Much like the original Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy 7 Remake is a must-play, and if you’ve been on the fence about starting it — or simply looking for the right time — it’s just around the corner. Square Enix has revealed the final trailer for the game’s upcoming DLC, Intergrade, which comes to PlayStation 5 exclusively on June 10. Based on the trailers, it looks to be a sizable upgrade and addition to Remake, with enhanced visuals and an entirely new chapter following everyone’s favorite ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi.
In this new chapter, titled Intermission, we see Yuffie and her fellow ninja companion Sonon navigate through Midgar prior to that tragic moment in Final Fantasy 7 Remake. During their brief stint in the gritty city, the pair take on villains such as Shinra’s Head of Development, Scarlet, and Weiss and Nero, two brothers we last saw in working for the secret Shinra organization Deepground in Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII. Based on the new trailer, it appears like these battles are very personal, as Sonon blames Scarlet for the attack on his hometown the killed a woman who is presumably his love interest — and looks quite similar to Yuffie,
On a lighter note, it looks like we’ll also be seeing some new summons this time around, with the classic lightning summon Ramuh making a memorable appearance. Last, but certainly not least, the Fort Condor mini-game is back, reassuring fans that Square is truly keeping every bizarre gem from Final Fantasy VII in tact. While the tower-defense game looks a bit different from the original and no longer takes place in Fort Condor, it shares a lot of similarities and looks like something fans will be sinking a lot of time into.
Final Fantasy 7 Remake Intergrade will be available as a timed-exclusive on the PlayStation 5 starting June 10.
Shamir has gotten into the habit of releasing new songs on Bandcamp on Fridays, typically only leaving the tunes up for 24 hours. This new tradition has yielded some great covers, like his grungy rendition of Billie Eilish’s “Ocean Eyes.” Today, he decided to cover another young pop star by taking a crack at Olivia Rodrigo’s recent single “Deja Vu.” Shamir’s version of the song is far removed from the slick pop production of the original, as he instead decided to style it like a lo-fi bedroom indie rock tune led by a crunchy electric guitar.
Rodrigo previously said of the song, “I sort of had this single picked out in September [2020]. […] It sort of took the pressure off for me of following up ‘Drivers License’ since we planned this so far in advance. But it’s definitely not like ‘Drivers License’ at all, which I’m really happy about. I didn’t want to pigeonhole myself into this category of ‘sad ballad girl’ thing. It’s definitely a little different and sort of weird. I really hope that people like it, and even if they don’t, that’s cool, too, though, because I loved making it.”
Kevin Durant got called for a foul in the third quarter of Brooklyn’s 113-109 loss to the Dallas Mavericks’ on Thursday evening. It was an extremely unremarkable moment in the context of the game — Luka Doncic shot free throws, he missed both of them, the game went on — but thanks to it, we got a moment that deserves some recognition.
Durant went up to the referee who called the foul, veteran official Ed Malloy, and asked for an explanation for why he did that despite the fact that the way the play panned out meant this was the only way Durant could try to guard Doncic.
It seems like we see a clip of players and referees going at one another multiple times a week, and every now and then, we get stories about how players are mad with how games are being called, while refs are mad at how players react to things, blah blah blah, you know how this cycle goes by now. It is exceedingly rare that we get any, you know, transparency from either side of things that doesn’t feel like it’s some form of damage control.
This, however, is fantastic. It is an honest, straightforward interaction with a player who didn’t like something and the referee who made the call that went against him. Both guys seemed to get where the other was coming from and things stayed cordial the entire time. It’s great! A major reason people have gripes with officiating is that referees aren’t always clear in exactly why they did something, and this was proof that if it’s done right — and, to be clear, that will not always be the case — these sorts of conversations will always be positive additions to watching basketball. More of it, please.
Last May, the whole world reacted to the murder of George Floyd caught on video by a quick-thinking teenage bystander. We watched the minutes tick by as Derek Chauvin pressed his knee into Floyd’s neck. We watched Floyd tell the officers he couldn’t breathe and then call out for his mother. We watched him stop talking, stop moving, stop breathing while Derek Chauvin kept on kneeling with his hand in his pocket.
While most of the attention has been on Chauvin’s actions in that horrifying video, there were three other police officers involved at the scene.
Three other officers who participated in either helping hold Floyd down or watching as it happened. Three officers who witnessed their colleague murder a man in plain sight, with bystanders begging them to intervene, and doing nothing to stop it. Three officers who didn’t even try to resuscitate the man who had stopped breathing right in front of them.
The accountability of those officers has been in question since Derek Chauvin was found guilty of second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and manslaughter in the George Floyd case. Now, a federal grand jury has indicted all four officers, including Chauvin, for willfully violating George Floyd’s constitutional rights.
Derek Chauvin, Thomas Lane, J. Alexander Kueng and Tou Thao have been charged with depriving Floyd liberty without the due process of law, which, according to the indictment, “includes an arrestee’s right to be free from a police officer’s deliberate indifference to his serious medical needs.”
The indictment lays out how the officers violated that right:
“Specifically, the defendants saw George Floyd lying on the ground in clear need of medical care, and willfully failed to aid Floyd, thereby acting with deliberate indifference to a substantial risk of harm to Floyd. This offense resulted in bodily injury to, and the death of, George Floyd.”
In addition, Derek Chauvin has been charged with the use of unreasonable force, and two of the officers, Tou Thao and J. Alexander Kueng, have been charged with willful failure to intervene in stopping Derek Chauvin’s use of unreasonable force.
All three counts fall under “Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law,” which, according to the Justice Department “is punishable by a range of imprisonment up to a life term, or the death penalty, depending upon the circumstances of the crime, and the resulting injury, if any.”
U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland recently announced an investigation into the Minneapolis Police Department to determine whether there is a pattern or practice of constitutional rights violations in the way policing is conducted in the city.
The Minneapolis police said in a statement that MPD police chief Medaria Arradondo “welcomes this investigation,” will fully cooperate with federal prosecutors, and “understands that the intent of this inquiry is to reveal any deficiencies or unwanted conduct within the department and provide adequate resources and direction to correct them.”
Garland vowed during his confirmation hearing that civil rights would be a primary focus of the Department of Justice and appears to be making good on that promise. There are also legislative changes in the works with the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act, a bill passed through the House of Representatives but not yet taken up by the Senate, which would limit the unnecessary use of force and make it easier to prosecute police officers accused of misconduct.
While there is much to debate about the future of policing in the U.S., there is little question that something needs to change in our criminal justice system. Derek Chauvin’s conviction of George Floyd’s murder was one big step toward greater accountability for police brutality. We’ll see what happens from here, but the indictments of these officers offer additional hope that police will not be able to violate people’s rights and do irreparable harm with impunity.
It’s actually a shock to the system to re-watch Jan de Bont’s 1994 action thriller Speed in 2021. No, seriously. And I’m not talking about passively having it on in the background as it plays on cable, or whatever. I mean really watching it. (A new 4K was released this week, so if you want to do this, you have a good excuse.) At least with me, it literally caused multiple adrenaline rushes. And it’s not just because it’s an action movie or, more precisely, a really good action movie. I honestly think my brain has been become so in tune with the current iteration of special effects, derived from CGI, that watching a movie that is all practical effects and stunts – and with Speed, it’s almost nonstop effects and stunts – I think my brain thought I was watching something “real.” It’s quite a thing.
Look, I have nothing against CGI. I like CGI, I guess. This is not an anti-CGI manifesto because CGI is a cost efficient way to make action movies and, whatever your opinion on it may be, it’s never going away. Even movies today that promise “practical effects” – J.J. Abrams made a big deal about this with The Force Awakens – it’s still going to be a movie with a lot of CGI. It’s just the way it is and it’s just the way it will be.
But, having said that, that doesn’t negate what a trip it is watching Speed today. It’s like deciding, one day, that you will never drink a Coke again. And from this point on, it’s Diet Coke* from here on out. Then, let’s say, many years later you’re at a restaurant and you order a Diet Coke and, on accident, the waiter brings you an actual Coke. Then, you take that first sip and, before realizing what’s going on, you proclaim to the world that this is the BEST Diet Coke you’ve ever had in your entire life! Before, slowly realizing, ah, of course, I am drinking sugar and of course it tastes amazing. This is what it’s like to watch Speed 26 years removed from its release. Speed is having sugar in a soft drink when you haven’t had sugar in a soft drink for 26 years. Even back then it was marketed as a nonstop adrenaline rush, but what should have been in those TV spots back then was, “then wait 26 years and watch it again because it will mess you UP!”
(*As a quick aside, did you know Diet Coke is actually the much-maligned New Coke formula? And that’s why it tastes nothing like actual Coca-Cola? Diet Coke was released before New Coke and was the first Coke brand to use the new formula. But it was such a big hit, once New Coke reverted back to Coke Classic, Diet Coke just kept its New Coke formula. Anyway, I guess my point is Speed 2: Cruise Control is New Coke.)
Here’s where, usually, I’d run through some scenes and tell you how good they look in this new 4K transfer. But you know all these scenes already. It makes no sense for me to tell you how good the elevator scene looks. Or how good the bus jump looks. Or how good the bus explosion at the airport looks. Or how good the subway crash scene looks. You already know these scenes are great! My point here is this movie physically did something to my body. It’s really remarkable. I know I promised to not lament on the nature of CGI, but it’s true our brains can just tell it’s not real. And that’s fine. Our brains used to be able to tell practical effects weren’t real. But the bar has been shifted. It’s a disconnect we don’t even truly know that’s happening until we watch something like Speed again. My brain is now so used to CGI, Speed made it go, “Oh, crap, that’s real, RUN!”
It’s pretty safe to say we’ll never see anything like Speed again – at least in regards to how a movie like this can physically affect our brains after years of CGI influence. And I know you, most likely, know this movie by heart. But really sit down and watch it and it winds up being a strange experience. Nothing looks cartoonish. There’s nothing there to stop our brains from interpreting it as real. Honestly, it’s pretty overwhelming.
Speed was released by Fox, so this movie is now owned by Disney. And Disney hasn’t exactly been at the forefront of releasing catalog 4K discs, so this is a welcome surprise that it even happened in the first place. I do wish Disney would consider putting this back into theaters. It would be an honest to goodness adrenaline-fueled trip to watch this again on the largest screen possible. But, the chances of that are pretty low. So, as an alternative, just sit in front of the largest TV possible and watch Speed again. It’s incredible. Speed rules.
After initially scrapping his plans for a season of American Crime Story focused on Bill Clinton’s impeachment, Ryan Murphy has confirmed that American Crime Story: Impeachment is not only back on track, but being closely monitored by executive producer Monica Lewinsky, who probably knows a thing or two about the scandalous moment in presidential history.
During the premiere party for the final season of Pose, Murphy made it clear that Lewinsky has been an active participant in the show’s production. “She’s involved with every script, gives a lot of insights and thoughts,” Murphy told Variety. “The great thing about the story that we’re telling is it’s Monica’s story, which I think needs to be told. Just like [in The People v. O.J. Simpson] we showed Marcia Clark in a different way, that’s what we’re doing with Monica.”
After originally announcing the series back in 2018, Murphy quickly backed away from the project after realizing it would be “gross” to do the show without Lewinsky’s input, which he personally told her at a party. Via The Hollywood Reporter:
“I told her, ‘Nobody should tell your story but you, and it’s kind of gross if they do,’” Murphy recalls saying. “If you want to produce it with me, I would love that; but you should be the producer and you should make all the goddamn money.’”
Clearly, Murphy made good on his promise because the show is on its way to FX and has locked down its cast. Sarah Paulson, Beanie Feldstein and Annaleigh Ashford, will play Linda Tripp, Lewinsky, and Paula Jones, respectively.
About two weeks ago, a surprise trailer dropped for Here Today, a rommy-comedy starring Tiffany Haddish and Billy Crystal, leaving many of us both intrigued and perplexed. A movie co-starring Tiffany Haddish and Billy Crystal seems like it could go one of two ways: inspired or disastrous. Crystal even directs the film, out in theaters May 7th, his first feature in 20 years — since 61*, in 2001.
Weird as it is on paper, Here Today, it turns out, is neither a memorable embarrassment nor a surprise masterpiece. It’s more like a solid proof-of-concept for how great a non-Woody Allen Woody Allen movie could be, should that non-Woody Allen not be Billy Crystal next time.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bash Billy Crystal. I have nothing against the man and he does so many things right here. Though he does give the impression of someone who can’t be critical enough when he needs to be. Here Today is, ironically, named after a song Paul McCartney wrote about John Lennon. Knowing that, it’s easy to think of Billy Crystal as the McCartney to Woody Allen’s Lennon — the more ingratiating, less problematic version; a brilliant craftsman who generally seems like a happier person, though that same ingratiating quality can turn grating to some. Here Today is a sweet premise and a compelling story that maybe needed a director who would’ve toned down rather than played up its schmaltzier elements.
Written by veteran comedy writer Alan Zwiebel (It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, SNL) Billy Crystal stars as Charlie Berns, a legendary-ish comedy writer who serves as the elder statesman on a sketch show, mentoring comedy writers half his age more than he actually writes. Presumably, he’s sort of a stand-in for Zweibel himself. Charlie Berns also has one big problem: he’s developed a rare form of dementia and hasn’t told anyone about it yet.
One day after work, Charlie has a lunch date with Emma Payge (played by Haddish) a fan who has won him in a charity auction. Or at least, her ex-boyfriend did, and now she’s living it up at a free lunch with some old white guy she’s never heard of. It’s the perfect New York comedy writer meet-cute, a setup that’s a little constructed, a little contrived, but creative and clever enough that you don’t mind. It works the same way good jokes work and feels like a veteran joke writer doing what he knows.
Then Emma discovers she’s allergic to shellfish and Here Today goes full Nutty Professor, with Haddish shouting Borscht Belt one-liners through giant lip prosthetics. All of a sudden it feels like there should’ve been an adult on the set.
This becomes a pattern in Here Today, in which an intriguing premise offers a tantalizing hook and leads to some interesting scenes, though the execution of many make you wish they were just a little less hammy, a little less hacky. Charlie Berns and Emma Payge quickly develop a sweet, unorthodox friendship, even if she feels like a gender-swapped version of Sinbad in House Guest at times, the manic pixie dream girl meets the boisterous black person who teaches the whiteys to loosen up. Luckily House Guest was fun and Haddish is likable enough that she can actually pull this off.
The non-lecherous, May-December New York thing Billy Crystal and Tiffany Haddish have going here is surprisingly compelling, a glimpse at what a sanitized Woody Allen movie might look like. Interestingly, one of Here Today‘s recurring motifs is Charlie Berns rejecting younger writers’ too “risqué” jokes, including one about “a Rottweiler’s balls” (which was actually funny). “Sure, they’ll laugh, but will it be the right kind of laugh?” Berns asks, in a scene in which Berns comes off pedantic in a way that doesn’t seem intentional.
Here Today also fails at the one thing Woody Allen consistently tended to get right: the performances of the female principals. While Haddish does wonders with what could’ve been a lame role, there’s also Charlie Berns’ dead wife, Carrie, played by Louisa Krause, who appears to us in Charlie’s first-person flashbacks. Acting directly to a camera admittedly seems much harder than acting with another person, but Carrie treats Charlie (and us) more like small children than an adult humans, telegraphing every emotion and overly ingratiating in a slightly unctuous way. It’s something Crystal himself can also tend towards, raising the question of whether this was a matter of direction. In any case, it’s an important character and it just plain doesn’t work.
Likewise, Charlie Berns’ daughter, Francine (Laura Benanti) has been written as a little uptight, presumably as a foil for Haddish’s “outrageous” Emma, but she’s so easily scandalized that she comes off both obnoxious and not believable.
It’s a symptom of Here Today‘s larger problem: Crystal’s inability to decide how much is too much. Even the ending suffers, the film sort of lingering upon the stage a little too long, drawing out a conclusion that could’ve been sweet but instead comes off saccharine. And yet, there was something here, if imperfectly delivered. It deserves credit for at least making us wonder what if.
‘Here Today’ hits theaters nationwide May 7th, 2021. Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.
Plant-based burgers, blind taste testing ketchup, knocking back shots of olive oil… there comes a time when a food writer must ask his editor: “Do I ever get to eat anything fun?”
“But Dane,” he replies. “you just reviewed fast-food double cheeseburgers — what more do you want?”
Milkshakes. Creamy, sweet, decadent milkshakes. Milkshakes are dope. So drinking a double-digit number of them in an absurdly compact window of time could never be a bad thing right?
Comedy Central
Turns out that you actually can have way too many milkshakes. I’m not lactose intolerant, but I am human. Eventually, the body lets it be known that you’re consuming way too many milkshakes at way too fast a rate. (Sorry… not the best visual to lead into a food article with.)
Luckily, you don’t have to try every fast food milkshake.* I did it for you! Over the past few weeks, I re-tested the best flavor from each fast food outlet** and ranked them. I also gave each shake a rating out of five for thickness (insert obligatory THICC joke here). And since I’ll only be ranking one milkshake from each fast food establishment, I’m going to take things even further by shouting out a second-choice pick (generally reserved for seasonal shakes). Let’s jump in!
*Apologies once again to Whataburger and Culver’s. I just got my second vaccine shot. In a few weeks, I won’t have any more excuses and promise that they’ll both start showing up in these reviews!
**Honorable mention to Burgerville and so many other regional spots. In fact, you could make a case that if you want a milkshake, regional fast food is a better option than national chains.
14. Burger King — Chocolate Mini Shake
Burger King
Calories: 365
Thickness: 2/5
The Milkshake
Oh Burger King, back at the bottom it seems. I don’t think there is a single fast-food restaurant that has more noticeable self-loathing in its own menu than Burger King. They have a section dedicated to “best sellers” on their online menu as if to convince all of us that they actually sell food that people like. You won’t find BK’s shakes on that menu, and it looks like the King knows that no one could stomach a whole shake from them, which is why they’re only sold in mini-sizes.
I’m sure when I ordered the shake it created a panic in the BK kitchen, like when someone orders the lobster from a diner menu. Because I doubt anyone is going to Burger King for milkshakes. Aside from not being very thick, the real offensive part of this shake is the whipped cream. Just what the hell is going on with this whipped cream? This stuff tastes like sugared air. The shake itself is sweet, but nothing remarkable, and the sludge-y not quite thick not quite watery consistency really doesn’t do it any favors.
This should’ve been a slam dunk for Burger King. The smaller form factor is great — a mini shake is only about nine ounces and it’s only 365 calories. But they just couldn’t nail the flavor for any of their three shake flavors (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry).
The Runner Up Pick
Just get a Coke.
The Bottom Line
How Burger King? It’s a f*cking milkshake, how did you screw this up?
I’m surprised McDonald’s landed so low in this ranking. While far away from my favorite fast food joint, McDonald’s consistently ranks in the middle of our rankings (save for French fries). But their milkshakes just aren’t it. It’s important to note that a McFlurry is not a milkshake, as it’s served with a spoon and milkshakes are for at least kind-of drinking.
Like the McFlurry, the milkshakes utilize McDonald’s signature vanilla ice cream as its base, but it’s cut and blended with either McCafe vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate syrup, which slightly warms the ice cream and changes the consistency in order to make it drinkable. Which would be cool and make sense if it didn’t make it gross at the same time. It’s just way too sweet. The chocolate is easily the best flavor, it’s subtle and not overpowering, giving you a nice balance between chocolate and the vanilla base. The strawberry is the next choice, with the last place going to vanilla. It’s just too much vanilla.
The whipped cream is wholly unnecessary, it does nothing for this milkshake.
The Runner Up Pick
The Shamrock shake, despite its insane popularity, isn’t that good. But it is at least interesting. With a McDonald’s shake, that’s all you can really hope for.
The Bottom Line
Order a McFlurry if you want something sweet from McDonald’s, this isn’t worth your time unless it’s a Shamrock. And even then…
The Frosty, it’s not really a milkshake (Wendy’s defines it as simply “a dessert”) in that it’s essentially just dense as hell soft serve ice cream in a cup. But it’s still somehow smooth enough to drink through a straw, so it’s not really ice cream either… so it is kind of a milkshake?
Whatever. It comes with a straw, we’re including it.
People have a strange nostalgic allegiance to the Frosty but as far as milkshakes go, it’s simply not nearly as good as the other milkshakes on this list. This is a mid-tier milkshake at best, and I’d argue it’s way better as a fry dip than it is enjoyed through a straw.
As far as the taste goes, it’s just not very notable. It has a heavily watered-down flavor. You taste some chocolate but you mostly just taste ice. People love this shake because it’s thick, which I’d guess they’re mistaking for richness, but at the end of the day… who cares if it’s thick? Seriously, a thick milkshake might be essential to a good experience but when the flavor is this weak, it doesn’t matter how thick it is.
I want to walk away from a milkshake thinking “that was a good milkshake” not “that milkshake was thick!” People who care about thickness over flavor are shallow milkshake drinkers. Don’t be a shallow milkshake drinker, the milkshake is a generous and beautiful snack.
Anyway, if you don’t believe me about the weakness of the flavor, check out Wendy’s ingredients list for the Frosty: Milk, sugar, corn syrup, cream, whey, nonfat dry milk, cocoa, etc. In a chocolate-flavored drink, we’re getting chocolate as the seventh ingredient.
That’s an insult to chocolate milkshakes. You heard it here; The Frosty is an INSULT TO MILKSHAKES.
The Runner Up Pick
You don’t really have options here, chocolate is better than vanilla, but if you love vanilla, go for it.
The Bottom Line
It’s okay, doesn’t live up to its hype unless used as a fry dip.
11. Carl’s Jr — Hand-Scooped Ice Cream Vanilla Shake
Carl
Calories: 690
Thickness: 4/5
The Milkshake
Carl’s Jr’s vanilla milkshake is a solid pick for fans of vanilla milkshakes. It’s creamy with a prominent vanilla-forward flavor that is really a key feature of this milkshake, not just a base to work off of like with a lot of the other shakes on this list. McDonald’s uses vanilla ice cream, Wendy’s… isn’t really a milkshake, but Carl’s Jr uses actual scoops of ice cream, and the depth of flavor that real ice cream has over a generic vanilla soft serve base sets this one notably higher than those ranked below it.
The whipped cream, which is more of a whipped topping, almost hits its mark but it’s not quite as creamy as we’d like it to be, leaning more on the sugary-air side.
The Runner Up Pick
Strawberry and Oreo are both great. This is one of the few milkshake lines where we’d rank chocolate last.
The Bottom Line
A quality milkshake! We’re officially out of bad fast food milkshake territory with Carl’s Jr. Everything from here on is great and definitely worth the cash and extra calories.
When it comes to In-N-Out’s milkshakes, I have to admit my personal favorite is chocolate. But I’ve decided to go with my second favorite, Neopolitan, to prove a larger point about In-N-Out milkshakes. Each flavor is great, so if you like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry just go ahead and order them all by grabbing the Neapolitan via In-N-Out’s secret menu. It gives you everything, the only thing better than a Neapolitan shake is a Neapolitan Root Beer Float.
In-N-Out’s milkshake has a great consistency that starts off a little too thick but settles into a very creamy and drinkable state after the cup starts to warm slightly in your hands. Through some strange alchemy, it still manages to hold its thickness for the entire duration of your milkshake, whether you’re a fast or slow drinker. The flavor here has a strong ice cream-forward quality, which leaves the chocolate a little wanting (it’s not actually that chocolate-y, but I still like it).
The Runner Up Pick
Pick your personal favorite flavor, you can’t go wrong here. Vanilla-Strawberry mix is my editor’s pick.
The Bottom Line
Stop complaining about In-N-Out’s fries, just dip them in the shake — it’s a better experience than the Frosty could ever give you.
A coffee and chocolate-flavored milkshake? The fast-food world needs more milkshakes like this. A blended coffee drink and a milkshake almost scratch the same itch, but choosing between them can be hard. The Jamocha shake says “why choose?” and manages to give you that decadent bold coffee flavor with the consistency of a decently thick chocolate milkshake.
Arby’s also drizzles some chocolate syrup on the whipped cream, which is a strong move and helps the whipped cream seem like more than just an over-sweetened visual component. It actually looks worth stabbing with your straw and mixing into your milkshake. The coffee takes a back-seat to the chocolate here, it’s not quite a mocha blended coffee frap, but there is enough coffee there to add that complex bitter bite that lingers nicely on the palate.
The Runner Up Pick
Orange Cream Shake. It’s a nice flavor alternative to the other more standard milkshake flavors like chocolate or vanilla. It’s sweet and refreshing, perfect for summer sipping.
The Bottom Line
Coffee and chocolate in a milkshake, what more can you ask for?
You don’t expect a milkshake from Del Taco to be good but this is probably the best strawberry milkshake in the fast-food universe. I rarely prefer strawberry over chocolate and vanilla but Del Taco’s has a light and fresh flavor that pairs perfectly with its thick and creamy vanilla base and is further elevated by the inclusion of real strawberries, which occasionally come bursting through the straw — adding a bright hit of juicy flavor.
Our only complaint is that the straw isn’t quite big enough to always allow the strawberries to stream though, creating clogs that sometimes make enjoying this milkshake a bit of a chore.
The Runner Up Pick
Just get the strawberry, even if you don’t like strawberry milkshakes. I wasn’t kidding when I said I think it’s the best strawberry milkshake in the fast-food universe. Otherwise… I guess go for chocolate if you must.
The Bottom Line
Fresh and bursting with flavor. A true dessert treat and the perfect pick if a strawberry milkshake is your jam.
I’m a little torn on this milkshake. I like the Black and White, which mixes vanilla and chocolate. On the one hand, the flavor is great, both the chocolate and vanilla are creamy and sweet but it just seems like a milkshake from a place called Shake Shack should taste better… and thicker. This milkshake is way too watery in consistency. Luckily, that doesn’t translate to the flavor, which is rich (if not a little artificial and powdery).
If Shake Shack’s milkshakes had the consistency of the Frosty, it would be a winner, but unfortunately, it’s just an upper mid-tier milkshake that is only saved by its flavor. Shake Shack does have some delicious creamy high-quality custard to top their milkshakes though, we’ll give them that.
The Runner Up Pick
Shake Shack often has special promotional limited-time flavors for their milkshakes. My personal favorite is Black Sugar Vanilla, with its aromatic vanilla and complex notes of burnt butter and caramel. If it wasn’t a promotional item we’d probably rank this one higher.
The Bottom Line
Aromatic and rich, but way too watery and underwhelming for a place with “shake” in its name.
Are you seeing this thing? Sonic rarely ranks this high on any of our fast food lists but their Strawberry Cheesecake Master Shake is truly some next-level milkshake shit. It’s totally deserving of its ridiculous name. This milkshake is straight-up gourmet with a complex flavor that is creamy, then tangy, then sweet with hints of cherry and bright strawberry, and finishes with the slightly nutty earthy flavor of graham crackers.
This milkshake is pretty much a meal, so don’t plan to eat anything else if you order it. If you really want to go nuts, add a serving of bananas, which takes things to the next level.
The Runner Up Pick
If you love cheesecake but aren’t too crazy about strawberry, Sonic also makes a regular cheesecake and an Oreo cheesecake shake. If you can’t stomach the tangy richness of cheesecake, go for the Hot Fudge or Fresh Banana Classic shake. Better yet, go banana fudge!
The Bottom Line
It turns out Sonic is a place to go if you want a really good milkshake. Who would’ve thought Sonic was this good at anything? One of the fanciest milkshakes in the fast-food universe, if not quite in the convo of “best.”
Is this one ranked too high? Maybe, but I love a good Oreo shake and Jack in the Box is probably the reason why. This is the Oreo shake that introduced me to the flavor, and it features large chunks of crunchy Oreos spread throughout a thick and creamy vanilla base. If anything, this milkshake is a little bit too thick, sometimes causing your straw to bend with the pressure it takes to drink it.
You’re going to wish you had a spoon to eat this one. Or at least some fries.
We wish this wasn’t the case but the whipped cream and maraschino cherry here are purely decorative. They don’t do much to add to the experience. But you don’t need all that flair, Jack in the Box Oreo Milkshake. We think you’re delicious as you are.
The Runner Up Pick
Sometimes Jack in the Box has a Mint Oreo Cookie Shake. When that’s an option grab that, otherwise stick to the OG.
The Bottom Line
If you like thick chunks of Oreo cookies in your shake and don’t care about quality whipped cream, it’s hard to go wrong with Jack in the Box’s Oreo Cookie Shake.
Fresh and creamy, with cool notes of mint that pair nicely with the semi-bitter cocoa complexity of Oreo cookies, this milkshake is everything Jack in the Box’s Oreo shake wishes it could be. The whipped cream is much thicker, and it has bits of Oreos that mask its probably bland flavor, with a maraschino cherry that adds a nice bright contrast to the refreshing almost Andes Mint-like quality of this shake.
Admittedly, I’m probably the least familiar with Steak n Shake’s milkshakes, so maybe this deserves to be ranked higher. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to refresh my memory on this particular milkshake as there are only four locations in Southern California and the closest Steak n Shake to me is temporarily closed for the foreseeable future. The next closest is nearly two hours away and I like milkshakes (and my job), but not that much. So we’ll have to rely on the old memory for this one.
The Runner Up Pick
It was a toss-up between the Oreo Mint Shake and the Kit Kat shake so allow me to spend some extra time talking about the Kit Kat. Kit Kats are a perfect complement to ice cream, they add a nice hit of chocolate and a great mouthfeel thanks to the wafer cookie inside. It’s a great texture for a milkshake, and Steak n Shake takes it a step forward by crumbing Kit Kits into the whipped cream.
The Bottom Line
Steak n Shake know how to make a milkshake, it’s why they were comfortable enough to put it right in the name. But the Oreo Mint and Kit Kat are your best bet. Unless you don’t like Kit Kats, in which case you can get Butterfinger (weird) Peanut Butter Cup (acceptable), or even Nutella.
I love all of Dairy Queen’s milkshakes and admittedly I probably chose the Raspberry Chip for variety’s sake but come on — where else are you going to get a raspberry shake in the fast-food space? [Editor: BURGERVILLE!] You’ve got bitter semi-dark chocolate chips blended with tart and refreshing raspberries in a creamy vanilla ice cream base, offering a nice mouthfeel and a complex flavor that bounces between sweet, tart, and bitter.
The whipped cream is an absolute joke, skip it. This milkshake is remarkably thick and holds its consistency nicely, but it’s not too thick that you can’t get it through the straw. Be careful not to suck any chocolate chips down your throat without chewing, though.
The Runner Up Pick
If refreshing and bright isn’t your thing, grab the Choco Hazelnut Chip. It’s chocolate and hazelnut, you can’t go wrong!
The Bottom Line
Like Arby’s Jamocha combines the best of blended coffee with the best of milkshakes, Dairy Queen’s Raspberry Chip shake brings the refreshing quality of a smoothie to the milkshake space.
Five Guys is the refined grown-up version of dipping your fries in a Frosty. You get salty smoked goodness from the bacon which contrasts nicely with the sweet and creamy vanilla base. The experience is entirely better than dipping your fries in a milkshake, providing a crispy crunch that makes the mouth feel of the shake a delicious savory part of the experience.
One of the things I love about Five Guys is that the menu is completely customizable but doesn’t lack character like a build your own pizza place or the food from Chipotle, and the customizability extends to the milkshakes. Don’t just throw bacon in there, add salted caramel, or peanut butter, or coffee. Or do another mix entirely with strawberry and banana. Anything goes here.
Runner Up Pick
Salted Caramel is always a great and easy choice, but feel free to get weird here. Go for that “coffee, malted milk, strawberry banana” milkshake. You do you.
The Bottom Line
Salty and sweet with a smokey complex flavor that is unlike any other milkshake on this list. But bacon in a milkshake… it’s not exactly what comes to mind when we want a milkshake, so for that reason, it can’t get the top spot, as good as it is.
I hate to give Chick-fil-A the top spot because they’re so easy to dunk on and are pretty generally overrated, but credit where credit is due, this is the best milkshake in the fast-food universe. I might be biased because Oreo milkshakes are my personal favorite, and this is the best one, but… them’s the breaks. Anyway, this is essentially a drinkable version of cookies and cream ice cream with perfectly sized bites of chocolate Oreo-esque cookies (you can tell this isn’t official Oreo, it’s richer and slightly more bitter) that don’t get lodged in the straw and pose no threat to your life by lodging in your throat.
The consistency is dense, but not so dense that it’s hard to drink. The whipped cream is good, not great, but it has pretty ribbons so the presentation is on point.
Runner Up Pick:
The only thing better than Chick-fil-A’s Cookies and Cream milkshake is the seasonal Peach Milkshake which usually drops in the summer, but as it’s a seasonal option we can’t give it the top spot. It is damn good though.
The Bottom Line
The thickness is there with a rich and creamy flavor and perfect bits of semi-bitter chocolate cookie bits. Chick-fil-A has some of the best soft-serve ice cream in the entire fast-food universe so this shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m always actively rooting against Chick-fil-A but credit where credit is due.
Earlier this week, Bill and Melinda Gates announced their plans to divorce after 27 years of marriage. Since news broke, more stories about the state of the couple’s relationship have emerged and the latest one involves the Microsoft inventor’s troubling friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
Epstein, who died in his jail cell in August 2019, operated a sex trafficking ring that abused and exploited young girls with Epstein often “lending” these minors out to his wealthy, sometimes famous, friends. While Bill Gates has never been accused of any crime in relation to Epstein, sources close to the couple are now revealing that Gates formed a friendship with the disgraced financier, one his wife definitely didn’t approve of.
According to The Daily Beast, Melinda Gates was “furious” after she accompanied her husband to New York City where the pair had a meeting with Epstein in 2013. After the visit, Melinda reportedly relayed to friends how “uncomfortable” she was around Epstein and that she wanted “nothing to do with him” following the encounter. Still, Gates struck up a beneficial relationship with the financial advisor, one that may have contributed to a rift between the couple.
The former Microsoft CEO’s ties to Epstein stretch all the way back to 2011, just three years after Epstein pleaded guilty to soliciting an underage girl in Florida. According to a New York Times report, Gates met with Epstein on numerous occasions, well after Epstein’s criminal activity had been widely commented on in the press.
The Times revealed that Gates had met with Epstein multiple times between 2011-2013, attending a party at Epstein’s Manhattan townhouse, taking a ride on Epstein’s infamous private jet, and visiting his home in Florida. Once Epstein was hit with sex trafficking charges and his associates faced more public scrutiny, Gates addressed with friendship with the convicted sex offender by denying he’d ever gone to “New Mexico or Florida” and maintaining he only met with him to further his own philanthropic endeavors. In 2011, Gates reportedly sent an email to staff about Epstein, writing “His lifestyle is very different and kind of intriguing although it would not work for me.” His spokeswoman said he was “referring only to the unique décor of the Epstein residence.”
Friends of the couple tell the Daily Beast that Melinda Gates is still “haunted” by the encounter with Epstein and her husband’s relationship with him, especially since she’s dedicated most of her philanthropic work to helping displaced and disadvantaged girls and young women. Reps for Bill and Melinda Gates have yet to comment on the story.
Through 66 games, the New York Knicks are in the driver’s seat for the No. 4 seed in the Eastern Conference. Though there was some level of optimism in some corners of the basketball world prior to the 2020-21 season, predicting this kind of showing from the Knicks would have drawn glazed-over stares in the preseason and, even after 37 impressive victories, not everyone is on board with New York’s performance being “real” at this juncture. Still, there have been plenty of plaudits for Julius Randle, who was rightly selected to the 2021 All-Star Game and is drawing deserved attention through the prism of All-NBA debates.
Randle is, without question, the biggest part of New York’s success on the floor, and he often shares credit with head coach Tom Thibodeau for spearheading the Knicks’ turnaround. After all, the best player and the head coach have a lot to do with the success or failure of any NBA team, which is a tale as old as time. However, New York also has supporting heroes this season, and perhaps the most prominent has been last year’s No. 3 overall pick RJ Barrett.
Barrett, the former No. 1 recruit in America, arrived with sky-high expectations coming out of Duke, and he did fill up box scores in his rookie season. Though it would be tough to argue that Barrett was a net positive as a rookie, most first-year players don’t break through that threshold, and he averaged 14.3 points per game while flashing his NBA-ready body, rebounding potential, and overall skill set — the tricky thing, of course, was having this translate into contributing to winning basketball, particularly due to some pretty rough efficiency numbers (40.2 percent from the field, 32 percent from three, 61.4 percent on free throws). Then, the lengthy offseason arrived and, while the hype train followed some of his rookie cohorts, Barrett operated in relative obscurity, at least when adjusting for the New York of it all.
This season, Barrett has been a different and better player, and the numbers bear that out. He is second on the team in scoring, averaging 17.6 points per game, with 5.7 rebounds and vastly improved shooting efficiency — 44.7/39.6/74.3 splits. As with many Thibodeau-led teams, he is getting “all you can eat” from a minutes perspective, averaging 34.7 minutes per night and appearing in all 66 games, but Barrett’s mentality and confidence also allows him to thrive in that setting.
“This year he’s just a complete—I wouldn’t say 180 [degrees], but as far as his mentality, he doesn’t let things affect him,” Randle recently told SLAM of Barrett’s development. “He’s very steady, confident and knows who he is as a player, and he’s just been proving it.”
Barrett’s season-long numbers are quite solid, and he’s been even more productive after the All-Star break. In 29 games since the March hiatus, he is averaging 18.9 points, which rises to 19.6 points per game in the last 10 contests. Barrett’s three-point shooting, currently at 45.5 percent in the last 10, is unsustainably hot in the present, but the mere fact that he is taking more threes is wholly encouraging for his development. He has gotten better as the season gone along, something that is invaluable with the postseason around the corner.
Beyond the scoring that he was best known for as a prospect, Barrett’s rebounding and overall physicality fit like a glove with New York’s current ethos. Barrett isn’t an elite defender at this stage, but he is stout and willing to engage, which is half the battle for a player with his tools. Advanced “catch-all” metrics largely paint him as a solid piece on that end of the floor but, for a 20-year-old wing with plenty of room to grow, that is encouraging at the very least.
It has to be noted that the Knicks may be catching lightning in a bottle that isn’t wholly replicable, particularly with Randle’s out-of-this-world play and Thibodeau seemingly pressing all the right buttons with a roster that isn’t overwhelmingly talented. However, there is a clear belief in New York, and Barrett, even at a young age, seems to be in the middle of it all. And the best part is that, unlike so many youngsters who have gone to the Big Apple and were eaten alive by the expectations that inherently come with that, Barrett seems to embrace the fact that he is playing under the bright lights of Broadway.
“I feel like we were the only ones that kind of believed in ourselves. No one thought we were going to be here,” Barrett told SLAM. “No one thought we were going to be in this position except for us. Even making the playoffs, we’re very excited for that. It’s not just about making the playoffs. We want to go far. We want to try to win championships. That’s what we’re about.”
Through two seasons, there are indications that Barrett may not join the tier with Zion Williamson and Ja Morant as franchise-changing entities at the top of the Draft. Within the last six months, though, Barrett has fortified his standing as one of the best prospects from the 2019 class and, in the process, he is operating as a key piece of the best Knicks team in a long time.
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