Gather ’round, a capella geeks: your time to shine is almost here. The long-awaited Pitch Perfect spinoff show has added some more core members to its cast, including Sarah Hyland, Jameela Jamil, and Lera Abova. The crew will join Adam Devine and Flula Blorg, who are both reprising their roles from the hit musical franchise.
The series will follow Devine’s character Bumper Allen (yeah, that’s the character’s real name) as he moves to Germany to pursue his music career when one of his songs unexpectedly becomes a hit in Berlin. He will be joined by Blorg’s character Piëter Krämer who was first introduced in 2015’s Pitch Perfect 2.
Modern Family alum Sarah Hyland will star as the duo’s assistant who also has a hidden songwriting talent. Hyland and Devine also played love interests in the long-running family sitcom. Jamil, who rose to fame on NBC’s The Good Place will star as Krämer’s ex-girlfriend Gisela, a German pop-star with a competitive side. Abova will star as Krämer’s sister, an up-and-coming Berlin DJ.
The series will be produced by Elizabeth Banks, who produced the original three Pitch Perfect movies, which starred Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Brittany Snow, Ben Platt, and Skyler Astin. Banks also directed the second film. The franchise followed the Barden Bellas, a university a capella group of misfits. Hopefully one of them will make a cameo to reprise their infamous “Since U Been Gone” cover.
In terms of scenes where someone has to pick leeches off another person’s body, it’s tough to top Stand by Me (no offense, Anacondas 2). But The Lost City of D is going to try. Paramount has released a clip from the adventure-comedy where Sandra Bullock, playing a romance novelist who is kidnapped by an eccentric billionaire who wants her to take him to the treasure from one of her books (happens), removes leeches from her cover model. The would-be Fabio is portrayed by Channing Tatum, who described what it’s like to have an Oscar winner pick blood-sucking worms off his naked body.
“Walking to set with a bunch of leeches super-glued to my butt and not having met everybody and just kinda being like, ‘OK, I’m gonna be butt-naked, my name’s Chan today. This is just what it is.’ And then not only that, but to have Sandra Bullock have, like, a two-page monologue with, uh, a certain part of my body,” he said in the video above.
Paramount
Tatum’s “front area,” as co-director Adam Nee referred to it, was protected by a sock, but “there was no weirdness,” Bullock said. “You would think that there would be weirdness, but because he was so chill about it, he dropped everything and I spoke to it.” It’s worth mentioning that this happened on day two of filming. Acting is a very weird profession.
The Lost City (really shouldn’t have dropped the “of D”) comes out on March 25.
In general, your neighborhood bartender likely isn’t spending a ton of time judging you and your alcohol preferences. They have more important things to do than wonder why you’d order a shot of Fireball. They have other patrons to worry about, drinks to mix, and various other jobs grabbing for their attention. But if you order a cocktail with a spirit they enjoy as the base or neat dram, there’s a chance they’ll say something like “great pick” or “good choice” and sometimes even mean it.
“Bourbon has such a range of flavors and textures, and introducing people to different profiles is one of my favorite things to do,” says Heather Buelna, head bartender at Sun Outdoors San Diego Bay in San Diego. “If people are ordering on their own, I always give a little nod to people that order things like Angel’s Envy, Four Roses Single Barrel, and Basil Hayden’s. Each represents a slightly more sophisticated profile of vanillas, spice, and sweetness and I always appreciate when people appreciate these offerings.”
This week, we asked a few well-known bartenders to tell us their pick for the one bourbon a guest ordered that made them say “good pick.” Keep scrolling to see them all.
If someone orders Stagg Jr. at the bar, I know they mean business. Sitting at somewhere around 130 proof, depending on the batch, this uncut and unfiltered bourbon has some beautiful notes of cherry and rich chocolate with hints of spice. Definitely one that lingers on the palate a bit, this is a bourbon that’s not for the faint of heart.
Breckenridge Bourbon from Colorado is known as being the world’s highest distillery because of its altitude on the mountain. It is a high rye bourbon aged for three-plus years. You’ll notice flavors and aromas of butterscotch, apple, brown sugar, vanilla, and of course pepper and spice. Easy to drink neat or on the rocks, this bourbon clocks in at 43 percent ABV. This “good pick” with all its enjoyability will only set you back at about $40.
Weller Antique 107
Buffalo Trace
Joshua Scheid, beverage manager at REX at The Royal in Philadelphia
I’m really digging Weller bourbon lately. It’s a wheated bourbon, which lends a slightly different kind of sweetness than you typically find in bourbons. If you’re going to order one, make it Weller Antique 107 with its notes of soft, sweet, fruity, and vanilla flavor.
Chicken Cock
Chicken Cock
Amanda Phelps, beverage operations supervisor at Frannie & The Fox in Charleston, South Carolina
Knob Creek 9 is always a good pick in my book. It pairs well with cocktails and is great on its own. It has a subtle oaky flavor which I like to enhance with a solid smoking technique.
Every time I get an order for Garrison Brothers Small Batch, it just feels like the right call. The flavor notes have something for everyone. There is the sweetness from the white corn and red winter wheat, the right amount of heat from a 94 proof bottling, and perfect barrel flavors too.
Woodford Reserve Bourbon is made by Master Distiller Chris Morris and rising whiskey superstar Assistant Master Distiller Elizabeth McCall. The whiskey is mellow, sweet, and perfect.
Maker’s Mark is my pick. Overall, it’s a very tasty and smooth bourbon. The caramel and vanilla notes make this bourbon perfect for a good old-school old fashioned.
Widow Jane 10
Widow Jane
Subhash Sankar, head mixologist at Alaia Belize in San Pedro Town, Belize
Widow Jane meticulously sources its favorite bourbons from Kentucky. The distillery’s signature 10-year-old bourbon presents a nose of nutmeg, cream, vanilla, a dash of cinnamon, and a palate that flirts with maple syrup, almond, orange, and cherry. It’s straightforward, flavorful, not heavy-handed, and terrific neat.
Old Bardstown
Old Bardstown
Charles Bement, sommelier and beverage director of B. Hospitality in Chicago
This bourbon, produced by the Willett Distillery, teeters on that perfect balance of being a sipping whiskey and a mixing whiskey. It has a great body that gives it that heft to power through in a cocktail but enough complexity to stand on its own as a sipping bourbon.
Guests who order Basil Hayden always makes me say “good choice.” These people know that a good bourbon does not have to be an expensive one. Its exceptional smooth finish and the vanilla accents makes this bourbon a “good pick.”
Orphan Barrel Rhetoric 25
Orphan Barrel
Christopher Devern, lead bartender at Red Owl Tavern in Philadelphia
Orphan Barrel Rhetoric 25 is a special bourbon on our back bar at the Red Owl. I sell a few pours a year. It is pricy but it is a 25-year-old bourbon. Tasting notes include cacao, cinnamon, nutmeg, toasted oak, vanilla, and a savory long finish.
Buffalo Trace
Buffalo Trace
Samantha Seltzer, beverage and service manager at Royal Boucherie in Philadelphia
Buffalo Trace is a great pick. You cannot find a better bourbon for the price point. It mixes beautifully in a cocktail and sips like a dream neat or with a cube.
Four Roses Small Batch
Four Roses
Annie Pierce, bartender and co-owner of Law Bird Bar in Columbus, Ohio
Four Roses Small Batch isn’t the sexiest bottle, but damn if it isn’t delicious on its own or in any type of cocktail. It’s definitely a bang for your buck bourbon.
Michter’s US-1 Small Batch Bourbon
Michter
Rob Krueger, bartender at Bar CHRYSTIE in New York City
There are many great everyday bourbons, but Michter’s US-1 is a standout for me, and ordering it is a marker of an educated drinker. It’s got a little more oomph at 91.4 proof so it holds up over ice. It has a caramel sweetness and rich stone fruit flavors balanced with vanilla and oak. It’s smooth and plump and just delicious. It tastes like the barrel didn’t just age it but loved it and cared for it.
Lost Republic
Lost Republic
Ron Manlapid, bartender and mixologist at Menlo Tavern in Menlo Park, California
Lost Republic is my pick. This straight bourbon whiskey is a Northern California local and is not well known outside of our area. Guests love discovering the maple and cinnamon notes on this hidden gem of a bourbon.
Much has been made of the role that Kyrie Irving‘s refusal to get the COVID-19 vaccine may have played in James Harden‘s tenure with the Brooklyn Nets coming to an end. While Harden has said this played a “very minimal” role in his decision, a new report indicates that the current Philadelphia 76ers star was concerned about Irving’s potential availability in one particular postseason matchup.
According to Ian Begley of SNY, Harden had some worries about Brooklyn drawing the Toronto Raptors in a playoff series. Irving is not able to go to Toronto due to Canada’s regulations regarding the vaccine, and per Begley, “the prospect of playing the Raptors in the postseason was one of the reasons James Harden was concerned about Irving’s vaccine status earlier in the season.”
It’s a concern that could end up playing out — Toronto currently has the 7-seed in the Eastern Conference while Brooklyn sits in eighth, meaning the two teams would play one another in the play-in tournament in Toronto. That is the worst-case scenario for the Nets with regards to Irving’s availability, because if they lost that game, they’d host the winner of the 9/10 game. And while New York City mayor Eric Adams rolled back the city’s vaccine mandate on Friday, it still exists for a collection of workers that contains Irving.
“He has decided to keep vaccine mandates for city workers and for employees at private companies who are working in person,” per this NYT article.
That means Nets guard Kyrie Irving is still sidelined for games in Brooklyn/Manhattan. (1/X) https://t.co/cJMXagLxxR
Brooklyn currently sits three games behind Toronto for the 7-seed in the Eastern Conference and five games behind the Cleveland Cavaliers for the 6-seed, which would give them an automatic berth in the postseason. As for their ability to make the play-in, the team did get a boost on Thursday night when Kevin Durant returned from injury, but the currently find themselves 2.5 games of the Washington Wizards and the 11-seed.
Fans have been waiting for years to hear any news about the latest season of FX’s bizarrely perfect Atlanta starring Donald Glover, and the time has almost come. Season three of the highly-anticipated series will premiere on March 24th on FX. If you don’t have FX (or you’re busy that day) the episodes will be up on Hulu the next day.
Season three and season four will air later this year, with the fourth season wrapping up the series for good. The two seasons were shot back to back last summer, and they will air in the same way, with season three beginning later this month, and the fourth and final season later this fall.
“After a four-year absence, we’re graced with the return of Atlanta. Donald Glover and his team have shot the final two seasons of the series,” FX chairman John Landgraf said earlier this year. “The fourth and final season is slated to debut in the same manner in the fall. The new season is everything you’d expect from Atlanta – which is to say expect the unexpected. Sit back and enjoy the trip.
Season three takes place in Europe, as the main crew navigates their new surroundings in a place that is very different than Atlanta. The last episode was nearly four years ago in 2018, so there is a lot to catch up on.
Grohl was asked about working with Gallagher on the latter’s new song “Everything’s Electric” and said, “Well, unfortunately we didn’t do it in person but I love being in the same room as Liam. It’s like putting a f*cking quarter in a jukebox and just turning it up with that guy. It’s f*cking great. Obviously, he’s an amazing singer and he’s a f*cking rock star. He is one of the few last remaining rock stars.”
He continued, “He was making a song [‘Everything’s Electric’] with the producer Greg Kurstin and they needed a beat, which I think was described as something [Beastie Boys’] ‘Sabotage’-esque, and so I f*cking served it up. I served up the beats. And the f*cking single turned out great. I love that song, I honestly do. I was dancing to it the other night.”
Now, Gallagher has caught wind of Grohl’s quote, as a fan asked him on Twitter, “LG, how does it feel to be named one of the ‘last remaining rock stars’ by David Grohl?” Gallagher replied, “He’s correct the rest of them are usless.”
Of course, Gallagher frequently takes to Twitter in an entertaining fashion, like last year when he mixed up (intentionally, perhaps) Greta Van Fleet with Greta Thunberg.
Hello and welcome to the realization that we’re into the third month of the year and overloaded with pop culture happenings.
Thankfully, we’ve got the latest episode of Culture Quick Bites and host Drew Dorsey to remind us of a couple of recent stories and a few bits that are on the way.
Fans of green food coloring rejoice — St. Patrick’s Day is coming up in the middle of the month to make you worry about whether or not all that dye is actually good for our lakes and rivers. Also, the always amazing Dolly Parton continues to be the most wonderful person to ever touch… well, anything she decides to try doing. Bridgerton season two is coming in hot to Netflix at the end of the month! (Though Regé-Jean Page isn’t there anymore, so not THAT hot!)
All that, Drew’s optimistic horoscope for Pisces season (with a reminder that no matter how positive, we’ll all still have to pay our bills, even if they somehow send them in rip-proof paper), a Gaga-less Oscars, and more in this latest episode of Culture Quick Bites, which you can click and watch above.
Just when you thought you could avoid ads forever via streaming, Disney+ has decided to add an ad-supported subscription tier. Let’s be honest though, we didn’t really think an ad-free Disney streaming service could last forever.
Disney+ announced that the ad-supported version will be launched in late 2022 in the US, and next year globally. The new tier will be cheaper than its current ad-free model. Kareem Daniel, chairman of Disney Media and Entertainment Distribution, said in a statement:
Expanding access to Disney+ to a broader audience at a lower price point is a win for everyone – consumers, advertisers, and our storytellers. More consumers will be able to access our amazing content. Advertisers will be able to reach a wider audience, and our storytellers will be able to share their incredible work with more fans and families
No prices or rollout dates have been announced at this time, though the current Disney+ price is a pretty moderate $7.99 a month. Of course, that doesn’t include certain new releases, which is a whole other conversation. The service launched in 2019 and boasts nearly 43 million subscribers in the US alone, with over 40 million internationally. The service has a target of 230 million subscribers by the year 2024.
The announcement comes after Disney announced it would include more “mature content” including older Marvel titles. The service will also launch parental controls, so you can shield your children’s eyes from the horrors of Ryan Reynolds.
Pandas aren’t real. They can’t be. There’s no way this big, bumbly black-and-white bear that somersaults down hills and noshes on bamboo all day long actually exists.
Have you ever seen any other animal on Earth that looks remotely like a panda? No, you haven’t. Why? Because they’re not real. No animal could be that adorable and hilarious and stuffed-animal-like in real life.
I kid, of course. Kind of. Pandas are just the cutest goofballs in nature. They barely look real when you just see them in still shots, but when you see them in action, it’s just silly shenanigan after silly shenanigan.
I mean, look at this:
Wondering how does this species survive in the wild..pic.twitter.com/p64xFrh08b
Seriously, how do these creatures survive in the wild?
There are some hilarious theories. Twitter user “Art McFall” shares the idea that they simply aren’t real. “They’re actors in suits, originally created as a prank for a World’s Fair in 1908,” they wrote. “It’s got out of hand and now the Chinese government run a school where 1,000 panda artists train and are then sent around the world as covert animal ambassadors for China.”
They’re not real animals. They’re actors in suits, originally created as a prank for a World’s Fair in 1908, it’s got out of hand and now the Chinese Government run a school where 1,000 panda artists train and are then sent around the world as covert animal ambassadors for China.
Okay, but if you go back and watch those videos again picturing people in panda suits, it doesn’t seem too far-fetched.
Some shared a theory that they’re basically stoned all the time—that the bamboo they eat has some kind of effect on their energy. (Pandas are mostly vegetarian, with almost all of their diet coming from bamboo. It doesn’t give them food poisoning as is posited below, and in fact digests almost like meat for them. But it does take a really long time to eat enough of it to sustain their huge bods, so they spend a lot of time sitting around looking like they’ve got the munchies.)
They arent supposed to est bamboo, they are built to est meat just as any normal bear, but for some reason they just eat bamboo, it makes them letargic because they are literally dealing with food poisoning on a daily basis
Did you know that pandas will sometimes climb trees backwards, hind feet first, until they’re in a full handstand so they can whizz higher up on the tree to mark their scent? Yup. (They also poo up to 40 times a day. So no, you really don’t want a pet panda. Sorry.)
Scientists aren’t totally sure why they’re black-and-white. Could be camouflage, especially in the snowy areas of China where they live, but they don’t really have a need for camo since they have very few natural predators.
(Take note, humans: If we could maybe stop killing each other for two seconds, we too could live a silly life full of carefree fun like pandas do.)
This description was my favorite, though:
“Dis iz a bear. She lives on da mountains, this is how they have evolved to travel. They are floooooof and they are sof and warms. They have no dangers but humans. They are peace and love and bamboo. Save da bears.”
Floooooof!
They are also known to “play” with their cubs like “toys” but always gentle. They mastered Newton’s 3 laws of motion centuries before he was born. If a bear starts rolling fast enough it can orbit the earth. I am bear.
So yeah, pandas are real. And if you want to know the answer to the original question, they survive in the wild by being not nearly as playful as they are in captivity. Thankfully, giant pandas are no longer listed as endangered thanks to conservation efforts in China and around the globe. Let’s keep up that energy so we can keep these marvelous creatures thriving both in the wild and in captivity when they can’t be released.
Trader Joe’s has a lot of cookies. More than a place that is widely assumed to be some sort of health food store but in reality is just a regular market should have. There are more sweet cookies at Trader Joe’s than you can probably eat in a lifetime… unless you went to TJ’s specifically to buy every cookie you could find.
Which is exactly what I did for this ranking of the best cookies sold at Trader Joe’s in 2022.
Now in truth, I’m not entirely sure this is every Trader Joe’s cookie, because for some reason TJ’s doesn’t keep all of their cookies in one single place, instead they have them scattered around all over the store. With the fresh baked goods, with the frozen foods, near some pasta, above a case of butter, seriously, walking around Trader Joe’s looking for every cookie was like being in Supermarket Sweep, a reference that perhaps only resonates with people over the age of 65.
In my search, I came upon 12 different cookies, from the famous Cookie Butter and Ginger Snaps to oddities like Maple Leaf Cookies and French crepe cookies. So let’s rank them all and separate the good from the trash so that you don’t end up carving into your market budget for a big box of wasted calories and false promises.
12. Half Moon Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
I want these to be good because I look at them, they’re adorable, they’ve got a cool name, and they smell like delicious chocolate fudge. Unfortunately, they fail to deliver in the flavor department. In the 77th episode of Seinfeld, Jerry eats a black and white cookie that upsets his stomach and ends a 14-year streak of no vomiting… this is that cookie and after tasting it, it’s easy to see why it broke Jerry’s streak.
First, there is the icing. It’s too thick and hardened like a shell. It takes a lot of effort to actually chew through it, and most of the icing ends up stuck in your teeth as you chew through the soft short-bread-like texture.
The Bottom Line:
Too sweet, too soft, and too much thick candy frosting. Great smell though, if this was a ranking of the best smelling cookies, this would definitely be up there.
11. Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies With Walnuts
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
Trader Joe’s vegan chocolate chip cookies are pretty damn fragrant. Notes of brown sugar, chocolate, and toasted walnuts waft from the bag as soon as you tear the pack open, but the flavor just doesn’t deliver. This cookie is somehow soft and grainy at the same time, it has the pliability of a soft-baked cookie but crumbles in your mouth while you eat it. It also has this dull, plant-y after taste.
The Bottom Line:
Bland and boring, with a weird dull after taste.
10. Maple Leaf Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
If you’ve ever eaten a cookie and wished it was a pancake, then I guess the Maple Leaf Cookies were tailor-made for you. I don’t know why this needs to be a cookie, but it is, and you know what? I kind of like it. The cookies smell and taste exactly like a stack of pancakes. They’re buttery, with strong notes of maple and cinnamon flavors, but unlike pancakes, they have a crunchy and creamy mouthfeel.
The only thing is, they’re incredibly overwhelming. For the first few bites of this cookie, it was a great experience, but about halfway through I didn’t want to eat it anymore as the sweet flavors became overwhelming and kind of nauseating. Eating this cookie is like being on certain roller coasters, the first drop is fun but after it spins you around you start feeling sick to your stomach.
The Bottom Line:
A cookie worth trying, but not worth buying.
9. Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
I never thought I’d say a cookie has “too much hazelnut,” but uh, this cookie has way too much damn hazelnut. I know that sounds like it can’t possibly be a bad thing, but in this cookie it’s distracting. The cookie texture is similar to shortbread, but instead of tasting buttery and light, this cookie has an oily mouthfeel and a waxy nutty flavor that, and I know this sounds weird, kind of tastes like what a candle smells like.
Frankly, it tastes cheap. I know that’s disappointing because this is such a great concept for a cookie, f*cking up chocolate hazelnut is like fucking up chocolate chip. Oh wait, Trader Joe’s kind of did that too… (see number 9).
The Bottom Line:
Too much hazelnut, just trust us.
8. Aussie-style Chocolate Creme Sandwich Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
This cookie comes 11 to a box, which begs the question: Is that an Australian thing? Well, whatever is going on Down Under, they’re doing it right because this cookie is delicious. Sweet milk chocolate creme is sandwiched between two hard chocolate cookies, giving you a chocolate-on-chocolate flavor that’ll satisfy fans of chocolate-chocolate chip cookies and double chocolate chunk muffins.
The Bottom Line:
If you’re all about chocolate cookies, this cookie doubles down.
7. French Chocolate Crepe Wafer Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
I’m not sure this should even be considered a cookie, it’s so thin that it’s crispy. Biting into it shatters the ‘cookie’ into millions of shards of delicious chocolate. Rather than being a solid cookie, this wafer is made up of rolls of very thin ribbons of sugary chocolate. It’s maybe the most interesting cookie I’ve ever eaten, but ranking it any higher than this feels wrong.
This isn’t the sort of cookie you eat when you want to snack out, instead, it’s the only one we’d suggest pairing with a glass of red wine.
The Bottom Line:
It’s neither a cookie nor a wafer, but it’s delicious so who cares? It’s the only cookie that calls for a glass of wine, which isn’t ever a thing we’d thought we needed until now.
6. Crispy Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
Be careful with these things, they’re thin, crispy, and so unsatisfying that you’ll never feel like you have enough, which will cause you to eat more. First, you’ll say to yourself “I’ll have four, but they’re small, so it’s like having two real cookies.” Then a few minutes later you’ll repeat the process and before you know it you’ll have eaten 20 chocolate chip cookies in a single hour. Then you’ll start having crazier thoughts like, “what if I just poured a bunch in a bowl with milk and ate it like cereal?”
Trader Joe’s is fully aware of how fun these are to eat, that’s why they come in this tall plastic container. As a cookie itself, it’s not even the best chocolate chip cookie, but it tastes exactly as good as it needs to in order to be addicting.
The Bottom Line:
They aren’t the best chocolate chip cookies you’ll ever eat, but you’ll never want to stop eating them.
5. Coconut Macaroons
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
I’m a sucker for macaroons, so even if these were garbage, I’d still probably rank them highly. They’re not garbage though, but I’ll say this: if you have a panaderia in your neighborhood or a bakery that makes these, buy them there, they’ll be way moister, fluffier, and fresher than these, but if you don’t have access to those things, definitely don’t hesitate to pick these up.
They’re delicious, sweetened coconut flavors mingle with vanilla coupled with a spongy texture that is a pleasure to chew through. It’s like the middle ground between a cake and a cookie. Trader Joe’s are a bit drier than the fresh-baked variety, but for a market macaroon, they’re pretty damn solid.
The Bottom Line
Delicious fluffy coconut flavors with a toasted exterior.
4. Triple Ginger Snaps
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
It’s impossible to get tired of eating Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Snaps, they’re incredibly addicting and have one of the more unique flavor profiles in the world of cookies. The big draw here is that Trader Joe’s uses actual chunks of ginger in each cookie, infusing this cinnamon forward cookie with spicy sweetened ginger notes that buzz on the palate. You can’t call a lot of cookies refreshing, but there is something refreshing and palate-cleansing about the Triple Ginger Snap, it’s like eating an Andes mint at the end of a meal.
The Bottom Line
Spicy, sweet, and refreshing. What other cookie gives you that?
3. Joe Joe’s Sandwich Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
The only thing not to like about this cookie is that it’s so good it can be overwhelming. Let me break it down to you in the simplest way: the Joe Joe is basically a Reese’s peanut butter cookie mixed with an Oreo. I mean, need we say more? You have that distinct crunchy sweet dark chocolate cookie encased in ribbons of milk chocolate and peanut butter, few cookies offer a better experience than that.
But it’s too powerful. Getting through a single Joe Joe is like eating an Oreo and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in succession, and as they stand, those are two overwhelming snacks to begin with. Eating a single Joe Joe will satisfy you enough for an entire day, which means an open pack will go bad before you can even get through it all.
The Bottom Line
So good that its extreme decadence holds it back from being the best.
2. Cookie Butter Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
God damn this cookie is good. It sandwiches butter creme between what are essentially two thin shortbread cookies, giving you a baked butter on creamy butter flavor that tastes like the best cake batter you’ve ever eaten. It’s soft, fluffy, sweet, buttery, it sounds overwhelming, and it is… but in the best way possible. This is the sort of cookie you bite into and immediately realize it isn’t something you should be eating on a regular basis, and then you will immediately reach for another.
It’s addicting, even if you aren’t crazy about butter, but the box is total false advertisement. The cookies don’t actually contain a thick layer of butter creme, as you can see in the above picture the cookies are much more pressed together and the creme is used sparingly. We’re not sure we could handle it if it actually looked like it does on the box — it would be too rich.
The Bottom Line
If you love shortbread cookies, this will blow your mind. It somehow elevates that perfect cookie by adding a creamy sensation to the baked butter flavor.
1. Dark Chocolate Chunk and Almond Cookies
Dane Rivera
The Cookie:
The only reason the Cookie Butter Cookie didn’t rank number one is that I’m all about the hard cookie. I think there are two types of cookie eaters, the kind that prefer the soft chew, and us more refined people who know that hard cookies are the way to go. I love everything about this cookie, it’s hard and crunchy, thanks to the inclusion of crushed almonds, with semi-sweet dark chocolate chunks embedded throughout. It has a toasty and deep earthy chocolate-forward flavor with some notes of cinnamon, coffee, and a nutty almond finish.
It’s sweet but never overwhelming, and the way the dark chocolate and almond flavors mingle are interesting, they manage to bring forward the stone fruit flavors connected to both almond and cacao. It might not be as decadent and consistent as the Cookie Butter Cookie, but if you like a balance and sweet and natural flavors, you’re not going to find a better cookie at Trader Joe’s.
The Bottom Line
If you’re a fan of hard cookies, this is by far the best Trader Joe’s cookie your money will buy. If you’re all about that soft chew, go with our number two pick.
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