A Minnesota city has issued a notice to residents to please stop releasing their unwanted pet goldfish into local lakes and ponds because they are turning into Frankenfish and messing with the natural order of things.
Okay, they didn’t say Frankenfish, but take a look at the monstrous size of these goldfish. Not exactly the little fishbowl friends you find at the fair.
The city of Burnsville, Minnesota posted the plea on Facebook and Twitter, explaining what a recent fish survey had found in a local lake. “Large groups of goldfish have been observed in recent years on the lake. At high populations, goldfish can contribute to poor water quality by mucking up the bottom sediments and uprooting plants,” the post said.
“You see goldfish in the store and they’re these small little fish,” Caleb Ashling, Burnsville’s natural resources specialist, said in an interview, according to MSN. “When you pull a goldfish about the size of a football out of the lake, it makes you wonder how this can even be the same type of animal.”
There’s a common myth that goldfish will only grow to the size their enclosure allows. While there is some truth to that, according to Tropical Fish Magazine, the limited size of at-home goldfish has more to do with water quality than aquarium size. The reality is that common goldfish can grow very large in size—up to 18 inches—and their impact on ecoystems they aren’t designed for can be significant.
The city of Eagan, Minnesota, has experience with the problems invasive goldfish can cause. Several. years ago, some goldfish dumped into a pond at Eagan’s Central Park resulted in a population spun out of control, which muddied the waters and harmed native plants. It took three years of effort and a great deal of expense to rid the pond of the issue.
“We tried netting them out,” Koehle says, “and we got thousands of them, but we couldn’t get them all,” said Eagan water resources specialist Jessie Koehle, according to Minnesota Conservation Volunteer magazine. Eventually, we had to use rotenone to reclaim the pond, killing all the fish and starting over.”
“It can be a pain to figure out what to do with a goldfish that you don’t want,” Koehle said. But releasing them into a lake or pond isn’t the best solution, even if it seems like the kindest one. It’s also against the law to introduce fish into bodies of water where they don’t naturally live.
The city of Burnsville recommended that people rehome pet fish with responsible caregivers rather than release them out into nature. That’s good advice for fish owners no matter where you live. One little fish may not seem like a big deal, but when it results in an explosion of an invasive species, it can wreak havoc on ecosystems and cause real harm to other living things. If your fish didn’t come directly from the pond or the lake you’re looking at, don’t put it there. Keep pet fish in tanks, and keep the balance of nature intact.
That’s how author and journalist Michael Wolff describes the chaotic environment surrounding Donald Trump right now. Wolff went on CNN this week to share excerpts from his new book, Landslide: The Final Days of the Trump Presidency, including interactions he had with the former president and his staff when he visited Mar-A-Lago immediately after the 2020 presidential election. Wolff, who told CNN anchor John Berman that his plan when interviewing Trump post-election was to pretend to believe the president’s claims of voter fraud so that he wouldn’t get shut down by his team, revealed that even when Trump was presented with someone who appeared to subscribe to his “Big Lie” theory, he still couldn’t give any evidence to back it up.
“He just sort of fell back on this weird math that he has,” Wolff said. “What you find yourself in is a conversation with someone who lives in a separate reality.”
According to Wolff (via Raw Story), who interviewed numerous staffers for his book as well, even those closest to the former president don’t buy into his many conspiracy theories surrounding the election. In fact, the only person who seemed to enable Trump’s paranoid delusions about ballot theft and a coordinated effort from Democrats to undermine election integrity is none other than Rudy Giuliani — a man most people in Trump’s inner circle, including Trump himself, don’t particularly like.
Wolff says that Giuliani, who is “most of the time, frankly, drunk” is the most “toxic” influence on the former president, though both men are “untethered” from reality at this point and “neither are in control of their faculties”. “It’s these two men, both of them in their own way, having departed reality, who have been at the center of this country for the last four years,” he said.
He paints a fairly humiliating portrait of the former New York City mayor, calling Giuliani “a man who can’t stand the fact that he was pushed out, that he’s a non-player, over the hill, he didn’t become president, his career petered out, and because of this he was willing to do anything, willing to say anything.” And he describes the former friendship between the two men as fairly transactional:
“Trump would go around saying, ‘Rudy is drunk. Rudy falls asleep. Rudy should be put out to pasture,’” Wolff detailed. “But it doesn’t make any difference, because if Rudy was the only person — and in many cases, he was — the only person saying what the president wanted to hear, he’s back in, he’s running the show.”
Of course, after Giuliani failed to win any of the dozens of cases Trump’s “legal strike force” brought against state voting bodies and tech companies like Dominion Voting Systems, the former president kicked him to the curb but both men continue to deliver unhinged rants about voter fraud and government conspiracies from their separate bunkers. This might be why Wolff decided to write his book in the first place. Yes, these men are harebrained narcissists willing to sacrifice our democracy for attention and clout, but they’re still dangerous in their own way. Constantly reminding people that they are, in fact, lunatics might be the most effective strategy to fight against them.
100 Gecs first made waves with the glitchy hyperpop music heard on their 2019 debut album, 1,000 Gecs. Since then, 100 Gecs have dropped a remix album and fired off a few collaborations (including one with Charli XCX). Now signaling a new era, 100 Gecs unveil their massive 10,000 Gecs North American tour.
After selling out every show they’ve played, 100 Gecs are gearing up to hit the road. The 34-stop 2021 tour kicks off in October in Oakland and comes to a close two months later in Brooklyn.
Check out 100 Gecs’ 10,000 Gecs tour dates below.
10/08 — Oakland, CA @ Fox Theater
10/09 — Santa Cruz, CA @ Catalyst Atrium
10/12 — Portland, OR @ Wonder Ballroom
10/13 — Seattle, WA @ Showbox SoDo
10/15 — Salt Lake City, UT @ The Depot
10/16 —Denver, CO @ Ogden Theater
10/18 — St. Louis, MO @ The Pageant
10/19 — Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue
10/21 — Chicago, IL @ Concord Music Hall
10/22 — Louisville, KY @ Headliners Music Hall
10/23 — Detroit, MI @ Majestic Theater
10/25 — Boston, MA @ Royale
10/26 — Montreal, QC @ Corona Theater
10/27 — Toronto, ON @ Danforth Music Hall
10/29 — Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
10/30 — Norfolk, VA @ The NorVa
10/31 — Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
11/02 — Atlanta, GA @ The Eastern
11/03 — Nashville, TN @ Cannery Ballroom
11/05 — St. Petersburg, FL @ Jannus Live
11/06 — Fort Lauderdale, FL @ Revolution
11/07 — Orlando, FL @ The Beacham
11/10 — Houston, TX @ White Oak Music Hall
11/11 — Austin, TX @ Emos Ballroom
11/12 — Dallas, TX @ HiFi — Dallas
11/13 — San Antonio, TX @ Paper Tiger
11/15 — Santa Fe, NM @ Meow Wolf
11/16 — Phoenix, AZ @ The Pressroom
11/18 — San Diego, CA @ The Observatory North Park
11/19 — Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory
11/20 — Los Angeles, CA @ Shrine Expo Hall
12/08 — Philadelphia, PA @ Union Transfer
12/09 — New York, NY @ Terminal 5
After Ted Lasso scored an impressive 20 Emmy nominations, the highest ever for a freshman comedy series, one of the show’s stars fired off a response that perfectly matched his role on the show. While responding to the news that he’s been nominated for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series along with three of his co-stars (and, of course, a Best Lead Actor nod for Jason Sudeikis), British actor Brett Goldstein wrote a charming, profanity-laced email that would’ve been right at home coming from his veteran footballer character, Roy Kent.
Goldstein’s email was shared by Vanity Fair editor Katey Rich, who noted that reactions to Emmy nods are “pretty blah,” but this one was a notable exception. Via Twitter:
“Holy f***ing s***. What an incredible honor. Proper dream come true s***.
Every part of this show has felt like magic to me. To have the privilege to work on it, to get to make something with this incredible team and now for us to be nominated as a team is just too lovely. Extra special tahnks to Jason and Bill for inviting me to be part of this. What a thing…
As a cynical English guy I’m struggling to deal with all this wonderfulness. I’m not crying, you’re crying. F*** off! You’re crying. You ****.”
If you haven’t watched the now Emmy-nominated series, the first season of Ted Lasso is available to stream on Apple TV+, and new episodes will start arriving July 23 when the second season premieres.
Dr. Anthony Fauci is one of the country’s most esteemed infectious disease experts, but it would seem that he may not be as much of an authority when it comes to pop culture. It was revealed today that he’s set to meet Olivia Rodrigo at the White House tomorrow to push vaccine awareness, and it appears he doesn’t know all that much about her.
Speaking with MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell today, Fauci was asked about the impact that Rodrigo can have on vaccination rates among younger people, and his response indicates that he has just a vague idea of how influential she has become in 2021, saying, “Well, I understand that she’s a very popular figure among young individuals, and that’s what you try to do. That’s what we talk about, Andrea, when we say we want to get trusted messengers that people can relate to, as opposed to just federal officials, telling people to get vaccinated. And if she has a large following — which I understand she has an enormous following — I’m sure that she can do some good by appealing to the people who look up to her as a model.”
Dr. Anthony Fauci on Olivia Rodrigo’s visit to the White House to promote vaccination efforts:
Chiney Ogwumike is on. On court with the L.A. Sparks; on ESPN with her podcast, Chiney; on a bold and towering mural alongside Ashleigh Johnson, Alex Morgan, Oksana Masters and Chelsea Wolfe in a partnership with Secret to promote girls and women in sport; and soon, if FIBA’s multi-tiered approval process passes, on the Nigerian women’s basketball team for the upcoming Olympics alongside her sisters, Erica and Nneka.
“On” is the word the brain needs to use when describing the full force of Ogwumike, though her power is more of constant undercurrent, a steady and humming energy, than something toggled by a switch. Which is handy, because when asked to pick her favorite word — a question inspired by her once saying her big sister, Nneka’s, was “grace” — Ogwumike hesitates for the first time.
“Ooooo,” Ogwumike says with a laugh. “It’s so funny how it’s my job to know everything about other people as an analyst, and then it’s like, okay, how do I analyze myself?”
The difficulty a person as deeply perceptive as Ogwumike has in distilling herself doesn’t come from a lack of self-awareness. The challenge is that to limit herself — something you come to understand when watching her snatch up second chances under the basket, or set impervious screens to get her teammates clear so they can send the ball looping back to her for a shot from deep — goes against what feels like Ogwumike’s main drive: to go beyond.
“I’m trying to think of what the essence of my favorite word is, but it’s almost like I have this drive, this motivation, I don’t want to say Energizer bunny — it’s like, can’t stop, won’t stop type of mentality,” Ogwumike says, her voice a little scratchy from her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel the night before with guest host Wanda Sykes (“I have no voice because I was having so much fun with Wanda,” she clarifies). “So it’s not one word, but it’s fearless, almost. You know, keep going and keep progressing no matter what I’m doing. Why waste a moment?”
For Ogwumike, much of that fearlessness was instilled in her by taking up sports as a kid, and it’s that feeling she wants to instill in young girls through her partnership with Secret.
“Every athlete has, you’re told this is what you’re good at, and this is what you need to work on. You have strengths and weaknesses. I would say that for me, it’s an exercise in vulnerability, right?” she recalls. “As young girls, you are vulnerable going to school and learning and being around people for the first time and trying to find out what you like. That’s where you get tested. And I think sports is what helped give me the confidence to deal with my vulnerabilities, deal with my weaknesses and learn how to embrace my strengths instead of focusing on the possible negatives. And that’s why we find it so important to support girls in sports from the grassroots level, because that’s a huge indicator for confidence and even success at the professional level.
“That girls are falling out [of sports] at two times the rate of young boys. And yet that’s coupled with the idea that over 90 percent of women in C-suite positions — CMOs, COOs, CEOs — played sports. We have the reasoning as to why we should support women in sports and enhance the coverage,” Ogwumike stresses. “We know that no one will go harder for the next generation of young girls than us.”
Advocacy is a conduit through which much of Ogwumike’s energy flows, and why she was eventually urged into her position as VP of the WNBA Player’s Association by Nneka, the organization’s president.
The elder Ogwumike, who counts WNBA Champion and six-time All-Star as a small sampling of her accolades, has been a driving force in Chiney’s development on and off court since the two “were kids in the driveway” practicing hoops. Chiney, meanwhile, views Nneka as a “goal model,” a person who sets the bar for herself “and then also is very inclusive with us as sisters to help us achieve them as well.”
“She sets goals for herself and those goals have been infectious,” Ogwumike says about how she’s watched Nneka open doors. “And I think that’s the best thing you can do as a woman.”
Chiney and Nneka both have experience playing abroad — Nneka in Poland and Russia, and Chiney in Italy (“There’s no better life than playing the sport you love and at night, going to bed or going home and seeing the Italian countryside,” she says, “I was like, whoa, am I in a Nicholas Sparks novel?”) and China — and while it’s something that goes hand-in-hand for many WNBA players during the offseason, Ogwumike credits her time overseas as something that opened her eyes to the opportunities sports can, more widely, provide women.
Now, all three sisters are waiting to see if the doors to a more gilded global stage will open to them. With Team USA neglecting to name Nneka to their Olympic roster, the trio have been listed on the Nigerian women’s basketball team’s provisional roster, and could make history if FIBA approves Nneka and Chiney’s additions to the final 12-person team.
The Ogwumike sisters are on the threshold of history after the trio were listed in the 15 man provisional list submitted to the Nigeria Basketball Federation by Head Coach, Otis Hughley.@nnekaogwumikepic.twitter.com/Rnty1VUXgv
“I don’t know how many families can say you have three Olympians that can all play on the same team,” Ogwumike says with a chuckle. “Being Nigerian has mattered to me and my family, being American has mattered to me and my family. And it’s an opportunity we don’t take for granted. And to be able to do this with my sisters in about two weeks, say, ‘I’m an Olympian,’ that, to me. is literally a dream come true. And then it’s times three, and got to shout out my other little sister, Olivia, who is our biggest support system and keeps us on balance as well.”
Despite her proficiency and the ease at which she’s stretched out into so many meaningful directions, Ogwumike is honest about how she’s needed to find balance, even if there’s been a steep learning curve.
“Definitely don’t have balance,” she laughs. “That’s the biggest misconception when people meet me, they’re like, oh my gosh, how do you do it all? I don’t. Things get dropped, texts get dropped, you know? But people that understand that what I’m doing, meaning trying to do it all, play, be an analyst, also be an entrepreneur and find new roles that will help break down barriers. People understand that that mission is so unique and so timely, it’s amazing to see how my team has grown over the years.”
The team, “usually women” (though she credits her dad as always being a champion for her and her sisters), started out as her family and grew into coaches and, eventually, the professional group Ogwumike built and relies on to help fill in the occasional gap. She believes it’s been crucial in what she considers more important than balance: handling failure.
“When I think about balance, it’s okay not to have everything together. I learned in TV — and also basketball, but basketball is a little bit more relatable. You’re going to miss a shot. You’re going to maybe even air ball a shot. How do you handle that failure? And how does that motivate you to be better?” Ogwumike says. “On television, it’s like that on steroids because … well, let me not say steroids, but that on a million, because you make a mistake and everyone sees you immediately and judges you, typically in that male-dominated space, as a woman for that mistake. And so you realize that perfection is overrated. It’s about progress over perfection.”
That onus on progress, or pushing forward toward interests that eventually turn into goals, can so often be marred by an early misstep or the tendency to hesitate. In her Kimmel appearance, Ogwumike talks about the hesitation — a “hesi move” she calls it — that keeps people from doing something as simple as, in her example, going to a WNBA game. “Get rid of that!” She shouts, miming a shot before telling the audience, “Follow through!”
It’s the total absence of hesitation in the moves Ogwumike is making now — the development she’s done in her shooting volume with the Sparks, her stepping up to executive produce the documentary 144 about the WNBA Bubble and the league’s continued social justice leadership, her and her sisters’ commitment to going a different route regardless of what’s been historically contentious — that compels a question toward the end of our interview as to whether it’s the way she’s always approached her life.
“Wow, look at you doing deep psychology,” she says, teasingly. “No, but that’s so true. I do think so. I always say the way I learned this the most dramatically was my role with ESPN. You jump into the deep end there, they put you on it, they believe in you, they see something in you and they say, all right, let’s see what you do on air. You know, will you sink or swim? And when you have an opportunity of a lifetime, do you jump in and immerse yourself in it and see what you’re made of, or do you sort of hesitate? And that’s what really gets you in quicksand, right? You don’t want to be like that in the pool. You want to just go out there and use your skillset and swim.”
So maybe “on” isn’t the right work for Ogwumike after all. Maybe it’s off — as in lift-off, or the culmination of the countdown, the deep breath, the run and the plunge. Taking the leap before testing the water, proud with purpose, no hesi moves.
If you’re over the age of… I don’t know, 10? You probably have a complicated relationship with cereal. On the one hand, there are few things easier and more convenient to prepare than a nice bowl of cereal, so if you’re living a busy lifestyle (or just like maximizing sleep), a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios probably slots perfectly into your schedule, sugar be damned. On the other hand, while there are a lot of healthy and balanced cereals out there, the good stuff is usually pretty bad for you.
Our very own Zach Johnston illustrated this struggle perfectly in his ranking of the best grocery store cereals, writing:
“For an adult, the internal struggle of the cereal aisle is cosmic. It’s good vs. evil. The righteous path vs. the valley of the shadow of death.”
Heavy stuff, right? Well, that very same existential dread — which hangs over you every time you enter the cereal aisle — is exactly why Magic Spoon exists. The brand touts itself as being a healthy and delicious cereal for adults. Each box is low in carbs, high in protein, keto-friendly, and grain and sugar-free. There are six different flavors, each of which attempts to recall your favorites from childhood.
As a concept, it’s almost an undeniably solid idea and, since launching in 2019, online sales have continued to grow. All good so far, right?
Here’s the rub: It costs $39 for a case of four boxes and that’s the only size you can purchase. Meaning this is, in all likelihood, the most expensive cereal you’ll ever eat. Which begs the question: Does it live up to the hype and price tag? We decided to find out by ordering all six flavors, ranking them, and seeing if they compare to their sugary grocery shelf counterparts.
Let’s get to tasting!
Wait, wait, wait, no sugar OR grains? What is this stuff?
I’m glad you pretended to ask! Magic Spoon is sweetened with something called allulose, which is a sugar that is found naturally in figs, raisins, and maple syrup and is relatively new on the food scene. Pretty cool stuff! It contains 10% of the calories of regular sugar and hardly has any effect on your blood sugar levels.
The cereal itself is composed of milk proteins and tapioca extract, which is probably why every bowl immediately lodges itself into your teeth, forcing you to brush them out once you’re done. Seriously, the way this stuff gets caught in your teeth is ridiculous, be warned!
Now, can we get to tasting?
The Flavors, Ranked From Worst To Best
Worst — Peanut Butter
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: 0g Net Carbs per Serving: 4g Protein per Serving: 14g
Tasting Notes
Once I opened the inner bag of this cereal box, I was greeted with a distinct and natural peanut butter smell. That smell disappeared instantly, as soon as some cold milk hit the bowl. The initial taste was shockingly bland. After a few spoonfuls, you start to taste the peanut butter again, but it’s depressingly one-note. After I finished my serving, the milk was a dirty brown color with a bland peanut butter scent wafting off of it.
Overall, I had a bad experience with this one — easily my least favorite Magic Spoon.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
It’s clear this cereal is desperately trying to emulate Reese’s Puffs, but without the chocolate flavor worked in with the peanut butter it doesn’t quite get there. This one is very bland, if you had a bowl your first question would be, “Is this a healthy cereal?” Which I don’t think was Magic Spoon’s goal.
Also Bad — Cocoa
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: 0g Net Carbs per Serving: 4g Protein per Serving: 13g
Tasting Notes
Every flavor of Magic Spoon smells crazy intense, it’s a trend I’ll probably talk about in each entry because it’s so distinct. Cocoa has a strong chocolate scent and I was pleasantly surprised to smell some notes of roasted coffee in there too. This is easily the best-smelling flavor. On the palate, you get a blunt chocolate flavor that feels hidden under layers of texture. Unfortunately, this one doesn’t get better over time, with a barely-there flavor that is a far cry from the grocery store cereal it’s trying to imitate.
It also tastes kind of… dirty, and it’ll make your milk look like the most unappetizing version of chocolate milk you’ll ever see.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
It tastes like Cocoa Pebbles but has the texture of a Cocoa Puff. But only if those cereals were run under cold water in a strainer for a few minutes until their flavors were heavily diluted and then poured into a bowl of milk.
Good — Fruity
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: 0g Net Carbs per Serving: 4g Protein per Serving: 13
Tasting Notes
Like the Peanut Butter, the first thing you’re going to notice about Magic Spoon’s Fruity flavor is the strong scent. Similar to the first two entries, this one hits the palate with an initial dullness. There is a fruit flavor, it just takes a few spoonfuls to activate and build. Not sure why this has a tendency to happen with Magic Spoon flavors, I thought maybe they needed milk to activate the flavors, but I gave this one a dry taste test as well to check on that theory. Same experience — dullness that picks up in flavor over time. Very weird.
Having said that, this one really started to grow on me as I worked through the bowl.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
This stuff really tastes like Froot Loops! It doesn’t have that same intense burst of initial flavor, but if you’re a hardcore Froot Loops head and you’re trying to kick the habit of eating a bowl of sugar every morning, give this a try — you won’t be disappointed.
I’ve never been a big Froot Loop fan but, for me, this is easily better than the real thing.
Good — Frosted
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: Net Carbs per Serving: Protein per Serving:
Tasting Notes
Before I had my first taste of Magic Spoon, I assumed the Fruity and Frosted flavors would be my least favorite, and once I opened the box of Frosted, I was sure I was going to hate it. The smell coming off of this thing is sickly sweet to the point that it actually made my stomach turn — though that might’ve been a result of eating a bunch of bowls of cereal in one sitting.
But once I was actually able to bring myself to taste Frosted, I was instantly sold. This is just a great sugary-tasting cereal with a flavor reminiscent of marshmallows. The texture is a bit different than the other Magic Spoon flavors, giving you a bit of crunch that never goes soggy.
Real talk: This could stand up alongside the sugary stuff at the grocery store and hold its weight. The box looks dope, too.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
“Frosted” is a very misleading name, considering how many frosted cereals there are out there. But the box art makes it clear, this is supposed to be Lucky Charms. The thing about Lucky Charms is, it has a distinct oatey flavor to it, that’s obviously not here. But if you ever wanted a bowl of Lucky Charms that contained only the marshmallows, this is kind of that! Only without the fun shapes.
Great — Blueberry
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: Net Carbs per Serving: Protein per Serving:
Tasting Notes
This one has easily the strongest smell of all the flavors. Before I opened the inner bag, I could smell the blueberries. Touching the box made my hand smell like blueberries, I’m not kidding! I don’t know what the hell the dudes who created Magic Spoon are doing to their cereal, but they’ve unlocked the secrets of smell for Consumer Product Goods.
Anyway, let’s talk about this flavor. It’s bursting with blueberry flavor and tastes about as far from a health cereal as you can imagine. While the flavor is very one-note — it’s like eating the top of a blueberry muffin — it’s the only flavor that reminded me that cereals are better with mix-ins. After a few spoonfuls, I cut up half a banana and threw it in the bowl for a delicious experience. It’s not fair to rank it with the banana, but it’s definitely something you should keep in mind when pouring yourself a bowl.
Unless you’re doing keto, in which case, forget it.
The only thing I didn’t like was how this cereal made the milk look after. It looked like purple poison.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
Not sure this has an actual grocery aisle counterpart. Blueberry Cheerios maybe? I’d take these over that any day. Seriously, mix that banana in, it’s an amazing experience.
Fully Reccomended — Cinnamon
Dane Rivera
Sugar per Serving: 0g Net Carbs per Serving: 4g Protein per Serving: 12g
Tasting Notes
If you’ve already decided that Magic Spoon is for you, start with the Cinnamon flavor — it’s easily the best. Smell is such a strong component of the Magic Spoon experience and the Cinnamon flavor had the best smell, with comforting notes of cinnamon and sugar. It’s hard to believe this bowl has 0 grams of sugar.
On the palate, the cinnamon sugar flavor reveals subtle hints of maple, that help to flavor the milk and make this a bowl that’s actually worth drinking. From smell to taste to how it flavors the milk, this is Magic Spoon’s best.
How Does It Compare To The Real Thing?
This is almost as good as Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that this 0 grams of sugar box of cereal is as good as something so sweetened it has crystals of sugar caked onto it, but this comes so damn close. One thing it does better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the mouthfeel — this doesn’t have the jagged edges and roof-of-your-mouth-scarring texture that Cinnamon Toast Crunch has, making it easier to eat.
My suggestion is you pick up a variety pack (four flavors of your choosing) over a single flavor case, but make sure two of those flavors are Cinnamon. You’ll want a second box of this before a first box of the bottom three options.
Two things are true about most big award shows like the Emmys. The first is that they’re very silly on a macro level. Art is a subjective thing and trying to select an objective winner from a field that contains thousands of options on hundreds of channels and streaming channels is an exercise in lunacy. It’s impossible. Even just narrowing it all down to a list of a few nominees is a process that should take teams of experts many years and burn through dozens and dozens of spreadsheets. We should all recognize this as madness and treat it as such.
The second true thing is that, once the nominations are announced, I will promptly toss all that rational thought straight into the nearest toilet and develop strong beliefs about who should win and why. I will get heated. I will get mad about it. It happened again today, literally moments after the nominees were announced. It’s not a healthy way to live, recognizing something as utter hooey and deciding to get furious about it anyway. But here we are. I feel okay about it.
Below, I have listed the five nominees I am most passionate about in this moment, as well as various threats I may or may not follow through with should they not be recognized. For legal reasons, let’s say this is all in jest.
I won’t really do any of this.
Unless you disregard my demands.
Haha.
But really.
Pay attention.
DO IT
HBO Max
Nominee: Jean Smart Nominated For: Outstanding Comedy Actress (Hacks), Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series (Mare of Easttown) What I Will Do If She Does Not Win: Seize control of the oceans and send floods of salty wet chaos through the streets of Hollywood
It is extremely cool that Jean Smart is having this huge career resurgence here in 2021, in part because she deserves it on the merits and in part because she’s just cool, in general. The best way to cap it all off is to open the Emmys by handing her a trophy and then just continuing to hand her trophies until her knees start to buckle under the weight of all the awkwardly shaped hunks of gold, or until she asks us to stop. But that seems a little unlikely at this point, as she was only nominated for these two, one for comedy and one for drama. That’s still pretty cool, though, to be recognized in two different styles of acting on two different shows in the same year. I hope she wins both. I suppose I will settle for one. But I will have my trident by my side all night just in case.
COME ON
Nominee: Brett Goldstein Nominated For: Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series (Ted Lasso) What I Will Do If He Does Not Win: Upend every full trash can on my street for the next four weeks
The tricky thing here is the competition. The field is just loaded, and loaded specifically with his Ted Lasso co-stars. That’s why my threat is less severe. Because, while it is very important to me on a personal level that the man responsible for bringing Roy Kent to the world be recognized for doing so, I don’t see how I can stay angry for too long if the award goes to Brendan Hunt for playing Coach Beard or to Nick Mohammed for playing Nate, or even to Kenan Thompson or Bowen Yang for their work on SNL. How has Kenan not won an Emmy for acting yet? That’s infuriating, too. I might just knock over those trash cans regardless of the outcome at this point. Someone is getting hosed here. Give them all a trophy.
No. No. We stick with Roy. The man says the f-word better than anyone else on television. And look at how he reacted to this nomination.
Nominee: Rosie Perez Nominated For: Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series (The Flight Attendant) What I Will Do If She Does Not Win: Drive across the country switching the weird orange shredded cheese and the carrots in random salad bars
Rosie Perez is the best and has been the best for a few decades now. She was so good in The Flight Attendant, and one of the main reasons the show became more than just the fizzy and fun flight of fancy it could have been. She provided the menace, the stakes, the level of real concern that helps to elevate a stylish murder mystery into something more. She did exactly what one needs to do in a supporting role: carried a handful of small scenes, shaded in the areas around the bright colors, and stole a few little moments here and there. It was great. Rosie Perez is great. And I really want to hear her give an acceptance speech when she’s done, because Rosie Perez is the coolest.
I SWEAR TO GOD
Nominee:WandaVision Nominated For: Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics (“Agatha All Along”) What I Will Do If It Does Not Win: Bees
I suppose this one is a long shot because it is up against Bo Burnham. I could absolutely see voters looking at his nomination and checking that box because his special, Inside, was deep and groundbreaking and introspective and dealt with the emotions we all worked through over a year of being largely stuck inside too, and that’s fair. It was all of those things. But please do not look at that and discount “Agatha All Along” as light superhero fluff. It was so good. And funny. And actually important to the plot of a surprisingly good and fun show. And it gave Kathryn Hahn an excuse to go just as huge as she wanted with it, which is not something we should ever discount. Because if you do…
Bees.
But again, I’m just joking.
Unless I’m not.
Disregard the buzzing you hear.
MOFF GIDEON
Lucasfilm
Nominee: Giancarlo Esposito Nominated For: Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series (The Mandalorian) What I Will Do If He Does Not Win: Send a strongly worded letter to my congressperson
Three things worth noting here:
Giancarlo Esposito has somehow never won an Emmy for playing Gus Fring across two excellent shows over a period of like 10 years, which is madness
We should give him an Emmy
I would like it a lot if someone won a prestigious award for playing a character named “Moff Gideon”
Media availability in the NBA has gone through a rather large change this season as gone are the locker room scrums after games and on-court scrums after practices and shootarounds. Players instead came to a designated room where they sat in at a table in front of a camera for Zoom availability, talking to reporters through the screen rather than crowded in front of them.
In the Finals, there are now select, vaccinated media in the room, but also still folks there virtually. As such the podium set-up remains and players come in and out, all sitting in the same spot to talk to the assembled press. It’s a pretty efficient set-up but comes with one pitfall for the players that might not have been considered for the post-practice availabilities: sweaty seats.
After games, players have typically showered and changed before they come talk to the media, so this isn’t an issue, but after practice they stroll in fresh off the court. That means, for some, they come in very sweaty and leave a, well, uncomfortable spot for the next person to come into. Jrue Holiday was on the wrong end of that when he arrived at the podium on Tuesday and put his hand down to ease himself onto the seat and immediately asked if someone had been there before him. Upon learning it was PJ Tucker, all he could say is “makes sense.”
I really do love that as soon as he found out it was Tucker he went from borderline concerned about how much sweat someone left behind to completely unsurprised. His explanation that he’ll be alright cause he’s about to go shower anyways is great, but him closing it with “no, he was workin, he was workin,” is the best part. Jrue’s not trying to sweat shame PJ, but it certainly startled him when he first touched that “extremely” wet chair. Maybe going forward we can start getting an extra chair to rotate in and out while the other gets wiped down.
Bebe Rexha released her new album Better Mistakes just a few months ago, but that hasn’t stopped new singles, videos, and collaborations from the prolific pop star. She’s also been part of the “Getting Better Together” campaign to advocate for mental health and shared about her own journey with mental illness. On her recent collaboration with Topic, the star got serious with the “Chain My Heart” lyrics and has now shared a video that gets pretty literal.
While decked out in a chain-link bodysuit, Bebe flexes and dances alongside plenty of similarly scantily clad dancers before Topic watches from the shadows. Bebe is clearly the star of the show here, but she’s working with slightly more electronic production than on her latest album, a hat tip to Topic’s production and perhaps more proof that veering into other genres — say, like metal? — isn’t a bad idea. Bebe’s voice is so versatile it works across any form of production, and she even manages to make a bodysuit of chains look comfortable.
Given her other recent collaborations, like “Break My Heart Myself” with Travis Barker, Bebe works great when she’s collaborating with another artist, so expect even more of that in the future.
Check out the “Chain My Heart” video above.
Bebe Rexha is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
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