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Last June, the most popular movie on Netflix, 365 Dni (Polish for 365 Days), was also highly controversial. The film (which was not produced by Netflix and was, in fact, a Polish movie distributed by Next Film) captured the same audience as the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, which already had enough issues with consent to be questionable. Yet those films looked tame compared to a story about a Sicilian Mafia boss who kidnapped a woman and gave her a year to essentially develop Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with him. Well, plenty of viewers were here for a horny boat scene, and there’s more of that type of thing coming soon.

The film was based upon Blanka Lipińska’s book trilogy, which means that there’s plenty more source material out there to follow up with. People watched the heck out of the first movie, despite Rotten Tomatoes scores of 0% (from critics) and 29% (from audiences) and Netflix is gonna do the thing by making two more sequels. It’s an eyebrow-raising move, given that (as Deadline recalls), the film drew 95,000 signatures on a petition for Netflix to remove the film from streaming, and that effort was joined by Welsh singer Duffy, who publicly spoke out about her own kidnapping ordeal, in which she was held captive and raped. The marketing on the sequels thus far, however, emphasizes a steamy romance and, now, a rivalry.

According to the film’s logline (via Netflix), “Laura and Massimo are back and hotter than ever. But the reunited couple’s new beginning is complicated by Massimo’s family ties and a mysterious man who enters Laura’s life to win her heart and trust, at any cost.” Netflix quotes Łukasz Kluskiewicz, their Content Acquisition Manager in Poland as saying, “365 Days was one of our most popular films for our members in 2020. We’re working closely with Blanka Lipinska, the author of the 365 Days trilogy of books and writer of the film, to continue Laura and Massimo’s story on screen. Their journey together is full of many twists and turns as our characters continue to grow and learn more about themselves.”

The appeal of “nice” comedy was obvious during the last 15 months or so of angst and isolation. Stuck in our homes, we clung to new classic comfort food like The Office and Parks And Rec while bringing The Good Place, Superstore, and Schitt’s Creek in for gentle landings and discovering the charms of Ted Lasso’s optimism.

With all of these shows, characters led with heart and soul while navigating the awkward yet largely benign bits of life and work. They reflected a better time with better people living a version of normal — with empathy and consideration — that we wanted to sit with. No one was aggressively mean to each other or willing to stab supposed friends in the back. Not like on Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Curb, and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, shows that are hilarious, iconic, and which also got their share of rewatches, but which didn’t offer as much emotional nourishment.

Success begets success, and so we’ve seen new shows come in with an eye on echoing the tone of things that have been working. Rutherford Falls, as an example, draws inspiration from a lot of those shows (some more than others). Is it funny? Not really, but everyone seems pleasant and there are worse ways to spend a five-hour binge.

There is a third option, though, shows where the characters can be occasional assholes while still showing pops of humanity and growth. A type of show that might be a better fit for these times, because a lot of assholes need to show pops of humanity and growth.

Broad City was a show like that. The Other Two seems like it’s aiming to be that kind of show. Ditto Girls5Eva (which is so smart, so funny, and so worth your time). Mythic Quest absolutely is that kind of show. And so too is Hacks, a new series (which is now available to stream on HBO Max) that somehow manages to find common ground and heart despite a generational chasm between two neurotic main characters who are often awful at being people and worse at being kind to each other.

Created by Broad City alums Lucia Aniello, Paul Downs, and Jen Statsky, Hacks has Jean Smart playing Deborah Vance, an absolute diva and stand-up comedy icon whose career is sputtering. Enter Hannah Einbinder, who plays Ava, a young comedy writer whose plan for ascension is blocked by a mean tweet that got her sort of canceled and a personality that isn’t helping matters.

When we’re introduced to her, Deborah is more brand than person, something that takes careful planning, hard work, and slavish repetition — a behind-the-curtain hustle that is shown in great detail. It’s the kind of life that makes someone allergic to revealing their vulnerable side or slowing down. And Hacks does such a good job of exploring what that means for a person as Deborah is confronted by the reality of where she is in her career and the presence of Ava. Despite that praise, it might be how the show portrays Ava that’s most noteworthy.

I’ll use the SNL Gen Z hospital sketch from the Elon Musk episode as a contrast. The joke there is that Gen Z kids communicate differently, making it hard for people not of that generation to understand. Now, perhaps the point is to dunk on people who throw their hands up and don’t try to understand anyone under 30, but it comes off like a slam on “these kids today.” And that’s an easy trap to fall down and one that I thought might ensnare Hacks with Ava, who isn’t explicitly Gen Z, but who is likely close enough to that age range (I think it tops out at 24).

Clearly, the writers here (the creators are in their mid-30s) want to say something profound about Ava and someone who is ambitious and needs to believe they have it all figured out (even when they don’t) while in their 20s. But there’s added dimension to Ava with clearly more to come. She isn’t a collection of catchphrases and cliches about being in your 20s made for an audience that’s not.

How Deborah and Ava connect is the most profound part of the show at this stage because it speaks to a gap that is supposedly insurmountable. Because it’s easier to shrug and think that people only move in separate lanes, one for those 35 and older who are hurdling toward the societal death of pop culture irrelevance and the other for those younger who are on a much longer (much more fun) road to the same place when they too get usurped by whatever comes next in a decade or so. Easier to forget the ties that bind.

I’m in my 30s and I’ve retained far too much about shows and movies that other people rightly brand as forgettable. Occasionally, I’ll talk with friends who are a few years younger and who are fortunate enough to have not been raised totally by television or who are blessed to be able to purge the very purge-worthy minutia of pop culture (because not everything needs to stick to the wall). With these people, I will reference things from the before times of the ‘90s and ‘80s, registering a blank. And while it can momentarily flash as something worth getting exasperated with, context matters.

We are in a moment right now where there is an endless ocean of content. And the waters are rising. Every day, with approximately 900 streaming channels and content studios churning out new things for us to watch and obsess over. With this, it is impossible to absorb it all but necessary to absorb a lot of it. Because it’s all so good and all so relevant to the pop culture conversation that helps to connect us.

When I was a teenager, this was not the case. Fewer channels meant less content. And so I drifted to the past and consumed a diet of reruns that aren’t as in people’s faces now with algorithms recirculating the things like the things we just watched. How could we possibly expect someone to know about super obscure things from long ago if those things are made to be needles in a haystack?

Listen, it’s cold out there when people don’t click with your obscure tastes. You feel weird for hanging onto specific memories of Duckman, Kids In The Hall, or old Conan sketches, but it’s natural. Nobody is the asshole in the pop culture generation wars. Just don’t be totally dug in against the idea of experiencing the refreshing new things (which are so vibrant, deep, unique, and representative of a wider world) or the foundational old things. And don’t buy into the forces that say we have to be divided with our interests and restricted to what’s assigned to our designated labels.

This is why it was so weird to see people freak out over that Scorsese thing when he was talking about the value of curation (among other things). People shouldn’t be afraid of smart people saying “hey, this new thing improves on an old idea” or “this old thing is cool and it influenced this new thing.” And I would hope people wouldn’t feel condescended to by what is meant to be a helpful act. When it’s meant that way and people aren’t confusing an invitation to a party with the deed to the whole house, painting everything they love as important or relevant or better than. As with all things, balance. The goal is to find the cool shit.

Anyway, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong and I didn’t mean to go off on a rant here… which is a reference to an obscure ’90s thing that nobody should feel obligated to know about. The point to all of this is Hacks is the rare thing that is trying to build a bridge between generations. Deborah will gradually learn to appreciate Ava’s unique perspective and Ava will learn how groundbreaking Deborah was and what she had to sacrifice to get where she is. All that is informing these characters and driving this show toward a place where it can live in that third TV comedy bucket where it’s neither dripping in sentiment or acid. To be sure, this is a funny and complicated story about assholes gradually becoming smaller assholes and better friends. A story about grudging connection and making fun of things together instead of apart. It’s a story for these specific times and a broad audience.

The first two episodes of ‘Hacks’ can be streamed on HBO Max with additional episodes dropping on Thursdays.

Considering her coolly poised presentation and jazzy vocal style, it might have surprised some fans to find that Jorja Smith has a song on her new EP called “Bussdown.” However, rather than a ratchet anthem, Jorja delivered a laid-back, reggae-influenced song that found her flexing, expressing her pride in being a self-made woman who can afford to treat herself. The video takes things a step further, imagining a world in which male-female dynamics are reversed by depicting the transaction between Jorja as an unscrupulous mechanic and her customer, who doesn’t realize he’s the one being taken for a ride.

While the visuals depict their glamorous exploits, Jorja and guest rapper Shaybo’s lyrics highlight how their money doesn’t absolve foul treatment at the hands of a male-dominated society or in their relationships. “If I go broke today, will you stay or leave?” questions Shaybo. Meanwhile, Jorja’s chorus sums up the reason for their vengeful mood: “Feels so bad to feel nice,” she croons. “But she can’t handle that, it comes with a small price.”

“Bussdown” appears on Jorja’s new EP Be Right Back, which dropped last night. The eight-track effort is her first since 2018’s Lost & Found.

Watch the video for “Bussdown” above and listen to Be Right Back here.
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After more than a year without live shows, Chicago has officially given major festivals the clearance to return in 2021. Earlier this week, the city’s major festival Lollapalooza was given the go-ahead to return at nearly full capacity and now, Riot Fest is announcing their 2021 return.

Taking place at Douglass Park in Chicago September 17–19 2021, Chicago’s punk rock-leaning festival announced that they’ve invited artists like Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, and Run the Jewels to headline their event. Other booked acts include Pixies, Vic Mensa, Lupe Fiasco, Circle Jerks, Coheed & Cambria, K.Flay, Meg Myers, Beach Bunny, Faith No More, a reunited Mr. Bungle, DEVO, NOFX, Dinosaur Jr., Motion City Soundtrack, Sublime With Rome, Big Freedia, Pup, Andrew W.K., Gwar, Ratboys, F*cked Up, Best Coast, Kennyhoopla, Beach Goons, Eyedress, Ganser, Melkbelly, Joywave, and many more. The festival also noted that more artists are expected to be announced as the festival draws nearer.

While Riot Fest has just unveiled the majority of their 2021 lineup, they’re already teasing next year’s event. My Chemical Romance was slated to take the Riot Fest stage in 2020. But since the event was canceled, they’ve announced that My Chemical Romance will be instead returning for 2022.

Check out Riot Fest’s 2021 lineup above.

Three-day passes to Riot Fest 2021 are on sale now. Get them here.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Back in April, news hit that Amazon’s Lord of the Rings series will cost $465 million just for the first season. That’s apparently on top of the $250 million that the streaming studio reportedly paid the Tolkien estate for the global rights. So, there’s a reason why Amazon’s attempt at making the next Game of Thrones has been called one of the most expensive TV series ever made.

During a panel discussion of Hollywood’s most powerful women, Amazon Studios chief Jennifer Salke got candid about the LOTR series’ hefty price tag, and why “the market is crazy” right now as evidenced by the $469 million that Netflix is paying Rian Johnson for two Knives Out sequels. However, she argues the price is worth it because the money that Amazon is investing now will streamline production on later seasons of the Middle-earth series. Although, Salke does concede that the whole thing requires a massive audience showing up, which is a pretty big gamble. Via The Hollywood Reporter:

This is a full season of a huge world-building show. The number is a sexy headline or a crazy headline that’s fun to click on, but that is really building the infrastructure of what will sustain the whole series. But it is a crazy world and various people on this Zoom, mostly Bela and me, have been in bidding situations where it starts to go incredibly high. There’s a lot of wooing and we have to make decisions on where we want to stretch and where we want to draw the line. As for how many people need to watch Lord of the Rings? A lot. (Laughs.) A giant, global audience needs to show up to it as appointment television, and we are pretty confident that that will happen.

Set thousands of years before the events of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, the Amazon series will focus on the Second Age of Middle-earth when Sauron first created the One Ring. According to the official synopsis, the series will “take viewers back to an era in which great powers were forged, kingdoms rose to glory and fell to ruin, unlikely heroes were tested, hope hung by the finest of threads, and the greatest villain that ever flowed from Tolkien’s pen threatened to cover all the world in darkness.”

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

Internet Money’s new single “His & Hers” arrived yesterday amid a packed New Music Friday slate, but that doesn’t detract from its hit potential. To refocus fans’ attention on the single, the production duo consisting of Nick Mira and Taz Taylor released the Cole Bennett-directed video today, prompting some celebratory tweets from Taylor.

As with most Lyrical Lemonade productions, director Cole Bennett imagines a fantastical world for his stars Don Toliver, Gunna, and Lil Uzi Vert to play around in, this time taking inspiration from nostalgia for the Windows XP default desktop backgrounds of his youth (dear God, I feel old). While Don Toliver performs his verse on a grassy hilltop under a partially cloudy blue sky, Gunna’s performance takes place in a cubical room with a similar pattern on the walls and ceiling. Meanwhile, Toliver gets to frolic among a field of sunflowers during the chorus, and Uzi tools around on the surface of the moon. For group shots, all three appear in a misty forest setting, dressed in outlandish camo hunting outfits.

Watch Internet Money’s “His & Hers” video featuring Don Toliver, Gunna, and Lil Uzi Vert above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Linguine with white clam sauce is a dish that unites the Italian-American and traditional Italian culinary scenes. The dish is meant to be bright, light, garlicky, and full of briny clams. It’s also a textural delight. The bright and lightly dressed pasta is topped with toasted bread crumbs cut with lemon zest, bringing another level of brightness and crunch.

I always make and order this with the clams inside their shells. I’m a purist, I guess. But really, this dish is all about the flavor you get from cooking those clams in the shell in all that wine, butter, and garlic. Without the shells, you lose a lot of the deep brininess and broth-making aspects of the liquid inside those shells.

As for dealing with the shells while you eat, I’ve seen two tactics used in Italy. Some folks tend to eat the pasta and fork clams out separately. It basically goes: A few twisted forks of pasta and then a few clams, repeat. Another tactic I’ve seen — and the one I tend to use — is folks will first de-shell all the clams into the pasta once it’s served. Then you basically just eat the pasta and the clams mix in as you eat.

It’s up to you how to eat your clam linguine. We’re your friend, not your mom.

One last note, you don’t need cream for this recipe. You only really see cream in Italian-American variations. Traditionally, butter is used to mount the sauce at the end of the cook. When you add butter to a reduced sauce (reduced from something like white wine), you get a creamy albeit much lighter and delicate sauce.

Okay, let’s get into it!

Linguine with White Clam Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1/2-lb. steamer clams
• 1 lemon
• 1 head of garlic
• 1 handful of parsley
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter
• 1/2 bottle white wine
• 1-lb. fresh linguine pasta
• Salt
• Black Pepper
• Olive oil
• 1/2 cup bread crumbs
• 1/2 cup fried finely diced pancetta
• Optional: Freshly grated parmesan

I didn’t have time to make fresh pasta. So I bought one pound of fresh linguine. It’s perfectly fine for this dish. Though, I’d argue that dried linguine is also fine at the end of the day, though not preferred.

The rest is pretty straightforward. I’m using a Lugana white wine from Lombardy right next to Venice. It’s a light white wine that’s specifically crafted to work with seafood. You can grab the bottle by clicking on the name above. Or find a light white wine that works well with seafood from the wine region nearest you.

Other than that, you’re going to need fresh clams. I’m from the Seattle area, so fresh seafood like this was always a given for me. If you can’t find fresh clams, maybe skip this ish. Sure, you can use the jar of clams. But then you’ll want to get a proper seafood broth and put in half that and half the amount of white wine to balance out the flavor profile and… just wait until you have clam access.

What You’ll Need:

• Large saute pan
• Large stockpot
• Cutting board
• Kitchen knife
• Fine grater
• Tongs
• Large spoon
• Food processor or blender

Method:

• Bring a large pot of water to a boil with a good punch of sea salt.
• Slice the garlic, mince the pancetta, and finely chop the parsley.
• Finely grate the lemon rind.
• Add the pancetta to a cold saute pan with about a tablespoon of olive oil and put on medium-high heat.
• Once the pancetta is browned, remove it to a waiting plate with paper towels to cool and drain excess fat.
• Add another tablespoon (or so) of olive oil to the saute pan and add the garlic. Cook for about a minute until very fragrant.
• Add a large glug of the wine to the pan to bring up the fond and soften the garlic.
• Add one layer of clams in the pan and cover with wine until the liquid is just over the shells.
• Bring to a low simmer and cook until liquid is reduced by half.
• In the meantime, add the bread crumbs, lemon zest, and pancetta to a blender or food processor and pulse until well mixed and the consistency of large sand.
• Once the clams have opened and the wine has reduced, add the butter to the liquid to mount the sauce. Use the tongs to emulsify the butter to the wine (it should get creamy). Taste the sauce and add salt to season to taste.
• Drop the pasta into the boiling water and cook until al dente (or a minute below the package’s instructions).
• Use the tongs to transfer the pasta from the pot to the pan, making sure to bring a little pasta water with the pasta. Move the pasta around in a circular motion to dress with the sauce.
• Remove the pan from the heat and hit with half a lemon of juice and mix in with the tongs.
• Sprinkle the pasta with the chopped parsley, cracked black pepper, and bread crumb mix and serve immediately.
• Optionally sprinkle with freshly grated parmesan.

Bottom Line:

This was the perfect lunch. The best part is that it’s light but full of flavor. The sauce is a buttery, lemony, briny, garlicky delight and works wonders on the thin-ish linguine delivery system.

The clams add a nice textual counterpoint and bring a chill seaside vibe to the dish. The lemon and pancetta in the breadcrumbs is a real highlight in both a textural crunch and bright yet savory layer.

I ended up hitting my pasta with a little freshly grated parmesan. But, it didn’t really need it. When I went back for seconds, I didn’t bother with the cheese again.

I shelled my clams first and then tucked in. I just prefer it that way. But I get eating some creamy lemony pasta and then popping in a clam every now and then as a change of pace. Either way works.

The best part is that this is pretty easy to make and doesn’t take a crazy amount of time. All told, this was about 30 minutes from start to finish. And as you can see — those 30 minutes were absolutely worth it!

J. Cole dropped his sixth studio album, and NBA players cannot get enough of it. Cole’s first release since 2018, The Off-Season became available to listeners on Friday at midnight, with fans taking to social media to heap praise on the record.

NBA players decided to join in on the fun, shouting out just about everything from the lyrics, to the album’s production, to the mere fact that Cole — who is adding professional basketball player to his list of responsibilities by joining the Patriots Basketball Club of the Basketball Africa League — put together a new album.

One player, Eric Paschall of the Golden State Warriors, ran into some trouble trying to listen to it right at midnight, but eventually got to listen and really liked what he heard.

Plenty of dudes had something to say about the number of nods Cole gave to the basketball world. Ja Morant appreciated getting some love on “My Life,” Bradley Beal was glad to see Russell Westbrook’s name get dropped on “Amari,” and both C.J. McCollum and Donovan Mitchell were fans of Cole sampling Damian Lillard’s postgame comments after he dropped 61 points on the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA’s Orlando Bubble on “Punchin’ the Clock.”

And unsurprisingly, Dennis Smith Jr. had the highest possible praise for his friend from Fayetteville.

It has been a long but memorable sixth season of Fear the Walking Dead, which has seen the series creatively rebound from one of the worst seasons in The Walking Dead to one of — if not the — best season in the universe. We’ve seen the series take a more intimate approach to its stories; we’ve seen two major character deaths; we’ve seen two of the most devastating episodes ever, and we’ve seen the introduction of a new Big Bad.

It may be difficult to remember, then, that the season began with Morgan stealing a key from two random characters (that he subsequently killed), who we would learn later are a part of the new cult, The Mole People. The Mole People have subsequently been trying to retrieve the key, which they finally did in the most recent episode, which saw the upsetting stillbirth of Grace’s baby.

So what is the key for? It belongs to the nuclear submarine we saw in the sixth season premiere, which had “The end is the beginning” spray-painted on it by the Mole People cult.

Its importance, meanwhile, has come into sharper focus over the last couple of episodes, as we were introduced to Teddy and his people. They all live in an underground, self-sustaining bunker, where they grow their own food and believe that death gives rise to life. It’s not hard to see where this is going. They live underground because they plan to use the key to the submarine to set off a nuclear bomb. They will kill everything in the area, live underground for a few years, and then resurface after everything has been wiped out: “The end is the beginning.”

The descriptions for the final four episodes of the season bear that out. In episode 6×13, “J.D.,” June “splits off to gather information to help stop an oncoming threat” (that threat being nuclear annihilation). The “J.D.” is probably either a reference to her dead husband, John Dorie, or his father, who was connected to Teddy, the leader of the Mole People, before the zombie apocalypse. He was a serial killer.

In 6×14, “Mother,” Alicia “reunites with old friends and must confront her past.” That may be a reference to her mother, Madison. I don’t expect that Kim Dickens will actually return, but Alicia may have to confront feelings about her mother while trying to escape Teddy and The Mole People.

Episode 6×15 is called “USS Pennsylvania,” which is probably the name of the nuclear submarine. In that episode, “Motives are revealed and convictions are tested as our heroes rush to stop Teddy’s plan.” Teddy’s plan, obviously, is setting off a nuclear bomb. In 6×16, “The Beginning,” the synopsis states that “everyone desperately scrambles to live out the coming destruction on their own terms.”

The question is: Does Teddy’s plan to set off the nuclear bomb succeed? It won’t be the end of the series — and everyone won’t die — because Fear has been renewed for a seventh season. However, it is possible that the nuclear bomb goes off, and the survivors are forced to live in the underground bunker. This would actually give the series an opportunity for a big time-jump, which would allow it to catch up with the parent series, should the two need to intersect or engage with one another or the CRM storyline in The World Beyond. After all, there’s still a connection between Fear and the CRM in Fear’s present storyline, because Althea is still involved with Isabelle, the CRM helicopter lady, although Isabelle is not apparently the daughter of Elizabeth, the head of the CRM, because Huck is.

In any respect, there at least looks like there’s an opportunity here — with the nuclear bomb — for all three series to exist on the same timeline again. That may be crucial ahead of the eventual Rick Grimes movie.

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — Listen to me

I don’t know what exactly has gotten into the people in Hollywood lately, but they have been casting big-time projects like no one might get to make another big-time project ever again. Succession has wrangled every tall actor working in Hollywood, your Skarsgards and Brodys, in addition to Sanaa Lathan. The Righteous Gemstones just added Jason Schwartzman and Eric Andre, which is incredible, as well as Eric Roberts, which is incredible. Eric Roberts is so perfect for that show. Put him in a suit and sit him behind a big expensive desk and let him sneer at Danny McBride. That’s a whole show right there. I’m excited. I was already excited because The Righteous Gemstones is just about a perfect television show, but now I’m like, more excited.

But nothing can touch the casting work being done on the sequel to Knives Out. The impressive thing is that we still don’t even know who everyone is playing. All we know for sure is that Daniel Craig and his Southern accent are back to investigate a murder and that this time he’s doing it in Greece. This is… good. It’s already good. But then you look at the list of names that has been trickling out this week and it gets even better. I mean…

After playing a nosy neighbor with a secret in Marvel’s WandaVision, Kathryn Hahn looks to have found another fun role where the character may also be keeping some sort of secret. Sources tell Deadline, Hahn is set to join Daniel Craig in the next installment, which Netflix recently landed the rights too. Dave Bautista, Janelle Monae and Edward Norton were also recently added to the cast.

The only problem with that list of names is that it is impossible to read it and not immediately start dreamcasting other actors and actresses who would be a blast in a Knives Out movie, especially as a murderer. I’ve been doing it for like six days now and I can’t stop. It is too much fun. We deserve to have some fun. Let’s all do it forever.

That said, there are two things worth noting before we begin. The first is that these are not actual casting suggestions that I want Rian Johnson to read and take to heart. He’s doing fine on his own. And who am I, really? Just some doofus with a decent WiFi connection. I would be more mortified if he did read this and take my advice. It’s not that I’m wrong (I am great at this, wait and see), it’s just that he has better stuff to do and also is not paying me.

The second thing is that I had Kathryn Hahn on my list before he cast her and I’m leaving her on it because I HAD IT FIRST, OKAY?

Thank you.

Kathryn Hahn

Kathryn Hahn would be so good as the murderer in a Knives Out movie. This would have been a true statement before her turn in WandaVision but it is somehow even more true now. Kathryn Hahn is the best, just in general, but she is really the best at playing deranged goofballs. I think it’s the eyes. I am glad she is in Knives Out 2. I hope they let her kill one or possibly many people.

Anthony Carrigan

Knives Out characters have to toe that line between silly and menacing and I don’t know if anyone anywhere is as suited for that as the genius who brought NoHo Hank to life in Barry. I would be fine if he just played NoHo Hank in Knives Out, if I’m being honest. I imagine we would need to get lawyers involved on that one, though. Let’s call him… SoHo Frank? Everything else rolls over.

Yvette Nicole Brown

Something about the person who played dear sweet Shirley on Community showing up as the killer in a high-profile murder mystery brings me a lot of joy when I think about it, which seems to be the only requirement so far in the casting. It could work. Let the people have it.

Walton Goggins

This is so good for reasons I have elaborated on in each of the 300 posts I have written about how much Walton Goggins kicks ass, so, in lieu of rehashing all of it again, please just enjoy my favorite picture from his Getty archive. It’s fun to pretend he’s playing a villain and those are his henchmen.

Literally anyone from Always Sunny

Rob McElhenney? Yes, of course. Charlie Day? Absolutely. Kaitlin Olson? Would be tremendous. Glenn Howerton? Reasonable arguments can be made that he was born to do exactly this. Danny DeVito? I mean, you see where I’m headed with that one. Hell, just do a whole crossover. Send Benoit Blanc to Philadelphia to investigate a murder. See what I care.

Jason Mantzoukas

If they’re going to film the second movie in Greece and cast a bunch of comedy-adjacent maniacs, why not cast the Greek comedic maniac who pops up in every television show and promptly makes them all better? Some of the entries on this list are more about having fun, and I know I said in the intro that I was not making actual casting suggestions, but I have become extremely serious about this one just in the time since I started typing this paragraph. Put Jason Mantzoukas in Knives Out 2.

Jeremy Irons

Case closed.

Gonzo from The Muppets

I will accept this, or Gonzo and Rizzo narrating a Knives Out movie like they do in A Muppet Christmas Carol, or an all-Muppet version of Knives Out with Daniel Craig as the only human. I am serious about this one, too.

Lindsay Lohan

The time has come for the LiLo comeback. I am ready. Let her murder someone and almost get away with it. Film it in Ibiza. Have her push someone out of a hot air balloon. This is the whole fun of having the juice to make your decisions of things. You can go as big and weird as you want. I need to see it.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — June 25 is my birthday now

The ninth Fast & Furious movie, accurately titled F9, hits theaters on Friday, June 25. This is thrilling to me. I have been waiting to see it since I saw the first trailer something like 15 months ago. Do you understand? Do you really understand? This trailer dropped during a literal outdoor beach party hosted by the cast on Super Bowl weekend and it introduced John Cena as the evil secret brother Vin Diesel’s character is just finding out about now at like age 50 and then, at the end, featured Han, a character whose death has been depicted multiple times and whose body they went to Tokyo to allegedly collect, sauntering back in the franchise while munching on salty snacks. I think most people reading this column have a general sense of who I am and what I’m about. Can you imagine — really, truly imagine — the degree to which this has been killing me? At the time, I wasn’t even thrilled about the concept of waiting like three months for it to hit theaters. I am not built for things like “waiting” and “being patient.” The past year or so has been tough for a lot of reasons, most of them much more serious than this, but… this is on the list. For me. I know. Believe me, I know.

And it kind of has a greater significance than all that now, too, because it is shaping up to be the first big movie we all get to see in a theater after a year of staying inside too much. There’s a celebratory aspect to it, a victorious feeling, that is making it feel like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow made of vomit. (Do not picture this.) There are plenty of more significant signs that we’re finally coming through on the right side of things but this one is purely a celebration. I’m going to feel great charging into the theater that weekend. I’m going to shout and whoop and get rowdy around strangers when Ludacris and Tyrese launch themselves into the outer edges of the planet’s atmosphere. It’s going to be great, just to be doing it. Although, as I type this, I realize a lot of you are still picturing that vomit rainbow I said not to picture. In hindsight, this is on me. I ruined the moment. My apologies.

But here’s where I make it up to you. Or at least make it up to myself for making you think about a rainbow made of vomit. (STOP.) Because just this week, just yesterday, news broke that F9 won’t be the only significant piece of entertainment I adore that will be dropping on June 25. Not even the only one about a loose cannon who plays by his own rules but, dammit, gets results. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. I got a feeling…

BOSCH.

BOSCH COMES BACK FOR ITS FINAL SEASON ON JUNE 25, TOO.

HERE, LOOK:

Slated to bow on Friday, June 25, the series is based on Michael Connelly’s best-selling novel, The Burning Room, (2014) and the real arson case that inspired it. When a ten-year-old girl dies in an arson fire, Bosch risks everything to bring her killer to justice despite opposition from powerful forces. The highly charged, politically sensitive case forces Bosch to face a grueling dilemma of how far he is willing to go to achieve justice.

How far he’s willing to go to achieve justice? Oh, man. Oh, man. He’s gonna be willing to go so far. It’s gonna make all the authority figures so mad. Like, at least this mad.

Maybe even madder than that. Probably madder, now that I think about it. I don’t know exactly how mad but let’s pencil it in somewhere around This Mad.

Effective immediately, June 25 is my birthday. I wasn’t born that day if we want to be technical about everything, but still. I don’t see how I can take this news any other way. But if Han can come back from the dead and Jason Statham’s character can become a good guy after being the one who supposedly murdered him and Bosch can be a grown man who eats pancakes like this…

… then I can change my birthday. Fair is fair.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — There is nothing more pure than Henry Winkler posting fish pictures on Twitter and none of you can ruin this for me

https://twitter.com/hwinkler4real/status/1391528374930083840

Henry Winkler is a wonderful man. He’s had a long career in Hollywood and everyone who has met him or worked with him only has wonderful things to say about him. He started his career playing the coolest dude alive on Happy Days and now plays a slew of nervous dorks who are diametrically opposed to everything the Fonz stood for. It’s a fascinating turn of events, really, kind of the opposite of the “dork becomes cool” plot you see in about 85 percent of teen movies. But this is not the point.

The point is that Henry Winkler likes to post fish pictures on Twitter. Pictures of fish he caught on vacation. It is the most pure thing I’ve ever seen. Twitter is a piranha tank. People get chewed up on there constantly. Just ravaged. There is usually no room for earnest sentiment because everything is cloaked in three layers of performative rage and irony. And then Henry Winkler just pops in there with the most cheery Facebook-ass pictures you’ve ever seen, holding a big fish, smiling as wide as the ocean. It is, again, so pure.

He hasn’t been able to post a fish picture on Twitter for over a year for obvious reasons. He’s been stuck inside like all of us. But then I saw the tweet up there a few days ago. And I knew something was happening. And I waited for it. I checked repeatedly. And then, finally, at long last, it happened.

Remember the thing I said in the previous section about how seeing F9 in the theater would feel like a win on a much larger level than it would in normal circumstances? Well, this is that, too, just on a smaller level. It’s progress. It’s a good thing. Look how happy Henry Winkler is. Look at his face.

Do not, however, look into any of this any further. Please. Because if you do, you will discover that this pure and nice image of this pure and nice television icon was temporarily hijacked by a 24-hour news network — you know the one — that found like three harsh tweets in the replies and manufactured a whole segment out of them about whether Cancel Culture had come for The Fonz. You do not have to engage with this. You should not engage with this. Just take the nice story about the sweet man sharing a nice experience. Things have been hard enough. You do not have to make them harder.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Oh hell yes, it is Lupin time

Did you watch Lupin back when I first told you to watch Lupin? I hope so, a little bit because LISTEN TO ME but mostly because Lupin is a blast. It is a French show about a fancy jewel thief stealing jewels. He wears disguises and has reasons he steals things and there is a guy on the show who, at one point, wore an outfit that was like 75 percent denim, which I guess you already figured out back when I said it was a French show. It was seriously so fun and so good and if any of you try to say “Ehhhhh I couldn’t follow it because everyone speaks French and I don’t like reading subtitles” I will scream at you until someone calls the police. For the love of God. I just wrote like 1000 words about the Fast & Furious movies and someone posting fish pictures online. If I can handle a foreign show with subtitles, anyone can. Get some culture for once in your life, you bozo.

Anyway, this is the trailer for the back half of the first season, which premieres June 11 on Netflix. It has galas and tuxedos and car chases and one of those scenes from the Bourne movies where he calls the person investigating him on the phone and then says something that reveals he’s watching them. In short, it has everything you need in a good summer show. Watch Lupin. Lupin is the best.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — Well well well…

I should start with a confession: I am just now getting caught up on Mare of Easttown. I hear you out there, clicking your tongues at me dismissively, saying things like, “Jesus Christ, Brian, your job is to watch television and here’s a big fancy HBO series set near where you live in which Kate Winslet — KATE WINSLET — adopts a borderline incredible Philly/Delco accept, speaking her o’s through her nose to make them eau’s and mashing consonants together like they’re Iggles lineman. How are you not caught up on this series?” Well, first of all, obviously, Go Birds. But also, I just didn’t have a murder show in me last month. Sometimes that happens. But I’m back now. I’m involved. She pronounced the word overdoses like “eauverdeausiz” in the opening match moments and I was hooked. I’m not a complicated man.

But really, honestly, if anyone should be angry about all of this, it’s me. At you. Because, if you’ve been watching the show, that means you saw the first episode, and specifically the first 10 minutes of the first episode, and specifically the thing I have screencapped above where a victim lives on a street whose name is also my last name, and you didn’t say anything to me about it. What are we doing here? How could you drop the ball like this? I mean, come on. There it is, right there on the screen. And yet, nothing. Just a weak effort on your part, all around.

I expect better going forward. I’m not mad. I’m sorry for implying that I was. I’m just… disappointed.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Brian (not me):

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a fictional company will be referenced or shown in two or more completely unrelated movies or TV shows? The main two I can think of are Oceanic Airways, which I mostly remember from the criminally underrated Kurt Russell movie Executive Decision, but I gather it was also the airline that went down in Lost although I myself never really watched that show. The other one, which is a little more subtle, is Cobol Engineering. That’s the firm that’s trying to kill Leo in Inception after he botches that first job, but it’s also the name of the outfit, or whatever, that Jason Statham ostensibly works for in The Mechanic, which is a sneaky decent flick if you don’t take it too seriously.

I’m guessing there are others but stuff like this just kinda sticks in my brain and I thought if anyone you might think similarly from time to time.

This is a terrific email for a handful of reasons. It’s got a fun premise, it creates ties between otherwise unrelated films, and it correctly assumes that my brain is mangled enough to also be riddled with examples of these. Unfortunately, it also references a Jason Statham movie — The Mechanic, a blast of a film, although not as fun as the sequel, Mechanic: Resurrection, which co-stars Jessica Alba and, for some reason, Tommy Lee Jones in very tiny sunglasses — and was sent in the same week that I rewatched Collateral, so I’m going to talk about that. Again. I’m going to talk about this part of that again.

This is Jason Statham’s uncredited cameo in the opening moments of Collateral, a very good movie. And that would be enough for me, just an unexplained Statham cameo in a very good Michael Mann movie. But then there’s also this, from the IMDb trivia page.

Although Max refers to himself as “collateral” in the scene where he briefly stands up to Vincent after the hitman kills the jazz club owner, that’s not where the movie got its title. The original script had Vincent’s professional name as “Vincent Collateral”, and there is a deleted scene that confirms this. The title was considered for a change after the unsuccessful release of the Arnold Schwarzenegger action film Collateral Damage (2002), but everyone agreed that they shouldn’t avoid a title everyone liked, just because it echoed a movie that no one cared about.

Ah, whoops. It appears that I have once again pasted the paragraph about Tom Cruise’s character in Collateral, Vincent the mysterious assassin, being named “Vincent Collateral.” I wonder how that happened. Well, nothing that can be done about it now. Let’s just move on and post the correct one.

Statham’s cameo is often regarded as being his character Frank Martin from The Transporter (2002) and its sequels. He delivers a bag to Vincent at the airport and then disappears, no questions asked.

I have known this piece of information for a period of time exceeding 15 years now and it has infuriated me every time I think about it because it means no one has gone back and made a prequel about these two at an orientation for the new jobs at whatever organization this is. Come on. Do it already. They aged a ton of people down in The Irishman. We can age Cruise and Statham down for this one. Put them in The Irishman machine. Give them whole new faces. For me.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Pennsylvania! Again!

Secured in a sealed wooded crate, the 192-year-old secret recipe for Yuengling beer was placed in an armored vehicle Friday afternoon to begin a three-day journey to Texas.

I have seen too many movies. This is something I can say without qualification, without any real reason, just because it is objectively true. But it is something I say here because I read that sentence and shouted “SECRET BEER RECIPE HEIST” out loud in my empty living room. I don’t think I’m out of line, though. Tell me you didn’t read that and picture, like, Gerard Butler holding up the armored truck on some rural stretch of highway. Do not lie to me.

The recipe will be delivered next week to Molson Coors’ Fort Worth brewing facilities, where it will start being manufactured later this year.

In addition to the recipe book, proprietary yeast of D.G. Yuengling & Son. Inc. made the trip, which officially marked the start of the company’s westward expansion.

I am straight-up picturing this entire movie right now. Butler’s character was wronged by the family that owns the brewery — maybe it was his grandfather’s recipe and they stole it — so he’s out to get revenge. There’s like four other people in his crew. One would have been Gina Carson before, you know, everything. One is definitely a rapper, maybe Common or T.I. And let’s say Chalamet is the last one, just because I’m ready for action-star Chalamet. Cover him with tattoos and give him an AK-47.

In addition to Jennifer and Wendy Yuengling, their sisters — Debbie Yuengling, employee engagement and culture manager, and Sheryl Yuengling, order services and IT administration — were on hand to bring the recipe from inside the Mahantongo Street headquarters to the armored vehicle.

Once security guard and driver Travis Laukhuf sealed the rear doors and, with an escort by Pottsville police, he drove down Mahantongo Street to begin the approximately 1,475-mile trip to Texas.

BEER HEIST

COMING SUMMER 2022

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED…

[shotgun pump, sound of fizzy can opening]

…FROSTY.