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Our quest to help you find the best bourbons to drink is seemingly never-ending. There’s so much out there right now, it’d take anyone a lifetime to get to it all. But as Cliff Booth says to his pal Rick Dalton in Once Upon Time In Hollywood, “I try.”

To that end, I’m breaking down the seven single barrel bourbon whiskeys that took home the coveted Double Gold Medal at the prestigious San Francisco World Spirits Competition this year. This is an event some have likened to “the Oscars of booze,” and the Double Gold-winning single barrel bourbons are the elite of the elite.

There were only 35 single barrel straight bourbon whiskey entrants this year, this out of more than a thousand whisk(e)ys submitted across all categories. Single barrel bourbon is a small category in general, and these bottles tend to be represent the finest expression of that brand. These are the one-off “honey” barrels, which exist more as miracles than anything standard you’ll find in “barrel proof,” “small batch,” or “straight bourbon” offerings. Look at it this way: if a single barrel of whiskey is somehow amazing enough on its own to be bottled, it’s one of the rarest barrels in the rickhouse (also worth remembering: “single barrel” doesn’t mean “cask proof” or “barrel proof,” as plenty of single barrel expressions are proofed down for optimal drinkability, like most bourbon).

All of that means that the bottles on this list are going to be a little harder to come by, especially if you’re not in the Ohio Valley, or don’t have some serious cash laying around. Still, I’d argue that these whiskeys are always worth seeking out to both expand your whiskey palate and your bar cart collection of “the good stuff.” Let’s dive in and see what took home the double gold this year.

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

• The 50 Best Bourbon Whiskeys Of 2021, Ranked
• Every Winning Bourbon From Our 2021 Taste Tests, Blind Tasted And Re-Ranked
• The 100 Best Whiskeys Our Head Drinks Writer Tasted In 2021
• The Best Ten-Year-Old Bourbon Whiskeys, Tasted Blind And Ranked
• We Tasted Bourbon Whiskeys ‘Double-Blind’ And Tried To Guess Each Bottle

Uncle Nearest 1820 Premium Single Barrel

ABV: Varies

Average Price: $130

The Whiskey:

This yearly single barrel expression from Uncle Nearest Master Blender Victoria Eady Butler is one of the most beloved Tennessee whiskeys around. Eady Butler handpicks high-proof barrels that are aged a minimum of 11 years for this bottling. Each one is chosen to exemplify the beauty of Tennessee whiskey that’s drawn straight from the barrel.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, there’s a matrix of dried fruits, Christmas spices, malty oatcakes, oily vanilla pods, subtle maple sweetness, and a hint of dark chocolate cut with subtle orange oils. The palate delivers with the fruits leaning more towards candied cherries with worn leather, more dark cacao (especially with a little water to help it bloom), and plenty of sweet oak. There’s a long and fulfilling linger to this sip that ushers in a final note of buttery popcorn and a very distant billow of sweet tobacco pipe smoke.

Bottom Line:

If you can get your hands on this one, it’s a gem. A rock or a little water really helps it come to life in the glass (and calm down those higher ABVs). Overall, I’d be shocked if this wasn’t among the best in class/show when those awards are announced later this spring.

Colonel E.H. Taylor, Jr. Single Barrel

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $132

The Whiskey:

These whiskeys for E.H. Taylor, Jr. are aged in the famed Warehouse C at Buffalo Trace from their mash bill no. 1. While the exact parameters of that bill are undisclosed, this is the same recipe as Eagle Rare, Buffalo Trace Bourbon, and Stagg. In this case, the barrels are picked for their Taylor flavor profile and bottled one at a time with a slight touch of water to bring them down to bottled-in-bond proof.

Tasting Notes:

Dried dark fruits and a hint of vanilla wafers mingle with fig fruit leather, a touch of orchard wood, and a deep caramel on the nose. The palate holds onto those notes while layering in dark berry tobacco with sharp winter spices, new leather, and a singed cotton candy next to a cedar box filled with that tobacco. The finish lingers on your senses a while and leaves the spice behind for that dark, almost savory fruit note with an echo of blackberry Hostess pies next to soft leather pouches that have held chewy tobacco for decades and a final hint of old porch wicker in the middle of summer.

Bottom Line:

Goddamn, this is good bourbon. While this isn’t as elite (and over-inflated) as Elmer T. Lee, Blanton’s, Weller, or Pappy, it 100 percent lives up to the quality of those sibling brands from Buffalo Trace’s stills and rickhouses. Get this one while you still can.

Doc Whiskey Single Barrel Cask Strength Bourbon

ABV: Varies

Average Price: $22

The Whiskey:

This sourced whiskey is a bit of an outlier. The mash bill (from MGP of Indiana) is 51 percent corn, 45 percent wheat, and four percent malted barley. That makes this a supercharged wheated bourbon (most wheated bourbons are closer to ten to 20 percent wheat). The juice then ages for only three years before it’s bottled as-is by the blenders at Doc Whiskey.

Tasting Notes (from the distiller):

“Tasting Notes: Fruit, cream, vanilla. Aroma: Fruit, cream, and vanilla. Sweet fruit notes of the corn add complexity, making it overly sweet and creamy.”

Bottom Line:

Easily the most affordable entry on the list, not to mention the most wheat-forward, for any lover of wheated-bourbon (a category that includes such notables as Pappy, Maker’s Mark, and W.L. Weller), you almost can’t afford not to check this one out (provided you can get your hands on it).

John J. Bowman Single Barrel Straight Bourbon

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $50

The Whiskey:

A. Smith Bowman Distillery — a sibling distillery to Buffalo Trace in Virginia — is renowned for bottling some of the boldest bourbons in the game. This release is a no-age-statement and undisclosed mash bill of Virginia whiskey that’s around 10 years old. The whiskey is just proofed to 100 proof with local spring water before bottling as-is.

Tasting Notes:

Pain au chocolate leads the way on the nose with chewy toffee candies, Granny Smith apple skins, rich vanilla pods, and a hint of sweet cedar planks rubbed with apple-cinnamon tobacco leaves. The palate is sweet and classic as dark Karo syrup leads toward heavy doses of vanilla in a crispy pecan waffle with a side of chocolate milkshake, dark fruit leather, figs, dates, and a hint of marzipan. The mid-palate amps up the leathery dark fruit sweetness then tumbles toward an almond-chocolate-toffee vibe on the end with a hint of oak, old leather, and figgy tobacco on the finish.

Bottom Line:

This is some good damn whiskey. It’s also so well priced that you can mix this into one hell of a Manhattan, Sazerac, or old fashioned.

Kirkland Signature Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon

ABV: 60%

Average Price: $34

The Whiskey:

This Costco release is sourced from Sazerac’s other Kentucky distillery, Barton 1792 Distillery down in Bardstown, Kentucky. The whiskey in the bottle is very likely the same distillate/barrels as 1792 Full Proof, which won double gold as well from San Francisco this year. However, this is proofed down a tiny bit below that at 120 proof instead of 125 proof, adding some nuance to this release.

Tasting Notes:

This is, again, classic from top to bottom with a nose full of oily vanilla, thick caramel sauce, and a sense of almond shells by way of sweet oak with some dark fruit lingering in the background. The palate builds upon those promises with mulled wine-soaked cinnamon sticks, corn husks, nutmeg-heavy eggnog, creamy vanilla, a touch of dark cherry tobacco, and a dusting of dark chocolate powder. The finish brings it all together with a spicy/hot finish that’s part spicy chocolate pipe tobacco and part brandied cherry with an oaky base.

Bottom Line:

These are pretty fleeting but worth snagging (if you can). For one, it’s priced so well, especially since this is a one-liter bottle (instead of a standard 750ml bottle). Moreover, this is a just damn fine bourbon that works as well as a sipper as it does in cocktails.

Nashville Barrel Co. Single Barrel Bourbon

ABV: Varies

Average Price: $90

The Whiskey:

Nashville Barrel Co. is doing some of the best work in the bottling game, full stop. They’re sourcing incredible barrels (a lot from MGP) and bottling them as-is without any cutting, filtering, or fussing — they let the whiskey speak for itself and it’s kind of magical. This expression tends to be five to eight-year-old barrels that will vary slightly in the flavor profile while always leaning into bold and distinct flavors.

Tasting Notes:

Depending on which bottle you come across, expect a nose full of cotton candy, buttered popcorn, vanilla beans, freshly baked cherry pie with a lard crust, and plenty of caramel sauce, mild leather, hints of oak, and a dollop of orange oil. The palate will lean into the spice with plenty of cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and allspice with maybe a hint of anise and sweetgrass before a mid-palate of Almond Joy and salted caramel candies take over. That sweet mid-point will give way to a finish with nutty dark chocolate clusters with hints of dried fruits, old leather, sweet oak, and plenty of wintry spices.

Bottom Line:

I’ve maybe tasted 20 of these over the last nine months from various sources (including barrels at the dope tasting room in Nashville) and I’ve never had a bad sip. Nashville Barrel Co. is batting a 1,000 right now. Don’t sleep on these, they really are that special and might just win a best in show/class this year.

W.L. Weller Single Barrel

ABV: 48.5%

Average Price: $900

The Whiskey:

The whiskey is basically one step away from being a Pappy single barrel. The juice is the same wheated bourbon distillate that’s loaded into the same barrels. The main difference is the flavor profile these single barrels hit because they’re all under eight years old (Pappy is 10 years and older). These barrels are picked for their “Weller” flavor profile and then the juice is cut down very slightly with that famously soft Kentucky limestone water.

Tasting Notes:

The nose opens with a mix of fresh mint next to ripe red cherries with a vanilla backbone and a shaving of dry wood. The taste holds onto that vanilla while building towards eggnog spiciness with hints of dark chocolate, salted caramel corn balls, espresso bean bitterness, and this small flourish of white pepper. That powdery pepper lingers and warms as the sip slowly fades away, leaving you with those creamy eggnog spices, woody vanilla husks, and a mild tobacco buzz and warmth by way of a pine humidor.

Bottom Line:

What can I say about Weller that hasn’t already been said? While it’s no longer the “poor man’s Pappy,” this is still pretty stellar whiskey. It’s just a shame you can’t find this nearer its MSRP of $50. If that were the case, this would be one of the best cocktail bourbons around.

Over the weekend, social media lost it over a commercial for a new Tucker Carlson documentary called The End of Men, which alleges that testosterone levels are dangerously low. Specifically people zeroed in on a wildly homoerotic montage of shirtless, ripped men doing things like shooting guns and swinging axes and milking cows.

But that clip was just the tip of the iceberg. In an hour-long special previewing the new season of Tucker Carlson Originals, his doc series that airs on the streamer Fox Nation, the allegedly unvaxxed host chats with “fitness professional” Andrew McGovern, who explains some of the more curious images in the montage: shots of naked men standing in front of some infrared doodad.

What are these nude dudes doing? They’re heating up their junk. McGovern advises that if men want to “optimize” their testosterone, to take it “to another level,” they should try full-body red-light therapy. Or, as Carlson called it, “testicle tanning.” Whatever one calls it, McGovern asserts that it has “massive amount of benefits.” (Note: There isn’t much strong data on this practice’s benefits or lack thereof.)

The alleged decline of macho masculinity has been a favorite subject of Carlson, who used to wear bowties on television. Last November, he brought on Trumpist senator Josh Hawley, who told him, “Men are in crisis,” lamenting that “assertive” and “independent” guys’ guys are being treated as oppressors in today’s pluralistic society. Then again, perhaps Hawley hadn’t heard that to get back one’s masculinity, men can simply start heating their nuts.

Still, better Tucker telling people to blast their nutsacs than airing conspiracy theories so unhinged it enrages his own colleagues.

(Via New York Mag)

We sing the praises of fast food pretty often around here. The best cheeseburgers, the greatest tenders, the chicken sandwiches so good they’ll distract you from the weird dark timeline we’re living in, how to make Chipotle edible — we’ll never stop finding ways to dissect fast food. We do this because we’ve all been in that position where you’re hungry, spoiled for options, and just don’t have the time to bother thinking about what is the most worth your money.

But today we’ve decided to flip the script, instead of talking about the best of the best, we need to start calling out which menu items are truly awful. Or, to put a fine point on. it, what’s the least worth your cash.

Our hopes aren’t just to save you some money by avoiding these bad foods, we’re also hoping the big fast food brands take notice and make some changes, and judging from the emails I’ve received after I roasted El Pollo Loco’s birria, they do notice! Here are the worst fast food menu items at all the big chains.

Arby’s — Chicken Slider

It was between Arby’s Chicken Slider and the side salad (which is just an iceberg and leaf blend with tomato and shredded cheddar which is the absolute bare minimum to be considered a salad) but we’ve got to give it to the Arby’s Chicken Slider — this is terrible.

This… thing only exists because Arby’s already makes Roast Beef and Roasted Turkey sliders — both of which are good, especially when you add jalapeño — and since they have the little buns on sight, they just decided to throw a chicken tender in-between one and top it with some Swiss cheese and call it a “chicken slider.”

It’s awful. Not only does it taste like an afterthought, not something that was actually taste-tested or workshopped, but its primary focus is one of Arby’s worst meat options, the fried chicken tender. The chicken is dry, stringy, and tastes like black pepper and grease while the Swiss offers little more than a soft mouthfeel. It doesn’t melt and I’m not sure it’s even capable of melting.

The Bottom Line:

It’s the most depressing thing you’ll ever eat at Arby’s. It’s even more depressing than eating inside Arby’s alone at 9:49 pm on a Tuesday on a Spring night. Not that I’ve ever done that or anything. Like… for this article.

Find your nearest Arby’s here.

Burger King — Chicken Nuggets

Oh, Burger King, you’ve taken the bottom spot on so many of our rankings and we seriously gave a thought to putting your whole menu down for this ranking, but we have to give it to those Chicken Nuggets, they are truly the worst food on the BK menu.

And that’s really saying something because we’re pretty sure Burger King is home to no one’s favorite anything.

An eight-piece order of the Chicken Nuggets can be yours for the low low price of $1.49, that’s just over 18 cents per nugget, which begs the question: what the fuck is in these nuggets?! Sometimes Burger King will have a special where they’ll throw you 10 nuggets for $1.49. How is it this cheap? Do we want to know?

The flavors are truly awful, they aren’t crispy like a McNugget, they’re soft and squishy with a spongey meat texture that practically dissolves in the mouth from your saliva alone.

The Bottom Line:

This is the worst possible food you can order from a fast food drive-thru.

Find your nearest Burger King here.

Carl’s Jr. — Chicken Stars

This was a hard one for me because I have a lot of nostalgic love for these weird star-shaped chicken… things, but when it comes down to it I have to admit, the Chicken Stars are Carl’s Jr.’s worst menu item, hands down.

Worse than any single breakfast item, all of the dessert options, and even the French Toast Dips (which are a close second), these stars just don’t really taste like chicken. They are coated in this weird super crispy but ultimately flavorless breading (it tastes like oil, that’s it) and the texture of the chicken itself is weird and webby. The meat is somewhere between a paste and halfway dry glue.

The Bottom Line:

We’ve had plant-based chicken that tastes more like chicken than these weird fucked up stars.

Find your nearest Carl’s Jr. here.

Chick-fil-A — Cool Wrap

I love to dunk on Chick-fil-A, and the chicken chain is constantly giving people new reasons to dislike them, but we have to admit, the menu is pretty damn solid. Because the sandwiches, nuggets, breakfast offerings, salads, and even beverages are so good, the chain seems to (mostly) get away with their shitty politics.

They’re the Kanye West of fast food chains, openly awful and somehow beloved by younger Millenials and Zoomers despite it. It was hard to find a bad item on Chick-fil-A’s menu, but we found it — it’s the Cool Wrap.

If the Cool Wrap is your go-to order, don’t feel bad, it’s just the least flavorful thing on the menu, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. This wrap features sliced grilled chicken wrapped in a layer of Monterey Jack and Cheddar cheese with green leaf lettuce, in a rolled flaxseed flatbread.

The problem is this is essentially a Chick-fil-A Spicy Southwest Salad (different menu item) without the grape tomatoes, roasted corn, black beans, poblano chilies, and bell peppers, which is a long way of saying, “without flavor.”

I just don’t see why’d you’d order this instead of a salad unless you plan on eating while you’re driving. It lacks flavor, and the flaxseed wrap only makes it come across as blander.

The Bottom Line:

Essentially a Spicy Southwest Salad for people who are allergic to flavor.

Find your nearest Chick-fil-A here.

Chipotle — Queso Blanco

To be fair to Chipotle’s queso, they’ve revamped the recipe and it’s significantly better than the old yellow queso they used to sell which was famously awful, but… it’s still Chipotle’s worst menu item. It’s garlicky, oniony, and has a nice blend of chili peppers that provides heat and some subtle fruitiness but it just doesn’t taste all that cheesy.

Chipotle claims that the Queso Blanco is made with a blend of white cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese, but you can’t really taste any of the nutty qualities of the Monterey and none of that distinct sharpness of cheddar. The onion heavily dominates the flavor which leads us to ask, what’s with that onion, Chipotle? Everything it touches it dominates. The guacamole, onion, the fajitas, onion, they even put onions in the fucking corn!

For God’s sake, Chipotle chill out with the onion.

The Bottom Line:

Smoother than Chipotle’s old queso, but still the weakest menu item by a significant amount. It’s not even worth tasting for curiosity’s sake.

Find your nearest Chipotle here.

Dairy Queen — Pretzel Sticks with Zesty Queso

WHY?

The Bottom Line:

I’d like to speak to whoever is ordering this.

Find your nearest Dairy Queen here.

KFC — Mac & Cheese

This one was a hard one because KFC has Pot Pie on the menu and who the f*ck is eating pot pies at KFC? I’ve had it and… it’s not that bad, the Mac & Cheese on the other hand is essentially Kraft. It has that radioactive cheese sludge quality that low-quality Mac has, a one-note salty flavor, and a creamy and sticky mouthfeel that tastes more unappetizing the longer it stays in your mouth.

Seriously this is the worst Mac & Cheese you’ll ever eat and if this is your go-to side at KFC then your tastebuds might be broken. At the very least they’re been burnt off by salt.

The Bottom Line:

KFC’s worst side, and that’s saying something considering they also have coleslaw.

Find your nearest KFC here.

In-N-Out — Fries

This should surprise no one. The fact that In-N-Out’s french fries aren’t good is every In-N-Out hater’s favorite go-to roast. That said, if you’re one of those weird people who always take it upon yourself to say “AcTUaLlY In-N-Out Isn’T ThAt GoOD AnD ThE FriEs ArE TeRrIbLE!” to people after they proclaim their love for the So-Cal burger chain, go get a life you weird party pooper.

In-N-Out is objectively delicious and yeah, the fries are bad, but let me “but actually” you for a second because while these fries taste like cardboard at best and Styrofoam at worst, they’re still not that bad.

We have to give In-N-Out credit for peeling a fry and frying it on-site, Shake Shack would never, and with the right amount of salt and pepper this is arguably one of the better fast food French fries your money can buy. No, they aren’t McDonald’s fries, but they’re natural and there isn’t a secret sprinkling of sugar on them to get you addicted.

In-N-Out’s burger deserves better accompaniment, but you could do a lot worse than this.

The Bottom Line:

It’s In-N-Out’s obvious weak link but there are multiple ways to salvage these fries. Chopped chilies, animal style, salt and pepper, asking for them “lightly fried,” it takes a little creativity but these aren’t nearly as bad as people like to pretend.

Find your nearest In-N-Out here.

Jack In The Box — Jumbo Egg Rolls

It has taken me years of analyzing Jack in the Box’s menu, which is insane, to finally understand that Jack in the Box wants desperately to be a greasy spoon-type establishment. Where else can you get pancakes, teriyaki chicken, cheeseburgers, fish sandwiches, tacos, and thick and creamy milkshakes but at a greasy spoon? Unfortunately, Jack in the Box isn’t good at doing any of those things (aside from milkshakes) but their absolute worst menu item in a sea of bad menu items has to be the Jumbo Egg Rolls.

They look (and taste) like someone threw up an egg roll, and then rolled it up and fried it, and now you’re eating it. It is the foulest fast food creation I’ve ever experienced.

The cabbage, celery, carrot, and onion blend has a sort of dirty and sour flavor to it and the meat is dry on the outside and rubbery on the inside. Jack in the Box claims it’s pork but I’m not completely sure this is even meat.

The Bottom Line:

Jack in the Box has egg rolls! We get it, that’s novel and exciting for a fast food drive-thru, but don’t order them. Even when you’re stoned.

Find your nearest Jack in the Box here.

McDonald’s — Sausage Burrito

McDonald’s Sausage Burrito is an actual insult to the very concept of the burrito. If this was for some reason the only burrito you ever ate, you’d come to the conclusion that burritos aren’t good, because this thing has no redeeming qualities.

The tortilla isn’t steamed on the grill and it tastes chalky and chewy like they just took it out of the package. I’m not expecting fresh tortillas from McDonald’s, but come one, heat it up on the grill to make it more pliable and bring forward the flavors. Even Chipotle heats up their tortillas despite keeping all of their other ingredients at frustratingly lukewarm temperatures.

If all of that wasn’t enough, McDonald’s practically spits in all of our mouths by throwing American cheese into this thing. So here are the flavors you’re getting: the sharpness of McDonald’s onions, dry and funky smelling scrambled eggs, peppers that provide texture but no flavor, dry sausage, and the salty quality of a not-quite-melted slice of American cheese wrapped in a thick tortilla that tastes like flour dustings.

Mmm.

The Bottom Line:

The worst breakfast burrito you’ll ever eat in your life. You couldn’t make a worse burrito with your eyes closed.

Find your nearest McDonald’s here.

Popeyes — Coleslaw

I love Popeyes, I think for the most part the chicken chain does a pretty good-to-great job at everything they make, even the beignets! But this Coleslaw is vile. It’s sour and quite frankly, it smells spoiled. Was I served a bad order of coleslaw? Maybe, but I didn’t stick around to find out. I ate a spoonful, nearly gagged, and had to throw it away.

Popeyes shouldn’t sell this, it’s taking up a menu slot that can be better utilized by something else. Give us a corn cob, a vegetable side, anything else but this.

The Bottom Line:

Disgusting isn’t a strong enough word to describe just how truly bad this is.

Find your nearest Popeyes here.

Rally’s — Fry-Seasoned Monsterella Stix

I know, I know, Rally’s fries are amazing, those new fry-seasoned chicken strips? Love ‘em, chili cheese fries made with these puppies? Forget about it. Delicious. Fast food game-changers, but this batter just doesn’t work with mozzarella cheese.

There is a sickly oily flavor to this thing, the cheap cheese leaks grease into a batter that is too light and doesn’t provide enough crunch, it just tastes like a greasy mess, and not in a good way. It’s kind of a disgrace to mozzarella sticks, it doesn’t really satisfy your craving for fried mozzarella, and it doesn’t live up to the expectations you’ll undoubtedly have if you love Rally’s fries.

The Bottom Line:

In addition to the sin of being called ‘Monsterella Stix,’ these are awful and will only disappoint you.

Find your nearest Rally’s here.

Shake Shack — Fries

I’m not sure why In-N-Out’s fries constantly get shit on when we have these things over at Shake Shack wasting menu space. In-N-Out makes a great cheeseburger, but Shake Shack’s is on another level thanks to its custom Pat LaFrieda meat blend. The Shack has managed to make a gourmet cheeseburger in every sense of the word and deliver it to a fast food hungry audience so call me crazy for expecting the same level of craft when it comes to the fries.

But these might be one of fast food’s worst fries. They’re not so much crispy as they are hard, and while they’re noticeably fluffy, they have no flavor, they just taste like crispy salt. These are frozen fries, which some people swear by because freezing potatoes can cause them to crisp up better, but there is a better way, and it’s in keeping with Shake Shack’s gourmet practices.

Let me help you out Shake Shack because I’m a bit of a French fry expert. First, you peel a potato and chop it up. Then you toss it in a pot of boiling water with a hint of vinegar. The vinegar will help the potato to keep its consistency once it’s boiled.

Once cooled, toss the boiled fries in the oil of your choice and you’ve got a perfectly cooked French fry. It’ll be crispy on the outside and buttery and fluffy on the inside and if you really want to get crazy, you can double fry it for even more crispiness.

The Bottom Line:

It’s hard to f*ck up fries, but Shake Shack has done it.

Find your nearest Shake Shack here.

Taco Bell — Nachos BellGrande

I’m sorry to whoever’s favorite Taco Bell meal is the Nachos BellGrande because I’m sure it’s someone. This is the most low-effort attempt at making nachos I’ve ever eaten, a movie theater couldn’t do worse. On a bed of way-too-thin tortilla chips sits some of Taco Bell’s weird ground meat, which shouldn’t even be legal to sell, a few chunks of pale tomato, a smattering of powdered beans, a dollop of sour cream — which does the flavor no favors — and some globs of nacho cheese.

It tastes like garbage. ‘But how do you know what garbage tastes like?!’ Because I’ve had Taco Bell. There isn’t a single redeeming quality about this dish, and the longer it takes you to eat it, the worse it gets.

It also smells absolutely awful and that smell will transfer over to you for hours after the meal is finished, wafting from multiple orifices.

The Bottom Line:

The worst nachos you will ever eat.

Find your nearest Taco Bell here.

Wendy’s — Jr. Cheeseburger

Wendy’s menu is completely solid. They have tasty breakfast offerings, a great list of sides, delicious chicken sandwiches, mid-tier nuggets, great burgers, and good fries. So finding a weak link in the mighty Wendy’s armor wasn’t easy, until one fateful day we weren’t feeling that hungry and opted for the Junior Cheeseburger in lieu of the quarter-pound Dave’s Single.

Big mistake. What sets Wendy’s apart from a lot of other fast food places is that the chain only uses fresh, non-frozen beef (though this is becoming less novel thanks to fast-casual restaurants) but this beef tastes like it’s from a completely different stock. Dry, spongey, and weirdly nervy, this doesn’t possess any of the decadent salty goodness that the Dave’s Single has, it just tastes cheap.

The Bottom Line:

Never order a Jr. cheeseburger at Wendy’s. We don’t care how good the deal is, it’s not worth it for this cafeteria-quality cheeseburger.

Find your nearest Wendy’s here.

What Have We Missed?

Please let us know in the comments of any other truly awful menu items out there, we’ll taste ’em and maybe even rant about them!

While wheat beers are popular in the spring and summer months, there’s really no wrong time of year to enjoy a standard wheat beer, witbier, hefeweizen, weizenbock, dunkelweizen, lambic, or even a salty, fresh gose. This top-fermented beer style — which technically makes it an ale — has a place in every season. Just ask the Bavarians who still down a half-liter of hefeweizen for breakfast every day.

Chris Collier, the brewer at Biggerstaff Brewing in Atlanta, opts for old-world styles when he’s thirsty for a wheat beer. “It’s hard to go wrong with a traditional unfiltered Belgian witbier or German hefeweizen.”

“Belgian wits are traditionally made with orange peel and coriander resulting in elegant citrus and perfume characteristics, paired with complex spiciness from the Belgian yeast,” Collier explains. “German hefeweizens have a fluffy and bready mouthfeel and a distinctive banana and clove flavor from the unique yeast strain used and fermentation temperatures employed.”

Like most beer styles, wheat beer is rooted in centuries-old traditions. But with so many different variations, there’s sure to be a style that appeals to any contemporary beer drinkers’ palate. To prove it, we asked a handful of well-known craft beer experts, brewers, and beer professionals to tell us the one wheat beer they drink any time of the year. Their answers included a nice mix of classic European and crafty American takes.

Schneider Weiss Original

Greg Deuhs, director of brewing, batching, and quality at Sprecher Brewery in Glendale, Wisconsin

ABV: 5.4%

Average Price: $5 for a 16.9-ounce bottle

Why This Beer?

I like the traditional German wheat beer that has the banana isoamyl taste that also isn’t over-clove-like but has other fruit tastes to them. This flavorful and memorable wheat beer will make you forget what you think about the style.

Westbrook White Thai

Zach Fowle, advanced Cicerone and head of marketing at Arizona Wilderness Brewing Co. in Phoenix

ABV: 5%

Average Price: $13 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

It’s hard to picture a better beer for a warm day than Westbrook White Thai. A witbier by way of Southeast Asia, it’s brewed with lemongrass, ginger root, and Japanese Sorachi Ace hops for spritzy lemon flavor with a hint of ginger spice. Keep it cold and you won’t find many more refreshing beers on the planet.

Paulaner Hefe-Weizen

Dan Lipke, head brewer at Clown Shoes Beer in Boston

ABV: 5.3%

Average Price: $9 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

While I drink it all year long, my favorite time of year to drink hefeweizen is on a sunny spring afternoon. Classic versions like Paulaner’s have aromas of clove and banana, a spritzy mouthfeel that’s reminiscent of summer brews but fuller in body to keep any chillier days at bay.

La Rana Dorada Blanche

Marshall Hendrickson, co-founder and head of brewing operations at Veza Sur Brewing in Miami

ABV: 4.5%

Average Price: Limited Availability

Why This Beer?

La Rana Dorada Blanche is my pick. I worked for La Rana Dorada years ago, and to this day it’s my favorite Belgian-style witbier. The beer has an amazingly smooth mouthfeel from all of the wheat and oats used in the mash. The brewers use freshly dried orange peels in the brew to give it a nice citrusy finish. It’s truly a fantastic beer.

Bell’s Oberon

Nancy Lopetegui, taproom general manager at Wynwood Brewing in Miami

ABV: 5.8%

Average Price: $11 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

It’s hot all year round in Miami and this beer is a perfect thirst-quenching choice. The citrusy, orange zest in this wheat ale is perfect for warm weather and sunshine. It’s only available in the spring, but I’d drink it any time of year.

Allagash White

Ryan Pachmayer, head brewer at Yak and Yeti Brewpub & Restaurant in Arvada, Colorado

ABV: 5.2%

Average Price: $9.50 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Allagash White has a really nice spicy, peppery flavor and a touch of citrus that adds a nice layer of complexity. The flavor depth goes well on colder days, while the lower ABV and dry finish really lend it to a warmer day. That being said, it’s a great choice all year long.

Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat

Todd Bellmyer, head brewer at Wynkoop Brewing Company in Denver

ABV: 4.4%

Average Price: $7.50 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

A craft classic, any time I want a light American wheat beer, I pick up a twelve-pack of Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat. Light in ABV but big in citrus and wheat flavors, it is supremely smooth and crushable. There’s a reason it’s the most popular craft beer in the Midwest.

Creature Comforts Athena

Eddie Leal, head brewer at Ellis Island Casino, Hotel & Brewery in Las Vegas

ABV: 4.5%

Average Price: $12.50 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

One of the best wheat beers to drink all year long is Berliner Weisse. It’s perfect for the warmer weather but still hits the spot on a cooler night. It’s light in alcohol and refreshingly tart. I enjoy adding different flavored syrups to add some sweetness and additional flavors to it. You can enjoy this beer all day long. One of the best American versions is Creature Comforts Athena. This classic take on the German-style beer is tart, lactic, and filled with citrus flavors.

Writer’s Pick: Weihenstaphaner Hefe Weissbier

ABV: 5.4%

Average Price: $10.50 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

Why This Beer:

Germany’s Weihenstephaner is touted as being the oldest brewery in the world with its history dating back to 1040. In almost a thousand years, they’ve had a chance to perfect their beers, especially their Hefe Weissbier. This flavorful beer is filled with notes of ripe fruit, banana, clove, citrus, and slight pepper flavor that pulls everything together.

Writer’s Pick: Funky Buddha Floridian

ABV: 5.2%

Average Price: $10 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

This unfiltered wheat beer was made in the German style. Great on a hot day or literally any time of year, it’s highlighted by flavors like cloves, ripe bananas, bubblegum, and tart citrus. It’s refreshing, complex, and a perfect beer to get acquainted with the style.

Life moves pretty fast. On Sunday, it was reported that Alex Jones, one of America’s loudest conspiracy theorists, was considering some outside-the-box options to deal with the multiple defamation suits over his bogus claims about the Sandy Hook school massacre of 2012. One solution? Simply file for bankruptcy, thus putting payments related to them on pause. And sure enough, that’s what he did.

As per The New York Times, three businesses associated with Jones, including his flagship Infowars, filed for Chapter 11 protection on Sunday. Filing for bankruptcy allows a corporation or partnership the chance to reorganize, keeping the lights on while givng them the chance to pay creditors over a period of time.

The move comes shortly before trials begin that will determine how much Jones must pay six families who’ve accused him of spreading lies about the Sandy Hook shooting. For years, Jones spread false theories claiming the massacre, which resulted in 28 deaths, including that of the perpetrator and his mother, was a “false flag” operation, set up by the U.S. government to confiscate guns.

As a result, families of the victims have found themselves harassed by those who believe Jones’ lies. Parents of one victim have had to move 10 times and now live in hiding. The families who filed the defamation suits claim Jones profited from his falsehoods. Jones has said he hasn’t, but he’s failed to produce sufficient records to bolster that claim.

Last fall, Jones lost two of the defamation suits. He has also been fined for failing to sit at a deposition and for calling out sick during a day he was set to testify, only to get busted recording his show the same day.

(Via NYT)

Jennifer Garner is beloved as an actress and a human being for her genuine relatability. She manages to maintain superstar status while staying seemingly grounded in the real world, which is a tricky balance. From her funny “pretend cooking show” videos to her simple service suggestions any of us can do (such as making cookies for frontline medical workers or making Ziploc bags of essentials to give away to people in need), Garner seems like the kind of person anyone would love to hang out with or be neighbors with.

She’s also someone who has the means to buy pretty much anything she wants, so a gift would have to be pretty special and unique to blow her away. Something thoughtful. Something she couldn’t just go to a store and purchase. Something that she wouldn’t expect.

Something like her childhood celebrity crush dropping in to surprise serenade her.

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In all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, it’s easy to forget that celebrities are just people, most of whom didn’t grow up in the world of the rich and famous. Garner had a “normal” childhood in West Virginia, growing up as a middle child of working parents who took the family to church on Sundays and Garner to ballet class (which she loved). When she decided to become an actress, she had to work as a waitress to make ends meet.

And like most of us, she was starry-eyed about certain celebrities. Born in 1972, Garner is right in the prime Gen X age group where Donny Osmond held practically god-like status. The “Donny & Marie” show was a staple across America, and Donny Osmond was the heartthrob of an entire generation in the late ’70s and early ’80s—including, apparently, Jennifer Garner.

Garner shared a video on Instagram of a pre-birthday surprise in which she’s sitting in a restaurant, holding a phone in one hand, with her other hand over her mouth. Donny Osmond is singing to her for her birthday on a video, and she’s visibly stunned.

What she doesn’t know is that Donny Osmond is there in the restaurant. He walks up behind her and starts singing in real life, and Garner just melts right into her hands.

Watch:

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“My first (pre)birthday surprise was a doozy—the one and only, legend in his own time, object of my childhood adoration and devotion—@donnyosmond showed up to knock my purple socks off,” she wrote. “He took an hour and a half of his day to sit with me, sing my favorites, and to give me a master class on how to be a class act. Thank you, Donny. 💜 Hi, @marieosmond. ☺️ I hope to meet you someday, Debbie. ♥️ ” (Debbie is Donny Osmond’s wife of 44 years.)

The “I’m so hot, can I just take my sweater off” comment is the perfect example of Garner’s genuine relatability. She’s been in award-winning shows, she’s walked the red carpet, she’s been married to celebrities—and yet Donny Osmond joining her for her birthday blew her away.

Garner is all of us in this video, living out a childhood dream she probably never imagined could possibly come true. (Also, how about that singing voice she’s been sitting on? Dang.)

Happy 50th, Jennifer Garner! So happy you got to celebrate another trip around the sun with so much joy.

Madison Cawthorn isn’t as flamboyantly obnoxious as fellow 2021 freshman class GOP members Marjorie Taylor Greene or Lauren Boebert, but he may be more hated. Not only is he unpopular with Democrats, he also recently pissed off his own party for claiming D.C. is a hotbed of cocaine and orgies. Now this: One of his former staffers has complained about him, claiming he’s “just a bad person.”

As per Smoky Mountain News, Lisa Wiggins, one of the North Carolina representative’s former caseworkers and campaign aides, unloaded to the co-founder of a PAC nicknamed Fire Madison Cawthorn.

“He’s a habitual liar and he’s going to say and do anything he can to your face but behind your back he’s completely opposite,” Wiggins said in a leaked recording. “There’s some good stories I have – a lot of good stories.”

Wiggins said she was abruptly fired soon after receiving a warning, though details have not yet been made public. She also said she’d been denied leave when her uncle passed away and her husband had a heart attack the same week, which may have been in violation of Family and Medical Leave Act.

“What he’s done to me was illegal, morally wrong, you name it, it’s been done,” Wheeler said.

Wheeler also alleges that Cawthorn had her close all the district’s offices except for one. “He didn’t have enough caseworkers to man them. He didn’t care, he doesn’t care about his constituents. He does not care,” she said, saying that it was difficult if not impossible for any of his constituents to see him “unless he’s trying to pull some votes and that’s about the only way.”

She also said his remaining office has more liquor containers than water bottles.

“People need to know how this man really is,” Wiggins said. “He’s still got a lot of people fooled.”

A Cawthorn spokesperson called the accusations “verifiably false” and that they “potentially amount to defamation of character.”

(Via Smoky Mountain News)

As it turns out, the “magically delicious” ingredient in the classic sugary cereal Lucky Charms might be poisoning consumers…or at least they think that’s what’s happening. According to The New York Times, the Food and Drug Administration is looking into reports after thousands of consumers claimed they were becoming ill after eating the marshmallow-laden cereal.

On iwaspoisoned.com, a site where users can report and warn others about various food-related illnesses, Lucky Charms have acquired over 3,000 entries involving nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. The FDA also received over 100 submissions to their own site regarding the cereal. The FDA said they will seriously investigate “any reports of possible adulteration of a food that may also cause illnesses or injury.” Many users have reported gastrointestinal issues after eating the cereal, with many reports coming from California.

General Mills also allegedly launched their own investigation, though they had found no evidence that the cereal is the cause of the illness. Andrea Wilson, a spokesperson for the company, insisted they had “not found any evidence of consumer illness linked to the consumption of Lucky Charms.”

Lucky Charms fans have also taken to Twitter to express their concerns. This is not the first time General Mills has been pressured by social media to investigate– everyone remembered where they were when they first heard about the shrimp/cinnamon toast crunch debacle.

“Food safety is our top priority,” Williamson added. “We encourage consumers to please share any concerns directly with General Mills to ensure they can be appropriately addressed.”

We are still waiting on a comment from Lucky the leprechaun. Maybe it’s best to stick to Fruity Pebbles for now.

The Seattle Kraken have had the type of inaugural season one would expect from an expansion franchise, sitting at the bottom of their division with eight games left, but as is always the case for a new franchise, everything is about building towards the future.

The Kraken have gone all-in on trying to build strong ties to the city, and on Monday the team continued that by announcing two new investors into their ownership group: Macklemore and Marshawn Lynch.

The two new minority owners then got to spend a day on the ice, with Marshawn trading in skates for the keys to the zamboni, where he had the time of his life, cutting donuts on the ice and cackling in laughter as he went in circles.

There are few people who have life figured out better than Lynch, who seems to exclusively do things he thinks would be fun, like owning a hockey team and driving around in the zamboni. The excitement in his face when the driver asks if he wants to do donuts is so pure. The surest way to get great video content is to give Marshawn the keys to a vehicle and let him have fun, dating all the way back to his legendary injury cart joyride at Cal.

Two separate rescue operations led to one happy ending for a group of tigers and lions held captive in traveling circuses.

The Bengal tiger family—Messi, Sandro, Mafalda and Gustavo—spent their lives knowing only of a world behind the bars of a metal train carriage, according to Plant Based News. Two of the older tigers had been dropped off (train cage and all) to a local farmer in San Luis, Argentina. The farmer agreed to look after the duo temporarily. But the circus never returned. Both tigers eventually had cubs, and the family of four continued to live in captivity for years.

“The train carriage was filthy with excrements and leftover meat and bones for a long time but fortunately this is not the case anymore,” said FOUR PAWS veterinarian and rescue mission leader Dr. Amir Khalil. FOUR PAWS is a global animal welfare organization dedicated to rescuing domestic and wild animals from inhumane or disastrous conditions.

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The “Train Tigers” now live happily at the LIONSROCK Big Cat Sanctuary in Bethlehem, South Africa, in environments closer to their natural habitat.

No more metal cages, just open air, blue skies and soft grass.

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Meanwhile in France, four lions named Angela, Bellone, Saïda and Louga (who would later earn the nickname “Lions of Lockdown”) had endured a similarly toxic circus life since they were cubs. After being relinquished by their owner, an animal conservation group called Born Free moved the abandoned lions to a three-acre enclosure at the Shamwari Private Game Reserve, also in South Africa. These lions and tigers are practically neighbors.

What a difference Born Free makes!

Our #LionsOfLockdown were cruelly exploited as circus animals, but thanks to you they’re transforming into the lions they should have been at @ShamwariReserve.

It costs £12 a day to care for each one – can you help? ➡️ https://t.co/LWNjPcWMCA pic.twitter.com/vr2MmLpC09

— Born Free Foundation (@BornFreeFDN) March 9, 2022

Born Free manager Catherine Gillson said in a statement, “The journey of our Lions of Lockdown has been long, but hopefully with each day spent with us in the peace of our sanctuary, they will continue to grow from strength to strength. Their re-homing to our Big Cat Sanctuary at Shamwari will allow them to get as close to experiencing the life they were denied for so many years! The sights, sounds and scents of their fellow rescued big cats will heighten their senses immediately as they begin to acclimatise to their new lives. They are now in their forever home in Africa.”

Many wild cats of the world are suffering. There are currently only 23,000 lions remaining in nature, and less than 4,000 tigers. Those alarming numbers aside, felines in the circus are deprived of natural enrichment and subject to flat-out abuse: training through punishment to perform tricks. Is this really necessary for a momentary blip of entertainment? Arguably lackluster entertainment at that. Seeing a tiger jump through a hoop of fire or a lion stand up on its hind legs certainly doesn’t hold a candle to witnessing it in its own environment. Sometimes the most natural things are the most fascinating.

That’s what makes these simultaneous rescue missions so important. We share the planet with some truly majestic creatures, who deserve respect and decency.

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Thank you to organizations like FOUR PAWS and Born Free, who gave the “Train Tigers” and “Lions of Lockdown” a healthy forever home.