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Adam Sandler completed 12 grades of school in less than six months. The man is an expert at education, which is why the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University asked him to deliver a commencement speech to graduating seniors. (I guess there’s no hard feelings to the NYU professor who told him to quit acting.)

Sandler dedicated a portion of his speech to the parents in the crowd, including none other than Martin Scorsese (the legendary Oscar-winning director, who earned his bachelor’s from the university in 1964 and master’s in 1968, is very involved with NYU). “Parents, listen to me. You guys really messed up,” the Uncut Gems star said. “You might be supporting these kids for a very long time. They are not leaving the nest any time soon. This is a tough business they chose, but there’s still time to talk them out of it. I’m trying to talk my kids out of show business, and they know f*cking Adam Sandler.”

Sandler then offered up a piece of advice to any mom or dad who wants to have sex alone in their house again. “Somehow slip your kid’s headshot to Mr. Martin Scorsese before this event ends. He’ll love it, I promise… and do not take no for an answer. That’s how Leo’s mom did it.” You can see Scorsese’s reaction in the video below.

Between Sandler and Taylor Swift, it was a good year to graduate from New York University (besides the crippling student loan debt, but that’s every year). Tough break for next year’s graduating seniors, who get Rob Schneider and Meghan Trainor.

Actor Matthew McConaughey is known for being a bit of a philosopher. He played up the persona a few years back in a series of commercials where he pontificated while behind the wheel of a large Lincoln.

“Taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself. That’s the sweet spot,” he said in one ad. “Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward,” he mused in another.

McConaughey’s philosophizing isn’t limited to TV commercials. He keeps the party going on Twitter where he regularly posts videos of himself discussing everything from journaling to how he’s arrived at his unique perspectives.

On May 16, he made a bold claim in a video that some may not agree with but it actually has a strong footing in science. In a video where he’s sitting on a lawn chair, McConaughey says that the word “unbelievable” should be removed from the dictionary.

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believe itn#soulcashpic.twitter.com/uHwhXlMRjn

— Matthew McConaughey (@Matthew McConaughey)
1652720819

“Unbelievable. It’s my least favorite word, I think we should wipe it out of the dictionary. Why? What’s so unbelievable about tragedy, about triumph, about people that raise us up or let us down?” he asked.

“It happens every single day we shouldn’t think that the most beautiful sunset or the greatest play or the greatest love of our life or the greatest moment of euphoria is unbelievable. Believe it! It’s happening right in front of you,” he continued. “In you! We shouldn’t feel like the greatest tragedy of death or earthquakes or national disasters or loss is unbelievable. It’s part of life too! Believe it. We see it happen every day.”

He suggested some words we should use to replace “unbelievable.”

“Unbelievable? I don’t buy it. Awesome, horrible, incredible. I believe those. That’s a good way to explain things. But unbelievable? Nah. It just happened. Believe it,” he said.

McConaughey is asking people to reframe how they see people and events to accept the entire spectrum of reality. Even if that means coming to the realization that people can be incredibly altruistic and also downright evil. Or that when we see a powerful natural phenomenon—whether deadly or beautiful—we accept it all as part of our awe-inspiring universe.

He’s asking us to put aside our judgments and take it all in. Because when we label things “unbelievable” we set them apart from reality when we should be incorporating them into our worldviews.

The funny thing is that McConaughey’s thoughts are in alignment with one of the most powerful ideas in linguistics, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. It posits that the language we use has a strong effect on how we interpret reality and that people who speak different languages see the world differently.

The idea is still up for debate, but linguists believe that “language influences perceptions, thought, and, at least potentially, behavior” (Holmes, 2001). Therefore, McConaughey is right. When we deem the things we see with our own eyes to be “unbelievable” we are divorcing ourselves from reality. Why cast the extremes aside when we can embrace the entirety of our scary, beautiful and mysterious existence with our entire hearts?

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower:

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1. 

“1985 champagne Ford Taurus. Front and back license plates said ‘Bernie’. Everyone who rode signed the roof lining. Brittany Spears sticker on the hood. Orange scuff marks lining the side from taking out rows of plastic construction barrels, on purpose.” – @StaufferJacob85

Not sure I see the problem here. Clearly that car was work of art.

2. 

“My car in high school had a hole in the gas tank, but it was near the top, so you only had to worry about it if you put in more than $7 worth of gas.” – @jimmyfallon

3. 

“Our son’s first car has electric doors. They often malfunction and open / close at random when he’s parked. He has to time it just right as he dives in and out or he gets stuck!” – @Sohnzie

4. 

“The sunroof blew off of #myworstcar the first time I drove it on the highway. I duct taped a piece of plexiglass over the hole & that was the roof for the next 2 years. The electrical system shorted out from water getting in and the alarm would go off randomly and the radio froze.” – @hopesstillmedia

5.

“2 months after my Uncle ‘got it checked by a mechanic,’ the transmission went out. Over the years, the alternator broke down twice, the air conditioner, the serpentine belt, the brakes… I could go on. I think I should get a refund for the $1 gave my uncle.” – @rednicknack

6.

“The 1st car I drove in the 80s was a Chevy Chevette in high school. It didn’t have 2nd gear so you had to go from 1st to 3rd. The driver’s seat was broken so we had a short 2×4 wedged between the back of the seat and the floor in the back.” – @englishteacher8

7.

“I drove a 98 ford ranger in high school that could only go 45 mph before it started back firing. When you got up to 46, people thought you were performing a drive by shooting. Got stopped by the cops a few times for it.” – @amylynnfish

8.

“My mom owned a 1992 Chrysler LeBaron, and its car radio all of a sudden stopped working. So whenever my mom wanted to listen to the ‘radio’, I had to do all the radio sound effects and static noise, sing random songs and commercial jingles, and recite ad voiceovers.” – @DulceFloCruz99

9.

“2004 Honda Civic Coup. where to begin? the muffler that would fall off every couple miles, the ac that never worked, break pad that fell into my hand or the fact only one of the vehicle’s TWO doors would open?!” – @moshimotions

10.

“I learned to drive a stick car in ’86 on a ’76 VW Rabbit. There was a hole in the floor near the shift. I always felt like Fred Flintstone and if I had a problem I could just use my feet!” – @AnnMcD87

11.

“I had a 91 Acura and it had some alternator problem where it would not start if it was hot (I lived in Pasadena at the time) so it was hot a lot. In my 21 year old mind, I decided to not fix the problem, just park the car on a slope wherever I went so I could start it.” – @astovesand

12.

“My first car, a maroon Mitsubishi Colt Vista, had a nest of bees living in both the driver and passenger side doors.” – @BrnSkr

13.

“My car in college always overheated and broke down in the same place going up a mountain. I often had to drive in front of a sign that said ‘Kentucky prison ahead, please do not pick up hitchhikers.’” – @HancockTraci

14.

“My first car when I was 17 had a hole in the pipe that takes the petrol to the tank, I’d put 30 in but average around 15 that made it to the tank if I was lucky. When I drop into the forecourt I would get the “get the f#c@n sand bucket ready” eye roll of the cashier.” – @asalllas

15.

“My first car was a 1981 gold Honda civic station wagon called the Jesus-mobile because it had one of those fish stickers on the back and would leak water and make a whine noise.” – @KyleKerouac

16.

Oops #MyWorstCar pic.twitter.com/K0a6BVJQBL

— Pierre Menard (@BrnSkr) May 18, 2022

Need they say more?

17.

“My first car was a Corvair. It had many issues, but the worst was when the motor mounts broke without warning and the engine literally fell out into the street while I was driving.” – @styllpoint

18.

“I stapled a tie die tapestry to the roof of the interior and it fell down while my mom was backing out of the driveway and she hit the mailbox.” – @JDylanNYC

19.

“I had a Toyota that was 4 different colors. Had replacement parts on it but couldn’t afford to get it painted. It had a cracked distributor cap so every time it rained, I had to take it apart to dry it out so the car would start.” – @kmacassar

20.

“#Myworstcar was an Acura that my dad bought at the police auction. He made me deep clean it and something suspiciously blood-colored came up from the back carpet.” – @KatieKlauss

21.

“In HS I had a 1970 Ford Maverick. Every time I turned left in the summertime, the AC drain drained into the passenger floorboard. Well-placed coffee cans caught most of the water.” – @saxmelody

22.

“My Brother and I had to get out and walk to the top of steep hills on family trips because our car was so underpowered.” – @Sohnzie

As the NBA has gone through its 75th season, the league has looked to celebrate its greatest players, coaches, and teams, most notably putting together the 75 Greatest Players list (which featured 76 because of a tie).

However, while the league has looked to avoid rankings, fans and media can’t help but turn a list into a ranking, and as a result you end up trying to debate players across eras, which becomes incredibly difficult. JJ Redick tried to make this point earlier this year when getting into it with Chris “Mad Dog” Russo when he brought Bob Cousy up as a better point guard than Chris Paul. Redick initially made the correct point that you can’t compare players from pre-1980 to players now, which Mad Dog rather hilariously shrugged aside with an “oh yes you can,” steadily luring JJ into a trap where he had to fire off a spicy take that naturally went viral, as he said Bob Cousy was being guarded by “plumbers and firemen.”

That, of course, riled up the old guard and on Thursday, the man at the center of those comments got a chance to respond, as Cousy went on Sirius XM NBA Radio. The Hall of Famer didn’t want to talk about himself too much but instead chose to defend those firemen and plumbers he played against, rattling off the likes of Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor, Bill Russell, and more as guys who weren’t too shabby.

Look, it’s a good response from Cousy because Redick probably shouldn’t have trotted out a classic Twitter sh*tposter response on national television. The overall point from Redick was that comparing the actual players themselves is a fool’s errand because of course modern players are better because they are more advanced both as athletes and in their skillsets, in large part because each generation of basketball player builds on what the previous ones have done.

On top of that, the overall competition level was far from what it is today, as while great players certainly were out there, the quality of the average (or below average) NBA player in that era was far from what it was today and Redick was joking on the fact that some of those early NBA players needed offseason jobs. Cousy’s frustration with that kind of commentary is understandable, though, and he handles it pretty well here.

What would we do without Doja Cat? Not only did she deliver one of last year’s best and most infectious albums (we still can’t get enough of Planet Her), she also played a part in bringing back Taco Bell’s beloved Mexican Pizza. And here at Uproxx Food, that gives her MVP status alongside Chance the Rapper, who brought back Wendy’s spicy nuggets, so… your move Jack Harlow. Can you please help us bring back The Meximelt? Maybe we get Harry Styles to bring back KFC’s potato wedges too?

Point being, we kind of expect all pop stars to be our fast food saviors now. Apparently, only they have the power to bring back all of our retired favorites. Paying customers aren’t enough of an incentive for these big fast food brands.

Anyway, the Mexican Pizza is back, baby! Taco Bell killed the fan-favorite during a covid-inspired streamlining attempt and everyone has been pretty salty about it since. But starting today, Taco Bell will be selling the Mexican Pizza at restaurants nationwide “while supplies last.” Which… do you mean supplies of packaging? Because Taco Bell has pretty much all of the ingredients needed to make this thing, so unless they’re talking about the boxes they serve the pizzas in, we’re dealing with artificial scarcity here. I guess Taco Bell is on some Nike shit, which means if you’re actually excited to try this thing before it sells out, we suggest you get on that ASAP before you end up having to buy it on the aftermarket for an inflated price like a rare pair of sneakers.

So — with all that context — does the Mexican Pizza actually warrant the hype? Did we really need Doja Cat to bring it back, or was this just smart marketing on Taco Bell’s part? We tasted the relaunched Mexican Pizza to see whether it lived up to our fond memories of what it used to taste like.

Taco Bell Mexican Pizza

Let’s get this out of the way, the Mexican Pizza isn’t just delicious, it’s Taco Bell’s best menu item. Hands down. It’s also the only fast food item I’ve ever ordered that actually looks more appetizing in person than the over photoshopped promotional material. It’s so good that we are legitimately puzzled as to why Taco Bell ever thought this was a good idea to get rid of (they claimed at the time it had to do with unsustainable packaging, but… f*ck the Earth I guess right?).

The Mexican Pizza is less of a pizza than it is a giant nacho. It offers more flavor per bite than anything item on Taco Bell’s menu, which ironically, actually includes a nachos dish. Unlike Taco Bell’s Nacho’s BellGrande, the Mexican Pizza has a better build and opts for piles of the three-cheese blend over Taco Bell’s salty nacho cheese sauce, putting it more in line with traditional nachos than anything else on Taco Bell’s menu.

The build consists of a single fried tortilla covered in beans and piled with meat, sandwiched between another fried tortilla topped with what Taco Bell calls “Mexican pizza sauce,” (it’s just a sweeter and cheaper tasting red enchilada sauce) melted three-cheese blend, and diced tomatoes. Each bite offers a shifting medley of salty, savory, earthy, spicy, and fresh flavors in the perfect ratio.

Unlike almost everything else on Taco Bell’s menu, the Mexican Pizza doesn’t want for anything. That’s its greatest strength.

You don’t need packets of hot sauce to make this thing taste good. You don’t need guacamole or jalapenos, or red or green sauce or a fancy menu hack to make it palatable — it’s delicious as is. It’s crunchy-yet-foldable, and the fried tortilla is strong enough to handle the weight of its ingredients while still being satisfyingly messy. I also love the form factor, it’s big enough to split with someone but small enough to enjoy as a full meal if you’ve got the craving.

Rarely does a returning fast food item wow me like the Mexican Pizza has. When Wendy’s brought the spicy nuggets back I was psyched, and I’ll always order at least one Shamrock McFlurry per year, but none of those items feels essential to me. And they certainly aren’t their respective chain’s best menu items. But the Mexican Pizza is different because rarely is a Taco Bell item ever this good when the diner is completely sober.

If I had one complaint about the Mexican Pizza it’s that the tortilla seems a bit different than I remember it. It’s thinner here, and a bit greasier, making it a little easier to break than the OG, but it’s a small change and not one that radically alters the experience or end result.

The Bottom Line:

Taco Bell’s most flavorful ingredients all smashed into a single dish. Think of the Mexican pizza like a giant nacho that delivers the perfect ratio of beans, meat, cheese, and sauce with every bite. It’s the comeback story of 2022. Now, about that Meximelt — which pop star is stepping up?

In 1974, Jonathan Searle created mass panic when he and his brother pranked the beach-happy folks of Amity with a cardboard fin. Searle was a child actor with a notable role in Jaws, as the merry prankster pointing at his brother and frantically crying, “He made me do it!” as tons of local cops swarmed them following their hoax. Now 56, he’s taking on the Brody role for real in the same town where the movie was filmed. Searle has been named the Chief of Police for Oak Bluffs, a section of Martha’s Vineyard.

“I’m finding the whole thing quite funny myself!” Searle said, although apparently not a single reporter thought to ask him whether he’d close the beach should an unstoppable eating machine menaced the tourists and small-town denizens.

Fortunately, this is the second time that real life has cribbed off Steven Spielberg, so we know the answer. Back in 2008, a hoaxer claimed there were two 3,000-pound sharks in the waters off Martha’s Vineyard, and Searle was sent in to investigate. All was well, the beaches didn’t have to close, and it turns out that scaring people with phony killer sharks scores you a “disorderly conduct” rap sheet. Now we know what to charge Searle’s childhood character with.

(Via New York Post)

Jason Momoa is not slowing down anytime soon. The actor recently wrapped up filming the upcoming Aquaman sequel which is slated for release next spring. Currently, he is filming the latest Fast And Furious installment in London. Oh, and he also is set to star in the new Minecraft movie, if that ever happens. Next up, he will be in Shots! Shots! Shots! which is a movie, to be clear.

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that Momoa has been cast in the upcoming Universal Pictures action-comedy written by Matt Mider and Kevin Burrows, who recently worked together on the animated series Gentleman Lobsters and the 2018 teen comedy The Package. Momoa is also set to produce alongside Jeff Fierson, Dan Lin, and Jonathan Eirich.

There are no plot details at the moment (or even a director attached to the project) though the movie is expected to be an action-adventure/mystery flick for the whole family. Seeing as “family” is kinda Momoa’s whole thing, that would make sense, in addition to the success of Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock’s family-friendly hit The Lost City.

Shots! Shots! Shots! also has nothing to do with the LMFAO song of the same name (probably) and hopefully nothing to do with the similarly titled Bodies Bodies Bodies. Though think of the power those movies would have if they were in the same universe. Filming is expected to begin later this year.

The latest news from the 2022 Cannes Film Festival, unfortunately, involves a certain former president who lost the popular vote twice.

Reports from the first screening of director James Gray’s Armageddon Time say that Jessica Chastain makes a surprise appearance in the film as Maryanne Trump, Donald Trump’s older sister. Focus Features describes the 1980s set Armageddon Time as “a deeply personal coming-of-age story about the strength of family and the generational pursuit of the American Dream.” The film, which is inspired by Gray’s own life, stars Anthony Hopkins, Anne Hathaway, and Jeremy Strong.

Maryanne Trump, now 85, is an attorney and a retired United States federal judge. Variety described Chastain’s scene as follows:

Chastain’s role is small but effective. As Maryanne Trump, she appears as a guest lecturer at an austere private school where the film’s young protagonist, Paul (Banks Repeta), matriculates mid-film. She lectures the privileged boys and girls about the value of ambition in a Phyllis Schlafly-esque beehive. Trump worked as a United States Attorney in the 1970s in New Jersey, and was named by President Ronald Reagan to a seat on the U.S. District Court for New Jersey in 1983. She was named to the Third Circuit Court of Appeals in 1999.

Chastain’s small role was originally meant for Cate Blanchett, who dropped out of the film for unknown reasons.

Scandal-plagued “entitled little boy” Madison Cawthorn took to Instagram for the first time since conceding the Republican primary for North Carolina’s 11th Congressional District to Chuck Edwards on Tuesday to spread the word about “dark MAGA.”

The “post-alt-right online aesthetic movement” (not to be confused with MAGA After Dark) is a “hardening of the pro-Trump online space” that “provides openings for bad actors, creating multiple fronts for entryism and networking among a broad swathe of violent extremist actors,” according to the Global Network on Extremism & Technology.

Cawthorn used it as a pledge to his followers and a warning to the haters and losers out there, “The time for gentile politics as usual has come to an end. It’s time for the rise of the new right, it’s time for Dark MAGA to truly take command,” he wrote. “We have an enemy to defeat, but we will never be able to defeat them until we defeat the cowardly and weak members of our own party. Their days are numbered. We are coming.”

Cawthorn also singled out the “America First Patriots” who “came to my defense when it was not politically profitable,” including Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, Steve Bannon, “the great Charlie Kirk” (lol), and Tucker Carlson. If you ever find yourself on a list with Taylor Greene, Gaetz, and Tucker, it’s time to rethink some life choices.

The typo in the post did not go unnoticed:

Here are more reactions:

(Via Instagram)

Another former Trump crony is hoping to make money from a White House tell-all and this time it’s campaign manager and “alternative facts” spin woman Kellyanne Conway.

Conway was instrumental in Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign and she remained a top advisor of the former president during his four years in office but, according to her new memoir, her job put a real strain on her marriage. Why? Because her husband, George Conway, couldn’t stand her boss and he wasn’t shy about hopping onto Twitter to let the world know it.

In excerpts from Conway’s book (via People), Trump’s henchwoman tries to excuse away her own complicity in playing babysitter to the tyrant-in-chief while skewering her husband for “cheating” on her by tweeting insults about Trump and his inner circle. No, really.

“George was spending chunks of time in New York at the firm, where he voluntarily went from partner to an of-counsel role, spending his nights alone at our house in Alpine, New Jersey, 240 miles away from D.C.” Conway writes of the state of her marriage in 2018. “The numbers don’t lie. During this time, the frequency and ferocity of his tweets accelerated. Clearly, he was cheating by tweeting. I was having a hard time competing with his new fling.”

Conway also shares how her husband’s disapproval of a man who was actively separating families and putting kids in cages at the time also felt like a betrayal of their marriage vows.

“His daily deluge of insults-by-tweet against my boss violated our marriage vows to ‘love, honor, and cherish’ each other,” she continues. “On one side was my marriage and my husband. On the other was my job and my boss. I was able to keep these things separate and in perspective. George should have, too, but it seemed the flood of reaction and attention he was receiving was magnetic and irresistible.”

According to Conway, both Ivanka and Melania Trump went to bat for her during this very difficult time. Ivanka recommended the names of two couple’s therapists she thought the Conways should try, telling her father’s adviser, “I am in a family of Democrats. I get it.” (This comment referred to Ivanka’s in-laws and other Kushner relatives.) Meanwhile, Melania stood up for Conway against Trump after a handful of tweets from Mr. Conway disparaging the president left him angry and looking for someone to blame.

In another excerpt, Conway recalled this interaction: “‘Can you believe this?’ Trump said, referring to George’s recent eruptions. ‘This guy is nasty. He won’t stop. And it’s our Kellyanne. She’s my top person. She knows a lot, too! What are we going to do?’ Melania’s calm voice piped in immediately as my mouth closed and my eyes widened. ‘Donald,’ she said, ‘this is not her fault. And she is a big girl. Strong and confident.’ Melania wasn’t done. ‘We don’t control our husbands—and you don’t control us!’”

Weirdly enough, the Conways marriage seems to have survived the turmoil of the Trump years. Whether it makes it past this memoir’s sell date is another question.

(Via People)