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We don’t have to tell you that summer heat and sunny days require refreshment. If you’re like us, you spend these hazy mid-July afternoons gulping down ice water, lemonade, and more flavored seltzer water than seems socially acceptable. But when the sun sets and the heat lingers, we look for something to take the edge off. Something boozy yet still totally crushable and thirst-quenching.

Specifically, we crack open a beer (or three). But not all beers are suited for summer drinking. Chaz Gallo, director of food and beverage at The Bristol Hotel in Bristol, Virginia has specific ideas of what exactly makes a great hot weather crusher.

“A pilsner, lager or shandy,” he says. “Something light, crisp, and drinkable that goes down smooth.”

Reed Odeneal, co-founder and brewer at Perfect Plain Brewing Co. in Pensacola, Florida adds sour beers to the list.

“If you haven’t been stocking your cooler with gose, go ahead and start,” he says. “You’ll be challenged to find a more appropriate style of beer to combat the heat and humidity. They’re traditionally brewed with wheat, coriander, salt, and come with a hint of tartness and a relatively low alcohol content to make a super refreshing flavor that you can crush all day long.”

What you enjoy drinking during the summer depends on your taste. That’s why we want you to have a lot of different options. To find them, we turned to the professionals behind the bar, asking a handful of well-known bartenders to tell us their picks for the absolute best summer thirst quenchers. Check their answers out below.

Corona Extra

David Ortiz, beverage director at Rocco’s Tacos And Tequila Bar in Orlando

ABV: 4.6%
Average Price: $18 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

Nothing quenches my thirst on a hot summer day in South Florida more than an ice-cold Corona Extra. Sip it on the beach, on a boat, or at home – this is the type of beer that goes with any occasion. It’s always crisp and refreshing.

Bell’s Oberon

Scott Wenger, bartender at The Continental in Tampa

ABV: 5.8%
Average Price: $19.99 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

Bell’s Oberon from Kalamazoo Michigan. It’s hot where I live during the summer months, and Bell’s Oberon has all the flavor you would expect in a craft beer without being too heavy. It’s perfect for a hot day.

Plus, It’s just fun to say “Kalamazoo.”

Revolution Fist City

Brandi Wheat, bartending consultant at The G Spot Cigar and Bar Lounge in Memphis

ABV: 5.5%
Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

The best summery thirst-quenching beer to drink on a sunny day or any day is Revolution Brewing Fist City. The pale ale has taken the number one spot for me against all others. Fist City has this light golden color that’s perfectly balanced on the malts and hops. Flavors of grapefruit, melon, and other tropical notes are so refreshing on a sunny day in Chicago by the lake.

Pacifico Lager

Michael Parish, head bartender at Jia in Miami

ABV: 4.4%
Average Price: $18 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

Personally, I always prefer an ice-cold Mexican pilsner-style beer on a hot summer day. A Modelo Especial or Pacifico in an ice-cold can wrapped in a koozie really is the most thirst-quenching beer to sip on come summertime. The flavors are crisp, clean, and refreshing.

For this, I’ll pick the Pacifico because it just might be the most refreshing beer you can crack open this summer.

21st Amendment Come Hell or High Watermelon

Lynnette Marrero, co-founder of Speed Rack and bar director of Llama Inn in Brooklyn, New York

ABV: 4.9%
Average Price: $12

Why This Beer?

I love 21st Amendment Come Hell or High Watermelon (they also have some new flavors like mango). They feature lady liberty, and the fruit is subtle and in balance. It’s a crisp beer with a hint of fruit.

Westbrook Key Lime Pie Gose

Monica Collins, bartender at Lucky Rooster Kitchen + Bar in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

ABV: 4%
Average Price: $12.99 for a 4-pack

Why This Beer?

Sours in the summertime are so fun and delicious. They vary in flavors, fruits, and ABV. My favorites are Gose’s from Westbrook. Specifically, Key Lime Pie is a great summer beer for any summer occasion. Whether it’s sipping on the beach or relaxing on a boat ride. They are perfect for the hot summer days.

Victoria Lager

Rose Krone, bartender at Hippo in Los Angeles

ABV: 4.4%
Average Price: $18 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

I feel like Mexico knows how to do summer the best out of all of us, so when I want a refreshing beer, I usually go with whatever is from there as an option. I don’t think you have to be fancy when choosing a beer to beat the heat. Personally, I’m happy with Victoria or Sol. Although, the other night on a menu I saw a Gose from Guadalajara, which now might be the beer of my summer. Paraíso from Cerveza Loba was refreshing, but still not too sour like some beers of that style can get, and at 4.5% I’m game for a full day by the water with a case of these.

Miller High Life

Daniel Yang, lead bartender at Rosina inside The Venetian Resort in Las Vegas

ABV: 4.6%
Average Price: $10.99 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

Honestly, I really enjoy a frosty Miller High Life on a nice, sunny day. It has lighter flavors and a solid balance of noble hops and malt. If you want to spruce things up, throw in a bit of Aperol and lemon juice and make yourself a Spaghett to really give yourself a nice flavor expansion.

Leffe Blonde

Adam Mason, cocktail specialist at LouVino in Louisville

ABV: 6.6%
Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Honestly, beers are all thirst quenchers, but the best is likely a lager or Hefeweizen due to how light and easy to drink they are! They are low in malt but have great flavor as well. I personally always gravitate to Leffe Blonde as it is crisp and cool on the palate.

Golden Road Mango Cart

Chandra Richter, beverage development and chief mixologist at Drinkworks

ABV: 4%
Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

On a sunny summer day, I love to sip on a Golden Road Mango Cart. With bursts of fruity flavors that are fresh and refreshing, it’s definitely one of my go-tos this time of year. The bright mango taste matches perfectly with the crisp wheat beer.

Modelo Especial

Michael Lay, assistant director of bars for MINA Group in San Francisco, California

ABV: 4.4%
Average Price: $18 for a 12-pack

Why This Beer?

German-style pilsner would be my choice. This beer is made for hot weather. From Modelo to Trumer, the malty sweetness cuts through the heat. If I had to pick one, it would be Modelo Especial. This crisp, crushable pilsner was made for summer days.

Carlsberg Pilsner

Jeremy Williams, mixologist at MDRD at the Amway Grand Plaza in Grand Rapids, Michigan

ABV: 5%
Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

I’m a big fan of Carlsberg, a Copenhagen Pilsner that is crisp, clean, flavorful, and crushable. It’s perfect on a warm summer day. Simple, refreshing, and delicious. That’s all you need to say.

Anderson Valley Briney Melon Gose

Hayden Miller, head bartender of Bodega Taqueria y Tequila in Miami

ABV: 4.2%
Average Price: $11 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Any Gose is a go-to for those hot summer days — not as tart as a sour but with a hint of brine to keep you rotating between thirst and quench. Anderson Valley added a Melon Gose that hits all of these notes. I can’t think of a more refreshing, thirst-quenching summer beer.

Hi Wire Pink Drink

Tara Gillum, bartender at Steiner’s Speakeasy in Chillicothe, Ohio

ABV: 4.2%
Average Price: $12 for a four-pack

Why This Beer?

I love a good sour beer in the summer. There is something about the tart crispness that just pops on a warm summer day. One of my go-to beers this summer has been Hi Wire Drink. It contains one of my favorite flavor combinations, raspberry, and lemon. The low ABV makes it perfect for prolonged enjoyment.

Orion Lager

Ryan Anderson, complex director of beverage at Ace Hotel in New Orleans

ABV: 5%
Average Price: $12.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

For me, I always prefer beer in the summertime that is light and refreshing. When it’s hot outside I reach for something that is not going to fatigue my palate with big flavors or too many hops. If you can find it, Orion Lager from Osaka Japan is my go-to. This beer is brewed in Japan’s southernmost tropical island and is a perfect blend of rice, malt, and hops. Drinking one leaves you refreshed rather than reaching for the water.

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As a Drizly affiliate, Uproxx may receive a commission pursuant to certain items on this list.

We’re well into the streaming wars, but there’s been one major medium that has so far been left untapped by all of the major services: video games. Back in May, Netflix — the streamer that started it all — announced they were finally correcting that, hiring an executive to belatedly add games to its already well-stocked arsenal. Now, only two months later, the gears for that plan are already in motion.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, not only is the streaming giant getting into video games, they’ll be a free add-on to your already existing subscription. This is all in the larval stage, but at least initially, Netflix will be “primarily focused” on making sure that games are available for mobile devices, not for your fancy big home TVs (at least at first).

That’s also to say that they didn’t reveal when video games will start becoming part of the overall Netflix experience. Nor did they reveal which titles they’d make available for playing — if they’d be creating their own games or if they’d work out some deal with video game companies. The latter seems likely, as they’ve already inked deals to create series out of such popular games as Castlevania and The Witcher, with Assassin’s Creed and Cyberpunk 2077 shows en route.

Whatever happens, this surely means other streamers will, as always, take Netflix’s lead, making the streaming wars even more contentious than they were already. But at some point, it looks like you may be able to do some gaming when you get bored of whatever new $200 million Netflick you were watching.

(Via THR)

Whether you’re taking a trip to see the country’s finest beaches and hiking trails, seeking a respite from the summer humidity, or you’re just looking to cut loose at this month’s HARD festival or one of the other music festivals offered across the state, there is a high chance if you’re traveling domestically this summer you’re making a stop in California. The Golden State has a lot to offer travelers and if you’ve never trekked out West before the number of options can be downright intimidating.

Don’t worry about that. We’ve got you covered. Besides the many many m–a–n–y Cali-based travel guides we’ve published in the past, today brings some new heat. Our favorite DJ sister duo, the Lisbona Sisters, did us a solid and curated their personal guide to all things CA.

In addition to being born and raised in California, Ava and Laura Lisbona have made a name for themselves playing festivals across the state (and the world!) so they know the state intimately — from the best places to grab a bite to eat to the clubs and bars you need to visit. This month, the Lisbona Sisters will take the stage at San Bernadino’s HARD Summer Festival, which will be held on July 31st and August 1st at the NOS Event Center, where you can catch shoreside performances by other artists like Future, Kaytranada, and 2 Chainz.

With an even mix of hip-hop and electronic acts, the lineup is pretty damn stacked for a two-day festival! As stacked as that festival lineup is though, you’re still going to need something to do in your downtime (or before and after the festival), so check out the Lisbona Sister’s guide to California below.

Restaurants You Need To Eat At

Pazzia Ristoranti Italiano — San Francisco

Laura:

I’m obsessed with and am very picky about Italian food, and this place is one of my favorites forever. The owner, Massimo, is from Florence, so charming, and so, so Italian — in the best way 00 which you’ll personally find out because he’ll probably come to your table and introduce himself while you’re dining. Only 40 seats in the restaurant means a truly intimate experience, and it’s usually a lively one — Pazzia means “craziness” in Italian.

Ava and I both used to wait tables here when we lived in SF; I still have legitimate cravings for it all the time, and I can’t ever visit the Bay Area without getting my fix.

Broad Street Oyster Co. — Malibu

Ava:

As someone who is obsessed with lobster rolls, this place blows me away. Best lobster roll this side of the Mississippi, and you can add uni or caviar to it. Big plus. There are other things on the menu, but this is a real stand-out!

Ristorante Mamma Gina — Palm Desert

Laura:

We did the majority of growing up in the Coachella Valley, and our mom would save up her paychecks to take us here for special occasions when we were little. It’s upscale, has been there since 1986, and feels very appropriately old school. Since I can remember going (and as recently as a couple weeks ago), I get the capellini pomodoro every single time; it’s such a simple dish and is, in my opinion, a great test of any Italian restaurant.

Another sign of this place’s authenticity is that the original location is in Florence, Italy, which I’ve also been to and will wholeheartedly vouch for.

Outdoor Getaways

Nature Friends Tourist Club — Mt. Tamalpais, Mill Valley

Laura:

This spot is such a freaking gem if you’re into the idea of hiking and nature with a fat dose of fun. There are multiple trails you can take to get there, ranging in intensity and distance. They all end at this huge and super random alpine lodge in the middle of the redwoods — just above Muir Woods — complete with a German beer bar and a hefty selection of board games. B

ring a sandwich and you are winning.

Rose Bowl Flea Market — Pasadena

Ava:

This giant flea market happens on the second Sunday of every month. They have literally anything and everything under the sun, new and used. I’ve furnished half of my house there, and pretty much wear something from there every day. It’s an absolute goldmine for things you want… or didn’t even know you wanted.

DTLA Flower Market — Los Angeles

Ava:

For $20 you can make like five bouquets for around the house (or wherever). They get the coolest, unique flowers and you are going to impress anyone you make an arrangement for. A go-to for friends’ birthdays.

Clubs And Bars You Need To Party And Drink At

Monarch — San Francisco

Laura:

I’m probably a bit partial because our friends opened this place, and it’s also where I learned to DJ. There are two steampunk-inspired craft cocktail bars upstairs, one termed “The Emperor’s Drawing Room” (sounds so fancy), and they often have a very nice-looking, very bendy woman hanging over the bar doing an aerial performance.

Downstairs in the basement is the nightclub with some of the best sound I’ve ever heard in the US.

Break Room 86 — Koreatown, Los Angeles

Laura:

An 80s speakeasy bar — could you be speaking more my language? It’s located in the basement of The LINE hotel; you go in through the back entrance where you are led through the hallway and finally go in through a secret vending machine. I know I’m not supposed to give away the surprise, sorry. The inside is so cool and has tons of ’80s accents and installations, a DJ or ’80s cover band, old arcade games, and karaoke rooms — highly available for this.

Retail Therapy For The Morning After

The Fine Art Of Design — Palm Desert

Ava:

This is such a carefully and impeccably curated store, and it has the most beautiful vintage and antique pieces. You will find the most amazing clothes and the shop owner, Nicky, knows specifics about every individual item in there.

Gentle Monster — Los Angeles

Ava:

This Korean eyewear brand is unique and well-made. The store itself is such an experience. From the music to the art, this place never ceases to amaze me.

This article originally appeared on 07.11.17

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn’t have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree.

Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Photo courtesy of Madalyn Parker.

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Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial.

“The bottom line is that mental health is health,” she says over email. “My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn’t be able to type very well.”

She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

“Hopefully,” she wrote to them, “I’ll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%.”

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker’s company wrote back:

“Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can’t believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work.”

Moved by her CEO’s response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

When the CEO responds to your out of the office email about taking sick leave for mental health and reaffirms your… https://t.co/KLfhpXNBfB

— madalyn (@madalynrose)
1498854569.0

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

“It’s nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once,” Parker says of the response to her tweet. “I’ve been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn’t expect so much attention!”

Even more impressive than the tweet’s reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

“Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am,” wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. “That is bloody incredible,” chimed in another. “What a fantastic CEO you have.”

Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren’t vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

“I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave,” she wrote back. “I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn’t use it and it’s a separate concept.”

Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee’s mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there’s still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as “weak” or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.

Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker’s company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

“It’s 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance,” Congleton wrote. “When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let’s get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different.”

This article originally appeared on 08.31.18

“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”

In October 2016, that was a quote from Albert Einstein that sat atop the Facebook page of Tim McMillan, a police officer in Georgia.

McMillan become a sensation after a post he wrote on his Facebook wall went viral in 2016. In his post, he explains how he pulled over a black teen for texting while driving:

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“I pulled a car over last night for texting and driving. When I went to talk to the driver, I found a young black male, who was looking at me like he was absolutely terrified with his hands up. He said, ‘What do you want me to do officer?’ His voice was quivering. He was genuinely scared,” McMillan wrote.

But McMillan said he wasn’t interested in harassing or arresting the young man, let alone inflicting violence upon him. Nonetheless, the teen’s emotional response hit McMillan like a punch to the gut.

“I just looked at him for a moment, because what I was seeing made me sad. I said, ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’ In which he replied, with his voice still shaking, ‘Do you want me to get out of the car.’ I said, ‘No, I don’t want you to text and drive. I don’t want you to get in a wreck. I want your mom to always have her baby boy. I want you to grow up and be somebody. I don’t even want to write you a ticket. Just please pay attention, and put the phone down. I just don’t want you to get hurt,'” he wrote.

McMillan said the interaction made him reflect on a deeply personal level about the national attention being paid to acts of police violence against black Americans, particularly young black men.

“I truly don’t even care who’s fault it is that young man was so scared to have a police officer at his window. Blame the media, blame bad cops, blame protestors, or Colin Kaepernick if you want. It doesn’t matter to me who’s to blame. I just wish somebody would fix it.”

This story originally appeared on GOOD.

Trippie Redd is getting back in album gear, and today he’s dropped a video for “Holy Smokes,” the second new song off his forthcoming record, Trip At Knight (get it?). On the track, he’s teaming up with Lil Uzi Vert, who has been in hot water lately due to a violent altercation with his ex-girlfriend, who later accused him of abuse and stalking. The rappers are focused on other issues during this clip, though, namely getting their racks up, though the lyrics admit stacking cash isn’t everything — “but I still can’t buy love,” they croon.

“Holy Smokes” follows up the first Trip At Knight single, “Miss The Rage,” which featured Playboi Carti. With two massive features on his first two singles, looks like Redd will be hitting up plenty of guests to appear on this new project. Redd also recentl guested on Uproxx’s own sessions showcase, performing “V12” off his 2020 Pegasus album. Considering Trippie just released that project a few months ago, it’s impressive and ambitious that he’s already readying another new project. But that’s the cadence that has become the norm for this new generation of hip-hop stars. Check out the “Holy Smokes” video above and look for more info on Trip At Knight coming soon.

Marc Maron doesn’t shy away from kicking the hornet’s nest a little bit. He famously did so while referring to MCU fans as “grown male nerdchilds” before he (briefly) appeared in Warner Bros.’ Joker. The stand-up comic and GLOW star geared up to ruffle some more feathers, this time in a different universe, while firing a shot at fellow podcaster Joe Rogan. In the process, Maron owned up to being a little “bitter” about the reported $100 million deal that Rogan scored to move over to Spotify (and he also moved to Austin, Texas), yet one cannot help but giggle at the language used in the below exchange.

This all went down when Maron appeared as a guest on the 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast with host Tom Segura, to whom Maron remarked, “You’re not one of those guys that rented space in Joe’s ass.” Oh boy, that theme continued: “There’s like a human centipede in Austin. It’s Elon Musk, Joe Rogan and three middle acts.”

That led to Maron realizing that the masses would come for him. “See, people are going to see that and say, ‘Look at Maron, he’s bitter.’… Why wouldn’t I be?” Maron wondered aloud. “One hundred million dollars for going ‘I don’t know.’ Really?… Rogan’s pushing back: ‘I don’t know, man.’”

And then Maron shifted slightly to a whaddya-gonna-do approach. “Look, god bless,” he declared. “I’m going to sit here and accept Austin as the next Shangri-La… it’s like the Hipster Alamo.” Maron clarified that he’s spent time in Austin and enjoys it quite a bit, but as Segura noted, it’s “not like any other Texas experience.” Yep, Maron’s point was that people mention that they’re moving to “Austin” without saying “Texas,” and it’s a very trendy thing to do these days. No wonder the price of Austin real-estate is rising more rapidly than in the rest of the country.

Watch Maron’s comments on Rogan starting at the 58:00 minute mark below.

Jon Stewart‘s new Apple TV show isn’t even out, but that didn’t stop it from absolutely wrecking Jeff Bezos‘ space flight with a hilarious parody trailer. Released just hours after Bezos’ took off in a, let’s say, remarkably phallic rocket and landed back on earth while wearing a cowboy hat, the faux trailer for “Cum Dog Billionaires,” was tweeted by Stewart’s burgeoning Twitter account.

Starring Jason Alexander as Bezos, Tracy Morgan as Bezos’ “diverse friend,” Adam Pally as Elon Musk, and an actual mop as Richard Branson (it surprisingly plays), the three-minute video completely roasts the billionaire space race and has probably the most concentrated amount of dick jokes ever compiled by a late-night talk show. It really went for it, so just a heads up in case you’re at work.

Notably, in one scene in the “trailer,” Alexander’s Bezos is seen trying on cowboy hats, which apparently was an incredible guess by the production team who filmed the parody weeks ago. You think to yourself, there’s no way Jeff Bezos is egomaniacal enough to get into and/or out of a spaceship wearing a cowboy hat, and welp, he delivered.

On top of being a hilarious dunk on Bezos, Branson, and Musk, the “Cum Dog Billionaire” trailer also revealed that The Problem with Jon Stewart will debut in September. It was previously reported that the Apple TV show would arrive in the fall, so it’s definitely a nice surprise to learn that it’ll be arriving on the very early end of that timeframe.

(Via Jon Stewart on Twitter)

Marvel Studios: Assembled:: Season 1 The Making of Loki (Disney+ series, releasing in the wee hours of Wednesday morning) — This immersive documentary-type series brings us a fresh installment to help us feel a little bit better about having to wait for Season 2 of all of the Lokis and their mercurial pursuit of the glorious purpose. Tom Hiddleston has an absolute blast playing the MCU’s trickster god, and hopefully, we’ll hear more about that crushing moment and the new big bad cruising into Phase 4. This is the best Disney+ show so far, and Loki’s so beloved that you might binge the whole season all over again.

Miracle Workers: Oregon Trail: TBS, 10:30 pm) — Season 3 of this anthology series continues in 1844, when an idealistic preacher (Daniel Radcliffe) must join forces with a wanted outlaw (Steve Buscemi) as they set off on the eponymous trail by wagon. TBS suggests that the promise and peril that they encounter might remind us of our own times. This week, there are somehow hipster pioneers, along with a moral struggle for the group’s very soul.

Motherland: Fort Salem: Season 2 (Freeform, 10:00pm) — In this world, witches not only enlist in the U.S. Army, but they also use their spells to rule the world and take down terrorists, who are (in turn) hell-bent upon getting witches out of the military. This week, the Unit might commune with the dead if all goes well, and there’s a Halloween gala going down, too.

The Flash (CW, 8:00pm) — The Flash enlists present and future allies (including his kids?) in a bid to end the speedster war and his latest deadly adversary.

Superman & Lois (CW, 9:00pm) — Lois and Chrissy team up on a story while Jonathan is distracted, and Superman’s heading to Morgan Edge.

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon — Jonas Brothers, Zoe Lister-Jones

Late Night With Seth Meyers — Kristin Chenoweth, Tim Robinson, Simon Rich, Taku Hirano

If you’ve been busy making your way through the rapidly expanding breakfast menu at your favorite fast food restaurant, you might’ve missed the fact that plant-based meats are also slowly taking over the fast food universe. From plant-based burgers to fake chicken chalupas, most fast food joints out there are racing to give classic menu items a plant-based spin. Some of these new innovations are delicious, like Panda Express’ new Plant-based Orange Chicken.

Others, like Little Caesars plant-based pepperoni pizza, need some work.

You may be thinking, “Pizza doesn’t need plant-based meat!” and I’m right there with you. There are plenty of toppings that can make for a great pie, from bell peppers and onions to pineapple, jalapeños, and even just plain cheese. The classic Italian Pizza Margherita is vegetarian, after all.

The problem is, none of those toppings supply very much protein and many pizza eaters are conditioned to favor meat-based umami flavor notes — which is why Little Caesars teamed up with Field Roast to give us the Planteroni Pizza. Available now in stores across Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, San Francisco, Portland, and Detroit, the Planteroni promises the taste of “zesty pepperoni” but is made with pea protein. To see how the new fake meat stacks up, we tested this new product.

Planteroni Pizza

Price: $8.49 (regular sized pizza)

Tasting Notes

Earlier I alluded to the Planteroni having some work to do. But it’s not that I think this pea protein-based pepperoni tastes bad — it doesn’t. But Little Caesar’s Planteroni fails to deliver what makes pepperoni such an addicting topping on pizza: the grease. As you can tell from the photo above, there is something dry and incredibly anemic about this pizza topping, it looks more like a drawing of a pizza than an actual thing you’re supposed to eat.

Pepperoni works as a topping for three reasons:

1. It’s got an almost spicy peppery bite to it.
2. It features a crispy crunchy edge that toasts up in an oven perfectly.
3. It leaks just the right amount of grease onto your pizza to add an extra bit of salty goodness.

The Planteroni has none of these qualities. Does it taste like pepperoni? Sort of. It definitely has a “zesty grab-bag of spices” flavor to it. I can taste some black pepper, paprika, and fennel seed… but the texture is so wrong it’s distracting.

This plant-based pepperoni is also too thick, it doesn’t flip up on the edges in the way that oven-baked pepperoni should. Instead, it just lies there flat like someone scattered some wood chips on a perfectly good cheese pizza. Where regular pepperoni tears so easily in your mouth that you don’t even think about it, you’re going to find yourself chewing this topping so long it’s all you can think about. I’m not sure if that’s because of the pea protein it’s made of, or because it’s just cut way too thick.

My guess is that it’s a little of both and Little Caesar’s probably can’t cut it any thinner, as the pea protein structure will probably just crumble. (Vegan cured meats are tough to create — as we found out earlier this month.) Luckily, if you’re sold on adding plant-based protein to your pizza, I think there is a logical fix for the problems I’ve had with this pizza.

The Bottom Line:

If you’re a pepperoni lover and you’re looking for a plant-based alternative that will keep you away from animal-based products, this just isn’t it. It looks like pepperoni, and kind of tastes like it, but it doesn’t do for a pizza what the mighty pepperoni does.

Pro Tip:

My advice is to order this not as a single topping on your pizza, but alongside some of your other favorites. Grabbing a pizza with Planteroni, bell peppers, and jalapeños will make for a good and flavorful pie and in that sort of situation, you likely won’t miss the pepperoni. But if you’re grabbing a one-topping Planteroni and hoping to land in the ballpark of a regular pepperoni pizza, you won’t be satisfied.

Find your nearest Little Caesars here.