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While there’s no denying that streaming has become a major part of internet culture and — for 140 million Twitch users a month — a major part of our day-to-day lives, there still seems to be a lot of intrigue and even confusion around the topic. I mean, for starters, why do we like watching other people play games we could, in theory, play ourselves? What makes for a successful streamer? And, perhaps most importantly, just why is streaming so important? We here at UPROXX Edge decided to find the answers to these questions.

In this episode of Recon, AJ Lodge and I are sitting down to share with you our thoughts on streaming and how it can be a force for good. From providing audiences with a place to feel at home as they riff over games alongside friends, to creating an online arena where fans can come together to cheer on their favorite esports stars and speedrunners as they shatter records and set new high scores, streams are a space where communities are created and nurtured. They also act as a place for marginalized identities to find like-minded peers and content creators with whom they can identify and feel safe.

However, it’s also important to note that Twitch and other streaming services aren’t just about video games! There are plenty of cosplayers, podcasters, artists, and musicians around that bring new, exciting, and dare we say even educational content to millions at home every day. And I haven’t even mentioned how streaming has also become a fantastic way to raise money and support for worthwhile causes all across the globe!

If all this has you wanting to give streaming a try yourself, we end with a few pieces of advice and encouragement for aspiring streamers. Be sure to give the show a watch above and comment on some of your favorite streamers who deserve some love below.

Sometimes the best new R&B can be hard to find, but there are plenty of great rhythm-and-blues tunes to get into if you have the time to sift through the hundreds of newly released songs every week. So that R&B heads can focus on listening to what they really love in its true form, we’ll be offering a digest of the best new R&B songs that fans of the genre should hear every Friday.

This week, Masego leads the way with his latest single, “Garden Party.” It’s a sultry and melodic release that finds life in the growing romance between two lovers. Tone Stith also delivers a song of his own with “I Don’t Wanna,” a track that’s set to appear on his upcoming project, Still FWM?. Speaking of projects, RINI arrives with his debut album Constellations. Complete with appearances from Wale and Maeta, it’s a 12-track effort that listeners will surely enjoy.

Masego, Big Boi & JID — “Garden Party”

Masego is getting back to work after a few months off and his return to action comes with his brand new single, “Garden Party.” The track invites two lyricists from rap’s modern and past generations, JID and Big Boi, for a sultry and melodic tune that finds its place in the middle of a party filled with romance and a battle of the bands. The track comes after he shared his Studying Abroad: Extended Stay back in May.

RINI — Constellations

Since the release of his 2018 EP, After The Sun, Australian-born and LA-raised singer RINI has been worthy of attention from R&B lovers. Highlights like “Aphrodite” and “Good Intentions” made it easy to fall in love with the singer. RINI supplies another example of great music with his debut album, Constellations, a project that arrives complete with 12 songs and features from Wale and Maeta.

Tone Stith — “I Don’t Wanna”

With his upcoming project Still FWM?, a presumed extension of his 2020 release FWM, on the way, Tone Stith returns with “I Don’t Wanna.” Stith’s majestic vocals are once again at the forefront as he finds himself begging for the presence of his lover. Patience is not something he has so he calls for them to quickly make their way over to him for a night of love and intimacy.

Juls — Sounds Of My World

Two years after hitting the world with Colour, British-Ghanian producer Juls is back to work with his latest full body of work, Sounds Of My World. The 15-track project comes attached with guest appearances from Wizkid, Jaz Karis, Fireboy DML, Mannywellz, Prettybou D-O, Oxlade, Tay Iwar, and more.

Koffee — “West Indies”

Koffee had a phenomenal entry to the music world back in 2019 thanks to records like “Toast” and “W” with Gunna. Her excellence continued last year with singles that included “Lockdown” and “Pressure.” She’s back in 2021 with her latest release “West Indies,” meaning all of that could change very soon.

Keith Sweat — “Can’t Nobody” Feat. Raheem DeVaughn

When it comes to R&B, Keith Sweat and Raheem DeVaughn are two people you can guarantee to arrive with a very solid song for you to enjoy. That’s exactly what the duo did on their latest release, “Can’t Nobody.” The spirited release finds both acts professing their trust and love in their partner while making it clear that “can’t nobody tell me sh*t about my baby.”

Robert Glasper, D Smoke & Tiffany Gouche — “Shine”

Last year, Robert Glasper called on HER and Meshell Ndegeocello for their amazing single, “Better Than I Imagined.” This time around, Glasper looks to work this same R&B magic with Tiffany Gouche and a little help from rapper D Smoke. Together, the trio touches down with “Shine,” a jazzy record propelled by a slick verse from D Smoke and warm vocals from Tiffany Gouche.

Kallitechnis — Because It Feels Good

After starting things off with “Outta My Way” with British rapper 23 Unofficial, singer Kallitechnis arrives with her new EP Because It Feels Good. It’s her follow-up to her 2020 EP Blends Vol. II, and this time around, she lets her vocals fly across six songs that also deliver additional guest appearances from ROMDerful, Jarreau Vandal, Kofi, Scott Quinn, Maths Time Joy, and Loxe.

Zlatan — “Ale Yi”

Nigeria’s own Zlatan has continued to deliver strong contributions to the afrobreats world in 2021. From his Mainland To Island EP with Oladips this past spring to his “Alubarika” with rising artist Buju, Zlatan’s consistency is something to note this year and it continues with his latest drop, “Ale Yi,” a song that’s guaranteed to have you dancing.

Mayorkun — “Back In Office”

Nearly three years after he released his debut full-length project, Mayor Of Lagos, Mayorkun makes his return to the music world official with “Back In Office.” The track is the latest single off his upcoming second album, which is also titled Back In Office, and it’s set to release on October 29. Until then, you can watch the music video for the new song and stay tuned for more about Back In Office.

Jordan Ward — Remain Calm

Jordan Ward is someone I first discovered back in 2017 thanks to “Lalaland,” the highlight record from his EP A Peak At The Summit. Almost four years later, Ward is still moving full steam ahead with his latest project, Remain Calm. The project arrives with five songs that find him moving towards a greater good as well as being “new” and renewing oneself day in and day out.

Ilham — “Gang Signs”

Moroccan-born and a resident of New York’s Queensbridge borough, Ilham arrives fresh off her signing to Def Jam with her brand new single, “Gang Signs.” The track dives into the uncertainty that a relationship presents both sides are afraid to show their true emotions to each other. “’Gang Signs’ is about loving someone, wanting to ride or die for someone, wanting to fully be immersed in someone’s world, but then also having a protective wall that doesn’t allow the both of you to fully give in,“ said Ilham of her endearing new track.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Donald Trump hasn’t announced if he’s going to run for president again in 2024, but it seems like an inescapable possibility. He’s already teasing a new campaign slogan — “Make America Great Again, Again” — and holding campaign-style rallies in red states.

Jon Stewart thinks we should be ready for the inevitable.

“I think he’s got it. He’s got a very good chance. And they’re smarter about it,” he said over the weekend at The New Yorker Festival. “The danger of the coup — again, Jan. 6 is the TV event moment of it. It’s the special that came out. And that’s what all the TV networks were focused on.” Trump is “brilliant at understanding what will drive the television narratives,” The Problem with Jon Stewart host noted, and the ratings prove it.

Stewart laid out his theory for how it could happen:

“What I think they really learned from this exercise was there are really specific pivot points within the American electoral system,” he elaborated. “And those pivot points are generally the administration of elections run by partisans, but not ideologues. In other words, a lot of those, a lot of the real mechanics and logistics of elections are run by Democrats or Republicans, partisans, but they are administrative positions. If he can replace the administrative functionaries with ideologues, he’s removed almost all of the guard rails that stopped this present one.”

Stewart thought Trump would disqualify himself with everything he said and did before the 2016 election, but “for those of us who have been in New York, we probably saw like, if nothing else, the dude’s resilient. Like very few people can bankrupt that many things and still continue on with that kind of success.” Just not as much success as before.

(Via the Hill and Raw Story)

Over the past two years or so, Justin Bieber has perpetuated a fake feud with Tom Cruise. Now, things have been taken to a new level, as he attempted to have a fake feud with a fake Tom Cruise.

There’s a popular TikTok account that shares deepfake videos of Tom Cruise, created by visual and AI effects artist Chris Umé and Cruise impersonator Miles Fisher. The account has been profiled by outlets like CNN and the videos routinely rack up tens of millions of views.

Anyway, Bieber recently stumbled across an August upload of the fake Cruise playing guitar and singing a song about social media. Bieber shared the clip on his Instagram Story and wrote (as The Daily Dot notes), “@tomcruise I’m impressed with your guitar skills, But you could still catch these hands my boy.” He then added, “ALL JOKES ASIDE @tomcruise your shredding on that guitar.” Bieber even went as far as performing a brief cover of the song.

A couple hours later, Bieber realized he had been duped, as he deleted his posts and wrote, “That’s not really Tom Cruise? Lol, oh well, still hilarious.”

Umé previously noted that his intention with the Cruise videos isn’t to trick people, telling NBC News earlier this year, “The important thing is, we didn’t want to fool people at any moment. If I can help in creating awareness, or even work on detection in the future, I would love to.”

One of the breakout stars of the 2021 NBA Playoffs was Terance Mann, as the Clippers young wing stepped into a major role for L.A. in their run to the Western Conference Finals after Kawhi Leonard suffered an ACL injury.

Mann averaged 7.6 points and 2.7 rebounds per game in the postseason, showing that he could produce in the postseason on par with his regular season output. Mann was a terrific spot-up shooter, hitting at a 41 percent clip in the regular season and bumping that up to a 43 percent success rate in the playoffs, and he found himself stepping up in key moments throughout their playoff run on both ends of the floor. The former second round pick has two years remaining on his contract, making just under $2 million per year in each, and on Tuesday, the Clippers worked out an extension to keep him in L.A. through the 2024-25 season that will guarantee him some financial security with a 2-year, $22 million extension, as reported by The Undefeated’s Marc Spears.

“It is with tremendous honor and pride that I sign this extension with the Clippers,” Mann told The Undefeated in a statement. “The faith and commitment in my development and contribution thus far will provide me the motivation I need as I continue to be a pivotal part of our championship run. I want to thank the front office for this opportunity to remain a part of the Clipper Nation. I would also like to thank my coaches and teammates for believing me and allowing me to grow both on and off the court.”

The extension makes sense for both parties, as Mann ensures that he cashes in on his terrific sophomore campaign, while the Clippers lock in one of their homegrown contributors on a deal that will keep him in L.A. through the same period as Paul George, Kawhi Leonard, and the rest of their core. It’s very possible this looks like a bargain for the Clippers once Mann reaches these extension years, but they also reward Mann in the immediate for his contributions last year rather than waiting to see if he can replicate that same production again this season.

The spooky season is in full swing, and with it, people are getting into the spirit of pro-vaccine displays, which take aim at those anti-vaxxers who claim that they want to do their own “research,” rather than listen to the WHO and the CDC.

As the above video shows, local news stations are getting into the coverage game for these displays. Via Raw Story, a couple in Park Ridge, Illinois, spoke with ABC7 to reveal their inspiration, which didn’t spring from ill intent, although some anti-vaxxer-graffiti artist clearly wasn’t amused by the “I’d rather die than comply” and “Ivermectin believer” signboards. They destroyed the display with spraypaint within a few hours, yet as Wanda Siggs told the outlet, “I don’t know if we were really trying to make a statement, it sounded funny so we did it. Most people have stopped and talked and liked it. I had one this morning who didn’t like it at all.” Her husband, Ted, pushed back, too: “Right up the street there are signs that say, ‘unmask the children, keep my school unmasked.’ We all have a right to express our opinion. It doesn’t mean we have the right to destroy someone else’s opinion.”

Surely, these displays will keep on coming, regardless of any amount of spray paint. What a mess, but here’s another display that’s receiving the TikTok spotlight with signs including “I refuse to live afraid” and “I don’t know what’s in it.”

Trick or treat, y’all

(Via Raw Story)

Indie music has grown to include so much. It’s not just music that is released on independent labels, but speaks to an aesthetic that deviates from the norm and follows its own weirdo heart. It can come in the form of rock music, pop, or folk. In a sense, it says as much about the people that are drawn to it as it does about the people that make it.

Every week, Uproxx is rounding up the best new indie music from the past seven days. This week we got the an impressive new single from Mitski, the intense new album from The World Is…, and another beautiful Big Thief single. Check out the rest of the best new indie music below.

While we’re at it, sign up for our newsletter to get the best new indie music delivered directly to your inbox, every Monday.

James Blake – Friends That Break Your Heart

Two years removed from the release of Assume Form, James Blake is back with his fifth studio album. Friends That Break Your Heart is an impressive new entry to Blake’s catalogue, chock full of contributions from his famous friends, including SZA, Finneas, and his girlfriend Jameela Jamill.

Porches – All Day Gentle Hold !

Porches has been more or less prolific over the last decade or so, with each release building upon the last. Aaron Maine’s latest effort, All Day Gentle Hold !, might just be his finest to date, incorporating all of the sounds that have generated hype around the project while channeling all influences and sonic experimentation into an impressively succinct 25-minute album.

Magdalena Bay – Mercurial World

After gaining a cult following from their 2020 EP, A Little Rhythm And A Wicked Feeling, Magdalena Bay set their sights on a full-length debut. The resulting Mercurial World finds Mica Tenenbaum and Matthew Lewin reveling in the insanity of isolation by creating a musical world that they could fully live within. It’s an impressive debut for the duo, one that sets the bar quite high for what’s to come.

The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die – Illusory Walls

It’s been four years since we last heard from legendary emo outfit The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die. Now, the band is back with Illusory Walls, which Steven Hyden called in a recent Indie Mixtape newsletter “their most intense effort yet.” Featuring two tracks with runtimes longer than 15 minutes, it’s clear that the band has a lot to say, and they’re not going to be shy about it.

Mitski – “Working For The Knife”

After years of silence, Mitski suddenly returned last week with the new song “Working For The Knife.” Hopefully our first taste of a new album, the song is built atop asynchronous beats and Mitski’s signature vocal styling as she sings about what she described in a statement as “going from being a kid with a dream, to a grown up with a job, and feeling that somewhere along the way you got left behind.”

Gang Of Youths – “The Man Himself”

Gang Of Youths have been popping up here and there over the last few months, building anticipation for their forthcoming studio album. “The Man Himself” looks to be the first proper preview of that as-yet-untitled album, which Adrian Spinelli describes for Uproxx as opening with “pristine strings that unfurl into a drum and bass beat before Le’aupepe delivers the song’s chorus with an emotive tour de force akin to Bono.”

Big Thief – “Change”

Just a few days after announcing that their new album is going to be a massive 20-track double LP, Big Thief shared another new single. “Change” falls into Adrianne Lenker’s description of the new album as featuring tracks that are “raw and no fat, just songs, and acoustic.” After dropping the soaring, almost shoegaze-inspired “Little Things,” the latest single shows the wide spectrum of sounds that will appear on the new record.

Tears For Fears – “The Tipping Point”

For the first time in 17 years, we have new music from legendary English dream pop band Tears For Fears. “The Tipping Point” incorporates all of the intensity and melodrama that brought the band to prominence in the mid-80’s, channeled through a modern lens. The timing of the new song couldn’t be better, as fans (like myself) have been revisiting albums like Songs From The Big Chair to celebrate the incoming spooky season.

Tonstartssbandht – “Pass Away”

Florida-based due Tonstartssbandht is prepping their first album since 2017, and the forthcoming Petunia “feels like a potential breakthrough,” wrote Steven Hyden in a recent Indie Mixtape newsletter. New single “Pass Away” features vocal stylings reminiscent of Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young over dreamy 12-string guitars as the track picks up speed and drives toward an extended melodic guitar solo section. Everything I’ve just described is something we need more of in 2021.

Diners – “Brain Song”

Arizona solo act Diners is gearing up to announce a new record to close out 2021, but for now, Tyler Blue Broderick has graced us with one of the simplest and most infectious hooks in recent memory. Layering groovy, warbling instrumentals with straightforward vocals, “Brain Song” will be a fall playlist staple.

Talker – “Sad Chick”

Talker’s “Suck Up” was one of my favorite tracks of 2020, and it was very exciting to get new music from Celeste Tauchar in my inbox last week. “Sad Chick” is another excellent pop punk-inspired track that is built upon drum machines and soundscapes, vulnerable in its songwriting but empowering in its delivery.

Bent Knee – “Queer Gods”

Bent Knee make a type of avant garde alternative music that’s reminiscent of Glass Beach, which is to say that it resists genre conventions and creates a world unto its own. “Queer Gods” previews the forthcoming album Frosting, and has flourishes of horns, synthesizers, and smooth vocals that will certainly make Bent Knee stand out from the crowd.

Near Tears – “Love Under Surveillance”

“Love Under Surveillance,” the latest track from Southern California-based artist Near Tears (aka Justine Dorsey) takes cues from the classic era of new wave bands that played at CBGB in New York. The inspiration is clear in Dorsey’s vocal delivery and the clean guitar arrangements, echoing the greats like Blondie and The Pretenders. “I grew up in a really manicured place, learning how to be wild,” Dorsey explained in a statement. “Even if it was just from staying in, watching hours of sty footage of my favorite bands on YouTube.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The modern American justice system has proved itself to be exactly that — more of a system than a benevolent entity of justice. It’s driven by for-profit businesses that care little for those reentering society, all in the hopes that they’ll become return customers. In the state of California, the average parolee released from prison walks out with $200 in state funds, mountains of time-consuming paperwork, and the clothing they walked in with. For those without a safety net like family and friends to rely on, that can feel like little more than a return ticket back behind bars.

According to a 2005 study conducted by the U.S. Department of Justice (this sort of study is always on a time delay, as they span years), 67.8% of the 404,638 state prisoners released across 30 states were arrested within three years of release and over 75% within five years. Early indications are that those numbers will only get worse — due to the rise of homelessness across the country and growing economic inequality. According to the Prison Policy Initiative, the rate of homelessness is especially high amongst people who have been recently released from prison, as well as those who have been incarcerated more than once, hitting people of color and women the hardest.

Without a strong support system, the challenge of successfully reentering society is immense. But Alia Kruz — actress, producer, activist, and founder of the Bail Bag Foundation — is doing her part to change that. Her work hopes to fill in the gaps, in a very practical sense, when the justice system fails those awaiting trial or parolees.

Bail Bag Foundation is a Los Angeles-based nonprofit organization that helps formerly incarcerated people transition back into society successfully by supplying each parolee with a duffle bag packed with living essentials.

“Imagine this scenario,” Kruz says, “you’re released on a hot summer day into the outfit you were wearing when you were arrested four years ago. Then you have to take a two-hour bus across town to get a phone that requires no credit check. The cost of that trip plus the phone is about $110, followed by a sandwich next door for $8. On top of that, a motel at $60 for the night. Now you‘ve got $22 to last you until you find a job, work it for two weeks then wait to receive a check .. all while returning to work in that same four-year-old fit. And this is assuming you got a job in the first week you were out!”

Each bag consists of a full tracksuit, a pair of sneakers, dress shoes, a casual pair of dress pants, a collared shirt, undershirts, underpants, socks, hygiene essentials, and a journal at the cost of around $300. By offering these essentials, Kruz hopes Bail Bag can help get people back on their feet quicker and avoid recidivism.

“I personally shop for each one of these people and I’m telling you the look on their faces when they see that someone has specifically thought of them is so worth it,” says Kruz. “I get it, a lot of these people committed crimes. No one‘s trying to make them the victims. But releasing people into conditions like this is beneath their dignity and likely to create similar conditions to the ones that lead them there to begin with.” She pauses, adding. “Therefore, it’s counterproductive to society at large.”

Kruz hopes that those who have been recently released from prison can use the gear supplied for future job interviews or to return to school. And though it’s a small-scale program, so far it’s proven a success — Bail Bag has provided over 100 bags to recipients in Southern California and has become a powerful resource across six major counties in the Southland, with a steadily growing demand.

Kruz already sees ways in which the program can scale up to meet the moment.

“In-kind sponsorships are huge!” she says. “Partnerships with corporations that are willing to donate items it is key. Sketchers [shoe company] has been so generous with us I don’t even have the words. As we expand, we would also like to do private label to lower the cost of the bags themselves.”

While Kruz’s key goal is to supplement both the items and the empathy that the current prison system lacks, she also wants to educate the public on the challenges that parolees face.

“We see a lot of inmates released without their IDs,” she says. “This seems like a solvable problem, seeing that when citizens are incarcerated all of their information is right in front of them. There should be a two-part system that releases citizens with IDs from the get-go.”

Responding to a system that often seems counter-intuitive is a constant challenge. But Kruz is optimistic that we can strengthen our respective communities by acting as a community. And she’s not shy about asking her own community for support while educating people about the challenges parolees face.

“Just be cognizant of our own social stigmas toward the formerly incarcerated,” she says. “And if you want to support our initiative, spread the word, share a link, tell someone about it, pass it along to someone else who might be interested in supporting or has a similar cause to ours. As of now, we are self-supported so every dollar you gift goes directly to the cause.”

To find out more about The Bail Bag Foundation, check out the organization here or follow Alia Kruz on social media.

Smash Mouth have been known to go viral in recent days, whether they’re performing at a COVID super-spreader event or dragging Rolling Stone writers on Twitter. But earlier this week, the band went viral after lead singer Steve Harwell’s very disoriented performance at a wine and beer festival in New York. Now, just a day after videos of the set were shared far and wide, Harwell has reportedly announced his departure from the band.

The retirement was first announced through a report by TMZ, who claims his “health challenges” had “become too much for him”; The 54-year-old rocker diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, a disease of the heart muscle, nearly eight years ago. According to Variety, the diagnosis led to other major health setbacks like heart failure and Wernicke’s encephalopathy, an acute neurological condition which impacts his speech, memory, and other motor functions.

In a statement given to TMZ, Harwell thanked thanked his bandmates and said his dreams came true with Smash Mouth:

“Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of being a Rockstar performing in front of sold-out arenas and have been so fortunate to live out that dream. To my bandmates, it’s been an honor performing with you all these years and I can’t think of anyone else I would have rather gone on this wild journey with.”

Ahead of announcing his retirement, fans had noticed that Smash Mouth had been performing with a replacement lead singer, but no one could figure out exactly who it was. The band didn’t reveal who the performer was, but did note that no one had been fired from the band.

When it comes to living with mental illness, the notion of gratitude may seem obscure. After all, depression hasn’t always made me a good person, or parent. It has affected my friendships and relationships, making me a shitty daughter, mother and wife. It has negatively impacted my work. I’ve quit (and lost) jobs due to my poor mental health. And I withdraw from everyone — and thing — when I’m in the midst of a depressive episode. I turn off the lights and hide beneath the covers, shutting the door on those I care about and love. In short, depression sucks. Living with a long-term mental illness sucks. But it’s not all bad. In spite of the hurt, loneliness, isolation, shame and pain, there are many upsides to living with mental illness, and I am thankful for depression — and my diagnosis. I am thankful for my mental health condition.

woman sitting on black chair in front of glass-panel window with white curtains

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You see, depression has given me many gifts. Because of my illness, I am able to appreciate the little things more. When I am well, I stop to smell the proverbial roses. I take in the “sights.” Because of my illness, I know my value. I realize my worth, i.e. when I am well, I recognize my power — and my strength. I know that I am more than a feeling, mood or diagnosis. I also know that I have survived “episodes” before and can survive them again because I am a fighter. I am strong. And I’ve made friends because — not in spite — of my illness. Some of the best relationships in my life were forged in the fire. They were formed during depressive episodes and solidified over shared struggles. Over the difficulties we faced and our plight.

Depression has made me resilient. My mental illness has taught me that no matter what life throws at me, I have a chance. It might not be the best chance, or an opportune one, but it is a chance. And it’s what you do with those chances that counts. (And yes, sometimes getting up is resilient. Showering and showing up is courageous and strong.)

Depression has made me passionate. When I am well, it is clear to me how lucky I am and I do not want to waste one moment. I pursue my dreams with fervor and intention. I live life like tomorrow was not promised. I fight for my ambitions, aspirations, happiness and dreams.

Depression has made me humble. Over the course of two decades I’ve learned that I cannot do this alone. I need — and deserve — help. If you live with a mental illness, know that you do too.

Depression has made me appreciate my friends and family more because their love is vast and endless. Even when I am sick and withdraw, from them and the world, they do not give up on me. Their love knows no bounds.

Depression has made me empathetic. Having struggled — a lot — I sympathize when others are hurt or in pain. My capacity for compassion is like a well, endless and deep.

person reaching black heart cutout paper

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

And depression has made me a better person and parent. Because of my depression, I am a better mom. How so? Because my depression is teaching my daughter many things. During my episodes, she learns about self-care, and how to ask for help. It’s okay to take a break, for example. She is learning the power of self-awareness and the gift of saying no. When I am well, my daughter and I talk (ad nauseum) about her feelings. We discuss emotions like sadness, anger, hurt, and pain. And she is learning how to process each one.

Make no mistake: I don’t like living with depression. I wish I would wake up one day and the veil would be lifted. My disease would be gone. I also know I’m extremely lucky. I have the tools and resources necessary to combat my illness. My therapist and psychiatrist are excellent. My medication is well-managed and working, at least right now. But after 20-plus years living with depression — and a smattering of other mental health conditions — the lessons which I’ve learned which cannot be dismissed. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world.

So take that, dearest depression. Take that, my old “friend.” Because I’m living better with you and in spite of you. I’m surviving and thriving today because of my diagnosis and disease.