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The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE— It’s madness, really

We have discussed this all before on more than one occasion, but it’s relevant again this week and there are very few things I enjoy discussing more, so here we go again. The facts are not in dispute. The Fast & Furious franchise is an objectively chaotic and silly endeavor. They started out stealing DVD players from truckers and now they are launching people into outer space. Felonious street racers work for a secretive government agency that has a bottomless budget to fight cyberterrorists with braids and bowl cuts. John Cena plays Vin Diesel’s secret evil brother. It’s basically like if you gave a vat of LSD-infused protein shakes and $500 million to a daytime soap opera and told them to really explore the limits of their imagination. I love it very much.

But somehow, against truly staggering odds, the actual bonkers action of the franchise might not even be the most chaotic thing about it. That honor, I contend, might go to the title structure of the now 10-film series. I am going to take you on a short ride here. A quarter-mile ride, if you will. We’re going to grapple with letters and numbers and punctuation and Roman numerals. And puns. It’s a lot. As it should be. Here we go. Let’s start at the beginning.

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Straightforward. Simple. Effective. Explains what we’re looking at here. There is speed and anger and it’s all laid out right there in the title. No problems here.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Okay. Okay. I get what we’re shooting for on this one. Numbers in place of words was kind of a thing for a while, and it’s cute because it’s the second film and we got some twos tossed around liberally in there. Again, it’s fine. It’s silly and unnecessary and kind of funny in hindsight, but it’s fine. The real problems are coming, though, some of them caused by the decisions made here. A butterfly flaps its wings. Or revs its engine. Or both. I don’t know. Leave me alone.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

We return to the original title structure, with the “The” out front and the “and” spelled out, but now we add a colon and a “Tokyo Drift.” This is also fine, in part because there’s still an attempt at uniformity — getting back to basics — and in part because just about any movie can be improved by hundreds of percent by adding a “: Tokyo Drift” to the end of its title. Here, look

Casablanca: Tokyo Drift
The Godfather: Tokyo Drift
Alien: Tokyo Drift
Air Bud: Tokyo Drift
Gladiator: Tokyo Drift
Sex and the City: Tokyo Drift

And so on. This is a fun game to play. Get some friends together and get goofy with it this weekend. But, I regret to inform you, this is where things start getting weird.

Fast & Furious (2009)

Some notes:

• No number in the title to let you know where this falls in the franchise
• Incredibly similar to the title structure of the first movie, but now without either “the” and with an ampersand in the middle
• Left Fast & 4ious right there on the table even though the precedent had been set in the second movie

I’m getting upset.

Fast Five (2011)

Okay. We’re back. Kind of. We are kind of back. We’ve got the actual number of the film in the title. We are streamlining and simplifying. We have a structure we can come back to going forward. Fast Six, Fast Seven, and so on. We can build from this. The key is to take these lessons and remember them for the n-…

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

Dammit. Back to the bullet points:

• The ampersand is back
• “Furious” is back
• We swapped from spelling out the numbers to just using the number itself

Madness.

Furious 7 (2015)

[rubs temples]

Here we go:

• Ampersand gone again
• We have a similar title structure to Fast Five, except now we’re using the other word from the original title and we’re not spelling out the number anymore
• The wheels are coming off of this thing entirely

I don’t see how it can possibly g-

The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Jesus Christ, Vin. Look:

• We are introducing a whole new title structure after dancing between various uses of “fast” and “furious” and a number
• The whole thing is based on a pun, with this being the eighth movie and “fate” kind of looking like “F8”
• They left F8 of the Furious right there on the table even though it was sitting straight up and screaming at them

You cannot possibly imagine how angry this makes me.

F9 (2021)

Well, I suppose I respect that they threw in the towel here. No words, no puns, no ampersands. Just one letter and one number. It’s kind of a power move, in a way, like they’re saying, “We don’t even need a word in this one. You guys know what we’re doing.” I can respect it. I think. I also like that it’s the shortest and most simple title in the franchise and it’s a movie where Ludacris and Tyrese go to space in a Pontiac. That’s funny. We are doing better.

Fast X (2023)

For the love of God. Okay:

• We are now introducing Roman numerals as if spelling out some numbers and not spelling out others was not confusing enough
• “Fast” is back as the only word in the title for the first time since Fast Five, over 10 years earlier
• They had Fas10 Your Seatbelts right there staring them in the face and they chose to ignore it

There’s still time to fix this. Please. For me. Either retroactively re-title these to create some order or get even weirder to embrace the chaos fully. Come on. Vin.

VIN.

I am trying to help you, buddy.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — I cannot stop listening to the music from The Flight Attendant

The Flight Attendant is back. This is good news because, as we’ve discussed a few times now, The Flight Attendant was a freaking blast in its first season, just a blast of fizzy and fun murder energy with Kaley Cuoco drinking her way through an international investigation. The second season is somehow even wilder. She’s working with the CIA now! That’s kind of a spoiler, I guess, especially if you haven’t seen the first season, but I promise you won’t see when or how it comes up anyway. Good show.

Another good thing about the show: the music. The whole thing is littered with bouncy drums and tinkly pianos and the soundtrack sets the tone perfectly. This is doubly true of the theme music that plays at the beginning, which I have posted up there. It is so much fun, with its various dinky bonks and plunky plonks bopping around. It matches the energy of the show so well. It’s also fun to plop onto a random playlist you put on while you’re driving around. I know this because I did it a couple weeks ago. Every time it comes on I feel like I’m on a little secret mission, even if I’m just going to, like, Wawa. I like to feel mysterious. I might order a hoagie with my sunglasses on.

It’s important to have fun. I think that’s my point in all of this, to the extent I have one.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Finally, a movie for me

This is a clip from the movie The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. It looks almost exactly like a clip to promote a movie that existed to make me happy. Like, me, personally, Brian, in a way that it almost doesn’t matter if anyone else like this movie. I support and respect this a lot. More movies should do this. Putting a Muppet in the Fast & Furious movies would be a nice start. I mean, look at the description of this sucker.

Unfulfilled and facing financial ruin, actor Nick Cage accepts a $1 million offer to attend a wealthy fan’s birthday party. Things take a wildly unexpected turn when a CIA operative recruits Cage for an unusual mission. Taking on the role of a lifetime, he soon finds himself channeling his most iconic and beloved characters to save himself and his loved ones.

It’s such a good premise and such a blessing that Cage actually agreed to make it. Imagine if you had this idea and wrote it all out and he just wasn’t interested. It doesn’t work the same with any other actor, really. Cage is one of one here. I love that he’s leaning into it. I love that he’s having fun with it. I love that he’s going on talk shows again and being as weird and charming as he can possibly be. He’s a fascinating man. How many people have ever had to return a stolen dinosaur skull to the Mongolian government, you know?

Anyway, the other cool thing about this clip, besides the Cage of it all and the thing where it correctly identifies Paddington 2 as a cinematic masterpiece, is that they gave it directly to this guy to tweet out. You know about this guy, right? He’s been photoshopping Paddington into movies and TV shows every day for over a year now. It’s really just lovely. Here’s a recent one, for example.

To recap, I managed to shove all of the following things into this section:

• Paddington 2
• The thing about Nicolas Cage returning a stolen dinosaur skull to the Mongolian government
• John Wick

I remain relentlessly on-brand. I feel okay about it.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — This is actually from last week but I was off then and didn’t get to shout about it, so, like, here we are

I am just going to assume we all know about the Canadian Maple Syrup Heist. It will upset me a lot if you don’t already know about it. It was all over the news a few years ago. Vanity Fair did a whole longread on it. Netflix devoted an episode of a docuseries to it. I wrote about it so much, in part because it delighted me and in part because there were tons of dudes in it like the one in the screencap up there, which also delighted me. If I had known “maple syrup lawyer” was an option in life, I might actually be using my law degree. Probably not. But maybe.

Anyway, I bring this all up again for two reasons: One, because I really like bringing it up; and two, because last week Amazon announced that they are making a television series inspired by it.

The Fargo-ish story centers on Ruth Clarke, “a tough, supremely competent middle-aged Canadian maple syrup farmer who’s had it with being hemmed in by the polite, bureaucratic conventions native to her country’s identity. Especially now that that very bureaucracy is threatening to take away everything she loves: Her farm, her comatose husband, and her right to manifest destiny. With the help of Remy Bouchard, a pint-sized local blockhead and an aging Mike Byrne, a low-level mobster, Ruth changes her fate—and transforms the future of her community with the theft of millions of dollars’ worth of maple syrup.”

This is great. We need fewer shows about all the tech scammers of the world and more shows about goofballs stealing millions of dollars worth of condiments. I am serious about this. Listen to me. LISTEN TO ME. Ocean’s Eleven but with idiots. That’s a show. That’s kind of this show. It’s a good start.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — Rest in peace, king

Robert Morse passed away this week. That’s a bummer, mostly, because Robert Morse was cool. Most of us knew him as Bert Cooper from Mad Men, the eccentric head of the agency who had wise words for everyone and erotic tentacle art in his office. That scene up there is probably the best-known one involving his character, with good reason. Look at it. Watch it now. It’s wonderful.

It was also a good excuse for him to show off his chops. The man was super talented. Go read the tribute The Hollywood Reporter put up right after his death. Look at this guy.

Morse became a show business sensation with his turn as the ambitious J. Pierrepont Finch, who goes from New York window washer to chairman of the board of the World Wide Wicket Co. in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, based on Shepherd Mead’s best-selling book.

The show, which debuted in October 1961 and ran for more than 1,400 performances through March 1965, collected seven Tonys as well as the 1962 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, with Morse singled out for best actor in a musical.

That’s cool. The dude was at it for like 60 years, singing and dancing and bringing joy to people from the stage or on a screen. You could do a whole lot worse in a lifetime. You couldn’t do a whole lot better, to be perfectly honest.

Also, and this is admittedly a weird transition but I’ve watched that clip up there about 40 times this week and it’s on my mind again, Mad Men was such a weird show sometimes. In the best way. But it was. I think that gets lost in its legacy sometimes, buried under images of dudes in suits drinking liquor at work. Peggy stabbed someone with a long pokey stick. Pete fell down the stairs. There was a whole episode about Roger taking LSD. There was borderline slapstick comedy in there. It was a weird and ambitious show, man.

Also, sometimes there was singing and dancing, probably because, like, if you have an all-time great song and dance man hanging around on the set, why not? There are worse reasons to do cool stuff. Rest In Peace, king.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Brandon:

Brian, I know how much you love heists, because I’ve been on Twitter for at least five minutes. I believe that there aren’t enough heist movies, and not nearly enough good ones. So, I propose to you the following idea that might make us fabulously wealthy:

THE HEIST CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Hollywood likes serialized storytelling, ensemble casts and post-credit sequences. Now, the Dark Universe immediately failed, and took away the chance to see what unhinged movies were waiting down the line, so we’re going to take that chance away- every one of these movies is released in the same calendar year. They’re all released on holidays (we’re sticking to fun holidays, because stealing stuff on, like, Memorial Day seems like the wrong tone), leading to a finale you’ll be pumped about. Start with:

NEW YEAR’S DAY of whatever year: During the Rose Bowl, a teaser drops for the first film, releasing on…

ST. PATRICK’S DAY: Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery reprise their roles as The Boondock Saints. In order to pull of the heist of a lifetime, they’ll wait for the city of Boston to be distracted at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. Co-starring Wilhelm Dafoe, the various detectives and anyone in Hollywood that has a Boston accent in their backpocket and a free day for a cameo. After the heist, and celebration (and the credits), the brothers are alone in the room when they see a mysterious business card. Handwritten on it is “Nice job for the minors. If you want to play in the majors, let me know. Let’s play ball”. They turn over the card, and the golden reflection shows on their faces, as they turn to each other and smile.

FOURTH OF JULY: A merry band of thieves, all played by actors/actresses that have been in big summer blockbusters (this is where you’d use the F&F people), led by Bill Pullman conspire to steal the Hope Diamond, moon rocks, and Dorothy’s ruby slippers from the Smithsonians during the celebration and fireworks. (Someone is legally required to steer an aircraft between fireworks at some point). Post-credits: Pullman relaxes after the heist, when a female voice breaks the silence- “That was very impressive. Perhaps you’d be interested in another opportunity” Pullman stares up at the figure we merely see in shadow as she hands him a card. “We’ll be in touch.” With that, she exits, pausing to toss an empty Pepsi One into a trashcan, and Pullman looks down to see a gold embossed crown on the card and raises his eyebrow.

HALLOWEEN: The goddamn Muppets are going to steal a giant piece of rock candy shaped like a diamond. This one will win all of the Oscars, a Nobel Peace Prize, a Grammy (this one’s a musical, get the Lopez-Andersons and Lin-Manuel in a room) and the Heisman. Cameo by Dick van Dyke as the bad guy Baron Von Monocle (he insists that it’s pronounced Mo-nok-LE, it is not). Post credits: Kermit and Fozzie are counting the rubber chickens when a shadowy man with a vaguely…American? Irish? accent says “Kermit, my friend, the time has come for me to call in that favor.” Kermit looks at Fozzie and gulps.

THANKSGIVING: Cast of people known most for holiday movies come together to steal a piece of art from the Metropolitan Museum of Art during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I’m thinking Will Ferrell or Laura Linney lead this team. Post-credits, the whole team is greeted by a distant voice. “You know, anyone could have done it that way, but where’s the fun? Let me tell you how…I did it” The team looks stunned as the man steps from the shadows. Second post-credits, a helicopter lands near a cabin in the middle of the woods. Someone walks from the chopper to the cabin, and as they enter, a voice from inside says “Look, I don’t care what you want. You’ve done enough to me, ‘kay? I’m done with the law and I’m done with you” The chair turns to reveal a clearly worse-for-wear Denis Leary. The woman replies, “We’d like to make things even for you, just playing for the same team” A man enters behind her, “Well, my tie is off, so it’s a big day. Took longer than 10 years though.” The camera pans up to reveal Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan. “We need you, to pull this one last job” CUT TO BLACK

NEW YEAR’S EVE- The casts of the prior films unite to steal the ball before it can drop. THE HEIST OF A LIFETIME. Seacrest is the villain (just ask STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, HE KNOWS). It’s incredible and everyone loves it, the end…but wait, is that a business card in the ball? TO BE CONTINUED?

This is absolutely, 100% too long for THE RUNDOWN, but I’ve been noodling it over for a while now and it was time to hand over the reins to an expert.

This email accomplishes three important things. One: it is long and thought-out enough that I can just post it without doing any real additional legwork, which I appreciate. Two, it made me laugh a lot at my desk, which I also appreciate. Three, it references one of my favorite tweets ever, and gives me another excuse to post it on the internet.

All in all, just a terrific email. Thank you, Brandon.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Michigan!

Police are investigating the theft of a 7-foot-tall (2.13 meter-tall) metal sasquatch lawn ornament from a home in southern Michigan.

SASQUATCH HEIST

WE GOT A SASQUATCH HEIST

The item crafted from sheet metal was stolen from a home in St. Joseph County’s Park Township on or after March 22, Michigan State Police said.

SHEET METAL

IT WAS A SHEET METAL SASQUATCH

WHICH IS AN INCREDIBLE NAME FOR A HARDCORE BAND

BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT

I MEAN, IT IS, BUT IT’S NOT

SHEET METAL SASQUATCH HEIST

It has a rusty brown color with various sharp edges to resemble the fur of the mythical, ape-like bigfoot.

It appeared the sasquatch was cut away from a steel post with a pair of bolt cutters or a similar instrument, police said.

God, I love this. It was a whole operation. I imagine like six dudes in a warehouse mapping out the whole thing for weeks, complete with test runs and little scale models. I’m picturing The Italian Job, basically, but for the theft of a sheet metal Sasquatch. This has altered my entire week. I must know everything about it.

A white panel van with dark driver- and passenger-side windows was observed parked in the area on March 22, police said.

THEY STAKED IT OUT

THEY HAD A VAN

TO STEAL A SHEET METAL SASQUATCH

I HEREBY DECLARE THEM NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF HILARITY

A VAN

COME ON

It was all of yesterday when we were marveling at Netflix spending $30 million per episode for Stranger Things season four. “Hold my mead,” says Lord of the Rings.

In an article about the cost of the Game of Thrones spinoff series, House of the Dragon (more on that later), Variety confirmed that the first season of Prime Video’s upcoming The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power will be eight episodes long with a budget of $465 million. That’s $58 million PER EPISODE. Two episodes of the Lord of the Rings show will cost more than the entire eight-episode final season of Game of Thrones.

Speaking of Thrones, House of the Dragon has a $20 million/per episode budget. How will it cost less than Stranger Things, despite the numerous dragons flying around? Not to mention all the expensive wigs. “The production insider says HBO is now so adept at these world-building series through years of not just Game of Thrones, but also producing Westworld and His Dark Materials, that the team can make a high-quality series as efficiently and effectively as possible,” Variety reports.

The smallest person can change the course of the future, but only the biggest streaming services can spend gobs of money on adaptations of fantasy novels.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power premieres on Prime Video on September 2, while House of the Dragon debuts on HBO on August 21.

(Via Variety)

As the current Hollywood It Girl Anya Taylor-Joy gears up to play Furiosa in the upcoming Mad Max: Fury Road prequel, many fans have been wondering if she would shave her infamous long blonde locks. While the actress has declined to comment in the past, the movie’s costume designer has given a cryptic answer.

Jenny Beavan, the costume designer for the upcoming movie, says, “She wants to, but George [Miller] doesn’t want her to,” Beavan told Variety. “So I don’t know whether she will or not.” Perhaps she can go the Queen’s Gambit route and wear a ton of wigs?

The movie will be a prequel to 2015’s hit dystopian action film Mad Max: Fury Road which featured Charlize Theron as Furiosa. Theron famously shaved her head for the role, which also starred Tom Hardy post-Dark Knight Rises, but pre-Venom. The movie was the fourth installment in George Miller’s Mad Max franchise, which began in 1979 with Mad Max, starring Mel Gibson as the titular antihero.

Taylor-Joy was cast in 2020 to play a younger version of Furiosa. Miller famously wanted to use CGI to de-age Theron for the film, though after seeing The Irishman, Miller believed that type of technology isn’t quite there yet (probably for the best). Chris Hemsworth and Tom Burke have also been cast in the prequel, which is expected to begin filming this year, with a 2024 release date.

At long last, Rudy Giuliani was unmasked this week on The Masked Singer after his rendition of “Bad To The Bone” (what a set of words that is), and it wasn’t mere 4/20 eye-squinting trickery. Judge Ken Jeong was not having it and walked off the stage in protest after stating that, nope, he definitely wasn’t looking at Robert Duvall.

Can you imagine being put in that position as a judge? And Robin Thicke isn’t enjoying such a good look after reports that he’d walked out didn’t turn out to be true, and yeah, it’s a pickle alright. You think you signed up for some light entertainment, and then the leader of Trump’s Strike Force pops onstage. Not cool! Regardless, Rudy’s performance (if you can call it that) didn’t receive praise from anyone, and via this clip posted by former federal judge Ron Filipkowski, the unofficial Four Seasons Landscaping mascot explained why he took the plunge in the first place.

“I like doing comedy,” Rudy explained while pointing out that he appeared on SNL and The Late Show With David Letterman over the years. He went on to accuse Jeong of “suffering from Late Stage Trump Derangement Syndrome, for which they have not developed a vaccine.” What a joker.

Naturally, Jeong’s refusal to visibly remain on the set with Giuliani said a lot, as did the fact that the former America’s Mayor sowed plenty of Trump-fueled chaos along with the MyPillow guy. And no one is a fan of Giuliani’s “comedy” attempts, it seems, although people do love his inadvertent appearances as the butt of a joke. Lots of Borat and hair-dye jokes surfaced.

It’s also worth noting that Giuliani’s appearance was met with the lowest viewership for this season of The Masked Singer.

AUGUSTA, Ga. – Attending the Masters is a lot like riding through a Cook-Out drive-thru in a Maybach. The whole time you’re in it, you’re aware that something feels off, that you’ll be found out, that there’s a bit of absurdity to the contrast. And yet, it’s that ultimate combination of highbrow and lowbrow that speaks to the entire Masters world, one that has one-percenters standing hours in line for a lawn gnome, gobbling $1.50 white bread and cheese sandwiches, stacking logoed plastic cups to the sky, and putting their business cards in collapsable (yes, still branded) chairs.

To try and explain the Masters at all is daunting. It’s why ESPN still has Wright Thompson dedicating time to vignettes about the sights, sounds, and experience. It’s why CBS makes the entire week a showpiece, moving heaven and earth so Jim Nantz is there, even as he flies straight from the NCAA men’s basketball National Championship. And it’s why pieces like this continue to exist, year in and year out, as first-timers look for ways to capture what they saw both to justify their own existence and because on some level there’s a fierce need to be believed, to prove what you saw was real.

The no-phone rule alone is staggering. If you want to see the action, you have to walk the course. Hospitality Cabins – of which there really aren’t many – aren’t set within view of any particular hole, so CEOs, pop superstars, former NBA players, actors, and yes, even Nick Saban, have to trudge up the hilly terrain and find their vantage points. And with no phones, there’s less of a need to pry or gawk; conversations evolve naturally, and there’s a surreal feeling as you see the same people over and over in an untethered, dream-like serendipitous state that is as carefully crafted as anything else in the Masters mythology.

Everything on the course is a whisper. If you don’t see it happen yourself, you get dispatches from whoever tells the story. An almost hole-in-one; a meltdown on the third hole; a five-putt on 16; the best approach shot you’ll ever see, trust me. The panoramic roars are addicting and infuriating. You want more of them. But not knowing what led to them is its own cosmic joke. At some point, you surrender yourself to the magnolias and the pine straw, to the insanely helpful workers, to the manufactured charm and elegance, and tell yourself you’re part of it. You belong too. Of course, even that is its own myth.

That thrill alone is what keeps people coming back. Many folks admit to it being their eighth or ninth or twentieth Masters. How they got there is its own story. They won the lottery, or their golf coach is a member, or their boss decided to take them. They each have their own tricks and tips to the course, to the concessions, to the pro shop, to parking. And they make mention of how things used to be (dangling their feet in the water on 16), or how they’re the same as they always were.

All that wouldn’t matter if the product wasn’t captivating. The Masters perennially delivers drama and brings out the best in players. Bernhard Langer won the Masters in 1985 and 1993 and celebrated the 40th anniversary of his first time playing at Augusta National by still being in this year’s field. He’s in awe of how it has continued to evolve for players and spectators alike while retaining the attention to detail that has been its calling card for almost 90 years.

“My first time seeing the golf course was a real eye-opener,” Langer told Uproxx. “I had never seen anything like it coming from Europe, and especially from Germany. Our greens were slow and somewhat bumpy. The fairways looked more like semi-rough at times and things like that. And to come here and driving in Magnolia Lane, see the Clubhouse, see the manicured golf course and then putt these greens that are so hilly and undulated and maybe 15 on the stimpmeter [green speed reader], but we’ll never know because they don’t tell us. It’s the only tournament in the world that doesn’t tell us how fast the greens are. Anyway, I had never experienced anything like it or seen anything like it. And I immediately fell in love just with the course and with the opportunity and the challenge to play such a pristine golf course. There wasn’t one blade of grass that seemed to be out of order.”

Langer notes that the course has always changed — not just to “Tiger-proof” it — over the years. But not everything needs changing. Even he makes mention of how great a deal for spectators it is (assuming of course you can find a ticket) once you let go and give yourself to the weekend.

“They do a phenomenal job for the patrons,” Langer adds. “The spectators, when they come here, they get free parking. The food they buy on the course is very cheap compared to any other sporting event of this magnitude, and so are the drinks. They’re really trying to make it a great experience for the people who come here and watch some of the best golfers in the world compete. And I think that’s very unique. I mean, they could charge $10 for a sandwich and $5 for a Coke or water but they don’t. People would pay it because you have a captive audience, like in any other sporting event, but they choose not to. And that’s a wonderful thing.”

Augusta National can afford to keep prices low because of the demand; it’s part of the experience, after all. And the course will do anything to protect that experience, short of buying every house in Augusta. They carefully choose their partners — IBM, AT&T, and Mercedes are all involved in some capacity, but there aren’t brand logos all over everything as you’ll see at just about every other sporting event in America. The Masters logo takes precedence over all else. The partners are more than okay with that.

Mercedes takes a cue from that attention to detail as a throughline for their entire experience (of which I was invited to take part). Guests remarked that even if they’d been to the Masters before in a variety of ways, this was different. The group I was with had access to rented furnished houses a few miles outside Augusta, along with entertainment and food throughout the weekend, any number of luxury vehicles to drive, and shuttle service to the course right down Magnolia Lane. For Mercedes, the 15 years of association with the tournament is a no-brainer, and they’re bringing some of their insights and technology to help modernize the experience, including utilizing electric cars like the EQS to shuttle players and installing electric chargers in parking areas. Their stated goal is to be fully electric by 2030.

The Masters still has a long way to go in hopes of ultimately using its powers for good. Its history isn’t without its blemishes (as Bomani Jones remarked on his HBO show Game Theory), and recent moves like forming a Women’s Amateur are only a start. The most impactful way Augusta National could enact change is locally, in its own backyard. The downtown area is being revitalized through local restauranteurs and business owners, but service workers admit Augusta National is often nowhere to be found.

Augusta, like any city with an industrial past, has a wide disparity in economic prosperity depending on zip code (23.2 percent of the city is below the poverty line as of the 2020 census), the familiar look of hollowed-out buildings along the river (from the city’s past in textiles and ironworks), and its own ugly history of redlining (a history of prejudice in home loans that led to further segregation in America, written in detail in Richard Rothstein’s The Color of Law).

Even on Masters weekend, there’s a sense that there are Two Americas, and Augusta National continuing to buy up all the modest ranch homes along the perimeter isn’t exactly helping. But what’s happened has already happened; what hasn’t happened yet is still a potential outcome. A commitment to infrastructure, education, and sustainability would be a start. As in all community projects, it isn’t about throwing money at the problem, but instead working on root causes and identifying individual inflection points to address with community leaders and residents, from affordable housing to after-school programs.

The Enterprise Mill project is one to look to as a hybrid solution, honoring the city’s heritage through a discovery center, as well as providing event space, offices, and housing. The Frog Hollow restaurant group has focused extensively on Broad St., and on transforming what it means to work, live, and play downtown. No solution is instantaneous; but if Augusta National and its partners committed not only resources but also its members’ and advisors’ considerable know-how and network to the region, there’s no telling how much of an effect it could have long-term.

That would only add to the legend of the Masters, and could yet be its most impactful legacy. The event already makes anyone who attends feel special, and that energy is infectious – if not outright powerful. Everyone should get the chance to feel that way.

“Not once in my life has anyone ever gone, well it was alright,” ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt said during a panel discussion on Saturday about attending the Masters. “I don’t know if I’ve been anywhere that makes people feel the way they feel [here.] It’s almost spiritual in a way.”

Uproxx Sports was invited on a hosted trip through Mercedes for reporting on this piece. However, Mercedes did not review or approve this story in any way. You can find out more about our policy on press trips/hostings here.

Girl In Red became a viral sensation through vulnerable, lo-fi songs about love and heartbreak, like with “I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend” and “We Fell In Love In October.” Her debut album If I Could Make It Go Quiet, though, watched her shift gears into a full-fledged, upbeat pop sound propped up by rich production with the help of Finneas. She also went from crooning to almost rapping, in a Billie Eilish, speak-singing kind of way. This can be heard on “Serotonin,” which she brought to Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night.

Her performance of “Serotonin” retains her simultaneous sass and stress; there’s no shortage of intensity, when she breaks into an anxiety-filled flow: “I get intrusive thoughts / like cutting my hands off / like jumping in front of a bus.” Despite the dark nature of the lyrics, she skips around the stage with charm in an oversized hoodie.

About this song, she told Uproxx: “For that song particularly, I wrote it and I was like, ‘Wow, I had a lot of stuff I had to get out…’ So many people have their own perception of what it’s like dealing with different things. I’ve definitely had the thought of people not validating my experiences, or people not seeing this experience as something that’s song-worthy or whatever.”

Watch her performance of “Serotonin” above.

The Charlotte Hornets will enter the NBA’s coaching carousel. According to Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN, the Hornets have made the decision to fire head coach James Borrego, who has been at the helm of the franchise since 2018.

Despite the fact that the team went 43-39 this season — its third year in a row under which its record has improved under Borrego and the first time since 2015-16 the team has finished with an above-.500 record — Wojnarowski notes that the team’s performance in the play-in tournament each of the last two years could have been responsible for his dismissal. The Hornets lost by 28 to the Indiana Pacers in the play-in last year before falling to the Atlanta Hawks by 29 earlier this month.

A member of the Gregg Popovich coaching tree, Borrego went 138-163 in four years as the head coach of the Hornets. He had previously had one head coaching job during his career, as he spent 30 games as the interim head coach for the Orlando Magic in 2015.

Whomever takes over in Charlotte will inherit a team with gobs of young talent, particularly All-Star guard LaMelo Ball and Miles Bridges, who took a gigantic step forward this past season and is slated for a huge payday in restricted free agency.

When Jeff Bell and Nic Adler came up with their initial concept for a tropical speakeasy at Coachella, they knew it would be fun. They probably never expected it to become one of the most talked-about attractions at the festival for four years running.

Bell and Adler first combined superpowers at Panorama Festival in New York, where they’d created a speakeasy bar much like the East Village’s legendary hole-in-the-wall, PDT Tropicale, which Bell runs in New York City. As Goldenvoice’s director of food and beverage, Adler enhanced the experience by bringing in props, décor, and more visual elements. Most of all, he ensured the place would provide a reprieve from the famously intense Coachella sun. As word got out about the atmosphere and their signature chilled cocktails, the buzz surrounding the pop-up kept spreading.

“We didn’t want to make it exclusive, to where people could read about it but not be able to get in. We wanted it to be something where everybody could go,” Bell explains.

Yet the key to a true “speakeasy” and the oasis’ charm, according to Bell, was keeping it a secret. Or, at least, not advertising it. As a result, no information was published about it on the Coachella website, email newsletter, or in the guide. In other words, the only way to know about it was through word of mouth.

“What’ll happen every year of the festival is, the first Friday is kind of slow, which is fine for us,” Says Bell. “By day two, people start finding it. Then the Goldenvoice executives come by, and some of the super VIPs and artists they know find out about it so they’ll come by. Then those people tell people and those people tell people. By day three, it’s crazy. The second weekend is bonkers.”

Those who’ve found the tropical speakeasy in the past will be surprised to find it in a new location this year. It’s still hidden in plain sight, but this year it’ll be placed near the Palapa check-in, sandwiched between the Mojave and Gobi stages. Those who visit it early will beat the crowds that will inevitably form later in the weekend.

They’ll also be the first to try drinks like the Tropitonic, a daytime refresher with guava, tonic and citrus. For those who want to drink but not get drunk, Life’s a Garden is a swanky non-alcoholic drink akin to a gin and tonic. For an afternoon kick, there’s the Peptalk, which is like a savory Paloma but with red bell peppers. This year, Bell is also unveiling a drink called The Greenlight, packing Absolut Vodka, fresh pressed grapes, apple juice, and mint. And that’s just a few of the drinks on the menu.

“We make great drinks, but it’s the whole experience that puts the excitement on peoples faces when they walk in,” says Bell. “It’s just like PDT in New York: we want to be one of the things people talk about when they leave. If we can be something that people remember, like when people come to Coachella to see Billie Eilish, or some big mega star, we want them to be able to say the music was great and this food thing was great – oh yeah, and we found this secret bar!”

If you grew up in the late ’80s or early ’90s you probably remember all the talk of the ozone layer deteriorating. We traded our Aqua Net cans for the pump hair spray that often left our hair more damp and floppy, than the beautifully coifed waterfall bang teased to the heavens that we were actually going for. We yelled at our parents for not cutting up their plastic six-pack rings because of the sea turtles and their survival. Suddenly, news of the environment and earth’s impending doom was constantly on the news and sneaked into our television shows on Nickelodeon and commercials on MTV. We heard about oil spills and animal extinction, and we were rightfully cautious and outraged.

Today, we still cut our plastic rings before discarding them and opt for the pump sprayer over the aerosol can. We didn’t know then that we were young activists, we only knew we wanted to be good stewards of the planet we inhabited and we were going to drag our parents along with us. The fight for climate change and maintaining a healthy Earth didn’t end in the ’90s. It’s something people are now more intentional about and are working to raise their children in a way that helps to prolong the life of the planet we call home. That’s why I connected with climate activist Shannon Brescher Shea, author of Growing Sustainable Together: Practical resources for raising kind, engaged and resilient children.

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I wanted to know what brought Shannon into climate activism, and how people can involve their children in making a lasting impact on the earth. Shannon was full of insights and ways parents can make small changes to their daily lives and ways they can get involved on a larger scale, joining a growing number of climate and sustainability activists.

Shannon said her activist origin story started in the summer of third grade where she learned about manatees and how they became endangered due to being hit by boats. This prompted her to talk with her class about adopting a manatee. “That was my first, very specific thing I remember falling in love with, and then also wanting to take action at the same time.” After adopting a manatee in third grade, Shannon fell in love with nature and animals, and as she got older, she says, “I came to understand the human impact and how humans and nature are not separate things. What humans do affects nature, but also it affects everybody else too.”

Incorporating the passion she developed as a child into her own parenting and current climate activism is what prompted Shannon to write a parenting book on sustainability. When talking about the importance of incorporating the changes in her book with your own family, the climate activist says, “If we fully embrace these, yes, they can be big changes in our lives and sometimes changes that are kind of radical, but they can also lead to much better quality of life and have it help us have more fulfilled, healthy, and not just physically healthy, but emotionally and mentally healthy parts of life.”

Shannon talks about some children experiencing climate anxiety, which she describes as “this feeling that like climate change is happening and there’s nothing I can do. And the adults are old school. And they betrayed us. They’ve handed us this future that we can’t do anything about.” According to Shannon, there is something we can do about it and it’s something the whole family can be involved in. She says small changes can make a big difference, such as choosing to bike to school or using public transportation to get to work, which reduces your contribution to pollution and also encourages other people to consider following suit.

The important thing to remember, says Shannon, is to not stop at the small things. Composting is a great way to produce less waste, but getting involved in local cleanups of streams and advocating for bicycle lanes are tangible things you can do with your family that make a difference for the environment and the community as a whole. Involve children in climate activism, she says, and “just keep kind of expanding these conversations outward and outward, using very practical, concrete experiences that the kids are having, you can have that much more of an impact and help them think about how you have that ripple effect. Not to cause guilt or to shame, but to show how we’re all connected and how things we do affect other people.”

Climate change continues to occur, and living a sustainable lifestyle can help combat some of the effects humans have on the climate. More and more young people are joining the fight against climate change and families like Shannon’s are helping to make a difference. If you’re unsure on where to start with living a sustainable lifestyle with your family, you can grab Shannon’s book, Growing Sustainable Together, for ideas on how to get started.

Another Will Smith project at Netflix has bit the dust, but this time around, his now-infamous Oscars slap might not be the culprit. According to Bloomberg reporter Lucas Shaw, the streaming giant has “abandoned plans” to make Bright 2, which would’ve seen Smith return to the world of the 2017 Netflix original that dealt with human cops being forced to interact with elves, orcs, and fairies. However, as Shaw notes, Smith assaulting Chris Rock at the Oscars is “unrelated” to Netflix pulling the plug on the Bright sequel.

Shortly after the Oscars incident, Netflix “quietly” moved production of the Smith movie Fast and Loose to the “back burner” in what was seen as a reaction to the headline dominating fiasco. However, Deadpool 2 director David Leitch had reportedly withdrew from the the project a week before The Slap, so it’s difficult to say if Smith smacking Rock played a hand in Netflix pausing development.

For further context to Netflix now abandoning a second Smith project, the streaming company has been in a state of turmoil this week after it reported losing over 200,000 subscribers during the first quarter of 2022, which caused stock prices to fall and at least one of its biggest investors to dump $1.1 billion in shares. There were also reports that Netflix is dropping an astronomical $30 million per episode on Stranger Things 4. All of this raises fair questions about whether or not Netflix is truly concerned about working with Smith or if it simply found a convenient scapegoat to rein in its spending.

(Via Lucas Shaw on Twitter)