DaBaby fights off a zombie invasion alongside Roddy Ricch in his action-packed “Rockstar” video. The latest single from DaBaby’s spring Blame It On Baby album, “Rockstar” flips the image of an archetypical rock star as a metaphorical reference to the rappers’ guns and drugs lifestyle. Reel Goats translates that imagery by literally loading them both down with full Call Of Duty-esque arsenals to battle the undead horde.
To be honest, it’s a little disappointing to find out that Roddy and DaBaby probably won’t make it through the zombie apocalypse — there are only like five head shots in the entire video. Come on, guys, you’ve seen Walking Dead, right? You have to aim for the noggin! The video is still pretty clever and there are even a few moments where it looks like our heroes might really meet their respective fates.
Of course, no self-respecting rapper or rockstar would ever let themselves get got — especially not in their own video. If LL Cool J can defeat those sharks and Busta Rhymes can beat up Michael Myers with martial arts moves, then it’s guaranteed DaBaby and Roddy Ricch will make it to the end of their own monster movie. With “Rockstar” hitting the top of the charts earlier this year and getting a “Black Lives Matter”-themed remix, DaBaby has certainly earned at least a little leeway when it comes to dodging the jaws of (film) death.
Watch the video for DaBaby’s “Rockstar” with Roddy Ricch above.
Roddy Ricch is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Ask any Texan, myself included, what they’re most proud of from their home state and you’re sure to get an emphatic answer. It might be the savory barbecue served up everywhere from fine dining restaurants to the roadside shacks, or the uncrowded, seemingly-endless national parks, or simply the beautiful, expansive, star-filled night sky. Or it might be the whiskey.
Young to the industry in relation to whiskeys distilled in Kentucky and Tennessee, the current wave of Texas distilling started in 2006 — when Garrison Brothers Distillery was granted a distiller’s permit for bourbon. That made it the first of its kind: the only legal bourbon distillery in Texas. Much progress has been made since then, with the Texas Whiskey Trail launching just last year, founded by 12 distilleries at the forefront of crafting Certified Texas Whiskey.
To speak generally, Texas whiskey, particularly bourbon, features nuances and notes that are distinctive to the region. Unlike whiskey-producing states to the east of Texas, with four easy-to-define seasons, Lone Star weather is generally dry and often hot. (It’s also variable — we like to say that you can experience four seasons in one week, in Texas. Sometimes all in one day.) The dry conditions combined with warm temperatures cause barrelled alcohol to expand. This helps the distillate reach deep into the pores of the wood, which is where many of the flavors are born and where the deep, dark hues originate. Of course, the climate varies based on where you are in the massive state. Houston (more humid) and Austin (drier) are just a few hours away from each other, but the unique weather in each city no doubt affects the taste of the whiskeys made there.
For years now, brands have loved slapping “Texas” on any product they market to denote large size or a certain rugged cool factor (yeah, we’re kind of a big deal). So the Texas Whiskey Association has specified the criteria that must be met for a whiskey to be a true Texas expression. These specifications can be summed up in one simple line: “Begin with grain from Texas or elsewhere, then complete every step of the whiskey-making process all within Texas.”
As an avid lover of both bourbon and my home state, I thought it was time run down a few Texas made bourbons that excite my palate. With Texas going right back on lockdown after a huge COVID spike, these bottles might be exactly what residents need to make it through a sweltering summer.
Founder Dan Garrison spent the early 2000s learning his craft from the crème de la crème of Kentucky’s distillers. Fast forward to 2010, Garrison Brothers introduced the first bourbon whiskey legally made in Texas. Every expression of the company’s bourbon is made from a sweet mash bill (as opposed to sour mash) and barrel-aged in the intense Texas climate. Every step, from cooking the mash to bottling, takes place on-site at the Garrison Brothers Distillery.
Tasting Notes:
This bourbon has long been one of my absolute favorites. This amber-colored expression has an oak, vanilla, and caramel palate with a welcoming, long finish. I associate whiskey with music, so this one has a Kacey Musgraves-style “Slow Burn” and its heavily oak-flavored profile arrives thanks to the scorching Texas heat.
The Balcones imprint gets an A+ in innovation. The team pairs classic techniques with experimentation and this pot still bourbon is a testament to their inimitable approach. Created from their signature roasted blue corn, the mash bill is also comprised of Texas wheat and rye, plus malted barley.
Tasting Notes:
I was drawn in by the subtle, sweet scent of honey and toasted oak. I was completely won over by the baking spices and spicy rye palate. The lingering finish is riddled with heat and sweet spices such as cinnamon.
Treaty Oak Ghost Hill Texas Bourbon
ABV: 47.5% Distillery: Treaty Oak Distilling, Dripping Springs, Texas Price:$50
The Whiskey:
The bourbon is made with local heirloom grains from Barton Springs Mill. This grain-to-glass goodness is mashed, fermented, distilled, barreled, aged two years, and bottled on-site at the Treaty Oak Distillery.
Tasting Notes:
The honey and caramel nose enraptured me, so it was definitely “love at first scent.” Full body, robust oak and spice flavors with medium heat. I added a few drops of water in the second sip that left me with a soft, vanilla finish.
Milam & Greene Triple Cask Bourbon
ABV: 47% Distillery: Ben Milam Whiskey Distillery, Blanco, Texas Price:$42
The Whiskey:
Milam & Greene is named for the collaboration between Texan entrepreneur Marsha Milam and whiskey expert and writer Heather Greene. The Milam & Greene Triple Cask is a batch of three straight bourbon whiskeys selected by Greene: a two-year-old premium Texas bourbon alongside three to four-year-old Tennessee whiskey, plus a ten to eleven-year-old Tennessee whiskey.
Tasting Notes:
This is the first bourbon I’ve tried with a floral aroma. It was a bit off-putting, but I’m glad I didn’t stop there. The creamy palate has hints of vanilla and honey, culminating with a spicy, lingering finish. I loved this as a slow sip neat, but I’m convinced it would make for an even better cocktail.
The bourbon is crafted with yellow dent Texas corn, Texas soft red winter wheat, 6-row distillers’ malt, and their own proprietary strain of yeast from Texas pecans, combined with pure Texas water. A pretty darn cool feature of the bourbon is the leather bottle caps unique to each bottle. A nice, cowboy-cool way to package the juice.
Tasting Notes:
There are so many good things going on with this bourbon. Pecan, banana, maple, and caramel aromas partnered with the light mouthfeel of vanilla, brown sugar, and spice all come together like a beautiful, melodic song. What it lacks in linger, it makes up for in a balanced finish of spice and subtle sweetness.
Using a variety of local and heirloom corns, Ironroot whiskeys are crafted with traditional French brandy techniques, particularly the process of elévage — whereby close attention is paid during the aging process. This ensures that the extreme Texas climate has a positive impact on the whiskey. The bourbon is crafted with four heirloom corns and rye.
Fun fact: This bourbon won this year’s “World’s Best Bourbon” at the World Whiskies Awards.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is a trifecta of deliciousness — consisting of peppery spice, maple, and vanilla. Baking spices and brown sugar gives this bourbon a subtle sweet palate. Packed with heat and a nice linger with a hint of oak.
Still Austin Whiskey Co. Two-Year Straight Bourbon Whiskey
ABV: 50% Distillery: Still Austin Whiskey Co., Austin, Texas Price:$40
The Whiskey:
I saved a newbie, but goodie, for last. This forthcoming bourbon has a mash bill consisting of 70 percent white corn, 25 percent rye, and 5 percent malted barley. Most bourbon is traditionally made with yellow corn, so the white corn is a unique touch. The bourbon is all distilled on a one-of-a-kind custom 42-foot column still designed by head distiller Mike Delevante and custom-built by Forsyths in Scotland.
Tasting Notes: Though this bourbon has only aged for two years, the palate tastes more mature. I’m hooked on the spice from the rye, alongside the hints of brown sugar, caramel, and toffee. The smooth, lasting lingering finish is bliss. Though I sipped this neat, it will definitely be used in a mint julep this summer.
A few weeks ago, the music industry participated in a “Blackout Tuesday” to reflect on ways to better serve the demographic that drives so much of the industry’s success. One of the resolutions that emerged was Republic Records’ announcement that the label would ban the use of the word “urban” for internal departments. That announcement was followed by a similar one from the The Grammys. The moves drew skeptical side-eyes from some observers, but were met with praise from many others.
Both reactions are understandable. The “urban” category had long been a point of contention within the industry, especially among Black members, due to its fraught history and indiscriminate use as a seeming replacement for “Black” music. In fact, the term was originally coined by radio programers to do just that. New York radio DJ Frankie Crocker coined the term “urban contemporary” in the 1970s as a euphemistic stand-in for what had been called “Black music” until then. The problem with either category to describe the phenomenon was summed up by Tyler The Creator after the 2020 Grammy Awards.
After winning the Grammy for Best Rap Album for his genre-defying 2019 album Igor, Tyler addressed the press, calling the award a backhanded compliment. “It sucks that we — and I mean guys who look like me — do anything genre-bending or anything, they also put it in a ‘rap’ or ‘urban’ category,” he said. “I don’t like that ‘urban’ word. It’s just a politically-correct way to say the N-word to me. When I hear that, I’m like, ‘Why can’t we be in pop?’ Half of me feels like the rap nomination was a backhanded compliment. Like, ‘Oh my little cousin wants to play the game. Let’s give him the unplugged controller so he can shut up and feel good about it.’”
More recently, Billie Eilish — 12 years younger than Tyler — called out the double standard in her own interview in GQ, pointing out that “if I wasn’t white I would probably be in ‘rap’. Why? They just judge from what you look like and what they know.” She talked about how such categorizations rarely reflect the style of the music, instead seemingly focusing on performers’ looks. “Just because I am a white teenage female I am pop,” she lamented. “Where am I pop? What part of my music sounds like pop?”
From their comments and others over the years, we can see the issues with the “urban” designation and its shortcomings in describing the depth and breadth of the artists that have fallen under its umbrella. In years past, the urban music departments at labels have siloed artists in styles ranging from hip-hop to reggae to house, demonstrating how useless the term is at describing the music itself as much as the artists. Think about the diversity in styles of hip-hop alone, where Jay-Z and Kendrick Lamar are hailed alongside Lil Uzi Vert and Travis Scott. Lil Nas X blew up with a country song. If just one genre that exists within the so-called urban silo can have so much disparity, what good does it do to house anything that can’t be easily defined under that one category?
Even R&B can range from the soulful acoustic style of John Legend to the gritty, hip-hop-influenced sound of Ty Dolla Sign. In November of 2019, Ari Lennox’s understandable distress at missing out on a Soul Train Award for Best Soul Artist sparked a debate about whether the winner, Lizzo, classifies as a soul artist. Many observers brushed off Lizzo as a pop star, but others pointed to the lineage of women who made the sort of brassy, gospel-inflected soul music that defined the genre earlier on its history, such as Aretha Franklin. They also rightfully pointed out how artists like Whitney Houston had been criticized the same way but later revered for their talents. Meanwhile, contemporary debates continue to rage every time The Weeknd releases an album — what style is his music? Doja Cat sings and raps with equal ease and aplomb. Is she R&B, hip-hop, pop? She clearly appeals to more than just Black audiences, so should she be marketed solely to them?
By defining all this diversity under one category, “urban,” the music industry effectively told the most influential artists that they would only ever be the color of their skin. Meanwhile, artists like Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and others can effectively dip in and out of Black music styles at a whim while maintaining their elite, pop star status. The shortcomings of urban music departments at labels like Republic can be seen in examples like the botched rollout for Tinashe’s second album Joyride. Unable to determine how to market the singer, RCA Records tried multiple approaches that failed to gain traction simply because of the ingrained belief that “urban” artists can’t be “pop,” no matter how catchy their singles are.
And that’s where I and others remain skeptical about these institutions simply renaming their “urban” categories, because it wasn’t just the term that was racist and reductive, it was the policies behind it. It’s true that audiences determine the popularity of artists at the end of the day, but audiences must be marketed to. They must know about a song, artist, or album before they are able to “vote” with their dollars. It remains to be seen whether Black artists will be better marketed to Top 40 radio stations or simply shunted onto R&B-specific playlists on Spotify and Tidal.
We still don’t know what level of commitment labels will have to dedicating the same resources to “rappers” who sing and “singers” who rap that they do to blonde-haired, blue-eyed, “All-American” girl-next-door types — or whether it’ll be business as usual, leaving artists who don’t fit in one particular box to struggle within the constraints of stereotypes. The removal of the catchall “urban” is a step in the right direction. But there’s still a long road ahead.
The NBA is conducting rigorous COVID-19 testing before 22 teams descend upon Disney World to begin its bubble league in an attempt to wrap up the 2019-20 season. This testing, it has long been presumed, would identify cases of the virus before players head to Orlando and would let the league keep everyone who makes their way into the bubble safe.
The first round of testing occurred on June 23, the first day that the league mandated that this would occur in its pre-Orlando guidelines. Of 302 tests done to players, the NBA announced that it was able to find 16 positive cases. According to a release put out by the league, “Any player who tested positive will remain in self-isolation until he satisfies public health protocols for discontinuing isolation and has been cleared by a physician.”
There is no word on how many more rounds of testing will occur between now and the day that teams begin making their way to Florida — which is currently one of the COVID-19 hotspots in the United States — or if any coaches/additional team personnel were tested and identified as positive cases. There have, however, been a few players who have announced that they contracted the virus, like Indiana Pacers guard Malcolm Brogdon and several members of the Sacramento Kings.
Testing and identifying positive cases before restarting a league is nothing new, as we saw this occur with soccer leagues in Europe before things kicked back off. For example, the English Premier League conducted numerous rounds of testing before it fired its campaign back up and as it has resumed. In a statement put out by the Prem earlier this week, thousands of tests have been conducted in that period of time, with 18 total positive cases being identified as a result.
Last week, Beyonce celebrated Juneteenth by releasing “Black Parade.” Proceeds from the track are going to her BEYGood Foundation’s Black Business Impact Fund, which offers financial assistance to Black-owned small businesses in need. Her move to support small businesses was her latest philanthropic act, for which the singer is now being recognized. Beyonce is slated to receive BET’s 2020 Humanitarian Award as recognition for the impact she’s had through her BEYGood Foundation.
Since founding BEYGood, Beyonce has supported many important initiatives. In 2019, she partnered with UNICEF to create BeyGood4Burundi, a multi-year clean water program that focuses on regions in East Africa.
Beyonce and the BEYGood Foundation were also quick to jump into action at the beginning of the pandemic. The foundation donated $6 million to coronavirus relief funds and the singer recently joined with her mother to launch the #IDIDMYPART initiative, which passed out 1,000 test kits, face masks, gloves, essential vitamins, and household supplies to citizens and urged Houston residents to get routinely tested for the virus. “The virus is wreaking havoc on the Black community so we need a movement to prioritize our health,” Knowles Lawson said about the program.
By being awarded the BET Humanitarian Award, Beyonce joins the ranks of other charitable musicians. Past recipients of the award include Chance The Rapper and the late Nipsey Hussle.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE — This is important
HBO’s new Perry Mason series debuted this week. It is fine. It is even good in places. It is darker than you might have expected, and there is almost definitely more dead infants and hefty nude comedians engaged in pie-related sex acts with young starlets than you expected going in, too. And that was all in the first 10 minutes. It’s really quite a lot.
But that’s not what I’m here to discuss today. I am here to discuss mustaches. There are so many mustaches in Perry Mason. All kinds of them: little thin ones, big bushy ones, the whole deal. That’s the beauty of a show set in the 1930s. Mustaches galore. There are not enough mustaches in present-day television shows. I have always said this.
And so, to recognize this achievement in facial hair, to call attention to this monument of whiskers, we are going to rank some mustaches. We’ll start with the show’s biggest disappointment and build to its biggest triumph. You can probably guess where it’s headed if you, say, looked at the large banner image atop this page. We call this foreshadowing. Or poor storytelling. Either way.
Here goes.
7. Perry
HBO
Perry does not have a mustache as much as he has a drunkard’s perpetual stubble. It makes sense for the character because this version of Perry is usually drunk and/or hungover, and it gives Matthew Rhys an excuse to look very sad and beaten-down in a prestige television series, which is his specialty. But still. Come on. I’m so tempted to open up MS Paint and draw a mustache on him right now, just to see what it would look like. I won’t because we have pressing matters to get to and because once I start scribbling facial hair on people I can lose hours of the day. You can picture it, though.
Huge missed opportunity. Very upsetting.
6. E.B.
HBO
Look at John Lithgow with his fancy little mustache. I love it. It’s thick and white like a vanilla milkshake. And it’s trimmed up so nicely, too. It fits perfectly with his whole look in this picture: glasses, suit, handkerchief, glass of brown liquor. Perfect match of facial hair and character. I’m proud of everyone involved. But we can do better.
5. The morgue guy
HBO
The important thing to remember about the morgue guy — the one who lets Perry use the dead’s discarded clothes as his own morbid Goodwill — is that he wasn’t growing “a Hitler mustache” in the timeframe of this show. We’re only in the 1930s here. Hitler has not yet ruined this look for eternity. If fact, at this point in time, the mustache is probably more associated with Charlie Chaplin. It was cool. People liked it. It’s just that history has not been kind to the look.
I bet if you get the ghost of Charlie Chaplin good and drunk, he’d tell you how mad he is about the whole situation.
4. The evil studio chief guy
HBO
Excellent evil mustache. Kind of a menacing Groucho Marx situation. I knew the instant I saw it that things were about to go very sideways for Perry Mason very quickly. I did not necessarily predict “a red-hot gun barrel will be seared into his sternum like a cattle brand,” but I wasn’t shocked when it happened, either. The mustache never lies.
3. The as-yet-unintroduced district attorney
HBO
I am admittedly cheating here. Stephen Root as the shady district attorney has not yet been introduced in the series. This is a promotional picture that HBO released before the season. I stand by my inclusion of it in this list for the following reasons:
It’s a great old-timey thin mustache
Stephen Root rules
It is not any kind of spoiler to say that Stephen Root is playing a morally flexible authority figure because that describes about 85 percent of the characters he plays, something that no one in the world does better
Moving on.
2. The judge
HBO
This guy was on-screen for like 90 seconds but he still cracks the top two because, like, look at that sucker. Huge and bushy and styled into little points at the ends. A magnificent display of grooming all-around.
A small part of me hopes we never see this character again and the actor grew all of that out just for this one scene in the premiere. Like, he’s clean-shaven the rest of his life but he’s such a committed method actor that he spent two months growing this out for one day on set. I hope he kept it in working order for weeks in case they needed reshoots. I like to picture him going to the gym in Santa Monica with this exact look but little running shorts and a t-shirt on.
1. Pete
HBO
There it is. Look at Shea Wigham. Look at the king. I suppose he’s getting bonus points here for the entire picture, the snooping and the face and all of it. I can’t help it. This was a real promotional picture that HBO released for the show and I just adore it. Every part of it. Including the mustache. I don’t think the rest of this works without it. It ties it all together. A perfect mustache for a perfect picture.
Take a few minutes this weekend and ask yourself how you’d react if you saw someone doing exactly this on the street someday. I would be so curious. What’s he doing? Why’s he being so sneaky? What kinds of secrets does he keep in that mustachioed head of his? I must know. I must know at once.
ITEM NUMBER TWO — Rest in peace, Joel
Regency
Joel Schumacher passed away this week, which stinks. I didn’t love all of his movies, but I did love that he made Choices — Capital C — in all of them. Greasy sax man in Lost Boys, greasy… everyone in A Time to Kill, nipples on the Batsuit, the man never saw a flourish he couldn’t flick into a big-budget Hollywood picture. One of my favorites is depicted in the screencap up there, from The Client, where he had Tommy Lee Jones briefly stop interrogating — threatening — a child to take a big old sip from the kind of tiny milk carton you get with lunch in elementary school. It’s so preposterous, so outlandish, and yet perfectly effective. It’s so much more menacing than if he had been drinking, for example, scotch. Milk. From a carton. Total psycho move.
Schumacher was also a blast in interviews, as anyone who has read his chat with Vulture from a few years back can attest. That interview goes places, buddy. I’ll leave most of the fun discoveries for you to find, but please note this section.
Another one of your talents has always been your respect for actors. You very infrequently said terrible things about them in the press.
No, I said Tommy Lee Jones was an asshole in People magazine.
But you hired him twice, in The Client and then Batman Forever.
He was fabulous on The Client. But he was not kind to Jim Carrey when we were making Batman Forever. And I didn’t say Val [Kilmer] was difficult to work with on Batman Forever. I said he was psychotic.
I love this for two major reasons:
The interviewer tries to pay him a compliment and Schumacher immediately corrects it, not by saying “that’s not correct” but by including a specific example that provides evidence from the past and evidence from the present, because he calls out Tommy Lee Jones by name, unprompted, just to make a point
He also heaves Val Kilmer under the bus for good measure, again, completely unprompted
I have said this hundreds of times. I will say it hundreds more. The best interview subjects are aging celebrities who have seen decades of wild stuff and are old enough to no longer care about biting their tongue. No one needs another interview with the hot young star of the moment. They don’t have anything to say yet, just because they haven’t seen anything worth discussing. Give me a long freewheeling chat with someone who has stories and wants to tell them instead. Give me one every week. Make it a podcast if you want. Have their grandkids teach them how to use GarageBand to set it up. Whatever it takes.
ITEM NUMBER THREE — This counts as news now
Will Ferrell has a new movie coming out. It’s called Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga and it co-stars Rachel McAdams and it’s coming to Netflix. That’s a good enough excuse for us to rank Will Ferrell movies and it’s definitely enough for me to use an entire section of this column to discuss “Red Ships of Spain,” a very old and very weird SNL sketch that I like very much. It features Ferrell as Robert Goulet, which is already a nice start, and please watch his old appearance on Conan in character as Goulet for confirmation. It also features Alec Baldwin and Chris Parnell doing Goulet-style impressions. They’re all putting on a musical titled Red Ships of Spain that looks terrible and beautiful and… actually, let me just blockquote a pretty helpful explanation instead of bungling it myself.
The sketch cuts back and forth between excerpts from the show, itself, to reviews of the show that appear in various print media. Much of the humor is derived from how sloppy and unprofessional the stage production is, from the Goulet brothers performing in their signature dark glasses (while smoking cigarettes), to singing nonsensical lyrics that are inconsistent with the show’s period setting, to random breaks in character which culminate in Robert angrily storming off stage after an altercation with Ken (Baldwin). A particularly memorable review notes that the reviewer, “fell asleep during the production and when I woke up, was so convinced I was still dreaming, I got up on stage and walked around. The odd thing is, the show is such an ugly mess, no one seemed to notice or care.” Another review points out that for the show’s opening performance, two of the Goulet brothers were replaced by their understudies. In spite of this, tickets are said to cost $90 and up.
Want to know my favorite thing about that blockquote? I’ll tell you: I got it from the Wikipedia page for Robert Goulet. This sketch covers a full two paragraphs in a section titled “Legacy.” There’s something almost powerfully funny about that. The man lived a long life, crooned with the best of them, made a name for himself as a Vegas institution, and a huge chunk of his Wikipedia page is devoted to a stupid SNL sketch that only maybe 60 people in the world care about. Life is a journey.
Want to know my second favorite thing about that blockquote? I’ll tell you that, too: It is immediately followed by this sentence.
The American Mustache Institute presents The Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award to the person who best represents or contributes to the Mustached American community during that year.
Give it to Shea Wigham. He’s earned it.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Only the Minions can save us
UNIVERSAL
Well, we’re trying to open things back up a little after a few months of quarantine. It’s not going great so far. Cases are spiking, people are refusing to wear masks, it’s not been a super ideal situation. The lesson is that people can’t be trusted. We need barriers to hold us back. We need an external source of prevention to keep us safe. We need, apparently, the Minions.
French movie fans ventured back into cinemas on Monday for the first time since the COVID-19 lockdown, helped by a new safety feature: minions placed at intervals in the seats to ensure social distancing is observed.
Imagine someone hopping out of a time machine from, like, 1988 and seeing a future where a movie theater only seats 40 people in masks and the rest of the seats are occupied by tiny yellow stuffed dolls with goggles on and none of the mask-wearing humans are acting like it’s weird. I would go right back to 1988. I would make so much money gambling on sports once I go back. I would be the bad guy from Back to the Future II, basically. I’m okay with it.
The minions, dressed in their trademark goggles and dungarees, were placed strategically around the auditorium to enforce a rule that viewers leave at least one place free between them and their neighbours.
Big shoutout to the theater employees whose jobs very surprisingly consisted of purchasing and arranging hundreds of Minions dolls. We’re all having a weird summer, but that’s something quite special.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE — It is time, once again, to check in with Werner Herzog
It has been a while since we checked in with German filmmaker and delightful maniac Werner Herzog, star of The Mandalorian and possessor of some wild opinions about chickens, which you can hear if you click that video up there, which you absolutely should. The man is a treasure.
And I have terrific news: The Guardian tracked him down for a chat over Zoom. The first part of the piece details the process of Zooming with Werner Herzog, and I do suggest you go there and read it after you watch the chicken clip, but I’m going to jump ahead to this paragraph.
Ideally, he would be out on a shoot right now. Until then there are books. Herzog reads voraciously; he says that all the good directors do. It doesn’t even have to be great literature. His friend, the documentary maker Errol Morris, recently recommended that he read, a real piece of crap. “It was a bad book by a failed lion tamer. His arm was bitten off by a lion. He wrote with the other arm. And it’s a wonderful book to read because you have to comb the content against the texture and it gives you fabulous insights into human nature. It is the same with trash movies, trash TV. WrestleMania. The Kardashians. I’m fascinated by it. So I don’t say read Tolstoy and nothing else. Read everything. See everything. The poet must not avert his eyes.”
He has said that exact thing about Wrestlemania and the Kardashians a few times, but it never fails to blow me away. And, somehow, none of that holds a candle to the other stuff he said about that poor lion tamer. I want him to get way into writing Amazon reviews. Werner Herzog reviewing the most trivial items you can imagine. A toothbrush, a cat calendar, a single spoon. We’re all quarantined. He’s not going anywhere. He has time, I bet.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Amanda:
I don’t know when I knew my husband had this condition. Perhaps it was when we saw Monuments Men, and he asked who the actress was playing Matt Damon’s contact with the unconvincing French accent. “Cate Blanchett,” I replied.
He squinted. “That’s Cate Blanchett?”
I nodded. It was understandable he didn’t recognize her then, what with the period clothes and the accent and (I think) a wig. But then I noticed this happening a lot. Every time we saw a movie with Miss Cate, he failed to recognize her. Even movies in which she, to my recollection, doesn’t do much to obscure her appearance, such as “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.” Even on the frequent occasions where she dons a wig or sports an accent, one would think those piercing blue eyes and cheese slicing cheekbones would speak for themselves.
No.
My husband never recognizes her.
This raises so many questions. First, what does he think Cate Blanchett looks like? Is there any movie where she could pop up and he’d say “Hey, Cate Blanchett!” I have no idea. It’s deeply puzzling and it’s a mystery I will never solve.
This is a good email. And I didn’t even include the part where Amanda describes this condition as “Cate Blanchett Face Blindness.” More emails like this, please.
I have a similar but different issue that I deal with: I absolutely cannot keep Emily Blunt and Rose Byrne straight. I know they’re different people. I enjoy them in a number of movies (Blunt especially in Edge of Tomorrow; Byrne especially in Spy), but if you surprised me with a picture of one of them I’d probably stammer and babble for a second before tossing out a nervous guess. I don’t know why I have this problem. They don’t even look alike. All they have in common is a profession and an accent. This is very much on me and my broken brain. But it’s still true. I feel like Amanda’s husband and I would get along.
AND NOW, THE NEWS
To Pennsylvania!
Going to your community pool to stay cool? If you or a family member has diarrhea, stay home! It only takes one person having diarrhea in the water to contaminate ALL of the water in a pool. Learn more: https://t.co/44afevWjdKpic.twitter.com/ml3jVdhL5C
— PA Department of Health (@PAHealthDept) June 24, 2020
This section is usually an exercise in me finding a goofy story involving an animal on the loose or an unconventional crime or both, but this time we’re going in a different direction. There’s nothing I can do about it. I saw this tweet — from the verified account of my home state’s Department of Health — warning people about going into a pool while afflicted with diarrhea and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. It’s partially the words, which would have been plenty, but it’s mostly the graphic. Look at that graphic. Look how cheery and summery it is, with its bright colors and floaties and fun font. I can’t get over it. I don’t know if I ever will.
Remember how I said the theater employees who set up the Minions were having a weird summer? The government employee who had to make this graphic has them beat by miles.
Lady Gaga’s new album, Chromatica, debuted at No. 1 earlier this month thanks to one of the biggest sales weeks for an album this year. With that in mind, now would be a great time to tour behind it, but as everybody knows, a national/world tour wouldn’t be the best idea right now. She had a tour planned, but delayed it earlier this year to then-undetermined dates. Now, though, Gaga has shared when the new shows will be taking place, revealing the six dates have been moved to July and August of 2021.
Sharing the news, Gaga tweeted, “The Chromatica Ball is officially moving to Summer 2021! We’ve been working hard to figure out the safest and soonest way to bring this show to you, but most importantly want everyone to be healthy and able to dance together at the shows as we always have. If you’ve purchased a ticket already, you’ll find all of the new information in your email inbox. I can’t wait to see you there! Keep dancing at home in the meantime.”
The Chromatica Ball is officially moving to Summer 2021! We’ve been working hard to figure out the safest and soonest way to bring this show to you, but most importantly want everyone to be healthy and able to dance together at the shows as we always have. pic.twitter.com/clKcv2tnKA
If you’ve purchased a ticket already, you’ll find all of the new information in your email inbox. I can’t wait to see you there! Keep dancing at home in the meantime
07/25/2021 — Paris, FR @ Stade De France
07/30/2021 — London, UK @ Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
08/07/2021 — Boston, MA @ Fenway Park
08/16/2021 — Toronto, CA @ Rogers Centre
08/19/2021 — East Rutherford, NJ @ Metlife Stadium
08/27/2021 — Chicago, IL @ Wrigley Field
I’m not saying there wouldn’t be a Jurassic Park without Lewis Dodgson, the sunglasses-wearing character played by Cameron Thor, but he was the genesis (InGenesis?) for one of the movie’s most memorable scenes. Lewis is the one who hands Dennis Nedry a Barbasol can to smuggle dinosaur embryos (“Dodgson, Dodgson, we’ve got Dodgson here! Nobody cares. Nice hat. What are you trying to look like, a secret agent?”), leading to the Dilophosaurus attack in the rain. In a sense, Lewis did what Seinfeld always wanted to, but never could — kill Newman — and the character is returning for Jurassic World: Dominion, although he’ll be played by a different actor.
Colliderreports (and Entertainment Weeklylater confirmed) that character actor Campbell Scott has been tapped to play Lewis, who “has been promoted to CEO of Biosyn Genetics, but only time will tell whether the character proves to be the threequel’s big villain.” Remember, the muddy Barbasol can was never recovered in Jurassic Park after Nedry’s death — could it return, like how much of the original cast will be back?
Dodgson’s reemergence may serve as the catalyst for the return of the franchise’s three original heroes, Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill), Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern), and Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), all of whom will have sizable roles in Dominion.
In other news, Dominion will be fully funded by Barbasol product placement.
The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow, and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.
On paper, Khruangbin doesn’t seem like a natural candidate for indie stardom. An eclectic funk-rock trio that originated in Houston in the early ’10s, the band plays largely instrumental jams influenced by R&B and dance music from far-flung corners of the globe, including Thailand, Iran, and Jamaica. It’s the sort of music that attracts vinyl obsessives but rarely a mass audience.
On stage, the three band members also seem like a strange fit: Guitarist Mark Speer and bassist Laura Lee wear long black wigs and vamp with low-key demeanors, while drummer Donald “DJ” Johnson stoically lays down a simple but steady backbeat. Without a flamboyant singer to act as a focus, all of the attention instead is centered on the band’s airy, vaguely psychedelic, and frequently pretty meanderings.
And then there’s the band name, which many fans inevitably pronounce incorrectly. (It’s KRUNG-bin, and it means “airplane” in Thai.)
Nevertheless, over the course of three albums, including the new Mordechai out today, Khruangbin has proven to be universally popular in seemingly divergent scenes. Upon the release of their 2015 debut The Universe Smiles Upon You, they became stars on the UK DJ circuit, where their laidback grooves soundtracked the twilight hours of all-night dance parties. In the U.S., meanwhile, Khruangbin first gained favor in the jamband scene, even playing the annual Jam Cruise in 2019. A few months after that, they were a sizable draw amid a more mainstream pop and indie audience at Coachella.
“I often say we’re the band that did everything wrong,” Johnson says. “We picked the band name that no one could pronounce. Two of the band members have a style, one of them doesn’t look like he belongs. We record in a barn that’s not acoustically treated, it’s not a real studio. Initially one of the band members lived across the Atlantic Ocean from the other two. It was just all wrong.”
For Mordechai — named after a mysterious, philosophical stranger that Lee encountered while camping in London, because it’s just that kind of band — Khruangbin once again decamped to a barn owned by Speer’s family located about an hour outside of Houston, where they made their first two records. Their songwriting method was also unchanged: They compose music together (along with the handful of lyrics that dot the record) and then work through the songs until they can lay down complete takes live. The trick is to make it sound as though the music is flowing as naturally as the breeze through the cow pasture outside the barn doors. They put a lot of hard work into sounding effortless.
The results speak for themselves: Mordechai is the backyard barbecue album of the summer, full of uplifting funk and chilled-out optimism for a time desperately in need of both. To discuss the making of the album, as well as their unlikely journey to success, I spoke with Lee, Speer, and Johnson separately. But even apart, they proved to be oddly in sync, particularly when the subject of Sade came up.
Are you surprised that Khruangbin caught on like it has? It doesn’t exactly seem like a formula for success.
Mark Speer: When we started with the band, I’d pretty much given up any hope that I’d “make it” in the industry. I’d been trying for so many years, in different bands and different roles. I’d definitely given that up. At this point, fuck it. Do what we want. Who cares? No one’s going to give a shit anyway. So let’s call it what we want let’s do it our way.
Laura Lee: I listen to a lot of music and I feel like I have good taste so if it was moving me, hopefully it will resonate with other people, too. I’ve always believed in it. I was going to push it as hard as I could because I thought it was meaningful. But in no way did I think quitting my TA job was going to turn into what it did.
Khraungbin seems uncommonly democratic for a band. You all write the music together, you write the lyrics together, and there’s no real front person. You even all do interviews with the media. Was that a deliberate decision to keep any tensions at bay?
LL: I think it probably started organically but as time has gone on it’s definitely something that’s thought through. Because it’s three instruments and we started out as an instrumental band, every part is equally weighted.
Donald “DJ” Johnson: Before we were a band, we were friends first. That’s always a good thing. It’s no different than a marriage. If you’re friends with your significant other before you were married, there’s a good chance that marriage is going to last and withstand the troubles that come later on because you have a good foundation of friendship.
MS: I know when we were first starting out, there was talk about getting a singer. Like, “Oh fuck, if we get a singer, it’s going to be all about the singer.” It should be about the music, and I’d rather just be about the music and just be about what we do. If that means that we don’t get to be popular, big deal. I wasn’t really searching for popularity anyway.
LL: We’re kind of lucky that it’s three of us. Because if Mark and I are having a debate about something then we have a tiebreaker built-in.
An oft-told story about the band is that Laura started playing bass not long before you formed, and DJ hadn’t played drums in many years when he joined. How do you think that influenced your sound?
LL: I think that there’s a lot of beauty in naiveté and simplicity. Especially when I listen to those early tapes of Khruangbin recordings, there’s a real childlike playfulness for me, on my bass lines. And I think for DJ, it was an enthusiasm to play an instrument that he was being reacquainted with.
DJ: There are flashy drummers that could do all kinds of amazing things. I’m just not that guy. I mean, that was part of the reason I stopped playing drums in the first place because everyone in Houston that I was seeing were playing circles around me. They could do all these amazing things and they had so much speed and agility and so many great ideas. And I’m still not that guy. If you go on YouTube, you’ll find someone doing something amazing and they’re like only seven years old. I think stylistically, what I do, it worked well for what the band needed starting off and especially moving forward.
Khruangbin draws musical inspiration from funk, soul, and dance music from all around the world. What distinguishes funk music from, say, Thailand or Iran from American funk?
LL: I think it’s the interpretation. I feel the language of particular countries greatly influences the music from those countries, so you’ll find that in countries like Thailand where the language is tonal, that the melodic elements of their songs are very unique, at least to us in the Western world. And then, in places like West Africa, you’ll find certain rhythmic patterns that seem more complex because their language happens to be more rhythmic sounding. In Iran, where this culture and their language is so romantic — and when I say romantic I don’t necessarily mean love, I mean it’s heavy — you’ll have these really almost metal-sounding bass lines.
MS: What we really like is the collision of culture. I like hearing music that is a collision of the influence of the West with the tradition of that region. Let’s just say that it’s the early ’60s. You see this group from England who’s been touring the world, and they come through your town, and you’re like, “Whoa, this is so cool, man.” So, you and your buddies go get some drums and a bass and a guitar. But although you’ve been influenced by this Western group, you can’t turn off your genetic memory, that built-in memory of place and time and a region. So you’re going to start playing the music you know, music you grew up hearing, but now you’re playing it on Western electrified instruments. It creates this collision of culture, and you get things like shadow music in Thailand where it sounds like surf rock, but you’re playing Thai scales. You’re singing in Thai. You’re using Thai rhythms. But you’re using a drum kit, electric bass, electric guitar. I just love that collision.
You’ve talked about how Mordechai also has a strong influence from Houston. How did Houston shape Khruangbin?
LL: We regularly talk about the international influence from Houston, which is a huge part of it. You have the medical center, which is considered essentially the best in the states and the world. And a really huge cancer researching center that draws people from all over the world to come there, as well as the oil and gas industry. It was very common for anybody from Houston to have friends from Pakistan or from Russia or from wherever because their parents were doctors or oil and gas people. Therefore, you’re hanging out with them, hearing what their parents play when you’re at their homes.
DJ: We didn’t realize that the rest of the world wasn’t like this until we started moving around. I know places that are on the coast, like New York, LA specifically, San Francisco, they get credited with being multicultural and diverse, but Houston is rarely talked about in that regard, but it’s really one of those places. There’s some really interesting fusions that happen as a result of cultures clashing here in the city. It’s one of those places where you can go to a strip center and you’ll have a super authentic bomb Vietnamese spot, and they’re serving authentic food, and over the loud speaker they’re playing authentic Vietnamese music. Then you’ll go right next door and there’ll be a super dope African spot where they’re serving Ethiopian food and they’re playing authentic Ethiopian music.
You’ve recorded all of your albums in the same barn. Why?
DJ: Khruangbin always plays to the room. That’s one of our things, no matter where we are, we try to play to our environment. If we’re on a stage at a festival to a lot of people and it’s a party atmosphere, we’ll play a little bit louder and a little bit more intense. If we’re playing in a small living room, maybe a hundred people, we’ll play really quiet and kind of bring people in. In the same way, in the way we record in this environment, being a barn, we can open the doors to the barn and you can see just grass and open fields as far as the eye can see. Big sky, just cows, it’s really peaceful, really quiet out there. You’re playing for the cows. If you play bad music, the cows are going to go away.
I’ve seen Khruangbin grouped in with the jam scene, perhaps because you’ve played the Jam Cruise and once opened for Trey Anastasio’s solo band. Do you have any affinity for jam bands?
LL: We’re not a jam band, in the sense that we play structured songs with parts. Whereas the jam scene doesn’t and it has much more of a jazz, improvisational aesthetic to it.
MS: I really have a big soft spot in my heart for the jam community. It was one of the first scenes to really give us love when we started touring in the states, because prior to that, we had toured overseas. Over there, it’s like the DJ culture was our first audience, essentially. We were known for being that band you put on at the end of the night when you’re coming down after a nonstop dance party. So, we got a lot of love through those folks. Living in the states, the first crowd that gave us love was the jam band scene. I was like, what? Wild.
LL: The fans really, really care about music. And a lot of that music is instrumental which I think serves us well. I see a similarity between jam band festivals and DJ culture. Because in both worlds, a performance is very much a journey and it’s non-stop music from start to finish. So people in the audience can bliss out and be taken on that ride where the sequencing of it is really thoughtful.
You’ve toured throughout America, but you’ve also played all over the world, including countries where a lot of bands don’t play, including numerous countries in Asia and South America. What are audiences like here versus there?
LL: I’d say America is the rowdiest, which also comes with people talking during the show, which isn’t a bad thing, everybody is having a good time. But there are countries like Belgium in particular, and I’ll say Europe as a whole, they’re just really attentive. They don’t cheer as much but they also don’t talk as much. I feel like in Asia as a whole, the audiences are really excited. I think because there aren’t that many western bands that come. And then in South America, especially Argentina, they have amazing claps. Like, their rhythm on clapping is second to none. So, like when we play “Maria También,” the claps we do in the background have never gone off so well.
I’m going to ask all three of you the same question, and we’ll see if you give the same answer: In the past you have collaborated with Leon Bridges and the Wu-Tang Clan. Who would be your dream collaboration?
LL: Sade
DJ: Sade, 100 percent.
MS: Duh.
LL: We always say Sade. I mean, that’s our dream. She’s like a unicorn of music and she kind of inspires us from just how people see her, in addition to the way her music sounds. She’s iconic but she’s also not super out there in the world. There’s a lot of mystery surrounding her.
DJ: I grew up listening to Sade. I mean, I was one of the most awkward kids ever, but I would take my boombox into the bathroom when I would take showers in the morning and I would listen to Sade while getting ready for school. It was either Sade or James Brown.
MS: She’s priceless. There’s a concept in design, in presentation, where it’s like, you go to a shop and there’s a billion things in the window. You know that place is going to be pretty inexpensive. You go to a shop and there’s one thing in the window, you know that place is going to be very expensive. I don’t know how much it costs to get Sade to come play your event, but it seems less like it’s a matter of money and more like you must complete this mission. And you have to go and learn something about yourself and come back a more enlightened person before you can unlock the Sade achievement. She just has this vibe.
Welcome back to our various stages of reopening reunion! Phase (insert whatever numerical reopening stage where you live is at) friend? Testing out new things to call you, dear reader, as well as what we’re seeing from players in this column.
I have to level with you: It was my hope to cover everything in NBA isolation until that isolation ended, either with the season being called, resuming, or, in a perfect world, shifting directly into NBA summer vacation. But starting this, there was no way to see ahead to now with messy things have gotten. We’ve lost the initial equalizing experience of the pandemic, and in their return to play and staggered arrivals to Orlando or seasons ending, basketball players have, too.
So how long does this go now? Will you trust me when I say until it feels right to gently close the gilded cover on this scrapbook of basketball in a pandemic? Yes? Thank you.
Bradley Beal
Beal marched on Juneteenth in Washington this week. John Wall, Rui Hachimura, and Ian Mahinmi all went with him. Beal also spoke about the significance of Juneteenth and called for accountability from police all the way up through every level of government. Without getting too ahead of ourselves, and shifting attention from where it needs to stay (justice and equality for Black lives), this tragic and powerful past spring into summer has amplified player’s voices in a very tangible and necessary way, and there’s no going back from it.
Rating: It has also shown there is no way in good conscience to ever trash talk the Washington Wizards again.
Lou Williams
Williams hit the water on Juneteenth and offered some advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed, worn down, or otherwise carrying a lot of psychic weight. It’s good advice. There are plenty of studies that show even a prolonged bath, if you can’t make it to open water or a pool, is good for the human brain as a stress regulator. So take it from Williams and science, please.
Rating: And stay hydrated.
Terry Rozier
I couldn’t tell you if Rozier just got this, or he’s had it all along and only now decided to match his outfit to this gigantic jeep and strike a pose on it in the sunshine, but both are well beside the point. Take it from Terry and find joy where you can, folks.
Rating: And include your friends if you can, even if it is them pointing at you like, “Get a load of this guy.”
Fred VanVleet
For Father’s Day, VanVleet carefully curled his one year old son as a very cute and powerful weight. Fred Jr. was born last year during the Eastern Conference Finals. Everyone knows the boost he gave to his dad in slaying the Bucks, and he is putting forth that protection now as VanVleet heads to Orlando early with the Raptors.
Rating: Cute and strong, a motto for living.
JaVale McGee
McGee marched this week in a Juneteenth rally in L.A., masked up with a pair of the most expressive eyes in the league imploring you, the viewer, to keep the pressure and support on where it counts.
Rating: I question greatly your capacity for compassion if you are able to ever let JaVale McGee down and sleep at night.
Tobias Harris
Have we shared posts of players sharing astrology memes here yet? It was a matter of time. If you hadn’t — how? — heard, it’s Cancer season. Overall that means it’s a sensitive time where a groundswell of change is possible but only if we are open about our vulnerabilities and shortcomings. Cancers, how do I put this, not always the best as embodying this? Anyway this is a pretty good meme.
Rating: Column of NBA players going deep into astrology forthcoming?
D’Angelo Russell
D’Angelo Russell took a trip to Mexico this week and despite the caliber of his on camera expressions, seems to be having fun. He arrived, greeted “rum,” took a plane ride, piloted the small craft (apologies for this very stretched out version of his face, maybe something to do with flight speed and Instagram?), and attempted to s’more.
I hope he was successful in that attempt because this is one dude who could use some sweetness in his life, don’t you think?
Rating: Hello Rum.
Tim Hardaway Jr.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it ten million more times until you listen to me, but man, does Tim Hardaway Jr. know how to ride out a pandemic. This time, poolside with a loaded bagel made just for him.
Rating: Petition to demote the old, angry, quite short Bagel Boss and replace them with relaxed, quite tall Tim.
Rudy Gobert
Ever since he went and got the league shut down, Gobert has been facing some warranted criticism and what seems like more than the pandemic-mandated social distancing. Like, he doesn’t seem to have many friends, I mean. This fact was exemplified anew this week when Gobert befriended a tiny bee. We get the sense from his caption that they have already been spending a fair amount of time together when this was recorded, we also get the sense that Gobert is trying to get something called “Bee Energy” off the ground.
Rating: It won’t fly and I have to wonder how long this new friendship lasts before Gobert is told, once again, to buzz off.
Delon Wright
Confession: I miss Delon Wright. He was part of Toronto’s inaugural Bench Mob and thrived alongside the once-upstart Raptors now at the core of the team. I’ve watched his career, since he was sent to Memphis and now Dallas, with a lot of hope and a little anxiety. Seeing these photos of Wright atop his convertible in a pink shirt was like finally getting a postcard that’s been lost in the mail…
Rating: …but like one of those ancient portrait photographs on a postcard where people didn’t smile in pictures yet.
Norman Powell and Malcolm Miller
Powell headed to Orlando this week to join the Raptors as the first team entering the bubble and/or “mesh hat.” Partway into his journey, he realized he was seated beside Malcolm Miller, who did not yet recognize Powell. It’s one thing if the mask on Norm’s face confused Miller but the Understand The Grind t-shirt really should have given it away.
Before this flight, just to further break your heart, Miller had to say goodbye to his very cute dog, North. She was bummed out.
Rating: Proof that it’s not just you, it really has been 80 years since basketball. Championship teammates no longer recognize one another.
Otto Porter Jr.
Porter Jr. got up bright and early and put his kit on to watch the match, this week. Do you think he enjoyed a nice jambon and potato bombas? Do you think he pronounces Barcelona with a th every time he cheers?
Rating: Look, this isn’t La Liga Self-Isolation Watch, I do what I can.
Enes Kanter
Enes Kanter
After a couple weeks away from destroying his appliances Kanter is up to his freak test kitchen tricks again. I would not consider injecting peanut butter into a ball of cookie dough with a medical-grade syringe “starting slow” for everyone, but trust me, he’s easing back into it here.
Rating: Maybe he finally ran out of waffle irons to wreck.
Marco Belinelli
Like the longest day of sunshine signifies the solstice and the official start of summer, Marco Belinelli submerging himself into an ice bath marks the Spurs entering into the preparations for the closing of another just fine season in the western conference.
Rating: Something about Belinelli’s very reliable legs encased in a loose ice bath is very comforting, though.
Kelly Oubre Jr.
The Tsunami Papi was seen out and about this week but the thing he wants us to note most closely, by the pointing and the several photo gradual zoom in, is that his sunglasses spell “NO”..
Rating: Contrarian shades, maybe even a sporty wraparound version that says NOPE, here for it.
Terence Davis
In continuing Raptors-heavy content this week, Davis did a friendly spy sesh from his balcony upon arrival in Florida. He peered birdseye down at assistant coach Jim Sann (thanks to prominent Raptors insider, Blake Murphy, for the help on positive ID via top of head shape), doing some stretches, who eventually sensed he was being watched and looked up to be cheered on by Davis. This team is full of angels and if anything happens to them, I can’t even let myself go there.
Rating: Squad full of sweet grinders, indeed.
Robert Covington
Excuse the blurry capture but reptiles in repose are difficult to display. Covington showed off the new digs for his two pet pythons, Max and Elle, as well as for his geckos? Medium sized lizards? The “4 brothers.” If cold-blooded creatures can be happy, then these ones are stoked.
Rating: Or should I say, sssssstoked.
Jodie Meeks
Meeks had a good mail day this week.
Rating: Champs deserve all the bubble gum they want!
Josh Okogie
Okogie took to the links this week in a great big little convoy of golf carts really ripping around. His summer vacation begins somewhat abruptly now and I hope he enjoys himself.
Rating: How fast can your standard golf cart typically go? This is a question for Dime Deputy Editor and resident benevolent golf expert, Robby Kalland.
Chris Boucher
Boucher is in Florida and already having a good time, indoors, thank god. He tested out a few Instagram filters before he settled on this one, which he really liked, because he recorded three videos simultaneously, his dancing growing more unrestrained by the second.
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