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Stephen Colbert Compared Trump To Michael Jordan But Not In A Flattering Way

Stephen Colbert looked positively giddy during Tuesday’s episode of The Late Show. You would, too, if you got to say “massive dumps” (with a sh*t-eating grin… pun intended?) on network television. Colbert covered the president’s lie-filled interview with his future ex-wife, Maria Bartiromo, as well as Attorney General William Barr confirming what everyone but Trump and his cronies already knew, that “to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome” in the presidential election. “Fraud on a scale, also known as the president’s annual physical,” the host quipped.

Trump “has failed to stop the vote certification in all six states where he contested his defeat,” including Arizona and Wisconsin, Colbert continued. “So that’s 0 and six in the certifications and 0 and three in recounts, and he hasn’t won a single fraud case. He’s undefeated at losing. He is the Michael Jordan of playing baseball.” Also like Jordan, Trump has been known to down an entire pizza in one sitting. Colbert compared the president to “a guy at a custody hearing saying, ‘Your honor, my wife has made it seem like I’m a delinquent father and a terrible gambler, but how would she know any of that? I’m always at the casino.’” Not that Trump would anything about casinos and being a bad dad.

You can watch The Late Show clip above.

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A Posthumous Juice WRLD Single With Benny Blanco Drops On What Would Have Been His 22nd Birthday

It has been nearly a year since Juice WRLD unexpectedly passed and left a him-shaped hole in the music world. He seems to have left plenty of music behind, though, as he has popped up on songs here and there over the past year. Today (December 2) would have been his 22nd birthday, and to mark the occasion, a collaboration with Benny Blanco, “Real Sh*t,” has been released.

Blanco also shared a lengthy Instagram post reflecting on recording the song and his relationship with Juice, writing, “my friend played me a song like 2 or 3 years ago… i looked at him and said it was one of the best songs i had ever heard… my friend didnt even know the artists name… said it was juice or something… i searched and searched on instagram until i came across juice’s page… he had 9k followers at the time… i dmed him and said we had to work… he said he was coming to la in a week and we could go in then… i booked us a studio… he didnt even have a record deal… labels were coming to the session all night trying to butter him up and offer him anything he wanted… he didn’t give a f*ck… he just wanted to make music… we made like 6 songs the first night… one of them being ‘roses’… the first song we ever recorded tho was ‘real sh*t’… it was the first time i saw his magic… the whole room dropped their jaws and watched him in awe… we knew we were in the room with a man who was going to change music forever… he went in the booth and recorded a song top to bottom in one take… then he did it 3 more times and said pick the best one… and they were all perfect songs… he was an absolute genius to say the least but above all he was one of the kindest and most considerate people i have ever met… he was my friend… happy birthday juice… we miss u…”

Fans have had plenty of love for Juice WRLD in 2020, as he was the most-streamed US artist of the year on Spotify.

Listen to “Real Sh*t” above.

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Mariah Carey Put Her Own Memoir At The Top Of Her 2020 Reading List

There’s extra — then there’s Mariah Carey extra.

At this point in her career, MC knows how much her fans appreciate that she puts herself first, and frankly, it’s refreshing to see a woman have her own back to the extent Mariah does. That trend continues today, as Carey put together her 2020 reading list for PopSugar. Lots of celebrities put together these kinds of book lists for fans to see what they’ve been checking out in a given year, and potentially grab books for holiday gifts, but few of them put their own memoirs front and center on these guides.

Mariah Carey does, though, and The Meaning Of Mariah Carey, her memoir with Michaela Angela Davis, is the first thing she recommends. I also love that this implies Mariah has been reading her own book that she wrote about her own life. I’m sure it’s fascinating, though! Carey has had quite the interesting life, but the act of putting it right at the top is just such a funny twist, or a shameless plug, as PopSugar dubs it. But who doesn’t love a shameless plug? Especially in a year when artists can’t be out performing, book sales might be the ticket to Mariah coming out on top in 2020.

Some of her other reading suggestions include Untamed by Glennon Doyle and The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett. Check out the full list here.

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If Rihanna And ASAP Rocky Are Really Dating, Fans Think Their Kids Would Be Literally Perfect

Yesterday the news broke that after months of rumors – and plenty of fans shipping them since that flirty “Fashion Killa” video back in 2013 — ASAP Rocky and Rihanna are reportedly dating. At least, according to Page Six and People, who tend to know when these rumors are actually true.

RiRi officially split from billionaire boyfriend Hassan Jameel at the beginning of this year, and when Rocky appeared in her Fenty Skin campaign back in July, it might’ve been more than just a business deal. While Rihanna has been busy building her Fenty makeup and skincare empire of late, along with high-fashion collaborations and a lingerie line, neither her nor Rocky have released any new music in several years, her since Anti in 2016, and Rocky since Testing in 2018. But when fans heard the news of the fledgling couple, their minds didn’t go to music, but to babies.

Considering these two could both easily land on a list of the most beautiful people in the world, people couldn’t help but comment that their children would be equally gorgeous:

Personally, I’ll take a follow-up record from Rihanna before she starts in on family planning. Then again, knowing her, she’d probably be able to handle both at once. Let’s wait and see if an official confirmation of their relationship comes before planning any babies, ok? Remember what happened to Drake when he thought it was official?

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Justin Timberlake Purchased A Wheelchair-Accessible Van For A 17-Year-Old With Cerebral Palsy

Justin Timberlake recently came through for a family in his home state of Tennesse this past Thanksgiving. The family of 17-year-old Jake Stitt from Morristown, Tennessee — who is known in his hometown for sitting outside in his wheelchair with a sign that says, “Honk if you’re happy” — was in need of a wheelchair-accessible van for their son who suffers from cerebral palsy. Jake’s father, Tim Stitt, is a primary caregiver who recently began to lose function in his hands after repeatedly lifting his son in and out of their van. After hearing of their story, actor Michael Abbott Jr. launched a $35,000 fundraiser to help get the Stitt family the wheelchair-accessible van they needed.

“Jake Stitt is 17 years old. He loves sports, the outdoors & maintains a busy social life,” Abbott said in a tweet. “His father is desperate for a handicapped accessible van in order for Jake to keep living at home.” Unfortunately, the Tennessee family fell short of their $35,000 goal, but Timberlake was so moved by the story that he went ahead and purchased the van for the Stitt’s prior to Thanksgiving. During a zoom call with Jake and Tim, Timberlake shared his motivation for helping them out.

“I heard there was a goal to try to get this van before Thanksgiving. I heard your story and saw a little news clip about it and I was just so moved,” the singer said. “I want you guys to have a great holiday, and you inspire me Jake.”

You can watch a clip from Timberlake’s zoom call with the Stitts above.

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Kirk Herbstreit Apologized After Saying Michigan Could ‘Wave The White Flag’ To Avoid Ohio State

In the midst of a bizarre college football season, some conferences are scrambling to determine which programs will be eligible for championship games, with established minimums needing to be met. The most prominent example is Ohio State in the Big Ten, with the Buckeyes now facing a situation in which any cancellation would keep them from reaching the conference’s six-game threshold for inclusion and, by proxy, might keep one of the best teams in the country from winning its conference and putting itself in the best position for the College Football Playoff.

With that as the backdrop, famous Ohio State alum and ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit made controversial comments on ESPN’s air on Tuesday, saying that he thinks “Michigan waves the white flag” and “potentially avoids playing Ohio State.”

As noted above, Michigan missing the game would keep Ohio State out of the Big Ten title game but, in short, Herbstreit didn’t present any evidence for his claim. That drew the ire of many, not just in Big Ten circles, and Herbstreit issued a lengthy apology within a short period of time.

Herbstreit said he had “no business at all saying that” and “no evidence of that,” while also noting that it was “completely unfair” to Michigan. To his credit, Herbstreit didn’t hold back in accepting blame for what he said, though he did indicate that tries to “remain positive and upbeat, and I think sometimes we all have our breaking points.”

While the connection between Herbstreit and Ohio State undoubtedly raised the profile of this story in a hurry, Herbstreit is arguably the most famous analyst in the sport. As such, this kind of sentiment would draw attention under any circumstances and, in putting the apology out, he likely knew that and realized the misstep. Still, this is a talking point that will percolate across the college football landscape, and the response will be interesting on all sides in the coming days.

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Royce Da 5’9″ Claims Atlantic Blocked Cordae From Appearing On ‘The Allegory’

Royce Da 5’9″ became a Grammy nominee last week when The Allegory, the Detroit rapper’s eighth album, earned a spot in the Best Rap Album category. This isn’t the first time he’s been nominated, having received one at the 2010 awards for his appearance on Eminem’s Recovery. But the version of the album that got released is not exactly the one he wanted. In a recent interview with PSA Hip-Hop’s Threeletterman3, Royce revealed that Cordae was supposed to appear on it but the young rapper’s label, Atlantic Records, blocked him from doing it.

“[Vince Staples] sent his verse last day because originally YBN Cordae was there in that spot,” Royce said. “Atlantic would not clear YBN Cordae, so I had to take him off. They said they wanted to ‘keep him young.’ These labels, they are so caught up young, young, young, young.” He was a bit frustrated by the label’s action, however, and he also pointed out that it put Cordae in a bad position as well.

“Obviously the kid wanted to do it, otherwise, he wouldn’t have done it! So why put him in that position?” he said. “And now the album is nominated for Grammy. You don’t think that in retrospect was a bad move from them?”

Royce’s The Allegory joins D. Smoke’s Black Habits, Freddie Gibbs and The Alchemist’s Alfredo, Nas’ King Disease, and Jay Electronica’s A Written Testimony as the other nominees in the Best Rap Album category.

You can watch the interview in the video above. Royce’s remarks on Cordae come around the 27-minute mark.

Cordae is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Joakim Noah Is ‘Likely Headed Toward Retirement’ After Being Waived By The Clippers

Joakim Noah wasn’t a centerpiece of the 2019-20 L.A. Clippers, but the veteran big man provided depth and leadership for a title contender as recently as just a few months ago. However, Noah’s lengthy NBA career could be over, as ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reports that 35-year-old was waived by the Clippers and is “likely headed toward retirement” as a result.

Noah was the No. 9 pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, navigating a 13-year career that included two All-Star appearances, three All-Defense selections, and the 2013-14 NBA Defensive Player of the Year award.

“What an illustrious career for Joakim, starting with two national titles at the University of Florida, to becoming an NBA Defensive Player of the Year and ultimately evolving into one of the most passionate, spirited players to ever come through our sport,” Duffy shared with ESPN. “It’s been my honor to represent Joakim through his journey.”

During a five-year peak from 2009-10 through 2013-14 with the Chicago Bulls, Noah averaged 11.5 points, 10.8 rebounds, 3.4 assists and 1.6 blocks per game, providing useful offensive contributions and an elite-level defense. In fact, he earned an All-NBA selection in 2013-14, peaking as an offensive player in averaging 12.6 points, 11.3 rebounds and a whopping 5.4 assists per game from the center position. He was also the 2014 NBA Defensive Player of the Year and a first-team All-NBA selection.

Though his career slowed considerably after Noah signed with the New York Knicks prior to the 2016-17 season, he remained well-regarded and is a highly decorated college player, dominating alongside Al Horford and Corey Brewer at Florida.

It is highly unfortunate that Noah’s prime was cut short by injury, and he also suffered an Achilles injury in 2019 that limited him to just five regular season games and two playoff games during his final NBA season. Still, Noah’s unique blend of defense and style will be remembered well, and he enjoyed a fantastic professional career if this is indeed the end of the line.

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Trump Is Reportedly Seeking Pardons For His Three Oldest Children And Jared Kushner, And People Find It All Very Fishy

Outgoing president Donald J. Trump is in the middle of a pardon frenzy. He’s already dolled one out to convicted former staffer Michael Flynn. Joe Exotic may be next. It’s claimed Rudy Giuliani has asked for a pre-emptive one, though it’s not clear what, specifically, he’s done to break the law. (Though one can imagine.) To add to the swelling pile, The New York Times is reporting that Trump is also looking at extending pardons to his three eldest children, as well as son-in-law Jared Kushner. What for, you may ask? Good question!

According to the Times, Trump concern is more vague. They report that the president “has told others that he is concerned that a Biden Justice Department might seek retribution against the president by targeting the oldest three of his five children — Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump and Ivanka Trump — as well as Ms. Trump’s husband, Jared Kushner, a White House senior adviser.” (Rest easy, Tiffany and Barron.)

That said, there are specific actions for which they could be charged. As per the Times:

Donald Trump Jr. had been under investigation by Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel, for contacts that the younger Mr. Trump had had with Russians offering damaging information on Hillary Clinton during the 2016 campaign, but he was never charged. Mr. Kushner provided false information to federal authorities about his contacts with foreigners for his security clearance, but was given one anyway by the president.

As for Eric and Ivanka, there aren’t specific known crimes they may have committed, though the latter is under investigation by the Manhattan D.A. over tax write-offs on millions of dollars in consulting fees that may have gone her way.

Still, social media found it a touch fishy to hear about potential pardons for people who are supposed to be innocent.

There were jokes, too.

And contrasts with the previous White House family.

And some weren’t so shocked.

Tuesday was a pretty pardon-heavy day. On top of all this, the Department of Justice — which, under William Barr, had long acted as Trump’s personal legal counsel — reportedly began an investigation into one as-yet-unrevealed allegedly taking part in a bribery-for-pardon scheme. That time Trump pardoned an actual turkey seems like a long time ago.

(Via NYT)

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Report: LeBron Vs. Luka And A Kyrie Return To Boston Highlight The 2020 Christmas Day Slate

The 2020-21 NBA season begins on Dec. 22 and, after the shortest offseason on record, there is a frenzied feel to the proceedings. There is always majesty and hype surrounding the league’s slate of Christmas Day games and, on Tuesday evening, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski broke the news of the five matchups that basketball fans will be able to observe on Dec. 25.

The headliner of the day may be the matchup between Luka Doncic and LeBron James in the 8:00 p.m. primetime window, as the reigning champion Lakers take on an up-and-coming Mavericks team. Elsewhere, Kyrie Irving will return to Boston as a headlining member of the Brooklyn Nets, and he will be joined by Kevin Durant, who projects to be healthy after missing the entire 2019-20 season.

To start the day, Zion Williamson leads the Pelicans against the reigning Eastern Conference champion Miami Heat and, as the NBA established in its pre-bubble hype, Williamson is a significant draw for the league. The league will be banking on the Warriors to bounce back from an ugly 2019-20 season, with Steph Curry and Draymond Green now joined by Kelly Oubre and others as they face Giannis Antetokounmpo and the new-look Bucks.

In the night cap, the Clippers and Nuggets do battle in a rematch of the already infamous 3-1 collapse from the 2020 NBA Playoffs. L.A. will undoubtedly have a measure of revenge on their minds, while Denver is a tremendous squad that should be ready to give the Clippers another fight behind Nikola Jokic.

As always, there will be fan bases decrying the absence of their team on the day of the league’s No. 1 regular season showcase, and a few of them may even have some legs to stand on. However, the NBA put together five highly intriguing matchups, and Christmas should be a smorgasbord for die-hards with plenty to appeal to casual observers.