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Grimes revealed recently she and Elon Musk had a second child together, a daughter named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk. They used a surrogate this time around, unlike when Grimes gave birth to her and Musk’s first baby, X AE A-XII. Grimes has suggested that pregnancy didn’t go too well for her health-wise and now she says it was “incredibly traumatic.”

In a new interview with Atmos, Grimes said:

“So I recently had a baby and it was incredibly traumatic for me. And the whole time, I was like, ‘I f*cking hate this and this is so f*cked up and there’s not enough information.’ Having a child is one of the few things in the modern era that is just inherently a pretty savage experience. It’s hardcore, you cannot escape the nature of it. It’s just happening. And it actually really re-centered me in the end. I was like, ‘You know what? I’m really glad I did that. I feel really reconnected with nature in an interesting way.’ And it also made me grateful for modernity. We’ve eradicated pain from most parts of existence at this point, and that’s really amazing. I feel like we don’t realize how lucky we are.”

Grimes touched on pregnancy challenges in a recent Vanity Fair interview, noting she couldn’t walk during the last month of her pregnancy, saying, “He was pressing on my nerves, so I kept collapsing. I took a few steps and collapsed. It was kind of scary, because you don’t want to fall a lot when you’re eight months pregnant. So I would just crawl to the bathroom and crawl back or whatever.” She also said of a moment she thought she was dying, “Like, I hemorrhaged. It was scary.”

Elsewhere in the Atmos interview, she discussed Musk (while avoiding using his name), saying that being involved with him has given her the opportunity to be close to history:

“I’m a huge student of history. I’m just obsessed. My dream in life would be to be able to observe or be around events that matter. Again, I don’t want to invoke the names of certain people because I can very easily get sucked into just being a satellite in the story of certain unnamed people. But whether I like it or not, I’ve had this unavoidable association with certain people, and recently I started being like, ‘Why am I thinking about this so negatively?’

At first it really hurt me because it undermined all the things I’d accomplished and turned me into arm candy. And then I started being like, ‘I have a front row seat to the most historic thing that has ever occurred. The Earth was formed, blue and green algae turned into tiny little creatures, and then creatures went onto the land, and then mammals were formed, and then humans were formed, and then civilization happened — colonization of the stars is on the level of the top five craziest things that have happened in our whole universe. And I’m sitting here watching it with the best seat in the house. Why am I denying this out of some perverted sense of feminism?’ So it’s a weird time because everyone keeps telling me, if you refer to it, you’re losing yourself.”

Read the full interview here.

As per tradition, it’s pretty rare that a comedic performance is nominated at the Oscars. Even rarer is a Christmas comedy, which is often overlooked as a piece of real cinema (clearly not enough of the Academy has seen Krampus). But controversial Love Actually director Richard Curtis thinks that that mentality should change.

“I always get very antsy about the fact that Will Ferrell didn’t get nominated for Elf,” the director told reporters at the Oscar Wilde Awards in Los Angeles earlier this week. “But it’s the price you pay, as it were. Comedies tend to make a bit of money, and then you don’t get the prizes.”

Every once in a while, a comedy will snag a Supporting Actress nomination, like with Bridesmaids or Juno, which ended up winning the award for Best Original Screenplay. But Farrell did pretty much act his heart out in the beloved Christmas comedy. Still, it was never recognized by the Academy, since most comedies are left with nothing but a Teen Choice Award nomination if they are lucky.

“I think it’s a real issue that comedy isn’t respected as much… but I do try and push for comedy performances whenever I can,” Curtis added.

Curtis received a nomination for his screenplay for the 1994 romantic comedy, Four Weddings and a Funeral, but the Oscar instead went to Pulp Fiction, obviously. Still, the director makes a good point. Just because someone is eating maple syrup with spaghetti, doesn’t mean they aren’t performing an Oscar-worthy performance!

Nicki Minaj has been more active lately than she has been in a while. After mostly disappearing in the disappointing wake of her 2018 album, Queen, she made sporadic appearances on breakout tracks like Doja Cat’s “Say So” and Tekashi 69’s “Trollz,” but this year, she’s been even more productive, collaborating with Lil Baby on “Do We Have A Problem?” and “Bussin,” as well as Coi Leray on “Blick Blick.” Today, she continued that trend with the release of a new song featuring emerging New York rapper Fivio Foreign, “We Go Up.”

In this instance, Nicki dips into Fivio’s production pool, utilizing a drill beat that highlights a choppy flow from the Queens rapper laden with punchlines dissing an unnamed rival and celebrating her success. There’s nary a mention of bitches being her sons, either — always a plus, because it means Nicki is trying and when that happens she always delivers. Fivey’s verse is also pretty solid, which will certainly help fuel anticipation for his upcoming debut album, B.I.B.L.E. The chemistry here is immaculate; sticking together two New Yorkers, their collaboration crackles with the Big Apple’s natural flair and brash energy.

Nicki’s recent spate of single releases has also fueled speculation that she intends to drop an album soon, but thus far, she has yet to make any announcements to that end. If she does, though, her recent releases are a promising sign of a return to form, which bodes well as the Queen re-enters a rap arena where she’s no longer the only go-to option for the feminine perspective in hip-hop.

Listen to “We Go Up” above, and stay tuned.

During Pau Gasol’s six and a half seasons as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers alongside Kobe Bryant, the star duo led Los Angeles to a pair of championships and three NBA Finals appearances.

The origin for that prosperous run was established the instant Gasol joined the team after he was traded from Memphis in early February 2008. Gasol was recently on The Old Man & the Three podcast, where he talked about his initial conversation with Bryant that set the tone for their partnership.

He said he arrived at the team’s hotel in Washington D.C. around 1 a.m. and Bryant, despite the Lakers playing at noon the next day, was insistent on meeting with Gasol that night.

“He’s like, ‘Look, I’m very happy that you’re here. Let’s acknowledge that. I’m very happy, very excited that you’re here. But let’s go f*cking win — let’s go win a title,’” Gasol recalled. “He hooked me from the very first moment that I landed and were in the same place with the team. And he didn’t wait until the next day to tell me. So, I was like, ‘OK, so this is how it’s done.’”

Gasol’s two-way exploits were vital to Los Angeles’ success during his tenure and it’s clear Bryant made known their intentions from the outset. They were a tremendously talented and impactful pairing together, which began from Day 1.

From the time Draymond Green was in the second or third grade, his grandmother encouraged him to write the Bible verse Isaiah 54:17 on a piece of paper and tuck it into his shoe or sock before basketball games. “No weapon formed against me shall prosper,” the verse reads, and the message from Green’s grandmother was simple.

When you take that court, you stand on that word, she’d tell him.

The ritual helped lay the foundation for Green’s basketball career, one where he’s always derived strength from his shoes by using them as a means of expression and energy. Beginning as a freshman at Michigan State, Green treated his sneakers like a canvas to celebrate parts of his identity. Whether it’s Bible verses to acknowledge his faith, highlighting family members, or simply writing the name of his high school or college, a glance to Green’s feet have long provided a glimpse into his life.

“I like to do things that are authentic to me, things that have meaning,” Green tells Dime. “There’s always a story that can be told behind that sneaker. I think you can take people through your journey with sneakers.”

Green’s progression from a piece of paper to scribbling words of inspiration on his shoes led him to a partnership with Converse in March 2020. Earlier this year, they collaborated on a player edition of the company’s latest release, the BB Shift.

They’re unique to him and remain an extension of the vision his grandmother fostered decades ago. In designing them, Green aims to “to do things that resonate with (him),” which begins with his children.

“No. 1 is involving my kids. I think that’s something that’s obviously near and dear to me,” he says. “That’s super cool for them to come to a game and see their name on the shoe.”

Beyond that, his motives are more ambiguous, though continue to be linked by the theme of authenticity. Anything that carries gravity in his life, both personally and professionally, are considered an option.

Green’s decision to partner with Converse two years ago can, in some capacity, be traced to a single word: swag. It’s a word that constantly arises as he discusses what distinguishes Converse from past brands he’s worn — “it’s definitely the swaggiest brand out now.” Style, he says, is integral to the success of any shoe company.

A reference to Jordan Brand unfolds as Green explains the importance of aesthetics. The brand persists as highly popular and lucrative more than 20 years after Michael Jordan retired. It’s not because contemporary teenagers grew up watching Jordan dominate the hardwood and were enamored with his game. Instead, Green says, it’s “because those sneakers are sick.” To really flourish in the sneaker industry, aura and appearance are vital.

“When you look at Converse as a whole, whether it’s the on-court sneakers over the last few years, whether it’s the off-the-court shoes, it’s just a very swaggy, clean brand,” he says. “That is huge in today’s NBA. Our tunnels are runways. So, I think that’s a huge part of footwear and style.”

Compare today’s NBA to the NBA of 25 years ago and fashion as a mode of individuality is far more prevalent. But in recent years, “guys have found their voice,” Green says. The expansion of vivid, exclusive on-court kicks are, in part, a summation of that. Years ago, the league had strict rules enforcing that the color of sneakers aligned with a team’s uniforms. Those guidelines no longer exist after a change in 2018 now allows players to wear shoes of any color.

Before that amendment, Green, for instance, could only wear red shoes on specific days, like Chinese New Year. In 2022, if he pleases, red could be his color of choice every night. Players across the league have taken advantage of this alteration to help shape their public personas. A brand like Converse nailing the style aspect holds greater weight today than prior decades.

“Guys express themselves through kicks often. Even if that’s just expressing that P.J. Tucker (says), ‘I’m the swaggiest guy on the court.’ That’s how he expresses himself,” Green says. “P.J. Tucker wants you to know he’s the best-dressed player in the NBA. He wants you to know he got the craziest kicks in the NBA. That is him expressing who he is.

“I think that’s a big deal in this league. It’s not like that in all leagues.”

Green’s messaging on his shoes and Player Edition BB Shifts are not his sole outlet for expression. Back in January, the 32-year-old inked a multi-year deal with Turner Sports to appear on Inside the NBA, as well as other Turner Sports programs.

He’s always been reliably candid with the media, both in the basketball insights he shares and the way he aims to help improve media coverage. As he ventures further into this sphere, his “ultimate goal” is to enhance viewers’ knowledge of the sport because he feels misinformation and ignorance are abundant.

“Basketball is a very beautiful game, but if not handled correctly and delicately, it gets screwed up in mass discussions,” he believes. “I think … people can figure out the offensive side a little bit more than they can the defensive side. But people, when watching the game, they don’t have a clue about defense. I think it does a total disservice to the game of basketball as a whole.”

Green is entirely disenchanted by the “distasteful” side of media wired to stir up controversy and produce clickbait. He wants to focus on educating the public to best discern what exactly is happening on the floor at any moment, something he accomplishes every time he provides commentary on Inside. His presence is undoubtedly a boon to basketball fans, and his ability to concisely break down on-court developments is rivaled by few, if any, others around the NBA media landscape.

Whenever his playing career unwinds, a transition into a full-time media role if he so chooses will only further ameliorate discourse and understanding of the game, just as it has with his current gig. By instantly succeeding, while avoiding any of the sensationalized aspects of media, Green knows none of that is needed to produce worthwhile coverage.

“You could have integrity and still do a great job,” he says. “You can do it the right way, you can speak on the game and teach the game. You can be very interesting. You can be critical of guys without trying to destroy a guy. So, I’ve learned that a lot of people in the industry are very distasteful and lack integrity, and it’s totally unnecessary. Ultimately, those that don’t do that, last in this business a long time and those that do, they end up on the outside looking in.”

Given the way Green approaches this job, he seems destined to last for a long, long time — at least whenever he decides he’s done tucking that slip of paper into his sneakers.

James Gunn has been involved with a lot of quality projects, including the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, The Suicide Squad, Slither, and Tromeo and Juliet (it’s good by Troma standards). But he called the upcoming The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special — which is exactly what it sounds like — a career highlight.

“The Holiday Special is the greatest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he told Radio Times. “It’s totally ridiculous, and every day we can’t believe that we’re making it. We all completely love it. It is unlike anything that anyone’s ever seen before. I can’t wait for people to see it. And it’s out pretty soon. You know, it’s out this Christmas.”

Gunn didn’t tease the plot, but we do know that the core Guardians of the Galaxy cast, including Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldaña, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Karen Gillan, and Pom Klementieff, will appear in the special. Will Star-Lord teach Rocket and Groot the meaning of Hanukkah? I hope so!

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special will premiere this December after the release of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever on the film side of the MCU, and the premieres of Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, She Hulk, and Secret Invasion on Disney+. As for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, that’s scheduled to come out on May 5, 2023.

(Via Radio Times)

In January, Cleveland, Ohio rapper Doe Boy returned with the solo mixtape Oh Really. It was 19 tracks with features from Detroit’s 42 Dugg and Babyface Ray, Chicago’s G Herbo, Memphis’ Lil Double O and Moneybagg Yo, Philadelphia’s Lil Uzi Vert, Jacksonville’s Nardo Wick, Compton’s Roddy Ricch, and Louisville rapper Vory. It showed that he was off to a strong start, and now he’s keeping up this momentum with a new song and music video out today called “Wanna See A Dead Body.”

The track is his signature sound of brooding trap, and the video contributes to the eerie atmosphere by giving him dark wings and showing him smashing mirrors. Underneath the video, he commented: “DELUXE????” meaning that an extended version of Oh Really is probably on its way.

In 2020, Doe Boy teamed up with two of the biggest producers in trap music for 56 Birdz with DJ Esco and Demons R Us with Southside after gaining prominence in 2019 with his feature on Future’s “100 Shooters.” When Doe Boy was about to drop 56 Birdz, Future cryptically hyped it up so much on Twitter that fans got excited thinking it was going to be a new Future album. Needless to say, it upset many fans that it wasn’t

Watch the video for “Wanna See A Dead Body” above.

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — Just hear me out

The Oscars are lacking juice. The ceremony is this weekend and the buzz, at least what I’ve seen, is borderline non-existent, outside of small circles of Film Twitter that care a lot about these things. That’s a bummer. I love the Oscars. I love the big spectacle of it all. I love to see all the stars out looking fancy and I love to see the show and I love to have my own little favorites and fight about it.

But even I’m struggling to get jazzed about it this year. Lots of people have lots of bad ideas about how to make it all exciting again. Some people want to create whole new categories to give awards to big-budget action movies, in the hopes that your average Jimmy Comicbook at home will tune in if Spider-man might get a trophy. They’re trying out a thing this year where there are multiple hosts. Instagram influencers are going to be running around the red carpet. None of it is really all that ideal.

But if other people get to toss out bad ideas, then I should get to, too. I love bad ideas. I have lots of them. Just the other day I was telling someone that humans should start hibernating like bears. I think the warning track on baseball fields should be made of trampoline. I think all spoons should be soup spoons. I am a legitimately unwell person.

So… yeah. I can help here. Here are five very good (bad) ideas to fix the Oscars and/or make them more exciting, none of which are “Let the Muppets host,” both because I have pitched that before and because it is a good idea that I am extremely serious about. Okay. Here we go.

Hold the Oscars in a water park

Everyone loves a water park. We can have everyone chill out in a wave pool during the monologue. Nominees go to the tops of water slides and the winner gets to shoot down to collect their trophy, with the losers climbing back down the ladders. Lots of people have funnel cakes. Instead of a red carpet, we have people show up by floating down the lazy river.

The important thing here is that everyone is still in tuxedos and gowns. I will not waiver on this.

Give every nominee a knife as they enter and tell them there’s a loose tiger in the building

Okay. We won’t actually release a tiger. That’s dangerous. Both for the people in attendance and for the tiger. I don’t want to cut to commercial because Olivia Colman has just slashed a tiger’s throat and Nicole Kidman started crying. We don’t need that.

But we will tell them we’ve released a tiger. Just to keep everyone on their toes. We pump in a tiger growl every now and then, maybe a shadow or two with some lighting magic. I want to see stars giving acceptance speeches with a trophy in one hand and a knife in the other, all jumpy like “I’d like to thank mWHAT WAS THAT NOISE?” That would be fun.

I feel like at least one person would take this a little too seriously and start trying to find the tiger proactively. I feel like it would be Kristen Stewart and I feel like she would just want to find it to be friends. You can see her riding a tiger. Do not lie to me about this.

Let the hosts curse

Here’s what I’m thinking:

• A second ceremony, on a streaming service or premium cable channel
• Hosted by Tracy Morgan and, like, Adele
• No cue cards

Could work.

The Best Picture winner from the previous year keeps the title unless a new film from the current year defeats it

“And the Oscar for Best Picture goes to… wow. For the 21st consecutive year, it’s Gladiator.”

This would be fun. To be the champ, you have to beat the champ. Rules are rules.

Karaoke

I don’t know. Karaoke is fun. Make the nominees perform between each award. Spin a wheel and have them do whatever song comes up. Benedict Cumberbatch doing “Like a Prayer” by Madonna. Judi Dench doing “Purple Rain.” Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst performing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” Javier Bardem doing “Suspicious Minds.” Denzel Washington doing “Lovefool” by The Cardigans. This is a good idea.

Please feel free to adopt any of all of these for the next ceremony. Combine them. Hold it in a water park and tell everyone a tiger is loose and make them sing. You would watch that. Everyone would watch that. Bingo bango, problem solved. I’m sorry and you are welcome.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — Carrie Coon is the coolest

Carrie Coon rules. We’ve known this for a while now, which we’ll discuss more in a second, but we also have proof in the present. Proof, to be specific, like this tweet.

To be clear, what we have here is as follows: Carrie Coon, in full period regalia on the set of The Gilded Age, sitting on the floor, just wrecking a piece of pizza. I respect this a lot. Both the act of doing it all (please imagine how angry the costume designer would be if Carrie Coon had come to them after lunch with a massive pizza sauce stain on one of the frillier parts of this dress), but also just the element of deciding to post it. More celebrities should go on social media and post pictures of themselves housing pizza. Or anything.

Show me Jonathan Banks on the set of Better Call Saul wolfing down a meatball sub. Show me the entire cast of Euphoria, in costume, tearing through a bucket of crabs. This, to me, would be entertainment. Also, something that is entertainment to me: Carrie Coon dropping a modified “not so different” in this show, too, which I also learned this week. Great week for Carrie Coon.

Anyway, if you’re wondering if this is all leading up to me posting the thing from The Leftovers where her character got a Wu-Tang tattoo and then jumped on a trampoline with Regina King while one of my favorite Wu-Tang songs played, well, wonder no further. Look at this.

And hey, here’s this one, too.

The lessons here are as follows, to recap:

• Carrie Coon is cool
• Pizza is great
• More shows should feature scenes where characters have fun in their backyards while songs I like play

Really hoping to see NoHo Hank throw a barbecue on the new season of Barry, just working a grill while listening to Paul’s Boutique. That would be fun.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Welcome to the snail chat

I have not seen Deep Water yet. I’m sorry. I will. I will. Or maybe I won’t. It’s all up in the air at this point. But I will read lots of things about it, especially if those things are about snails, which, I have learned, play a prominent part in the movie. That’s why it was nice that Entertainment Weekly wrote a whole article about the snails in the movie, complete with stories from the set and background and an interview with a man who is identified as “a snail trainer.” It gets good so fast. I mean, did you expect to read the phrase “handbag full of snails” today? I bet you did not. But the world is unpredictable like that, because you just did and are about to again.

The author of Deep Water, Patricia Highsmith, had a thing for snails.

She did. She was known for carrying around a handbag with a head of lettuce and a hundred snails in it. She would take it to parties and said because she needed some real company.

What do you think it is about snails?

There’s a simplicity to snails that I think appeals to people. It’s not that they’re not complex in their biology, because they can be. But they’re just a straightforward animal. There’s no guile about them. And in the book and in the movie, I hope this came through, the fidelity of these two snails…they were a foil for Ben and Ana’s characters. Even these dumb animals, these very simple animals, without even really brains, as you know, by definition, exhibited the kind of love and fidelity that these humans were seemingly incapable of. The draw of the snails, for Ben’s character, is that it’s almost like peering into a world that he desires and he can’t have.

Which is great. Love some Hollywood snail talk. But I hear you. You want to know how the big stars on this set — Affleck, de Armas — handled the snails. There’s great news on this front. The snail trainer has your inside information all lined up.

How did the actors feel about the snails?

Ben was fantastic to work with. He’s a great listener. And you can tell that when he does his scenes, he will take instructions. He understands them, and usually, he can nail it the first time. He was exceptionally good with my animals. We didn’t lose a single one.

What about Ana?

She did not have to fake her look of revulsion. I don’t know if she hated the snails, but she did not want to touch them. And I was trying to put her at ease. I said, “You know in Knives Out, you were working with Captain America. He’s a lot scarier than these animals.” She said, “I’m not scared of it, I just think they’re gross.” Despite being not okay with the snails, she did a great job too. And the director was just a delight to work with.

There are two points I want to make here before we end our discussion on snails in Hollywood. The first is that I would absolutely watch like a 10-minute behind the scenes thing about these two working with the snails, complete with Ana de Armas scrunching her face up into a disgusted smirk at the mere thought of them and Ben Affleck just casually holding a conversation while letting snails crawl up and down his forearms.

The second thing is that this snail trainer’s name is, I swear to God, Max Anton. Max Anton: Hollywood Snail Trainer. I don’t think you can fathom how much this information altered my week upon learning it. I might not be able to watch the movie at all now. I’ll just be thinking about Max Anton whenever I see the snails. This is a problem. For me.

This has been Snail Chat.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Let’s check in with Vin Diesel

Hey, I wonder what Vin Diesel has been up to latel-…

Good morning planet…

I know I haven’t posted in a minute, when people in the world suffer I tend to pull back from the shallow acts of social media. However, I know there are many of you who really sincerely wait to hear from me and to know where my state of mind lies. I am approaching the finale of the first saga… that is Fast. It is very intense, although god has brought such incredible talent to assist me in completing this mythology, I can’t help but to reminisce… you all have been a part of this journey. You all have been a part of this family. I can’t believe that universal studios is committed to a two part finale… their support and belief in this mythology surprises me and makes me smile. There are angels coming to this mythology that will make you all smile. Haha. I love you all… and I from the bottom of my soul, hope to make you proud.

Three notes here:

• I wish I had one-tenth of the confidence it takes to open a social media post with “Good morning planet”
• This post really teeters into “sorry but thank you” territory before veering back to Fast & Furious hype
• I cannot wait to see what all of this means, especially the thing about “angels coming to this mythology,” considering Han’s death was depicted two separate times with two different spins on it and he still waltzed back into the action with salty snacks in hand in the ninth movie

I hope he literally drives a car to hell and fights the devil. It’s the natural conclusion.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — I want to go to a steakhouse with Nicolas Cage

Did you guys read the big Nicolas Cage profile in GQ yet? I hope so. It’s incredible, just littered with stories and explanations and discussions about, for example, why he made so many movies for a while and how he ended up so deeply in debt. He also goes through this whole explanation about how he’s not crazy and then punctuates it all by saying, and I’m quoting him directly here, “My doctor says I have the liver of a 13-year-old choir boy, you know?” Fascinating, riveting stuff, straight through. I might read it again over lunch.

But I want to focus on one specific part that I don’t think has gotten enough attention in all of this. I want to focus on the knife thing. Please read these paragraphs at once.

“He’s deeply focused,” Unbearable Weight director Tom Gormican said. “He would elliptical from 3 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. every morning and read the rest of the script, and then send me a list of questions, thoughts, notes, and ideas for the day’s scene work.” The movie’s co-writer, Kevin Etten, called him “probably the hardest-working actor I’ve ever witnessed.”

“He goes to time-consuming depths, which you don’t see often as a director,” David Gordon Green said. “With him, it’s like, ‘What do you need, and what are you doing on Sunday? Let’s spend time and let’s talk about it.’ ” Green paused. “And he brings his own knife to the steak house, which I think is very cool. You go out to have a steak with Nick, and he unfolds this amazing hand-carved knife to be his cutlery.”

Okay. Okay. Prior to today, I had not really put a lot of thought into the kind of restaurant I would want to go to for a dinner with Nicolas Cage. If I had, I suspect it would have been some sort of hibachi situation. But now… now I must go to a steakhouse with Nicolas Cage. Any steakhouse. A fancy one, sure, fine, me and Nicolas Cage eating filet off of white tablecloths. But even an Outback will do.

Just imagine the scene. Play it all out in your head. Nicolas Cage sitting down and ordering a massive ribeye. Calling over the waiter and handing the confused teen his steak knife while saying “I won’t be needing this, my good man.” And then pulling out a jet-black case — I’m picturing the kind of case like a flute or saxophone comes in, lined with red felt — and producing the most beautiful knife you’ve ever seen. I bet it cost at least $4,000. I bet it has a snake on the handle. I bet he jams it into the table and lets it sit there standing straight up the whole time instead of laying it down next to his plate.

On second thought… I do not actually want to go to a steakhouse with Nicolas Cage. I’m having too much fun pretending. Can’t risk ruining all of this now. Safety first.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Nick:

My friend and I got into an argument recently and I figured you might be the best person to settle it. Here’s the issue: Who do you think makes a better lasagna, Joe Pesci or Danny DeVito?

I think it’s Pesci. I can see him in the kitchen being intense about chopping ingredients and layering the noodles. I don’t even think he has a recipe. I think he has made it so many times that he does it on the fly now and he doesn’t let anyone else in the kitchen.

My friend thinks it’s Danny DeVito. He says he can’t explain why but he’s sure of it. What do you think? Please tell me I’m right.

What a terrific email. Nick, thank you for this.

Unfortunately… I must side with your friend. His argument — rather, his complete lack of one — is just too convincing. I also like picturing Danny DeVito in the kitchen making a big pan of lasagna. There are no losers here, really, if I’m being honest about, except for all of us everywhere for not already having like 10 seasons of a Celebrity Cookoff show like this sitting on Netflix right now.

I am not joking. Please make this show.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To… uh… a mystery location!

Bidding has ended on an eBay auction for a diamond literally crafted out of ranch dressing – and a lucky person paid $12,550 for the honor of owning the stone.

Excuse me.

Hidden Valley Ranch hired a professional diamond maker to heat-blast its ranch dressing to 2,500 degrees and then crush the resulting charred dressing under 400 tons of pressure. Five months later, voila! The two-carat (carrot? It is for the salad, right?) round brilliant-cut diamond was placed in a 14k white gold band with the engraving HVR LVR: “Hidden Valley Ranch Lover.”

I suppose there are more important elements to this story that I should be focusing on (all of them), but right now I can’t stop thinking about a cowboy cop named Detective Ranch Diamond who moves to the big city and starts riding around on a horse to provide country-style justice to a collection of organized crime figures.

I don’t know why I’m like this. It’s not a bit. Having an actual conversation with me is impossible.

With an opening bid of $310, this swank and unusual diamond ring was sold to raise funds for the charity Feeding America, which helps millions of people having trouble funding their grocery bills. Feeding America has a nationwide network of 200 food banks and 60,000 food pantries; they serve an incredible one out of seven Americans.

I mean… good? I love raising money for charity. That part rules. I just kind of wish I had been there when some guy pitched “what if we make a diamond out of ranch dressing?” at the meeting. It’s funnier if you assume he didn’t even know it was possible. I’m going to be thinking about this a lot.

It’s unknown whether the ring was purchased for use in a marriage proposal, but Hidden Valley Ranch timed the auction to close on March 17, in time for the winner to receive the ring by March 20 – National Proposal Day.

Do yourself a favor here…

Think really hard about what this wedding would look like. The one between the very nice woman and the man who proposed to her with a diamond made out of ranch dressing.

The nice part here is that there are no wrong answers. Anything is possible.

Legendary singer Diana Ross received not one, but two apologies from a pair of very embarrassed Jeopardy! contestants who incorrectly thought the singer is 95 years old. It all went down during a Final Jeopardy! round earlier in the week when host Ken Jennings read the following clue: “In 2021 at age 95, this singer achieved a Guinness World Record for the oldest person to release an album of new material.”

The correct answer is “Who is Tony Bennett?” But that’s not what Karen Johnson and Finn Corrigan went with. According to the New York Post, the contestants both guessed Ross, who for the record is not 95, and has a ways to go until she is. Realizing that they just insulted the singer’s age, Johnson and Corrigan took to Twitter to apologize.

“Deepest apologies to the iconic Diana Ross!” Johnson tweeted. “I didn’t really think you were the answer, but was running out of time and had to put something!”

“Me too!” Corrigan wrote in the replies. “I knew she was not nearly that old but better to write something than nothing. Just glad we’re in this together hahahaha”

In Corrigan and Johnson’s defense, Ross did achieve a Guinness World Record in 1993 for “Most Successful Female Singer of All Time.” So the whole age thing aside, they weren’t entirely wrong for thinking of Ross. As for Tony Bennett, he was just happy to be part of the show. The crooner tweeted a screencap of the Final Jeopardy! clue with the simple caption “Who is… ?”

(Via New York Post)

Can you name the movie that could win the same award at the Oscars and the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards? Here’s a hint: James Corden thrusting in a mouse costume. That’s right, Cinderella is among the nominees for the much-derided fan favorite award at the 2022 Oscars, and it will compete against Space Jam: A New Legacy and Clifford the Big Red Dog for Favorite Movie at the Kids’ Choice Awards.

So it goes for the Oscars, which corrected last year’s mistake of saving Best Actor for last instead of Best Picture with fresh new mistakes. And yet! If the Oscars get more people to watch Drive My Car, The Worst Person in the World, Licorice Pizza, and The Power of the Dog, four of the best movies nominated this year, I can’t stay mad at them.

Unless Cinderella wins.

I can’t predict every nightmare scenario of the fan favorite award, but I can guess the winners for every other category (with three exceptions: Best Live Action Short, Best Documentary Short Subject, and Best Animated Short — I haven’t seen enough of the nominees to make a credible pick). To quote next year’s Best Actor winner, let’s a-go!

Best Visual Effects

Dune
Free Guy
No Time to Die
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Spider-Man: No Way Home

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: Dune

The easy pick here is Spider-Man: No Way Home, the movie that almost singlehandedly “saved” movie theaters in 2021, for better and worse (for better in the short term, for worse in the long term). But come on, have you seen that space worm? Also, Spider-Man 2 Doc Ock looks between than No Way Home Doc Ock. This one’s going to Dune.

Best Film Editing

Don’t Look Up
Dune
King Richard
The Power of the Dog
tick, tick…BOOM!

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: Dune

I don’t think it will win, but Andrew Garfield and Vanessa Hudgens’ manic performance of “Therapy” intercut with Garfield arguing with Alexandra Shipp in tick, tick…BOOM! is a good example of editing in movie musicals; the Bohemian Rhapsody-like cutting in Dear Evan Hansen is not. As for the actual winner, my money’s on Dune (this will be true for a number of technical categories). Editor Joe Walker, who was previously nominated for 12 Years a Slave and Arrival, skillfully weaved together a massive, action-packed story with dream sequences. Not an easy feat. Dune is a famously difficult source material to adapt, but Denis Villeneuve’s vision wasn’t punishing, it was entertaining. That’s partially because of Oscar Isaac’s handsome face, but also due to the editing.

Best Costume Design

Cruella
Cyrano
Dune
Nightmare Alley
West Side Story

Who Will Win: Cruella
Who Should Win: Cruella

The last five winners for Best Costume Design are Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, Little Women, Black Panther, Phantom Thread, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. What do these five films have in common? They either take place decades ago and/or they’re set in a fantasy world. That applies to all five of this year’s nominees, from the 1950s flowing dresses of West Side Story to the desert-ready stillsuits of Dune. But considering Cruella is a movie literally about fashion, it has to (and should) be considered the frontrunner. It’s the closest the Oscars will ever get to acknowledging punk (Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains was robbed).

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Coming 2 America
Cruella
Dune
The Eyes of Tammy Faye
House of Gucci

Who Will Win: The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Who Should Win: House of Gucci

Please let it go to House of Gucci, please let it go to House of Gucci, please let it…

Instead, things are going to get real awkward when it goes to The Eyes of Tammy Faye.

Best Cinematography

Dune
Nightmare Alley
The Power of The Dog
The Tragedy of Macbeth
West Side Story

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: West Side Story

Best Cinematography isn’t as simple as “which film looks the best?” But also: it kind of is? Nightmare Alley’s noir carnival, The Tragedy of Macbeth’s bleak kingdom, West Side Story’s upper Manhattan streets (the best shot of the year?), and The Power of the Dog’s wide-open landscapes are all visual treats, but the American Society of Cinematographers handed its top prize to Dune for a reason. It’s one of the best-looking blockbusters in years, thanks to a unique process from cinematographer Greig Fraser where it was shot in digital, transferred to film, then scanned back into digital.

Best Production Design

Dune
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
The Tragedy of Macbeth
West Side Story

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: The Tragedy of Macbeth

It’s boring to give nearly every technical award to Dune. But this interview with production designer Patrice Vermette, which involves water bottles full of sand, caves, and human-crushing stones, is why Dune looks like a million bucks… plus another $399 million. This would be a good place for Nightmare Alley to play spoiler, though.

Best Sound

Belfast
Dune
No Time to Die
The Power of the Dog
West Side Story

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: Dune

Best Original Song

“Be Alive,” King Richard
“Dos Oroguitos,” Encanto
“Down to Joy,” Belfast
“No Time to Die,” No Time to Die
“Somehow to Do,” Four Good Days

Who Will Win: “No Time to Die”
Who Should Win: “No Time to Die”

Disney has made a lot of dumb decisions over the years (and weeks), but failing to submit “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” for Best Original Song is not one of them. No one, not even Lin-Manuel Miranda, thought it would become the biggest song in the company’s history. That being said, “Dos Oruguitas” is a snooze. So is (with all due respect to Beyoncé) “Be Alive”… and “Somehow You Do” (a song from a movie that does not exist, Four Good Days)… and while “Down to Joy” is pleasant enough, it’s no “No More Lockdown.” Billie Eilish and Finneas will add to their collection for the stirring “No Time to Die,” the second-best Bond theme of the Daniel Craig-era after “Skyfall.”

Best Original Score

Don’t Look Up
Dune
Encanto
Parallel Mothers
The Power of the Dog

Who Will Win: Dune
Who Should Win: Dune

Hans Zimmer’s “BRAAAM” score for Inception might be the most influential score of the 21st century. Other movies have copied it to lesser impact, and soundalikes are in seemingly every trailer. But he didn’t win the Oscar that year; Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross did for the nearly-as-prominent soundtrack to The Social Network. Zimmer, who previously won for 1994’s The Lion King, should be considered the favorite this year for his “music from another world, from another time” accompaniment to Dune. Hans understood the assignment (to give musical life to a desert in space, and not have it sounds like Star Wars). But there’s a chance that Johnny Greenwood could take home the Oscar instead. It wouldn’t make up for him losing for Phantom Thread — and not even being nominated for There Will Be Blood — but his haunting, creaky score for The Power of the Dog is another triumph for the Radiohead guitarist.

Best Documentary Feature

Ascension
Attica
Flee
Summer of Soul
Writing With Fire

Who Will Win: Summer of Soul
Who Should Win: Summer of Soul

Forget Benedict Cumberbatch and Nicole Kidman, Stevie Wonder gave the best performance of 2021 (and 1969). Directed by Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson, Summer of Soul is a remarkable showcase for some of the greatest Black musicians of the 1960s, including Nina Simone, the Staple Singers, and Gladys Knight & the Pips. It succeeds as an informative documentary (there were two successful music festivals in 1969, despite what self-mythologizing boomers might have you believe) and a joyous celebration of the arts. Summer of Soul is simply one of the greatest concert films ever made.

Best Animated Feature

Encanto
Flee
Luca
The Mitchells vs the Machines
Raya and the Last Dragon

Who Will Win: Encanto
Who Should Win: The Mitchells vs the Machines

“We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is the reason people talk about Encanto, less so the movie itself. It’s good, but there are better nominees in the category, like The Mitchells vs the Machines, a frantic and fun gem from Sony Pictures Animation (the same studio behind Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse), and Luca, Pixar’s best movie in years (at least until, some would argue, Turning Red). Flee is also a historic nomination, as it’s the first film in Oscars history to be nominated for Best International Feature Film, Best Animated Feature, and Best Documentary Feature. Bong Joon-ho called Amin Nawabi’s harrowing journey from Afghanistan to Denmark as a refugee “the most moving piece of cinema” he saw in 2021, but this category has never gone to a PG-13-rated film, like Flee. Which brings us back to Encanto. It’s the biggest hit, and the likely winner.

Best International Feature Film

Drive My Car
Flee
The Hand of God
Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom
The Worst Person in the World

Who Will Win: Drive My Car
Who Should Win: Drive My Car or The Worst Person in the World (it’s a tie)

Drive My Car and The Worst Person in the World were two of my three favorite films in 2021 (shout out to my beloved Titane). That makes choosing one over the other a tough choice. Drive My Car is an exquisite three-hour examination on grief that never feels its length; The Worst Person in the World is mandatory viewing for anyone in their 20s and 30s, and anyone else who’s Going Through It. (So, everyone. Everyone should watch The Worst Person in the World.) But I think the Academy tipped its hand by nominating Drive My Car in three other categories, including Best Picture. It’s unlikely to take home the biggest prize of the night, unfortunately, but it will win Best International Feature Film.

Best Adapted Screenplay

CODA
Drive My Car
Dune
The Lost Daughter
The Power of the Dog

Who Will Win: CODA
Who Should Win: Drive My Car

CODA is up for three Oscars. It’s conceivable that it could win all three.

Best Original Screenplay

Belfast
Don’t Look Up
King Richard
Licorice Pizza
The Worst Person in the World

Who Will Win: Licorice Pizza
Who Should Win: The Worst Person in the World

Best Original Screenplay comes down to two writers looking back at their childhoods. Kenneth Branagh’s Belfast, a black-and-white movie about “The Troubles” in Ireland in the late 1960s, is the more “traditional” Oscar pick, but Paul Thomas Anderson’s Licorice Pizza has Bradley Cooper playing eccentric Hollywood producer Jon Peters, and you know how much the Academy loves movies about Hollywood, however indirectly. This is a coin flip, but I’m going with PTA to win his first Oscar after eight previous attempts (and three more nominations this year). Licorice Pizza has a better, funnier, and less twinkly-eyed screenplay than Belfast, which doesn’t necessarily mean anything when it comes to the Oscars. But let me be hopeful (note: my hope is gone if Don’t Look Up wins).

Best Supporting Actress

Jessie Buckley, The Lost Daughter
Ariana DeBose, West Side Story
Judi Dench, Belfast
Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog
Aunjanue Ellis, King Richard

Who Will Win: Ariana DeBose
Who Should Win: Ariana DeBose

As much as it pains me to root against Jessie Buckley, who I haven’t shut up about since seeing her in Wild Rose, this is one of those near-lock categories: Best Supporting Actress deserves to go to Ariana DeBose for West Side Story. She gives the most effortlessly exuberant performance in a movie full of them, but she’s equally powerful when she’s not singing and dancing, like in the tough-to-watch scene in Doc’s near the end of the film. Her win would also be a historical achievement: she and Rita Moreno, who played Anita in 1961’s West Side Story, would be the first pair of actresses to win for portraying the same role in different movies. It’s only happened twice among actors: Marlon Brando (The Godfather) and Robert De Niro (The Godfather: Part II) as Vito Corleone and Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight) and Heath Ledger (Joker) as the Joker.

Best Supporting Actor

Ciarán Hinds, Belfast
Troy Kotsur, CODA
Jesse Plemons, The Power of the Dog
J.K. Simmons, Being the Ricardos
Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog

Who Will Win: Troy Kotsur
Who Should Win: Troy Kotsur

It’s a close race between a rumpled fisherman and a murder-twink (Vin Diesel voice: “The movies”). Kodi Smit-McPhee won the Golden Globe and was considered the frontrunner for months, but Tony Kotsur was the favorite at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, British Academy Film Award, and Critics’ Choice Movie Awards. The CODA star, who is only the second deaf performer to be nominated for an Oscar (the first: his co-star, Marlee Matlin, who won for Children of a Lesser God), was a charming scene-stealer in the coming-of-age movie, and he’s been equally charismatic in his acceptance speeches. If Smit-McPhee wins, The Power of the Dog is a lock for Best Picture. If Kotsur wins, as I think he will, things could get interesting.

Best Actress

Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman, The Lost Daughter
Penelope Cruz, Parallel Mothers
Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos
Kristen Stewart, Spencer

Who Will Win: Jessica Chastain
Who Should Win: Penelope Cruz

This feels like one of the more “well, it has to go to someone, so it could go to anyone” races in recent Best Actress history. Of the five nominated actresses, Kristen Stewart and Penelope Cruz gave the best performances, but Spencer is too esoteric and Parallel Mothers too criminally underseen for either of them to be considered the favorites. That leaves Jessica Chastain, Olivia Colman, and Nicole Kidman. None of the films they (or Stewart and Cruz) were nominated for is up for Best Picture, an Oscars rarity, which likely means the showiest performance will win. That tips the scale toward three-time nominee Chastain, who unlike Colman, Kidman, and Cruz, hasn’t won before. Neither has Stewart, but I’m certain she will eventually, maybe for the Avril Lavigne biopic.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem, Being the Ricardos
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog
Andrew Garfield, tick, tick…BOOM!
Will Smith, King Richard
Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Who Will Win: Will Smith
Who Should Win: Benedict Cumberbatch

I was recently talking to a friend who said that while she thought The Power of the Dog was a good movie, she wasn’t sure if she liked Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance. “It felt like he was in a different movie than everyone else” was her reasoning. That’s exactly why I think he’s so good in The Power of the Dog: his character, Phil Burbank, is putting on a performance for his brother, his sister-in-law, and their creepy kid. Deep down, I don’t think he’s the surly, malicious cowboy that he presents himself to be. He’s an insecure bully who feels lost without his beloved Bronco Henry. It’s a fascinating, towering performance from Cumberbatch… but Will Smith is going to win for the same reason that Martin Scorsese won Best Director for The Departed. Neither film, King Richard or The Departed, is frequently considered to be their best, but they’re good enough to be considered Oscar-worthy, and they’re both overdue. Smith should probably leave out the vomiting after orgasming stuff in the acceptance speech, though.

Best Director

Kenneth Branagh, Belfast
Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car
Paul Thomas Anderson, Licorice Pizza
Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog
Steven Spielberg, West Side Story

Who Will Win: Jane Campion
Who Should Win: Jane Campion

You are probably already aware of the following depressing statistics, but they’re worth repeating: in the 94-year history of the Oscars, only seven women have been nominated for Best Director. Only two (Chloé Zhao for Nomadland and Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker) have won, and only one has been nominated more than once: Jane Campion for The Piano and The Power of the Dog. She’s already won Best Director at the Golden Globes and Outstanding Directing – Feature Film at the Directors Guild of America Awards for her simmering Western about masculinity that gets better and more revealing with every viewing. On Sunday, she’ll join Zhao and Bigelow.

Best Picture

Belfast
CODA
Don’t Look Up
Drive My Car
Dune
King Richard
Licorice Pizza
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
West Side Story

Who Will Win: The Power of the Dog (or CODA, idk!)
Who Should Win: Drive My Car

Not to go all analytical on you (I’m sorry in advance), but Best Picture could come down to math. The Oscars’ top prize is decided by ranked choice voting, where rather than voting for only one movie, Academy voters declare their preferences in order, from their favorite to their least favorite of the nominees. Let’s say, for instance, you have 10 voters and four of them have The Power of the Dog in the top slot on the ballot (if any film gets more than 50 percent of #1 votes, it automatically wins; that will not happen this year, or most years). That sounds promising for Jane Campion being on stage at the end of the night, but if six voters have The Power of the Dog in the bottom half of the top-10 and CODA in the second slot, CODA could pull an upset. (Again, sorry for the math.)

The preferential ballot is handy for heart-warming films that maybe aren’t the “best picture,” but most voters really like. And It’s hard to not like CODA, despite what the internet (OK, mostly Twitter) wants you to think. The words “lovely” and “inspiring” and “fuzzy” come up a lot when reading about CODA, whereas some voters consider The Power of the Dog to be too “cold.” They would be wrong, which is why democracy simply doesn’t work.

A month ago, I was convinced that The Power of the Dog — my third favorite of the nominees, behind Drive My Car and Dune — would easily take Best Picture. But then CODA (which I also enjoyed) won the top prize at the Producers Guild of America Awards, which uses the same ballot system as the Oscars, and now I’m not sure.

The Power of the Dog, the prestige pick, and CODA, the crowd-pleaser, reminds me (and others) of the 2018 Oscars, when the odds-on favorite Roma faced a late surge from Green Book, which ended up winning. Could the same thing happen this year? I don’t think it will, but it will be close.