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Dorian Electra was just confirmed to headline Noise Pop’s 2022 lineup, but that’s not all the hyperpop singer has in the works. This week, they’re releasing a deluxe edition of their 2020 album My Agenda, which features 12 new remixes. To celebrate, Electra shared an eye-catching video to their album’s title track, which, true to the boundary-pushing artist’s brand, is an eclectic mix of internet memes and subculture references.

Like any good hyperpop video, Electra’s “My Agenda” video kicks off with a strobe light warning, which also lets viewers know they are in for a wild ride. In the visual, Electra acts as a dystopian city’s commander, urging citizens to “drink the water” to stay subjugated. But an alternate version of Electra, decked out in pride flags and backed by an army of furries, comes to the rescue.

In a 2020 interview with Uproxx ahead of their album’s release, Electra spoke about their influences on the track “My Agenda” and how it was meant to flip the script on the idea of the “gay agenda”:

“With the track ‘My Agenda,’ before we even considered having those people on it, it was always this military-sounding song. I always imagined it as a military boy band vibes. I thought it was kind of like ‘NSYNC with the orchestra hits and the lyrics. We have actual marching sounds in the song and it’s a parody of how the conservatives can sometimes portray the ‘gay agenda’ like it’s a gay militia or something. I run with that in a self-aware, sort of self-mocking but also critical way. Yes, we are the ‘gay agenda.’”

Watch Electra’s “My Agenda” video above.

My Agenda (Deluxe) is out 11/5 via Dorian Electra. Pre-order it here.

Draymond Green’s name popped up in a report on Thursday morning about Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver. In the aftermath of a Golden State Warriors win over the Suns, Sarver reportedly used the n-word on multiple occasions in a conversation with then-head coach Earl Watson, asking why Green was allowed to say it but he is not.

Sarver denied the incident — which Watson said, on the record, happened — in a statement through his lawyers to ESPN, mentioning that a player on the Suns got a technical foul for using the n-word during a game:

In the case of the Oct. 30, 2016, game versus the Warriors, Sarver and his lawyers wrote that Sarver did not have that conversation with Watson but had one with a Suns player who had received a technical foul for what they said was using the N-word during the game. Sarver said he encouraged the player to appeal the technical foul because Green had used the word in the game — the technical foul was later rescinded by the league.

In response to this story hitting the internet, Green took to Twitter and shared his thoughts on the situation in Phoenix.

This incident didn’t lead to Green getting any sort of reprimand from the league, but in 2020, he drew the NBA’s ire for comments he made about Devin Booker. Green was hit with a $50,000 fine for tampering after saying on Inside the NBA that “They gotta get Book out of Phoenix. I need my man to go somewhere where he can play great basketball all the time and win, because he’s that type of player.”

While the winning has come for Booker and the Suns, it appears Green still believes that there are major issues in Phoenix that were put on display by ESPN.

Lo-fi rapper Steven Moses doesn’t look how he sounds, but his somber UPROXX Sessions performance of the tortured, downtempo singles “Reaper” and “Post Post Mort” instantly eases the cognitive dissonance as he smoothly delivers his sinuous, tightly-wound rhymes. On “Reaper,” he details his struggles with addiction and depression, while on “Post Post Mort” he unreels his nihilistic worldview, somehow both bragging about and lamenting his hedonistic lifestyle with a swaggering, almost off-the-dome style delivery.

Hailing from Hollidaysburg in central Pennsylvania, Moses fell in love with hip-hop through Nas’ seminal debut Illmatic and it shows in his own wordy, borderline cerebral flows and beat choices. He’s also become something of a fashion plate thanks to his decisively left-of-center style, highlighted by dashes of designer offset by his grungy, post-punk posture. His Def Jam debut, 99, dropped in the summer of 2020, and he hasn’t slowed down yet.

Watch Steven Moses perform “Reaper/Post Post Mort” for UPROXX Sessions above.

UPROXX Sessions is Uproxx’s performance show featuring the hottest up-and-coming acts you should keep an eye on. Featuring creative direction from LA promotion collective, Ham On Everything, and taking place on our “bathroom” set designed and painted by Julian Gross, UPROXX Sessions is a showcase of some of our favorite performers, who just might soon be yours, too.

Christmas gifts for the pop fan in your life are officially sorted — thanks to Dua Lipa. Earlier this week, the rising pop icon announced her special edition Christmas merchandise, and it’s pretty freaking adorable. After the success of both her debut self-titled album in 2017, and the lasting power of last year’s never-ending dancefloor shimmer on Future Nostalgia, in just four years Lipa has gone from relative unknown to massive pop star. So, it’s not surprising that her fans would need some holiday cheer to express their love for her.

“Santaaa babyyyy my first xmas merch collection is here !!!,” the singer wrote on Instagram on Tuesday. “Get everything you need for the cosiest holiday yet! Whether it’s for yourself or a loved one, from beanies and hoodies to wrapping paper, I GOT YOU! it’s never too early! #DuaXmasCollection.”

The illustrations on the merch sets are all original works by Seoul-based illustrator and animator Seoyoung, and the items are also very affordable with price points between $15 and $85. Along with sweatsuits — the ultimate Christmas break uniform — the set also includes beanies, a special Dua stocking, wrapping paper, ornaments, and even a Christmas-y Dua Lipa-y mug. There’s something for everyone in the collection, and it supports a rising female Korean designer to boot! Check out some high res images of the options below, all the items are available for purchase right here. It seems like the drop is very limited though, so get the special Dua merch while you can.

Like a SXSW-style city takeover of the San Francisco Bay Area (minus the panels), Noise Pop Festival is back for its 29th annual edition. The festival has long been a champion of independent culture in San Francisco and has expanded in recent years to be a fixture at venues in Oakland as well.

The 2022 edition will take place from February 21st through the 27th and the Phase One Lineup announcement is eclectic to say the least. While Alex G and Dorian Electra are currently at the top, it’s bookings like The Drums playing Portamento, Titus Andronicus performing The Monitor, South African singer-songwriter Alice Phoebe Lou, drummer Makaya McCraven, and ambient producer William Basinski that offer a different experience.

Given that bands like Modest Mouse, The Flaming Lips, and The White Stripes all played small rooms in the early days of the festival, it’s always been a place for discovery of acts that will stand the test of time. It’s also a dedicated showcase for local Bay Area acts who provide the support slots at just about every show, and others like rapper Guapdad 4000 and the doom rock of King Woman that headline their own sets. Showcasing venues include the likes of Bay Area fixtures like Great American Music Hall, Bottom Of The Hill, SF Jazz, Rickshaw Stop, Swedish American Hall, August Hall, The New Parish, 1015 Folsom, and others.

Festival badges are on sale now and tickets to individual concerts go on sale tomorrow at noisepopfest.com. Check out the full Phase One lineup below, the festival poster with artwork by SF-based artist Megan Badilla, and look out for phase two in the coming weeks.

• Alex G
• The Drums performing Portamento
• Dorian Electra
• King Woman
• The Microphones
• Guapdad 4000
• VTSS
• Vegyn
• Quasi
• Titus Andronicus performing The Monitor
• VanJess
• LSDXOXO
• Arooj Aftab
• William Basinski
• Hand Habits
• Moor Mother
• MIKE
• Alice Phoebe Lou
• Makaya McCraven
• Nate Smith + KINFOLK
• Irreversible Entanglements
• Tomberlin
• HUNNY
• India Jordan
• Ian Sweet
• Topaz Jones
• Smerz
• The Greeting Committee
• MAN ON MAN
• Naked Giants
• Papercuts
• Exes
• John-Robert
• Tipling Rock
• Hello Yello
• Spiritual Cramp
• Ragana
• Bnny
• Faten Kanaan
• Enumclaw

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Mia Berrin calls her stage style “High School Americana” — preppy and saccharine, what you’d expect of a band called Pom Pom Squad. But it’s not just a cheer uniform she’s sporting; she’ll definitely add patent leather gloves.

Pom Pom Squad’s first full-length album, Death Of A Cheerleader, came out in June and reflected much of the aesthetic choices Berrin has been making since the band’s inception: a soft, feminine style contrasted with some sort of harshness. Specifically, on this album, Berrin wanted to emulate both red vinyl and red velvet.

“I’ve always been interested in how stagewear can tell a story,” Berrin says. “When I first started Pom Pom Squad and as I was carving out the initial imagery, it was a little bit more straightforwardly inspired by riot grrl and actual cheerleaders and cheerleading uniforms. Now I just focus on an elevated version of that core concept, which is continuing to tell a story, continuing to create a world around the project, but I’ve definitely become more into making custom stuff and trying to go a little bit bigger and more theatrical with it.”

Her custom outfits — which span the likes of a deconstructed wedding dress, corsets, and satin mini dresses — are often made by friend and former coworker Bailey Elayne, a Parsons- and Central Saint Martins-educated designer.

“I have so many people in my life whose art I genuinely love, but there are certain people who your visions just align really suitably [with],” Berrin says. “Bailey’s one of the only people I work with who I’m just kind of like, ‘Alright, here’s the idea, the initial, send me a sketch’ and then whatever arrives that day, I’m always ecstatic about that outcome.”

Berrin cites her “Red With Love” video, for which Elayne created a mini dress composed of numerous thrifted slip dresses alongside a large train and crystal-embellished stockings; she also mentions the corset Elayne made for “Head Cheerleader.” Of course, stage and video outfits have different considerations, whether it’s how the guitar sits over the outfit, if straps or sleeves are going to fall down mid-show (distracting!), or how the colors work on screen.

“I made these two mini dresses … they were for some at-home, live sessions that they did,” Elayne says. “And on the camera they looked so beautiful, and I made matching gloves for both of the dresses and it’s — it made me cry a little bit. I’m obviously very proud of the work that they’re doing and then to see something that I made in such a beautiful setting and shot so well was really a very heavy moment for me.”

When Elayne makes clothes for Berrin, she considers her own “not-well-respected interests,” like bows and pink, and challenges them with their opposites: “Making something cute but researching something in the horror field — how can this be really pretty but visually disgusting, or it’s really sweet, but it’s kind of short and sexy.”

These contrasts are essential — Berrin is always trying to “f*ck up” a trope or “texturally recontextualize a classic piece.” Her work in general is colored by the media she consumed as a teen — criticizing it but “learning how to take the things I love from it.” She cites Rookie magazine, Kathleen Hanna’s “Kill Me” dress (which she recreated), and The Virgin Suicides, a focal point of the “Lux” music video.

“[An] exciting thing about pulling from references is the kill-your-idols moment, in a way,” Berrin says. “You’re thinking about how you can bring your own originality of voice into something that has a lot of reference and loses reference as a way to kind of deepen a story overall.”

When she was younger, Berrin said she dressed for assimilation’s sake. It wasn’t until she started wearing a uniform in high school that she felt the urge to stand out as she “realized that I wasn’t ever going to really fit in with people around me.”

“The teen girl aesthetic — at least, as it was relayed to me as a teenager — it’s definitely predominantly white, and on the aesthetic level beckons to a conventional heterosexual young woman,” Berrin says. “I think part of the reason that I adopted that aesthetic in the first place was to put myself in it; I desperately needed that, I wanted that space and I wanted to be afforded that beauty and softness that I didn’t feel like was afforded to me as a young woman of color.”

That’s a big reason she turned toward alternative media like Rookie and riot grrl music.

“I started to think more about how I wanted to be perceived,” Berrin says. “It’s like, what do I want people to know about me? Do I want people to feel intimidated by me?” She calls it “creating my own story with clothes,” something that’s central to her stage persona and video storytelling.

Her go-to is a combination of hard and soft textures, like a cheer outfit with long, sultry gloves or a frilly white dress with a vinyl harness. In the video for “Crying,” Berrin “knew that I wanted these black PVC vinyl gloves to be this disrupting force in the video that served as the agent of chaos.”

Gloves are a hallmark of hers. “I feel like there’s something about gloves that make you move differently, they sort of change your behavior. I think when I was wearing them my behavior, it’s like you want to move in a creepy, dancey way because it’s just exciting to watch your hands move in this crazy textured fabric.”

“I do love wearing gloves. I wish that I could wear them on stage but I play guitar,” Berrin laughs. “No such luck.”

When it comes to both sci-fi and A-list stars, Apple TV+ is doing a pretty damn good job at swooping ’em all up. Following the streaming service promoting sci-fi series Foundation, Invasion, and Wool, Apple TV+ has revealed a trailer for another upcoming sci-fi project: Swan Song. Unlike the previously mentioned series however, the feature film is decidedly more grounded than galactic and — if it’s half as emotional as its first trailer is — promises to be a real tearjerker.

Directed by Oscar-winner Benjamin Cleary (Stutterer, Glimpse), Swan Song is a science-fiction drama that explores identity and asks how much you would be willing to give up to protect your loved one from pain. In it, fellow Oscar-winner Mahershala Ali (Green Book, Moonlight) plays Cameron, a husband and father who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness during his wife’s second pregnancy. However, before he can share the heartbreaking news with his wife Poppy (Naomie Harris), a scientist (Glenn Close) approaches Cameron with an offer to spare his family’s suffering by creating a perfect replicant of him — memories and all — who will carry on living with his wife and children after his death. Ultimately Cameron decides to go through with the plan, but finds himself in constant mourning and pain as he debates whether or not the choice he made is actually the right one.

In addition to Ali, Harris, and Close, Awkwafina, and Adam Beach also appear in the film. Swan Song is produced by Rebecca Bourke, Adam Shulman, Jacob Perlin, Jonathan King, and Ali and Mimi Valdeìs, and will be released in theaters and on Apple TV+ on December 17.

Like many Indiana natives, Freddie Gibbs is a hardcore hoops fan, however, despite growing up in the Hoosier State, which you might think would make him an Indianapolis Pacers fan, Gary, Indiana’s proximity to Chicago meant the gruff-voiced rapper developed more of an affinity for the Bulls. However, as it turns out, despite being a relatively well-known rapper — he was nominated for a Best Rap Album Grammy this year and has seen his profile rise prolifically since his initial foray into the rap game — Freddie can’t get tickets to see his favorite team — and it’s all Chance The Rapper’s fault, apparently.

At least, that’s what Gibbs attributed his rotten luck securing to on Twitter. “Can’t get no f*ckin bulls tickets cuz they give em all to Chance the Rapper,” he tweeted. It’s no secret that Chance is a pretty big hoop head himself, vowing to get a Chicago Sky tattoo after a recent playoff win (no word yet on whether he’s actually done it), getting shots up (poorly) at Staples Center in Los Angeles after a Clippers game, and even buying his new house just 10 minutes away from Michael Jordan’s estate (which might be a coincidence, but had to leave him pretty jazzed). To be fair, Chance is actually a Chicago native with a longstanding track record of community activism, which might have factored into the favoritism.

But while Chance gets to appear on the Jumbotron at Madison Square Garden, it looks like poor Freddie Gibbs can’t even get in the door at the United Center. While it’s possible — likely, even — that Gibbs is just trolling, as he’s wont to do from time to time (he’s currently engaged in a cheeky tet a tet with Wale over a feature that couldn’t get cleared for Folarin II), here’s hoping he and Chance can work out a timeshare or something, since the Bulls are actually good again (the City of Compton acknowledges your debt, Chi-Town. You’re welcome).

This article originally appeared on 08.06.19

Recently, blogger Jen Hatmaker had a funny conversation with a friend about parenting:

“My girlfriend told me the greatest story. Apparently her 11-year-old also wanted to be a grown up this week and, in fact, not only did he treat his siblings like despised underlings, but when asked what he wanted, he said: ‘I want the authority to be in charge of them and tell them what to do, because they deserve it!’

Well. My girlfriend and her husband are NOT AT ALL MESSING AROUND with parenting. Calmly, evenly, they granted his request to be a grown-up for a week by pulling him out of camp (the underlings still got to go, because they are ‘such children’) and sending him to work ALL DAY EVERY DAY with his dad. He has to get up early and shower and make breakfast for everyone. He has to kiss the underlings before he goes to work and tell them to have a great day and that he loves them. He has to work on a typing project during his office hours. He only gets to eat what his dad eats, because eating like a grown-up is not nearly as fun as eating like a kid.

Want to be an adult? Fine.”

Photo via iStock.

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Hatmaker’s post went viral, with thousands of parents chiming in with their own stories of tough love, both giving and receiving.

The responses were hilarious, poignant, and a sign that the next generation is being parented by extremely capable, if not a little bit diabolical, hands.

Here are five of my favorite stories from the comments about parenting-gone-absolutely-right:

1. Jill Duff’s mom used an embarrassing outfit to teach her sister an important lesson:

“My sister was snotty to my Mom. She called her and pretty much demanded, ‘Bring my band uniform to the high school!’ She’s the one who forgot her uniform in the first place. Then she told my Mom ‘Do not come in the school, that would be so EMBARRASSING. Just wait for me by my car.’

So my Mom did just that. She stood by my sister’s car, in the Texas heat, WEARING my sister’s band uniform. All the kids walking out for the day saw it.

Parenting GOLD.”

And Mom was like… GIF via “Spongebob Squarepants.”

2. Jessica Klick got her sons new shoes … but not the ones they wanted.

Image via iStock.

“Our 11 and 12 year olds at the time were complaining and whining and being ungrateful, saying how ‘hard their life was.’ For boys, the big thing is wearing those cool Steph Curry shoes and our boys LOVE their Currys!

So after hearing the last complaint my husband went to Walmart to buy white maypop leather shoes (the kind you see in geriatric centers) and high white socks. He brought those bad boys home, set them on the boys’ dresser, and made them wear those things everywhere we went. Those devastated boys told us we were ‘ruining their lives.’

I may or may not have laughed like a little girl when I dropped them off at school and watched them do the walk of shame.”

3. Marisa Rodriguez Byers says she wished her mother was dead. And boy, did she regret it.

“I was a wretched, hormonal teenager. At the age of 13 I told my mom, ‘I wish you were dead!’ And at that moment, she ‘died,’ but to me only. (I had younger sisters).

She completely ignored me, didn’t speak at me, didn’t look at me, wouldn’t cook for me, set my place at the table, wash my clothes, take me to school, NOTHING. After 8 days, I broke down in the middle of the night, went to her room, clutched her tightly while sobbing how sorry I was and how much I loved her and that I would NEVER say those words again. I’m 41 years old now, I have NEVER uttered those words or anything remotely like them after that incident.”

After tough love, you gotta hug it out.

4. Jessica Hill gave her daughter a good scare — and, in turn, a new appreciation.

“I was grocery shopping with my three year old when she decided to start screaming for ice cream. There was no reasoning with her in this hulk-type rage. I swear she had super human strength as I struggled to get her out of the cart full of groceries.

I was completely unaware of the two police officers who were witnessing this wrestling match. She was still hitting, kicking, and screaming when I was stopped by the police officers in the parking lot. They thought I had abducted her. This happened long before we had smart phones full of our children’s photos. They tried questioning her but she was still too busy throwing a fit, so I handed her over. I told them she could ride with them because I really needed a break and they could follow me home to see her birth certificate, baby book, etc. They started chuckling as one officer said, ‘Spoken like a true mom!’ I think they were more relieved than I was when she finally cried out, ‘Mommy?’

The officer handed her back to me while the other went back inside the store to ensure there wasn’t a distraught mother looking for her missing toddler. That evening my daughter told her dad she almost went to jail because she threw a fit, and I let her believe it. She didn’t throw a fit in public again.

“Uhh, ma’am?” Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

I didn’t mean to scare her, so after this experience, I wanted to ensure my daughter had a healthy respect and appreciation for first responders. Today, I’m happy to say she is highly aware and appreciative of the police, firemen, paramedics, and military personnel who serve to protect her. “

5. Erica Goodnight taught her son an incredible lesson that he carries to this day.

Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr

“My kid was whining over not having anything to play with. So, without a word, I went to the garage and got a black 50 gallon trash bag and started putting in all the toys that he obviously didn’t even realize were in our home to play with.

I loaded them AND him into the car and we drove to our local homeless shelter and gave every. single. toy. in the bag away. To a child who TRULY had nothing. And you know what? He didn’t even cry. His eyes were opened to the ones who have nothing. He actually enlarged his heart that day. And, we still do it. We still take toys to kids with nothing at least once a year.

Parent win. Life lesson score.”

There’s a fine line between teaching your kids a tough lesson in a funny way and engaging in “humiliation parenting.”

Making children wear a sign that says, “I sneak boys in at 3 a.m. and disrespect my parents and grandparents” or otherwise berating them publicly is a good way to erode trust between the two of you and seriously damage your relationship.

But calling their bluff on a ridiculous demand? Or having a little fun with how you choose to correct their bad attitude? That’s just plain survival.

And that’s what parenting is really all about.

You can read the whole hilarious exchange over on Facebook.

In the meantime, what’s your favorite tough-love story?

This article originally appeared on 01.06.16

Ever wonder what winds up at the bottom of a canal after 15 years?

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

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For the first time since 2001, the Canal Saint-Martin in Paris was drained so it could be cleaned, and the photos of the operation do a pretty neat job of answering that question.

The project began on Monday, Jan. 4, and is expected to continue for the next three months, according to a report in The Guardian.

A lot of what workers have found so far is kind of fascinating. And definitely not pretty. It’s either the remains of the most off-the-wall holiday party ever or a real-time look at a decade and a half of pollution.

1. Here’s what the canal looks like on an ordinary day.

Photo by Coyau/Wikimedia Commons.

What are you hiding, canal? What. Are. You. Hiding?

2. To start the drainage process, a dam was lowered into the canal.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Presumably, there are dozens of dudes just out of frame, muttering, “I could lift that,” to each other.

3. Then, before anything else could happen, workers had to go in and dig out all the fish.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Here, fishy fishy fishy! The canal cleaners remove the fish the old fashioned way — by catching them by hand with long nets. According to a Vice News report, the deadline for all the fish to be extracted is Friday.

4. And carry them gently to safety…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

5. …where a full accounting was made of all the fish.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

The fish are weighed and identified before they’re relocated. Not a particularly comfortable set-up for the fish, but far better than the alternative.

6. Meanwhile, clean-up crews got to check out all the cool, gross stuff the canal had been hiding, including … a suitcase.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Best/worst. Work. Party. Ever.

7. A traffic cone.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

8. A shopping cart.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

“I said three heads of garlic and FIVE lemons!!!”

9. An office chair.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Seriously. I am so bummed I missed this company holiday party.

10. Bikes…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

11. …bikes…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

12. …and more bikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Stop pushing your bikes into the river, people!

13. A couple of upturned tables.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

14. A shopping bag, a chair, and some sort of bedspring(?).

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

15. A dolly.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

I feel this way at the end of a big move too, tbh.

16. Motorbikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Seriously?? I’d have taken them.

17. A pile of bikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

I’m starting to sense a pattern here…

18. A mysterious block of some kind.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

All hail the block.

19. At least one can of Heineken.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Crunk was obviously got.

20. A bunch of old bottles and twisted metal.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

The canal is located in one of Paris’ more hangy-outy spots, and it shows. Plastic in waterways, unfortunately, is pretty terrible for most wildlife. And there’s a lot of it floating around our oceans and rivers. Too much, in fact.

21. And basically, just generally, a collection of the grossest trash on Earth.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Yeeewwwww. Just. Yeww.

There’s a lesson here, people.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

While it does make for a bunch of great photo ops, we should definitely stop throwing our trash in rivers and oceans. It adds up. Especially over decades. (Just take a gander at the gigantic patches of gross human trash floating around the Pacific Ocean right now.)

Especially if what we’re throwing in there is a full-on motorbike.

Again, seriously? Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Waterway pollution kills over a million seabirds, more than 100,000 marine mammals, and costs billions of dollars — dollars that could be better spent elsewhere — to clean annually.

So don’t do it.

Or guess who’s going to have to tidy up after you.

“That’s right, humans. And I don’t even have hands.” Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.