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Though motherhood has long involved the intangible, yet nonetheless taxing responsibilities of managing a household, we’ve only had the term “invisible labor” to actually define this experience for thirty some odd years.

And if the conversation of invisible labor is still fairly new in the world of adults, how can they teach kids to be cognizant of it?

Sam Kelly, therapist and mom of three, has a pretty cool solution to this, and it starts by tweaking the traditional chore list.

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On her Threads account, Kelly explained that she has ongoing conversations about invisible labor with her 6, 10, and 12-year-old, where she teaches them that “that the very first step in anything getting done around the house (including chores) is NOTICING that something needs to get done and then doing it.”

It’s through these conversations that Kelly realized the chores charts that most parents use miss this “crucial step,” which only “defaults that emotional labor onto me, their mom/the woman, to carry the load of knowing what needs to get done and then doing the work of assigning tasks.”

So, instead of chores, Kelly’s family participates in an activity she calls their “Notice and Do’s.”

“I’m teaching my kids how to first notice what needs to be done around the house and then take the initiative to actually do it on their own,” she writes, with the end goal being for them to eventually participate in “shouldering the mental load (in age-appropriate ways)” without needing instructions from mom.

Post by @samkelly_world

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Long term, Kelly hopes that her kids will not only be more aware of invisible labor that happens every day, but also “have developed the proactive, self-motivational skills to take responsibility for doing it themselves.”

In creating her “Notice and Do” lists, Kelly has also made sure to address—and dispel— inherent gender norms, in both teaching her daughter that it is not solely a woman’s job, and teaching her son to take an equal amount of responsibility.

“This might seem like a crazy fantasy pipe dream. I get it,” she writes. “But slowly, over time…it’s working.”

All in all, other adults seemed to love this approach.

“Those are all great executive functioning skills of planning, organization, perception, attention, working memory and initiation at work. Well done!👏🏾👏🏾,” one person wrote.

“I love this. It really TEACHES instead of just bossing them around. Goes a long way,” another added.”

Kelly’s “Notice and Do” list obviously isn’t a fix-all, but the fact that it’s creating awareness around labor which so often goes unnoticed is such a game changer. Think about how different our society might be if this mindset skill was as commonly taught as the alphabet or time tables.

Thankfully, Kelly did make it easy to teach kids with a free guide, which you can check out here.

When the NBA split the Draft into two days, the idea was to give teams time to reset and explore all of their options for making picks and trades after the first round — and also to get another night (or, this year, afternoon) of TV coverage for ESPN.

The thought was, the second round goes so quickly that teams don’t really have time to talk through deals and having a full day between would create more movement and opportunity to get trades done. That seemed to be the case on Thursday, as prior to the start of the second round of the 2024 NBA Draft, we saw four trades involving eight teams get worked out, with players and picks exchanging hands.

Timberwolves-Pistons Trade

The first trade to get done saw Minnesota send Wendell Moore Jr. and the No. 37 pick to Detroit for the No. 53 pick, as the Wolves drafted a Moore replacement late in the first round with Terrence Shannon Jr. and wasn’t going to have much of a role for him this year. Detroit got to move up 16 spots to closer to the top of the second round, while getting a chance to see what Moore could provide them off the bench.

Thunder-Warriors Trade

The second deal saw the Thunder acquire another second round pick at 52 overall from Golden State, who take on Lindy Waters III (who had a team option picked up to facilitate the deal).

Hawks-Rockets Trade

The third trade of the day saw the Hawks ship former first round pick A.J. Griffin to Houston for the No. 44 overall pick. Griffin had fallen completely out of the rotation last year and the Hawks were able to dip out of the tax with the trade, while Houston takes a flyer on Griffin regaining his form as a shooter from his rookie year in a change of scenery.

Raptors-Kings Trade

Finally, we had the Kings flip Davion Mitchell and Sasha Vezenkov and the No. 45 overall pick to Toronto for Jalen McDaniels. The Kings get some money off their books and will hope McDaniels can bolster their wing rotation and give them a defensive lift there, while the Raptors add a defensive minded guard in Mitchell and Vezenkov was apparently not happy in Sacramento and gets a change of scenery.

Sterlin Harjo is already working on his next project after Reservation Dogs wrapped up last fall, and he’s bringing his buddy Ethan Hawke along for the ride once again!

FX has secured the pilot for The Sensitive Kind, a new series from the Reservation Dogs co-creator and showrunner. Earlier this year, FX’s John Landgraf told Deadline that the series will fill a gap heading into 2025. “We have glaring needs for new dramas and comedies, starting in 2025,” he said, adding that he’s “desperate to find the next great thing” after last year’s strikes and the after effects on the industry.

Now that the series has officially been given a home, here is what we know about Harjo’s latest endeavor.

Plot

While plot details are sparse, the longline is very ominous: “The Sensitive Kind is a Tulsa noir about a guy (Hawke) who knows too much.” Well what does he know? We don’t know. Harjo also wrote and directed the pilot, and filming took place in April in Tulsa.

Cast

Even though we don’t know much about what it will be about, we do know it will be good based solely on the stacked cast of talented actors, including Ethan Hawke, who previously had a guest spot on Reservation Dogs. The buddies go way back! Hawke is also executive producing.

The rest of the stellar cast includes Keith David, Siena East, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Shepherd, Tracy Letts, Kyle Maclachlan and Macon Blair. Killer Mike, Kaniehtiio Horn, Cody Lightning, Michael Hitchcock and Ryan Kiera Armstrong also round out the cast.

Release Date

No exact date has been revealed but based on Landgraf’s comments, The Sensitive Kind will likely debut in 2025.

Trailer

There is no trailer yet, but the pilot was shot, so there could be some footage released some time this summer. Keep an eye out.

Lily Allen might be the only person in David Harbour‘s life who isn’t constantly asking him when Stranger Things is coming back. She has other things on her mind (besides, it’s not for awhile).

On the recent “Listen Bitch! The Sex Stool” episode of the Miss Me? podcast, Allen and her co-host Miquita Oliver discussed all things kink. The “Smile” and “The Fear” singer, who has been married to Harbour since 2020, also got candid about some intimate moments in the bedroom with her husband.

“I wonder if I kink-shame my husband because he often asks for things,” Allen said, “and I’m like, ‘No, babe, it’s not happening.’ I’m not like, ‘You piece of sh*t, how dare you ask me to do that!’ I’m just like, ‘Hmm, headache. Little headache, got a bit of a headache… maybe not tonight.’”

Allen was mostly joking, as she also said, “I’m quite into normalizing everything that people are ashamed about in themselves. I was talking to David about this last night. During the breakdown of my last marriage, I was very, very promiscuous and experimental and I engaged in, well, I had sex with female prostitutes. Sex workers, sorry.”

You can listen to the Miss Me? podcast below.

The Los Angeles Lakers got a steal in the first round of the 2024 NBA Draft. The team stopped Tennessee sharpshooter Dalton Knecht’s slide, as they used the No. 17 overall pick to add someone who can potentially provide some punch on the offensive side of the floor, whether that’s because of his shooting or his ability as a three-level scorer. And while other teams were scared off due to Knecht’s age, an older, more ready-made player really helps the Lakers right now.

Of course, that is not the pick everyone has their eyes on. That would be No. 55, where the Lakers have the chance to select the eldest son of LeBron James, Bronny. It’s unclear if the team would use the pick to bring him on board, but they are the overwhelming favorites to select him. And if it helps his chances, the fine folks over at House of Highlights included him in a video of some prospects doing a start/bench/cut, which you can watch here.

If you would like to get right to the good part, a collection of prospects had to do a start/bench/cut with LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Michael Jordan. Bronny is a particularly fun person to ask, and here is his answer:

Credit to Bronny for giving the answer that will, presumably, go over the best in both his household and with his most likely future employer.

You’ve probably been there. You’re out and about and you see something that just feels … off.

“Should I step in? … But it’s not really any of my business. … And I’m not even sure they need my help…”

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Our gut tells us to speak up, to ask questions, to tell someone. But often, we don’t.

This happened to Malyk Bonnet, a 17-year-old from Montreal. But instead of ignoring his instincts, he acted brilliantly. It may have saved a woman’s life.

Bonnet had been having a relatively normal day until he spotted something suspicious on his way home.

He’d been waiting for the bus after a shift at the restaurant where he works when he saw a man and woman arguing. He sensed a red flag.

“The guy was screaming at her, the girl,” Bonnet told CBC News. “He wasn’t really gentle with her, and I started watching, because I thought he would hit her, so I approached them a little bit.”

The pair asked Bonnet if he could lend them bus fares to nearby Laval, a city about 25 miles away from downtown Montreal.

Bonnet felt uneasy about what was happening. But instead of declining, he decided to get more involved. He helped the man and woman with their fares and told them he was also traveling to Laval (which was not the case).

“My plan was to keep them in a public place where he wouldn’t hurt her,” Bonnet told Dateline NBC. “I decided to be friendly with the man and have him think I was his friend. I played my game and he seemed to trust me.”

After arriving in Laval, Bonnet suggested they grab a bite to eat. At the restaurant, he gave the pair $50 for food and excused himself to use the restroom. Finally having the opportunity, he called the police and told them “someone had been kidnapped.” Officers arrived minutes later.

What Bonnet hadn’t known at the time was that police were already looking for the perpetrator and his victim.

The abusive man Bonnet reported had abducted his ex-girlfriend just hours beforehand.

“We were looking for a 29-year-old woman who was kidnapped by her former boyfriend earlier that day,” Laval police Lt. Daniel Guérin told CBC News. “We believed that man was very dangerous.”

Previously, the abuser spent time behind bars for assaulting his ex and sending her death threats.

Bonnet told Dateline NBC that while he didn’t speak with the woman after police arrived, he could see how relieved she was. “We made eye contact and she had tears in her eyes. She was really happy.”

Unfortunately, this type of tragic experience isn’t all that rare.

While this particular story unfolded in Canada — where roughly half of women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence since the age of 16 — you’ll find similarly alarming statistics in the U.S.

1 out of 4 American women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. What’s more, female victims of homicide are far more likely than male victims to be killed by a current or former partner.

Although it may seem easy to simply leave an abusive relationship in the dust, take it from some women who’ve been there — it’s much more difficult than it seems from the outside looking in.

Instead of passing judgment, you can learn more about how you can help friends and family members who may be experiencing domestic abuse.

Bonnet has become a local hero for his selflessness.

“His quick actions may have saved this young woman’s life,” Guérin said. The officers made sure to collect money so Bonnet could be reimbursed for the bus fares and food he purchased while trying to save the victim. “He now has 500 new friends in our department.”

Thank you, Malyk, for reminding me that sometimes the bravest thing I can do is simply listen to that voice when it’s trying to get my attention.

This article originally appeared on 08.20.15

Bathrobe. Socks. Insurance card. Snacks.

Sound at all familiar? Maybe, maybe not.

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These items would commonly be found on a checklist of things that expecting parents should bring to the hospital with them — in the U.S., anyway.

But what is that list like in other parts of the world?

For Doris, that list included water.

Doris, who lives Morogoro, Tanzania, had to bring her own water to the health center where she was giving birth in 2014. The water she brought was used to clean the nurse’s hands, clean the delivery area, and wash the babies (she had twins!). Unfortunately, the water Doris brought ran out before she was able to wash herself or her clothes, so she had to wait 24 hours before cleaning herself.

I’ll let Doris tell the story herself:

Lack of access to clean water in Tanzania is a very big deal.

Everything turned out alright for Doris and her babies, but thousands of other women aren’t as lucky. But there are ways to help: Organizations and individuals are pitching in to help build water taps, rainwater tanks, and latrines in Tanzanian hospitals, and they’re making a huge difference.

“I want to express my gratitude to the health workers … because they have a great sense of humor with the patients. But the problem is the availability of enough water.” — Doris Alikado

This article originally appeared on 03.26.15

Young kids don’t always pick the best times to have emotional meltdowns.

Just ask any parent.

Grocery stores, malls, and restaurants (or any place with lots of people around) in particular seem to bring out the worst in our little ones, prompting explosive tantrums that can make even the most stoic parent turn red-faced with embarrassment.

But why be embarrassed? It’s just kids being kids, after all.

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Actor Justin Baldoni recently shared a poignant photo with his own daughter and the big lesson he learned from his dad about such moments.

Baldoni, best known for his role on the show “Jane the Virgin,” shared a photo his wife, Emily, took while the family was shopping at the local Whole Foods.

In it, Baldoni, along with his father, stares down at his daughter, Maiya. She’s crying and/or wailing on the floor. Who knows about what. Her body is twisted into classic tantrum pose.

The two men look calm. Almost amused, but not in a mocking way.

They certainly are not embarrassed despite a horde of people around them in the store.

When Baldoni posted the photo to his Facebook, he recalled the way his father used to act during the actor’s own tantrums, and how it helped shape him into the man he is today.

I tried to stay off social media yesterday to connect with my family without distraction so I’m posting this today….
Posted by Justin Baldoni on Monday, June 19, 2017

“My dad always let me feel what I needed to feel, even if it was in public and embarrassing,” he wrote.

The post continued:

“I don’t remember him ever saying ‘You’re embarrassing me!’ or ‘Dont cry!’ It wasn’t until recently that I realized how paramount that was for my own emotional development. Our children are learning and processing so much information and they don’t know what to do with all of these new feelings that come up. I try to remember to make sure my daughter knows it’s OK that she feels deeply. It’s not embarrassing to me when she throw tantrums in the grocery store, or screams on a plane. I’m her dad…not yours.

Let’s not be embarrassed for our children. It doesn’t reflect on you. In fact.. we should probably be a little more kind and patient with ourselves too. If we got out everything we were feeling and allowed ourselves to throw tantrums and cry when we felt the need to then maybe we’d could also let ourselves feel more joy and happiness. And that is something this world could definitely use a little more of.”

The photo, which Baldoni calls one of his favorites ever, shows the advice in action.

There’s a lot of pressure out there on both men and women to be the perfect parents at all times.

But being the perfect parent doesn’t mean your kid never gets angry or frustrated or confused. As Baldoni writes, toddlers are really just beginning to learn and explore the world’s boundaries. There’s naturally going to be a lot of swirling emotions as they encounter things and situations they can’t understand.

What’s important is we don’t teach them to hide those feelings or push them down for fear of ridicule — that kind of emotion-management can come back to haunt us as adults. Working through our feelings, or just having a good cry right there in the middle of the grocery store, is an important skill to learn.

The emotional health of our children is certainly worth a few weird stares from people we’ll never seen again.

This article originally appeared on 06.23.17

It’s cold and flu seasons, folks. During this time of year, we’re all on a mission to avoid the demon viruses that threaten to invade our bodies and wage Armageddon on our immune systems.

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But no matter how much vitamin C we consume or how diligently we wash our hands, we still have to rely on others to be smart about exposing people to their sick germs.

And that goes doubly for kids, who inexplicably do things like lick their own palms and rub communal crayons under their noses.

That’s why a mom’s recent Facebook post about keeping kids home when they have a fever has been shared more than 170,000 times. Samantha Moriá Reynolds shared a photo of a thermometer with a temperature of 101.4 with the following message:

This morning, Sam woke up and noticed her son wasn’t feeling well.
Sam took her son’s temperature, and wow! A fever.
Sam gave her son Tylenol and then…
Sam did NOT send her son to school.
Even after the fever went down a couple hours later, Sam did NOT send her son to school.
Sam missed work knowing that the well-being of her son and the kids who attend his school is more important than work missed.

Sam’s son was invited to THREE birthday parties over the weekend. Sam’s son has been so excited to go, but he will unfortunately also have to miss them because Sam’s son is SICK. Sam knows passing along a sickness would not be a great birthday gift regardless of how bummed her son may be.

Sam knows her son is still contagious until he is fever-free, WITHOUT medication, for 24 hours. If Sam’s son is running a fever at 7am on Sunday, Sam’s son will also not be attending school on Monday.

Be. Like. Sam.

Some parents will give their kids fever-reducing medication, the fever will go down, the kid will feel a bit better, and off they go to school. But fever meds like Tylenol don’t do anything to kill the virus that’s infecting the kid’s body. They just mask the symptoms of the illness and provide some relief to a miserable kiddo. If a fever goes down with medication, the child is still sick and still contagious.

The same goes for adults who try to tough it out by popping a Dayquil before heading off to work. If you want to infect your coworkers and make them hate you, keep doing that.

Granted, some parents may have a hard time finding childcare or taking time off work, and there’s a lot to be said for employers being understanding and granting leave to care for sick children. Our whole society needs to work together on this front to make sure people don’t feel like they have no choice but to send a sick kid to school. But that starts with parents insisting that their feverish kids stay home from school until they are no longer a threat to other people’s health and well-being.

The coronavirus outbreak keeps making headlines and the mounting death numbers from it are making people nervous, but the truth is that the plain old flu already kills thousands of Americans every single year. This season, more than 8,000 people have already died from flu and flu complications, and we’re still in the thick of the season.

The best way to keep illness from spreading is to stay away from other people when you are sick and to keep sick kids home until they are fever-free for 24 hours.

Be like Sam. Keep sick kids home. It takes a village to keep us all healthy.

This article originally appeared on 01.30.20

Freddie Mercury had a voice and a stage presence unlike any other in rock music history. His unique talents helped propel the band Queen to the top of music charts and created a loyal fan base around the world.

Sadly, the world lost that voice when Mercury died of AIDS at age 45. For decades, most of us have assumed we’d heard all the music we were going to hear from him.

However, according to Yahoo! Entertainment, remaining Queen members Roger Taylor and Brian May announced this summer that they had found a never-released song they’d recorded with Mercury in 1988 as they were working on the album “The Miracle.”

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“We did find a little gem from Freddie, that we’d kind of forgotten about,” Taylor said in June, according to the BBC. “It’s wonderful, a real discovery. It’s a very passionate piece.”

That “little gem” is a four-minute ballad called “Face It Alone.” Queen released a lyric video of the song on its YouTube channel, and it’s bringing fans to tears.

The lyrics are particularly heart-wrenching, considering the timing of the song’s recording. Mercury was reportedly diagnosed with HIV in 1987, though kept it a secret from the public and even from many who worked closely with him until shortly before his death.

Comments have poured in from around the world in multiple languages, and the sentiment is universal—people are deeply moved.

“Over 3 million views in one day. To hear Freddie’s voice again is so special. You live forever, darling. The song is heart breaking but then again, Queen’s songs are from the heart and that can never go wrong. Thank you to all who made it happen.” – sweet pea

“One day Freddie said: ‘I won’t be a star, I will be a Legend’ And yes we all agree, he STILL REMAINS A LEGEND even after 31 years after his death. AMAZING.” – Gloria Sousa

“Freddie’s vocal is killing me same today as 20 years ago. Thank You Queen for this amazing gift after so many years. We love You.” – Adrian Kufel

“What to say?? A great magnificent surprise. All I know is that I cried the moment I heard this voice, these words…. Only Freddie. Love this man for eternity.. It seems as if he returned briefly to us!! To send us a message… What a beautiful present for all his fans, for this generation that has had the impact of the pandemic, this strange war, these strange times. So happy and touched to hear this now. Thank you Queen… Thank you Freddie forever !!!” – Fern 19671

“So great to see all the Freddie and Queen fans here today celebrating this song and Freddie’s amazing voice. I love how much Freddie is still treasured. I remember the day he passed away, how I cried. It’s like a gift to get this new song and have his song playing loud throughout the house today. We all love you dear Freddie.” – Sarah-Louise ASMR

Mercury was truly a legend in his own time, and hearing his voice anew almost makes it feel like he’s time-traveled to the here and now. What a lovely gift for Queen fans everywhere.

This article originally appeared on 10.14.22