Do you want Samuel L. Jackson to swear at you? Sure, we all do. And that’s exactly what Alexa users are getting more of in a new upgrade to the app that swaps out Alexa’s voice for the legendary Pulp Fiction actor.
After releasing the feature a year ago, Amazon quickly learned that when people downloaded Jackson to their device, they wanted to be cussed out by the actor on the regular. While the app offered the ability to turn off explicit phrases, over 74% of users not only left the profanity on, but overwhelmingly demanded more cussing from Marvel’s Nick Fury. On top of already responding, “What the hell do you even want me to say?” when users ask Jackson to speak them, the upgrade will reportedly add over 30,000 new phrases and five times the profanity. There’ll be no survivors. Via Variety:
As part of Jackson’s new repertoire on Alexa, if you ask “Hey Samuel, roast me” you will get responses including “Why the f— do you want to be roasted? You really think you can handle that?” and “I’m just gonna ignore that request, because if I really roast you, your sorry ass will be destroyed on impact.”
Damn, Samuel L. Jackson the App.
As for how Jackson has time to record so many phrases, this next part is either extremely interesting from a technological standpoint or absolutely terrifying if you think about the implications of teaching robots how to talk like Samuel L. Jackson:
Note that Jackson didn’t need to sit in recording studio to speak the thousands of new phrases for Alexa. His virtual voice is synthesized using Amazon’s Neural Text-to-Speech technology, which replicates speech patterns after being “trained” by a set of a person’s voice recordings.
Wonderful news on the chain food and beverage front this week. First, Taco Bell announced that they’ll be selling their own wine. “Jalapeño Noir” is a Pinot Noir (that’s red wine, grandma) with “notes of wild strawberry, cherry, and beetroot,” which will be “released in Canada to help promote Taco Bell’s new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa.”
Wait, Canada only?! Damn, first universal healthcare and now this. We need a presidential candidate who promises to close the chalupa gap. The chalupa, by the way, “features six-month aged cheddar cheese toasted right onto the chalupa shell,” as well as all the regular Taco Bell stuff inside, like Space Beef and the Colonel’s magic blend of Mex-I-can spices (yes, I made that last part up).
Elsewhere, Mountain Dew has teamed up with Red Lobster for a specially-branded “Dew ‘Garita,” which sounds like a nickname Doogie Howser got during med school hazing but is actually a branded margarita-adjacent cocktail made with Mountain Dew. It’s meant to pair with Red Lobster’s famous Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Seems like a weird pairing — considering one allegedly comes from the mountains and the other from the bay. Hillbillies and lobstermen dining together? Am I the only one who gives a shit about geographical consistency? Still, better than a Duggar-ita.
Finally, rounding out the rule of three, PepsiCo has announced plans to launch a new drink to aid sleep. Driftwell “is meant to help consumers relax and unwind before bed,” and is being described as an “enhanced water drink.” It contains “200 milligrams of L-theanine and 10% of the daily value of magnesium.” Which, I’m being told, are “what plants crave.”
Driftwell will be available nationwide starting in December. It contains no booze, which seems pointless, but L-theanine is an amino acid found in certain teas and mushrooms, which “a few studies have suggested can improve sleep quality and can help reduce the physical symptoms of stress.”
Ah, but what if my main symptom of stress is drinking Pepsi?
As astute readers may note, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and Taco Bell are all part of PepsiCo and/or Yum Brands, which has a lifetime contract with its original parent company, PepsiCo, so it may be that this is all part of some coordinated stunt-marketing effort. Probably spearheaded by some guy named Chad Presswick, the world’s raddest product consultant.
All of which brings us to… a ranking of drinks I have not tried yet.
Here’s how I stack them:
1) Jalapeño Noir
It’s red wine. I don’t care if you pair it with a Chalupa or a chicken salad, it’s fine by me. Plus I like the name “Jalapeño Noir.” It sounds like a movie genre Robert Rodriguez invented.
2) Dew ‘Garita
Being that I wasn’t born in Appalachia and have never worked as a systems engineer, I consider Mountain Dew one of the fouler liquids on the planet. That being said, it can’t be that much worse than Triple Sec. The Mountain Dew Cheddar Bay Margarita sounds like a Kamikaze shot in a glass. And as long as I’m at a Red Lobster already, what the hell, might as well give it a whirl.
3) Sleepytime Pepsi
Sorry, Driftwell, Pepsi is just not something I traditionally associate with stress relief. Though I do appreciate the thought process behind trying to apply “the choice of a new generation” toward the generation of Xanax rappers with face tattoos. “Hey… you kids like… relaxing… right?”
Vince Mancini is onTwitter. You can access his archive of reviewshere.
Four Roses/Blanton’s/Garrison Brothers/Getty/Uproxx
If you’ve ever perused the whiskey aisles at your local liquor store, you’ve probably run across the words “single barrel.” If you’re a whiskey novice, you might not understand what that means. Or maybe you assume it’s marketing gibberish. In short, “single barrel” (also called single cask) whiskeys come from one specific aging barrel. It also often comes with a label touting the barrel number and various other pieces of bottling and production information. Non-single barrel whiskeys, on the other hand, are made by blending multiple barrels, potentially from different years and mash bills.
It’s really that simple. One barrel as opposed to various barrels.
This form of whiskey has grown exceedingly popular in recent years, with many notable brands releasing their own offerings. This includes the likes of The Balvenie, Eagle Rare, and Michter’s. Since we’re all about getting tips from the professionals, we decided to ask our favorite bartenders to tell us the best single barrel whiskeys to drink this fall.
Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel Select. Approachable upgrade that carries a smooth caramel note. Even non- experienced drinkers would be able to appreciate and recognize the difference between the normal Jack Daniel’s and the Single Barrel Select.
Knob Creek Single Barrel Bourbon has a rich, sweet, and woody full body, with hints of fruity tastes. It’s great neat or on the rocks, or even in an old fashioned.
Garrison Brothers Single Barrel. Because they focus on the corn harvest including varietal and year, every single barrel is very different from the next. Corn whiskey has always interested me but the story and process of this distillery are worth a gander.
Russell’s Reserve is an original single barrel whiskey and happens to be one of my all-time favorites. It is a spectacular whiskey and for that reason, it became a victim of its own fame. So, if you are able to find it in the store, make sure you grab a bottle before someone else does.
1792 Single Barrel Bourbon
Crystal Chasse, beverage director at Talk Story Rooftop in Brooklyn, New York
1792 Single Barrel always has a place in my bar. It’s 98.6 proof, so it packs a punch, but the pear/plum and maple notes make this whiskey perfect to enjoy neat with a drop of water or over a large cube, which will really get the aromatics going.
Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon
Andy Printy, beverage director at Chao Baan in St. Louis
Four Roses Single Barrel is my all-time favorite. Comes in at 100 pf and doesn’t disappoint or go overboard in the heat department. The front is a bit acidic but opens up into vanilla and black pepper before finishing with lots of barrel and a touch of dark fruit.
WhistlePig 15 Year Single Barrel Rye
Brendan Bartley, head bartender and beverage director at Bathtub Gin in New York City
Best single barrel whiskey for fall for me is Whistlepig 15 Year Single Barrel Rye Whiskey. It’s barreled in Vermont oak, it’s a real small batch, and released at cask strength. There isn’t much about that sentence I don’t like. For me, this is a fall whiskey — because most whiskey that have that deep barrel finishing notes usually have baking spice at the forefront. Here, there’s a more savory note to it.
It also has those delicious chocolate and cinnamon notes, but the salty, savory flavor really adds something for me.
Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon
Max Stampa-Brown, beverage director at Borrachito in New York City
Blanton’s Single Barrel. It might be predictable, but this is the first whiskey I ever had that really made me fall in love with the stuff. Huge toffee flavors, almost like a salted pretzel covered in caramel.
The first time my dad poured this up for me he looked me dead in the eyes while we raised a glass and slowly said, “Take. Your. Time”.
This might not be a sexy pick, and certainly, there are some cool high-end single barrel whiskeys that are special, but for me, Jim Beam Single Barrel is still a go-to. It’s perfect for cocktails, it’s great for sipping. The dark caramel and slightly spicy rye-like qualities are really delicious.
Writer’s Pick:
Evan Williams Single Barrel
Part of the appeal of Evan Williams Single Barrel is its price. At around $30 it’s hard to find a better value single barrel bourbon. It’s full of sweet cream, vanilla, and toasted caramel flavors and it’s perfectly suited for slow sipping over an ice cube.
Made in celebration of the 40th anniversary of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back aka the only Star Wars movie any of us really need to see (The Mandalorian excluded, definitely watch all of that), the Adidas Star Wars collection has run the gamut from subtle to insane. But it doesn’t get any stranger than this pair of Rivalry Hi sneakers made-up to look like Chewbacca.
Adidas
Don’t get us wrong, we definitely think the ‘ol “walking carpet” deserves his own sneaker, and the Rivalry Hi, with its tall silhouette, was a perfect choice, but there had to be a better way to get “Chewbacca” across to people than by covering this sneaker in faux-fur and draping a belt over the laces. Featuring a mixed upper of leather, suede, and faux fur in a mix of raw desert, mesa, and chalk-white colorways, the Chewbacca Rivalry Hi looks more like a collector’s item than an actual functional piece of footwear. Maybe that’s the point.
Rounding out the design is the aforementioned utility belt, a portrait of Chewbacca on the tongue, and a full-body depiction of the Wookie along the insole. While we wouldn’t wear these out on the street, on the playa at next year’s Burning Man? Consider it a done deal.
The Adidas Rivalry Hi Chewbacca is set to drop at the Adidas UK webstore on October 21st for a retail price of $155.
Kanye West has driven a lot of traffic to Twitter over the past few days for a number of reasons, whether he’s been using the site to post his record contracts or share a video of himself urinating on a Grammy Award. It looks like one of his recent tweets went too far, though, as the rapper appears to be temporarily banned from Twitter.
This afternoon, Kanye shared a screenshot of his phone contact entry for Forbes chief content officer Randall Lane, which displayed his phone number. He wrote with the image, “If any of my fans want to call a white supremacist … this is the editor of Forbes.”
Kanye fired off a few tweets after that before going quiet. CNN senior media reporter Oliver Darcy noted that Kanye is actually temporarily banned from the platform, writing, “Twitter is requiring @kanyewest to remove a tweet sharing private info about @RandallLane (which Twitter has hidden from public view for now) to regain access to his account. Until then, he cannot tweet.” Darcy then clarified that this is standard procedure for this sort of situation: “Also, FWIW, this is how Twitter always enforces its rules. The company hides tweets that break its rules from public view, and locks the account until the owner logs on and removes the tweet.”
Twitter is requiring @kanyewest to remove a tweet sharing private info about @RandallLane (which Twitter has hidden from public view for now) to regain access to his account. Until then, he cannot tweet.
Also, FWIW, this is how Twitter always enforces its rules. The company hides tweets that break its rules from public view, and locks the account until the owner logs on and removes the tweet.
As of press time, Kanye’s most recent tweet was posted at 1:39 p.m. ET, and it reads, “90% of the record contracts on the planet are still on a royalty A standard record deal is a trap to NEVER have you recoup, and there’s all these hidden costs like the ‘distribution fees’ many labels put in their contracts to make even more money off our work without even trying.”
Also as of press time, the offending tweet has not been deleted, but Twitter has hidden it and lists it as “no longer available.”
After appearing on Uproxx’s Most Anticipated Albums Of Fall 2020 list, R&B duo They. have shared the next single from their upcoming mixtape, The Amanda Tape. “STCU” features Juicy J and a raunchy concept, stretching the usual tenderness of the genre to the clever but uninhibited language of social media.
“STCU” stands for “shooting the club up,” a modern euphemism for unprotected sex. Juicy is a perfect complement for the racy overtones of the song’s message, contributing 16 bars to one-night stand he meets in a club and has a risky rendezvous with. While the song’s messaging is questionable, the smooth groove and the duo’s cheeky phrasing make for a catchy song that could easily enter an R&B fan’s regular rotation.
They. consists of Dante Jones and Andrew “Drew Love” Neely. The pair debuted in 2015 with the Nü Religion EP and gained exposure through touring with Bryson Tiller the next year. In 2018, they toured with 6lack on his From East Atlanta with Love tour and released the Fireside EP featuring appearances from Gallant, Jeremih, Jessie Reyez, Ty Dolla Sign, Vic Mensa, and Wiz Khalifa. Their next project, The Amanda Tape, is due October 23 via Island Records and Avant Garden.
Bartees Strange has a debut album on the way, Live Forever, and his latest preview of it is a new video for “Kelly Rowland.” It’s a brief song, clocking in at under two minutes, but that’s all the time it needs to deliver smooth, aural comfort.
Strange tells Stereogum of the single, “‘Kelly Rowland’ is my peak hedonistic dream, if I had no rules. I was in Berlin, and I saw the most beautiful, talented, wealthy, amazing people, we partied all night and danced all night. And I was like, ‘I cannot believe people live every day like this.’ It’s this hyper-idealized vision of what I wish I could be, for a moment.”
The track actually samples Rowland and Nelly’s “Dilemma,” of which Strange wrote on Twitter, “Another song that will probably stick with me forever because I had the hugest crush on Kelly Rowland and I copied literally every stylistic move Nelly did as a high schooler. Band aid included.”
Another song that will probably stick with me forever because I had the hugest crush on Kelly Rowland and I copied literally every stylistic move Nelly did as a high schooler. Band aid included. https://t.co/oqwBQOPS8i
He also previously said of his music, “I’m often the only Black guy in the room when I’m playing in a band or working in a studio and I’ll be honest, I don’t think the engineer always knew what I wanted to capture, what I was trying to do or what I was referencing. I wanted a space where I could be in control of how it was gonna sound, and have people there to check me that I trust.”
Watch the “Kelly Rowland” video above. We also spoke with Strange in a recent Instagram Live interview, so check that out here.
Live Forever is out 10/2 via MemoryMusic. Pre-order it here.
Brian Posehn is a comic probably best known for his roles on The Big Bang Theory,The Sarah Silverman Program,Mr. Show, and Just Shoot Me. Currently, he’s headlining this weekend on RushTix, a virtual comedy club, on Saturday, September 19th at 10pm EST. His show, Brian Posehn Live: An Evening with Grandpa Metal, will allow fans to laugh and headbang with Brian and special guest Johnny Taylor as the show streams live. Tickets for the show are available here.
Brian was kind enough to take a few minutes from his busy schedule recently to take part in our twenty questions questionnaire series.
1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?
An Old Fashioned. First I ask them what kind of whiskey they have like I know what I’m fucking talking about.
2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?
Tommy Lee/Obama
3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR or in your streaming queue?
Restaurant Impossible and The Boys.
4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?
Google Maps, Lego.com, eBay and the occasional trip to FarmersOnly.com.
6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?
Rush: “Subdivisions.”
7. If you could go back and give your 18-year-old self one piece of advice what would it be?
Don’t be a fucking idiot.
8. What’s the last thing you Googled?
“The Jerky Boys”
“Yojimbo”
“What is wrong with my balls?”
9. Dogs or cats?
Dogs
10. Best concert of your life was…?
The last Rush show at the Forum.
11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?
The Stand orThe Dirt
12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
Kept me working.
13. South Park or Family Guy?
What? Really? South Park.
14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?
No agenda, no plans at all. No pants. Watch movies, read, listen to music, play video games, fuck around on my guitar, have a whiskey, whack it, swim, be high.
15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?
So many. Anything with Kurt Russell.
16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?
I grew up with the SF and Oakland teams, classic teams, Stabler’s Raiders, Reggie Jackson’s A’s, Montana’s Niners. I still follow the Giants a little, love Metallica Day the most.
17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?
Either The International House of Pancakes or French Laundry, I forget.
18. The last movie you saw in a theater?
Sonic the Hedgehog. No shit.
19. Who was your first celebrity crush?
Daphne from Scooby Doo, Yvonne Craig (Batgirl), Lee Meriwether (Catwoman). I’m hella old.
20. What would you cook if Nic Cage were coming to your house for dinner?
As protests broke out over the police killing of George Floyd in late May 2020, Jimmy Fallon found himself mired in controversy after an old Saturday Night Live sketch was unearthed that showed him using blackface for an impression of Chris Rock. The Tonight Show host issued a public apology on Twitter for the offensive sketch.
“In 2000, while on SNL, I made a terrible decision to do an impersonation of Chris Rock while in blackface. There is no excuse for this,” Fallon tweeted. “I am very sorry for making this unquestionably offensive decision and thank all of you for holding me accountable.”
While the scandal seemingly vanished almost as quickly as it emerged, Rock has stayed quiet about the topic until now. In a new interview with the New York Times, the comedian has nothing but love for Fallon. “Hey, man, I’m friends with Jimmy. Jimmy’s a great guy. And he didn’t mean anything,” Rock said. “A lot of people want to say intention doesn’t matter, but it does. And I don’t think Jimmy Fallon intended to hurt me. And he didn’t.”
During the interview, Rock was also asked if he thinks people are taking things too far by trying to “expunge blackface from any movies or TV shows where it previously appeared.” Here’s his response:
If I say they are, then I’m the worst guy in the world. There’s literally one answer that ends my whole career. Blackface ain’t cool, OK? That’s my quote. Blackface is bad. Who needs it? It’s so sad, we live in a world now where you have to say, I am so against cancer. “I just assumed you liked cancer.” No, no, no, I am so against it. You have to state so many obvious things you’re against.
Over the past few days, Kanye West has been emphatic about his issues with the music industry, both in terms of his own contractual obligations and those of other artists more broadly. This afternoon, he continued to express his dissatisfaction with the industry, doing so with a symbolic display: He shared a video in which he appears to pee on a Grammy Award trophy.
The video was shot from a top-down point-of-view angle and it shows Kanye, or at least somebody wearing Yeezy Foam Runners, seemingly urinating into a toilet. In the toilet, however, sits a Grammy Award, presumably one of the 21 that Kanye has won over the course of his career. He captioned his post, “Trust me … I WONT STOP.” The video racked up 1.6 million views in its first 20 minutes.
The clip appears to be a form of protest against the music industry at large. Last night, he tweeted about how artists should own their own master recordings, writing in a series of tweets, “In the streaming world master ownership is everything… that is the bulk of the income … in COVID artist need our masters … it’s more important than ever before. […] The artist deserve to own our masters … artist are starving without tours … Ima go get our masters … for all artist … pray for me.”
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