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If you write about whisk(e)y for a living, you’re bound to try some drams that the average drinker will never taste. From rare bottlings to limited-edition offerings to long-matured unicorn expressions, we get to sip some gems. I won’t lie, it’s pretty rad.

Below, you’ll find the 30 best sips of Scotch whisky I’ve ever enjoyed across my entire career. Some are reasonably priced and others are out of this stratosphere expensive (I’d never have been able to taste the top two if it hadn’t been for work). But regardless of their wide-ranging price tags, these are all the whiskies that I’ve loved best, based on taste alone.

Note: This is my taste. Your favorites might vary from mine greatly; other whisky writers might scoff at these choices. That’s the name of the game — all palates are different and while there’s certainly a level of expertise involved in tasting Scotch whisky professionally, there’s still a lot of room for disagreement.

30) The Balvenie 14 Caribbean Cask

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $74.99

The Story:

A favorite of bartenders and drinkers alike, this 14-year-old Scotch whisky is first aged in traditional oak casks before being matured for extra time in Caribbean rum barrels. The result is highly mellow, smooth, extremely sippable whisky.

Tasting Notes:

Take a long whiff of this special offering and you’ll find hints of dried apricots, spicy cinnamon, and vanilla beans. On the palate, you’ll be treated to caramel apples, candied orange peels, caramelized sugar, and butterscotch. The finish is long, lingering, and ends with a final note of toasted vanilla beans.

Bottom Line:

This is a truly decadent, almost dessert-like whisky. It’s the perfect end to a heavy meal. Sip it slowly and let it aid in digestion.

29) Aberlour A’Bunadh

ABV: 59.6%

Average Price: $114.99

The Story:

This high proof offering from Aberlour is truly breathtaking. While many distilleries opt for finishing whiskies in sherry butts, this award-winning, cask-strength whisky was aged completely in Oloroso sherry casks. The result is a highly complex, sweet, truly memorable flavor experience.

Tasting Notes:

Give this whisky a proper nosing and you’ll find a nutty sweetness, dried cherries, spicy cinnamon, and a nice, sweet sherry backbone. Take a sip and you’ll find even more sherry, dried fruits, tropical flavors, and creamy butterscotch. The finish is memorable, with hints of peppery spice and buttery caramel.

Bottom Line:

If you enjoy sherried whiskies, you probably can’t find a better value than Aberlour A’bunadh. It’s a sherry bomb through and through.

28) Dalwhinnie 15

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $78

The Story:

There’s a reason this 15-year-old whisky is beloved. This award-winning dram is soft, rich, and extremely undervalued. For the price, it’s hard to find a better 15-year-old expression on earth.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll be greeted with aromas of sticky toffee, orange peels, and just a hint of spice. The palate is filled with candy apples, almonds, creamy vanilla, and buttery caramel. Let it open and savor the gentle, nutty sweetness.

Bottom Line:

This isn’t a crazy expensive bottle for the flavor experience it offers. It’s nutty, creamy, and indulgent — a truly memorable sip.

27) The Macallan Rare Cask

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $299

The Story:

The Macallan Rare Cask expression really is a “rare” offering. It’s made using first-fill sherry casks that were hand-selected by the master distiller, made up of the top 1% of the casks currently aging at the renowned distillery.

Tasting Notes:

As you nose this whisky, you’ll find notes of creamy sherry, dried fruits, and toasted vanilla beans. Take a sip and you’ll be immersed in more sweet sherry, clover honey, buttery caramel, and just a hint of spicy cinnamon. In the end, you’ll find a bit of warmth and a nice crescendo of cracked black pepper.

Bottom Line:

While this bottle isn’t tremendously expensive, it’s not the kind of bottle you’ll just walk into a store and grab for the weekend, either. It should be savored and sipped slowly.

26) Springbank 18

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $235

The Story:

At one point, Campbeltown (where Springbank is located) was known as the center of the whisky world. Today that honor likely goes to Islay. But while other distilleries closed, Springbank remained. The distillery is returning the area to prominence with bottles like Springbank 18, an expression aged in both ex-bourbon casks and sherry butts.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of candied orange peels, creamy sherry, and sweet vanilla beans. Take a sip and you’ll add layers of butterscotch, sugar cookies, dried cherries, and subtle cinnamon. The finish is long, warming, and ends with a slight hint of citrus mixed with sweet treacle.

Bottom Line:

Pay tribute to the area that was once a whisky haven by sipping slowly on this highly nuanced, 18-year-old Scotch whisky.

25) Lagavulin 16

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $79.99

The Story:

If you’re a fan of Islay whiskies, there’s a good chance you enjoy a dram of Lagavulin 16 from time to time. With that being said, this single malt definitely isn’t for everyone. That’s because this is a true blue smoke bomb — a heavily peated whisky, aged to perfection for 16 years.

Tasting Notes:

Take a whiff and you’ll find notes of dried cherries, toasted vanilla beans, charred oak, and the peat smoke drinkers expect from an Islay malt. The first sip is loaded with flavors of ocean brine, sweet sherry, buttery caramel, and sweet vanilla — all underpinned by a smoky backbone. At the finish, you’ll find a cacophony of dried apricots, toffee, and peaty smoke.

Bottom Line:

When it comes to quality, smoky whiskies, Lagavulin 16 is a true bargain. Buy a bottle for now and another for later — it’s nice to have on hand if you have a guest who likes peat.

24) Talisker 18

ABV: 45.8%

Average Price: $184.99

The Story:

Talisker is the oldest distillery on the isle of Skye — the largest, most northern island in Scotland’s Inner Hebrides. While you can’t go wrong with any of the distillery’s offerings, Talisker 18 was aged for 18 years in a combination of sherry and bourbon casks, adding another layer of nuance.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find aromas of dried fruits, toasted oak, and sweet vanilla. On the palate, you’ll be treated to charred oak, buttery caramel, sticky toffee pudding, and a nice hit of subtle smoke. The last sip is full of long, dry, warming heat and more of that smoke.

Bottom Line:

If you’re saving up for a whisky in the $100-$200 range and you’ve never tried Talisker yet, grab this bottle. It’s mellow and sweet enough to appeal to mainland single malt fans with a nice bit of smoke to please to Islay drinkers.

23) Glenmorangie Nectar D’or

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $71.99

The Story:

Glenmorangie Nectar D’or tastes exactly as the name would suggest. It’s sweet, smooth, and almost dessert-like in its flavor. It gets these unique notes from being aged in ex-bourbon casks as well as Sauternes wine casks. The bourbon and the sweet white wine casks give the whisky a very memorable flavor that’s well-loved by fans of the brand and critics alike.

Tasting Notes:

You’ll find aromas of maple candy, dried cherries, vanilla icing, and caramel up front. The sip is filled with flavors of sticky toffee pudding, sugar cookies, and just a hint of spicy cinnamon. The finish is long, lingering, and finishes with buttery peanut brittle.

Bottom Line:

There might be no better dessert whisky on earth than Glenmorangie Nectar D’or. It’s elegant, rich, and perfectly paired with a decadent cake.

22) GlenDronach Allardice

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $189.99

The Story:

Named to pay tribute to distillery founder James Allardice, this 18-year-old highland whisky was matured only in Oloroso sherry butts. Since it didn’t spend any time in the usual charred oak barrels, it has a refined, sweet sherry flavor that makes it stand out and linger in your memory.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll get dried cherries, caramelized sugar, and tropical fruits, The palate is filled with a nutty sweetness, clover honey, dessert wine, and creamy vanilla. It all ends in a warming, mellow finish that closes with notes of maple candy and vanilla.

Bottom Line:

Being aged in Oloroso sherry butts give this a distinct, fruity flavor that makes it well-suited to drinking neat.

21) Johnnie Walker Blue Label

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $199.99

The Story:

You won’t find many blended whiskies on this list, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad by any means. It’s just hard to make a list of 30 whiskies without leaving out a few. That said, there’s a reason Johnnie Walker Blue is one of the most awarded blends in the world. It has no age statement but is made up of a blend of Diageo’s rarest and most mature whiskies.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of licorice, charred oak, vanilla, and spicy cinnamon. On the palate, you’ll be treated to flavors of sticky toffee pudding, rich milk chocolate, subtle spice, and even subtler smoke. The conclusion is long, warming, and ends with hints of dried cherries and a nice kiss of smoke.

Bottom Line:

Johnnie Walker Blue is the type of bottle everyone should have in their liquor cabinets. Great for a special occasion, it’s mellow, soft, and perfect for slow sipping.

20) The Balvenie 21 Year Port Wood

ABV: 47.6%

Average Price: $249.99

The Story:

Like many special expressions, everything you need to know is in the name. This 21-year-old offering from The Balvenie is first aged in oak casks before being moved to port wine casks for further aging. The result is a deep, rich, vinous flavor experience.

Tasting Notes:

Spend a moment taking in the nose and you’ll be greeted with aromas of dried fruits, rich almonds, and sweet cream. The first sip is piled high with molasses, sour cherries, clover honey, spicy cinnamon, and buttery caramel. The dram ends in a soft, sweet finale of brown sugar and pecans.

Bottom Line:

You can’t go wrong with any bottle of The Balvenie, but it’s hard to top the flavor of this 21-year-old port wood offering. Especially for the price.

19) The Dalmore Cigar Malt

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $189.99

The Story:

This whisky was designed to be paired with a cigar. But that doesn’t mean non-smokers can’t enjoy this complex juice — matured in a combination of ex-bourbon and Matusalem sherry butts before being finished in cabernet sauvignon wine barriques.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find notes of ripe berries, sweet cinnamon, and sweet cream. The first sip yields hints of sticky toffee pudding, caramelized sugar, dried fruits, and subtle spice. The last sip finishes with a nice combination of dried orange peels and buttery caramel.

Bottom Line:

If you’re a cigar smoker, this is your malt — it’s sweet-not-smoky with a decadent mouthfeel.

18) Glenmorangie Signet

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $199.99

The Story:

This very unique single malt from Glenmorangie is aged in specially designed casks. It has no age statement but it’s made up of the oldest and rarest of the distillery’s whiskies and is distilled using roasted “chocolate” barley along with single estate Cadboll barley.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll be treated to notes of dried cherries, orange peels, subtle spices, sugar cookies, and maple syrup. The palate is full of hints of cinnamon, candied orange peels, buttery caramel, and sweet treacle. The finish is long, full of warming heat, and ends with a final bit of butterscotch sweetness.

Bottom Line:

A lot of the whiskies on this list are flavorful because of the barrels used in the aging process. This expression gets its memorable flavor from the malts — try it and expand your whisky palate in the process.

17) Ardbeg Blaaack

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $139.99

The Story:

Ardbeg is well-known for its peat-smoked whiskies. In recent years, the distillery has upped its flavor profile by aging its whiskies in sherry, bourbon, and now, with this expression, Pinot Noir casks from New Zealand.

Tasting Notes:

Take time to nose this sip. There you’ll find aromas of smoked bacon, dried cherries, and caramelized sugar. On the palate, this whisky is swirling with flavors of woodsmoke, creamy vanilla, and spicy cinnamon. The finish is medium, fiery, and ends with a nice hit of peat smoke.

Bottom Line:

If you’re already a fan of Ardbeg, the natural progression is Ardbeg Blaaack. It’s as if you kicked Ardbeg 10 up to 11.

16) Glenfiddich 21 Reserva Rum Cask Finish

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $229

The Story:

If you have the money to purchase a 21-year-old bottle of Scotch, you’re probably going to be pretty happy with the flavor. But if you grab a bottle of Glenfiddich 21 Reserva Rum Cask Finish, you’ll have a 21-year-old whisky that was finished for four months in Caribbean rum casks — thereby expanding your whisky palate while offering a feast for the senses.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find aromas of dried orange peels, rich honey, and milk chocolate. The palate is filled with cooking spices, creamy caramel, charred oak, and dried cherries. The last few sips from the glass are full of pleasing heat and end with citrus and butterscotch notes.

Bottom Line:

Rum and Scotch are two spirits that seem to be destined to work together. While you might not be happy if you mix the two, finishing a whisky in a rum cask always seems to be a win.

15) Highland Park 18

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $159.99

The Story:

This highly-award whisky from Highland Park is made using both first-filled sherry season European oak casks as well as American oak barrels. It’s aged to perfection for 18 years in Kirkwall, on the Orkney Islands. The result is a spectacular, mellow, aromatic whisky.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of dried cherries, toasted vanilla, and subtle peat smoke. The palate highlights a broad spectrum of flavors — including toasted marshmallows, clover honey, sour cherries, and cocoa powder. It’s all concluded with a nice kiss of briny peat smoke.

Bottom Line:

There’s a reason Highland Park 18 is one of the most beloved bottles on the market. And this price makes it a winner on multiple levels.

14) Chivas Regal 25

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $429

The Story:

Chivas touts itself as the first luxury whisky, having produced its first expression in 1909 — a 25-year-old blend. Prohibition put an end to that product, but it was finally re-established in 2007. Only released twice per year, all of the hand-picked whiskies that go into this special bottle have spent a minimum of 25 years maturing.

Tasting Notes:

Take a moment to breathe in this whisky’s various aromas. You’ll be greeted with notes of dried apricots, sweet cream, and caramel. The sip yields hints of raisins, butterscotch, shortbread, and subtle cinnamon spice. It ends with a nice bit of heat, complemented by caramel and subtle smoke.

Bottom Line:

Sometimes people look down on blended whisky. If that’s you, just take one sip of Chivas Regal 25 and your mind will be completely changed.

13) Ardbeg Traigh Bhan

ABV: 46.2%

Average Price: $289

The Story:

This small-batch whisky from Islay’s Ardbeg Distillery gets its name from the island’s famous Traigh Bhan beach. It was aged for 18 years in a combination of American oak barrels and Oloroso sherry butts.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of dried fruits, charred oak, and a kiss of smoky peat. The palate adds layers, with caramel apples, creamy vanilla, smoked bacon, and subtle cinnamon predominating. The finish is long, warming, and closes with a final flourish of peat smoke.

Bottom Line:

If you started with Ardbeg 10 and worked your way up to An Oa, Blaack, and Uigeadail, it’s time to step it up to Traigh Bhan.

12) The Macallan 18 Double Cask

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $429

The Story:

The Macallan is well known for its relationship with Spain. All of its whiskies have at the very least been finished in sherry-seasoned casks. Its Double Cask 18-Year-Old was matured for 18 years in a combination of American and European sherry seasoned casks — making this expression doubly special.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of candied orange peels, caramel, and dried fruits. The palate is loaded up with ripe citrus, vanilla beans, charred oak, and a nice hint of sweet cinnamon. It all ends in a final warming cascade of citrus and brown sugar.

Bottom Line:

The Macallan 12 is a classic bottle that belongs on your shelf at all times. If you have the money, 18 Double Oak should stand alongside it.

11) Glenfarclas 17

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $104

The Story:

While names like Glenlivet, Glenfiddich, and Lagavulin dominated the market, Glenfarclas has quietly become one of the most highly-regard distilleries in Scotland. Its 17-year-old expression was aged solely in 100% Oloroso sherry butts, giving it a distinctly sweet, warming flavor.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll be treated to aromas of sweet sherry, dried cherries, brown sugar, and subtle smoke. The first sip is full of bold flavors like buttery caramel, charred oak, cooking spices, and a warm hug of peat smoke. It finishes with a long, warming feeling and a nice hit of sweet cinnamon.

Bottom Line:

If you’re a fan of both sherry and peat, this is your jam. Grab as many bottles as you can and hide them from your whisky-loving friends.

10) Ardbeg Supernova

ABV: 53.8%

Average Price: $200

The Story:

This aptly named Ardbeg offering is a high proof, bold, smoke bomb. This extremely limited-edition, no-age-statement whisky was aged in ex-bourbon barrels. While it gained the sweet, caramel, and vanilla flavors from the casks that once held bourbon, this is Ardbeg’s smokiest whisky by far and will only appeal to true peat fans.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is filled with herbal, smoky, and sweet caramel aromas. Take a sip and you’ll be transported to a world of subtle cinnamon, spicy pepper, buttery vanilla, and a whole lot of charred, smoky peat. (You have to be ready for it, it comes on strong.) The last few sips are warming and end with a nice final hint of that peaty smoke.

Bottom Line:

Did we mention this whisky was smoky? It’s really freaking smoky. If that’s your thing, you’ll love it.

9) The Glenlivet XXV

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $429.99

The Story:

This exceptional, highly rated whisky spends 23 years in a traditional oak cask before being double-barreled in hand-picked first-fill sherry casks for two more years. The result is a memorable whisky, bursting with a mixture of fresh fruits and caramel sweetness.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find notes of cocoa, dried cherries, and charred oak. The sip delivers flavors of spicy cinnamon, raisins, caramelized sugar, and a nutty sweetness. It all ends in a final wave of sherry and vanilla.

Bottom Line:

This bottle isn’t cheap for a reason. It was aged for a long time and the price and flavor reflect this. Keep it for a truly special occasion and drink it neat.

8) Bruichladdich Black Art 1994 Edition 07.1

ABV: 48.4%

Average Price: $400

The Story:

The seventh Black Art release, this expression was distilled way back in 1994 before being aged for 25 years in unknown barrels (there’s a lot of mystery surrounding this bottle). It was bottled at cask strength, is non-chill filtered, and as bold and rugged as the island it was distilled and aged on.

Unlike many Islay offerings, Black Art isn’t peated.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of toasted marshmallow, nutmeg, dried fruits, and crème brûlée. The first sip will send you into a world of mellow, rich caramel candy, coconut, candied orange peel, and charred oak. The finish is long, warming, and ends with butterscotch and roasted almonds.

Bottom Line:

If you’re a fan of Islay and its peated whiskies, this is a perfect change of pace. It’s rich, warming, and doesn’t have the gut-punch of smoke that most of that island’s whiskies have.

7) Bowmore 25 Small Batch Release

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $503

The Story:

Bowmore doesn’t get the name recognition of some of the other more lauded Islay distilleries, but it is no less beloved by its fans. This small-batch release was matured for 25 years in a combination of ex-bourbon cask and sherry butts. The result is a highly complex juice with a nice mingling of caramel smokiness and sherry sweetness.

Tasting Notes:

Take time to savor the various aromas and you’ll find notes of ocean brine, caramel, and subtle peat smoke. On the palate, you’re sure to pick up sticky toffee pudding, dried cherries, rich walnuts, and more peaty smoke. The end of the sip is very warm and finishes with a nice combo of maple candy and briny smoke.

Bottom Line:

This is one of the most complex whiskies on the market. It strikes the perfect balance between peaty smoke and sherry sweetness.

6) Bunnahabhain 25

ABV: 46.3%

Average Price: $899

The Story:

This non-chill filtered, small-batch whisky was aged for 25 years at the brand’s Islay distillery. It’s referred to as the “super-premium” member of Bunnahabhain’s range of whiskies. It’s nuanced, well-balanced, and bridges the gap between fruity, nutty, and gently smoky with ease.

Tasting Notes:

Take a whiff of this special bottle and bask in the aromas of charred oak, dried cherries, and toasted vanilla beans. The palate is swimming with a nutty sweetness followed by fresh fruits, buttery caramel, and light peat. The finish is dry, lingering, and ends with a nice combination of smoke and brown sugar.

Bottom Line:

This is a perfect representation of the various styles of whisky from Islay. While many simply assume all the whiskies are smoke bombs, this expression proves that a gentle kiss of smoke is often enough.

5) The Dalmore King Alexander III

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $359

The Story:

This expression doesn’t carry an age statement, but it’s made up of whiskies ranging in ages from 12 to 25 years old as well the brand’s Cigar Malt. This ridiculously complex bottle also contains whiskies that were aged in various containers — including ex-bourbon casks, Madeira wine barrels, marsala wine casks, Oloroso sherry butts, and even cabernet sauvignon barrels.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find hints of dried fruits, caramelized sugar, and vanilla beans. The palate develops those notes — layering in crème brûlée, candied orange peels, buttery caramel, and blackberries. The close is sweet, warming, and ends with a nice, pleasing kick of cinnamon.

Bottom Line:

You’ll feel like royalty when you slowly sip on a dram of The Dalmore King Alexander III.

4) Laphroaig 30

ABV: 53.5%

Average Price: $849

The Story:

Even in peat fan circles, Laphroaig isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like brine and antiseptic flavors along with smoky peat, you won’t enjoy this 30-year-old expression. Aged in refill hogsheads before being moved to first-fill ex-bourbon barrels and refill quarter casks, this is a spectacular offering for smoky whisky fans.

If you don’t like the smoke, leave this alone.

Tasting Notes:

Nose this special release and your nostrils will fill with the aromas of toasted brown sugar, almonds, and dried fruits. Take a sip and you’ll get to enjoy the numerous flavors working in harmony — including ocean brine, orange peels, vanilla beans, and a nice hit of peat smoke. It all ends with a final, warming sip of caramel and wood smoke.

Bottom Line:

This iconic bottle will be the centerpiece of any whisky collection. It’s a must for true smoke lovers with some cash on hand.

3) Mortlach 26

ABV: 53.3%

Average Price: $1,800

The Story:

If you haven’t had a chance to try one of Mortlach’s whiskies, we suggest starting with its reasonably priced 12-year. If your palate (and wallet) has evolved past that expression, this 26-year-old was matured in both Pedro Ximenez and Oloroso sherry butts and is truly a feast for the senses.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll be greeted with aromas of the rick house itself, tobacco leaves, almonds, and sweet vanilla. Take a sip and you’ll find hints of dried cherries, chocolate fudge, buttery caramel, sweet sherry, and burnt sugar with cream. The close is snuggly warm, with a great hit of caramel and cracked black pepper at the very end.

Bottom Line:

This is an exceptional bottle of whisky. It’s also really expensive. If you get a chance to try it, SAVOR EVERY SIP.

2) The Macallan M

ABV: 44%

Average Price: $6,400

The Story:

While this whisky doesn’t carry an age statement, it was made using the rarest whiskies at The Macallan and you can bet they’re really old and really rare. The main whisky in The Macallan’s 1824 Series, it was a collaboration between The Macallan, art director Fabien Baron, and Lalique.

Tasting Notes:

You’ll definitely want to nose this whisky before sipping it. We mean for a few solid minutes. Breathe and reflect on the teat you’re about to consume.

Upfront, you’ll find aromas of leather, charred oak, baking spices, candied orange peels, and sweet vanilla cream. The first sip adds to that cavalcade of flavors with sweet sherry, rich milk chocolate, buttery caramel, and just a wisp of smoke. The finish is filled with pleasing heat and ends with hints of tobacco and vanilla beans.

Bottom Line:

This whisky is touted as the “most sophisticated whisky in the world” and with its flavor and Lalique crystal decanter, it’s really hard to argue.

1) The Dalmore 45

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $14,600

The Story:

You can’t speed up time (unless you have a DeLorean and a mad scientist) so to get a whisky aged for 45 years, you have to wait very patiently. That time costs money, as does the craft that goes into this sublime, 45-year-old whisky — first matured in ex-bourbon barrels before being transferred to two different varieties of Vintage Graham’s Port Colheita pipes.

The two whiskeys are then blended and finished in ex-bourbon casks, adding yet another layer to this fascinating offering.

Tasting Notes:

You’ll be greeted with the smells of a musty barrelhouse, dried cherries, rich almonds, and sweet plums. The first taste lightens the mustiness with toasted marshmallows, baking spices, sweet chocolate, and creamy vanilla. It all ends in a brief, warming splash of caramel and spice.

Bottom Line:

Not many Scotch drinkers can justify spending $14,600 for one bottle of whisky. But if you just sold a tech company, know this: This is my favorite sip of whisky ever. So buy a bottle and invite me to share it with you and your rich friends. Please.

Last year G-Eazy released a side project called, Everything’s Strange Here, which was a fitting album to release in 2020. Getting stranger himself, the rapper was covering Radiohead and The Beatles, working with Mulatto and Rexx Life Raj, and even embracing activism by putting together clips of protestors drawing attention to the unjust murder of George Floyd.

Given how much he’s been expanding his palette during the entirely strange world of lockdown, it’s not surprising that his latest track leans much more into the R&B side of things, linking up with the excellent Kiana Ledé for “A Little More.” The artwork for the song channels throwback R&B cover on a scratched CD case, adding to the nostalgia. Maybe this feature is a hint that Ledé is gearing up to release a new project, during her 2019 EP Myself era, she was on a mission to empower young women, and last year she dropped her debut album Kiki.

For his part, G-Eazy raps about cooking breakfast, buying gifts for his girl, and even writing songs for her, so maybe he’s learned a few things about dating women since he infamously cheated on Halsey. She wrote extensively about their seemingly toxic relationship on her 2020 album Manic, which might be a better indication than this song of what Gerald is like as a partner. Then again, maybe “A Little More” showcases how much he’s changed. Listen above.

The shorthanded Portland Trail Blazers looked to pick up their second win in a week over the Sixers, who hold the East’s best record. Damian Lillard was back for this game and had a big first half with 21 points, but was held in relative check with just nine (including a clutch three) in the second half.

With the Sixers threatening to pull away in the early fourth quarter, Portland turned to Carmelo Anthony to give them the lift they needed and he obliged with a 17-point fourth quarter, piling up the threes in a sensational individual performance.

However, after a hot start where he had 15 of the Blazers first 19 points of the quarter, he cooled off some and the Sixers once again closed the gap. After Lillard’s big three to take a five-point lead with 1:15 to play, the Sixers would answer with two straight scores, as Seth Curry would tie the game at 114-114 with a clutch three of his own in transition as he finally was able to get loose for a clean look.

Ben Simmons harassed Damian Lillard on Portland’s ensuing possession before taking Philly’s foul to give with five seconds on the clock, meaning the Blazers had to draw up a potential game-winning play. The ball ended up in Anthony’s hands, who earned a pair of free throws when he got tripped up and fouled at the top of the key.

Anthony made both of his free throws but the Sixers had 3.1 seconds to come up with an answer. After advancing the ball, Philly had Ben Simmons inbounding, but couldn’t get any of their first options free and Simmons came late to Harris curling off an Embiid screen at the foul line. Robert Covington recognized where Simmons was going and left Embiid to jump the pass, sealing the game with the steal and tipping it to Lillard who sank two free throws to ice it.

It is a season series sweep for the Blazers in the most improbable of fashion, as they beat the East’s best team twice while shorthanded, withstanding big nights from Joel Embiid each time (35 points on Thursday) to get a pair of big victories in their quest to stay afloat in the West playoff race.

For Philly, it’s another head-scratching loss to Portland and they still have some things to figure out with execution late in close games on offense. Still the story of the night will be the Melo eruption in the fourth quarter, as he turned back the clock and put on a show that helped lift the Blazers to a win.

If there was ever a time to release a song that showed love to the special woman in your life, Valentine’s weekend would be the perfect time to do it. That’s exactly what DoeBoy and Lil Uzi Vert did with their new track, “Lowkey.” The two rappers gave thanks to their love interests who opt to keep things quiet in public rather than loud and flashy. As rappers who may have targets on their backs, DoeBoy and Uzi love that their partners can stay low and enjoy each other’s presence.

The song stands as DoeBoy and Lil Uzi’s second collaboration together following their late 2020 effort, “Bussin.” That song could be found on DoeBoy’s Demons R Us, a joint effort he released last November with executive production from Southside. On the flip side, things have been rather active for Lil Uzi, but for things outside of music for the most part. The Philly rapper recently caught the attention of social media after he had a pink diamond embedded in his forehead thanks to New York jewelry company, Eliantte & Co. Elsewhere he revealed that Jay-Z compared him to Prince and that he and Grimes are “making hits” together as well as planning to get “brain chips” together.

You can listen to “Lowkey” in the video above.

Lil Uzi Vert is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Evan Rachel Wood seemingly opened the floodgates when she recently came forward to name ex-partner Brian Warner, a.k.a., “Marilyn Manson,” as her alleged abuser, who she accused of terrorizing her during their relationship, which apparently began in 2007 (when she was 18 and he was 36) and ended in 2010. In doing so, Wood accused Manson of both “grooming” and “horrifically” abusing her, but this wasn’t the beginning of the allegations against Manson. Yes, it’s true that the accusations are now intensifying, yet this wasn’t Manson’s first alleged (horrible) rodeo. Let’s run down the timeline of allegations against the disgraced singer, who’s now experiencing a career freefall.

February 1998: Manson’s The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell memoir revealed a lot more claims than mere run-of-the-mill backstage antics. At the time, Jim Derogatis of the Chicago Reader criticized the book for revealing Manson “generally mistreating one or more women per page.” In a chapter called “Meating the Fans / Meat and Greet,” an especially egregious account detailed how Manson and his bandmates covered a young woman in raw meat and urinated upon her. In describing the incident, Manson wrote, “I think she, too, found it to be art and was having a good time.”

Within the memoir, Manson also described an alleged incident in which he and Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor (during a joint tour in the 1990s) sexually assaulted an intoxicated woman. Reznor previously denied the allegations, and on February 3, 2010, Reznor condemned Manson with the following statement to Pitchfork:

“I have been vocal over the years about my dislike of Manson as a person and cut ties with him nearly 25 years ago. As I said at the time, the passage from Manson’s memoir is a complete fabrication. I was infuriated and offended back when it came out and remain so today.”

November 1998: A lawsuit from Craig Marks (at the time, Spin‘s executive editor) alleged that Manson threatened fatal violence over his unhappiness with a cover feature. That lawsuit settled and never went to court, but while discussing the incident in 2017 with Rolling Stone, Manson claimed to have been “arrested for putting a gun in the mouth of an editor of SPIN,” although Manson was never arrested for the incident.

December 2001: Manson was, however, arrested for assaulting a security guard during a show in Clarkson, Michigan when he allegedly rubbed his crotch (covered in a G-string) on the guard’s head and spitting upon the man. He paid a $4,000 fine and pleaded no contest on disorderly conduct after a warrant was issued over felony fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct and misdemeanor assault and battery allegations.

April 2002: The mother of actress Jennifer Syme (an ex-girlfriend of Keanu Reeves) brought a wrongful death lawsuit against Manson for allegedly giving Syme drugs during a gathering at his home and encouraging her to get into her Jeep and drive home. Syme fatally crashed her Jeep; however, Manson denied the accusations against him as “completely false.” At the time, Blabbermouth quoted Manson as threatening a countersuit for slander and harassment and explaining the alleged incident as follows:

“This lawsuit, which is completely without merit, will not bring back Jennifer’s life. It serves only to reopen the wounds and the pain felt by all who loved Jennifer. It is a pity that St. John sullies her own daughter’s reputation by filing this baseless claim… After Manson and his five guests finished an evening at the movies followed by a quiet get-together at his home, he made sure Syme received a safe ride home from a designated driver and went to sleep.”

2007: Manson and Evan Rachel Wood went public with their relationship. As mentioned above, she was 18 at the time, and he was 36 years old. They endured a breakup and an engagement and split for good in 2010.

June 2009: Manson discussed his initial 2007 breakup with Wood to Spin, to which he admitted self-harming, including cutting himself and sending photos of his injuries to Wood. He also spoke of how he fantasized “every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer” while claiming this as the inspiration for his song, “I Want to Kill You Like They Do in the Movies.” His representatives (and as recently as November 2020) dismissed Manson’s comments as “obviously a theatrical rock star interview promoting a new record, and not a factual account.” That statement pointed towards Evan and Manson’s subsequent engagement as indicative “that no one took this story literally.”

July 2009: Manson threatened to murder journalists, and according to NME, he wrote this rant on his website: “I am far different than the soon-to-be-murdered-in-their-home press has decided to fabricate. If one more ‘journalist’ makes a cavalier statement about me and my band, I will personally or with my fans’ help, greet them at their home and discover just how much they believe in their freedom of speech.”

November 2016: Evan Rachel Wood spoke with Rolling Stone to promote the first Westworld season. In doing so, she revealed herself to be a sexual assault survivor, although she did not name her alleged abuser.

October 2017: Sexual and psychological abuse allegations against longtime bassist Jeordie White, a.k.a., Twiggy Ramirez, surfaced from his ex-girlfriend, Jessicka Addams, who claimed that White raped her during their 1990s relationship. Manson stated that he wasn’t aware of the accusations until recently, and he declared, “I am saddened by Jessicka’s obvious distress.” The singer subsequently tweeted, “I have decided to part ways with Jeordie White as a member of Marilyn Manson. He will be replaced for the upcoming tour. I wish him well.” For his part, Ramirez denied the allegations and stated that he’d “only recently been made aware of these allegations from over 20 years ago.” He added, “I do not condone non-consensual sex of any kind.”

February 2018: Evan Rachel Wood’s advocacy for domestic abuse survivors led her to U.S. congressional testimony to support the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights Act. While speaking to the House Judiciary Committee, she declared of the abuse, “It started slow but escalated over time, including threats against my life, severe gaslighting and brainwashing, [and] waking up to the man that claimed to love me raping what he believed to be my unconscious body.”

August 2018: Amid the #MeToo movement, the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office declared that they would not pursue charges against Manson after an accuser filed a report against him for unspecified sex crimes. Given that the alleged crimes occurred in 2011, the statute of limitations had already run, and the DA declared that there was an “absence of corroboration.” Manson’s representatives issued the following statement:

“The allegations made to the police were and are categorically denied by Mr. Warner and are either completely delusional or part of a calculated attempt to generate publicity for the claimant’s business of selling Manson memorabilia. The police report that spurred the investigation was accompanied by the woman’s press release and other attempts to generate publicity that fraudulently claimed she was held captive by Mr. Warner for 48 hours in 2011. Any claim of sexual impropriety or imprisonment at that, or any other, time is false.”

April 2019: Evan Rachel Wood testified in front of the California Senate Public Safety Committee in support of the Phoenix Bill (to expand the rights of domestic abuse survivors). During a detailed account of the abuse she had suffered, Wood declared that her unnamed abuser “beat me and shocked sensitive parts of my body with a torture device called a violet wand.” She continued: “The pain was excruciating. It felt like I left my body and a part of me died that day.”

February 2021: Evan Rachel Wood named Manson as her alleged abuser. In doing so, she accused him of “grooming” and “horrifically” abusing her over the course of their relationship. She issued the following statement:

“The name of my abuser is Brian Warner, also known to the world as Marilyn Manson. He started grooming me when I was a teenager and horrifically abused me for years. I was brainwashed and manipulated into submission. I am done living in fear of retaliation, slander, or blackmail. I am here to expose this dangerous man and call out the many industries that have enabled him, before he ruins any more lives. I stand with the many victims who will no longer be silent.”

In response to Wood’s Instagram post, several women (as discussed by Vanity Fair) immediately came forward against Manson with allegations of abuse against him. Prior to her post, Wood seemed to suggest that she was preparing a statement of some sort while referencing the 1986 Jim Henson film, Labyrinth. In doing so, she quoted the words of Jennifer Connelly’s teen character while she took back her power from David Bowie’s Goblin King: “Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle, beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours… And my kingdom is as great…”

February 2021: Manson’s professional woes began to accumulate. His record label, Loma Vista Recordings, removed him from their roster, and his agency, CAA, dropped him as well. Additionally, his longtime manager, Tony Ciulla, parted ways with him. Two TV shows (AMC’s Creepshow anthology series and Starz’s ongoing American Gods) that filmed appearances by Manson also removed him from upcoming episodes.

February 2021: Manson describes the allegations against him as “horrible distortions of reality.” He issued this statement in full:

“Obviously, my art and my life have long been magnets for controversy, but these recent claims about me are horrible distortions of reality. My intimate relationships have always been entirely consensual with like-minded partners. Regardless of how – and why – others are now choosing to misrepresent the past, that is the truth.”

February 2021: California State Senator Susan Rubio called upon the FBI to investigate “alleged cases” against Manson, which Rubio did not detail:

“Since some of the alleged cases against Mr. Warner are from California, I am especially alarmed. Individuals who engage in this kind of abuse are often serial offenders. If these allegations are true, and no investigation is undertaken, we will be failing the victims and allowing a possible perpetrator to continue abusing unsuspecting victims. That must not be allowed to happen.”

February 2021: Phoebe Bridgers told a sickening story about Manson, who she accused of showing off a “rape room” in his home when she visited with friends as a teenager. “I thought it was just his horrible frat boy sense of humor,” Bridgers wrote. “I stopped being a fan. I stand with everyone who came forward.” She added that “the label knew, management knew, the band knew” and slammed Manson’s associates for “pretending to be shocked and horrified… [it] is f*cking pathetic.”

February 2021: Wood revealed that she decided to publicly identify Manson when she filed a police report because “I was alerted to threats made by @leslee_lane and @lindsayusichofficial (Brian’s wife) for conspiring to release photos of me when I was UNDERAGE, after being given large amounts of drugs and alcohol, after Brian performed on Halloween in Las Vegas to ‘ruin my career’ and ‘shut me up.’” Wood also accused Manson of anti-Semitic behavior. “I was called a jew in a derogatory manner,” she wrote. “He would draw swastikas over my bedside table when he was mad at me. I heard the ‘n’ word over and over.”

February 2021: Corey Feldman comes forward to accuse the “obsessed” Manson of “decades of mental and emotional abuse. Feldman’s claims include grooming and being kissed without consent, and he makes reference to passages that Manson wrote about him in his 1998 memoir, The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell, as evidence that Manson is “obsessed” with Feldman:

“Manson has been obsessed w me 4 over 2 decades! Dont #BELIEVE me? Just LOOK @ THE PUBLISHED FACTS! He 1st wrote several passages about me in his book #LONGROADOUTOFHELL as we had met a few months prior 2 that @ a Premier 4 #HOWARDSTERNSPRIVATEPARTS IN NY where the #GROOMING process began. He grabbed my face in front of the crowd and kissed me w his Black Lip Stick that I couldn’t rub off all night. He proceeded 2 gush over me telling me what a ‘Huge fan’ of mine he was.”

February 2021: Wolf Alice’s Ellie Rowsell accused Manson of pointing a camera up her skirt during a music festival. She expressed solidarity with Evan Rachel Wood and other survivors while adding, “It’s sad to see people defending him, just because he put his depravity in plain sight doesn’t give him a free pass to abuse women?!” Rowell added, “There were no repercussions for his behaviour… he does this kind of thing all the time.’”

February 2021: Game of Thrones actress Esme Bianco came forward to reveal that her 2011 relationship with Manson “almost destroyed” her. During an interview with New York Magazine, Bianco provided photos to the publication and gave her harrowing account of physical abuse by Manson, who she claims terrorized her (with both emotional and physical abuse that included whipping, cutting, and bruising her) during the two months that she lived with him. Her claims were corroborated to New York by Manson’s former assistant, Jessica Walters, who went on record with the publication. A former member of Manson’s inner circle also spoke up (under the pseudonym of Alex) to reveal that he’d spotted bruises on Bianco’s back and arms, but he was too afraid to speak up out of fear of retaliation. Bianco accused Manson of playing her Game of Thrones sex scenes in front of friends while berating and humiliating her, and here’s a bleak summary of what she says gave her PTSD:

Bianco spent roughly two months living with Manson, drinking heavily to cope. She was often in a dissociative state, “hovering above life like I was looking at it through a net curtain,” she says, raising her hands in front of her face. Once, she remembers, he repeatedly cut her torso with a knife. “I just remember laying there, and I didn’t fight it,” she says. “It was kind of this final-straw moment where I had lost all sense of hope and safety.” He sent a photo of her cuts to Walters and one of his bandmates at the time, with the subject line “See what happens?”

As of this writing, Manson hasn’t commented upon Bianco’s accusations. He’s currently without a record label and has gone radio silent, although TMZ reports that police recently performed a wellness check at Manson’s home after a friend grew concerned when he was unable to reach the singer by phone.

Ariana Grande’s latest album, Positions might’ve gotten a little lost in the dramatic 2020 presidential election, but now that the blue states have safely been certified for President Biden — who Grande campaigned for — the best single off the record is finally getting the attention it deserves. Already one of the most sex-positive and explicit tracks on the record, “34 + 35” quickly replaced the title track as the fan-favorite off the album, even if that video imagines Ari as the president herself.

But as great as “34 +45” is on its own, Ari decided to make it better by enlisting two of the hottest rappers in the game right now to jump on a remix, adding Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion verses, and teasing a new video with all three stars. Now that clip is here, and like most Ari videos, it does not disappoint. The three girls live a life of hotel luxury in the clip, sitting by the pool, lounging in lingerie, and drinking plenty of champagne. After all, Grande does have a real life engagement to celebrate, so bubbly is in order. As great as the track is, Megan’s verse steals the show, with even Ari rapping along to her brilliant additions. Check out the whole clip above, which also includes a funny behind-the-scenes shot of Ari trying to order room service for the crew. Baked Alaska, anyone?

Jensen Macrae kicked off 2021 in a big way when her imaginary cover of Phoebe Bridgers’ next single went viral on Twitter. After Phoebe co-signed the cover, MacRae went ahead and made a full version of the song, and “Immune” is anything but a joke. It landed Jensen on our rising pop stars list, in that she has the potential to become an artist that takes over this year. MacRae is releasing her debut album later this year, and tonight she’s shared a new collaboration with X Ambassadors. The band teased a clip of the new track on Twitter without sharing any details, but now it’s out and the song is called “Skip That Party.”

For her part, Jensen had a pretty epic description of the song — “it’s like ‘Drivers License’ but if Bon Iver wrote it and he was an extremely pissed off 23-year-old girl,” she wrote.

In the track, Jensen and X Ambassadors’ Sam Harris take turns on verses that sound like they’re about the disintegration of a relationship. Decidedly a rock song, with plenty of handclaps and beats, the song gets heavy and distorted at the most emotional peaks. It’s definitely a tear jerker, which might be just what some people are looking for what we have all been through during this pandemic. It’s unclear if the song will be on MacRae’s debut album, but it’s listed as an X Ambassadors song that she is featured on. Check out the collaboration above and look out for a lot more new music from MaRae this year.

The beginning of February marked the four-anniversary of Syd’s lone solo album, Fin. Months after the album arrived she returned with another solo project with her Always Never Home EP, but since then, aside from a few guest appearances, the singer has left her solo career untouched as she returned to The Internet. However, even with that collective, things have been quiet since their 2018 album Hive Mind. While it remains unknown what’s in store for the singer in 2021, fans can enjoy the first bit of music from her in a while this year thanks to her new single, “Missing You.”

The track is described as an “anti-Valentine’s Day ode” that brings all of Syd’s best qualities to the table. In the song, she speaks about the end of an old relationship, which concluded due to their inability to “spend the proper time trying to work it out.” Now that it’s a thing of the past, she spends the rest of the song pondering her ex’s current life and if they’ve found any happiness. “Hope you’re finding what you need / Or what you seek,” she sings. “Cause now I’m free / And maybe in another life / You’d be mine.”

Before sharing her latest single, Syd joined Kehlani and Disclosure last year for “Birthday.” Prior to that, she could be found alongside Lil Uzi Vert and Free Nationals on “Urgency” and “Shibuya” respectively.

Listen to “Missing Out” in the video above.

Movies are a lot like rock ‘n’ roll. Yes, they can be the absolute corniest thing in the world, but the corniness is part of what makes them great. The best ones find that common corn in all of us. And what’s more corny than finding common cause with your fellow man?

There is, perhaps, no more perfect illustration of movies’ inherent cheese than the “trailer line.” The film trailer, of course, attempts to reduce a feature-length film down to a 1-2 minute advertisement. Not a summation, but an encapsulation of the feeling the movie is meant to produce — “sell the sizzle, not the steak,” as they say.

Occasionally, in only the best of scenarios, that 1-2 minutes will boil down even further, into a single, definitive line; one glorious soundbite of pure sizzle, so hot it burns your tongue. If movies are life distilled, and trailers are movies distilled, trailer lines are like beautiful blue meth crystals of pure cinema. The best ones are more memorable than the movies from whence they came, or even make the movies themselves irrelevant.

We tried to discover the best.

Trailer Line: “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars.”

Movie: The Social Network (2010)

Someone should probably slap the keyboard out of my hands every time I try to write about The Social Network at this point, but at the risk of repeating myself, it has to be one of the best-marketed movies of all time. When you think about the movie, be honest, was the first thing that comes to mind the actual movie or something from one of the trailers? The slowed-down dramatic cover of “Creep” ushered in an entire era of copycat versions, but if you remember just one thing from The Social Network, whether or not you even saw it, chances are it was probably the perfect trailer line, bitchily delivered by Justin Timberlake in his finest acting moment: “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars.”

Not only is it perfect earworm cheese, it’s also a perfect summation of the movie, in a way no one involved probably even intended. “A million dollars isn’t cool…” is The Social Network‘s id. There are a lot of things it pretends to be about, but mostly it’s about how making a billion dollars is cool.

Trailer Line: “Moy naime is Chev Chelios, an’ today is da day dat oy doy.”

Movie: Crank (2006)

If it feels like we’ve been living in a shitty alternate future, I have to think part of the reason is that Neveldine and Taylor haven’t made a movie together since 2011. Come back, Neveldine/Taylor, the world needs you.

Neveldine/Taylor made movie-movies, movies that basically had the “movie” dial cranked up until it distorted. So it’s fitting that their most memorable trailer took one of the most conventional ways to start a trailer and blasted it until it cracked — arguably spawning the Twitter meme,”record scratch, freeze frame: yup, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got here” in the process. Not to mention hundreds of posts of my own written in ersatz Statham voice.

“My name is Chev Chelios, and today is the day I die” is the movie version of a rapper starting a song “my name is ___ and I’m here to say…”

To be sure, Statham’s inimitable accent is part of what makes it, but also: his name is “Chev Chelios.” Has there ever been a more perfect Jason Statham character name than “Chev Chelios?” Or a more perfect Statham plot? Every Neveldine/Taylor movie, and every facet of Jason Statham’s persona, is perfectly distilled in “my name is Chev Chelios, and today is the day that I die.”

Trailer Line: “I’m going to steal the Declaration Of Independence.”

Movie: National Treasure (2004)

Now that it’s been 16 or 17 years, I thought I might be able to look back on this stretch of early aughts Bruckheimer movies with a fondness I couldn’t summon at the time. But honestly, no, these movies were goddamned terrible. Watching this trailer now all I can think is how eerily it foreshadows both the Q movement and that awful smart-alecky Joss Whedon-style of self-aware acting. “So that happened…”

I don’t think I noticed that kind of acting so much until I had a stepkid in the house, but it is in every show or movie aimed at kids nowadays and it is terrible.

Trailer Line: “You’re the man now, dog.”

Movie: Finding Forrester (2000)

The “old person uses young person slang,” or “the rappin’ granny,” as I like to call it, has been a staple of bad comedies at least since Son In Law (“I gotta tell you, Travis, it really tweaks my melon to see a buff bro like Crawl here get weized on by a greasy scumbag like you. So you just chill.” -I wish I could get this scene permanently excised from my brain).

The twist of Finding Forrester was that it was Sean Connery doing it, in a scene that wasn’t intended to be comedic. I’m sensing a theme here, that trailer lines delivered in funny accents are inherently more memorable. The combination was so brain-shattering that not only did it long outlive the movie from whence it came, it spawned a cult website that outlived either. You’re the man now, dog.

Trailer Line: “In Africa, it’s bling-bang.”

Movie: Blood Diamond (2006)

Every once in a while, the effort to come up with the perfect trailer line leads to something so clunky, so perfectly nonsensical and idiotic, that it becomes a perfectly trailer line almost entirely by accident. I will never forget “In Africa, it’s bling-bang” for as long as I live (yes, I know it’s technically “out here it’s bling-bang,” but I choose to remember it my way). It’s a sub-moronic line, delivered in arguably Leonardo DiCaprio’s worst on-screen accent, with an even dumber look on his face. You know how when a great athlete makes an incredible play they say “he makes it look easy?”

With bling-bang, the exact opposite is true. It makes everything — writing, acting, cutting trailers, facial expressions, speaking with accents — seem incredibly difficult. “In Africa, it’s bling-bang” is almost a meta deconstruction of the act of making a trailer line. I love it so much.

Trailer Line: “The only law that matters is gravity.”

Movie: The Point Break remake (2015)

The Point Break remake somehow distilled all the silliness of the original and quadrupled down, making it about “extreme sports polyathletes” (yes, they use that term). It truly is a magnificent movie and I implore all of you to see it if you haven’t. It’s pretty hard to distill the Point Break remake, which was two hours of non-stop ridiculousness, into a single line. And yet, “the only law that matters is gravity” manages to do it just about perfectly.

Trailer Line: “A particular set of skills.”

Movie: Taken (2008)

Clearly, the aughts were the heyday of the trailer line, which was probably a combination of the ubiquity and inescapability of TV advertising and the movie industry shifting towards massive “tentpole” blockbusters as their main source of income. These days neither is really true, and the closest thing we have to a “trailer line” is the Chipotle guy saying “It’s bomb steak.” I wish I could get that out of my head.

Anyway, I already wrote a previous list based entirely on the genre of movies that Taken unleashed, and without relitigating that, I’d just say here that the trailer was probably more influential than the movie ever was. More so than any other trailer line on this list, “a particular set of skills” is probably far more about the deliverer than about the line itself. No one delivers a trailer line like my man Liam Neesons. On that note, “release the Kraken!” is probably worth an honorable mention here.

Trailer Line: “Look at me, I am the captain now.”

Movie: Captain Phillips (2013)

In retrospect, Barkhad Abdi deserves more credit. When you consider that Captain Phillips is a movie starring Captain Tawm Hanks with a Masshole accent, it’s a wonder that someone else stole the trailer line. Sometimes it’s the unconventional choice that wins out. I gawta put this whole team of pirates in my reahview!

Trailer Line: “Get off my plane!”

Movie: Air Force One (1997)

In the nineties, it seemed like every other action movie was “Die Hard on a _____”, and Air Force One might’ve been the most obvious derivation. Obviously, it was Die Hard on Air Force One, and the centerpiece trailer line was delivered while the hero threw the circle bearded foreign villain to his death, just like in Die Hard. I don’t know that I ever saw this movie all the way through, but it’s a credit to just how good a trailer it is that I had completely memory hole the fact that Gary Oldman was the bad guy getting off the plane.

Trailer Line: “Gimme back my son!”

Movie: Ransom (1996)

Mel Gibson’s life is like a Greek tragedy. It was his ability to shake with rage while shouting invective that brought him fame and fortune, but in the end shouting and screaming was also what brought him down. Okay, so “down” is a bit of a stretch, considering he’s still insanely rich and even stars in movies from time to time.

But imagine having the power to scream and grandstand like that on a split-second’s notice. How could you resist? Whenever I hear “leaked” audio of actors ranting, like Tom Cruise or Christian Bale, all I can think about is how good they are at screaming — fully articulate, no stuttering or false starts, and with the presence of mind to even take dramatic pauses in between clauses. On the one hand, sure, what incredible assholes they must be. But on the other, listening to them scream and grandstand is like watching Tiger Woods hit a stinger draw off the tee that tracks the fairway perfectly and never gets more than 15 feet off the ground. In those moments, it’s so obvious that you’re watching a master of his instrument at the top of his craft.

Sidenote: Hey, did you know Ron Howard directed this? Wild.

Trailer Line: “I ALREADY work around the clock!”

Movie: Extraordinary Measures (2010)

Perhaps no trailer line has ever so far outpaced the movie from whence it came as Harrison Ford shouting “I ALREADY work around the clock” in Extraordinary Measures. Did you even remember that it was Brendan Fraser that he was screaming at? Gun to my head, I would’ve told you it was Josh Hartnett. This line was so infamous that it spawned a KnowYourMeme page and a segment on Pop Culture Happy Hour.

Rewatching it now, the line is extra jarring on account of how much it seems to come out of nowhere. The trailer seems to be wrapping up, with tinkling pianos, cute sick kids, and the general tone of a Nicholas Sparks weepy. And then, boom, Harrison Ford is angrily screaming. Where’d that come from?

For the record, Extraordinary Measures is just Air Force One, only Gary Oldman is a rare genetic disorder and Harrison Ford’s son is the plane.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

Valentine’s Day is just two days away and while most are looking for new love, or hoping to celebrate with an already-secured partner, 6lack and Lil Tjay have different goals in mind. Their new collaboration, “Calling My Phone,” finds the two acts trying their best to escape the grasp of a former lover, who can’t seem to understand that the relationship has ended.

Lil Tjay delivers a promise to never return to his ex singing, “I done told you before that it’s over, leave me ‘lone.” He adds, “I won’t go back / But trust me, you’re gon’ hold that.” 6lack arrives for a second verse and doubles down on his collaborator’s message. “No, you can’t wear my chain no more,” he sings. “We are not a thing, can’t take no more.” The song is also paired with a video that shows exactly what the artists’ struggle looks like as their ex-lovers hold on to their coattails in hopes of a chance at renewed love.

The song arrives as 6lack continues work on his upcoming third album. While the new project will be his first full-length effort since 2018’s East Atlanta Love Letter, the Atlanta native made the wait for album No. 3 easier for fans with the release of his 6pc Hot last year.

As for Lil Tjay, the Brooklyn native is coming off a year that saw the release of his State Of Emergency EP before he landed a spot on the 2020 XXL Freshman Class list. Unfortunately, to end the year, Tjay was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana, weapons, and grand larceny

You can listen to the track in the video above.