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Kanye West rather infamously threw his ex-girlfriend, Amber Rose, under the bus when he started dating Kim Kardashian. In a heinous display of misogyny, he said in an interview on The Breakfast Club that he had to “take 30 showers” before getting with Kim, implying that his ex was somehow gross or dirty. Amber defended herself to the max at the time, and eventually turned her anger about the incident into an event called the Slutwalk, where thousands of women march to combat gender issues like victim blaming, double standards within sexuality, and abuse against sex workers.

At the time, Amber was so upset she predicted that Kanye was going to have a rough time with the Kardashians eventually. In a tweet from October 2015 she wrote: “@kanyewest I’ll leave that up to the Kartrashians to humiliate u when they’re done with u,” getting a jab in at the family with a clever pun as well. But now that her prediction has all but come true, Amber is definitely not siding with Kanye. Even if her fans were gleeful as drama unfolded between Kanye and his ex over their daughter’s birthday party, Amber chastised her followers for glorying in their pain. In fact, she said in an Instagram story this weekend that she regrets the tweet and has no ill will toward the Kardashians at all. She’s definitely taking the high road this time.

“Man f*ck that old ass tweet. I never got an apology for his “30 showers” comment but f*ck it. I started my Slutwalk and helped millions of women around the world stand up for themselves against slut-shaming so something amazing came out of it. Kim nor her sisters deserved that tweet and y’all shouldn’t co-sign that either. Sh*t was old and immature of me to involve the KarDASHians in the mess HE made. Moving forward… Learn from my mistakes. We all have kids and family’s, life is hard enough right for nor a lot of ppl. I just wanna spread love and positivity – Muva.”

All this is just a reminder for everyone that Amber has been the best role model all along.

Last summer, after a lengthy, pandemic-induced hiatus, movie theaters sprung back to life. But it wasn’t like flipping a switch. One blockbuster after another — even hotly anticipated Marvel movies about popular characters — underperformed. Then, just in time for the even more transmissible Omicron variant, one movie finally broke through: Spider-Man: No Way Home. Since bowing in mid-December, the threequel has shattered box office records. But now its reign at the top of the box office is over.

As per Box Office Mojo, Scream — which is not to be confused with the 1996 horror hit Scream, but which is nonetheless the fifth film in the series — kicked Peter Parker off the top of the charts with a $30.6 million debut. No Way Home, meanwhile, “only” amassed $20.8 million in its fifth weekend.

Of course, Scream’s haul was nowhere in the galaxy of the new Spider-Man’s opening weekend. Indeed, the revival was over $200 million shy of that film’s $253 domestic take, not to mention the $334.2 million it made overseas in its first weekend alone. (Scream’s overseas take, from 50 global markets, was $18 million.)

But $30.6 million — with more to come during Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a day-off for some — is nothing to sneeze at, and it suggests movie theaters may be okay in the long run.

The new Scream brings back some of the surviving stars from the long-running series, which bowed over a quarter century ago, producing two sequels released in the immediate wake, then a fourquel in 2011, as well as a TV series. Director Wes Craven, who helmed the first four, died in 2015.

(Via Box Office Mojo)

The Righteous Gemstones Halo Report is a weekly recap feature that assigns between zero and five halos to people, things, events, and general topics from each episode. There is very little to this beyond an excuse to highlight cool stuff from a good show and make jokes. And do crappy drawings of halos in MS Paint. We’re having fun.

ZERO HALOS

Pissing off a character played by Eric Roberts

I’ve watched enough movies and television shows in my life to know two things for sure: One, if you cross a character played by Eric Roberts, things are going to get real dicey for you real soon; two, Eric Roberts should be in more movies and television shows. He’s the best. I don’t know anyone who plays a slimeball as well as him. Anytime he shows up I’m like “Ooo buddy, here we go, things are about to get sleazy.” It’s thrilling to me. I can’t and won’t explain it.

Point being: Eli Gemstone is not going to be having fun for the foreseeable future. Anything could happen here. There’s a lingering chaos in the background. I’m really very excited. My only complaint about any of it is that they came so close to dropping a “you and I are not so different” in the car and then veered away from it. You can’t do that to me.

Clipping your jimmies

The thing about The Righteous Gemstones is that one character’s alibi for a murder can include an extended flashback sequence about bowling with a mobster and a crew of fast women and a manscaping mishap that leaves a prominent televangelist bleeding profusely from his nether regions and it can still somehow not be the funniest or weirdest scene in that particular 30-minute episode. We’ll get to BJ and his rollerblades soon, I promise. For now, I mean, prayers up for Dr. Gemstone’s… uh, gemstones.

ONE HALO

Titus

One on hand: Challenged Kelvin and got lippy and ended up crumpling under the weight of a massive cross during a failed test of physical strength that resulted in him getting locked in a wooden cage as punishment.

On the other hand: This moment, the ripping the phone book into the look of heavenly possession into the little still-possessed dance move, was an absolute delight.

I worry about Titus.

Baby Billy

No Baby Billy this week. My thoughts on the situation are as follows:

• Come on
• Bring him in there
• Do it
• I miss him
• Come on

Thank you.

TWO HALOS

Jesse Gemstone

Things are not going too great for Jesse. He’s making no real headway on his plans to branch out and/or takeover, he accused his father of murder and then had to listen to the jimmies-clipping story (maybe worse), his kids are plotting against him and/or leaving crusty drawers all over and/or being blonde sociopaths. He should be in the zero or one halo section, by any fair system of judgment.

And yet, the golf cart thing made me laugh enough to give him an extra halo. There are no rules here. Or maybe my omnipotence is going to my head. It’s probably fine.

Kelvin Gemstone’s alpha status

Kelvin is:

• Getting sued for his Jesus Tower debacle
• Getting yelled at by Eli
• Getting challenged by his followers
• Kind of running a cult?

This is a situation we will continue to monitor.

THREE HALOS

Pontius Gemstone

As I mentioned above, all three of Jesse and Amber’s kids are maniacs. Gideon schemed with criminals to ruin the family last season. Abraham has his issues. But Pontius might be the real wild card here. I half-expect one of these episodes to open with him like just staring into a raging fire he built in the yard. A wild madness in his eyes. Maybe eating a popsicle a little too casually. He might murder someone just to see how it feels.

He fascinates and terrifies me. I want to follow him around school for a whole episode someday.

Riding a rollercoaster by yourself

See, this is one of those things that seems fun on paper, especially when you’re a kid. “When I grow up, I’m gonna build a whole amusement park with lots of rides and they’ll be all for me and no one else can come and I’m gonna ride the rollercoaster over and over all by myself.” We’ve all been or known one of those little brats.

The thing is, though, in practice… less fun and/or cool. Kind of disturbing, actually. Just riding the same rollercoaster over and over with no emotion in your face and no one to share it with. Sorrow in your soul that not even a loop-di-loop or two can cure. It’s borderline serial killer behavior. You can see why BJ was suspicious.

What I’m saying here is to be careful what you wish for. And also do not murder anyone. Those two things, mostly.

FOUR HALOS

Judy Gemstone

I must once again stop the discussion of the actual plot-based elements to the episode to point out how freaking hilarious Edi Patterson is. Every line gets delivered with a little extra sauce, every physical comedy bit goes a tiny bit sideways from where you expected. Look at her with that magnifying glass. I paused the episode and just started giggling when I saw it. It’s a remarkable piece of business, truly.

On the subject of the magnifying glass:

• I like that she apparently just keeps one in her purse at all times in case something like this happens
• I like that neither of her brothers questioned it for a second
• This is actually not the first magnifying glass gag the show has done, as Jesse used one while looking at his laptop in season one

I choose to believe every member of the family has one. I need to see BJ use his. Immediately.

Martin

You absolutely need at least one person in your life who you can call in the middle of the night because you nicked your balls during an impromptu manscaping session to prepare for a one-stand with a woman you met in a bowling alley and now you need to get out of there. That’s a real friend. Martin is a solid dude.

Keef and sexual tension, generally

I don’t know. What are we thinking here? You saw this moment. You saw the way Keef touched Kelvin tenderly a handful of times. You saw the way he rubbed his own butt while talking to Kelvin. You see Kelvin’s face in that GIF. It’s… it’s a lot.

And again, I don’t know. I legitimately thought they were going to kiss last night. I was kind of rooting for it. Keef so clearly wants something more from life and he seems resigned to the fact that he’ll never reach it and it makes me very sad. I don’t know if that look in his eyes is a romantic longing or a longing to be viewed as Kelvin’s equal one day or both. I love him and want him to be happy. I think he can do better than Kelvin, but still.

FIVE HALOS

Fancy Nancy’s Chicken

I support any restaurant that has what appears to be a gravy fountain dispenser.

Torsten

It’s fun to think about this guy’s life. Just smashing bricks with his head and hands and brushing his hair and staying incredibly yoked at all times for Jesus Christ. Let’s go ahead and add him to the list of characters I want to follow for an entire episode. Give me Torsten’s Day Off and let me see what he’s out there getting up to. I have this image in my head of him like lifting up old ladies in the supermarket so they can reach items on the top shelf.

He could just grab the items himself. He knows that. But he wants to give them a little thrill. He’s a sweet man.

BJ, generally, but also specifically

The rollerblading, yes, of course. The baby blue outfit he wore to do it. The fact that he says he rollerblades as a way to stay swole. The little tricks he did and his weird two-wheeled rollerblades and the music selection and the thing where he wiped out spectacularly and got up and kept going like nothing happened. All of it. Perfect. Flawless. Exactly what I’m looking for in a television show.

And yet.

It wasn’t even my favorite part of this scene. Which seems impossible. But look at this screencap…

Do you understand what happened here? There was a whole conversation between the Gemstone children about documentary filmmakers and suspected murders and, apparently, BJ was just standing there, behind that tiny section of wall between the door and entrance, the whole time. I cannot possibly explain how funny that was to me. How long had he been back there? Was he just staring at the wall? It’s such a perfect little character note. Like, this tells me more about BJ than anything else anyone has said about him or watched him do.

And then…

This.

BJ slinking around doing little act-outs while telling the story. Hiding behind walls. Really getting into it and selling all the action like it’s a middle school Christmas pageant and not a story about rollerblades and rollercoasters and suspected revenge-based homicides.

He’s a wonderful and pure soul.

We must protect him.

Everything old is new again. Donald Trump laid siege to the Republican Party in part by trash-talking his rivals, several of whom eventually sucked up to him, even the one whose wife Trump called ugly. Now the one-term president is at it again. He’s yet to throw his hat in the ring for 2024, but he’s already zeroing in on the competition. Which is to say he’s keeping up his beef with Florida governor Ron DeSantis.

Sources told Axios that Trump — who has already subtweeted him about dodging questions about being boostered with the vaccine he keeps downplaying despite the Omicron bump — has been roasting him in private. DeSantis has been a favorite among Republican voters as far as potential 2024 presidential nominees. But Trump claims to not be that worried.

“In the context of the 2024 election, he usually gives DeSantis a pop in the nose in the middle of that type of conversation,” one source anonymously told Axios. “He says DeSantis has no personal charisma and has a dull personality.”

Another source told the publication that “there’s no way” DeSantis would be governor without Trump’s help, and that he seems ungrateful for the bump. He’s also reportedly irate that DeSantis “won’t say he won’t run” in 2024. “What’s the big deal? Why won’t he just say he’s not going to run against me?” Trump has reportedly said.

Meanwhile “others have stated pretty clearly they won’t challenge him,” such as Nikki Haley, South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, and senators Josh Hawley, Rick Scott, Tim Scott, and one of Trump’s favorite 2016 race punching bags-turned-sycophants, Marco Rubio.

There are other potential 2024 presidential rivals who haven’t ruled out a run, among them Trump’s former secretary of state Mike Pompeo, Tom Cotton, and Ted Cruz, yet another favorite punching bag. But given how no one likes Cruz, not even the star of his favorite movie, Trump probably is worried even less about him.

(Via Axios)

A little over four months ago, Cardi B gave birth to her second child (who is also her first son). Naturally, she’s fallen head over heels for the little one, so much so that she’s apparently very close to getting the kid’s name tattooed on her face.

Last night, Cardi tweeted, “Random but ….I’m 1% close too tatting my sons name on my face….I really really wanna do it!” In response to a fan saying they wanted to get a tattoo by their ear, Cardi added, “I want mine on my jaw.”

As for what that tattoo would say, that is to be revealed, as Cardi hasn’t actually publicly announced her son’s name yet. This comes after Cardi noted last summer that she’s grateful she didn’t get a face tattoo when she was 16.

Earlier this month, Cardi noted that her son said his first word, noting on an Instagram Story (as Us Weekly notes) “I’m not exaggerating, this baby is talking. I put this on everything I love. Yesterday, I was like, ‘You love Mommy? Yeah?’ Then I asked him again, ‘You love Mommy?’ And he replied back, ‘Yeah!’ I don’t know if that’s, like, a pandemic thing don’t know if this is normal. This sh*t is crazy. I need a camera in his room 24/7. You’re talking, and you just turned 4 months today. You’re talking for real.”

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The Righteous Gemstones is back in action, hitting HBO subscribers with a weekly dose of evangelical tomfoolery, now with Eric Andre. But truth, as ever, is stranger than fiction. Over the weekend, a video went viral featuring a Tulsa pastor delivering a fiery sermon about how embracing God may be “nasty.” And to his credit, he came up with a genuinely nasty way to convey the message.

The pastor is Mike Todd, who leads the Transformation Church in Oklahoma’s second-largest city. As per TMZ, Todd was preaching about how receiving a “vision from God might get nasty.” To demonstrate, he hocked a massive loogie into the palm of his hand. There it remained, as he told his congregation, “This is where most people would not face Jesus anymore. What most people would do is turn away.”

All the while standing next to him was a man, who calmly stood there as Todd rhapsodized with a reservoir of spit resting in his hand. Eventually Todd turned in the man’s direction, telling his flock that “when getting the vision, or receiving it, might get nasty.”

Then Todd rubbed the spit between both his hands and rubbed that spit all over the man’s face.

“And do you hear and see the responses of the people?” Todd proclaimed as his congregation yet out grossed-out cries. But their reaction, Todd, felt, proved his point. “What I’m telling you: how you just reacted is how the people in your life will react when God is doing what it takes for the Miracle.”

The video went viral, and as it made its way through social media, people were…well…maybe they simply didn’t appreciate the nuance of Todd’s holy message.

Sources later told TMZ that the man was Todd’s brother, though that has yet to be confirmed. Still, better a pastor with questionable hygiene than Joel Osteen hording secret bags of money.

(Via TMZ)

Over the past few months, Britney Spears has been open when it comes to discussing her conservatorship and how her life has been since that arrangement came to an end. She’s posted about it a lot on Instagram (and more recently, on Twitter) and has (jokingly, perhaps) declared she’s writing a book. It may be a while before we see Spears give a proper interview about her experience, though, as she has now indicated.

In an emotionally charged letter she wrote to Jamie Lynn Spears and posted on Twitter over the weekend, Spears noted that she’s “scared” of doing interviews, writing, “I wish I would be able to do what you’re doing and do interviews !!! I’m scared of all of it … I admire you for being strong.”

Elsewhere in the letter, Spears is critical of how Jamie Lynn and her father Jamie have treated her over the years, so read the whole thing below.

“Jamie Lynn … I don’t think your book is about me at all . I said some harsh things because you obviously hurt me by the things you are making up about me !!! When I said only a scum person would make up things like that about someone, I could have sworn I said ‘but you’re not’ … but it doesn’t make sense at all to me what you are saying !!!

I know you worked hard for the life you have and you have done amazing !!!! But I think we would both have to agree to the fact that the family has never been remotely as hard on you as they have been on me !!! What Dad did to me, they don’t even do that to criminals … so for you to sit back and act completely aloof to what has happened to me is honesty insane to me !!!

Do you know anybody who worked as hard as I did and the hours I put in during those 13 years only to be sent away for 4 months for no reason at all ??? And I won’t even mention what was done to me in that place !!! It took them years to give me a cup of coffee … people who have killed people and are in jail or on death row can have as much coffee as they want so why the hell was my own family hiding coffee from me ??? You guys treated me like nothing and that’s not even half of it !!! I’m honestly shocked Dad isn’t in jail !!! Come on !!! We are supposed to have each other’s back … but what you’re saying just truly confuses me !!!

All I know is I love you unconditionally !!! So go ahead and say whatever you want … it’s so tacky for a family to fight publicly like this !!! You say you love me … yet your loyalty is still with the people that hurt me the most !!!

I think the thing that saddens me the most is that when this all happened to me and when I called you from that place .. you would take days to respond !!! I never got to talk to you !!! You would just text me days later and I was so scared … I needed you…. my family, my blood and your support more than anything !!! You guys did absolutely nothing UNTIL a year ago !!! I said something on Instagram and you and Bryan showed up at my house because of an Instagram post !!! THAT makes me the saddest …. why ???? Because I needed you WAYYYYYY before that and the fact that you and Bryan showed up laughing at my gate instead of KNOWING you should have been here way before that makes me very sad !!!

I don’t care anymore !!! Say whatever you want to say just know I do know your real heart more than anyone !!! It’s your life and you deserve a beautiful life !!!! I wish I would be able to do what you’re doing and do interviews !!! I’m scared of all of it … I admire you for being strong … just know I love you and I think you know that already more than anything !!!”

Things between Britney Spears and Jamie Lynn Spears have been intense lately, as the two have been discussing each other publicly, both in interviews and on social media. Now, Britney has offered another dispatch in the form of a lengthy letter to Jamie Lynn.

In it, she addresses how her father treated her during her conservatorship, writing, “What Dad did to me, they don’t even do that to criminals … so for you to sit back and act completely aloof to what has happened to me is honesty insane to me !!!” She later added, “You guys treated me like nothing and that’s not even half of it !!! I’m honestly shocked Dad isn’t in jail !!! Come on !!! We are supposed to have each other’s back … but what you’re saying just truly confuses me !!!”

She also wrote more specifically about Jamie Lynn and how she wasn’t there for her when she needed her most: “You say you love me … yet your loyalty is still with the people that hurt me the most !!! […] I never got to talk to you !!! You would just text me days later and I was so scared … I needed you…. my family, my blood and your support more than anything !!! You guys did absolutely nothing UNTIL a year ago !!! I said something on Instagram and you and [older brother Bryan Spears] showed up at my house because of an Instagram post !!! THAT makes me the saddest …. why ???? Because I needed you WAYYYYYY before that and the fact that you and Bryan showed up laughing at my gate instead of KNOWING you should have been here way before that makes me very sad !!!”

Read Britney’s full message below.

“Jamie Lynn … I don’t think your book is about me at all . I said some harsh things because you obviously hurt me by the things you are making up about me !!! When I said only a scum person would make up things like that about someone, I could have sworn I said ‘but you’re not’ … but it doesn’t make sense at all to me what you are saying !!!

I know you worked hard for the life you have and you have done amazing !!!! But I think we would both have to agree to the fact that the family has never been remotely as hard on you as they have been on me !!! What Dad did to me, they don’t even do that to criminals … so for you to sit back and act completely aloof to what has happened to me is honesty insane to me !!!

Do you know anybody who worked as hard as I did and the hours I put in during those 13 years only to be sent away for 4 months for no reason at all ??? And I won’t even mention what was done to me in that place !!! It took them years to give me a cup of coffee … people who have killed people and are in jail or on death row can have as much coffee as they want so why the hell was my own family hiding coffee from me ??? You guys treated me like nothing and that’s not even half of it !!! I’m honestly shocked Dad isn’t in jail !!! Come on !!! We are supposed to have each other’s back … but what you’re saying just truly confuses me !!!

All I know is I love you unconditionally !!! So go ahead and say whatever you want … it’s so tacky for a family to fight publicly like this !!! You say you love me … yet your loyalty is still with the people that hurt me the most !!!

I think the thing that saddens me the most is that when this all happened to me and when I called you from that place .. you would take days to respond !!! I never got to talk to you !!! You would just text me days later and I was so scared … I needed you…. my family, my blood and your support more than anything !!! You guys did absolutely nothing UNTIL a year ago !!! I said something on Instagram and you and Bryan showed up at my house because of an Instagram post !!! THAT makes me the saddest …. why ???? Because I needed you WAYYYYYY before that and the fact that you and Bryan showed up laughing at my gate instead of KNOWING you should have been here way before that makes me very sad !!!

I don’t care anymore !!! Say whatever you want to say just know I do know your real heart more than anyone !!! It’s your life and you deserve a beautiful life !!!! I wish I would be able to do what you’re doing and do interviews !!! I’m scared of all of it … I admire you for being strong … just know I love you and I think you know that already more than anything !!!”

Vinyl records are currently the physical music format of choice: In 2020, they outsold CDs for the first time since the ’80s. However, when you narrow the scope down to just recent physical music acquisitions by Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church, CDs are in first place: The Telegraph reports that last week, Francis made “a rare private foray” to visit Stereosound, a record store in Rome, and while there, he was gifted a mystery CD.

Tiziana Esposito, one of Stereosound’s owners, told The Telegraph, “He was here for maybe 20 minutes, just time for us to have a chat. It was an honor, very emotional. He is a great person, a simple man but marvelous. He used to come here before he became pope, when he was the archbishop of Buenos Aires and visiting Rome. This time we gave him a present, a CD, but I’m not telling anyone what it was.”

Letizia Giostra, another of the store’s owners, also told Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera (as Catholic News Service notes), “The Holy Father is passionate about music and was already our client, years ago, when he was still a cardinal and would pass through Rome. Then, of course, we never saw him again. And now he came to visit us, to say hello.”

Aside from the CD, Francis was also seen holding a vinyl record as he left the store, of which Giostra said, “It’s a gift we gave him, a record of classical music.”

In a 2016 interview, Francis noted he missed being able to do everyday things like go out and get some pizza, saying, “I could order it, but it is not the same. It’s nice to go there.” In a 2013 interview with America Magazine, Francis noted of his favorite composers, “Among musicians, I love Mozart, of course. The ‘Et incarnatus est’ from his Mass in C minor is matchless; it lifts you to God! I love Mozart performed by Clara Haskil. Mozart fulfills me. But I cannot think about his music; I have to listen to it. I like listening to Beethoven, but in a Promethean way, and the most Promethean interpreter for me is Furtwängler. And then Bach’s Passions. The piece by Bach that I love so much is the ‘Erbarme Dich,’ the tears of Peter in the ‘St. Matthew Passion.’ Sublime. Then, at a different level, not intimate in the same way, I love Wagner. I like to listen to him, but not all the time. The performance of Wagner’s ‘Ring’ by Furtwängler at La Scala in Milan in 1950 is for me the best. But also the ‘Parsifal’ by Knappertsbusch in 1962.”

(Plenty of Yellowjackets spoilers will be found below.)

Yellowjackets plans to roll out for a full five seasons, so naturally, we shouldn’t have expected a cut-and-dried season finale. Nope, and as any good season finale should do, this one left plenty of loose ends about the show that everyone has been talking about since (and let’s get real here) the void left by the Succession finale.

(These are both quality shows that you should watch, if you haven’t already.)

Well, people will be talking about this finale for awhile since it presented several new questions (for the future), including but not limited to the following: (1) Is Jackie really dead? (2) Are any of the “dead” Yellowjackets (including Laura Lee, who recently took off in an airplane that promptly exploded) really dead? (3) Who’s the dude that welcomed Jackie into the room of “dead” Yellowjackets? (4) What’s going on with this cult that pounded down the door of adult Natalie while she attempted to kill herself?

Lots of stuff like that. At least we (probably) learned the identity of the Antler Queen:

This wasn’t explicitly stated, of course (because fans are the ones running with the “Antler Queen” label), but it sure as heck seems like Lottie’s the One with some strong visual foreshadowing happening throughout the season, including in the “Doomcoming” episode, along with premonitions and so on. What this final scene means, and whether this snowbound devotional act — with Vanessa and Misty kneeling in the background — has anything to do with the cult that snatched Natalie, and the blackmailing, and Taissa’s shrine, well, we surely don’t know yet. The supernatural vibes kept ratcheting up all season (the writers and producers wisely made things progressively weirder rather than hit us all at once with the spooks), and the audience is now left with a better grasp on how things gradually turned more savage in the woods.

For now, though, everyone’s bowing to the (probable, kind-of predictable) Antler Queen and the “who the fuck is Lottie Matthews?” question.

Yellowjackets will return at some point! Thank goodness.