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Natasha Lyonne May Have Broken Up With Fred Armisen Because She Wanted A Swimming Pool And He Didn’t

Celebrities are just like us! Even they have to decide between the person they’re dating or having a pool!

Natasha Lyonne apparently refused to settle for someone who opted to live in Los Angeles without a pool. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Lyonne talked about the second season of her Netflix series Russian Doll, which drops on April 20, and her life as a child actress in the 90s. She also explained the truly hilarious and understandable reason why she broke up with Fred Armisen, the Saturday Night Live alum she dated since 2014 and was quarantined with in Los Angeles during the lockdown stage of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Lyonne has since called it quits because she wanted a pool and Armisen did not.

I honestly think we broke up because I wanted a swimming pool. We love each other just about as much as two people can love each other and we’re still talking all the time, but Freddy doesn’t like a swimming pool. It might seem like a mundane reason for a breakup, but during that pandemic, you’ve got to get your laps — I’m like Burt Lancaster in The Swimmer. So, I got myself a house with a pool out in Los Angeles. So that’s the real scandal.

In the meantime, I’ll be wondering what Fred Armisen has against pools that would make him lose Natasha Lyonne over one.

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The Three Biggest Questions In The Nets-Celtics First Round Series

The most highly-anticipated first round series this year is undoubtedly the 2-7 matchup in the East that will pit the Boston Celtics against the Brooklyn Nets, who beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in Tuesday’s play-in to lock in their playoff position.

It’s a fascinating matchup for a number of reasons, including the familiarity of the Celtics with their former teammate turned rival, Kyrie Irving. What makes the series exciting is the known commodities. Kevin Durant and Jayson Tatum are two of the best wing scorers in the world, and watching them go head-to-head is an absolute treat. Jaylen Brown and Kyrie Irving are as good as it gets as second stars, and Marcus Smart will be looking to wreak havoc on the defensive end.

Beyond that, both teams have some questions to answer and here we’ll explore the three questions that will determine the outcome of a series most sportsbooks have as close to a coin flip, with a lack of consensus on which team should be favored.

How will Boston protect the paint without Robert Williams?

Bruce Brown put this question front and center after Brooklyn’s win against Cleveland, saying matter of factly that Williams’ absence will allow the Nets to attack Boston’s other centers and get to the rim — a statement that displeased Kevin Durant.

While Durant knows there’s no reason to provide additional bulletin board material for Boston, Brown is right that the time to get the Celtics is now in the first round when Williams will be out following knee surgery, leaving Boston without its best interior defender. Williams didn’t just anchor one of the NBA’s best defensive units at the rim — his ability to switch and move on the perimeter gave the Celtics a variety of looks they could throw at opponents to keep them on their toes. With Al Horford and Daniel Theis, Boston will likely need to play more drop coverage, which is a dangerous game against the pull-up maestros of Kyrie and KD. If the Celtics do try blitzing or switching with those slower bigs, there will be opportunities to attack them off the dribble with little in the way of rim protection on the back end.

Where Boston can paper over Williams’ absence is less with the players replacing him in the center rotation and more with their terrific wing and perimeter defensive options. Marcus Smart, Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Derrick White, and Grant Williams are all going to need to expend a touch more energy on the defensive end to fight over and through screens, on and off the ball, to stay attached with Irving, Durant, Seth Curry, and Patty Mills. They must prevent their bigs from ending up on islands with some of the best isolation players in the world. The good news is they certainly have the ability to do that, but for Tatum and Brown in particular, how they keep their stamina up to be offensive engines when they have to be constantly engaged on the defensive end will be something to watch, particularly if the series wears on into a Game 6 or Game 7.

Will Ben Simmons return (and what does he look like if he does)?

The Nets reportedly hope to have Ben Simmons make his debut at some point during the first round, with the latest reports pointing to Games 4-6 as the target date for him to be on the court.

How that works in a playoff setting is going to be nothing short of fascinating. The Nets could absolutely use someone with Simmons’ size and speed in this series on the defensive end, because without him, Durant will have to spend a lot of time on Tatum. Brown is arguably the only other Net you could feel comfortable spelling him in that assignment. Simmons would, if physically up to speed, give Brooklyn the chance to matchup much better with Boston’s wings on the defensive end, and also allow the Nets to be less reliant on Brown to be the glue holding their defense together.

On paper, all of this is an improvement for the Nets, but there is still the issue of having Simmons play his first minutes since last June with a brand new team in a playoff setting. That’s not going from 0-60 but more 0-whatever the top speed is on a given vehicle, and for a Brooklyn team already a tad disjointed, adding another piece to figure out how to work with has the potential to gum up the works even more.

Still, for a team that runs as short a rotation as Brooklyn does, having another high-caliber player could be crucial, and if Simmons can simply embrace the role of Brown — just at 6’9 with more juice as a facilitator — then some of that awkwardness can be mitigated. The Nets stars are used to playing with someone lurking in the dunker’s spot and cutting off the ball, and that certainly seems like a great way to ease Simmons into game action, as much as you can do that in playoff basketball. For as unique a player as Simmons is, the Nets usage of Brown gives them a blueprint for the most basic way Simmons can operate as a small-ball big for them.

Where is Kyrie Irving’s stamina level at?

The pacing of this series sets up extremely well for the Nets out of the gates, because the teams will get two days off between Game 1 and Game 2, as well as Game 2 and Game 3. For Irving, who had a lot of stops and starts this season because he couldn’t play home games, he’s still maybe getting his sea legs under him for playing every other day. Having the two-day breaks early should help with his continued conditioning, but it also means the rest of the series from Game 4 on will be played every other night. We saw games this season where Irving was tired on back-to-backs and didn’t have the same lift on his jumper, coming up short over and over, and while there are no back-to-backs in the playoffs, he’s going to be asked to play 40 minutes a night given the Nets short rotation (he played 42 in a sensational effort in the play-in) and how he responds physically if this series goes into deep waters will be something to watch for.

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Russian State TV Pundits Are Losing Their Sh*t Over Ukraine Sinking Their Best Warship

A lot has happened since February 24, 2022, which is the day Vladimir Putin decided to officially wage war with Ukraine. In the weeks since, things haven’t been going so well for the tyrannical Russian president, who is also apparently a victim of his own propaganda machine.

In an attempt to place the blame for his military’s failure on someone—anyone—else’s doorstep, Putin has basically fired everyone even remotely associated with the failed attack. While the Kremlin’s state-run media has reportedly kept its cool and painted a pretty rosy picture of how it’s going for the country, even veteran state TV anchors couldn’t keep their sh*t together when reporting on the sinking of the Moskov, the most prominent warship of their Black Sea fleet.

As The Daily Beast’s Julia Davis tweeted, the fact that the ship was named for the city of Moscow made it particularly difficult for Russians “to swallow” the news, as it literally meant that Kyiv destroyed Moscow.

Russians are so incensed about the loss of their flagship war vessel that some are proposing the only appropriate response is “bombing Kyiv, destroying Ukraine’s railways, and making it impossible for any world leaders to visit in the future.”

Or they could, you know, just admit defeat and go home and let Ukrainians rebuild the parts of their country that you destroyed in an unprovoked attack and let them live in peace?

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Rumors That ASAP Rocky Cheated On Rihanna With Amina Muaddi Are Refuted By Muaddi Herself

Rihanna is famously pregnant with her first child, and it’s with her current partner ASAP Rocky. Though the couple seems to be thriving and happy — so happy that in a recent interview the “Umbrella” singer detailed a road trip that the couple took near the start of their relationship in 2020 that involved tie-dye T-shirts and a “little janky grill I bought from Walmart” — there have been rumors circulating that the pair broke up. This mostly comes from a Twitter thread by influencer Louis Pisano, claiming that Rihanna caught ASAP cheating with shoe designer Amina Muaddi.

Since then, reports have come out debunking this unfounded gossip. A source told Page Six: “They’re fine. It’s not true.” The publication also acquired footage of the couple holding hands as they left a restaurant last week.

Then, Muaddi refuted the accusations herself, writing in an Instagram Story this afternoon: “I’ve always believed that an unfounded lie spread on social media doesn’t deserve any response or clarification, especially one that is so vile. I initially assumed that this fake gossip — fabricated with such malicious intent — would not be taken seriously. […] While Rih is continuing to live her serene, best dressed pregnancy life and I go back to my business — I wish everyone a beautiful Easter weekend!”

Amina Muaddi instagram
@aminamuaddi/Instagram

When Rihanna announced her pregnancy at the end of January, her father expressed excitement for the baby a few days later. He said, “When I got the news, I was so excited and ecstatic. And I’m just hoping it will have ten fingers and ten toes.” He added: “I’m looking for a girl. I already have two grandsons, so I’m looking for a daughter now.”

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All Your Favorite Rich Kids Will Return For ‘Bling Empire’ Season 2 On Netflix Next Month

In times of turmoil, sometimes the best thing to do is watch rich people be rich and forget about your own problems for a bit, and Netflix knows that. Season two of your favorite California socialite reality show Bling Empire will premiere on May 13th, with two new cast members.

Rich Kids of Beverly Hills alum Dorothy Wang will join the season, along with influencer and philanthropist Mimi Morris. Season two will consist of eight 40-minute episodes filled with the best can’t-look-away drama that can only involve the richest models, doctors, and heiresses, naturally.

Wang and Morris will join the cast from season one, which includes model Kevin Taejin Kreider, real estate agent Kane Lim, Dancing With The Stars alum Christine Chiu and her husband Gabirel Chiu, film producer Kelly Mi Li, socialite Anna Shay, denim heiress Cherie Chan, and fashion blogger Jamie Xie.

The official season two synopsis from Netflix:

Los Angeles’s beloved uber-rich Asians are back with even more luxury, glamor and crazy. This season, a romance between Kevin and Kim percolates, Cherie and Jessey’s relationship is questioned, and as Kane and Kevin’s best bud friendship is tested, Beverly Hills’s rivaling queens, Christine and Anna, put a new twist on the art of social warfare. But through it all, the one thing these friends hold dearest to their hearts is their love for each other … and of course, impeccable style.

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Trina And Latto Are Pretty Deadly In Their New Strip Club Anthem, ‘Clap’

Trina really deserves more. The Miami icon has been so good for so long, that it seems as though her consistency gets her overlooked. She’s also well-known for extending her platform to younger female rappers, blessing them with both her encouragement and her cosign. Rappers whose careers she’s helped include City Girls, Kamaiyah, Latto, LightSkinKeisha, Nicki Minaj, Saweetie, and Tokyo Jetz. Fortunately, it seems at least some of the popular ladies she’s assisted remember her help and are willing to return the favor.

On her latest single, “Clap,” Trina reunites with Latto for a frenzied strip club anthem that finds the two rappers playing femme fatale, stressing both their beauty and their danger. I guess you could say that the song’s a warning that looks kill. In her verse, Latto goes from demanding a check for her attention to threatening, “If I reach inside this Birkin, bitch, you better duck.” On the energetic hook, the two encourage their strip club counterparts to make their backsides clap to make that money.

Perhaps having Latto return the cosign can spark a resurgence for Trina, who recently participated in a Verzuz with fellow millennial-era queen Eve. After all, since the pair last worked together, Latto has increased a bunch in standing, including dropping her second album, 777, which debuted at No. 15 on the Billboard 200 led by “Big Energy,” her biggest single to date (No. 3 on the Hot 100).

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Kaley Cuoco Was Almost In ‘Knives Out 2’ And Was ‘Devastated’ When She Found Out She Wasn’t Cast

The Flight Attendant star Kaley Cuoco was so convinced she would be in Knives Out 2 that she packed her bags. In an interview with Glamour, Cuoco admitted that she was so convinced that she would be cast in Rian Johnson’s Knives Out 2 that she had already started packing her bags to head to Greece for the shoot. Unfortunately, Cuoco lost the role to Kate Hudson.

“I was convinced [the part was mine]. I was so convinced that my bags were packed for Greece. And then I didn’t get it. I was so devastated. And I’m not [normally] devastated over roles. I had done chemistry reads, I had done Zooms. And I didn’t get it. I cried and I cried all night long,” Cuoco said. “I mean, I was gutted over that. And that’s when I thought I was on fire, like, I’m for sure getting that. And they were like, ‘No, we’re going to go with Kate.’”

In addition to Hudson, Knives Out 2 stars Daniel Craig, Ethan Hawke, Dave Bautista, Edward Norton, Janelle Monáe, Kathryn Hahn, and Leslie Odom Jr. It will come to Netflix in late 2022. The day after receiving the bad news about Knives Out 2, Cuoco got good news: she was cast in the romantic comedy Meet Cute opposite Saturday Night Live star Pete Davison. “They were like, ‘We have an interesting script.’ And I said, ‘I don’t want to read anything. I suck. No one wants me,’” Cuoco said.

“I was thinking I was hot sh*t: I’m going to be with Daniel Craig. This is amazing,” Cuoco added. “But I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. That’s what it was supposed to be, and Knives is going to be great and Kate’s great. She was supposed to do it and I was supposed to do this. And maybe I’ll get to audition for the third one.”

If you’re reading this, Rian Johnson, please save a spot for Kaley Cuoco in Knives Out 3, which we already know is happening.

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David Lynch Just Launched A $500 Million Transcendental Meditation Program, Because Of Course He Did

Absolute king David Lynch is as committed to saving the planet as he is to publishing a daily weather report. The legendary director has a plan for world peace: a transcendental meditation program for college students worldwide. The $500 million initiative, announced April 14, aims to “establish large groups of peace-creating experts worldwide to diffuse the buildup of political tensions that fuel conflict and warfare,” per a press release. According to the release, transcendental meditation has proven to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression as well as heal trauma.

“We don’t know what tomorrow’s going to bring if we don’t get peace on this planet,” Lynch said in a promotional video shared on his adorably dated website, filming over Zoom in what appears to be his woodworking shop. “This war in Ukraine, people were saying it’s not going to happen, and now it’s happened. People are dying. Cities are being destroyed. Things are very, very precarious. Everybody knows it. Talking, marching, singing. It’s not brought peace.”

The press release explains the plan in more detail:

The peace plan calls for establishing a peace-creating group of 1,000 meditation experts in a college or university in 10 countries. Through their twice-daily meditation practice, these groups of students will reduce stress and develop brain potential in their own lives and, at the same time, produce a powerful influence of coherence and harmony in the collective consciousness of the entire nation.

Lynch has sadly not directed a film in 15 years, but at least he’s doing something good while depriving us of his cinematic glory.

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Pixar’s ‘Turning Red’ Dominated Streaming In March, To The Surprise Of No One

March turned out to be a great month for family movies on streaming. As The Batman dominated theaters, streaming services were overloaded with family-friendly movies like The Adam Project and Turning Red (though not all parents were happy about that one).

According to Neilsen’s streaming data for March 14-20th, Turning Red clocked in 1.67 billion minutes over the week, with The Adam Project closely following behind at 1.33 billion which evens out to about 2 thousand years of people watching Ryan Reynold’s face.

Disney’s smash hit Encanto sat comfortably at number three, with 823 million minutes watched, though half of those minutes were probably spent listening to We Don’t Talk About Bruno. The movie was released last fall and continues to dominate the streaming numbers, both on the actual movie and the soundtrack. Coming in at number four is Liam Neeson’s 2014 thriller A Walk Among The Tombstones which recently hit Netflix, followed by the dog adventure film Rescued By Ruby.

Of course, the most interesting name on the Top 10 would be the animated classic Shrek and Shrek 2, after the latter was added on Netflix last month. As we all know, Shrek will never not be a cultural phenomenon.

Check out the full list below:

1. Turning Red (Disney+), 1.67 billion minutes viewed
2. The Adam Project (Netflix), 1.33 billion
3. Encanto (Disney+), 827 million
4. A Walk Among Tombstones (Netflix), 420 million
5. Rescued by Ruby (Netflix), 306 million
6. Black Crab 2022 (Netflix), 271 million
7. Cheaper by the Dozen 2022 (Disney+), 242 million
8. Shrek (Netflix), 228 million
9. Deep Water (Hulu), 206 million
10. London Has Fallen (Netflix), 199 million

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Drake And Taylor Swift Each Had More Streams Than Every Pre-1980 Song Combined Last Year

Drake is the king of streaming. Even just looking at Spotify numbers, he’s been the platform’s most-streamed artists on three separate years (more times than anybody else) and he was the platform’s most-streamed artist of the 2010s. His popularity continued in 2021: Billboard reports last year, his music had more on-demand audio streams in the US than the combined total streams of every song from before 1980.

Billboard breaks it down:

“Music released in the 1990s generated 60 billion streams in 2021, which translates to 6.07% of streams; music released during the 1980s accounted for 33.84 billion streams, or 3.42%. Music released before then doesn’t even account for a single-digit percentage point: Music from the 1970s scored 3.51 billion streams, or 0.36% of the total; music from the 1960s had 2.64 billion streams, or 0.27%; and 1950s material generated just 212.85 million streams, or 0.02%. (The market share of music released before that is too small to count.) All told, music released before 1980 accounted for 0.6% of 2021 US on-demand streaming – while Drake himself generated 7.91 billion streams, or 0.8%.”

Looking at other data, it would seem Taylor Swift also beat everything pre-1980 last year (in a notably close call), as Billboard previously reported, “Drake racked up nearly 1.9 billion more on-demand audio streams [in the US] than Swift, the country’s second most-streamed artist, who accounted for 0.61% of all on-demand audio streams.”

While the all-time streaming charts tend to favor new music, there is one song from the ’70s that has thrived: Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” is the only song from the decade in the top 100 most-streamed songs on Spotify (and just one of two from before the 2000s, alongside Oasis’ “Wonderwall“). On Spotify’s official 240-song “BILLIONS CLUB” playlist, which collects songs with a billion streams on the platform, Queen has four songs, while Drake has eight. Swift’s sole entry on the playlist is her Zayn collaboration “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.”