes to my gender, my sexuality, my music, my creativity,” Lovato began. She explained that last year, during the time she changed her pronouns to “they,” her energy felt balanced between “masculine and feminine.”
She added, “When I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said, ‘women’ and ‘men,’ I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man [either].”
“I just felt like a human. And that’s what they/them is about. For me, it’s just about feeling human at your core.”
Many nonbinary people opt for gender-neutral pronouns for this reason—because they don’t feel they fit into either gender. Or perhaps they do not wish to conform to societal expectations of either gender. Or they identify differently depending on their environment or different stages of life (also seemingly a factor in Lovato’s case). Really, there are as many reasons behind pronouns choices as there are people in the world to make them.
Lovato continued by sharing that since she incorporated “she/her” on the basis of feeling more “feminine” again. She even tweaked her social media to reflect the change—on Instagram all four pronouns are now listed under her name.
Lovato added the caveat that she didn’t expect everyone to address her correctly right away.
“Nobody’s perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, especially when people are learning,” she told “Spout,” acknowledging that these sorts of changes can be initially confusing for some. What really matters, Lovato asserted, is the attempt to show “respect.”
This sentiment is echoed by experts and advocates for the LGBTQ+ community. In an interview with NPR, Deputy Executive Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen said, “I think it’s perfectly natural to not know the right words to use at first. We’re only human. It takes any of us some time to get to know a new concept. The important thing is to just be interested in continuing to learn. So if you mess up some language, you just say, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ correct yourself and move forward. No need to make it any more complicated than that. Doing that really simple gesture of apologizing quickly and moving on shows the other person that you care. And that makes a really big difference.”
In the same interview, GLAAD communications officer Mary Emily defined this type of respect quite astutely: “It’s really just about letting someone know that you accept their identity. And it’s as simple as that.”
It’s both an individual and collective journey—navigating the evolving terrain of language and ideologies around gender. Hopefully by hearing more of these stories (be it from celebrities or folks in our everyday life) we can better understand these shifting nuances and better connect with each other in the process.
Of course, you’ll also want to stop for a few days in London. And sure, the tourist-centric city sites like Big Ben and Buckingham Palace might be worth your time. But what better way to experience such an iconic city than by taking top recommendations from London locals themselves?
To get the inside scoop on what’s really worth doing on a trip to London, we spoke to up-and-coming electro-funk duo Franc Moody — who both happen to be from London Town. Below, band members Jon Moody and Ned Franc share their top picks for where to play, eat, and party in London. Read their full guide and while you’re at it check out their latest singles “Mass Appeal” and “Raining in LA.”
Go and grab a pint and check out the house band on a Saturday night at The Palm in Mile End! The pub’s still on its original ’70s decor and the bands has been playing there since time began.
There are so many weird and wonderful things to do in London it’s really tricky to pinpoint one particular activity but here goes…I’ve got a miniature English Bull Terrier and live in South London, and one of my favourite things to do is to walk from Blackheath down through Greenwich Park and Greenwich itself before boarding a boat from Greenwich Pier to London Bridge and walking through Borough Market and grabbing something to eat. If you’re visiting London you need to see the river and this is a great way to do that.
PART II– Where to Eat
Jon Moody:
L’Angolo
So much great food here it’s tricky to pick! Gotta be between a sandwich place or an Indian restaurant for me…There’s a little family-run Italian deli near our old studio in Kensal Rise called L’Angolo, which became the main source of fuel whilst writing and recording in that studio. Earth shatteringly good sandwiches and the loveliest guys who run it.
The only catch is the coma you’ll slip into post eating one of their finest two-feet sandwiches. Worth it!
Ned Franc:
The Camberwell Arms
For consistently great food look no further than The Camberwell Arms, the Scotch Bonnet pork fat on toast kills me. Always awesome but if there’s no room there then grab the best falafels in town at the appropriately named Falafel & Shawarma about 30 yards up the road. Other than those two you HAVE to eat at some of the best greasy spoons in town too…The Regency Cafe in Pimlico, Tony’s Cafe in Bermondsey and many more.
Beans, black pudding, hash browns, a couple of bangers, and 17 fried eggs are possibly the only thing we Brits do right.
Thursday nights, St. Moritz Club, ‘Gaz’s Rockin’ Blues.’ This tiny underground SoHo sweatbox has kept our knees swinging and our feet tapping for years. Live rhythm and blues bands followed by DJs all night long with some of the best selection of R&B, jump shuffle, and aka.
I think it’s the longest-running club night in London!
For a guaranteed good night catch one of Hannah TW’s “LOCAL” nights. The night occurs (about) every two months at various imaginative spaces in South London and always has the best DJ lineups.
Alex Jones’ theatrical nuisance of a trial performance is not ending well for him. And it ain’t over yet, but so far, the jury is not on his side. The first installment of a bifurcated case/verdict landed on Thursday afternoon, and let’s just say that all of Jones’ snake oil supplements — and he has been pushing those “Instahard” virility pills like crazy this week — are going to be sales that he needs to pay this initial verdict for his lies about the Sandy Hook families.
CNN reports that Jones has been ordered by a jury (with 10 out of 12 members in official accordance) to shell out $4 million and a little bit of change to the parents (Scarlett Lewis and Neil Heslim) of two victims of the Sandy Hook mass school shooting. It’s a heck of a semi-ending for a very public defamation case about the horrible harm that’s been done by Jones peddling conspiracy theories, all to make some money on his Infowars sites. Punitive damages are yet to come (the jury comes back on Friday for that consideration), but here’s how the default judgment happened so fast with the jury barely deliberating to come up with the compensatory damages:
Jones baselessly said in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook shooting, in which 26 people were killed, that the incident was staged. Facing multiple lawsuits, Jones later acknowledged the shooting occurred. He testified in court this week that he now believed it to be “100% real.”
But Jones failed to comply with court orders during the discovery process of the lawsuit. His failure to do so led to Heslin and Lewis winning default judgments judgements against Jones.
Get ready for a Jones blowout over this. He’s already been ranting about his lawyer screwing up because he handed over the contents of Jones’ phone to the other side. The lawyer moved for a mistrial, which clearly did not happen, and now, the Jan. 6 House committee has decided subpoena those texts. In other words, it doesn’t pay to be a conspiracy theorist in the long run, kids.
Well, okay then. An indie production has found its Fidel Castro in James Franco, who is set to play the divisive figure in the years before and after he became Prime Minister of Cuba. According to Deadline, Franco will star alongside Mía Maestro, who plays the Cuban socialite and Castro mistress Natalia Revuelta. Directed by Miguel Bardem, and written by Motorcycle Diaries scribe Jose Rivera and Pulitzer Prize winner Nilo Cruz, Alina of Cuba will tell the real-life story of dissident and Castro critic Alina Fernandez (Ana Villafañe), the living result of Castro and Revuelta’s affair.
Since it’s Fernandez’s story, it seems like Franco will have a secondary role in the film, and producer John Martinez O’Felan says they pursued him for the part because of how much he physically resembles the revolutionary leader. That resemblance is undeniable, although it’s unclear how good Franco’s Spanish is or whether he can pull off a Cuban dialect.
Despite the notability of the person he’s playing, this project does not mark a grand return from Hollywood ostracization following allegations of sexual misconduct in 2018. Franco has since settled with former students who claimed he exploited them sexually and spoken briefly in public about his sex addiction. He’s also continued to operate on low profile, low budget films, mostly ones that he’s directed. This continues that pattern.
Interestingly enough, O’Felan has also set up a documentary called Revolution’s Daughter to film alongside Alina of Cuba. Directed by Thaddeus D. Matula, it will blend behind-the-scenes looks at Alina‘s filming with historical and social commentary about the real-life Alina Fernandez’s impact on Cuba.
Chocolate is the quintessential milkshake flavor. Sure vanilla is the most luscious, but it functions best as the base of a milkshake, not the star of the show. Strawberry, while refreshing, is divisive for a reason. But chocolate, with its rich and decadent nature shining through every slurp of the straw? It just satisfies in a way that no other flavor can.
When the perfect chocolate milkshake hits, you don’t think about calories or sugar. You just think: That’s a pretty f*cking good milkshake.
In celebration of the greatest milkshake flavor of all time, we’re ranking all the best chocolate milkshakes in the fast food universe in search of the GOAT. Just like we did with our strawberry milkshake ranking, we’ll be paying special attention to each shake’s thickness, scoring each on a 1-5 scale. Let’s sip!
14. McDonald’s — McCafe Chocolate Shake
McDonald
Thickness: 2/5
Tasting Notes:
McDonald’s milkshakes just… aren’t good. The chain just hasn’t really figured out how to nail a quality milkshake, which is strange because their McFlurry’s, which are the middle ground between a sundae and a milkshake, are so damn delicious.
But their stock McCafe milkshakes? Awful.
It’s the syrup that’s to blame. McDonald’s makes their milkshakes by using their vanilla soft serve base and blending in flavored syrup, but the syrup tends to change the consistency of the milkshake, causing it to become watery and loose. The chocolate in particular just doesn’t taste all that much like chocolate. It’s so faint that it somehow comes across as distracting. You won’t be able to stop wondering “where is the chocolate?”
The Bottom Line:
This milkshake has nothing going for it. It’s not thick enough, and the flavors are bland and taste watered down.
13. Burger King — Chocolate Shake with Oreo Cookies
Burger King
Thickness: 3/5
Tasting Notes:
Maybe it’s cheating to include Burger King’s Chocolate Shake with Oreo Cookies over their plain Chocolate shake but I consistently give BK the bottom spot on nearly all of my fast food rankings and I desperately want the brand to win for some reason, so… welcome to 2nd last place, Burger King!
Burger King’s Chocolate Shake with Oreo Cookies takes a bad thing, BK’s chocolate shake, and makes it marginally better by adding Oreos in, giving it a bit more thickness and a whole lot of texture and flavor. The Oreos are crushed small enough to travel up your straw with ease and provide a great mouthfeel, but the milkshake tends to melt in your mouth before the cookie pieces can dissolve, leaving you with a layer of cookie gravel on your tongue after every sip.
The Bottom Line:
Burger King’s best milkshake! Having said that, maybe skip ordering a milkshake at BK. Or… anything at all.
I generally like Carl’s Jr.’s milkshakes but the chocolate flavor is easily the weakest of the three offered. Carl’s Jr. uses real scoops of ice cream instead of flavoring a soft serve vanilla base with powders or syrups (which a lot of milkshakes do) providing a nice depth of flavor in the vanilla and strawberry flavor,s but whatever chocolate ice cream Carl’s Jr. is using. is just not good.
The chocolate tastes chalky and bland, it lacks the richness you expect from the flavor. It tastes kind of like a Hershey bar, intensely sweet, but more like sugar and milk than chocolate.
The Bottom Line:
Carl’s Jr. makes good milkshakes, so long as your order any flavor other than chocolate
Frosty Heads are going to lose their shit over this [my boss is one, but YOLO!] but the Chocolate Frosty is mid-tier at best. I get it, the Frosty is thick, probably the thickest milkshake in the game, but the flavor is like someone mixed Nesquik into some blended ice and called it a day.
It’s bland, tasting more like sweet ice than chocolate. Its only real strength is that it makes for a delicious fry dip. With an infusion of hot, salty, and buttery potato, this shake tastes amazing. But this isn’t an article about the best milkshakes to dip french fries into — as a stand-alone shake this just doesn’t offer enough flavor to deserve a better spot than this.
The Bottom Line:
A delicious thick fry dip, but as a shake, it doesn’t offer enough flavor to really stand out.
I’ll swear by the Del Taco Strawberry Shake. You could put it up against the top five of this ranking and I think it would put up a good fight and we’re talking about strawberry vs chocolate here — that’s not an easy win for the fruit. But Del Taco’s take on chocolate? It misses the mark. Where the strawberry shake is refreshing and luxurious, this is, like a lot of the chocolate shakes in this section of the ranking, bland and flavorless.
The thickness is there, but the flavor isn’t — the chocolate presents itself as chalky and muddled, with the tiniest echoes of cocoa over its mostly milky flavor.
The Bottom Line:
Order the Strawberry, trust us, even if you don’t generally like strawberry shakes. It’s Del Taco’s best dessert. This isn’t.
You think that a place with the word ‘Shake’ in the name would make some great milkshakes, and maybe at one point Steak n’ Shake did. But have you been there lately?
The quality of the milkshakes has taken a serious dip. This shake lacks consistency, it’s watery, and too sweet, with a cheap chocolate flavor that comes across as almost sour. It’s so bad that when I had this shake recently, I had to take a second trip back to a different Steak n’ Shake the next day, assuming I got a bad shake.
I was wrong, Steak n’ Shake just sucks.
The Bottom Line:
Doesn’t rank high enough to deserve the word “shake” in the name of the chain.
Sonic’s milkshakes are thick as hell and offer more mix-ins than your average fast food chain, which begs the question: why would you ever order just chocolate? Seriously, you’re a banana, a strawberry, and some graham cracker dust away from making this simple shake into a gourmet experience.
We can let a single mix-in pass (see our BK entry) but once we start adding a bunch of ingredients into a milkshake, it’s not fair to call it “chocolate” anymore. As a stand-alone chocolate shake, this one is just fine — it’s thick, rich and intensely sweet but somehow comes across as boring given the amount of other options Sonic offers you and in comparison to what we’ve ranked higher.
The Bottom Line:
You’re at Sonic, you should go nuts with the mix-ins. Use this as a base, not a standalone flavor.
Put some respect on Arby’s name! I know that Arby’s brings a lot of the hate on itself (their whole “we’ve got the meats” marketing comes across as obnoxious and a bit tone-deaf in our rapidly warming world) but the brand is pretty good at everything it does. The roast beef sandwiches are on point, their seasonal offerings are always strong, and they even made a Wagyu burger that was pretty damn tasty.
Glad to say that consistency translates over to their dessert offerings.
This shake is gloriously chocolate forward, it’s creamy, with a caramelized sugar and cocoa flavor, and a velvety smooth finish. We have the famed Ghirardelli to thank for that, as Arby’s blends Ghirardelli chocolate right into the shake before drizzling more Ghirardelli chocolate syrup on top. The only weak point is the consistency — it’s not nearly thick enough to deserve a higher spot on this ranking.
The Bottom Line:
Arby’s has nailed the flavor of a great chocolate shake, but they have a lot of work to do on the consistency. This is the only shake on this ranking where the lack of thickness holds it back.
Jack in the Box is, to misquote the late ’90s early ’00s band Disturbed, “Down with the thickness.” They make some of the thickest milkshakes in the game, so thick that it’s highly likely your straw will start to bend and contort from the force of your sucking as you try drinking it. But if you’re at Jack in the Box, we have to ask, why are you ordering anything other than an Oreo milkshake?
This is another milkshake that will probably continue to get overlooked by a vastly superior menu option, but if curiosity causes you to actually go for chocolate over Oreo, here is what you’re getting: a toasted semi-sweet chocolate flavor over a thick vanilla base. It has a nice balance between its sweetness and more bitter and complex cocoa notes.
It’s a bit too powdery to deserve a spot in the top five, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good milkshake.
The Bottom Line:
It’s not going to blow you away, but it’s a very good chocolate shake.
Dairy Queen’s chocolate shake’s can get confusing, you’ve got the OG Chocolate, and the Hot Fudge, and I’m pretty sure at one point there was a cold fudge, and just fudge, which I guess…. fudge at room temperature? It seems DQ has wisely scaled back, during my most recent visit there was just Chocolate and Hot Fudge.
It’s hard to describe why I like the Hot Fudge over the Chocolate flavor but it just tastes more chocolate-y to me. The chocolate flavor is richer and more prominent in the hot fudge, and it comes across as more decadent and satisfying to me.
If you like a bit more balance in your milkshake, I’d suggest the OG Chocolate, but if you’re a hardcore chocolate lover, the Hot Fudge is the move. The weak point of this shake? It’s not very thick. If the thickness is what you’re after, order a Blizzard instead. We suggest the Oreo Dirt Pie.
The Bottom Line:
Intensely chocolate forward, if you’re wondering if there is a difference between the “Chocolate” and “Hot Fudge,” there is — the Hot Fudge is better.
All of Chick-fil-A’s milkshakes are delicious. Each one is thick and flavorful, but Chocolate is the weakest flavor on the menu. Chick-fil-A’s milkshakes are made using the chain’s Ice Dream soft serve, which is incredibly dense and wonderfully sweet and creamy. The flavor here is well balanced between sweet and bitter notes, with a toasted cocoa flavor, hints of coffee bean, and a sweet vanilla finish.
The flavor is great, but it’s a bit too faint. A Chick-fil-A chocolate shake only disappoints when you’ve had the other flavors, which I have! I suggest you start with the Oreo.
The Bottom Line
An amazing chocolate shake but Chick-fil-A has an Oreo that is twice as good and summer is peach milkshake season, so you’ve got a lot of options that aren’t chocolate and offer a way better experience. Order one of those instead.
I have all sorts of nostalgic love for In-N-Out’s milkshakes but if I’m being real I have to admit that the chocolate shake doesn’t really taste all that much like chocolate. That isn’t to say it isn’t good though. It’s great, the cocoa flavor is so faint that it barely registers as chocolate on the taste buds, but the consistency of the milkshake is luxuriously thick and it has this unique and distinctly In-N-Out flavor that makes it delicious in its own right.
Word to the wise, if you’re ordering this milkshake in California, grab a spoon. This shake is way too thick for a paper straw.
The Bottom Line:
A great milkshake. It doesn’t taste all that much like chocolate but the delicious sweet flavor and thickness is enough to earn it a spot in the top five.
Shake Shack is the only fast food brand on this ranking that uses custard instead of soft serve ice cream as a base for their milkshakes. What’s the difference between custard and soft serve? Not a whole lot, but custard tends to be smoother, denser, and more luxurious than airy and sweet soft serve, which absolutely matters when we’re talking about milkshakes. That denseness doesn’t necessarily result in a thicker shake than the competition, it’s still very easy to drink, but there is a richer mouthfeel here — the flavors are more intense and seem to soak into the tongue in this really satisfying way.
The chocolate flavor provides a rich and earthy cocoa flavor with a smooth caramelized sugar finish. Shockingly, despite my praise, this isn’t Shake Shack’s best milkshake, the chain almost always has a seasonal flavor that trumps this very delicious flavor. Right now you can get an Oreo Cookie Funnel Cake and a Chocolate Churro Shake, which makes plain chocolate a little hard to recommend.
The Bottom Line:
If one of Shake Shack’s always rotating seasonal flavors doesn’t catch your eye, order this — it’s one of the best tasting, richest, and smoothest chocolate shakes in the fast food universe.
Is Five Guys my favorite fast food joint? I’m genuinely asking because if you asked me for a short list of my five favorite fast food restaurants, I don’t think Five Guys would even come to mind, and yet I consistently give them the top spot in our food rankings. I think they have the best fries, and one of the best burger menus thanks to a limitless combination of options, and here we are with our second milkshake ranking of the year, and once again Five Guys has come out on top.
Never has a fast food chain been so consistently great across the board!
This milkshake is so damn good that a single sip will actually cause you to exclaim “wow!” no matter how jaded and joyless your existence is. This is one of the few milkshakes that actually start to taste better the longer you drink it, the chocolate flavor stays consistently strong throughout the whole experience. Five Guys blends Ghirardelli chocolate in a thick creamy vanilla base and doubles down with some fudge mixed in, which occasionally comes bursting through the straw with a rich and heavy flavor. Imagine the best milk chocolate you’ve ever had, but drinkable.
At Five Guys you can add all sorts of things into your milkshake, you can put everything from bananas and strawberries to bacon in this thing to elevate the experience, but some days, nothing is going to hit like the plain chocolate and that’s a testament to just how good this milkshake is. It doesn’t even need the extra ingredients to be good.
The Bottom Line:
Heaven for chocolate lovers. This is the thickest, richest, and most chocolate-y milkshake in the fast food universe.
I am aware that in the age of Peak TV, there is absolutely no time to watch anything. But if you haven’t seen FX’s The Americans, which aired on from 2013 to 2018, you have a significant television drama blindspot that is as embarrassing as having never seen Casablanca but declaring yourself a cinephile. The series follows two KGB agents who are living a normal suburban American life. By day, they work at a travel agency and by night (and honestly most days) they go on assignments for the KGB.
The show is a mixture of Mad Men and The Sopranos. Like Mad Men, it’s a slow burn, a deep character study that examines the complexities of human relationships and identity. It wrestles with the dangers of a country poisoned by capitalism. Like The Sopranos, it unpacks the American Dream by exploring the dynamics of a quaint American family (husband, wife, daughter, son) and it manages to pack in thrilling action between all the familial drama.
The chemistry between the now-married-in-real-life leads Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys is intoxicating and makes it one of the best, sexiest, shows of the Golden Age and, honestly, my favorite television show of all time, with one of the best series finales of all time. The Americans is now streaming on Hulu, and is, therefore, easier to watch than ever. Here are five reasons why you should watch The Americans (which is a perfect fall watch considering its surplus of knitwear and coats.)
1. Keri Russell
FX
On The Americans,Felicity star Keri Russell played Elizabeth Jennings, an undercover KGB agent living an All-American life in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Elizabeth Jennings is not only one of the best female characters ever written, she’s one of the best characters ever written. Elizabeth (who does not chop her hair off for any season) is fiercely loyal to her homeland to a fault. She will do anything for the Soviet Union, even killing innocents. Throughout the series, Elizabeth struggles with her American life and her twisted loyalty to Russia as it begins to conflict with her genuine feelings for her husband, Philip, and her love for their two children, who believe they are a normal American family. Russell’s subtlety is essential to the role, which requires a quiet but poignant cruelty and buried emotions. If you watch The Americans, you will find yourself getting very, very upset that she never won an Emmy for the role. So if you need something new to be mad about, let it be this.
2. The Original Sad Boy
FX
Kendall Roy is television’s favorite sad boy of the moment, but Philip Jennings did it first. Matthew Rhys who, unlike co-star Russell, won an Emmy for his performance in the sixth and final season, plays Philip, who is the polar opposite of Elizabeth. Philip is the conflicted KGB agent, who, over time, actually falls in love with his partner/wife and simultaneously, with American life. He’ll do his job, but unlike Elizabeth, Philip gets emotionally attached and is enticed by the ease of American life as opposed to life in his home country. In a particularly chilling season three episode, Elizabeth and Philip stuff a dead woman’s body into a suitcase by breaking her bones. Philip shows his pain throughout the scene, while Elizabeth is simply doing her job. Philip is Kendall Roy level weepy but sexy and has a piping hot temper that Rhys builds up to seamlessly.
3. The Wigs
FX
As spies, Elizabeth and Philip Jennings are sexy. But more importantly, they are masters of disguise. Throughout the series, Elizabeth and Philip take on multiple alternate identities. Some of those identities have such a distinct persona and look that they become essential characters on their own. But these identities wouldn’t work without the wigs, which can transform the very hot Elizabeth and Philip into frumpy cat lady or mulleted ’80s punk. Wig queen Nicole Kidman wishes she had the Jennings’ collection.
4. The Soundtrack
FX
The Americans begins in 1981, and unfolds throughout the entire decade. Instead of opting for the standard, expected 80s soundtrack, The Americans weaves deep cuts of early punk (like early The Cure) with classics like Fleetwood Mac and Elton John. The music is vital to the series, and is used cleverly to capture a mood, propel the action, and establish where the characters are at mentally. The music is not used simply to establish the 80s time period. The pilot episode features one of its best needle drops ever, with Fleetwood Mac’s riveting “Tusk” during a thrilling action scene.
5. The Stacked Supporting Cast
FX
While it’s Russell and Rhys who elevated the The Americans into one of the best shows of the Golden Age, they’re also joined by an overwhelming, fabulous supporting cast. Noah Emmerich plays the show’s equivalent to Breaking Bad’s Hank Schraeder, FBI agent Stan Beaman, who happens to be the Jennings’ new neighbor and who strikes up a friendship with Philip. Margo Martindale and Frank Langella play KGB handlers for Elizabeth and Philip, and later in the series, a pre-Ozark Emmys Julia Garner joins, all but confirming that she would soon become an award-winning star.
BONUS: The 69ing Scene
FX
WhileGame of Thrones was more concerned with sexual violence and the male gaze than anything else, The Americans was concerned with actually sexy sex scenes. In the season two premiere, lovebirds Elizabeth and Philip Jennings engage in mutual, simultaneous oral sex, which is more popularly known as 69. Nice! The scene is brief, but it’s hot and we are eternally grateful that FX managed to get this on air. In hindsight, it was probably a good thing that so few people watched The Americans as it aired so they could get away with it.
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