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The last time we saw John Oliver (while he wore an award-worthy hoodie), he was graciously accepting Last Week Tonight‘s fifth consecutive Best Variety Talk Series award at the Emmys. He was thrilled, so much so that he forgot to thank the object of his obsession, “f*ckable redwood” Adam Driver, but after the excitement cooled down a bit, he took a few minutes to reflect upon his real “dream” for this year. And considering the dumpster fire of 2020, it feels like this is the right year for this type of goal.

I’m referring, of course, to Oliver’s pursuit of having a sewage plant in Danbury, Connecticut named after him. That strange turn of events involved Oliver becoming embroiled in a mock feud with the city and mayor Mark Boughton calling Oliver “full of crap” while faux-threatening the sewage plant rechristening. Well, Oliver was delighted but not pleased to later learn that this was only a joke, so he moved to open his wallet (and the mayor was like, nope, that’s not quite good enough, you gotta promise to show up for a ribbon-cutting ceremony, too).

Post-Emmys, Oliver has now followed up on achieving this goal, which must feel like a marathon by now. Oh, he wants it, as he told Access Hollywood (by way of Variety). He suggested that things are now going his way with the mayor. “My dream this year is to have a sewage plant named after me in Danbury, Connecticut,” Oliver gushed. “And I’m close. I feel like I’m real close.” Oliver added that he doesn’t have “full news” yet on the subject, but he feels that the current chain of events is “very promising.”

Hey, we all have dreams, and it’s hard to judge anyone’s dream in 2020, given our current situation. John Oliver’s keeping his eye on the ball, for which he previously doubled down in late August. “Listen, I didn’t know that I wanted my name on your sh*t factory,” he declared. “But now that you floated it as an option, it is all that I want.” He then threatened to take his sign elsewhere in Connecticut if Boughton and the city council didn’t grant him his wish.

Uhhh, it kinda looks like this is really happening, if Oliver’s follow-up after the Emmys is to be believed? Maybe we’ll hear more about this “sh*t factory” when Last Week Tonight airs a new episode this Sunday.

(Via Access Hollywood and Variety)

Cardi B has already proven to be a multi-talented media personality, appearing in movies, commercials, and more, but it looks like we all missed out on seeing her grace our TV screens as star of a comedy show — unless you count her season on Love & Hip-Hop: New York. On last night’s episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, the host questioned guest Chris Rock about the time Rock tried to get Cardi B her own comedy TV show.

“People are so obviously funny,” Rock explained, citing Leslie Jones as an example and lamenting his unsuccessful efforts to get her an agent before recommending her to Lorne Michaels for SNL. “My kids showed me this Cardi B girl — and she didn’t have a record out or anything — and I was like, ‘We should do a show with her.’ I’m not even gonna say what network. So me, Cardi B, and her management went to get a show going and it never happened. She told me about her rap at the time and I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, that’s good. You’re a comedy star.’ I think Cardi B is one of the funniest people.”

Rock has a point; before “Bodak Yellow” took over radio and playlists worldwide, Cardi was primarily known for her outrageous, spontaneous, and authentic personality in Instagram videos. In fact, she still is, with her rant about coronavirus going — ahem — viral earlier this year and even spawning an EDM remix. Of course, that star power translates through her music as well, which is a big part of why her new song “WAP” with Megan Thee Stallion has basically lived at No. 1 on the Hot 100 chart ever since its release.

Watch Chris Rock’s interview with Jimmy Fallon above.

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

There has been talk recently that the Fast & Furious franchise will be headed to space. Whether or not that’s true, one way or another, Vin Diesel is exploring a new frontier. Instead of leaving the atmosphere, though, he’s breaking into the music world with his first single, “Feel Like I Do.”

The track arrives on Kygo’s Palm Tree Records label, and indeed, it sounds like Kygo’s signature brand of tropical house. Diesel’s singing voice, which sounds nothing like his speaking voice, seems to have been heavily processed, as it sounds here like it has been pitched down.

He premiered the track on The Kelly Clarkson Show and shared a pre-recorded video message about his new endeavor, saying,

“Kelly, I’m so honored to be able to debut my music on your show, because since you first won [American] Idol and until today have somehow maintained your authenticity. I am blessed that on a year that I would normally be on a movie set — as you know, that’s not possible — I’ve had another creative outlet, another way to show you or share with you my heart. To that end, one of the people that first believed in me was Kygo, so I am now going to debut the first song on Kygo’s label, ‘Feels Like I Do.’ I hope you like it.”

Ahead of the track, he also wrote on Instagram, “For so long, I have been promising to release music… encouraged by you, to step out of my comfort zone. Thank you for believing in me. As always, I hope to make you proud.”

Listen to “Feel Like I Do” above.

I don’t know if this happens to the rest of you. I know it happens to me, though. Some weird and/or goofy news story will pop up and the world and I will be like, “Huh, that’s weird and/or goofy,” and then a few days will go by and the world will move on to something else and I just will not. I’ll keep grinding away at all of it, not by choice. My brain won’t let it go. I’ll be ready to fall asleep and then whoosh in it flies and I’m up for another hour thinking about it. Examples include: Liam Gallagher claiming to own 2,000 tambourines; Barbra Streisand getting her dog cloned and writing an essay about it in the New York Times; and, most recently, The Rock going on Instagram and telling the world he ripped his mansion’s front gate off with his bare hands in a fit of power-outage-induced rage.

Context will help. Here is the post in question, complete with a picture of the mangled metal and busted brick foundation.

And here is his caption in blockquote form, just so we’re all fully informed before we move on.

Not my finest hour , but a man’s gotta go to work.
We experienced a power outage due to severe storms, causing my front gate not to open.
I tried to override the hydraulic system to open the gates, which usually works when power goes out – but this time it wouldn’t.
Made some calls to see how fast I can get the gate tech on site, but I didn’t have 45min to wait.
By this time, I know I have hundreds of production crew members waiting for me to come to work so we can start our day.
So I did what I had to do.
I pushed, pulled and ripped the gate completely off myself.
Tore it out of the brick wall, severed the steel hydraulics and threw it on the grass.
My security team was able to meet the gate technician and welders about an hour later — and they were apparently, “in disbelief and equally scared”
Not my finest hour, but I had to go to work.
And I think I’m ready to be #blackadam
#ripgates

He posted this last Saturday, almost a full week ago. I have been thinking about it ever since. Not, like, constantly. I’ve thought about other things this week too, mostly sandwiches I’ve eaten or would like to eat, but I have definitely thought about at least once a day. Usually more. I’m sure it’s perfectly healthy.

Here’s the main question I have at this point, the one I’m about to investigate: Did The Rock really do this? Did he really rip his mansion’s front gate off with his bare hands in a fit of power-outage-induced rage? Let’s do a little Case For, Case Against.

THE CASE FOR

OCCAM’S RAZOR

If given two competing hypotheses for the same outcome, the one that requires the fewest assumptions is preferable. The Rock is a big, strong dude — so big and strong that people all over the world call him “The Rock” even though his name is Dwayne — who says he ripped his front gate off with his bare hands in a fit of rage. I mean, I can dig that. Especially when you consider two additional factors:

• The Rock has never given us a reason to question his integrity in the past
• Prior to this happening, if I had come up to you on the street on the street and said “The Rock yoinked the front gate of his mansion off with his bare hands in a fit of rage,” I imagine you’d just accept it as a thing that is probable enough to believe without argument

Also, he posted this video of the damage later to back it up.

Occam’s Razor. The simplest explanation is the one he’s given us.

I REALLY WANT IT TO BE TRUE

Close your eyes. Wait. Not now. Finish reading this next part first. Then close your eyes. And work up this image in your mind.

You are a very successful surgeon. You have worked hard your entire life: 80 hour weeks as a resident, hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt you’ve paid off, a booming practice that allowed you to purchase a mansion in an exclusive neighborhood. You wake up one morning — like any other morning, normal routine — and get dressed and eat a light breakfast and kiss your spouse and children goodbye for the day. (“I won’t be too late tonight,” you say.) You hop in your car — the luxury sports car you’ve dreamed about owning since you were a child — and back out of your driveway and start heading down your street. Your brain starts to drift a bit. You lose yourself in your music, with the top-down and the wind blowing. You follow the road around the bend and turn the volume up and HOLY SHIT THE ROCK IS RIPPING THE GATE TO HIS MANSION RIGHT OUT OF ITS BRICK FOUNDATIONS WITH HIS BARE HANDS.

Grunting, sweating, veins bursting out of his arms like a mountain range on a topographical map. The whole thing. Now picture the rest of that day, for you, the surgeon, after seeing that. There’s a non-zero chance it consumes you to the point you lose a patient on the operating table. I told you I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

OKAY, I DON’T HAVE A THIRD REASON, I JUST WANTED TO SAY HOW MUCH I ENJOY THE PICTURE AT THE TOP OF THIS SECTION

It’s a good picture.

This brings us to…

THE CASE AGAINST

THE INTERNET HAS BROKEN ME

Two problems here. The first is that years of pranksters and rascals and trolls playing tricks over the internet has conditioned my brain to smash the big red button that says “FAKE” whenever I see something that seems too cool or too perfect or that could possibly be used by some money-making entity to get me to spend my money in some way. Jimmy Kimmel has done this numerous times, as have Nathan Fielder and dozens of lesser imitators who want to exploit the gullibility of excitable people on the internet.

Which gets us to the second problem. In the first caption, at the very end, he mentions playing Black Adam in an upcoming movie, a true thing that is happening and is both good and fine. He includes the hashtag. There’s a simple, innocent explanation here, which is that The Rock is a relentless promoter and figured he could juice this a bit, a lemonade from lemons situation. But it also smells a little like viral marketing. This is not The Rock’s fault. This is the fault of the rest of the world. But it still resulted in my brain looking over at that “FAKE” button, just for a second.

IT SEEMS… IMPROBABLE?

Right? I don’t know. It’s a fuzzy line. Like, if your neighbor Carl said he did this, you’d be like “Shut up, Carl. And give me back my hedge trimmers.” (Freaking Carl.) And even after over a decade of watching The Rock do things in movies like, say, flex so hard that it bursts his recently broken arm right out of its cast, it still seems like… a lot?

Consider:

Why didn’t he just walk around the gate and call an Uber?

Why didn’t he have one of the many people waiting for him come pick him up?

Is The Rock revealing that he has, like, troubling anger issues?

Is The Rock okay?

The pandemic is stressing everyone out. I get it. If you need to talk about it, The Rock, please feel free to DM me.

TO BE HONEST, I DON’T HAVE A THIRD REASON FOR THIS ONE EITHER, I’M JUST REPEATING THE BIT FROM BEFORE

Something about this picture is the funniest thing in the world to me. I might be thinking about this for a week next. It’s probably the umbrella, though.

Anyway…

VERDICT

I am just going to go ahead and keep believing The Rock ripped the gate to his mansion out of its brick foundations with his bare hands in a fit of rage, in part because of all the reasons I laid out in the Case For section, and in part because I could really use this in my life right now. Like I said, everyone is stressed. Let me have this. Let me live in a world where The Rock is out here destroying his malfunctioning personal property like the Incredible Hulk. It’s nicer here.

Do not take this from me. Not yet, at least. I’m begging you.

George Clooney hasn’t starred in a movie since 2016 (remember Money Monster? Me neither), but it’s not as if the Oscar winner has been off the radar the past four years. He’s just been more focused on his tequila company than being in major motion pictures. Clooney’s star-less streak ends, however, with Netflix’s The Midnight Sky, where he plays a scientist who’s trying to stop a group of astronauts (including Felicity Jones and Kyle Chandler) from returning home. Clooney also directed the film, but he’s ready to be on-screen again, and for people to be surprised at what they see.

“I don’t look so good,” he told Vanity Fair. “I’m not even 60 yet, but the character is 70. Unfortunately, I’m looking closer to that. I’ve always looked a little older, but now I really look like I am. I’d say I look like my father, but my father looks better than me.”

Clooney shaved for the role “and I tried to do it kind of badly so that it looked patchy. And I’ve got some pretty funky scars on my head in general,” he said. “Since [his character, Augustine] is clearly dying of something that he has to have a transfusion for, which is usually some form of cancer, it was important to me to add some elements so that I didn’t look like I look normally.” It must be tough going from being the most handsome man on the planet to merely one of the most handsome men on the planet (or in this case, space):

“There was a stillness to the character that I really liked. You need to be of a certain age for it to actually hurt. When you’re younger, we don’t feel like we’ve had enough life experiences for things like this to actually hurt you in your chest… It felt like I was the right age, and it was a good time for me to move into this kind of role.”

He’s not a Soggy Bottom Boy — he’s a Soggy Bottom Old Man. The Midnight Sky, which was written by Mark L. Smith (The Revenant), premieres on Netflix in December.

(Via Vanity Fair)

Tory Lanez has been the subject of much criticism in recent months (to put it lightly) since he was accused of shooting Megan Thee Stallion. The rapper generated more attention yesterday when he declared that he would break his silence on the situation before releasing a new project, Daystar.

On Daystar, Lanez tells his side of the story and claims that Meg is actually framing him for the shooting. He also took the opportunity to call out some of his detractors, including Kehlani and Kaash Paige.

With the project, Lanez has given music fans a lot to digest. It’s been hours since the release of Daystar, so folks have had plenty of time to share reactions to it on Twitter, and indeed they have.

Some people called out what they see as hypocrisy of Lanez fans hyping up the project while also demanding justice for Breonna Taylor, with one user summarizing, “How are y’all going to sit here and be activist for Breonna Taylor but bumping Tory Lanez new album ???”

There was also criticism for fans who were convinced by Lanez’s arguments, with one Twitter user writing, “So y’all wouldnt believe Megan and kept asking her to post proof but Tory dumbass make a single lyrics and y’all already believe him?”

People who decided to listen to Lanez’s new project also caught some heat for supporting the rapper:

Check out some other reactions below.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The late-night shows on Thursday were dominated by Donald Trump refusing to commit to a peaceful transition of power if he loses the election to Joe Biden. “We’re going to have to see what happens,” the president told a reporter this week. On The Daily Show, host Trevor Noah joked that even if Biden wins, “they’re going to find Trump in the White House basement someday living that Parasite life.” Glory to the holy Trump Steaks.

After a quick rundown of the “fun stories” that he doesn’t have time to cover because of Trump, including Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu bringing his dirty laundry to the White House because “the clothes are cleaned for the prime minister free of charge by the U.S. staff,” Noah got to the week’s top story: “the world’s newest dictatorship.”

“Holy sh*t. I never thought I would see the day where an American president would threaten not to accept an election defeat. Because let’s be honest, this is something you hear about in a random country where America steps in to enforce democracy,” Noah said about Trump acting like Paul Rudd in Wet Hot. “I feel like now it’s only fair that those countries should send peacekeepers to the U.S. ‘Well, well, well. Refusing to give up power, rampant disease, and high unemployment. Who’s the sh*thole now, huh?’”

Noah also pitched a not-so-peaceful transition of power:

“Can you imagine how fun it would be if the incoming president always had to fistfight the outgoing president? Yeah? Biden and Trump are gonna be at the White House recreating the geriatric fights from The Irishman, while Kamala Harris has Mike Pence in a head lock?”

You can watch the entire segment above.

Netflix is keeping things upbeat this week before we head into spooky October. In doing so, the streaming service has dropped a high-profile film and appealing series — a movie with a couple of A-listers and a comedy show about a former sneakerhead — to keep the binging coming. Two Netflix darlings, Millie Bobbie Brown and Henry Cavill, along with the dashing Sam Claflin star in Enola Holmes, and a stay-at-home dad’s still proving that he’s got what it takes to hustle with both style and street smarts.

Here’s everything coming to (and leaving) Netflix this week of September 25.

Enola Holmes (Netflix film streaming 9/23)

Netflix loves Stranger Things‘ Millie Bobby Brown, who’s now making her turn as Sherlock Holmes’ younger sister Enola Holmes. As a bonus, The Witcher‘s Henry Cavill is onboard to play Sherlock with Sam Claflin stepping in as Mycroft Holmes, and between the two of them, they have the fancy hair and twirling-of-mustaches quotient covered. Fleabag director Harry Bradbeer should make this an even more interesting affair, especially given the story: after Enola’s mother (Helena Bonham Carter) disappears without a trace on her daughter’s sixteenth birthday. Sherlock and Mycroft determine to ship the teen off to finishing school, where she’d become a “proper” lady. She’s not having it and strikes out on her own find her mother.

Sneakerheads (Netflix series streaming 9/25)

An ex-sneakerhead and stay-at-home dad, Devin, jumps back into the game and realizes that he’s got to turn his hustle around after losing five G’s in a get-rich-quick scheme. Before his wife finds out what’s amiss, Devin must go on the hunt for the holy grail of hard-to-find shoes, “Zeroes,” along with a ragtag gathering of fellow shoe addicts. The series stars Allen Maldonado, Andrew Bachelor, Jearnest Corchado, Matthew Josten, Yaani King Mondschein, Justin Lee, and Aja Evans.

Here’s a full list of what’s been added in the last week:

Avail. 9/22/20
Chico Bon Bon: Monkey with a Tool Belt: Season 3
Jack Whitehall: Travels with My Father: Season 4
Kiss the Ground
The Playbook
Mighty Express

Avail. 9/23
Enola Holmes

Avail. 9/24
The Chef Show: Season 2
Real Steel

Avail. 9/25
A Perfect Crime
Country-Ish
Nasty C
The School Nurse Files
Sneakerheads

Avail. 9/26
The Good Place: Season 4

Avail. 9/27
Bad Teacher
Van Helsing: Season 4

Avail. 9/28
Whose Vote Counts, Explained

Avail. 9/29
Michelle Buteau: Welcome to Buteaupia
Welcome to Sudden Death

And here’s what’s leaving next week, so it’s your last chance:

Leaving 9/22
20 Feet From Stardom

Leaving 9/26
The Grandmaster

Leaving 9/28
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Leaving 9/30
2012
40 Days and 40 Nights
A Knight’s Tale
Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke
Dear John
Despicable Me
Donnie Brasco
Frances Ha
House of the Witch
Inside Man
Insidious
Jurassic Park
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park III
Menace II Society
Million Dollar Baby
Mortal Kombat
Mud
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Schindler’s List
Seabiscuit
Sinister
Starship Troopers
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Terminator Salvation
The Devil’s Advocate
The Social Network
Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Tory Lanez hasn’t exactly been the most beloved person in hip-hop since he allegedly shot Megan Thee Stallion. He drew even more ire yesterday when he promised to break his silence at midnight ET. It turns out his version of breaking his silence was a new project, Daystar, on which he addresses the Meg situation.

On opening track “Money Over Fallouts,” he accused Meg of framing him, and on the same song, he also called out some of his detractors. Specifically, he addressed Kehlani and Kaash Paige, who have publicly spoken out about him. He rapped, “I got nothin’ but love to spread, but n****s hate me / Hurt my heart to see them Twitter fingers come from Kehlani’s and Kaash Paige’s.”

In July, Paige responded to an Akademiks tweet about the Lanez situation, writing, “I’ve worked with Tory an he for sure doesn’t respect women but okay lol , can’t say I was there an know what happened but I know for a fact the hidden agendas.”

Meanwhile, Kehlani removed a Lanez verse from her deluxe album and explained why she did so, saying, “As someone with a large platform, as someone that people look up to, as a woman that makes other women feel safe and empowered, people were asking me, ‘Are you gonna keep somebody on it who doesn’t necessarily make us feel safe or empowered as a woman?’ And not only that but, you know, this situation was involving someone that I [am] extremely close to, so I just felt like on some loyal sh*t, and on some do the right thing, you have to be responsible. Absolutely I’m changing up the record.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Lana Del Rey’s 2020 has been laced with hills and valleys to say the least. Switching lanes and taking a stab at poetry, Del Rey debuted her first poetry book Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass at the end of July by releasing its audio version, while promising to release its physical version at the end of the September. This arrived after she faced criticism for a post she shared about her chart-topping peers. Heading back to her music lane for a new release as she continues work on her upcoming album, Chemtrails Over The Country Club, Lana Del Rey supplies a remix to Matt Maeson’s “Hallucinogenics.”

The song begins with a quick flash by Del Rey and her gentle croon before Maeson’s low-octave voice appears alongside Del Rey’s during the song’s first verse. Taking a turn for the chorus, the duo’s vocals roar as they send proclamations of “tripping on hallucinogenics” into the skies. Pushed by the breezy strings of a guitar on the track’s production, the duo close out the track and bring it to a smooth and comforting end.

The track arrives after Lana Del Rey gave an update on her upcoming Chemtrails Over The Country Club, one she delivered from the set of the music video for the album’s title track. She also revealed that one of the album’s singles is titled “Let Me Love You Like A Woman.”

Listen to Lana Del Rey’s “Hallucinogenics” remix above.

Matt Maeson is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group