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This article originally appeared on 01.06.16

Ever wonder what winds up at the bottom of a canal after 15 years?

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

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For the first time since 2001, the Canal Saint-Martin in Paris was drained so it could be cleaned, and the photos of the operation do a pretty neat job of answering that question.

The project began on Monday, Jan. 4, and is expected to continue for the next three months, according to a report in The Guardian.

A lot of what workers have found so far is kind of fascinating. And definitely not pretty. It’s either the remains of the most off-the-wall holiday party ever or a real-time look at a decade and a half of pollution.

1. Here’s what the canal looks like on an ordinary day.

Photo by Coyau/Wikimedia Commons.

What are you hiding, canal? What. Are. You. Hiding?

2. To start the drainage process, a dam was lowered into the canal.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Presumably, there are dozens of dudes just out of frame, muttering, “I could lift that,” to each other.

3. Then, before anything else could happen, workers had to go in and dig out all the fish.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Here, fishy fishy fishy! The canal cleaners remove the fish the old fashioned way — by catching them by hand with long nets. According to a Vice News report, the deadline for all the fish to be extracted is Friday.

4. And carry them gently to safety…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

5. …where a full accounting was made of all the fish.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

The fish are weighed and identified before they’re relocated. Not a particularly comfortable set-up for the fish, but far better than the alternative.

6. Meanwhile, clean-up crews got to check out all the cool, gross stuff the canal had been hiding, including … a suitcase.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Best/worst. Work. Party. Ever.

7. A traffic cone.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

8. A shopping cart.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

“I said three heads of garlic and FIVE lemons!!!”

9. An office chair.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Seriously. I am so bummed I missed this company holiday party.

10. Bikes…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

11. …bikes…

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

12. …and more bikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Stop pushing your bikes into the river, people!

13. A couple of upturned tables.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

14. A shopping bag, a chair, and some sort of bedspring(?).

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

15. A dolly.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

I feel this way at the end of a big move too, tbh.

16. Motorbikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Seriously?? I’d have taken them.

17. A pile of bikes.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

I’m starting to sense a pattern here…

18. A mysterious block of some kind.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

All hail the block.

19. At least one can of Heineken.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Crunk was obviously got.

20. A bunch of old bottles and twisted metal.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

The canal is located in one of Paris’ more hangy-outy spots, and it shows. Plastic in waterways, unfortunately, is pretty terrible for most wildlife. And there’s a lot of it floating around our oceans and rivers. Too much, in fact.

21. And basically, just generally, a collection of the grossest trash on Earth.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Yeeewwwww. Just. Yeww.

There’s a lesson here, people.

Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

While it does make for a bunch of great photo ops, we should definitely stop throwing our trash in rivers and oceans. It adds up. Especially over decades. (Just take a gander at the gigantic patches of gross human trash floating around the Pacific Ocean right now.)

Especially if what we’re throwing in there is a full-on motorbike.

Again, seriously? Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

Waterway pollution kills over a million seabirds, more than 100,000 marine mammals, and costs billions of dollars — dollars that could be better spent elsewhere — to clean annually.

So don’t do it.

Or guess who’s going to have to tidy up after you.

“That’s right, humans. And I don’t even have hands.” Photo by Patrick Kovarik/Getty Images.

In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.

Image via iStock.

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My husband and I were in shock but thrilled at the news after dealing with infertility for years. And it didn’t take long for the comments to begin. When people found out, the usual remarks followed: “Triplets?! What are you going to do? Three kids at once?! Glad it’s not me!”

After mastering my response (and an evil look reserved for the rudest comments), I figured that was the worst of it. But little did I know I would be facing far worse comments after two of my triplets passed away.

On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.

My daughter, Abigail, passed away that same day; my son, Parker, died just shy of 2 months old. Before then, I didn’t know much about child loss; it was uncharted territory. Like most people, I wouldn’t know how to respond or what to say if a friend’s child passed away.

Image via iStock.

But two years later, I have found that some things are better left unsaid. These comments come from a good place, and I know people mean well, but they sure do sting.

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

1. “Everything happens for a reason.”

It’s a cringeworthy comment for those of us who have lost a child. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen in life. A parent should not outlive their child. I don’t know why my body couldn’t handle my pregnancy or why I went into labor at 22 weeks.

This phrase goes along with another I often hear: “God only gives us what we can handle.” I remember talking with my childhood rabbi the night before my son passed away, and I asked her, “Why me?” Her response is something I now live by every single day. She said, “God doesn’t give us only what we can handle. He helps us handle what we’ve been given.”

2. “They are in a better place.”

Instead of comforting, this is a phrase that makes me feel down in the dumps. I longed to be a parent for so many years. And children are meant to be in the loving arms of their parents.

I think I speak for every grieving mother and father when I say, we would give anything to hold our babies again.

3. “At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings.”

I like to think of myself as a positive person. But even two years later, my heart still aches for Parker and Abby. And on the most difficult, dark days of grief, it’s hard to “count my blessings.”

Yes, I am blessed. I have a gorgeous miracle child who is the light of my life. But Peyton should be playing with her brother and sister in our home, not just waving to their pictures and blowing kisses to heaven.

4. “You are still young. You can have more children.”

It doesn’t matter whether or not our biological clock is ticking. Many people have no idea what couples go through to have a child: Some can’t have children of their own; others may face years of infertility or miscarriages. And for people like me, trying for more children may be something too scary to even think about. I came close to death after delivering my children — that’s enough to scar me for life.

5. “I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t imagine losing two children.”

Some days I don’t know how I do it either. But we learn how to live with it. We learn a “new normal,” and in those tough moments, we celebrate that we survived the day. This comment is a difficult reminder of our grief and the children who were sent to heaven.

So, what should you say to a grieving parent?

There are no words to take the pain away, of course, but simply letting that person know you are there for them is more than enough.

Image via iStock.

For me, the best thing someone can do is to talk about my angels. Say Parker and Abby by name, and don’t be afraid to ask questions about them.

While they were only here for a short time, they left a huge imprint on this world. I love talking about my angels, and simply hearing someone else mention them by name is enough to wipe away the grief and warm my heart for days.

This article originally appeared on 05.06.16

Dads are ridiculous.

Dads, cooking something up. Photo via iStock.

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But perhaps, in the world today, there is no dad quite so ridiculous as Rob Lopez:

Photo via Rob Lopez/YouTube.

On a morning not too long ago, Lopez apparently had the following thought: “I’m going to dress up as Darth Vader and wake up my 2-year-old.”

Photo via Rob Lopez/YouTube.

Clearly, the correct follow-up thought is, “No. That’s silly. Why would I ever wake up a 2-year-old. Like, on purpose.”

But not for Rob Lopez. Oh, no.

After suiting up…

GIFs via Rob Lopez/YouTube, unless otherwise noted.

…and receiving the mission critical sign-off from his wife.

He grabbed his lightsaber and gave it a go. The results … pretty much speak for themselves (fast-forward to 1:05 for the main event).

There are a couple of things about Lopez’s son’s reaction that we should talk about.

First, this child is objectively the hardest core human on the face of planet Earth right now.

He grabs the lightsaber he keeps next to his bed (just in case) and it’s game on, Dark Lord of the Sith.

Game. On.

Think about how you would feel, as an adult person, in complete control of your faculties, with a firm grasp on the difference between fiction and reality, being aggressively prodded awake by a six-foot-tall man in a full-body Darth Vader mech-suit complete with voice modulator and terrifyingly heavy breathing.

Think about how loud you would scream and the volume of pee you would pee into your pants.

Meanwhile, this toddler — who is probably no more than three feet tall, groggy and vulnerable, with no cognitive ability to discern this is not the real Darth Vader — didn’t even think twice about taking him on.

Perhaps the most impressive part? At a mere 2 years of age, he’s already learned, perhaps, the single greatest lesson of “Star Wars.”

You don’t defeat the dark side with mad lightsaber skills (although they are fun to show off).

GIF from “Return of the Jedi.”

You defeat it with compassion.

GIF from “Return of the Jedi.”

…which, in this kid’s case, involves casually grabbing a book and asking Darth Vader to read him a story.

Empathy for Siths — with an assist from curiosity and literacy: That’s a lesson we could all use.

Happy weekend!

Christian Lee Hutson‘s 2020 debut album Beginners introduced listeners to his softhearted songwriting and poignant lyricism. The last we heard from him, Hutson released the 2021 EP The Version Suicides, Vol 2 featuring the musician Shamir. But now, Hutson returns with a brand new standout track that was recorded with the help of some big-name musicians.

Hutson’s new song “Strawberry Lemonade” includes quite the indie music powerhouse. Not only was it produced by Phoebe Bridgers and Conor Oberst (who also make up the side project Better Oblivion Community Center), but it features Bright Eyes’ Nate Walcott on piano and trumpet, Hand Habits’ Meg Duffy on electric guitar, and Oberst and Sharon Silva on backup vocals.

The song itself is a tender acoustic guitar ballad that’s a quite reflection on mistakes and rebirth. It features heart-tugging lyrics like, “Pain is a way you can move through time / And visit people that are gone in your mind,” and showcases Hutson’s intimate songwriting. Speaking about the new track in a statement, Hutson said:

“‘Strawberry Lemonade’ is a series of vignettes about memory, letting go and holding on. I remember talking to a friend, around the time that I wrote it, about the relentless repackaging of 1960’s culture; so some of that ended up in there. The laugh at the beginning of the song is my friend Harry who plays bass on the song.”

Even though Oberst and Bridgers joined together to work Hutson’s track, it doesn’t necessarily point to an official Better Oblivion Community Center reunion any time soon. The last we heard from the musical duo was about a year ago when they released the abortion rights song “Miracle Of Life,” but here’s been no word on more upcoming releases.

Listen to “Strawberry Lemonade” above.

While opening for The Strokes on Wednesday night, Chris Rock slammed anti-vaxxers and NBA star Kyrie Irving during a scorching set in Brooklyn, where Irving plays. As he warmed up the crowd, Rock quipped that he hasn’t been at any shows since COVID. “Has anybody been like, ‘throw your mask in the air, and wave it like you just don’t care’?” the comedian asked before turning his sights on the unvaccinated.

“Where’s my anti-vaxxers at? Where you at?” Rock said in what was clearly a trap. “You f**king dumb Kyrie motherf**kers.”

After roasting Irving and anti-vaxxers, Rock slipped in a quick jab at the Johnson & Johnson shot which he called “the food stamp of vaccines.” Of course, in this situation, Rock is mocking himself for catching COVID-19 last month after going with the one-shot Johnson & Johnson vaccine earlier in the year. However, he didn’t let that experience sour him on vaccination, and while sick with virus, the stand-up comedian tweeted to his fans, “Trust me you don’t want this. Get vaccinated.”

As for Irving, the Brooklyn Nets star still isn’t vaccinated, and the team owner made it clear last week that it’s “untenable” to have a player who can only play in away games due to New York’s vaccine mandate.

(Via Wu-Tang Is For The Children on Twitter)

ESPN published a damning report into the organization-wide culture fostered by Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver. In interviews with current and former staffers, Sarver is alleged to have been a racist and sexist on numerous occasions, including multiple incidents in which he used the n-word. Things were so bad that one person told ESPN, “If the commissioner comes in and investigates to see what the f*ck is going on in Phoenix, [he] would be appalled.”

In the aftermath, Adrian Wojnarowski reports that the expectation is that this will, indeed, happen.

“The expectation now is that the league will launch an investigation into the reporting in Baxter Holmes’ story,” Wojnarowski said. “They have yet to do that, they’re obviously reviewing the reporting now. And then ultimately, I think, for the NBA, this could be a lengthy investigation based on cooperation of team employees. There are, in the story, numerous denials from Robert Sarver about his behavior.”

Wojnarowski went on to say that there are plenty of people who, as illustrated by Holmes’ story, are “very open to the idea of sitting down” with the NBA and going through their claims. Additionally, a statement released by Suns Vice Chairman and part-owner Jahm Najafi indicated that he will offer his “support to ensure there is full accountability,” calling the allegations against Sarver “unacceptable.”

It sure seems like Mayim Bialik’s gaining momentum for the most audience-favored candidate to host Jeopardy! on a full-time basis. She’s made no secret, as well, of her desire to take over the job after she and Ken Jennings finish out the year of sharing those duties. And Mayim seems incredibly comfortable with the job, too, as she welcomed contestant Julian Huerta this week while devoting some airtime to how he celebrated hearing that he’d be on the show.

Julian received the news on a very significant day, and he elaborated in response to Mayim’s prompt. “We actually got the original email that we were gonna be called back to do the audition process,” Julian explained. “And my wife happened to drop the same day that we were pregnant, as well. So, we actually ended up naming my son Alex.”

What an undeniably sweet tribute. “We love this baby name!” the Jeopardy! Twitter account wrote in response.

Not only that, but the pregnancy yielded twins with a girl named Emma. Alas, Julian did not fare too well during his time on the show, heading out with a third-place finish, but he’s got the souvenir of a lifetime. Nothing to complain about there, for sure.

Donald Trump’s former personal attorney Rudy Giuliani is no longer practicing law as he waits for the FBI to conduct their investigation into his dealings with Ukrainian officials pre- the 2020 Presidential Election. He’s also twiddling his thumbs as Dominion prepares its $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit against him for false claims about their involvement in voter fraud schemes during the election last year.

All this to say: Rudy’s got a lot of time on his hands and he’s choosing to spend it by *checks notes* delivering incoherent rants on Steve Bannon’s radio show. Sounds productive.

Giuliani guested on Bannon’s program recently where he let loose a fear-mongering diatribe for the ages, accusing President Joe Biden of being both a cunning, deceitful playmaker on Capitol Hill and an old geezer with a compromised mental capacity. Bannon suggested that Biden had lied about a campaign promise to seek justice for the thousands of families separated at the border during Trump’s time in office after the President told Fox News the administration would not be paying a proposed $450,000 to each family member affected by Trump’s policy. Negotiations between lawyers representing those families and government officials working for Biden are still ongoing and monetary compensation could still be on the table, but Biden addressed that specific figure after Peter Doocy snuck in the question during a press conference on COVID vaccines for children.

So, technically, Biden hasn’t lied about remedying the situation at the border. That process is still ongoing. But please, whatever you do, don’t tell that to Giuliani because raging out on radio shows is all the man has left at this point.

Giuliani answered Bannon’s claim with his own completely unsubstantiated guesswork over Biden’s current mental state.

“He’s certainly capable of looking with a straight face and lying,” Giuliani began. “We’ve caught him in, what, 100 lies. ‘I never met any Ukrainian.’ We’ve got all those pictures all over the place and text messages and he was spending more time with Ukrainians than Ukrainians do. But here’s the possibilities given the present state of his mental capacity: he could be lying. He could have forgotten. Or they may not have told him. Any one of those three things.”

Giuliani went on to express his very genuine, not-at-all contrived distress over Biden’s ability to govern the country given what he views as his deteriorating mental state.

“Who knows with this guy,” he said. “The simple fact is this is one of the most dangerous points in our history. We have a mental incompetent sitting next to a button that could destroy the world.”

Ummm, Rudy? We’re pretty sure you’re thinking about your old boss.

(Via Raw Story)

Megan Thee Stallion has every right to be proud of herself this year. Not only did she continue her dominant reign on the music side, dropping the well-received turn-up tape, Something For Thee Hotties, and land the cover of Glamour magazine explaining how she was inspired as a businesswoman by Queen Latifah, but she also completed the coursework to secure her degree in health administration from Texas Southern, with what sounds like an “A” average despite her musical and business obligations.

After previously showing off her graduation cap — customized with her signature catchphrase, naturally — Meg shared her graduation photos on social media today, taking both traditional shots in a classy black dress and a racier set in her hot pink graduation stole — and little else, baring her booty in a matching monokini with heels in front of a fleet of customized lowriders. “Showed my ass and still went to class,” she celebrated in the caption.

“IMA ALWAYS STAND OUT WITH NO HANDOUTS,” she continued. “Doing everything they said I can’t/couldn’t! Megan Thee Mf Stallion aka the mf Htown Hottie is graduating Dec 11th from TEXAS SOUTHERN UNIVERSITY now go and talk abt that!” She also teased a graduation party, the date and location of which would appear to be either a secret or to be determined, judging from the peeking eyes emoji she used in place of a date.

With her degree out of the way, Meg will be free to go full-throttle on her musical career, should she decide to, although she’s also got some other plans that involve giving back and helping more women complete their own educations as she aims for the sky and proves that you really can have it all.

Narcos: Mexico (which consistently gets high on its own supply) shall soon end a six-season saga that’s revolved around warring kingpins, trucks full of drugs, loads of excess, and the best promo photos in the business. In the midst of it all, a motley crew of characters make themselves inexplicably likable, relative to the bad things they do. It’s such a fun show, despite all the terrible things that happen, and Narcos is one of those joints that fits many moods. It’s action-packed and meme-able, and it’s more intellectual than one could ever realistically have expected, all while giving us giggles along the way. It’s a soap opera full posturing from cartel heads and law enforcement alike. It’s always been more than a little bit macho but never afraid to laugh at itself.

Narcos has been profound as hell, too, and that happens in the most unexpected ways. Like when Pablo Escobar, monster that he was, became undeniably human while enjoying some damn ice cream in the park, and could practically see his soul and how happy and peaceful he felt. He was freed from the prison of his own making, all before he went down in a necessary hail of bullets. And that brings me to what I’ve enjoyed the most about this saga: characters of significance show both shades of darkness and glimmers of light. Yet no one could ever accuse Pablo Escobar of being a good guy. Not even close, despite the Robin Hood thing. His destructive legacy claimed countless lives, and his hippos are still running amok in real life. Yet the point was not to glamorize Escobar, but rather, to question the whole evil-vs-good dichotomy of the War on Drugs. There aren’t too many “good” guys in this show. There are also no winners here, and there’s no ending to it, either.

As I watched the final episodes of Narcos: Mexico, a certain line from Steve Murphy (Boyd Holbrook) echoed in my head. You know the one? “The Devil’s a real letdown” was what he said as Escobar took his final breaths in Season 2. Well how, exactly, does this show avoid being a letdown when the powers that be couldn’t “finish” a story that never actually ends IRL? I won’t spoil how it happens, but I can tell you five ways that Narcos: Mexico satisfies (and season’s tagline actually is “the final blow”) while doing so.

– Scoot McNairy’s heroic mustache frankly rules: I’ve beat this drum already, so I’m getting this point out of the way first. Scoot has made it clear to us that he can’t wait to shave his mustache whenever he finishes up filming, but god, Scoot, just give in to the power of that facial hair. That mustache leads more resonant conversations and does a lot more maneuvering this season than last time. This is a trustworthy mustache, which makes its existence all the more tragic because Walt Breslin isn’t the classic good guy. He’s achingly complex and plagued by personal demons. This season, Walt Breslin kind-of f*cks with his audience, both on the show, and narratively speaking. What happens brings beautifully flawed humanity to the game and wraps things up well. Regardless of whether Walt Breslin’s a hero, that mustache definitely qualifies as one.

– Narcos: Mexico knows that it very well couldn’t put a bow on the ending: The show takes great pains to warn viewers that it’s a dramatized version of actual events in the drug war. So, we can’t expect total accuracy in details, and some of the franchise’s most sensational scenes were embellished; as with Kiki Camarena (Michael Peña) never really holding a gun to his own head, and at least according to Félix Gallardo (Diego Luna), he never actually met with Escobar. Likewise, composite characters (like Walt Breslin) are amalgamated from real-life figures. Narratively, these were the right moves, to add texture to the whole heroes-vs-villain concept. Most major characters here wallow around in their chosen excesses, until they’re consumed, and the “heroes” are no exception. This season, the gleeful prediction from Gallardo comes true. In taking Guadalajara Cartel down, the fledgling DEA inadvertently unleashed a circus of up-and-coming kingpins. And the drug war is still going, but Narcos ends the storytelling with one of its signature touches: those rare, quiet conversations, which add structure to what could otherwise be absolute chaos.

– The show does not cut corners in the stylish villain department: This season ultimately sees the rise of El Chapo Guzmán, who’s positioning himself for the rise of the Sinaloa Cartel and only recently found himself behind bars in real life. His real-life antics are downplayed in this season for the flashier heads of newly independent cartels. There’s the Arellano Felix family in Tijuana and Amado Carillo Fuentes in Juarez. Law enforcement and government corruption, at all ranks, is part of the drill, and the show certainly doesn’t consider the scrutinization of U.S. leaders to be off the table (and rightfully so). There are so many political shenanigans going down behind the scenes, but there are wild theatrics at the forefront. Returning bad guys surface, and there’s a massive crop of new ones. These guys (including one played by one portrayed by Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, a.k.a. Bad Bunny) are so ridiculously stylish and enjoyable to watch because, as Gallardo previously promised, the pact to get along and “prosper” could never last. So many snakes are eating their tails this season.

– We’ve got something of a Ladies Night: The treatment of women in Narcos‘s a low-key but present issue. Kiki Camarena’s wife didn’t receive enough of a story to highlight her real-life activism after her husband’s death. The girlfriend of Gallardo, the cocaine-soaked Queen Isabella Bautista (a leader herself), did prove to be an exception to the cartel rule, which is that women evaporate into the background; or at least, they did not overtly protest their circumstances, which was largely the case with Escobar’s wife. A female journalist who influenced Escobar grew uncomfortably close to him in the process, and all of those women were more complex than one would hope to expect from a “manly” show. Yet this final season delivers different twists on lady tragedy (Femicide in Mexico) and lady power than we’ve seen from the franchise. On the latter note, we receive the first female narrator, a journalist named Andrea Nuñez (Luisa Rubino) who guides us through all of the intricate history that pulls this season together. Her work for a guerrilla newspaper (which takes on the cartels and linked government corruption) sees some of the only truly selfless bravery in all of six seasons.

(Late-breaking update: Viewers should be quite interested to see Narcos and Narcos: Mexico showrunner Eric Newman’s upcoming (unrelated) limited series starring Sofia Vergara as Columbian queenpin Griselda Blanco. Vergara will likely nail that role, and we’ll see a lot of her serial-killing, Miami coke-running action when that story arrives.)

– Finally, the spirit of Escobar haunts the whole joint: There’s no secret as far as timelines intersecting between Narcos: Mexico and Narcos. That’s to be expected from a reverse time-jump between the shows. The wonderful thing, though, is that Wagner Moura (who portrayed Escobar, through his sad clown phase and everything else) returns to direct. And let’s just say that he makes his presence known, and I won’t elaborate, so that you can enjoy everything without spoilers. Narcos: Mexico does have an ending, although it’s a loose one that works both narratively and historically. I expect that this show won’t easily be forgotten (more spinoffs, anyone?) because, like the real-life saga, though, this tale will never truly end, nor will Narcos ever be forgotten.

‘Narcos: Mexico’ Season 3 streams on November 5.