A few generations ago, parents had pretty clearly defined roles, with the dad generally being the breadwinner and the mom being the homemaker/stay-at-home mother. Then women’s rights movement came along, empowering women in the workplace, ushering in the era of two working parents and producing an entire generation of “latchkey kids.”

Now those Gen X latchkey kids are parenting Gen Z, with the pendulum of working motherhood having swung somewhat to the middle. We were raised to believe we could be anything we dreamed of being and that we didn’t have to choose between being a mom and having a career. Gen X also became mothers during the heyday of parenting self-help books that impressed upon us the importance of attachment and hands-on childrearing, as well as the era of super-scheduled kids, whose activities alone require a full-time manager.

As a result, those of us in our 40s have raised our kids straddling two worlds—the one where women can have all of the career success we desire and the one where we can choose to be stay-at-home moms who do all the things. At first, we were told we could have it all, but when the impossibility of that became clear, we were told, “Well, you can have it all, just not at the same time.”

But as many moms are finding as their kids start leaving the nest, even that isn’t the full truth.

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A Facebook post by Karen Johnson, aka The 21st Century SAHM (short for “stay-at-home mom”) nails the reality many stay-at-home moms in their 40s are facing as they find themselves floundering with the glaring gap in their resumes.

“This is for all the moms in their 40s who put their careers on hold to do the SAHM thing because you knew you couldn’t do both—career you loved and motherhood—and do both WELL, so you picked, saying to yourself ‘this is just for now and we’ll see,'” Johnson wrote. “But now it’s 15 years later and so much has changed in your career field that you know you can’t go back. So really, when you ‘took a break’ all those years ago, you gave it up.”

Johnson explained that yes, moms know they should be grateful for the time they’ve had with their kids. Most are. That’s not the issue. Whether a woman chose to be a stay-at-home mom because she really wanted to or because childcare costs didn’t work in the financial equation of the family, the transition out of it feels like completely uncharted waters.

“Okay, so you’re looking for a ‘career’ with part-time hours and a 100% flexible schedule because you’re still Mom-on-duty but you do have *just* enough hours during the day to reflect on the fact that you *do* have a college degree (maybe even 2) and although being a mom is the greatest and most important job in the world, you *might* actually want something more to your life than folding laundry and running hangry children to 900 events and remembering that they’re all due for dental cleanings,” she wrote.

Yup. The “default parent” role is real and weighted heavily toward moms as it is. For stay-at-home moms, it’s 100% expected, and that doesn’t suddenly end when it’s time to start thinking about joining the workforce again.

And, of course, moms barely have time to try to figure all of this out. So, as Johnson says, “But for now, you cram yourself into the only pair of jeans you have right now that fit and find a t-shirt on the floor that isn’t clean but isn’t dirty and will pass for the 4 hours of mom-taxiing you’re about to do and you tell yourself, ‘I’ll figure it out another day. Right now, I gotta get the kids to practice.'” Oof.

Johnson’s entire post is worth a read, as it resonates with so many women at this stage of life. But just as telling are the comments from women who not only see themselves in Johnson’s description but who feel like they were sold a bill of goods early in their motherhood. So many of us were led to believe that the skills and experiences of managing a family would be valued in the workplace simply because they should be and that the gap in their resume wouldn’t matter.

“This hits hard. I am right there too. And all those volunteer hours & leadership positions people said would look good on my resume when I once again applied for jobs? Those people all lied. It means squat,” wrote one person.

“Thank you! You spoke my heart. 42 this year, resigned from teaching almost 12 years ago, and never been more confused about my personal future, or exhausted in my present,” shared another.

“I’ve never related to a post more in my life! THANK YOU. Your words perfectly summarize the loneliest, most important job in the world and how that perspective shifts in your 40s. It is confusingly beautiful,” wrote another.

There is hope in the comments, too. Some moms have chosen to see their post-stay-at-home era as a fresh start to learn something new, which might lend some inspiration to others.

“I went back for my master’s degree at 47 years old. I’m now 50 in a new career I love and my husband is doing just fine pulling his weight with after school/carpool/dinner. Happy for the years I stayed home, happy with this new season too,” shared one person.

“Yuuuup. I decided to go back to grad school at 45. It’s insane but every term I complete I’m like – omg I’m doing it! So don’t let sweaty out of shape bodies and carpool fatigue stop you. I take naps and write grad school papers and have meltdowns where I cry from the frustration of it all – but dammit I’m doing it!” wrote another.

One mom who is past this stage also offered some words of encouragement:

“So incredibly well written. I feel all these things and did throughout my 40s. Now I’m in my early ’50s and I’m so glad I was able to stay home with my kids, but the guilt! The guilt of not using my education, the judgment of people who don’t understand why someone would stay home with their kids, the social engineering… We just eat each other alive sometimes don’t we? I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but it is a very lonely road and one you always question. I can tell you that all three of my kids were so grateful to have a full-time parent. I might not have always been the best, but they were glad to always have someone to talk to if they needed it. It’s hard to fill other people’s buckets when your bucket isn’t full, but the rewards do come back when the kids tell you thank you for everything that you’ve done. ”

Being a mom is hard, period. Working moms have it hard, stay-at-home moms have it hard, moms who have managed to keep one foot in the career door and one foot in the home have it hard. There’s a lot that society could do to support moms more no matter what path they choose (or find themselves on—it’s not always a conscious choice), from providing paid maternity leave to greater flexibility with work schedules to retirement plans that account for time away from the workplace. Perhaps that would at least make the many choices moms have today feel more like freedom and less like choosing between a rock and a hard place.

This article originally appeared on 9.27.23

Americans’ attitudes about water have changed over the past 30 years. In the past, a common phrase on the athletic field was, “Don’t drink too much water, you’ll get a cramp,” and the only people with water bottles were hippies.

Now, people everywhere walk around with large water bottles, sometimes up to 64oz, attached to themselves like purses. It’s like people leave the house with the sincere belief that they will not be able to find potable water for the next 3 weeks.

The hydration craze has also meant that water bottles have become trendy status symbols and markers of personal identity. Are you more of a Yeti person or a Stanley?

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The trend has also been passed down to our children, who are encouraged to bring water bottles to school daily. Miss Smith from the Popular Bored Teachers TikTok page had fun with the trend in a video that received over 1.5 million views.

“Does anyone over 30 remember being allowed to have a water bottle in their elementary classroom?” she asks in the video.

Do you remember these days?

@bored_teachers

Do you remember these days?! #boredteachers #teachers #teacher

Miss Smith recalls the only water she had during school back in the day was at lunch or during snack and even then, the time she was allowed at the water fountain was limited.

“You were like gulping for life at that water fountain while kids behind you were like obnoxiously counting down or being like, ‘She’s getting more than 3 seconds!'” Then, the teacher would tap you on the shoulder, and you were done.

“Can you imagine if we did that to today’s kids? The emails! The calls I would get,” she continued.

The funny thing is that even though kids didn’t drink much water back in the day—and if they did, it was out of a fountain—somehow they survived. Now, we’re raising an entire generation that feels compelled to lug a heavy and costly bottle with them wherever they go, fearing they will suffer from dehydration.

The post resonated with many folks over 30 who lived through the dry days of pre-Millenium America.

“I hear all the time that behavior issues have risen since we were kids; my theory is we were too dehydrated to misbehave,” LauraLadymon joked. “We didn’t have water bottles because they also didn’t want us to ever go to the bathroom,” UA added. “I don’t remember drinking water as a kid. Unless it was from a hose, it was Kool-Aid or milk. How am I still alive?” Julia said.

The hydration craze was in the news recently after the new, limited edition Stanley + Starbucks water bottle was released at Target stores. The frenzy over the $45 bottle had people camping outside Target and jumping counters to get their hands on newly designed bottles that are hot with younger women.

The bottles promise to keep hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold for an extended period of time. So when you drop your daughter off at first period, her water is still cold by the 3:05 bell rings.

Camped out at Target for the new viral pink Starbucks Stanley cup thing for my kiddo. Ridiculous? Yes. Fun? Also yes…😜#StanleyCup

@vincentmarcus

Camped out at Target for the new viral pink Starbucks Stanley cup thing for my kiddo. Ridiculous? Yes. Fun? Also yes…😜#StanleyCup

This article originally appeared on 1.12.24

Game of Thrones prequel time is nearly upon us again with total war coming in the Targaryens’ direction. Team Black will go up against Team Green with cousin vs. cousin and George R.R. Martin readers might believe that they know who survives, but as we know with Westeros-based adaptations, there are no guarantees that the small screen will match the book.

Only a solitary reality remains certain during this second season: Daemon will be insufferable yet irresistible as he continues to be steamed over the imagined injustice of being robbed of a chance for the crown. Soon, we can see him being both passive aggressive and too aggressive for his family’s good at Dragonstone as mini-Daemon (i.e. Aemond) simmers at King’s Landing.

When Does ‘House Of The Dragon’ Season 2, Episode 1 Come Out?

The premiere episode, “A Son For A Son” arrives on Sunday, June 16 at 9:00pm EST and PST. In theory, Max will stream the episode simultaneously, but expect the load to be heavy. Servers have crashed before, and they could do so again.

During this week’s edition of the Targaryen Civil War, we shall see Rhaenyra in the depths of her grief over losing her son and father, and on another level, the loss of her rightful place on the Iron Throne. To say any more about what transpires could be considered a spoiler, so we will cut this short for now: Dracarys!

Charles Barkley has been the biggest personality in the NBA media space for the last 24 years working with the NBA on TNT to make Inside the NBA the best studio show in sports. With the NBA apparently close to a new national TV rights deal with ESPN, NBC, and Amazon, the future of Inside and the entire crew is unclear, but the general sense has been Barkley will find himself a new TV home in the future as he has an out in his contract to give himself the opportunity to go elsewhere if TNT lost the NBA.

However, after Game 4 of the NBA Finals, Barkley was on the NBATV set in Dallas and wanted to let the crew and basketball world know that he’s not going to any other network. Instead, Barkley announced he would be retiring after next season, which will be his 25th on television, whether TNT gets a piece of the package or not.

“I just want to say thank you to my entire NBA family. I love you guys. There’s been a lot of noise around our network the last few months, and I just want to say, I talked to all the other networks, but I ain’t going nowhere other than TNT. But, I have made the decision myself, no matter what happens, next year is going to be my last year on television. And I just want to say thank you to my NBA family, you guys been great to me, my heart is full with joy and gratitude. But, I’m gonna pass the baton at the end of next year, I hope the NBA stays with TNT, but for me personally, I wanted you to hear it from me. Cause I’m not doing anymore interviews. Don’t y’all be calling me, nobody calling me. I’m not talking about this again. But I wanted to tell my NBATV and TNT family that I’m not going to another network, but I’m going to pass the baton to Jamal Crawford or Vince Carter or you, Steve [Smith]. But next year I’m gonna just retire after 25 years, and I just wanted to say thank you. And I wanted y’all to hear it from me first.”

Now, this wouldn’t be the first time Barkley has announced intentions to retire — he rather famously said he wouldn’t do TV past the age of 60 but is now 61. That said, he certainly seems sincere in this statement. If this is the case, next year will be quite the farewell tour for Chuck and Inside the NBA, as the league will be losing one of its biggest voices and personalities from regular programming.

I’d be surprised if Barkley simply rides off in the sunset never to be seen again — and I’m curious to find out how long his “no interviews” stance lasts — but if next year is indeed his last as a regular contributor from weekly NBA television, there will not be a true replacement for him because he is a legitimate 1-of-1. You can bet the other networks will try their best to talk him out of this stance, but if he’s genuinely set on calling it a career in television, he’s a first ballot Hall of Famer behind that desk just as he was on the court.

The NBA Finals are headed back to Boston after the Mavs finally asserted their place in the series with a dominant Game 4 performance, rolling up a 122-84 win on the Celtics.

Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving combined for 50 points, while the Dallas bench came alive for the first time in the series, led by Dereck Lively II putting up a double-double (and his first career three) in the win. It was the Mavs best shooting performance of the series (50.5 percent from the field, 40.5 percent from three), and they coupled that with their best defensive outing, as they were flying around on defense and held the Celtics to 36.3 percent shooting as a team on the night.

For as fantastic an effort it was from the Mavericks, it was an equally poor performance from the Celtics. Boston seemed to either hope the Mavs would quit, or felt they’d rather have a chance to close things out in front of their home crowd. In any case, they just did not meet the energy or physicality of Dallas and now have given the Mavs at least a glimmer of hope. After the game, Charles Barkley noted his disgust with the “embarrassing” effort of the Celtics in a closeout game.

Unsurprisingly, Barkley was frustrated with Boston’s shot selection, as they took a bunch of threes early and couldn’t get them to fall. He is frequently fed up with the Celtics strategy of launching as many threes as possible, but he’s not wrong that the threes they were taking were often not looks created by good movement — which is, in part, a credit to Dallas rotating much better in Game 4. The volume of threes isn’t Boston’s problem, but how they get those looks that’s often the difference. In this game, Dallas shut off the rim and were able to stay attached to shooters, something they hadn’t done prior to this game. We’ll find out on Monday how much of that was genuine improvement on Dallas’ end and what was Boston going through the motions. For the Celtics sake, they’ll hope it was just a single game letdown and they’ll be back to their normal selves once back home for Game 5.

The 2024 NBA Finals will not end in a sweep. The Boston Celtics entered Friday night’s game in Dallas looking to wrap up the 18th championship in franchise history. But instead, the Mavericks put forth their best effort of the entire playoffs, as the team was completely locked in on both ends of the floor and imposed their will on the Celtics en route to a 122-84 win to make the series 3-1.

The Mavs came out and looked like a team with their backs firmly against the wall. Both of their stars brought their A-game to start Game 4, as Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving combined for 22 points on 9-for-15 shooting in the opening period, while their role players showed a bit more dynamism on the offensive end than we’d seen all series.

While Jayson Tatum gave Boston 11 first quarter points, the Celtics ran into a problem that they hadn’t had all series: The Mavs hit shots. Dallas, whose offense had been abysmal for most of the first three games, went 14-for-24 from the field and grabbed 10 more rebounds in the opening 12 minutes. As a result, after one, the Mavericks found themselves with a 34-21 lead.

The second quarter was much of the same, as Dallas completely dominated on both ends of the floor. Offensively, Doncic was in total control of everything, while the Mavs’ role players who just did not show up to the extent they needed for the first three games of the series started to make small but meaningful contributions.

But it was on the defensive end of the floor where Dallas was at its most impressive. Their rotations happened with an urgency that made it look like their season was on the line, and it just never seemed like Boston was able to get a good look unless they really earned it. For the first time all series, it really looked like the Mavericks’ defense was able to set the tone, and the Celtics struggled mightily to find an answer.

As a result, Dallas went into the locker room with a commanding, 61-35 lead. While Doncic had 25 points, the numbers for Boston’s offense were legitimately shocking, as they went 11-for-37 (29.7 percent) from the field and 5-for-19 (26.3 percent) from behind the three-point line. Outside of Tatum, who had 15 points, no one on the team scored more than eight.

The third quarter was much of the shame, as Dallas kept the pedal to the metal and got its lead up to as many as 38 points. With 3:18 left in the third, Joe Mazzulla decided that he saw enough, and pulled his starters for the remainder of the game. It got so bad that, with more than a minute left in the third quarter, Mike Breen straight up asked Doris Burke and JJ Redick, “So, what do you guys wanna talk about?”

Both teams turned to their benches to play out the fourth quarter, and even then, Dallas was able to find success — their lead got up to as many as 48 points in the fourth, with Tim Hardaway Jr. catching fire and pouring in jumper after jumper. The crowd, slowly but surely, seemed like it convinced themselves that this is the team that is going to make history and become the first squad in NBA history to overcome an 0-3 series lead. By the time the final horn sounded, the building was in a frenzy as the Mavs wrapped up the win and hit the 100-point mark for the first time in the Finals.

While Doncic didn’t have a great shooting night (he missed all eight of his attempts from three), he led the way with 29 points, five rebounds, five assists, and three steals. Irving had 21 points and six assists, while Dallas as a team shot 15-for-37 from behind the three-point line. As for Boston, it was a night to forget in just about every regard, as Tatum’s 15 points were the most on the team, while Sam Hauser chipped in 14 off the bench. The shooting numbers were legitimately stunning, with the Celtics going 29-for-80 (36.3 percent) from the field.

The series will now return to Boston, where the Celtics were able to successfully defend their home court in the first two games of the season. Game 5 will take place on Monday night at 8:30 p.m. EST on ABC.

ESPN has brought in some current player guest analysts for the playoffs this year, with Chris Paul joining them in studio during the conference finals, while Josh Hart and Paul George traded off duties on site during the NBA Finals.

Prior to Game 4 in Dallas, George was joined on set by a surprise guest, as Sixers star center Joel Embiid popped up for a segment just before tipoff. That was notable for a few reasons, with the biggest being the Sixers will have max cap space this summer and George is widely expected to be their top target. George would slot in nicely between Embiid and Tyrese Maxey — who will be an RFA this summer, which is why they have so much space with Tobias Harris and basically everyone else on the roster coming off the books and Maxey not on a max deal just yet.

Stephen A. Smith and Michael Wilbon both made little comments about the two being together on set, and Embiid couldn’t help himself from noting the Sixers need to “add some pieces” this summer, while making a side-eye at George, to get to the Finals next year.

As a friendly reminder, there is no such thing as tampering rules in the NBA when it comes to player interactions, but I’m sure Clippers fans aren’t exactly thrilled about this — at least, the ones that want George back in Los Angeles. Embiid also had some thoughts on Boston and whether they’d be able to start a dynasty run, unsurprisingly disagreeing with Stephen A.’s assertion this will be the first of a run of titles for the Celtics.

It’s pretty funny that Embiid started by simply noting the new CBA will make it very difficult to keep this group together, especially if they pay Derrick White this summer after already signing Jrue Holiday and Kristaps Porzingis to extensions. He did go on to note the rest of the East, including himself with the Sixers, were banged up this year and the Celtics path to the Finals should be more difficult in the future. If Philadelphia can indeed land George and build up their roster around him, that would certainly help their case to reach Boston’s level, and we’ll see if Embiid’s mid-June recruitment efforts in Dallas pay off in about 16 days.

For years, Madden games have featured one set of commentators, which can make the game feel a bit stale after awhile for those who play the game frequently. Even as the commentary has gotten much deeper and they log more than 100 hours of lines, at a certain point, you’ll run into the same things over and over.

So, for this year’s edition of Madden NFL 25, EA Sports looked to freshen things up by adding not one but two new commentary teams to the game. Charles Davis and Brandon Gaudin remain on board, but a new headlining commentary team of Mike Tirico and Greg Olsen join the game, as do Kate Scott and Brock Huard. The Tirico-Olsen pairing is fascinating, as it puts NBC’s top play-by-play man with FOX’s former top analyst, now the No. 2 at the network with Tom Brady stepping into the lead booth to begin his massive contract this season.

Having Tirico and Olsen will give big games in Madden the appropriate big game feel, as having announcers on the call who have Super Bowl experience make the gameplay presentation for those moments feel even more authentic. Adding Scott, who does play-by-play for the Philadelphia 76ers, and Huard, who does college football for FOX, adds another commentary team to the mix that can keep the game feeling fresh for longer. With the new College Football franchise having a pair of commentary teams, EA Sports probably felt a need to up their game in that realm for their flagship NFL offering.

Donovan Mitchell is in for a pretty important summer. After putting forth an All-Star campaign as a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers and helping the team win a round in the playoffs for the first time since LeBron James left town — and the first time without James on the roster since 1993 — Mitchell is in line for a potentially gigantic contract extension with the Cavs. If he decides not to sign one, he’ll almost certainly become the biggest name on the NBA’s trade market this offseason.

While that’s going on, Mitchell is set to get his latest signature sneaker with adidas, the D.O.N. Issue #6. And on Friday, Mitchell and adidas teamed up to announce the Spida Elite Camp — which will take place in Los Angeles from June 28-30 — while also teasing his newest shoe.

“To coincide with the launch of Donovan Mitchell’s next signature shoe, the D.O.N. Issue #6, the three-day camp will feature Mitchell and a team of NBA coaches who will instruct and compete alongside the best high school hoopers in the nation,” adidas said in a release. “Inspired by Mitchell’s own journey as an overlooked athlete, the camp will also welcome 3- and 4-star recruits seeking to make their mark.”

We’ll keep you updated as more information comes out about the D.O.N. Issue #6.

The Best New Hip-Hop This Week includes albums, videos, and songs from Don Toliver, Moneybagg Yo, NxWorries, and more.

A pair of Golden Age pillars, Common and Pete Rock, made a comeback this week with the announcement of their new album, The Auditorium Vol. 1, and a new single, “Dreamin’.”

J. Cole made his own return from musical exile with the video for “Trae The Truth In Ibiza.”

Atlanta native Quavo dropped a new single, “Mink,” quoting Sexyy Red.

Here is the best of hip-hop this week ending June 14, 2024.

Albums/EPs/Mixtapes

Don Toliver — Hardstone Psycho

Don Toliver trades in his silk shirt for biker gang colors on his latest release, but keeps his signature melodic raps and thumping trap and drill beats. Tapping Cash Cobain, Future, Kodak Black, Teezo Touchdown, and Travis Scott, Hardstone Psycho continues expanding Don Toliver’s world.

JasonMartin & DJ Quik — Chupacabra

Problem — now known by his government name — reunites with fellow Compton star DJ Quik, who once again handles the beats on a modern masterclass in West Coast sounds and styles. Along for the ride are a who’s-who of LA standouts, from OGs Big Hit and Suga Free to mainstays like The Game and Dom Kennedy.

Moneybagg Yo — Speak Now

Originally planned for a 2023 release, the Memphis native’s latest was held back to make sure it received just the right feature. Moneybagg hasn’t revealed just which of the featured artists — which include Lil Durk, Rob49, and country star Morgan Wallen — might have held up the process but it’s a moot point now… and the album bangs, so it was probably worth it.

NxWorries — Why Lawd?

Eight years after their last release as a group, Anderson .Paak and Knxwledge reunite. Once again, Knxwledge’s soulful production lays the foundation for .Paak’s slick-talking P game. This time around, the chemistry is improved upon by a collection of collaborators including Earl Sweatshirt, Charlie Wilson, H.E.R., and Snoop Game.

Singles/Videos

Action Bronson — “Sega”

Action Bronson’s new album Johann Sebastian Bachlava The Doctor is on the way, and if its first handful of singles are any indication (they are), it’s jam-packed with all the wrestling references, off-kilter punchlines, and left-field samples you could ask for from the Queens native.

Kaliii — “Gas You Up” Feat. Hunxho

In something of a departure for the Atlanta rapper, Kaliii shows off some vocal chops on her latest, sliding easily from melodic deliveries to sing-song raps over a smooth R&B-inspired beat. Fellow ATLien Hunxho appears to offer a masculine counterpoint to her coy come-ons, making it one of the more balanced songs from either artist’s growing discographies.

LL Cool J — “Saturday Night Special” Feat. Rick Ross & Fat Joe

I don’t know why this feels so unexpected. After all, all three artists here share a generational aspect. They’ve even been on the same labels, for the most part (both Ross and Joe were on Atlantic at separate times, while both LL and Ross were on Def Jam). But I can’t remember the last time LL has sounded so… energized (he always sounds energetic, which is a different thing). It’s not a beat style we’ve heard him on much, but it feels like the sort of beat he should have been utilizing for the last decade. “Saturday Night Special” isn’t the most cohesive, but it’s a prime example of elder statesmen aging gracefully.

Smino — “Polynesian”

Technically, this song’s been out for a week, but the video just dropped today, so I’m putting it here. The world needs more Smino, and while the title refers to his overabundance of sauce, the video’s setting makes for a fitting visual double entendre.