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We Tasted Hot Dogs With 15 Different Toppings To Find The Best Combo For Your 4th Of July Cook Out

With the 4th of July falling on a Monday this year, we’ve got a long weekend ahead — meaning you might have a hot dog or five in the next few days. That’s a handful of opportunities for experimentation with toppings. That’s where I come in. I’m tasting 15 different toppings and combos therein to find the ultimate toppings for the humble hot dog.

(Though it should be noted that at UPROXX, we are squarely in the “put whatever you want on your hot dog” camp.)

When my boss assigned me this tasting, he was very clear on two things. First, I had to use his favorite hot dog from last year’s blind taste test of a gazillion hot dogs. Of course, those dogs are a bespoke brand from Portland, Oregon — his hometown. You can get them here, if you’re into it. Just be warned, they’re $19 for a four-pack of foot longs. I know, I did a spit take too. That said, I cooked these dogs in a cup of water and a cup of Coors Banquet for that ultimate dirty water dog experience and they’re pretty wonderful.

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

Second, I had to keep the toppings simple. All of the toppings I’m using for this tasting had to be available at the grocery store. My editor didn’t want me (and then you) making anything on a stovetop — that removes chili from the equation. To that end, I bought every one of these toppings at my local Kroger.

Lastly, I’m using Kroger Private Selection brand Sweet Hawaiian hot dog buns. I like the layer of sweet to the soft bread in my hot dog equation, but that’s just me.

Beyond the bun and the dog, the rest is pretty straightforward. I lined up 15 bites, topped them, and started tasting and rating. I threw in a few combos throughout. I didn’t go too crazy though. There are no overloaded hot dogs — again, no chili dogs in play.

I ended up grabbing, using, and topping with some combo of the following:

  • Hellmann’s Mayonaisse
  • French’s Classic Yellow Mustard
  • Valentina Salsa Picante Mexican Sauce, Extra Hot
  • Herdez Queso con Salsa
  • Heinz Ketchup
  • Kraft Chipotle Aioli
  • Kroger Private Selection Caramelized Onion
  • Vlasic Dill Relish
  • Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard
  • Kroger Deluxe American Cheese Slices
  • Nando’s Perinaise Peri-Peri Mayonnaise
  • Boar’s Head Sauerkraut
  • Yucatan Guacamole
  • White Onion (I diced mine but you can buy pre-diced in the salad aisle)

Let’s dive in!

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

15. Hellmann’s Mayonaisse — Taste 3

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is one of the most basic plays in the topping game. A line of mayo on the dog and nothing else. Hey, mayo works with bologna. It tracks that it’d vibe here.

The Taste:

The fattiness of the mayo is… a lot. The spices of the sausage kind of get washed out. There’s an off flavor to this I can’t quite put my finger on. I think it just doesn’t vibe with the actual sausage and that faint hint of lamb from the casing.

Bottom Line:

This was not good, which is weird since mayo as a component is great on a hot dog. In this combination, it’s to be avoided.

14. French’s Classic Yellow Mustard — Taste 2

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is probably the most iconic/classic topping. A line of old-school yellow mustard is the “purist’s” version of what a hot dog is supposed to be.

The Taste:

This had a nice bite to it. But the yellow mustard didn’t really add anything to the plain dog besides a slightly watery mustard spice.

Bottom Line:

Meh. This was fine but not really anything to write home about. It sort of feels like yellow mustard on your dog is the butter on your pasta of hot dog toppings.

13. Valentina Salsa Picante Mexican Sauce, Extra Hot — Taste 7

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

Hot sauce. Hot Dog. This has to be a winning combination. Plus, I’m always putting hot sauce on my dog, so this felt like an easy win.

The Taste:

The hot sauce did add a nice layer of heat to the mild spices of the sausage. It also added a nice counter to the sweetness of the bun. There were layers that played well together in this bite.

Bottom Line:

Overall, this is the first topping on this list that I’d finish the whole dog with. I would immediately want another dog with more toppings next, but I wouldn’t be offended by this single topping either.

12. Herdez Queso con Salsa — Taste 8

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

Cheese on hot dogs is severely underrated. I’ve had this version before but it was presented as a dipping situation where you dipped a dog in an oven-hot bowl of queso. It was delightful and kind of sinful.

The Taste:

The light spice of the cheese really added a nice layer to the sausage. It also was a nice counter to the sweet bun. The cheese was a little soft and didn’t quite have the brightness of homemade queso (obviously).

Bottom Line:

Cold queso from the jar is fine for dipping tortilla chips in (just). On a hot dog, it has its place but it wasn’t the “wow” I wanted from cheese on a hot dog. It was kind of limp and listless.

It tasted fine, it just didn’t grab my attention.

11. Kraft Chipotle Aioli — Taste 4

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This was an impulse grab in the sauce aisle. I like chipotle. I like aioli. I figured there’s no way this would be bad on a hot dog.

The Taste:

The hot dog was the nicest part of this pairing. The Chipotle Aioli was just okay. There was a hint of garlic but it felt more like dehydrated garlic powder that the real stuff. The “chipotle” was kind of there but more as an echo than a nice layer of smoked spice.

Bottom Line:

Overall, this was miles ahead of plain mayo. There was a decent spice element but it wasn’t really adding all that much.

10. Heinz Ketchup — Taste 1

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is the biggest controversy on this list. Yes, ketchup is fine on a hot dog. The sweet and umami sauce is made for savory and slightly spiced meat, like a hot dog sausage. Still, every single hot dog cart on earth goes through massive amounts of ketchup daily. So it’s a classic topping that people, you know, actually eat (whether the internet trolls like it or not).

The Taste:

The sweet/savory aspects of the ketchup go well with the snap and spice of the dog. The sweetness of the bun and the sweetness of the ketchup is a little too much though. So I took the second bite out of the bun and it was far better balanced between sweet/spicy/savory without that bun.

Bottom Line:

This might have ranked higher without the sweet bun. Still, with that bun, this was pretty good. Simple? Yes. But there’s something about that sweet/savory vibe that just works on a slightly spiced sausage.

9. Kroger Private Selection Caramelized Onion, Ketchup — Taste 11

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

Since I couldn’t make any sauces and I wasn’t in the New York area, I had to improvise one of my favorite toppings — New York Onion Sauce. The sauce is on every cart in the metro area (and beyond) and is the only play for topping your dog when in town. Anyway, it’s basically caramelized onions (sometimes just sweated onions) in a mildly spicy tomato sauce that’s 100 percent never ketchup but always sort of tastes exactly like ketchup with caramelized onions would.

The Taste:

The onions add a nice layer of sweetness to the whole affair. When combined with the ketchup, that sweetness goes a little far. But the mild spice of the onions pulls it back just enough to make a nicely balanced bite.

Bottom Line:

Overall, this was nice but a pale imitation of the NY Onion Sauce I wanted. Still, it was fine. I’d eat this again in a pinch and be perfectly satisfied.

If you’re in the right region, you should be able to find this jar.

8. Deluxe American Cheese, Yellow Mustard, Ketchup — Taste 13

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

I used to eat these dogs while waiting for the ferry in British Columbia multiple times every summer. Shout out to Gibson, BC! It flummoxed me at the time that everyone didn’t put a slice of deluxe American cheese on their hot dog (until Five Guys came along that is). To this day, I still add some every now and then because it’s goddamn good.

The Taste:

The cheese slice added a whole new dimension of savory to the dog with a light creamy edge. The mustard and ketchup acted like a mildly sweet/spicy accent to the cheese as it slightly melted under the heat of the dog but the edges of the cheese slice stayed unmelted (crucial). The whole thing takes on a level of deepness that just isn’t there without the cheese.

Bottom Line:

This is where we get into the Thunderdome of it all. I like all the toppings a lot from here on. This one is nostalgic for sure but also popular enough that a massive international fast-food chain adopted it.

Add that slice to your next dog, you will not be disappointed.

7. Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard — Taste 6

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is the epitome of “keep it simple, stupid.” Spicy brown mustard is the luxury car of America mustards and adds more spicy and more mustard-iness to everything.

The Taste:

This really stood out. The spicy brown mustard added more than just extra spice, the vinegar aspect was heightened. That provided a great balance to the whole dog with the savoriness of the sausage needing that sharp counterpoint like this.

Bottom Line:

Overall, this was simple but delightful. I can see just having this on every dog in a single sitting and being pretty happy about it.

6. Ketchup, Yellow Mustard, Vlasic Dill Relish — Taste 9

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is the quintessential trio of toppings. Enough said.

The Taste:

Ah, relish! The dill relish really makes this dog pop. The mild pickle spices, vinegar, and savoriness run deep and really meld with the sausage below. The ketchup adds a nice line of sweetness with a hint more spice and the yellow mustard counters that with its yellow-ness and mild mustard vibes. But it all comes back to that relish adding a flavor and textural bomb to the otherwise plain dog with some sauce on it.

There’s a bite and a crunch that wasn’t there before.

Bottom Line:

This was simple and nostalgic, sure. But it also had more going on and it all really made sense together as both a flavor combo and a textural one. Again, the amping up of the vinegar really helped this stand out.

5. Nando’s Perinaise Peri-Peri Mayonnaise — Taste 5

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This was another impulse grab at the grocery store. It was just sitting there next to all the other sauces. But I already knew I like this one. It’s essentially a spicy mayo with peri-peri spices (piri-piri peppers, cardamom, oregano, ginger, to name only a few of the spices in the mix).

There’s a good mild heat involved that works well with the fattiness of the mayo.

The Taste:

That mild yet distinct spice (think a halfway point between a jalapeno and a chipotle) that really works wonders on a hot dog. The spice and fat of the sauce elevated the snap and the savory of the sausage while the sweet bun balances everything out.

Bottom Line:

We’re into the good stuff here. I could just use this for the rest of the summer and probably be pretty happy about it too.

4. American Cheese, White Onion, Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard, Valentina’s Extra Hot — Taste 15 (Wild Card)

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

For the last taste, I kind of just threw some random toppings on the hot dog to see who it’d go if I was doing the same at a serving table at a party. There’s no real rhyme or reason, it’s just a mix of this and that, you know, kind of like if you were one too many beers in at the bbq.

The Taste:

Diced white onion really helps out a dog. The sharpness of the raw onion adds both spice and sweetness with a clear feel to it. The American cheese slice worked wonders with that raw onion (a classic duo). The spicy mustard probably would have been enough but the hot sauce did add an extra kick with a twinge of vinegar to really tie it all together in a layered experience with a nice bite to it both in spice and texture.

Bottom Line:

This was a nice change of pace. It’s also something I plan to go back to in real life. The layers made sense and there was a good balance between the flavors with a good dose of real heat at the end thanks to that hot sauce.

3. Classic Costco Style: Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard, Ketchup, Relish, White Onion — Taste 14

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

Oh, gather round, young ones. I remember the days when you could spoon your own relish and white onions on your $1.50 hot dogs at a Costco. They were the halcyon days of yore before we were relegated to two pumps for “ketchup” and “mustard” and that weird crank machine for relish that never works.

Anyway, a Costco dog with spicy brown mustard, ketchup, white onion, and relish was a go-to after a Costco run back in the day. It’s a distinct mix and worthy of this competition.

The Taste:

This combo really worked well with the sausage. The meat works well with the raw white onion (applied liberally) next to the vinegar-rich relish with a hint of extra spice. The spicy brown mustard and ketchup combo added the classic sweet/spicy mix to the toppings that rounded things out nicely. This was just good.

Bottom Line:

This was close to the number two or one. I think the only thing holding it back was a slight lack of focus. But that’s sort of the point of putting everything on your $1.50 dog at Costco. That said, I’d eat two of these without hesitation.

2. Guacamole, Mayonaisse — Taste 12

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

If you’ve ever had a hot dog in Uruguay, you’ll know the track I’m on here. While Pancho dogs have corn salsa, spicy mayo, and sometimes fries jammed into them, you can also get dogs with just mayo and guacamole and they’re delightful. It’s simple but somehow just works.

The Taste:

The guac adds a bright freshness to the whole bite. It’s a welcome change from everything else (and likely helped this rise in the rankings). The mild citrus and herbal vibe add a nice dimension to the savory sausage below while the fat from the avocado and mayo blend into a creamy and vibrant sauce on the dog. There’s a hint of sweetness from the bun that really rounds out the flavor profile from sweet to spicy to fatty to citrus to bright.

Bottom Line:

This is a super simplified version of a guacamole dog. You can make your own guac to amp this up for sure. Still, this was a seemingly simple topping duo that had really depth and worked wonders together as a hot dog topping.

1. Sauerkraut, Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard — Taste 10

Hot Dog Tasting
Zach Johnston

The Dog:

This is another quintessential topping duo. Kraut and spicy mustard is the pairing hot dog dreams are made of.

The Taste:

The sauerkraut adds so many new dimensions to the hot dog experience. There’s a slight bitterness that leads to a whole new layer of spice (think allspice and cloves) with a serious crunch and plenty of vinegar bite. The spicy brown mustard amps that up with bright mustard spice, a twinge more vinegar bite, and a hint of savoriness over the already savory sausage.

The sweetness of that bun really shines brightest here as the sweet-sour aspects of the bun and kraut meld damn near perfectly.

Bottom Line:

This was the best. I’m not going to say “by far” because the top three are all very close. I do think this is the most complex and most complimentary overall. That sweet/sour/spicy/bitter/savory bite is a pretty much “perfect bite” in the culinary world. That’s hard to deny.

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Denzel Washington Will Add Another Award To His Roster: The Presidential Medal Of Freedom

Not only does Denzel Washington have multiple Oscars, Golden Globes, and (most importantly) MTV Movie Awards to his name, but now he can add another coveted award to his roster.

The actor will be awarded the Presidental Medal Of Freedom. Washington is one of the 17 recipients, including Simone Biles, and a post-humous Steve Jobs. The medal recognizes public figures who have made significant contributions to American society, culture, politics or world peace. Denzel’s recent contribution to world peace by appearing in A24’s The Tragedy Of Macbeth, obviously.

The White House said in a statement: “President Biden has long said that America can be defined by one word: possibilities. These seventeen Americans demonstrate the power of possibilities and embody the soul of the nation – hard work, perseverance, and faith.”

The actor has had a long and prolific career, appearing in films like Philadelphia, Fences, American Gangster, and more. Earlier this year, Washington reflected on his iconic career, saying: “One of the most important lessons in life that you should know is to remember to have an attitude of gratitude, of humility, understand where the gift comes from. It’s not mine, it’s been given to me by the grace of God. Use what I have, use what you have, to help others,” he said. Turns out Denzel is really good at motivational speeches!

The Medal of Freedom recipients will be awarded on July 7.

(Via Variety)

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Kevon Looney Got A 3-Year, $25.5 Million Deal To Remain With The Warriors

Since being drafted with the No. 30 overall selection in the 2015 NBA Draft, Kevon Looney’s journey has taken place in a Golden State Warriors uniform. From a little-used reserve to a key rotation piece and, ultimately, a starting center for the 2022 NBA champions, Looney’s undeniable progression is a tremendous story, and he timed his breakout well in advance of unrestricted free agency during the 2022 offseason.

Looney enjoyed reported interest from other franchises but, in the end, he will return to San Francisco, per Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN.

The news and the price tag were confirmed by Anthony Slater of The Athletic, who added the final year of the deal is partially guaranteed.

Looney is an incredibly strong defender that helped to anchor a tremendous Golden State defense during the title run. He averaged a career-best 7.3 rebounds per game (in 21.1 minutes) during the 2021-22 campaign, and Looney also appeared in all 82 regular season games. That was the precursor to another leap in the playoffs when Looney averaged 5.8 points and 7.6 rebounds per game for the Warriors. That included a pair of double-doubles in the Western Conference Finals against the Dallas Mavericks and a 22-rebound effort against the Memphis Grizzlies.

Though Looney is not primed for a superstar turn, he is clearly a valuable piece for Golden State. That is made even more clear by the luxury tax investment required to retain his services, but Looney brings a valuable and lofty baseline at the center position that should be quite valuable for the Warriors in the near future.

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Trevor Noah Can’t Quite Wrap His Head Around The SCOTUS Ruling On The EPA: ‘So… What Is Their Job Now?’

The Supreme Court has been busy over the past few weeks. In addition to relegating child-bearing individuals to second-class citizens who should not be allowed to make decisions regarding their own bodies or health care, they’re also signaled that tearing down the laws protecting gay couples, contraception, and general rights to privacy could be next on their agenda. While those are only hypotheticals at the moment, one decision that is very real—and totally nonsensical—is the court’s recent ruling that the Environmental Protection Agency no longer has the right to protect the environment.

Say what?

As Trevor Noah explained on Thursday night:

In the last few weeks, [the Supreme Court] decided that church and states should get a little cozier. They decided that America’s real gun problem is that there aren’t enough of them. And they decided that coochies are state property.

And this week, just as their term ended, they decided that the Environmental Protection Agency has a little too much say over what we need to do to protect the environment so that our children and their children don’t spontaneously combust when the average winter temperature hits 132°. So they, as CNN put it, curbed the department’s “ability to regulate planet-warming emissions from the country’s power plants, just as scientists warn the world is running out of time to get the climate crisis under control.”

Great timing, guys!

Noah, like the rest of us, was understandably confused:

Wait, wait, what? The Supreme Court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency does not have the authority to protect the environment? So… what is their job now? Are they just going to look at the environment and be like: ‘Oh SH*T! Alright, that was a good day at work. You guys wanna get some drinks?

Noah also commented on the way in which American media outlets often phrase news stories like this one, which was described by some as “a defeat for the Biden administration.” But given the gravity of what we’re talking about here, Noah sees it a bit differently: “It is a defeat for human life! It has nothing to do with Biden. You realize if we don’t get it under control, climate change is going to wipe us off the planet? And still these news anchors are going to be underwater like, ‘Will the rising sea levels help the Democrats or will it hurt the Republicans?’

You can watch the full clip above.

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Report: Bol Bol Signed A Deal To Return To The Magic

Bol Bol’s come a long way since being a 5-star recruit and one of the most promising young players in high school basketball. Bol suffered a foot injury several games into his collegiate career at Oregon, saw himself fall into the second round of the NBA Draft, and never really got the chance to play consistently as a member of the Denver Nuggets.

As a free agent, Bol was given the opportunity to get a fresh start somewhere else in the league, and on Friday afternoon, we learned that he’s going to do that as a member of the Orlando Magic. According to Khobi Price of the Orlando Sentinel, Bol will return to the team that acquired him ahead of the trade deadline on a 2-year contract. He’ll be part of a team that saw one member of its frontcourt leave in free agency already, as Robin Lopez is headed to the Cleveland Cavaliers. The team was, however, able to hold onto another free agent in its big man rotation in Mo Bamba.

Bol has struggled to carve out a role with the Nuggets during his three years in Denver, and last season, he underwent foot surgery appeared in only 14 games, the fewest of his young career. In 53 career games, Bol has averaged 2.7 points and 1.2 rebounds in 6.2 minutes per game while shooting 47.8 percent from the field and 37.8 percent from three.

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Kate Bush Reacts To The ‘Stranger Things’ Season Finale And Her Role In The ‘Roller Coaster Journey’

Kate Bush’sRunning Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” has been perhaps the least expected music success story of the year, as the 1985 single has been topping the charts ever since it popped up in the new season of Stranger Things. In fact, it is currently spending a third week at No. 1 on the UK charts, which has prompted a new post from Bush on her website.

Aside from celebrating the latest accolade, Bush also notes she’s seen the final two episodes of the current Stranger Things season and expresses how happy she is that she got to be a part of it. Her post reads:

“Whoooo Hoooo everybody! I just can’t believe it – No. 1 for the third week. We’re all so excited! In fact it’s all starting to feel a bit surreal.

I’ve just watched the last two episodes of Stranger Things and they’re just through the roof. No spoilers here, I promise. I’d only seen the scenes that directly involved the use of the track and so I didn’t know how the story would evolve or build. I was so delighted that the Duffer Brothers wanted to use RUTH for Max’s totem but now having seen the whole of this last series, I feel deeply honoured that the song was chosen to become a part of their roller coaster journey. I can’t imagine the amount of hard work that’s gone into making something on this scale. I am in awe. They’ve made something really spectacular.

I want to let you know about the amount of unofficial merchandise that’s out there. I haven’t seen it myself but I keep getting reports that there’s a huge amount: T-shirts, etc – some of which is very poor quality, some of which is pretty good and could be mistaken for being official. The only official merchandise is the already existing material that’s available through the official websites.

We hope you understand that we want to honour the energy that’s being generated by the audiences right now. An energy that feels very special, unique and quite frankly, bloody moving.

Thanks very much everyone,
Kate.”

In a recent interview, Bush said, “It’s just extraordinary. I mean, it’s such a great series, I thought that the track would get some attention, but I never imagined that it would be anything like this. It’s so exciting. It’s quite shocking really, isn’t it? The whole world’s gone mad [laughs]

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Chris Pratt Explains Why He Had Experience Fighting In His Underwear For A ‘The Terminal List’ Scene

In Chris Pratt‘s new Amazon series, The Terminal List, his character Jack Reece (not to be confused with Jack Ryan or Jack Reacher, who also made the leap from best-selling novels to streaming shows) is attacked while getting an MRI, resulting in a brutal fight scene where Pratt has to ward off his attacker while wearing nothing but his underwear.

While attending The Terminal List premiere, Pratt opened up about filming the action scene in his skivvies, which fortunately, he had a lot of experience with due to some good ol’ sibling rivalry. “I used to fight my brother a lot in my underwear,” Pratt said. “Oftentimes, we’d run around in our underwear fighting each other.”

After joking about his childhood underwear brawls, Pratt got (briefly) serious while talking about the choreography for the scene. Via Variety:

“… I just remember saying, ‘This is a man fighting for his life. I want it to be dirty. So I’m gonna punch him in the balls. I’m gonna rip out their eyes. I’m gonna do everything you wouldn’t do in a sanctioned boxing match, right? It’s not a clean fight. It’s raw, visceral and vulnerable.”

Then he added with a smile, “And you get to see me in my underwear, which is kinda cool.”

While Pratt was fully prepared for the underwear fight, showrunner David DiGilio admitted that the scene was almost a little too revealing. “We did have to use some visual effects to cover up a few more pieces at various points in the fight scene,” he said with a laugh.

All eight episodes of The Terminal List are now streaming on Amazon Prime Video.

(Via Variety)

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Report: Kyrie’s Contract Talks And The Warriors Winning A Ring Played A Role In Kevin Durant’s Trade Request

One major question hangs over everything in the aftermath of Kevin Durant‘s trade request: Why, exactly, does Durant want to leave the Brooklyn Nets? Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN went onto Get Up! on Friday morning and gave a little bit of insight, and unsurprisingly, it’s a bit complex.

According to Wojnarowski, a few things went into this. There’s the “acrimonious” contract talks that Kyrie Irving had with the franchise about an extension and, eventually, a sign-and-trade that did not go anywhere, something that was likewise cited by Howard Beck of Sports Illustrated. But there was another thing that made Durant take stock of how things were going in Brooklyn: The fact that his old team, the Golden State Warriors, was able to win an NBA championship this past year.

“I think what happened here in the last few months, the combination of the acrimonious talks with Kyrie Irving and the Nets about his future, their unwillingness to commit long-term to him, his inability to find a long-term deal and a sign-and-trade in the marketplace,” Wojnarowski said at the 2:53 mark of the above video. “And the Warriors winning a championship played a factor in this. I think it exasperated Kevin Durant’s frustration, I think that’s the narrative that surrounded him that he dealt with in the aftermath of him leaving Golden State, and then going on to win a title without him, contrasting with what has gone on in Brooklyn in these last three years and how James Harden comes, James Harden goes.

“Remember, James Harden was traded, they traded for him, because they thought he gave them an ability to keep Kevin Durant long-term because they didn’t know that they could count on Kyrie Irving, and he came and left in the interim,” he continued. “And in the end, I think for Kevin Durant, essentially, I’m told what he described to ownership yesterday when he asked for the trade was that he needed a change of scenery. And so, he’s headed for that, I think certainly Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, have both very likely — almost assuredly — played their last games in Brooklyn.”

It is worth mentioning that Durant has not spoke publicly since the trade request, so there we have not heard from him on why he wants to try something new.

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Seth Meyers Thinks It’s ‘Mind-Boggling’ That None Of Trump’s Cronies Have Gone To Jail Over January 6th Yet

Like so many others, Seth Meyers isn’t very optimistic that the January 6th hearings are going to do much to change the minds of Donald Trump’s greatest admirers and champions. As the Late Night host said on Thursday:

“We’ve been through a seven-year-long onslaught of Trump scandals, including two impeachments, a violent coup, and a sex scandal in which he paid hush money during a presidential campaign to cover up an affair with a porn star and lied about it up until the point where the actual check he personally wrote to make the payment surfaced with his signature on it.”

So it hardly seems likely that Trump die-hards—who are still standing behind the former president and probably aren’t even watching the hearings—are going to turn their backs on him now. But what Meyers finds even more shocking is that none of the people who have propped Trump up along the way and helped to foment the insurrection at the Capitol have not yet been thrown in the clink for the part they played in the deadly riots of January 6th.

Meyers replayed the part of former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony, in which she claimed that former White House counsel Pat Cipollone—on the morning of January 6th—asked her to make sure that no one in the Trump administration went to the Capitol and lamented, in her words, “something to the effect of… ‘We’re going to get charged with every crime imaginable if we make that movement [to the Capitol] happen.’” When asked by Liz Cheney if any specific crimes were mentioned, Hutchinson replied that in the days leading up to the 6th, they had talked about “obstruction of justice or defrauding the electoral count.” Meyers could barely believe what he was hearing:

“It’s truly mind-boggling to me that none of these guys are in jail yet when they themselves were expecting to end up in jail. Merrick Garland’s still poring over transcripts looking for a smoking gun. Meanwhile, on January 6th, Trump aides were all on Pinterest searching for ‘ways to accessorize your orange jumpsuit.’”

Meyers went on to state that Cipollone’s alleged comment “was not just a one-time freakout on January 6th, as Hutchinson made clear in that clip… Think about it: they even named the specific laws they were breaking. They literally laid out a blueprint for prosecutors to arrest them. I mean, how much easier could you make it? This is like if, on every page, Waldo was holding up a giant sign that said, ‘I’M RIGHT HERE YOU IDIOT.’”

Yet here we are with Trump and his many law-breaking cronies roaming free (at least for now) and making excuse after excuse for why they did nothing wrong.

You can watch the full clip above.

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Doja Cat Now Has The Second-Most Platinum Singles Ever For A Female Rapper

Doja Cat has had a massively successful last few years, racking up victories and nominations across a variety of prominent award shows, putting on stellar live sets, and regularly being called upon by stars of today and yesteryear to add her versatile spice to their records. Today (July 1), she has earned a whopping 22 new RIAA certifications, which has helped put her in rare air: She now has 14 total Platinum singles, which is tied with Nicki Minaj for the second-most ever for a female rapper. The Planet Her and Queen artists now only stand behind Cardi B within these specific rankings, with the Invasion Of Privacy artist holding firm at 17 Platinum singles.

The RIAA has certified the 26-year-old’s singles “Juicy,” “Need To Know,” “Ain’t Sh*t,” “Streets,” “Rules,” “Get Into It (Yuh),” “Woman,” “Cyber Sex,” “Candy,” “You Right” featuring The Weeknd,” “Like That” featuring Gucci Mane, “Tia Tamera” featuring Rico Nasty as Platinum, with “Say So” and “Kiss Me More” featuring SZA now five-times and four-times Platinum, respectively. Additionally, “Freak,” “Bottom B*tch,” “So High,” “Mooo!,” and “I Don’t Do Drugs” featuring Ariana Grande are officially Gold-certified. Lastly, Doja Cat’s 2019 LP Hot Pink and 2021 LP Planet Her are officially Platinum, with 2018’s Amala reaching Gold status.

Though the multi-talent unfortunately has to miss some major upcoming shows due to tonsil surgery, surely some good news like this will comfort her in the recovery process before she is back to doing what she does best. It may just be a matter of time before she reaches No. 1.

Check out the full list of Doja Cat’s RIAA certifications here.

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.