Previously on the Best and Worst of Friday Night Smackdown: Miz and Morrison spent the day pranking Braun Strowman and accidentally slimed Kayla Braxton, while the very tasteful story of Sheamus calling Jeff Hardy “a junkie” continued.
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Here’s the Best and Worst of WWE Friday Night Smackdown for June 12, 2020.
Worst: Who Are You And What Have You Done With Brandon?!?
Hi, everybody! Scott Heisel here. You might recognize my byline around these parts, especially if you enjoy me recapping an old cowboy refusing to ride off into the sunset. Brandon is taking a much-deserved weekend off from challengers pinning champions in non-title matches (not that this scenario would ever happen, but just as a hypothetical).
Worst: Urine Trouble
Okay, so let’s just get the worst part of the episode out of the way immediately, the same way Smackdown had this segment open the show. The Jeff Hardy, Potentially Relapsing Addict angle is pretty gross no matter how much they try to play his real-life addictions for sympathy (and it is worth noting that having Hardy on TV admitting he’s an alcoholic who attends weekly AA meetings is powerful), and this segment does nothing to change it. Sheamus and Hardy are scheduled to have a contract signing — when was the last time a match not for a championship had a contract signing, anyway? — but Sheamus (who brings out security guards for some reason, though it’s never quite explained why) refuses to sign anything until he makes Hardy take a piss test on national TV. Even if you missed the spoilers earlier in the week, it goes exactly the way you’d expect it. with Hardy throwing what looked to be a solid pint of piss at the Celtic Warrior, after having his epic burn of “It’s better to be pissed off than be pissed on” muted by FOX censors (and the whole incident cut from the west coast feed entirely). WWE continues to find ways to trip over their own feet with FOX, who has to be wondering if there’s any sort of out clause in their $1 billion, 5-year TV deal. But hey, at least an old billionaire got to chuckle at someone becoming the cover boy for next month’s issue of Piss Drinkers. Wrestling!
Best: Black Lives Matter
Infinite praise goes to Big E and Kofi Kingston for using their platform on primetime TV to speak out on behalf of Breonna Taylor, Tamla Horsford and Shukri Abdi. Who would’ve thought the New Day would eventually circle back around to its Nation Of Domination roots?
Worst: Cesaro And Shinsuke Nakamura Have Pinned The Smackdown Tag Team Champions!
You’ve got to think that puts them into contention for a future title shot!
Best: Professional By God Wrestling
The big hook of this episode was the Intercontinental Championship finals between Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles. While early word from inside the PC said this match, taped weeks ago, was top notch, there was still a huge part of me that expected a schmozz finish — maybe with Sami Zayn returning — to force a redo at Backlash this Sunday. But WWE, to their credit (just this one time), actually stuck to their word and let two of the best professional wrestlers in the world (which is round, btw) have an absolutely outstanding professional wrestling match that took up nearly 45 minutes of TV time.
The ensuing contest is without a doubt one of the best on WWE TV in 2020 thus far, and for sure the best thing that’s been on Friday nights in a long while. Bryan and Styles put on a goddamn clinic for an audience who will actually benefit the most from watching it up close — PC trainees and NXT wrestlers. Even though there were a slew of commercial breaks throughout (and what do you wanna bet DBry and AJ actually continued to wrestle through those breaks as to not break their pacing?), the match continued to build tension throughout, with the little things really shining through.
For example, early on Bryan sells his left arm, which stops him from applying the surfboard to Styles. He then tries to turn it into an inverted surfboard, but gets his shoulders down in the process, making Charles Robinson start counting to three and meaning he has to release the submission.
Later on in the match, after Styles has been softening up Bryan’s left knee for some time, Bryan is in position for his Yes Kicks, but there’s a brief moment where he pauses ever so slightly during his windup to sell the knee. It’s beautiful, and it’s stuff like this (and his secretly sadistic streak that reminds me he might be a face but he’ll never be a goody two shoes) that is a stark reminder why Bryan is still one of top talents in the industry — and the final sequence, where Styles catches Bryan mid-Knee Plus and hits a Styles Clash, followed by a Phenomenal Forearm for the win, was just stunning, and is a reminder that Styles, when paired with the right talent, is just as good. Maybe they’ll just re-air this during Backlash instead of Edge/Orton. Y’know, card subject to change and all that.
Best: The WWE Prom-formance Center
Pre-promance Center? Prom-promance Promer? Whichever works better for you. Sure, it’s yet another variation of a promo parade, but it also featured balloon arches, Sasha Banks in sequins and Bayley absolutely roasting Michael Cole over a selfie. Oh, and let’s not forget the best part:
The IIconics magically being summoned on the Titantron! Way to keep socially distant and still have an impact, ladies.
Best: The Band Is Back Together
My beloved beef boi Otis finally has his best friend back by his side. Tucker Knight returned from… the tattoo parlor, apparently? Seriously, this is his first appearance on WWE programming in two months. Where the fuck has he been? Did he have COVID? At this point, I have to assume anyone who’s not a main event player and does not live outside the country but is still not on TV probably caught the ‘rona. Dude literally lives in Orlando. What was keeping him from the PC, traffic?
Frankly, I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get any more Otis and Mandy vignettes this week, as I have absolutely loved them. I know Brandon and I split on this. (You should see our debates on the With Spandex Slack channel.) But I identify with Otis more than almost any pro wrestler in history, so keep those increasingly ridiculous Vaseline-lens clips coming.
The main event was a six-man tag that featured Heavy Machinery and Braun Strowman versus a dangerously overtanned Dolph Ziggler teaming with Miz and Morrison (who had the premiere of their new music video ruined by Braun — rude) that had its fair share of ridiculous moments (such as Braun eating Miz’s sunglasses before the bell rang and Otis deserting his team to go backstage and punch King Corbin in the face, which is the same reaction I have every time I see him too), but ultimately gave Otis the rub as he goes into a pay-per-view weekend where he could conceivably cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase on Braun, Miz, Morrison or all three mid-match. There’s even a moment as the show was going off the air where Otis glances over at Braun, just to let the audience know he is focused on the big prize at hand. I gotta be honest with you, it is wild to me that this Otis/Mandy storyline has made it as far as it has, and that we might be creating a new Macho Man/Miss Elizabeth combination for the 21st century. Long-term storytelling: Who knew it was possible anymore?
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Taylor Swish
(Back in Gorilla)
Sheamus: So what would you rate that segment, fella?
VKM: You’re an eightNext Week; Matt Riddle debuts
The Real Birdman
Otis just heard King was hitting on his girlfriend & was right to sprint to the back
cyniclone
I knew this was coming because the news leaked earlier today
AJ Dusman
“Jeff Hardy’s test results were negative.” -Doctor
“We’re gonna beat this. Ok? ” -Michael Scott
Brute Farce
If “you’re in” luck, “wee” predict this segment will “whiz” by quickly.
The Voice of Raisin
Here we have peaceful protesters like Big E and Kofi trying to make a change, and all the media shows us is guys like Keith Lee breaking a plexiglass window with Johnny Gargano.
Mr. Bliss
That doctor is way too giddy to get Jeff’s urine.
EvilDucky
Hey, not even 8:30 and we’ve got a “X has pinned the tag team champions!” Feels early tonight
Baron Von Raschke
The pause in the comments reminds me of when AJ was on SmackDown right after the show moved to USA and we just all stopped commenting to enjoy AJ wrestling a match.
AddMayne
That’s it for this week’s Smackdown — all in all, I thought it was a pretty good episode, liquid human waste not withstanding. Thanks for reading, and make sure to be back here Sunday night for Backlash. Will it feature a Universal championship change? Probably not! But what this theory presupposes is… maybe?
Early into the quarantine, realizing people at home were starving for entertainment, Timbaland and Swizz Beatz took to Instagram Live for a livestream beat battle that captivated hip-hop lovers from all over. That tussle would soon give way to Verzuz, a beat battle series that has included everyone Babyface and Teddy Riley, Erykah Badu and Jill Scott, Ludacris and Nelly, and many more. After a short break, Verzuz has returned with an announcement for their next battle.
The latest one will address the Black Lives Matter protests currently taking place all over the country (and the world), with John Legend and Alicia Keys announced to take part in a duel meant to ring in the Juneteenth holiday. The battle had been rumored to be in the works for quite some time, as fans have called for the two to go head-to-head. Legend himself even requested a piano battle between him and Keys back in May, calling it “the best thing.”
News of the battle arrives as both artists are readying their latest albums. Legend will release his sixth LP Bigger Love on the same day of the battle. Meanwhile, Alicia Keys was slated to release her seventh record ALICIA last month, but delayed it due to the pandemic. Legend and Keys’ battle will also serve as the follow-up to Kirk Franklin and Fred Hammond’s battle at the end of May.
You can watch John Legend and Alicia Keys face off on Fri., June 19, at 8pm EST / 5pm EST.
Despite the fact that players are raising some concerns about the situation, it’s hard to imagine a scenario where the NBA doesn’t restart its season in Orlando next month. These various issues, as raised on a call reportedly led by Kyrie Irving on Friday night, will presumably be the source of conversation between the league and its Player’s Association over the coming weeks.
One issue cannot be negotiated away: The United States is currently in the midst of a pandemic, and while the league can take every single precaution possible to make sure those at their various Disney World locations, COVID-19 does not care, as evidenced by the more than two million cases and nearly 117,000 deaths it has caused nationwide. An optimist would say that all of these precautions would work, but as the saying goes, hope for the best and plan for the worst. And in a conversation with Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe, Player’s Association executive director Michele Roberts expressed that her approach before the bubble league begins is that someone will contract the virus.
“That’s the only realistic mind-set you can have going into this. A player is going to test positive,” Roberts said. “It’s not any more of this ‘if’, it’s ‘when’ and what can I do to mitigate against the ‘when.’ When it happens, if I’m not successful, what treatment is available to me, what are my chances of being really, really sick, and how are you detecting the presence of an infection?
“Honestly, I don’t think this is any different than what any American has to come to grips with.”
Roberts, of course, is 100 percent correct, especially with reports coming out in recent days that Disney staffers won’t adhere to the restrictions the NBA puts on its players and are free to come and go as they please. That’s magnified by the fact that Florida has seen an increase in the number of new COVID cases in recent days.
Perhaps the league will get lucky and everyone will stay healthy, which is what every single person is rooting for once they get down to Orlando and set up shop at Disney for several months. But Roberts is a realist, and the reality is that there’s a major risk looming over this entire situation.
Christine and the Queens have thrived during their time in quarantine. Shortly after it began, Christine began to hold nightly livestream concerts from her living room, becoming one of the first artists to do so. The concerts also arrived shortly after the French singer’s 5-track EP La Vita Nuova, as well as the bonus track she added to the album, “I Disappear In Your Arms.” On Friday, she brought the latter to late-night TV, performing the song remotely on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
Performing from an empty venue, Christine freely moved and danced around the stage while belting out the lyrics to the La Vita Nuova bonus track. The performance arrived not long after she serenaded viewers from her apartment for a performance of “People, I’ve Been Sad” on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.
Aside from her own music, Christine has also delivered numerous covers of songs from various genres. She gave a synth-heavy performance of The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights” as well as a cover of Travis Scott’s “Highest In The Room” on 4/20. She also shared a cover of Neil Young’s classic hit “Heart Of Gold.”
You can watch her performance in the video above.
La Vita Nuova is out now via Because. You can get it here.
The musical chairs shuffling of blockbuster release dates continues! On Friday, news broke that Christopher Nolan’s Tenet — once seen as the movie that will bring the masses back to movie theaters amidst a still raging pandemic — was being bumped two weeks back, while Wonder Woman 1984 had been relocated to October. Godzilla vs. Kong was also knocked from its original November 20 date, but that slot didn’t stay open long; as per Deadline, No Time to Die has quickly claimed it, meaning it will open a bit earlier than before.
Mind you, when we say “earlier” we mean five days. The latest Bond, which in our pre-Covid before-time was once slated for release in early April, was supposed to belatedly open on Nov. 25, around Thanksgiving. Now it will…open slightly before Thanksgiving. That’s in America, by the way; in the U.K., it will arrive on Nov. 12. That makes sense; 007 is theirs, after all.
The news was broken on Twitter:
The return of old friends in NO TIME TO DIE.
In cinemas 12th November UK, 20th November US. pic.twitter.com/GkXugGEAba
— James Bond (@007) June 13, 2020
Of course, who knows where we’ll be in November. A second wave of coronavirus infections is still expected, even though Dr. Anthony Fauci recently said it’s “not inevitable.” (Meanwhile, there are plenty of images of newly packed late spring crowds all over the nation sprinkled over social media.) Movie theaters are still optimistically hoping to reopen, with liberal amounts of restrictions, by mid-July. Surely at some point we’ll all be able to watch Daniel Craig fight Rami Malek.
(Via Deadline)
Skincare, cleaning, and other practical products that’ll give you the before-and-afters you deserve and paid for, gosh darn it.
