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Pairing a drink with a sweet, decadent, possibly chocolate-covered dessert is easy. A glass of milk works. So does a slightly bitter coffee. But sometimes after a long meal, you’re looking for a boozy kick to go along with all that sugar in your system. This is where sweeter whiskeys, potent wines, and dark, complimentary beers come into play.

While we could write plenty about port wines (and other sweet wines), bourbons, single malt scotches, and even dark rums that work well with an indulgent final course, today we’re turning our attention to dessert beers. Some that pair nicely with sweets and some that could be desserts all on their own.

Below, you’ll find eight of the most delectable, indulgent dessert beers on the market, ranked based on their overall flavor, their sweetness ratio, and how well they work as an end-of-the-meal digestif or pairing. Keep scrolling to see these excellent craft beers in all of their chocolate, nutty, cinnamon sugar goodness.

8) Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar

ABV: 5.6%

Average Price: $11 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This 5.6 percent ABV brown ale is an homage to the popularity of hazelnuts in Rogue’s home state of Oregon. Brewed with 2-row, C15, C75, C120, Kiln Coffee, and Pacman yeast, Brown malts as well as Perle and Sterling hops, it gets its notable nutty, sweet flavor from the addition of real hazelnut extract.

Tasting Notes:

There are notable aromas of hazelnuts that immediately let you know what you’re in for. There are also hints of toffee and vanilla to add to the sweetness, but not much else. The flavor continues with the aroma. There’s a ton of nutty sweetness from the hazelnuts, sugar cookies, some fudge, and butterscotch. It’s very sweet and nutty.

Bottom Line:

Overall, it’s a little too sweet for some drinkers — enough to turn away some fans hoping for a little more bitterness and spice.

7) Stone Xocoveza

ABV: 8.1%

Average Price: $17 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This very popular 8.1 percent imperial stout was made to taste just like Mexican-style hot chocolate. Made with coffee, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, chocolate, and a spicy dose of pasilla peppers, this spicy, sweet beer has to be imbibed to be believed.

Tasting Notes:

Spices are up front on this beer’s nose. There are aromas of cinnamon, bitter chocolate, and nutmeg. The palate is loaded with hints of sweet vanilla, freshly brewed coffee, dark chocolate, more cinnamon sugar, and gentle heat from the addition of the pasilla peppers.

Bottom Line:

This beer has a nice mix of sweetness and heat, but might be a little bolder than some dessert beer drinkers are expecting.

6) Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout

ABV: 10%

Average Price: $13 for a six-pack

The Beer:

No dessert beer is complete without Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout. This bold, chocolate-filled Russian imperial stout was originally the beer Brooklyn brewmaster Garret Oliver used as his resume beer. It’s known for its roasted malt and over-the-top dark chocolate flavors.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is filled with scents of dark roast coffee, bitter chocolate, raisins, dried cherries, and sticky toffee. Sipping it reveals even more flavors like freshly brewed espresso, dates, fudge, slight hops, and a nice roasted malt backbone that ties everything together.

Bottom Line:

For a beer that touts itself as a “Black Chocolate Stout,” this beer is surprisingly complex. The complex and nice, fruity flavors pair well with the chocolate and roasted malts.

5) Prairie Sundae Service Imperial Stout

ABV: 14.9%

Average Price: $14.50 for a 12-ounce bottle

The Beer:

You’d be hard-pressed to find a more dessert-like beer than Prairie Sundae Service Imperial Stout. That’s because this bourbon barrel-aged imperial stout was literally brewed to taste like a classic hot fudge sundae. Prairie did this by adding chocolate, vanilla, fudge, cherries, peanuts, and even sprinkles.

Tasting Notes:

Take a moment to breathe in the aromas of fudge, vanilla beans, and sweet bourbon before your first sip. This is followed by a palate of butterscotch, buttercream frosting, bourbon, dark chocolate, and a nice, nutty sweetness throughout. It literally tastes like an ice cream sundae in beer form.

Bottom Line:

This beer would be a little too sweet and indulgent if it wasn’t for the bourbon barrel-aging. The aging adds a gentle warming nature that mellows out all of the overly sweet flavors.

4) The Bruery Bakery Sticky Bun

ABV: 10.2%

Average Price: $8 for a 16-ounce can

The Beer:

Placentia, California’s The Bruery is known for its boundary-pushing beers. This is extremely evident in its “Bakery” beers. One of the best is Sticky Bun, a bourbon barrel-aged imperial stout brewed with maple syrups, vanilla, cinnamon, and pecans.

Tasting Notes:

Not surprisingly, this beer smells like a cinnamon bun. There are welcome aromas of maple candy, dark chocolate, cinnamon, and vanilla. The palate swirls with vanilla beans, sticky toffee, butterscotch, cinnamon sugar, freshly brewed coffee, and bitter chocolate. It ends with a nice hit of maple sweetness.

Bottom Line:

This creamy, flavorful beer is the closest thing you’ll ever get to a stick bun in beer form. It has everything a beer drinker and a fan of sweet breakfast desserts could want.

3) Evil Twin Imperial Biscotti Break

ABV: 11.5%

Average Price: $13 for a four-pack

The Beer:

There’s a reason this is one of Evil Twin’s most popular beers. This 11.5 percent imperial stout is brewed with coffee, vanilla, and almonds flavors. It’s a rich, sweet homage to classic biscotti. It’s one of the best examples of dessert beer on the market.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find a wallop of toasted vanilla beans, French roast coffee, almond cookies, dried fruits, and a good deal of chocolate. The flavor is very complex with notes of amaretto, vanilla cream, raisins, sweet caramel, and bitter chocolate. It’s warming, sweet, and highly memorable.

Bottom Line:

Evil Twin set out to craft a complex, warming dessert beer that tasted like a classic biscotti in beer form and they did just that. It’s a truly exceptional beer.

2) Burial Skillet Donut Stout

ABV: 8%

Average Price: Limited Availability

The Beer:

There are numerous doughnut-themed beers on the market and one of the best is Burial Skillet Donut Stout. This breakfast stout is brewed with multiple barley malts, oats, milk, molasses sugars, and coffee beans. It’s everything you could want in a sweet, rich breakfast stout.

Tasting Notes:

When nosing, the first scent that hits your nose is that of freshly brewed coffee. This is followed by roasted malts, treacle, and chocolate. The palate is centered around more roasted coffee beans, cinnamon sugar, molasses, caramel, and dark chocolate.

Bottom Line:

As the name suggests, this beer tastes like all of the sweet breakfast items paired with a nice, steaming cup of slightly bitter, robust coffee.

1) Great Notion Double Stack

ABV: 11%

Average Price: $11 for a 16-ounce can

The Beer:

With a name like Double Stack, you sort of know what you’re getting into with this beer. This beloved eleven percent ABV imperial breakfast stout was fermented with maple syrup and aged on roasted coffee beans locally sourced in Oregon. It’s maple and coffee mayhem.

Tasting Notes:

There’s a ton of coffee on this beer’s nose. It’s slightly bitter but very welcoming. There’s also a little hit of maple candy underneath. Taking a sip reveals flavors of chocolate fudge, roasted coffee beans, maple syrup, and toffee. The finish is a mix of maple sweetness and coffee dryness.

Overall, this is a truly great beer.

Bottom Line:

It was a bit of a toss-up between Burial Skillet and Great Notion Double Stack. Both have a great mix of maple and coffee. Great Notion just balances it a little bit better — making it the dessert beer champ.

LA-based R&B singer Joyce Wrice has quietly made a name for herself locally thanks to the feel-good, throwback vibes 2021 debut album Overgrown, but her next project just might make her a household name — at least, if your household includes any demographic that grew up on Disney Channel staple The Proud Family. It’s fitting that an artist who made nostalgia her stock in trade has been selected to sing the theme song for the Proud Family reboot coming soon to Disney +.

“I am so excited to share that I’ll be singing the reimagined theme song for #TheProudFamilyLouderAndProuder” she tweeted. “I am a huge fan of the original series and am honored to be a part of the #DisneyPlus Revival. I can’t wait for you to hear it!!”

The Proud Family: Louder And Prouder will follow the ongoing coming-of-age adventures of Penny Proud and her friends as they enter the world of dating — opposed, as always, by Penny’s overbearing dad Oscar. Judging from the trailer that dropped earlier today, the storylines will expand the scope of the show to encompass modern-day topics and the various pop culture changes that have taken place since the original groundbreaking series broke boundaries in the early 2000s.

In addition, the show will feature a who’s-who of Black entertainment talent including Lizzo, Tiffany Haddish, Gabrielle Union, Lil Nas X, and more.

As far as Wrice’s involvement goes, Disney dropped a cute featurette to explain how the burgeoning star was pulled into the project to put her own unique spin on the theme song originally made famous by Destiny’s Child. You can check that out below and watch the trailer above, and keep an eye out — something tells me Ms. Wrice’s rise to superstardom is just beginning.

Click to download here.

St. Elzéar’s Fire

Put your favorite gold hat on and listen to the latest PYAG with comedian and host of the Never Seen It podcast Kyle Ayers talking to Matt and Vince about The Sopranos season 6a episode 9, “The Ride.”

The “ride” in question is a faulty teacup carnival ride that puts Janice in a neck brace, or at least inspires Janice to make use of a neck brace in a classic Janice grift. The teacup was part of the St. Elzear’s festival, which itself is a grift perpetrated by Paulie and a local church. When the new priest then tries to shakedown Paulie, he, of all people, is the first in this episode, and maybe the series, to point out that the Catholic Church might be the real gangster, or at least the real child abuse cover-upper.

Before the festival Chris and Tony are reminiscing about that time they conspired to kill Christopher’s fiancé, and Kyle points out that for some reason, Tony seems uncomfortable reminiscing with his criminal friends about their heinous criminal acts. The lesson being: work/ life balance is hard for everyone.

There’s also some talk about the Beatles, “Brokeback” as an adjective, the drawbacks of cannoli as an eating contest food, and pasta slop Foley art.

You really need to get yourself into rehab, but for now, it won’t hurt to toot a little five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

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-Description by Brent Flyberg.

A leaked snippet from a supposed new Kanye West song suggests that while Kim Kardashian-West is cool with her future ex-husband’s choice of partner, the feeling is not mutual. The song, which allegedly appears on a song with The Game titled “My Life Was Never Eazy” and was sourced to a Clubhouse chat with Game’s manager Wack 100, finds Kanye name-checking Pete Davidson, Kim’s new beau, and sending a few fighting words the comedian’s way. “God saved me from the crash / Just so I can beat Pete Davidson’s ass,” he raps.

The rough-sounding snippet may not even appear on the song, which is said to be intended for either Kanye’s Donda sequel or Game’s “comeback” album Drillmatic, according to TMZ. I guess it just goes to show: Women definitely handle breakups better than men.

Certainly, Kanye’s reaction seems to contradict 21 Savage’s assertion that it was him who did the dumping. It also sounds a bit hypocritical, considering he’s been very publicly affectionate with his own new romantic interest, actress Julia Fox. Fox detailed the burgeoning couple’s recent date, recalling how he’d rented a hotel suite full of clothes for her to take photos in — y’know, very reasonable second-date behavior. In the meantime, Kim’s relationship with Pete has also attracted its fair share of attention for the supposedly odd-couple pairing, which model Emily Ratajkowski attributed to his charm and vulnerability — a definite contrast to Ye’s megalomania.

A couple of weeks into 2022, and we’re already spiraling. I recently saw a meme that read “2022 is pronounced “2020 too,” but the cushy days of early Covid with its prepaid Visa cards and months off work are long gone. Now we’ve entered a savage phase at the intersection of late-stage capitalism and perpetual pandemic. The show must go on. Meaning, of course, at the expense of our physical and mental health.

So… how do we deal with this very specific variety of hell? Weed, of course! So. Much. Weed.

While many still associate cannabis use with “laziness,” a deeper understanding of the plant along with an explosion in the types of cannabis products available has made this trope an antiquated one used solely by lames. Cannabis can actually be a great tool for getting shit done just as easily as it can be a method for calming you down.

Here are some uplifting, zest-inducing products to breathe some excitement into the apocalypse. Thriving in chaos is kind of our thing these days, anyways.

MyHi Stix

The Product:

The combination of cannabis and caffeine has been clinically proven to f*cking rule. Unfortunately, California has laws that prohibit certain types of caffeine and THC from occupying the same product. Fortunately, there are workarounds that allow us to still get our kicks, or rather, Stix.

MyHi Stix is an actual godsend with an all-natural, energizing high similar to coffee but with more fun and fewer jitters. Each Stix contains five to ten-mg of nano-emulsified THC (meaning it hits you right away), 30mg of green coffee bean extract (about ⅓ a cup of coffee worth of caffeine), and a dash of monk fruit for sweetness. Just pop the lid off or peel the sticker and stir into any hot or cold beverage.

Bottom Line:

MyHi is a remote worker’s best friend, removing stress from your work day while promoting productivity.

BUY IT HERE: $45-$65 per MyHi Pack

Plus Lemon Jack sativa gummies

The Product:

Weed gummies are great, but what about weed gummies that make you productive? Look no further than Plus Lemon Jack Sativa Gummies. Plus Gummies are effect-based micro-sized gummies that come in at five-mg THC a pop.

Bottom Line:

This particular offering bursts with sour citrus to complement its Lemon Jack strain. This cross between Lemon Kush and Jack Herer, which is known for its uplifting and cerebral high, will have you buzzing along in no time.

BUY IT HERE: $19

New Phase Blends Go tincture

The Product:

While CBD is great, it really works better in tandem with other substances and cannabinoids than it does on its own as an isolate. New Phase Blends patented products combine CBD with other botanicals and substances to create effect-based tinctures, gummies, and soft gels that actually do what they say they’re going to.

Bottom Line:

My personal favorite is the Go Tincture, which combines CBD with synephrine, a stimulant derived from bitter orange, and feels like a less cracked-out Adderall. It actually had quite a hand in the writing of this article, if you must know.

BUY IT HERE: $66

Fume Sativa Joint Pack

The Product:

Fume is a new brand out of Napa Valley that hopes to merge the needlessly disparate worlds of cannabis and fine wine. Fume’s sun-grown flower is cultivated with attention to terpene profiles and full-body experience, similar to how one would conceptualize a fine wine. Having grown grapes in Napa for generations, Fume’s founders bring the same high-end energy to their cannabis products.

Bottom Line:

With eighths, pre-roll packs, and individual prerolls, the most “new year new me” product they have on the roster right now would be the Mango Kush Sativa Joint Pack. Feturing corked glass tubes and wooden mouth tips, the pack is chic enough to replace a bottle of wine as a dinner party gift. And, let’s be real, the best version of yourself always drinks less than the current one — this makes a good substitute.

BUY IT HERE: $60

Bob by Sweetwater Pharms

The Product:

One of my favorite uplifting strains of the year, Bob by Sweetwater Pharms, is timely in a very tender way. This gorgeous strain is coincidentally named after Bob Saget, and is just as vibrant and giggle-inducing as the ledge himself (RIP!).

Bottom Line:

A sativa dominant hybrid, Bob is a cross between some super iconic genetics you rarely see anymore — Pre-98 Bubba Kush and Afghani Haze. The high is bright-eyed, exciting, and alive. It makes me feel happy in the morning and relaxed in the evening, without altering my ability to focus and get shit done. Viva, Bob!

BUY IT HERE: $35

Alien Fruit Cake Live Rosin by Cali

The Product:

The new Alien Fruit Cake Live Rosin by the terp wizards at Cali Stripe Concentrates is cosmic, effervescent, and fun enough to remind me why I love weed so much in the first place.

Cali Stripe is like your favorite extract brand’s favorite extract brand. They’re small, but their attention to detail is unmatched and they produce some of the highest quality concentrates on the market. Period. They’re the type of brand where if you know, you know. And now you guys know, so go check them out.

Bottom Line:

With its bursting fruit flavor and exciting, focused high, Alien Fruit Cake is a great place to start your love affair with working whilst dabbing.

BUY IT HERE: $77 per gram

The Ispire Daab

The Product:

Futuristic yet simple, the new Daab by Ispire takes all of the leg work out of consuming concentrates, making it perfect for beginners and dab bros alike. The electronic rig allows the user to fully customize their experience and is closer to the feeling of taking a traditional dab than other e-rigs on the market.

While most e-rigs deliver a semi-flaccid stream of weak vapor, few recreate the feeling of taking an actual fuck-you-up-dab. This is one of those devices.

Bottom Line:

For experts, take your dabbing to the next level with total control over every aspect of the experience. For newbies, press a button and inhale and be high! This machine is unique in that it allows you to be as involved, or not, as you want with the process of consuming concentrates.

BUY IT HERE: $300

The Dab Rite

The Product:

While we’re on the dab train, did you guys know how important temperature is when it comes to dabbing? While stereotypically you think of someone coughing into oblivion after hitting a dab rig, that’s really only when the rig is too hot. Not only does it make you cough, you eviscerate all the delicate chemical compounds that get you high instead of vaporizing them.

So not only are you harming yourself, you’re missing out on a lot.

Bottom Line:

The Dab Rite is a thermometer for your dab rig that ensures you get the perfect hit every time. This takes the guessing out of waiting for the perfect temp to hit it. Let’s make dabbing cute in 2022. No more vomit-inducing coughing fits.

BUY IT HERE: $250

Tower Quest Prerolls

The Product:

Tower is the preroll brand by Source Cannabis, which grows some of the best weed on the California market. They’ve been around since 2003, which is all but unheard of in this brutal ass industry. So clearly, they know what they’re doing.

You can tell a lot about a brand by what their pre-rolls are like. If they’re loose and shitty, the weed inside probably sucks, too. Towers are a reflection of Source’s meticulous practices.

Bottom Line:

These are high-quality joints that are perfect in every way. My favorite pack for New Year energy is Quest, a sativa dominant hybrid strain that makes every day an adventure.

BUY IT HERE: $50

Wellfounded Botanicals Relax Tincture

The Product:

Let’s end out this list with the most utterly relaxing experience the weed world has to offer. Because at the end of the day, it’s hard being us right now. It’s sad, alienating, and we’re all so fucking sick all the time. We deserve to be pampered. This tincture has become one of my favorite ways to self-soothe.

Wellfounded Botanicals is a woman-owned company out of Santa Barbara that grows all their own flower on their farm, which is really important when it comes to products. Always go for the brand that cares enough to really make a product that’s truly their own. It’s a whole different tier than people who just put any old shitty weed in their products. You can feel the love.

Bottom Line:

The Relief tincture is a ratio tincture with a ton of THC and CBD that makes you feel like you’ve left your body and gone to heaven, and… maybe it’s 2005 again.

BUY IT HERE: $90

After Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige announced that production on Black Panther: Wakanda Forever would be paused while Letitia Wright healed from her injuries (that were more serious than the studio realized), rumors began swirling that Wright would be fired from the franchise due to her alleged unvaccinated status. The actress had previously deleted her social media account after sharing a video where a pastor called the COVID vaccine the “Mark of the Beast” while also espousing transphobic views, which only further led to speculation that she was running afoul of Marvel.

However, those widespread rumors appear to be unfounded as the BBC reports that Wright has returned to the set of Wakanda Forever and production has officially resumed on the sequel:

Production was halted in November but has now resumed, according to Wright’s representative and Marvel’s parent company Disney. Wright’s spokesperson told BBC News: “Filming resumed this month as planned and we’re on schedule.” The film is due to be released this November.

As for how Wright was able to fly from London to the U.S. despite reportedly being unvaccinated, well, that has not been addressed, but at this point, it appears to be a fool’s errand to speculate on her status with the Black Panther franchise. Despite the internet’s collective thinking on Wright not returning, that ended up clearly not being the case. Now, the interesting question is whether the sequel will follow the comic books and — spoilers for people who haven’t read the comics — pass the mantle of the Black Panther down to Wright’s character Shuri, and how will fans receive that development following her anti-vax controversy.

(Via BBC)

Yellowjackets (Sunday, Showtime 10:00pm) — Following Doomcoming, there’s plenty of fallout in the wilderness. In the present, though, it’s 25-year class-reunion time with the group digging deep with one last attempt to vanquish trauma. However, they’re dealing with both false alibis and damning evidence in the process. This piece of slow-burn splatter art has been captivating the masses with plenty of mystery and just enough supernatural spookiness to make the story work. If you haven’t caught up yet — and the cast, including Juliette Lewis, Christina Ricci, Tawny Cypress and Melanie Lynskey, is phenomenal — there’s still time to really start theorizing before this finale.

The Tragedy of Macbeth (Apple TV+ film) — Joel Coen adapts the Shakespearean work in a way that’s never been bolder. Denzel Washington and Frances McDormand star with all of the murder, ambition, wrath, and madness that one would expect from this story, and expect a stripped-down take on what matters most to communicate this quintessential power-struggle tale.

Here’s some regularly scheduled programming:

Saturday Night Live (Saturday, NBC 10:29pm) — Host Ariana Debose and musical guest Roddy Ricch.

Euphoria (Sunday, HBO 9:00pm) — The sad pancakes are all gone, and Rue and Jules have touched base again. This season will get dark again after Rue’s relapsed and may have descended into the drug trade.

The Righteous Gemstones (Sunday, HBO 10:00pm) — The godawful God Squad’s becoming a bigger problem for Kelvin while Eli’s revealing a difficult reality and the Gemstone siblings are working to uncover their dad’s not-a-great-look past.

Somebody Somewhere (Sunday, HBO 10:35pm) — After a woman loses her older sister to death, she’s fighting with her other sister but finds an unexpected connection with a colleague.

Here are some more streaming picks:

After Life: Season 3 (Netflix series) — Ricky Gervais returns as Tony, the widower who decided to not commit suicide out of impression but, instead, to take his angst out in the world. He fancies this attitude to be a Super Power, all while everyone around him grows concerned. This final season sees Tony still struggling with enormous grief but realizing that he actually enjoys making people feel good. It’s both an end and a beginning to this story, and here’s to the celebration of hope.

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (Amazon Prime movie) — Selena Gomez returns to her voice role with a chapter that follows Van Helsing’s new invention that turns monsters into humans and vice versa. As a result, there’s utter chaos and a frantic race against time before those transformations turn into undoable afflictions.

Use of Force: The Policing of Black America (Peacock documentary) — Public Enemy’s Chuck D narrates this film that examines how Black men and women all-too-commonly experience police brutality. The truth isn’t pretty, and we’ll see an examination of how victims’ names rise front and center into the headlines and social media.

Sex Appeal (Hulu movie) — A perfectionist and her long-distance boyfriend want to move to the next level, which turns into perfectionist wanting to become a sex expert, and she turns to a good friend to test her skills. In the end, she realizes that head and heart are key to relationships with mechanics not being nearly as important to sex and love than feelings.

1883: Season 1 (Paramount+ series) — This Yellowstone prequel follows up on Taylor Sheridan’s runaway sensation series. This series, however, stars Sam Elliot, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, and Billy Bob Thornton. The story goes back to the travels of the O.G. Dutton family moving through the wild west on the way to Montana.

Cheer: Season 2 (Netflix series) — The Emmy-winning drama of the cheerleading world returns with Navarro Cheer looking to defend their champion status against rivals against the backdrop of the Covid-19 pandemic. Essentially, two charismatic coaches (one from Trinity Valley) are pitted against each other, and their teams will do anything it takes to be real contenders.

The Journalist: Season 1 (Netflix series) — This adaptation of the 2019 Japan Academy Awards-winning movie similarly confronts Japanese scandals and political crimes in a controversial-yet-acclaimed way. The story follows a reporter, Anna Matsuda, who’s a “maverick” and keen to expose injustices within society.

And Just Like That… (Sunday, HBO 8:30pm) — Carrie is still reeling from Big’s death and the mess (including that Peloton) that he left behind. Meanwhile, Charlotte is still desperate to impress, and Miranda’s personal life is a total wreck (Che Diaz!). That pee-filled episode was absolutely horrible, and let’s hope that Carrie’s return to heels continues unabated.

Chipotle is finally dropping a brand new plant-based protein option! For a limited time at all Chipotle locations nationwide, you’re now able to load up your tacos, burritos, and bowls with Chipotle’s Plant-Based Chorizo. The new menu item follows a successful test run in Denver and Indianapolis over the summer, so it comes with some promise and that has us pretty hyped. Mostly because their old plant-based option, Sofritas (introduced eight years ago) is easily one of Chipotle’s worst protein options.

I can go on and on about why Sofritas are so bad (in fact, I have) but to spare you some time I’ll give you the short version: They’re too wet. Going into this tasting, I had my fingers crossed that the new chorizo doesn’t suffer the same fate.

Chorizo is no stranger to the plant-based treatment, soyrizo has been around for quite some time and it’s pretty adept at capturing the smokey magic of actual chorizo. Chipotle’s plant-based chorizo differs from soyrizo in that it isn’t made from soy. Instead, it’s made from a blend of chipotle peppers, tomato paste, crushed garlic, smoked paprika, and fresh peas and is certified vegan (unlike KFC’s plant-based chicken) and packed with a filling 16 grams of protein per serving.

That all sounds great on paper. So… what does it taste like? We hit up our nearest Chipotle to find out.

Plant-Based Chorizo

For this tasting, I decided to try the chorizo in three different forms — team Uproxx is nothing if not thorough. To do this, I ordered three tacos, one loaded up with the plant-based chorizo and nothing else, to give a clear idea of the full flavor, and I also loaded one up with beans, rice, cheese, and mild salsa and another with beans, lettuce, cheese, fajitas, mild salsa and corn salsa, to approximate the experience of eating it in a burrito and salad bowl.

If you’re wondering where the sour cream and guacamole are, always order that shit on the side. You’ll have a better Chipotle experience every time.

Plant-Based Chorizo Naked

Before I bit into this mountain of plant-based meat, I gave it a good inhale. The spices check out — “I’m getting a lot of smokiness and spice on the nose with a slight underpinning of plant-based staleness” is what I have written in my notes. It’s a pretty good approximation of the real deal but by being plant-based it really loses that unctuous, savory, mouth-watering quality that actual chorizo has.

When it hit my palate, I was pleasantly surprised with the flavor — it really tastes almost exactly like chorizo. It has a smokey paprika-forward flavor with a hit of spice that feels fiery and spicy without feeling like you just ate a hot pepper. It’s spicey, but anyone can handle this heat level so don’t be scared if you have a lower tolerance.

Where it suffers is the texture. Like many plant-based meats, this chorizo has an almost grainy texture to it. Where actual chorizo is soft and easy to chew through, this is hard, dry, and mealy. The flavor is good, but the actual product stays in your mouth for way too long. It’s off-putting and downright unappetizing. Thankfully no one is going to eat this “meat” naked like I am, once it’s mixed in with other ingredients I think the experience will be much more enjoyable.

Plant-Based Chorizo (As A “Burrito”)

I mixed together pinto beans, rice, chorizo, fajitas, salsa, and cheese to approximate a burrito and it greatly improved my experience. The flavor of the chorizo is really enhanced once it starts mingling with Chipotle’s other ingredients. The slightly spicy pinto beans play particularly well with the smoky notes of the chorizo while the fajitas introduce interesting sweet and peppery notes.

All of my issues with the chorizo are completely gone in this build, I’m not noticing the dry grainy texture whatsoever. If you’re really looking to up the spice, go for Chipotle’s red hot salsa, which should leave your mouth dancing with flavors and plenty warm.

Plant-Based Chorizo (As A “Salad”)

For my salad-inspired build, I went with pinto beans, fajitas, lettuce, corn salsa, mild salsa, and cheese. I like this build flavorwise but to better approximate a salad I chose to eat this one with a fork (making sure to liberally dip in guacamole) and the off-putting texture was a lot more apparent. Still not nearly as bad as eating it naked, but a little too chewy for my liking.

However, the flavors are great. That corn salsa adds sweetness in a way that differs from what the fajitas provide, and altogether it’s a medley of spicey, smokey, and sweet flavors that really play well together.

The Bottom Line

Chipotle’s Plant-Based Chorizo really exceeded my expectations. While the texture is awful to the point of being unappetizing, once that’s buried under layers of fajitas, salsa, cheese, beans, and rice, it’s not noticeable enough to be a problem and is a major step up from the wet mess that is Sofritas. It’s Chipotle’s best plant-based meat option.

Still, I have one word for you Chipotle: calabacitas. Why the hell doesn’t Chipotle — a Mexican-inspired fast-casual joint — have calabacitas, one of the best vegetarian Mexican dishes and an ideal candidate for tacos, burritos, and bowls? For those who don’t know, Calabacitas are a mix of Mexican squash, tomato, onion, and corn, sautéed in oil and butter and slow simmered until a light stew is formed and then tossed with cheese (you don’t have to do this part if you want to keep it vegan).

No, it’s not a protein substitute, it’s not going to give you a comparable amount of protein as Sofritas or Plant-Based Chorizo, but it’s a wholly vegetarian dish and it’s packed with more flavor than both the Sofritas and Plant-Based Chorizo combined. Calabacitas + Chipotle’s fajitas + beans + the salsa of your choice topped with guacamole = the delicious veggie-friendly option Chipotle fans deserve. Get on it Chipotle.

Find your nearest Chipotle here.

Ed Sheeran’s Suffolk estate is already the stuff of legends. The man behind the first song to ever garner 3 billion Spotify streams, (“Shape Of You,” duh) has an estate with over seven buildings including a pub, a gym, a nearly completed chapel, and a wildlife pond. Also a noted environmentalist, he’s even gone on record to say that he’s looking to buy up as much land as possible so he can plant more trees and “rewild the UK.” Now his latest project might just top it all: a crypt.

According to The Guardian, Sheeran filed an application last December to built a crypt below what he dubs the Wynneys Chapel Hall. The application with the East Suffolk Council is still waiting approval, but it would see the construction of a 1.8 meter by 2.7 meter chamber beneath the chapel floor, dubbed a “burial zone.”

The ongoing construction of the chapel above is said to include a spiral-stair tower and stained-glass windows, adding an ornate structure to the $5 million estate that many have commonly referred to as “Sheeranville.” The countryside property seems to be a modern day Graceland and Sheeran indeed lives on site with his wife Cherry and their daughter, Lyra.

There’s already one complaint on the application request from “Miss Anna woods 1 cambridge,” who as of Friday, January 14th, simply “objects” to the construction request. Sheeran has come under fire from neighbors before, who claimed that the wildlife pond was actually a swimming pool. Sheeran refuted this claim on The Hits Breakfast Radio Show back in June saying that “I just think people just need to mind their own business.”

Ed Sheeran is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Netflix had its biggest show (Squid Game) and biggest movie (Red Notice) ever in 2021. And 2022 is off to a good start with Don’t Look Up breaking weekly viewership records (at least according to Netflix).

With great popularity comes a minor-but-insignificant price hikes for subscribers.

Netflix’s basic plan, which allows for streaming on one screen and no HD, has increased from $8.99 to $9.99 per month. The standard plan (two HD streams) went up by $1.50, to $15.49 per month, while the premium plan (four streams, Ultra HD available) will now set you back $19.99 per month, two bucks more than the previous cost.

A notice on Netflix’s customer-support site says the new prices apply to new members and will gradually take effect for all current members. “Current members will receive an email notification 30 days before their price changes, unless they change their plan,” the message says.

This is Netflix’s first price increase since October 2020, and third in three years. “We’re updating our prices so that we can continue to offer a wide variety of quality entertainment options,” a spokesperson for the streaming service said. “As always, we offer a range of plans so members can pick a price that works for their budget.”

If you ask me, Netflix, I think you should leave… your prices where they were.

(Via Variety)